Chapter 20: Less than 6 but more than 4 years gone
(Note: This chapter takes place 5 years from now so everyone will be referred to as their future selves, save for the current-day Yoshi and Kamek. Some plothole will allow P.T. and Kool to appear most likely so they’ll be from the past, too.)
In Vincent’s old studio, there’s a repeat of the scene where Yoshi and Kamek enter, followed by Future Yoshi.
Future Yoshi: You shouldn’t be here! None of this should have happened!
Kamek: What happened to the city?
Future Yoshi tries to open a window but struggles. Kamek walks over and removes the latch.
Future Yoshi: Uh, I knew that!
He opens the window to show a destroyed town with the chapter title shown.
Future Yoshi: It still blew up! I thought I could stop it and had it all taken care of, but then-!!!
Yoshi: Aww, why am I upset? Or why will I be?
Future Yoshi: Knock that off right now! You’ll refer to me as if I’m a separate person to avoid confusion. Now say that to Kamek instead of me like the script intended!
Yoshi: (whispering) Kamek, future me is upset.
Kamek: (whispering) Then talk to him.
Yoshi: (whispering) He scar-y.
Kamek: (whispering) “Scary.” (out loud) Future Yoshi, what is this web?
Future Yoshi: A map of events leading to the explosion. I made it so I could figure out the exact moment to go back and change the future. I finally found it. It was Bootober fourth, 2006. I met Dimentio Nolastname and told him to Save the Transforming Spider Thingy-
Yoshi: -Save the world!
Future Yoshi: Yes! But did he do it?
Yoshi: Yes.
Future Yoshi: So King Boo never killed her and took her power. But did you kill King Boo?
Yoshi: Uh, funny stork about that-
Kamek: “Story”! Funny STORY about that! How could you mess that one up?!
Future Yoshi: I’ll take it as a no. Go back and kill him on the day of the explosion! I egged him but he healed himself due to Mimi’s power, so I went back to tell Dimentio-
Yoshi: Okay. But I can’t control powers!
Suddenly a bunch of cops burst in.
Future Police Chief DK: Freeze! Put your right foot in.
Yoshi, Kamek, and Future Yoshi do so.
FPCDK: Now put your right foot out.
They do.
FPCDK: Now put your right foot in and shake it all about-
Kamek: Just arrest us already!
FPCDK: Fine, killjoy. Put your hands on your head!
Future Yoshi and Kamek run off, but when Yoshi tries to follow, Future Bogmire grabs him. Future Toad walks in.
Kool-Aid Man: Oh no!
Future Toad: … How come you’re not your future version?
P.T.: Oh, Kool and I secretly grabbed Yoshi’s shoulder when he wasn’t looking when he warped.
Future Toad: I see. Anyway, go after his friends. I want to take Yoshi in personally.
P.T.: What?! I never get the personal tour! This stinks!
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah!
Future Toad: That’s not what I meant!
In an alley, Future Yoshi and Kamek are catching their breath.
Future Yoshi: That was homeland security. They’ll be taking him to a special facility uptown. But first they’ll stop for a light lunch at Subway. That’s where they take all the terrorists.
Kamek: Subway?
Future Yoshi: No, the facility! Get past me back to go back in time and kill King Boo!
Kamek: Okay, then use your powers to help!
Future Yoshi: No, The Shadow has a way of blocking my powers. We’ll need someone’s help… Dimentio Nolastname. Let’s go to Gritzy Desert!
At some point, the two enter a Comedy Club.
Announcer: Next is… ELDER PRINCESS SHROOB!
Actually it’s just the younger sister. She starts telling jokes.
Kamek: I see her jokes are still lame.
After a joke involving a chicken, Future Yoshi throws an egg at Future Princess Shroob. Later, they’re in a back room.
Kamek: Hi, Princess Shroob! Remember me?
Future Princess Shroob: This is how you’re wasting my time?!
Future Yoshi: Where is Dimentio? It’s about stopping King Boo.
Future Princess Shroob grabs Future Yoshi’s throat with her claw.
Future Princess Shroob: NEVER MENTION THAT NAME!
She releases and goes away.
Future Yoshi: Wait, where’s Gadd?
Future Princess Shroob: Rustling cattle in Diamond City.
She goes to Podley’s portion of the club, and sits in a spinning chair. P.T. is next to her, spinning around.
P.T.: Wheeeee!!! Say, have you seen my friend? The Kool-Aid Man?
Future Princess Shroob: No. Leave.
P.T. uproots the chair and takes it with him to spin on later. Podley gives her a Chuckola Cola and a second one, which is grabbed by an invisible force that pokes a hole in the glass and causes soda to spill out.
???: D’oh!
Future Dimentio materializes! He looks older and less hopeful. The square on the rightmost tip of his hat has been ripped off and he has a hook where his right hand was. Plus he just looks torn up in general, and his clothes are in darker shades of yellow and purple.
Future Princess Shroob: Maybe if you took the hook off and used your hand like a normal person-
Future Dimentio: But that’s not fun! … So what did Yoshi want?
Future Princess Shroob: To stop the exploding guy.
Podley turns on the mini TV and it’s footage of the explosion.
Future Dimentio: Ironic… So your son died, right?
Future Princess Shroob: Don’t bring that up, I’m letting it go!
Future Dimentio: Fine, I’ll make up for it by showing off.
He uses The Force to unplug the TV.
Future Princess Shroob: I was watching that! Say, this Chuckola Cola seems different.
Podley: Oh, tonight it’s Kool-Aid. I found this living jug of it and enslaved him!
Meanwhile, Future Toad is interrogating Yoshi, who has Future Bogmire behind him.
Yoshi: You make mistake!
Future Toad: Ahem. “The Yoshi. Born to Aquashi and Yelloshi*. Can teleport and stop time. Prison breaks. Attacks against Mushroom Kingdom interests.” Nah, I don’t see a mistake.
(*Like Aquashi is pronounced “Uh-quashi”, Yelloshi is pronounced “Yeh-loshi”.)
Yoshi: PRISON BREAKS?! I do not remember!
Future Toad tries to read his mind. There is no memory of said events.
Future Toad: How could you not remember that?!
Yoshi: Because you crazy! I do no thing like that!
Future Toad: “Nothing” you mean? … Ugh, it’s people like you, King Boo, and Opera that make us live in fear, make us choose sides, and tear families apart.
Yoshi: I would not tear families!
Future Toad tries to read his mind.
Yoshi: (I just want to be hero! And a cookie.)
Future Toad: Uhhhh…
He goes to a back room and dials a number on his cell phone.
Future Toad: Yeah, we got him.
On the other end…
King Bleck: On the eve of the anniversary? And he slips up today? What are they up to?
(With the “King” moniker, I shouldn’t have to tell you that he’s his future version.)
Future Toad (on the other end): He doesn’t seem to remember the last five years.
King Bleck: Well get him to stop tricking you or you’ll be replaced! Like that stupid, stupid show on Disney Channel!
Future Toad (on the other end): Gaaah! Bad enough I lose a job, but to make a reference to that?! All right. ALL HAIL BLECK!
They hang up. King Bleck presses a button on the armrest of his throne.
King Bleck: Have them send in the professor.
As King Bleck waits, he looks like he did in the old paintings of him as the Mushroom Kingdom’s king done by Vincent and King Boo. Future Kooper shows up with a gold shell instead of a blue one. To be original, we’ll call him “Gold Kooper” instead of “Future Kooper”.
King Bleck: We’ve captured The Yoshi in Mushroom City.
Gold Kooper: Sweet.
King Bleck: Now go there.
Gold Kooper: Ooh, but I still have to finish Subspace Emissary in my copy of Brawl.
King Bleck: It’s been taking you this long?!
Gold Kooper: I’m really bad at video games.
King Bleck: Can’t you just pause the game?
Gold Kooper: … Oh yeah! All right, I’ll do that and be on the first flight.
King Bleck: But that’s not why you’re here.
They sit down in chairs facing each other.
Gold Kooper: What do they have to do with this?
King Bleck looks to see P.T. and Kool-Aid Man in two more chairs.
King Bleck: I thought you two were sentenced to visit Popstar for three years starting a year ago!
P.T.: Oh no, we’re from the past.
King Bleck: Leave us! Or you’ll go to the dungeon!
The two leave.
King Bleck: So we let Mushroom City blow up and made a pact to eliminate these sorts of dangers at any cost. So how close are we to a cure?
Gold Kooper: … Define close-
King Bleck: HOW CLOSE?!
Gold Kooper: Not very. It’s like these superpowered people are like a whole different species! Well technically we are all different kinds, but for clarity-
King Bleck: So we’ll need your other option- Extinction!
Gold Kooper: What?! But-
King Bleck: Ahem. “It wouldn’t be the first time a species has gone extinct for the preservation of another species. ~Kooper” Circa five years ago.
Gold Kooper: That was nature! This is genocide! This is madness!
King Leonidas: THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
King Bleck: Ignore him, he got lost when he had the King Convention here yesterday and missed the bus back to Sparta. Anyway, it’s not genocide or madness! And it’s definitely not Sparta. It’s self-defense!
Gold Kooper: But you’re one of them.
King Bleck: Oh come on! “Oh no, he can fly! He must be dangerous!” Seriously, that’s nothing. Besides, half the species of Plit have a flying variation.
Gold Kooper: I guess….
Meanwhile, Future Toad is still questioning Yoshi.
Yoshi: Why do you want to hurt other special people?
Future Toad gets a call.
Future Toad: Yes, I can hear you now. Kooper?! Fine.
He hangs up.
Future Toad: Watch him.
Future Bogmire nods and approaches Yoshi with his egg. Meanwhile at Vincent’s old studio, Gold Kooper is staring in awe at the web. Meanwhile at Dunder Mifflin, Future Gadd is facing two parents with a son. They are Goombas. He doesn’t have his swirly glasses anymore, as he has traded them in for swirly glasses. Redundant, I know. Future Bombette is watching behind him.
Future Gadd: (to the boy, with a happy tone) Now press this button! If it’s blue, you can leave! And if it’s red, you have a superpower and you’ll die!
Mother: How can you sound so happy?!
Future Gadd: Oh no, it’s only if they get to him.
Mother: Oh, okay.
The boy presses the button and it’s red.
Future Bombette: All right! You’re now the Goombersons, from the Good Egg Galaxy.
Future Gadd: You’ll never know when you’re safe so keep this thing in the vial on your person at all times. And you… (to the dad) Do whatever it takes to protect him.
Father: Okay, I guess.
Future Gadd sees them leave… along with Future Yoshi and Kamek waiting outside. Soon…
Future Gadd: No, the superpowered people are supposed to be hidden!
Future Yoshi: I only want Tatanga, Ms. Mowz, and that Shy Guy girl from a few chapters ago when Toad first appeared in the story.
Future Gadd: No.
Future Gadd leaves the room they’re in, untiiiil…
Kamek: But he saved your daughter!
Future Gadd: Huh?
Future Yoshi: I told Dimentio to save Mimi from King Boo at that homecoming game that happened a few chapters ago. My friend said so. Isn’t she alive?
Future Gadd: … All right, I’ll check.
Meanwhile, Gold Kooper is explaining the web to Future Toad. But he’s not listening.
Gold Kooper: So these strings are the people… How they met, changed history, things like that… This is a map of the past!
Future Toad: And?
Gold Kooper: He must be trying to change the past! Hello, what’s this?
Gold Kooper goes over to a table and picks up the last issue of Luigi’s House of Horrors. He goes through it.
Gold Kooper: He must want to go back and redo things in his life. One would likely be the bomb. The other, the day I received my father’s Dry Bones… I rode on the subway with Dimentio… We got attacked by a hobo… And Dimentio said he saw a man that froze time! He had a message for Dimentio!
Future Toad: What was it?
Gold Kooper has an epiphany and shells out. Future Toad follows. Meanwhile in the place where Goombella worked (which has been relocated to the Good Egg Galaxy for no reason at all), you can see Future Mimi. She watches a mini TV showing King Bleck leaving Mushroom Castle. Goombario the busboy approaches.
Goombario: I thought you hated him. I kind of have a crush on you.
Future Mimi: I know.
Goombario: Oh, and that creepy guy with the swirly glasses is here.
Future Mimi looks to see Future Gadd sitting in the restaurant. She approaches.
Future Mimi: Can I get you anything?
Future Gadd: Well my table is sticky.
Future Mimi: Deal with it.
Future Gadd: (whispering) Someone knows about you. Take the bag to my right and leave. Now. Forget about Goombario.
Future Mimi: But we were getting married!
(Goombario is older in this story.)
Future Gadd: Did you tell him about your superpower?
Future Mimi: No. I’m sick of hiding all over the Grand Finale Galaxy!
(…which in this story is still made up of other galaxies.)
TV Voice: -And today we’ve arrested 200 undocumented superpowered people in the Plit area of the Grand Finale Galaxy! Our most successful day since the Don Pianta act four years ago!
Future Mimi takes the bag and goes into the back room. Meanwhile, Future Yoshi and Kamek are watching the same televised event in a waiting room at Dunder Mifflin.
Future Yoshi: Tatanga can use intangibility to get us in, and Ms. Mowz can make illusions to distract guards.
Kamek: I thought she transforms.
Future Yoshi: No, she makes the illusion of her being someone else as well as illusions of other things. More or less the same thing, though.
Kamek: Wait, what about me?
Future Yoshi: Oh, you’ll help.
Kamek: No! My future! Am I rich?! Am I married?! Did I ever appear on The Apprentice?!
Future Yoshi: That’s a secret.
Kamek: NOOOOOOOO!!! Why?
Future Yoshi: … Yoshi! Woooow! Hah! (Your impatience would cause the universe to implode.)
Kamek: Ah, so you didn’t completely change!
Future Yoshi: But I must tell you something.
Suddenly Future Yoshi gets hit with a tazer. A bunch of police Piantas swarm the room and grab the Yoshinese people.
Future Toad: Wait, we already got you! And you seem to have gained weight and put a feather behind your nonexistent ear… DANG IT! There are two Yoshis!
Suddenly, Future Dimentio appears with a dark overcoat on, and he pushes some guards aside with his mind. He then focuses and time stops. He goes over and places a hand on Future Yoshi and Kamek, and focuses again. Time restarts, but they’re gone. Later, Future Gadd comes in to find police everywhere. He comes up to Future Toad.
Future Toad: Your friends got away.
Future Gadd: I would not have called you if they were my friends, dummy. Remember, I turn in the dangerous ones for you, but I get to hide the harmless ones.
Future Toad: So we’re harboring both children of interest. Well mine isn’t the king’s daughter.
Future Gadd: But she was getting married.
Future Toad: Congrats. Have you heard anything from Toadette?
Future Gadd: Everyday. You did right by her. You didn’t have a choice.
Future Gadd: Hello, what’s that?
He keeps going and notices a Game Overed Future Bombette on the floor behind a desk. A mini Bill in her forehead is visible. Future Toad then comes in and slams him down onto the desk, with help from some police Piantas. Future Toad aims his mini Blaster at Gadd’s head.
Future Toad: Ugh. Now I have to explain to the King why there are two Yoshis and how I let one get away! So I’m ending our arrangement. Tell me where she is.
Future Gadd: No.
Future Toad: Please?
Future Gadd: I said no!
Future Toad pulls the mini trigger. Wait, does this imply that normal Bill Blasters have triggers? Oh well. Meanwhile, Future Mimi is looking at the bag on the counter, gets an idea, and runs to Goombario.
Future Mimi: Hey, let’s elope and pack our bags, drive off to Gritzy Desert, and get married by sunset!
Goombario: You’re crazy.
Future Mimi: It’s okay, I’ll give you my reasons on the road.
Goombario: (like Ness, from Earthbound) Okay.
Later, she’s filling a man’s coffee mug.
Mimi: Can I get you anything?
He’s covering his face with an upside-down menu. He then lowers it. Future Toad! He is smirking.
Future Toad: I don’t know, what would you suggest, Claire- I mean Mimi!
Mimi: Gasp!
Kool-Aid Man: Oh no!
Meanwhile, Gold Kooper is questioning Yoshi in his holding cell with Future Bogmire watching over them.
Gold Kooper: Save the transforming spider thingy, save the world.
Yoshi: How you know?
Gold Kooper: I was with Dimentio Nolastname one day on a subway and out of nowhere he said he got that message from you. The two of us were going to visit Vincent Van Gore, an artist that can paint the future. And he is very accurate.
Gold Kooper holds out a copy of Vincent’s comic.
Yoshi: Ooh! That the new Luigi’s House of Horrors?
Gold Kooper: However, history didn’t go like that.
He shows him a picture of Yoshi egging King Boo with an egg, likely the special one.
Gold Kooper: You’re trying to go back in time and stop King Boo, right?
Yoshi: Would you not save many lives if you could?
Gold Kooper: Hmm…
Meanwhile in the back of the comedy club, Future Dimentio is without his overcoat now and gives a blanket to Kamek, who gives it to Future Yoshi. Future Yoshi is out cold on the couch.
Future Dimentio: Is that really you?
Kamek: Why would you be surprised to see me?
Future Dimentio: Because you died-
Kamek: I DIED?!
Future Dimentio sits in a Lay-Z-Clown/Jester chair.
Future Dimentio: You know how hopeful and optimistic Yoshi was? Well that all ended when you died. The bomb. I think that’s why he wants to undo it.
Future Princess Shroob comes in, then comes right back out and Future Dimentio follows her. Meanwhile Gold Kooper is explaining the web to King Bleck in Vincent’s old apartment.
Gold Kooper: He’s trying to kill King Boo before the explosion!
King Bleck: You just said that.
Gold Kooper: Sorry.
King Bleck: But you actually think he can make that happen?
Gold Kooper: Yes. Without King Boo, all the superpowered people wouldn’t be considered dangerous. None of this would’ve ever happened! If he ends King Boo’s game he can change everything! Let me show you with a visual aid.
Gold Kooper pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts the black string, and the whole web crashes.
King Bleck: No, I have to have answers here and now!
Gold Kooper: You’re not going to cause genocide!
King Bleck: I was elected to make hard decisions. I’m pretty sure I know how things work. Tomorrow I’ll announce that you’ve developed a treatment. I’ll be lying, yes, but the world will cheer!
Gold Kooper: But what happens when people start dying?
King Bleck: I’ll say that it was a mistake on your part. Everyone will be united in grief. But then we’ll just be united!
Gold Kooper: You’re insane! You’re even worse than that guy!
He points over to P.T. in the corner.
P.T.: He’s right, you know. I’m just crazy, but you… You need help.
King Bleck: … So are you with me, Kooper?
Kooper: … Fine.
The door bangs open and Future Toad comes in.
Future Toad: Your Bleckness, there are two Yoshis. I want to put down the younger one.
King Bleck: Nah, I want Kooper to do it.
Gold Kooper: 0_0
He gets the “aren’t you with me” look from King Bleck.
Gold Kooper: Ugh, fine.
Future Toad: That wasn’t the only thing we found.
Meanwhile in the Nolastname Mansion, Future Mimi looks at a picture of Dimentio and Bleck. King Bleck comes in.
Future Mimi: You’ve made everyone afraid of us!
King Bleck: No, just aware! We’re special!
Future Mimi: Who are you to decide who’s special?!
Future Mimi tries to walk past him, but he grabs her arm.
King Bleck: Uh, maybe the leader of the free world? Well technically there are billions of worlds since we’re all one galaxy now. Leader of the free galaxy, let’s say. I’ve met lots of people. Like this girl named Ms. Mowz. She allowed me to be king. But I’m done now. I’m eliminating the competition; I don’t need any more power, not after you!
Mimi backs away. But King Bleck stops her and keeps her in place with some power, and she starts vimming from her forehead.
Mimi: Oh crud, you’re King Boo!
The air warps and it’s revealed to be Future King Boo! He looks older and now has a curly mustache. And he also now has a tattoo that says “MOM” on the underside of his left arm.
Future King Boo: Oh, that was always there.
Oh. Meanwhile, Future Yoshi wakes up to see Kamek holding and staring at the special egg.
Kamek: You’ve always wanted to master Yoshdo.
Future Yoshi: I studied in Tohshi, so I’m technically a Battojutshi master.
Kamek: Why must you correct me?!
Future Yoshi: Because there’s a difference.
Kamek: Aw man! You got everything you wanted and I died!
P.T.: And I could’ve had a V8!
Future Yoshi: Dimentio told you?
Kamek: And it looks like you’ve fought lots of battles.
Future Yoshi: More than I wanted, yes. They’re not as fun without you. It’s hard to not have a spellcaster in your party, but I’ve hired a new one and he’s leveled up twice and he’s almost to Warlock Class!
Meanwhile, in Future Princess Shroob’s room, she’s arguing with Future Dimentio.
Future Princess Shroob: Why can’t you just let it go?!
Future Dimentio: Ugh, FINE!
Future Dimentio sets down a kitty.
Future Princess Shroob: Now the other issue!
Future Dimentio: Me?! You’re gonna call yourself by your big sister’s name and act like nothing gets to you? It’s not who you are!
Future Princess Shroob: She is now.
Future Dimentio: GET OVER IT! Tatanga is gone! Shroob is gone! Hector your virtual pet is gone!
Future Princess Shroob: Why do you act like you have to finish everything?!
Future Dimentio: Because I do! It’s my duty because I was the bomb! I got rid of Shroob!
Future Princess Shroob: That was King Boo-
Future Dimentio: No, Bleck lied to save my bacon. If I can help Yoshi to go back-
Future Princess Shroob: Fine but if you leave, you’re not coming back!
Future Dimentio picks up the kitty, grabs his trenchcoat, and goes into the back room.
Future Dimentio: All right, let’s go fix it!
Kamek and Future Yoshi: Okay.
Meanwhile, we’re at the site of the explosion, which is now a memorial. “Bleck” (Future King Boo) gives a speech.
King Bleck/Future King Boo: My fellow Mushroom Kingdom…ites? –lings? I don’t know. Anyway, let us remember the people that all died in the explosion those years ago. Let someone ring five bells because it was five years ago! And because it’s “Five Tacos For Five Dollars Day” at Taco Bell!
Meanwhile, Yoshi is in his holding cell and looks up to hear the ringing, as can Future Toad and Future Bogmire, who are observing. It rings once again as Gold Kooper removes a syringe. Meanwhile, Princess Shroob can hear the last one as she’s watching Bleck on TV.
P.T.: Did you ever get the feeling that somehow every character in this chapter that matters all heard that?
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah!
Princess Shroob: Get out!
The idiots leave. Angry about something (likely Future Dimentio), she throws a glass at the screen, breaking both. Meanwhile at the site, Fake Future Bleck is still going on.
Fake Future Bleck: You know we’re all too familiar with sacrifice…
Meanwhile in the lobby of homeland security, the guards turn away from the TV to find Future Dimentio, Future Yoshi, and Kamek.
Fake Future Bleck Voiceover: We’ve all become soldiers. Heroes, if you will.
A guard hits an alarm and they all draw weapons.
FFBV: We’ve been protecting each other from dangers, too.
Gold Kooper turns around and Future Toad gets to his feet.
FFBV: Nobody wanted this battle and we came into it with a heavy heart. Probably lead, that’s… that’s heavy.
Yoshi looks up hopefully. Downstairs, more guards enter as Future Dimentio and Future Yoshi smile.
Future Dimentio: I haven’t had a good fight in years.
Future Yoshi: Aww, I wanted to stop time!
FFBV: Knowing that the enemy was ourselves. Whatever that means.
Future Dimentio and Future Yoshi draw their weapons (starburst and egg respectively), and Kamek has no idea what to do.
FFBV: We’ve won battles all over the world.
Future Yoshi eggs some guards.
FFBV: Not just against the ones that would do us harm-
A guard falls and lands in midair. Future Dimentio materializes and lowers his hand that had the guard on it.
FFBV: But also against poverty and environmental things.
Future Yoshi: Okay, The Shadow is upstairs and will have our powers blocked.
Future Dimentio: So we need to get rid of him so Past Yoshi will be able to warp away.
Kamek: But won’t there be guards?
FFBV: But we don’t forget the price we’ve had to pay, the laws we’ve had to pass to keep our citizens safe. Or that new law that says Chuck Norris and Captain Falcon must live in different galaxies to keep any one galaxy from exploding due to awesomeness overload.
Up the stairs, Future Toad is cocking his mini Bill Blaster, with a group from the SWAT team near an elevator.
Future Toad: Take them down. No warning.
FFBV: To preserve our way of life.
In the other room, Future Bogmire is focusing on Yoshi.
FFBV: We’ve been hoping that someday there’d be salvation.
Yoshi sees Gold Kooper filling a syringe.
Meanwhile at the memorial site, Fake Future Bleck is still continuing his speech.
FFB: …And lucky for you, that day is today! We’ve discovered a treatment that will reverse the genetic code!
Audience: Sweet.
FFB: The first clinics will open up around the world next month, and maybe some in a random galaxy here or there. And we’ll begin lifting restrictions!
Meanwhile, Future Dimentio, Future Yoshi, and Kamek are standing in front of an open elevator.
FFBV: Families shall be reunited!
Future Yoshi and Co. are in the elevator, and he presses a button. Future Dimentio nods and Kamek is amazed.
FFBV: We’ll be able to live without fear.
Future Yoshi is holding the egg in the position for throwing.
FFBV: We’ve been vigilant and uncompromising.
Upstairs, Future Toad and the SWAT team are waiting.
FFBV: And our efforts have paid off!
Gold Kooper and Future Bogmire walk up to Yoshi, who is scared.
FFBV: But the world is saved!
Yoshi: *gulp*
With Future Toad…
SWAT Guy: Why can’t we just go down and kill them?
Future Toad: Duh! The Shadow is up here too so they’ll be powerless!
Ding!
Nobody’s inside the elevator? Future Toad comes over and searches, then slaps the elevator doorframe in anger.
Future Toad: OW! THAT HURT! I forgot I’m not very strong!
In Yoshi’s cell, he’s still shaking.
Yoshi: COME ON! I must go back and stop bomb! You know this!
Gold Kooper: Hold him down.
Future Bogmire: Okay. Hey, my first line in this chapter!
He does. Yoshi closes his eyes tightly.
Yoshi: Nooo! Nonononononononono-
Nothing happens. Except Future Bogmire’s grip loosens a little. Yoshi opens his eyes to see Future Bogmire quivering with the syringe in his neck. He lets go.
Future Bogmire: … Not… cool…
Future Bogmire falls over, melts, and dies. Even though he’s part ghost. Gold Kooper frees Yoshi.
Yoshi: But why?
Gold Kooper: Because I’m supposed to.
Gold Kooper shows the comic to Yoshi, and it features Gold Kooper turning on Future Bogmire. He grabs Yoshi’s special egg.
Gold Kooper: Now I’ll take you to a safe place.
Gold Kooper opens a door to see an egged guard fall over. Future Yoshi then runs in and pushes Gold Kooper up to the wall, and Gold Kooper drops the special egg.
Yoshi: Future me, no! He’s a good guy!
Future Dimentio then comes in after using The Force on a guard. P.T. and Kool-Aid Man come in too.
Future Dimentio: Hey Kooper.
Gold Kooper: Hey Dimentio.
Future Dimentio: Hey Earl.
Earl Hickey: Hey Dimentio.
Earl leaves as Future Dimentio and Future Yoshi see dead Future Bogmire. Kamek runs in.
Kamek: Yoshi!
Yoshi and Future Yoshi: Yes?
Kamek: No, The Yoshi.
Yoshi and Future Yoshi: Yes?
Kamek: … Past The Yoshi.
Yoshi: Oh. Kamek!
Future Yoshi: That was nice, but now you have to leave.
Yoshi: How do I go back to right moment?
Future Yoshi: I’ll take you.
P.T.: Hey, can you take us too? We’re also from the past.
Future Yoshi: Ugh. Fine.
Future Yoshi is then hit by something and falls due to a man in the doorway. Future Toad! He’s preparing another shot but Future Dimentio uses his powers to shut the door. Meanwhile at the site, FFB lights a flame. Back at homeland security, SWAT guys are using a battering ram shaped like Lemmy to break through the door as a tribute to the Lemmy’s Mansion Trilogy. Future Toad dials on a phone. At the site, FFB answers.
FFB: Yes?
Future Toad (on the other end): The Shadow died!
FFB: Well that happens. What about The Yoshi?
Future Toad: We can’t get to him! Your buddy the clown is keeping us out! That stupid dinosaur is going to get away!
FFB: Hmm…
He hangs up, then flies straight into the air.
Audience: *Gasp!*
In the room, Kamek pulls the Luigi’s House of Horrors comic out from under Future Yoshi’s saddle. Kamek sees a page in there that features the dead Future Yoshi. Yoshi stares at the real thing.
Yoshi: I DIED! Or rather I will.
Kamek: Huh? *looks up* Oh yeah. We gotta leave!
Yoshi: But I die!
Kamek: Yoshi!
Suddenly an arm phases through the door and yanks Future Dimentio away. In the hallway we see that it was Fake Future Bleck.
FFB: Toad, get in there and end this!
Future Toad: Uh, okay.
FFB: Ha. Friend vs. Friend. It’s almost biblical!
Future Dimentio: Actually I think that’d work more if we were actual brothers.
FFB: Oh… You’re right. My mistake.
Future Dimentio: But my friend can’t go through walls! Who are you?!
He changes back into Future King Boo.
Future King Boo: The guy they blamed for the explosion! But I think we all know who really did that, eh MENTI?
Future Dimentio: Only Bleck can call me that! And on some days my mom! Say, who are you anyway?
Future King Boo: Oh come on! Do we have to go through this every time?!
In the room, Gold Kooper gives Yoshi the special egg.
Gold Kooper: Now go!
In the hall…
Future Dimentio: You’re going to pay for what you did to Bleck and then what you did in his name and THEN that Mars Bar that you took from the store that you never paid for!
Future King Boo covers his hands in ice.
Future King Boo: When I got to him he had already turned on his own kind!
Future Dimentio sets his hands aflame. His hand with the hook on it catches aflame and knocks the hook off, revealing a normal hand.
Future Dimentio: YOU DIRTY LIAH! Woah, you have ice and I have fire! Cool!
The two charge towards each other. In the room…
Yoshi: I can’t do it!
Gold Kooper is fighting to keep the door shut.
Kamek: Come on! I believe in you! I’ve seen what you become!
The two look down to see Yoshi’s dead future self.
Kamek: Well, until you die anyway.
P.T.: Even I believe in you! And I barely have any grasp on the storyline around me!
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah!
The three put their hands on Yoshi’s shoulder and Yoshi focuses. The door bursts open and Gold Kooper screams. There’s a big flash of white…. Aaaaaand they’re back on the roof of Bob’s dad’s place. They’re back in the present. All is well! … Well, better off than the future anyway.
Yoshi: Yay! I did it! I DID IT! I DID IT! I-
Kamek: No!
Yoshi: Sorry.
P.T.: Well that was weird. Come on, Kool. We have a plot to interrupt.
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah!
They leave. Yoshi opens up to the last panel, which is of him egging King Boo.
Yoshi: Now for the hard part.