Four Days ‘til Death

By Blaze Koopa

DAY 1:

When we last left Jack Hammer, he and a reluctant Craw-Daddy were just leaving the Glitz Pit to rescue Gonzales Junior. Let’s join up with them again and see what’s happened so far…


Jack and Craw-Daddy are outside the Glitz Pit.

Craw-Daddy: So… exactly how are we supposed to get to Poshley Heights in four days?

Jack: Well, flying to Rogueport in the blimp doesn’t take a whole day, and riding the Excess Express should take at least three days, so we might end up arriving at Poshley Heights a day early.

Craw-Daddy: One problem though… Wre’s the blimp?

Jack looks up. No blimp.


The Boom Booms and Gonzales Junior, who is tied up and gagged, are flying in the blimp to Poshley Heights.

Bling Bling: HAHAHA!!! Stealing the Cheep Cheep blimp was a great idea!

Bomb Bomb: Yeah! Glad I thought of it!

Bling Bling: WHAT?! It was MY idea!


Bling Bling: SHUT UP, YOU!!!

Back at Glitzville…

Jack: (sarcastically) Great…

Craw-Daddy: No matter. I happen to know an old friend…

Craw-Daddy gets out a cell phone and calls someone.

Jack: What’re you doing?! Ordering a pizza?!

Craw-Daddy: (on phone) And get here as soon as possible!

Craw-Daddy hangs up.

Jack: So who’s your old friend?

Two hours later…

Craw-Daddy: (pointing up) That’s him.

A huge Albatoss flies down and lands near them.

Jack: Woah…

Albatoss: Hey Craw! Who’s this?

Craw-Daddy: Hey Al. This is my worst- OW! Hey! This is Jack Hammer.

Jack. Sup!

Al: Sup! Where can I take you?

Craw-Daddy: Poshley Heights…

Al: Poshley Heights? ... Dunno if I can go that far… I had a long race with my brother today, and I’m kinda tired…

Craw-Daddy: Oh… Um… Well… At least take us to Rogueport…

Jack: And don’t spare the energy!

Al: That’ll work…

Jack and Craw-Daddy climb on Al’s back. Al flies away.



It’s daytime. Al, Craw-Daddy and Jack are just arriving at Rogueport.

Craw-Daddy: Don’t land! What will people say if say see a giant Albatoss landing in the middle of the city?

Al: True… But how will you get down?

Craw-Daddy: We’ll jump.

Jack: JUMP?! Are you feeling okay?

Craw-Daddy: I’m fine! NOW SHUT UP AND JUMP!!!

Jack: Fine!

They jump.

Craw-Daddy: THANKS AL!!!



Jack and Craw-Daddy fall on a fruit cart.

Fruit Cart Guy (Koopa Troopa): My cabbages!

Jack: Cabbage is a vegetable, you idiot!

FCG: So?

Jack: So how is this a fruit cart?

FGC: …

Jack and Craw-Daddy get up.

Craw-Daddy: So where do we go from here?

Jack: The Rogueport station ticket office.

Craw-Daddy: Well let’s go then…

They go to the ticket office. In the office, a suspicious-looking Boomerang Bro with a yellow shell, who already has a ticket, is standing against the wall, staring at Craw-Daddy and Jack. Craw-Daddy gives him a mean look, while Jack gives him an odd one. They walk to the ticket desk.

Jack: Two tickets for the Excess Express, please.

Guy at the ticket desk (Goomba): Wait in line!

Jack and Craw-Daddy turn around to see a loooooooooooooong line.

Jack and Craw-Daddy: UGH!!!

Four hours later…

Guy at the ticket desk: Guys? You’re next!

Jack and Craw-Daddy: Zzz…

GATTD: Guys?

Jack and Craw-Daddy: Zzz…


Jack and Craw-Daddy jump up.

Jack: Wha...? Oh… Finally! How long did THAT take?

GATTD: Four hours.

Jack: You’re kidding me… Oh well, two please.

GATTD: That’ll be 50 coins.



Jack: Crud! One of those desperate times again! Oh well…

Jack jumps over the desk and breaks the ticket machine open. He tears out two tickets.

Jack: Let’s get outta here before-

Two security guards (Shy Guys) show up.

Security Guard: Hold it right there!!!

Jack: Before exactly that happens…

Craw-Daddy: Well don’t just stand there! DO SOMETHING!!!

Jack: Do I have to do everything myself?!

Jack throws hammers at the security guards, knocking them out. Afterwards, Jack and Craw-Daddy run out of the ticket office.

Jack: Well THAT went well…

Craw-Daddy: We have what we wanted. Let’s just get on that train before something else happens!

Jack and Craw-Daddy run off. The Boomerang Bro comes out of the ticket office.

Boomerang Bro: Hehehe! Right on schedule! Now, onto the train!

The Boomerang Bro walks off in the direction that Jack and Craw-Daddy went.


Jack and Craw-Daddy are at the station.

Conductor (Mushroomer): Tickets please.

Jack hands their tickets to the conductor.

Conductor: Your room number is 006. Thank you for choosing the Excess Express. Enjoy your ride!

Craw-Daddy: Yeah yeah! Whatever!

Conductor: …

Jack: Don’t mind him. He’s always like that.

Craw-Daddy: RRRRRR!

Jack and Craw-Daddy get on the train. The Boomerang Bro comes, hands his ticket to the conductor, and gets on the train.

Conductor: ALL ABOARD!!!

The conductor gets on the train. The train whistles and pulls away.



Jack and Craw-Daddy are in room 006.

Craw-Daddy: Three days on this train, right?

Jack: Mm-hmm…

Craw-Daddy: Well then… we should make it to Poshley Heights in good time.

Jack: Hopefully… If nothing goes wrong…

Craw-Daddy: Oh, quit worrying! How could anything go wrong?

Jack: That Boomerang Bro that got on the train after us bothers me. I think he was the same one from the ticket office…

Craw-Daddy: (scratching beak) Hmm…

Jack: I think I’ll go look around… Can’t be too careful, ya know…

Craw-Daddy: Do that…

Jack walks out of the room. Craw-Daddy sits on the bed. Suddenly, an inch-high version of him with horns and a pointy tail pops out of nowhere on his knee.

Craw-Daddy: O_o…  Let me guess… You’re my bad conscience?

Craw-Daddy’s Bad Conscience: How’d ya know? Anyway, lemme tell you something, sissy!

Craw-Daddy: SISSY?!

CDBC jumps onto Craw-Daddy’s beak.

CDBC: Look here! You don’t have to help that fool! He’s not the boss of you!

Craw-Daddy: … You’re right. What am I doing helping that fool?!

CDBC: THAT’S IT!!! Show that fool what’s what!

Craw-Daddy’s good conscience (inch-high Craw-Daddy with wings and a halo) appears next to CDBC. (I know… I can’t believe he has one either…)

CDGC: What are you thinking?! Don’t even try that! You almost killed Jack yesterday, and you rightfully owe him!

CDBC: Must you always butt in?!

CDGC: Why don’t YOU butt out?!

CDBC: Why don’t you?!

CDGC: Why don’t you?!

CDBC: Why don’t you?!

CDGC: Why don’t you?!

Craw-Daddy: Um…

CDBC: Why don’t you?!

CDGC: Why don’t you?!

CDBC: Why don’t you?!

CDGC: Why don’t you?!

Craw-Daddy: Hello?

CDBC: Why don’t you?!

CDGC: Why don’t you?!

CDBC: Why don’t you?!

CDGC: Why don’t you?!

Craw-Daddy: SHUT UP WITH THAT!!!

CDBC and CDGC: …

Craw-Daddy: I really don’t need this, okay?! So knock it off already!

CDBC: Aw c’mon! Besides, Krubba’s not here, so you can do whatever you want with that fool!

Craw-Daddy: … Hey, that’s right… He is so dead!

CDGC: Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

CDGC disappears.

CDBC: Make me proud!

CDBC disappears.


Jack is walking through the train. He walks through the door to the next car. He sees the Boomerang Bro in the corner, calling someone on his cell phone.

Boomerang Bro: Hey. I’m on the train.

Guy the Boomerang Bro is talking to: Good! Remember what to do when you get to Riverside.

Boomerang Bro: Got it! Catch ya later.

The Boomerang Bro hangs up. Jack walks back to the next car.

Jack: Something’s fishy here… I’d better tell Craw-Daddy.

Uh oh…


Jack is walking back to his and Craw-Daddy’s room. He opens the door and walks in.

Jack: Um… Craw? ... CD? ... Where are ya?

Craw-Daddy (behind the door): Right here!

Craw-Daddy slams the door shut and charges at Jack from behind, spear first! Craw-Daddy’s spear hits Jack’s shell and breaks in half.

Craw-Daddy: O_o

Jack turns around.

Jack: … Craw-Daddy… Something tells me you’re tryin’ to kill me again…

Craw-Daddy: Um… So what if I AM?

Jack: Grrrr!

Jack throws nine hammers at Craw-Daddy, throws him into the wall, and knocks his head against the wall repeatedly.

Craw-Daddy: Owie!

Jack: You know… you’re lucky I’m nice enough to get you an ice pack.

Jack walks away to get an ice pack. Craw-Daddy is still sitting against the wall. CDGC appears on his beak.

CDGC: I hate to say I told you so.

Craw-Daddy: Then don’t… *groan*

CDBC appears next to CDGC.

CDBC: Oh well, no worries, Craw, we’ll think of something else.

Craw-Daddy: No way! It was YOUR ideas that got my spear broken and me beaten up!

CDGC: Look. Just simply help Jack find Gonzales Junior without further incident, and once you two get Junior back, you can return to the Glitz Pit and everything’ll be back the way it was. Is that so hard to do?

Craw-Daddy: … Now that you mention it… maybe not…

CDGC: Good! I’m sure you’ll manage just fine.

CDGC disappears.

CDBC: Phew! I thought he’d never leave!

Craw-Daddy: RRRRR!

CDBC: (sweating): Uh… Hehe… All right, I’ll go…

CDBC disappears.

Craw-Daddy: *sigh*

Jack comes back in with an ice pack. He gives it to Craw-Daddy, who puts it on his head.

Jack: Earlier I was gonna tell you that we should keep an eye on the Boomerang Bro. He was talking to someone on his cell phone. I dunno know who, but still…

Craw-Daddy: I get your point…

Jack: O_o  … That’s about the first time you ever agreed with me without sarcasm or name calling… Oh well…

Unknown to Jack and Craw-Daddy, the Boomerang Br. is just outside the door after hearing every word being said. He gets out his cell phone and calls the guy from earlier.

Guy the Boomerang Bro is talking to: What is it?

Boomerang Bro: Those two are on to me…

GTBBITT: Well, just try not to do anything that’ll make you look suspicious…

Boomerang Bro: Okay…

The Boomerang Bro hangs up and walks away.


It’s nighttime in Poshley Heights. Inside the museum, the Boom Booms and someone else are waiting, with Gonzales Junior tied up and gagged in the corner.

Bling Bling: It’s been one day. Ya think that Jack guy’ll make it?

Someone Else: Not sure, but if he does, then good… It’ll make this whole thing more fun… Hehehe!


Someone Else: SHUT UP, YOU!!!

Back on the train…

Jack: Well, that’s one day down... but that’s okay… If the train isn’t delayed, we should get to Poshley Heights a day early.

Craw-Daddy: I hope so… After all, it’s a question of life or death… for Junior…

Jack: Mm-hmm… Well, let’s turn in. We’ll see what that Boomerang Bro’s up to tomorrow…

Jack climbs onto the bed, while Craw-Daddy climbs onto the top bunk. Jack closes his eyes, as does Craw-Daddy. Before Craw-Daddy can fall asleep, CDGC appears. Craw-Daddy sits up. CDGC lands on his beak.

CDGC: Well now… you seem a little calmer towards Jack.

Craw-Daddy: Well I still don’t like him much, but I’m beginning to think I should cooperate with him for now.

CDGC: I’m proud of you. Keep it up…

CDGC disappears. Craw-Daddy lies back and falls asleep.

One day has passed. Jack and Craw-Daddy have three more days to get to Poshley Heights. Will they get there in time to save Junior? Is Craw-Daddy really beginning to cooperate with Jack? What is that Boomerang Bro up to? We’ll see in PART 3!!!

Read on!

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