Four Days ‘til Death

By Blaze Koopa

A note from the author: You remember Gonzales Junior, right? You remember Jack Hammer, right? You remember the tremendous fight between the two, right? Well, if you don’t, then I order you to read “Gonzales Junior Meets Jack Hammer”, or this story will make no sense!


Ever since teaming up, the duo of Gonzales Junior and Jack Hammer had been the toughest fighters in the Glitz Pit. Jack Hammer had even earned a little respect from other fighters outside of battle. Some in particular were the Koopinator, the KP Koopas, and Hamma, Bamma, and Flare, who nicknamed him “Slamma”. In fact, Jack even got some respect from Rawk Hawk.

On the other hand, no matter how many times Jack beat them up with Junior, there were others who simply hated Jack. One in particular was Craw-Daddy. In fact, Craw-Daddy had almost no friends in the Glitz Pit. Craw-Daddy didn’t care. He hated them all back, but especially Jack. Soon, however, strange things involving him and Jack were to come up…


Jack (minus one helmet) is rummaging through his locker.

Jack: Come on! Come on! Where is it?!

Flare walks up to him.

Flare: Hey Slamma! ... Where’s your helmet?

Jack: That’s exactly what I’d like to know! Ugh! I know I had that thing on last night! I’ve been lookin’ for it since this morning!

Flare: Ya think someone stole it?

Jack: Maybe! I don’t know what to think…

Gonzales Junior runs up to them.

Gonzales Junior: Jack! C’mon, dude! We got ourselves a fight with that bird brain we call Craw-Daddy in a few minutes.

Jack: Okay! I’m comin’! I guess I’ll try to find that helmet later…


The KO’ers are rushing into the arena. Krubba and Craw-Daddy are already there. Craw-Daddy is tapping his foot.

Craw-Daddy: What kept you?

Jack: Oh shut up! You’re lucky you never use a helmet. I guess they get lost easily. But then YOU’D still need one for that soft head of yours!

Crowd: Oooooooooooooooo!!!

Craw-Daddy: Rrrr! FOOL!!! I am SO gonna make sure my trusty spear takes a one-way trip to the middle of your head!

Krubba: Oooh! This could get interesting… Get ready to… BAAAAATTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!

*GONG*. Craw-Daddy charges at them, spear first. Jack jumps forward and throws five hammers, two of which hit Craw-Daddy in the beak. Craw-Daddy staggers, and is then hit head on by Junior. Craw-Daddy flies backwards. He recovers and pole-vaults on his spear and kicks Junior in the face. Junior covers his face. Craw-Daddy is suddenly hit in the stomach by Jack’s metal fist.


Craw-Daddy struggles to catch his breath, which he finally does. He gives Jack a mean look, then suddenly charges at him, slamming into his stomach. Jack falls backwards  onto his shell. Craw-Daddy stands over him.

Jack: Ugh! Great! I can’t get up! *groan*

Craw-Daddy: Just as I said before, my trusty spear is gonna take a one-way trip to the middle of your head.

Jack: … I never thought you’d take that attitude to the arena. No wonder no one likes you… *groan*

Craw-Daddy holds his spear up.

Crowd: *GASP*

Jack: (Has he flipped?!)

Suddenly, Craw-Daddy is headbutt in the back by Junior, who has finally recovered from getting hit in the face earlier. Junior stumbles, his hands on his head. Craw-Daddy’s back felt hard for some reason. Craw-Daddy lurches forward from the hit and falls on Jack’s belly, dropping his spear next to them. A blue object pops out of Craw-Daddy’s vest and lands near Junior’s feet.

Junior: (hand on head) … Hey! That’s your helmet, Jack!

Jack: … My helmet?

Jack throws Craw-Daddy off his stomach and looks at his helmet. Then he gives Craw-Daddy an angry look.

Jack: YOU!!! You stole my helmet!

Craw-Daddy: Uh… I can explain…

Jack: No need! I think I know what’s going on! You tried to make sure my head was exposed so you really COULD give your spear a one-way trip to my head!

Craw-Daddy: Um…

Junior: Shut up! That’s a DQ… isn’t it?

Krubba walks onto the stage.

Krubba: Yes. That’s a definite DQ. GONZALES JUNIOR AND JACK HAMMER HAVE WON!!!

The crowd cheers. Jack angrily snatches his helmet from the floor.

Jack: I’ll take that!

Craw-Daddy: Crud!

Krubba: Craw-Daddy, come to see me later, would ya? I want to have a word with you!


Craw-Daddy is having a long talk with Krubba in his office.

Krubba: Look! I don’t run a killing spree around here! I’m giving you one more chance! Try something like that one more time and I’ll have you banned from the Glitz Pit! GOT IT?!

Craw-Daddy: Yeah! Yeah! Whatever! Won’t happen again…

Krubba: Why is it that I don’t quite believe you? ... Oh well, now get outta here! And remember, I’ll be watching you!

Craw-Daddy angrily walks out of the office, mumbling something as he closes the door.

Krubba: That Craw is strange…


Jack, now reunited with his helmet, is talking with King K in a locker room.

King K: And he tried to kill you?!

Jack: Yep… He always seems to have that kind of an attitude outside of battle, but this is the first time he ever took that attitude to the arena. I know he hates me pretty bad, but I didn’t think THAT bad…

King K: He’s tried things like that many times before.

Jack: Really?

King K: Yep… but you wouldn’t know how many. This was back when Grubba managed the Glitz Pit.

Jack: … Who’s Grubba?!

King K: A blue Clubba. He was secretly trying to do some evil scheme. I found that out the hard way…

Jack: Ooh…

King K looks up at the clock. It is 2:30.

King K: Whoops! Sorry, gotta go. We've got a fight with the Iron Clefts.

Jack: … Iron Clefts? Well good luck…

King K runs off to round up his two partners.


Craw-Daddy is walking through the halls. He is so angry. He really wants to get Jack out of the way, but there is no way he can do so now, not with Krubba onto him.

Craw-Daddy: (Ugh! So close! I had him dead, and then that stupid Yoshi just had to hit me from behind!)

Suddenly, his thoughts are broken up by an angry voice.

Voice: Hey! Craw!

Craw-Daddy whips around to see the Koopinator, staring angrily at him.

Koopinator: I heard that you almost killed Jack earlier!

Craw-Daddy: Err…

Koopinator: And in front of the whole crowd too! What’s your problem?!

Craw-Daddy: This is none of your business, you fool!

Koopinator: Krubba should kick you out!

Koopinator walks off. Craw-Daddy groans.

Craw-Daddy: Grrr!


Jack is waiting outside the arena. The door opens. The KP Koopas walk out, badly bruised.

Jack: … Somehow I knew you guys would get beaten up bad.

KP Paratroopa: Yeah… Those stoneheads are annoying.

King K: You ain’t kidding…

Jack: I think you guys might need a few bandages…

Voice: Hey youse!

Jack and the KPs turn to see a red-shelled Boom Boom walking towards them with a sinister look.

Jack: … Who are you?!

Boom Boom: Who cares!? I just wanted youse ta know dat youse guys'll be dead meat by da time we’re through wit youse. So git ready, losers! We’re waitin’ for you!

King K: We?!

Boom Boom: Yeah! Me and ma’ bruda! Hehehe!

The Boom Boom walks away laughing, leaving Jack and the KP Koopas confused.

KP Koopa: Who WAS that guy?

Jack: Hmm...


Gonzales Junior is walking through the hallways. Suddenly, he sees a blue-shelled Boom Boomcp,omg towards him.

Boom Boom: Aha! So YOU’RE the “famous” Great Gonzales Junior I’ve been hearing so much about!

Junior: Um… Yeah… That’s me…

Boom Boom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That’s funny! You’re just a kid!

Junior: Shut up!

Boom Boom: HA! I could squash you like a bug!

Junior: Don’t get too cocky! My partner and I are tougher than you think!

Boom Boom: We’ll see about THAT!!!

Craw-Daddy walks up to them.

Craw-Daddy: What’s going on here?!

Junior: Oh… Hey dodo brain!

Craw-Daddy: DON’T GO THERE!!!

Boom Boom: Yeesh! This place is a big mess. Now I got an ant-sized reptile and a bug-eyed bird!


Boom Boom: You think you’re so tough! How about a fight?! You against us! At 5:00!

Craw-Daddy: Okay! You got yourselves a… Wait… Us?!

Boom Boom: Yeah! My brother fights alongside me!

Craw-Daddy: … Oh… Oh well, you got yourselves a fight!

Boom Boom: Okay, but I must warn you, you will be severely pummeled! (to Junior) We’ll take care of YOU and whoever your partner is later! In fact, we’re gonna make YOU disappear!

Junior: … I don’t know what kind of action phrase THAT was supposed to be… but whatever!

Boom Boom: GOOD!!! Hehehe!

The Boom Boom walks away.

Junior: (… He’s obviously new to the Glitz Pit.)

Jack walks up to him.

Jack: I’m assuming that’s the other Boom Boom’s “bruda”.

Junior: Yeah… Who was that guy anyway?

Jack: Dunno… Maybe Krubba knows…

Junior: Well let’s hurry up and ask him. We've got a fight with him and his “bruda” later…


Krubba is in his office looking at some paperwork. He suddenly hears a knock on the door.

Krubba: … Yeah, come in!

Junior and Jack walk in.

Krubba: Oh, hey! I wanted to tell you guys about a couple of new fighters, but I’ve been stuck behind the desk with all this paperwork…

Junior: S’okay. We know about the fighters, but what we wanna know is who they are.

Krubba: Oh… Well their names are Bling Bling and Bomb Bomb, but they call themselves… The Whompers.

Jack: The Whompers, huh? Hm… Well thanks. That’s all we wanted to know.

Krubba: Oh, no problem.

Jack and Junior turn to leave.

Junior: Oh, by the way, Craw-Daddy and those Whompers are gonna fight at 5:00.

Krubba looks up at the clock, which reads 4:57.

Krubba: Whoop! I got three minutes. See ya!

Krubba runs out of the office. Jack and Junior also leave the room.


Craw-Daddy and the Whompers are in the arena, about to fight.

Craw-Daddy: You fools! You’ll be sorry you ever messed with me!

Bling Bling: Yeah! You will!

Craw-Daddy: … Stupid reverse psychology!

Craw-Daddy looks over at Krubba, who gives him a look that says “I’m still watching you!” Craw-Daddy squirms slightly.

Krubba: Get yourselves ready to… BAAAATTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!

*GONG*. Craw-Daddy charges at the Boom Booms, but is easily grabbed by Bomb Bomb, who throws him off the battle stage and into a wall.

Craw-Daddy: Owie!

Krubba runs onto the battlestage.

Krubba: Craw-Daddy is off the stage! The Whompers have won!

Bling Bling: YES!!!

Bomb Bomb: BOO-YA!!!

The crowd cheers, while the dazed Craw-Daddy lies against the wall.


Gonzales Jr. and Jack are just outside the battle arena.

Junior: Whadaya think’s goin’ on in there?

Jack: *shrug*

The door opens. There stands Craw-Daddy, a bit dizzy from the hit.

Junior: O_o  THAT was a short battle… What happened?

Craw-Daddy: It’s none of your business!

Jack: Whatever happened, it serves you right!

Craw-Daddy: Oh shut up, you fool!

The Boom Booms walks out.

Bomb Bomb: You’re next, losers!

Junior: Already?! Okay, Jack, let’s make this quick…

Jack: Mm-hm…

Junior and Jack walk into the arena.


The KO’ers and the Whompers are taunting each other in the arena.

Jack: You’re messin’ with the wrong guys! Why don’t you just give up now?!

Junior: Yeah! Maybe we’d let you keep your shells!

Bling Bling: You wish!

Jack: All right! Have it your way!

Bling Bling whispers something in Bomb Bomb’s ear (if he has ears). Bomb Bomb snickers.



Bling Bling: NOW!!!

Bomb Bomb takes out six smoke bombs and throws them on the stage floor. Smoke fills the arena.

Jack: *cough cough cough cough cough cough*

Krubba: *cough cough cough cough cough cough*

Junior: *cough cough cough cough- MMMMMMMMPPHHHTTT!!!

Crowd: *cough 1000x*

The smoke clears. Jack is trying to catch his breath. He looks around. Junior is gone, and so are the Boom Booms.

Jack: Hey! *cough* What happened?! Where’s Junior? *cough* And where are the Whompers?

Krubba: *cough cough cough* I don’t know… but the Whompers are disqualified for using smoke bombs. You win…

Jack: Yeah, cool… Now what happened to Junior?


It’s nighttime. Jack has been looking around for Junior but can’t find him. He walks into the locker room. He sees a note taped to his locker.

Jack: What’s this? (reading letter) Dear Jack Hammerhead, we have taken your pal Gonzales Junior. Want to see him again before his demise? Then hurry up, ‘cause we’re taking him to Poshley Heights! You have four days to get there! Four days, and Junior’s dead meat! You can find us in the Poshley Heights museum.

Jack drops the note.

Jack: I can’t believe this!

Craw-Daddy walks into the locker room. He sees Jack looking down at the note on the floor.

Craw-Daddy: Hey. I heard Gonzales Junior disappeared in the smoke bombing.

Jack: Those Boom Booms kidnapped him. THAT’S what really happened.

Craw-Daddy: Well, too bad! That’s life!

Jack: Oh, you don’t know a thing about life!

Craw-Daddy picks up the note and reads it.

Craw-Daddy: Looks like you got only four days! Poshley Heights is a long way. But you’ll never beat those two on you own! They threw me into the wall easily, and they could do the same to YOU, but probably WORSE!!!

Jack: On my own?! Yeah right! Guess what? YOU’RE coming with me!

Craw-Daddy: WHAT?!

Jack: That’s right! You almost killed me earlier, and you’re gonna make up for it by helping me whether you like it or not! And if you DON’T help me, I’LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!!!

Craw-Daddy: Pfft! You couldn’t even break a matchstick!

Jack punches Craw-Daddy in the face with his metal fist.

Craw-Daddy: OW!!! *groan* You gotta do better than that!

Jack punches Craw-Daddy again, but harder.

Craw-Daddy: OWOWOWOWOWOW!!! Is… that all you… got?

Jack punches Craw-Daddy even harder.


Jack throws nine hammers at Craw-Daddy’s forehead, punches him in the face again, and throws him into the wall.

Craw-Daddy: … Ouch…


Craw-Daddy: NO!!! *sigh* Fine! You got me! I’ll help!

Jack: Good! Let’s go! We gotta see Boom Booms about a Yoshi!

Craw-Daddy: Whatever!

They leave the room and the Glitz Pit. Four days is all they have. Will they get Gonzales Junior back? Did Jack Hammer and Craw-Daddy really just team up? Will I stop asking stupid questions? We’ll see in PART 2!!!

Read on!

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