Chapter 2: The Test of the Fire Tribe
Our heroes arrive in a valley with lava at the bottom of it.
G.G: Looks like this is where the next temple is, at the bottom of this valley with all the lava.
Koopa 13: I hate lava places.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: I wonder if we have to climb down into the lava to find the place.
The owl suddenly lands on a branch conveniently next to them.
Koopa 13: What’s the advice you got to offer this time, you head-falling bird thingy?
Owl: Can’t you just say hello? We haven’t talked in a week since the last part was posted.
G.G: It’s only been a couple of hours.
Owl: No, it’s been a week. But anyway, in the bottom of this valley you will find the temple of fire, but you must be careful, for monsters lurk at the bottom of this valley as well.
G.G: And just how are we supposed to get down there?
The owl kicks them over the ledge and knocks them into the valley.
G.G: YOU CURSED OWL!
Koopa 13: Thanks for the kick, you violent owl!
Chompy: Bark bark.
Our three heroes walk through the lava cave, exploring the area.
Koopa 13: This place is making me sweat.
G.G: You’re telling me, Goombas are not meant to be in hot places.
Suddenly screaming can be heard.
Chompy: Huh?
G.G: What was that?
Koopa 13: The crying sound of a little baby means that we've got trouble on our hands.
The three heroes follow the sound of screaming and find an entire race of Lava Bubbles and Piranha Plants that have been enslaved by monsters. They are carrying giant blocks on their heads and running with carriages attached to them while the monsters hit them with whips.
Monster: Faster, faster, you filthy little peasants!
One of the Lava Bubbles falls down.
Monster: Hey! Get back to work!
G.G: Hold it!
As the monster is about to hit the Lava Bubble with his whip, G.G. grabs it and knocks the monster on his back, attracting the attention of the other monsters.
Monster: Who in the world are you?
G.G: Your worst nightmare.
Koopa 13: We fight for good-
Chompy: Fight off evil-
G.G: And look good doing it. We are…
The G.G. Crew does their poses.
G.G. Crew: THE G.G. CREW!
G.G: And don’t you forget it.
Monster: Why you little punks! Get them!
A few beatings later...
Monsters: RUN AWAY!
The monsters run away.
G.G: Later on, losers!
Koopa 13: Now to see what these former slaves have to say.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Our three heroes release the captives from their chains.
Lava Bubble 4: We are saved!
Lava Bubble 2: Thank you so much.
G.G: Whatever, you can count on us for anything. Now, do you freaks know anything about the fire temple?
All: *GASP*
G.G: What?
Koopa 13: What’s wrong? Surprised to see new people like us?
Piranha Plant: Blah blah blah blah.
Lava Bubble 3: I see. You must be the heroes we heard were here to find the seven mystic fruit.
G.G: Yup.
Piranha Plant: Blah blah blah blah.
Lava Bubble: Yes, we must take them to the blue flame.
Lava Bubbles: THE BLUE FLAME!
Koopa 13: May I ask what is that?
The Lava Bubbles pick up our three heroes and start to carry them away.
G.G: Hot hot hot! Hey, watch it!
Koopa 13: You guys are hot indeed.
Chompy: Ouch ouch!
The Lava Bubbles carry them up a hill and to a giant blue flame on a giant torch.
Lava Bubble: This is our leader, the blue flame.
G.G: This torch is your leader?
Koopa 13: Can it talk?
Suddenly the blue flame forms a face.
Blue Flame: Of course I can talk ,you inferior fools!
G.G. Crew: WOAH!
Blue Flame: Welcome, heroes. I thank you for saving my tribe from those monsters. They came here in order to find the fire temple that we have kept secret for so long. They tried to have my tribe find it for their leader, a Goomba with flame for hair. It is a good thing you came when you did, or else my tribe would have been doomed.
G.G: So where is the temple of fire?
Blue Flame: I'M GETTING TO THAT, YOU IMPATIENT FOOL! I have guarded the temple for many years; it lies underneath me, sealed away from evil; but before you can enter you must take a test.
G.G: A test?
Blue Flame: Even if you are the heroes, you must prove yourself worthy by taking the two tests of power and intelligence.
Koopa 13: Meh, piece of cake, right, guys?
G.G: Yeah!
Chompy: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, cake.
Blue Flame: First you must take the test of strength, behold!
Suddenly a gallon of milk appears.
G.G: First you must lift this GALLON OF MILK!
Lava Bubbles:Gasp!
Blue Flame: Beware, many in our my village have failed this test many times. It will take you months if not years to...
G.G. lifts it over his head with relative ease.
Blue Flame: What? You did it already? No way, that's... not possible.
G.G: Is that all you got?
Blue Flame: Bah, the test was too easy. The next one will be much harder. I the test of intelligence you must answer one question, and one question only.
They all lean in to listen.
Blue flame: WHAT… is my name?
The G.G. Crew form into a huddle, then emerge.
G.G: Just a guess but, Blue Flame?
Blue Flame: You're right. You truly are the heroes to deceipher that.
He moves backwards and reveals the entrance to the fire temple.
Koopa 13: So, looks like it was under you all long, wasn’t it?
G.G: All right, let’s do it.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Our three heroess enter the temple and stare at the flames that jump from the lava.
G.G: Be on your guard. If you fall into the lava you'll be toasted and put on a stick.
Koopa 13: EEK! Never gonna happen to me.
Our three heroes jump from platform to platform, knocking the monsters out of their way.
Koopa 13: These platforms are starting to heat up!
G.G: This is gonna be a piece of cake.
As they get to the other side, a giant fireball falls in front of them.
G.G: WOAH!
Koopa 13: MOVE IT!
Chompy: BARK BARK!
Our heroes dodge the fireballs that drop down on them, and jump into a cave.
G.G: Looks like we dodged a bullet, or to be frank, fireballs.
Koopa 13: Are you kidding me? I see rather a large scar on my shell.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: Yeah, don’t be a baby.
An arrow lit on fire hits G.G's hair and sets it on fire.
G.G: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Koopa 13: NO! DON’T PANIC!
Chompy: STOP DROP AND ROLL! STOP DROP AND ROLL!
G.G. rolls on the ground and puts it out.
G.G: Phew.
Koopa 13: What a relief.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: What is it, Chompy?
He points his head toward a group of goblins aiming bows and arrows at them.
G.G: Oh jeez.
Koopa 13: So these midgets are the one who shot that burning arrow at your hair.
Gobblins: DIE!
The goblins run at them but Chompy eats them whole without blinking.
Chompy: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
G.G: Nice job, my metal pet.
Our three heroes head into a room with a giant platform hanging over lava.
G.G: Look over there.
G.G. spots the golden banana.
Koopa 13: BANANA!
G.G: That must be one of the seven holy fruit.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: How do I know there are seven of them? Weird, I don’t know. But anyway, let’s take it before anyone spoils our fun.
Blazing Goomba: Too late.
Suddenly a Goomba with flaming hair comes from behind them.
Koopa 13: Burning Goomba?!
Blazing Goomba: That’s Blazing Goomba to you, of the Holy Nightmare.
G.G: Who are you guys anyway?
Blazing Goomba: We are the controllers of the monsters of this little Island here. We are here in order to transform this island into a nightmare land as our Master Mysterious wishes.
G.G: Let me guess, that’s the name of your leader, right?
Blazing Goomba: Yes.
Koopa 13: Surprise surprise.
Blazing Goomba: Now, for our own sake and for yours as well, give us the fruit.
G.G: NO!
Blazing Goomba: Very well then, prepare yourself.
Koopa 13: Bring it on, shortie.
G.G: I SAID STOP CALLING ME THAT!
Chompy: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Blazing Goomba shoots fireballs at them, but they duck and kick him upward. While he is being sent far Koopa 13 attempts to ram into him, but the Goomba shoots a fireball at him while in his shell and sets Koopa 13 on fire.
Koopa 13: It's awfully hot in here... AHH! I don’t know where I am going.
Koopa 13 crashes into the ground and sets G.G. and Chompy on fire.
G.G: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Chompy: Yipe yipe yipe yipe.
They run around in circles, set on fire.
Blazing Goomba: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
G.G: Somebody put it out!
Koopa 13: No one can help us now.
Chompy sprays a whole bunch of water out of his mouth, cooling off the other two and accidentally hitting Blazing Goomba.
Blazing Goomba: AHHH! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING! OH WHAT A WORLD!
Blazing Goomba turns into a puff of ash and falls apart.
G.G: That was easy.
Koopa 13: Where did you get that water?
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: You've eaten a bunch of hydrants in your life, I'm surprised your digestive track is not messed up by now. But anyway lets claim the fruit and get out of here.
As G.G. picks up the fruit, it glows in a white flash that covers the room.
Koopa 13: ???
???: A lake, in the depths of the lake you will find the sleeping temple.
When the flash clears, the three heroes appear in front of the blue flame.
Blue Flame: So you claimed the ancient fruit.
Koopa 13: Yep, in one peace.
Blue Flame: There are still five more out there left to claim. Be on your toes and come back to visit us anytime.
Lava Bubbles: Bye bye.
The three of them leave and return to the outside, where the owl waiting for them.
Owl: You are doing well so far.
G.G: This is a piece of cake, we'll be out of here and back at… ummm... What’s the name of that place we work at where we do the interviews?
Chompy: Hmmmm?
G.G: You don’t remember either. Koopa, you remember?
Koopa 13: No clue whatcha talking about, G.G.
G.G: Well it’s not important. For now we should head for the next temple.
Owl: Wait, it’s starting to get dark outside. You should head back to the Mystic Village for now and rest. Tomorrow you can head for the next temple. Rest well.
G.G: Well I guess you're right. Let's get back to the village.
As the three of them leave, Dark Boo appears in the sky.
Dark Boo: So they defeated Blazing Goomba, did they? These heroes might just be powerful enough to defeat Mysterious. Perhaps they might be more useful than I thought.
G.G. and the Crew return to Mystic Village and to Goombette’s house.
Goombette: Oh, you're back. Thank goodness, I thought something happened to you guys.
Koopa 13: No problem.
G.G: We just had to take care of some things.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Goombette: Well you came back just in time, my brother just finished making DINNER, toasted clams. Isn’t that right, Bro?
Koopley: Ya.
G.G: Well you can’t fight evil on an empty stomach. Let's eat up.
Koopa 13: Oh boy!
And so the three heros eat up to their hearts' contentm telling stories of their adventures but not knowing what evil awaits them...