Chapter 10: Galaxy Hopping
Purple rounded up Rufus and Yux in Nimbus Land after their escape from the airships that the Shroobs stole from Bowser. P.T. also finally escaped by blowing the ship up, freeing the violent monster and sending Toad Town into the unknown. Then Purple, Rufus, and Yux found Luigi, Fin, and P.T. But then Fiery Dino Piranha appeared, and got supped-up by the resurrected Dark Red, now Dark Red Bones. Will our anti heroes survive this encounter? Well to be honest, my money goes on Dark Red Bones and Dark Fiery Dino Piranha.
Yux, P.T., Fin, and Rufus are standing in Bean Valley. Dark Red Bones and Dark Fiery Dino Piranha are before them. Luigi is off in a puddle dousing fires-
Luigi: Actually, I finished during the break between chapters. I’m back now.
… Okay. Anyway, Purple is off to the side unconscious, too.
Dark Red Bones: I bet you thought you saw the last of me. Well you DIDN’T!
Fin: What do you want with us?!
Dark Red Bones: To finish what I started at the volcano!
Fin: Why’d you attack us then?
Dark Red Bones: Because part of me is that dark blob that kept following you around in earlier chapters!
Everyone but Rufus and Luigi: Gasp!
Dark Red Bones: And now I even have a pet! It’s time for you to-
The Mega Shell slides by and takes both of them with it.
Fin: That was close.
Purple wakes up.
Purple: Hey, what happened? And where’s my axe?
P.T.: Oh, that was stuck in Dark Fiery Dino Piranha’s tail.
Purple: Of course. Okay, so now what? Toad Town must be drifting through space, I have no axe, and two demonic hotheads are out to get us.
Yux: Boy was it a mistake teaming up with you. Anyway, how on Plit do we get into deep space?
P.T.: I know! There’s a rocket ship in the Space-
Yux: Been there, done that.
Fin: We could go find Halberd and fly it into space!
Purple: That was destroyed in the eruption, as was everyone onboard.
Luigi: I have an idea! I found this on eBay!
He pulls out a blue ? Block.
Luigi: I think it’s called the Infinite Block! It will give you anything or even turn into a ! Block!
Luigi punches it and out comes a Red Star. He absorbs it and becomes Flying Luigi! He flies off into space. Purple hits the Infinite Block and gets a Bee Mushroom.
Purple: How embarrassing! How am I going to keep flying?
Rufus hits it and gets a Boo Mushroom.
Rufus: Oookay…
P.T. hits it and gets a Spring Mushroom.
P.T.: Boing, boing, boing, boing-
And Fin gets a Wing Cap. But since he doesn’t wear a cap, the wings appear on his back.
Yux: Well that was weird. I think I’ll just float away by myself. I look weird enough, thank you!
Luigi: Strange, usually it gives you whatever you want. Batteries must be low.
Luigi flies off into space. Purple flies, but must rest on clouds. Rufus and Yux float up, Fin flies up, and P.T. bounces all the way up. After a long trip during which the company has to wait for Purple to rest up periodically, they make it to the Comet Observatory.
Luigi: Hi Rosalina! Do you know where Toad Town went?
Rosalina: No.
Luigi: What? But you’re basically ruler of space! And we just spent hours getting here! Don’t you know anything?
Rosalina: Well you can look inside the domes.
Luigi: Okey-dokey!
The company head into the Terrace.
Yux: There it is! I can see it out of the corner of my left eye!
Everyone turns to see nothing.
Yux: That’s what it would sound like if one of you finds it through your left eye!
Yux waves one of his points over his eye patch in a mocking fashion.
Everyone: …
(Cookies if anyone knows where that bit came from.)
P.T.: I found it!
Everyone looks to see a mini Lord Crump flying through space.
P.T.: Wait, never mind… Boing, boing, boing…
Rufus: Wait, there it is for real! It’s in the Loopdeloop Galaxy!
Purple activates the Launch Star and flies to the galaxy, as does everyone else. Shockingly, P.T. and Rufus don’t lose their power-ups like Mario or Luigi would’ve. In space…
WARNING! TOAD TOWN IN ORBIT!
A Star appears and a cursor moves over it.
“Surfing 101”
Purple: What?! What is this?!
Luigi: We have to pick a mission!
Purple: Mission?! I just want to get Toad Town back!
Luigi: Well the galaxy is treating it like a Prankster Comet!
Purple: What do I do?!
Luigi: Press A over the Star!
Purple does and a camera pans over the whole galaxy, showing Toad Town in the middle of the track. The characters appear at the beginning and Rufus turns back to normal due to sunlight.
Penguin: Look! There’s a floating island in the middle of the track!
Yux: That’s why we’re here.
Penguin: Shut up!
P.T.: Okay, I want to try to get Toad Town. Here goes nothing!
P.T. hops to the edge and does a super jump… aaaaand falls down into oblivion after making it only 2 feet from the edge.
Everyone Else: Oooh…
Suddenly a comet appears, and it’s headed straight for Toad Town! It knocks Toad Town out into the distance. In fact, it leaves the whole Terrace dome system! The comet crashes into the track and washes all the way to the start. It has an egg on it. It rolls off and knocks into a penguin, knocking it over the edge.
Penguin: BILLY!
The egg hatches. It’s Commander Shroob!
Commander Shroob: *^(*%^*#^$(
Purple: What’s that over there?
Commander Shroob turns and Purple stings him.
Commander Shroob: &(%^#$)&*(#)*^&)@&*%&@%(&)@!^$_@
He runs around in pain and accidentally goes over the edge.
Fin: Now how are we gonna find Toad Town?
Purple: I don’t know.
Meanwhile, P.T. is falling. He lands on the planet in the Flipswitch Galaxy on the spring, and with the added power of the Spring Mushroom, he launches all the way up to the Loopdeloop Galaxy.
Rufus: Weird.
Luigi: I know!
Luigi presses pause and decides to return to the Comet Observatory. There they search some domes until they find Toad Town drifting through the Melty Molten Galaxy. They try to fly there, but a Prankster Comet hits them on the way there and they land in the Deep Dark Galaxy.
Yux: What on Plit- or I guess whatever this planet is, just happened?!
Yux is then hit with a bubble and knocked into the wall around the shallow water, almost over the edge.
Fin: Dang it, and he was so close to falling over the edge!
Then Rufus is hit and is knocked clean into the wall. They turn to find Undergrunt Gunner in his cannon, shooting at the company.
Undergrunt Gunner: REVENGE!
Luigi: I knew joining you people would be bad.
Gunner hits Purple and he’s sent over the edge, and loses his suit.
Luigi: Ugh. I’ll go get him.
Gunner starts shooting at the remaining party members. P.T. notices a coconut.
P.T.: Hey! A coconut!
He hops over to it and bends over to take a bite, but he trips and bounces from the ground onto a tree, then off it and flies straight into the cannon barrel where the bubbles come out. The cannon’s backed up and it explodes! Gunner is sent flying and lands in the crater behind him, in the prison of the ghost ship. Inside…
Link: You’re not Tetra!
Gunner: Wrong ghost ship.
Outside…
Luigi: What’d I miss?
Rufus: Hey! It looks like we can use this cannon!
So they get in and blast off to the Melty Molten Galaxy. Or at least they try to until they get hit by a Speedy Comet on the way and land in the Dreadnought Galaxy.
Yux: WHY?!
They find themselves on Topmaniac’s throne platform.
Topmaniac: WAT R U D01N9 0|\| M ‘/ THR0|\|3? 1 W1LL PWN U 4 TH1S!
Fin: AAAAHHH!!! LEET OVERLOAD!
Rufus: Yux, please Randomize. And by please, I mean do it before I kill you.
Yux: Randomize!
He glows and stops.
Yux: The good news is…
Topmaniac explodes and the platform rockets through space and into the Snow Cap Galaxy, where Toad Town seems to have crashed into the main planet. They get off of the platform.
Bunny: Hi! This is our home! This town seems to have crashed into our planet!
Fin: Looks more like the planet crashed into Toad Town.
Bunny: Get this town away before we kill you!
Fin kicks the bunny off the planet.
Other Bunny: BILLY!
Yux: Uh oh, here’s the bad news.
The Mega Shell zooms through space and Dark Fiery Dino Piranha drops off.
Dark Fiery Dino Piranha: ROOOOARR!!!
P.T.: See what you do?! Boing.
Yux: …
Chapter 11: Return of the Shroobs
After going through some galaxies, our heroes finally found Toad Town! But how will they get it back? And what will they do now that Dark Fiery Dino Piranha stands before them? That’s what this chapter is for.
Dark Fiery Dino Piranha starts charging towards the group. Everyone gets out of the way. P.T. jumps up and lands on his head, knocking some petals loose. Then he gets madder! He knocks P.T. into one of the houses in Toad Town.
Toad Citizen: Get outta my house!
He kicks him out and he rolls off the edge and into a snowman on the planetoid. The monster starts running around, waving his tail. Purple notices his axe in the tail. Purple grabs it and starts getting dragged around.
Purple: Oh my.
Purple grabs onto a treasure chest, and since he’s holding onto the axe lodged in the monster’s tail, the tail eventually stretches out and the beast is going nowhere, until finally the axe starts slipping out and the tail goes flying into Dark Fiery Dino Piranha’s head, making him madder and getting rid of a few petals. He starts stomping around and spitting fire, setting some Toad Town houses on fire and melting some snow.
Rufus: Hai-ya!
He throws an egg with all his might at Dark Fiery Dino Piranha, but to no effect. In fact, he’s hit with a fireball.
Rufus: OWOWOWOWOW!!!
He runs around in pain through Toad Town and hops into a fountain.
Rufus: Yoshi!
Toad Kid: Mommy, why is that Yoshi in the fountain?
Toad Mom: Because there’s a scary monster on that planet that crashed into us.
Rufus: Actually, Toad Town crashed into the planet.
Toad Mom: Silence, nonbeliever!
On the planetoid, he’s running around like crazy. Luigi tries to spin into his tail, but he catches fire and runs into the fountain that Rufus is in. Suddenly, time runs out and he’s back as regular Luigi.
Rufus: I didn’t know the Red Star lasted that long!
Fin starts flying around and scoops up a snowball and throws it at Dark Fiery Dino Piranha’s tail. Then he’s hit by it and loses his power-up. P.T. bounces onto the scene, but then the spring slips off and Dark Fiery Dino Piranha turns around and the spring lands in his open mouth. He starts choking on it and Yux turns sideways and spins into his tail, delivering the final blow to Dark Fiery Dino Piranha. He then explodes and reverts back to regular Fiery Dino Piranha. He then faints. A Toad walks over from Toad Town.
Zookeeper: Ooh, that thing would work wonderfully in the zoo!
Purple: He’d kill you whenever he can.
Zookeeper: But he has a neat color scheme!
P.T. grabs him and throws him into deep space.
Zookeeper’s Wife: BILLY!
Rufus: How many Billy’s are there?!
Purple: And how do we get Toad Town back into its rightful place?
Fin: Duh!
Purple: Oh, right. Yux!
Yux: But it hasn’t been a full chapter! Eh, close enough. RANDOMIZE!
He glows and stops.
Yux: The good news is…
Toad Town disappears and reappears where it used to be. And on top of Gourmet Guy no less.
Yux: The bad news is not only are we stranded, but now…
Fiery Dino Piranha wakes up.
Fiery Dino Piranha: Roar!
The Mega Shell then swoops down, carrying the monster away.
Fin: That was convenient!
Yux: What? Oh, that’s not the bad news. That is.
Everyone turns to see a bunch of repaired airships headed towards them. One lowers. It’s Commander Shroob on his personal ship!
Commander Shroob: *(@#&%)@&#_&
P.T.: See what you do?!
Fin: I’m going to assume he said that he doesn’t know how everyone came back or how everything’s fixed, but now they’re going to kill us and take Toad Town all over again.
Purple: Not if we can help it!
Purple throws his axe at Commander Shroob, but a tongue reaches out of the Elder Princess Shroob head on the front and retracts, taking the axe with it.
Everyone: Ew.
Purple: How many times will I lose my axe?!
P.T.: Stop whining!
P.T. bashes the head with his Golden Hammer and it crumbles and releases the axe, which he throws to Purple, but it hits Yux.
Yux: Ow! That caused my top right point to partially split from the rest of me!
Fin: No one cares!
Commander turns his ship sideways and it starts shooting cannonballs at the heroes. Luigi high jumps and stomps down on Commander, and grabs his mustache and swings him over his shoulder, slamming him on the ground and ripping his mustache off.
Commander Shroob: )#*!^&*@#&@*(%&)*# &r)#@ &$_*@#&%&@#&_&%_@#&%_(@#&%_@#&%_*#&_%(&_!&_@&%_*&@_&%_@!
Rufus: Good thing that was a different language.
Rufus then throws an egg Luigi.
Rufus: Whoops, my aim was off.
Commander Shroob gets up and starts clawing at Luigi. Purple leaps and knocks the alien over the edge with his axe. He turns and sees all his friends and Yux surrounded by Shroobs with laser guns on the planetoid.
Yux: Hey!
Fin: This is madness!
Shroob: THIS. IS. SNOW CAP!
While he talks, the Shroob spits on Fin’s mask-face.
Fin: Ew. Wait, how is he speaking our language?
Shroob: @*(%#)^@)@^)%^)*@^)^ (He speaks their language!)
The Shroob then kicks the English-speaking Shroob into a hole in the ground on one end of the planetoid.
Luigi: What’s with all the 300 references?
P.T.: Correction: Meet The Spartans references. Like that guy over there.
The “camera” pans over to a giant robot approaching them.
Robot: BOW DOWN TO ME, SPARTAAAAAAA!!!
The robot explodes and Commander Shroob (with a magic marker mustache) comes floating up, on top of a saucer.
Commander Shroob: *@!&%*(_)^#@
The Shroobs start shooting, but Rufus grabs Yux and uses him as a shield. Some shots of Rufus deflecting lasers with Yux are seen in slow motion. When all lasers are deflected, Rufus finishes by rat-tailing one Shroob, using Yux instead of a towel.
Commander Shroob: …
He then blows his whistle. Suddenly a penguin slides up to the group on its belly and starts dancing.
Fin: Hey, he’s got happy feet!
Luigi: Ha! I can do better!
Luigi waits for the penguin to stop dancing, and then starts dancing himself. The penguin then starts dancing some more, then Luigi starts while the penguin’s still dancing. Eventually Luigi stops dancing and Thunderhands the penguin.
Luigi: You got served!
Penguin: … That’s it, I’m gonna use my “happy” feet to kick your butts!
The penguin leaps and roundhouse kicks Luigi, then punches him with his fin into the pit.
Rufus: Luigi!
Rufus flutterjumps to the penguin, kicking his face many times. But in mid-flutter, the penguin grabs Rufus’s feet and slams him on the ground, then pecks his big nose. He then does a pile-driver on Rufus. He then reaches behind him and grabs Fin, because he sensed his presence (pick pocketing). He then spins and throws Fin into the pit.
Purple: This is madness! You’re all getting owned! By a penguin! You’re pathetic!
Purple jumps down and slashes the penguin with his axe. It’s revealed that it was just a penguin suit, and inside it was Dane Cook!
Dane Cook: You know, when I was a little kid there was this one commercial that always scared me. It was those Kool-Aid commercials! These kids would be-
Purple kicks Dane Cook into the pit. Luigi then high jumps out of the pit, with Fin on him piggyback style.
Luigi: Get off me!
Fin: Can’t you wait until I’m done taking your wallet? Er, I mean-
Luigi throws him off his back. The main airship approaches the planet, and Elder Princess Shroob (with 4 guardian Shroobs) approaches.
Elder Princess Shroob: YOU FIGHT WELL, BEING ABLE TO DEFEAT A PORTION OF MY ARMY AND TWO OF MY TOP FIGHTERS. BUT HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?!
Elder steps aside, and a figure rides down the wooden ramp from the ship to the planet on a motorbike.
Rufus: Ghost Rider!
Ghost Rider gets off his bike and whips his flaming chain. It wraps around P.T.’s right arm.
P.T.:… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Ghost Rider brings it back, then swings his chain around with P.T. still on it and slams it down on Yux.
Yux: Owie.
P.T.: My arm still hurts.
Purple hacks at the chain, but it’s too strong.
Purple: Yux! Randomize!
Yux: I already did that once this chapter and it caused these guys to appear!
Rufus: Shut up, Yux.
Fin steals from Luigi’s pocket and pulls out a Pocket Chomp! He opens it and a Chain Chomp comes. It heads straight for Ghost Rider!
Ghost Rider: Why me…?
The Chain Chomp takes all the bones and buries them in the snow, leaving the head, which Luigi nonchalantly kicks off the planet.
Elder: IMPRESSIVE… BUT TRY STOPPING US FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!
Elder opens up a wormhole, but the hole only opens for all of 2 seconds.
Elder: WOW, MAYBE I SHOULDN’T HAVE TRADED MY ABILITY TO DO THAT FOR BUBBLE SOAP!
Purple: Time for…
EVERYONE: RPG BATTLE!
BOSS BATTLE!
Purple: 70/70
Luigi: 65/65
Rufus: 70/70
Vs.
Elder: 70/70
Purple uses “Axe”.
5 damage!
Luigi uses “Thunderhand”.
1 Damage!
Rufus uses “Gulp”!
Elder is eaten and spit out into deep space!
Purple’s team
wins!
Battle over!
Yux: That was cheap.
Fin: Guys?
Purple: Wha- Oh my.
Purple and the others notice the airships heading back for Plit.
Princess Shroob: *(@&^)@#^@#&)@&%)*@&%)*&@_*!_
Purple: Here we
go again.
Chapter 12: Shadow Noah Island
The heroes and Yux defeated Dark Fiery Dino Piranha and made many Meet The Spartans references as they defeated the Shroobs again. But the Shroobs weren’t completely done for, as they’re on their way back to Plit to recapture Toad Town. Will they get their town and eat it too? Wait, why would they eat a town…?
Suddenly, Purple wakes up in a metal room.
Purple: What’s going on?
Rufus: Oh, a meteor knocked us out but then it turned out to be a ship full of people looking for people to throw in this prison for no real reason. The author thought he’d save time and skip to us being held in here.
Yux: Lame.
Rufus: Shut up, Yux.
Purple: Where are we?
Rufus: Someone said the name, “Shadow Noah Island”.
Purple: Are we all separated like in Chapter 9?
Luigi: No, we’re all here, unfortunately.
A Koopatrol walks by the cell.
Purple: What is this place?
Koopatrol: I can’t tell you that! I can only tell you my name, vim type, and position! I am Spiky Tim, Vim Type: B Positive, Position: Guarding the cell blocks of people who are going to be used to power the Metal Gizmo so we can defeat the Shroobs and takeover Plit ourselves! … Wow, my position has a lot of information in it.
Fin: Is there anything you didn’t tell us?
Spiky Tim: Well I like long walks on the beach-
Fin: Shut up.
Meanwhile…
Koopatrol: Sir, I think we finally have enough prisoners to charge the Metal Gizmo.
“Sir”: Good… He shall be avenged! And our enemies will be defeated at the same time!
Meanwhile…
P.T.: Mommy, what’s a Metal Gizmo?
Spiky Tim: I’m not permitted to tell you that!
He leaves.
Luigi: Oh no! We’ve gotta get out of here!
Fin: We’ll need this!
P.T.: What is it?
Fin: Oh this is just a text story, huh? Sorry let me try again. Anyway, we’ll need… THIS!
P.T.: Ooh, 3D!
Fin unlocks the cell door and they’re free!
Purple: Where’d the key come from?
Fin: I stole it.
Purple: Of course.
They walk down the hall, but-
Egg in a cell: Take me with you!
P.T.: Are you serious?
Egg: I can fight!
Rufus throws an egg at the egg, but it knocks the egg over and it breaks.
Purple: Oooohhh…
Rufus: If he can’t fight, he can’t be important to anyone.
They continue down a hall and pass by a window.
Fin: What’s in there?
Purple: Don’t get distracted, you might get caught.
Fin: But it looks important!
Purple: Fin!
Fin: Fine!
He keeps following. What he saw was a giant, bronze, robotic Rex! They soon reach a room with conveyer belts.
Luigi: Wha? They’re making… MACHINE MA-
Purple covers Luigi’s mouth and everyone hides behind some boxes as the assembly line workers turn. They see nothing and go back to work. The heroes then come out of hiding.
Yux: Do you want us to get caught?!
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
Luigi: Why are they making Machine Mades of Petey Piranha, a Love Bubble, Sonic the Hedgehog, a black blob, and some guy that looks like a mix between Hamburglar and me?
P.T.: You mean Mr. L.
Luigi: Mr. Who?
P.T.: No, that’s Doctor Who. We’re talking about Mr. L, who would be you.
Luigi: You dirty liah!
Everyone, surprisingly including P.T.: …
Luigi: What?
Fin: Either these guys are obsessed with the earlier parts of the story and at the same time obsessed with SMRPG, or there were more people in the Subspace Army than we know. Or some other thing I don’t know about.
Suddenly a spotlight exposes the heroes and !’s appear over all their heads.
Yux: We’ve been found out!
Rufus: Shut up, Yux.
The Machine Mades then start marching towards the heroes.
Purple: All right, if we’re gonna get out of here, we’re gonna have to fight our way through.
Luigi: Okay. Remember this day, men. FOR THIS IS THE DAY WE DIE!
Everyone Else: WHAT?!
Luigi: Er, I meant this is the day our foes die, sorry.
Everyone Else: …
(Cue: “Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting”)
Everyone starts charging towards the Machine Made Subspace Army Commanders. P.T. is suddenly tackled by all the Machine Made Mr. L’s. Purple knocks away all the Machine Made Bubbles, but then gets eaten by a Machine Made Petey. The Machine Made Sonics start running everyone but Yux over, until some Machine Made Agent Darks transform into clones of Mario, which start jumping on Yux. Purple manages to free himself from the Machine Made Petey.
Purple: Yux, Randomize!
Yux: Fine. RANDOMI- Ow! RANDOMIZE!
He glows and stops.
Yux: The good news is-
All the Machine Mades explode.
P.T.: Wow! You know, this is almost as exciting as that time I helped the Trix Rabbit!
FLASHBACK!
P.T. and the Trix Rabbit ride by on a tandem bike and take Trix (part of a good breakfast) from a breakfast table. They then hide behind a bush. The Trix Rabbit starts going on about how he got the Trix, and all the different flavors.
P.T.: Woo, that was fun! Now let’s eat the Trix!
Rabbit: -Grapedy Grape, Orangey Orange-
P.T.: Yeah, I know the flavors, now come on! Before they make us give it back!
Rabbit: -I got the Trix! Finally! I got them! The Trix! They’re mine now-
P.T.: OKAY! NOW ARE WE GONNA EAT THE TRIX OR ARE YOU GONNA KEEP PATTING YOURSELF ON THE BACK?!
Rabbit: Lemoney Yellow, Grapedy Grape-
P.T. punches the Rabbit and takes the Trix for himself. Later he’s seen eating them out of a bowl, driving to somewhere. I would assume his house.
P.T.: No wonder he never gets to eat any.
Flashback over!
Yux: … Okay, and the bad news is-
Voice: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Everyone turns to find-
Rufus: Who are you?
Person: I am…
Fin: Did you forget?
Person: No, I was pausing for dramatic effect! Now it’s ruined! I am… GRUBBA!
Everyone: Grubba?!
Grubba: Yes, me! Is it that hard to believe?! And I’m gonna get revenge on you for what you did to the Ancient Minister back in Chapter… was it 5 or 6?
Purple: Either way, Dark Red killed him, not us!
Grubba: You were gonna do that anyway, though!
Purple: True…
Grubba: And if you somehow manage to beat me, you’ll never beat the rest of us!
Fin: “Us?”
Grubba: Yes, we are… THE BOWLING TEAM OF DOOM!
Announcer: Yes, the Bowling Team Of Doom! These five fellows are all trying to takeover the world and/or destroy it! And they’re also a capable bowling team! They are: The Ancient Minister…
Ancient Minister: (is dead)
Announcer: Grubba…
Grubba: Hi! You already know me!
Announcer: And the last 3 are a secret!
Rufus: I hate this island.