Chapter 22: Landslide of Epic Proportions
Yay! We’re almost done! But there are still some chapters left. Anyway, let’s continue.
Dimentio: Come on, Mimi!
She pulls out the mini Bill Blaster, but he starts to stop glowing.
Dimentio: Wait!
He stops completely and everyone sighs in relief. Meanwhile in Vincent’s old studio, Yoshi is staring at his broken egg. On the ground appears the chapter’s name.
Yoshi: It’s over! I failed! I didn’t do it! (nearly sobbing) I DIDN’T DO IT! I DIDN’T DO IT! I DIDN’T-
Kamek: Stop! That’s more annoying than if you did do it! Anyway it’s not a big hole, so you can still use it!
Yoshi: I’m not fit to throw it!
Kamek: We’ve come from an office on Yoshi’s Island, all the way to the Mushroom Kingdom! We must save the world!
Yoshi: But-
Kamek: It’s our destiny!
P.T.: And it’s my destiny to buy more chips. And to probably figure out where Kool went.
P.T. leaves.
Yoshi: Well destiny make mistake!
Kamek: Why not fix the egg?
Yoshi: It’s ancient! It was Shiyo’s!
Kamek: I’ll check the phonebook!
He opens it up to “Ancient Egg Repair”. A special ad is there for “Yoshettsu Arms”. It features the symbol on the egg. Kamek dials the number.
Person’s voice: Hello?
Kamek: To you repair ancient Yoshi samurai eggs?
Person’s voice: Yes.
Yoshi takes the phone.
Yoshi: I am Yoshi! The Yoshi! The fate of the world rests in your hands!
Meanwhile, Mimi and Gadd are talking.
Gadd: So he’s your uncle?
Mimi: Well he’s really close to my real dad so he might as well be. Wait, you didn’t know?
Gadd: No, the company didn’t apparently share all of their information.
Mimi: Then why are you here if you didn’t know I was here?
Gadd: To destroy the tracking system to live a normal life.
Mimi: But what if Dimentio’s right? Maybe we all have a destiny and it’s to save the world together!
Nearby, Dimentio, Toad, and Bowser are talking.
Bowser: We just got here! Now you want me to go because you saw a painting in which Mushroom City will blow up?!
Dimentio: It was also in a dream. Gadd and Toad can take care of the tracking system, but you gotta leave before King Boo gets you.
Gadd: He’s right. There’s a small town somewhere with only 15 people. Go there and wait for my say so. And pick me up a corndog while you’re there.
Mimi: I brought the map!
Toad: She’s going too?
Gadd: It’s a destiny thing. She can stop them if they lose it.
Bowser: All right.
Meanwhile, King Boo is hiding behind a wall.
King Boo: I think I’ll be coming too.
Meanwhile, Bleck is on the phone when Don Pianta comes in.
Bleck: All right, Nastasia. We’ll do the photo-op in an hour. Bye. *hangs up* I’m still down in the polls! How do I win this?
Don Pianta: Relax, you’ll win! And after a year or two you’ll be the king!
Bleck: And I have to let my friend explode for that to happen?
Don Pianta: What happens after the explosion is the important part. Your dad- or maybe Dimentio’s dad, would be proud. Of course he’s not related to you so I wouldn’t know why.
Bleck: He’d have me committed and think that Dimentio’s insanity rubbed off on me.
Don: Oh, so you weren’t told? That man was one of us! He tried to make a difference! But he couldn’t so he suicide…ed. He was a weakling!
Bleck: He was a good man! And when I win-
Tippi (from the hallway): Blumiere?
She flies in.
Tippi: Oh, is this a bad time?
Don: No, I was going to leave. Bye.
Don Pianta leaves.
Tippi: What is he doing here?!
Bleck: He’s my biggest contributor! If I win, it’ll be because of him!
Tippi: You don’t need his help!
…
Bleck: This is the part where your character would finally stand and not need a wheelchair.
Tippi: But I can already do that. Well technically I’m not standing, but…
Bleck: Yeah. Uh, SCENE CHANGE!
Meanwhile, Dimentio is leading Mimi and Bowser down the street.
Mimi: After this thing, maybe I’ll become a bodyguard or something since I’m invincible. But why do we have to rent a car? Why not fly?
Dimentio: Excuse me?
Mimi: I meant in a plane!
Dimentio: Because. Something happened the last time I was on a plane…
FLASHBACK!
Dimentio is on a plane, reading a book.
Person on Dimentio’s left: Trump!
Person on Dimentio’s right: O’Donnell!
Both: Die!
Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump start fighting.
Dimentio: AAAHHH!!! Save me, Superman!
Suddenly some guy runs in.
Samuel L. Jackson: I’m sick of these DAD-dang snakes on this DAD-dang plane!
Meanwhile on the plane’s wing, someone comes out form under a cardboard box.
Solid Snake: Who knew I was here?
End flashback!
Bowser: Besides, the FBI has wanted posters of me everywhere.
Dimentio then hears a thought!
King Boo: (Maybe I can use his fugitiveness to get his power!)
Dimentio: King Boo! He’s watching us! We gotta get off this street!
They get into a building.
Bowser: Who’s King Boo?
Behind a pillar is King Boo, waiting. Meanwhile, Yoshi and Kamek walk down the street. A limo comes up and Bleck gets out.
Yoshi: *gasp!* Flying man!
Yoshi runs down the street.
Yoshi: FLYING MAN!
Bleck looks and hears him. Yoshi and Kamek are approaching.
Bleck: Oh…
Yoshi: Flying Man!
Bleck: Yes, hi. Keep it down.
Yoshi: We’re still trying to stop the bomb! You need to help us or bad future will happen!
Bleck: Well your Mushroomese is getting better.
Kamek: You’ll become a bad person!
Yoshi: But you can help us now!
Bleck: Nobody can stop it. Now bye and thanks for voting.
Yoshi: *Gasp!* You already filling! Bad guy!
Bleck: “Villain.”
Bleck gets into his limo but Yoshi keeps yelling.
Yoshi: VILLAIN!
Kamek: … You do know he’s trying to win “First Ever Mario Villain To Be A Count Instead Of A King Or Something”, right?
Yoshi: But even in game he good!
Meanwhile, Tatanga and Elder are watching.
Tatanga: I don’t see Don or Shroob with that top hat guy.
Elder: Then let’s follow him, he’ll know where at least one of them is!
Meanwhile, Yoshi and Kamek approach the egg repair place.
Yoshi: He join the Dark Side! This soon no less!
They enter. A Boo Blah comes out of the back room.
Yoshi: My egg! It broke!
He sets it out on the table.
Boo Blah: The Jewel Egg?! Shiyo’s Jewel Egg?! What happened to it?!
Yoshi: It froze. Then broke.
Kamek: Can it be fixed?
Boo Blah: That depends on him.
He points to the Yoshi that entered, Aquashi.
Aquashi: Yoshi! Wooow! Owowowowow! (This is the end of your journey.)
Yoshi: Waah! (Dad! I thought you went back to the Island!)
Aquashi: Yoshi! (I stayed to see how you were doing.)
Yoshi: Hmmmmm!!! (You stayed?!)
Aquashi: … Let us talk in the back room.
Kamek: Yoshi, no! He wants you to go back to the Island! The bomb!
Yoshi: Hmm… I must at least listen out of respect.
They go into the back room. Meanwhile, Ms. Mowz eats French fries as she walks into Pit’s room.
Shroob: My cousin eats like you. He’s really fat.
Ms. Mowz: Squeeks naturally have a little bit of fat. Here, I got you a comic book.
She gives it to him.
Shroob: “Toad Force V”?! Number 1?!
Francis: This is so high-TECHNICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!
Shroob: You’re nice even when you’re mean! Why are you helping bad people?
Ms. Mowz: Oh no, he’s good.
The door opens. It’s Don Pianta.
Ms. Mowz: How are you, Don?
Don: I’m fine. Hello, Shroob.
Shroob: I wanna see my mom.
Don: Lucky for you, you can go home after today.
Shroob: I bet you’re lying.
Don gets down to his level and Shroob scratches his nose again.
Don: OW! Every time! Anyway, I won’t lie to you. What you do with your superpower today will save a lot of lives. You’ll just have to do what you usually do, with enough money coming home with you to keep your parents from ever worrying again.
Shroob: I don’t know-
Don: I’ll throw in my click-y pen.
Shroob: Deal.
Meanwhile, Dimentio, Mimi, and Bowser exit the car rental place.
Bowser: So how does he take your power?
Mimi: He opens your head and eats your brain.
Bowser faints. Dimentio pinches the sole of his foot to wake him up.
Bowser: Ow! We should get out of the city in that case.
FBI people appear, as does Agent Goomba Boss, AGB.
AGB: You’re under arrest, Koopa!
Bowser: You guys gotta leave!
Dimentio grabs Mimi’s wrist and they invisibly leave. A few police guys from Mario Power Tennis’s opening knocks Bowser to the ground and holds him down.
ABG: I’ve chased you all around the Mushroom Kingdom! You’re going to prison!
Bowser: Aww, I wanted to go to the park! Fine, just line the cell with lead and keep me away from everyone else!
They put him in the van.
ABG: Thanks Mister…?
King Boo: Van Gore. Vincent Van Gore. I knew it was my patriotic duty to report him if I saw him. Especially since it’s the day of the election.
ABG: That’s nice of you.
King Boo mysteriously leaves. Meanwhile, Yoshi and Aquashi are still talking.
Yoshi: Yoshi! Wooow! Hmmmm!!! (I know you want me to go home but I can’t! I haven’t finished my mission!)
Aquashi: Yoshi! Woooow! Hmmmm!!! Yoshi! (And you shall finish. I’ve waited a while for one of the members of our family to ascend. I didn’t know it’d be you. It may have been hinted at when your mother and I named you by our race, and since that your name translates into Super Dragon. You’ve proven yourself worthy of our legacy and your power.)
Yoshi: Waah! King Boo! (You knew about my superpower? Either way, my egg broke! I didn’t kill King Boo!)
Aquashi: Yoshi! (That does not matter. It was the journey that mattered!)
P.T.: Hey, stop talking in your native language! It’s getting hard to type it all!
Aquashi: …
Yoshi: You knew this whole time?!
Aquashi: Yes. There was a group of us. Likely the same as Don Pianta’s group. You shall kill the villain when you meet him next. I shall teach you how!
Yoshi: How would you know how to kill?
Aquashi: Ohhh…
Aquashi throws the egg at the floor near Yoshi’s feet and it bounces around the room and barely misses Yoshi several times, then Aquashi catches it.
Aquashi: Some.
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Meanwhile at a poll site, Ms. Mowz gets out of a limo with Shroob. She changes her appearance to look like a female Shroob woman and comes up to a worker.
Worker: Hello, Miss…
She looks at a sheet.
Worker: Shelly.
Shelly: Can I take my son into the booth with me to teach him about democracy?
Worker: Of course you can. It’s good that you’re doing it while he’s still young.
Shelly: All right, all right, don’t go after school special on me!
They go into a booth. Shelly morphs back into Ms. Mowz.
Ms. Mowz: Now make all the computers automatically vote for Bleck.
Shroob uses his powers to do this.
Ms. Mowz: Now we have to do this at every other poll site.
Shroob: No, no. The computer told me they’re all networked together.
Ms. Mowz: Oh. That was convenient.
Shroob: I can control every computer from here. How many votes should Bleck win by?
Ms. Mowz: Uh, I don’t know! I never thought about it! Uh, um, er… uh, LANDSLIDE! Let’s go with a landslide!
Fox McCloud: LANDMASTER!
Shroob focuses and does it very hard but then takes his claw off the machine in pain.
Ms. Mowz: Cool.
Shroob: Can I go home now?
Meanwhile, Bleck enters his Campaign HQ and turns on a TV. He’s still down in the polls.
Elder: Sorry for interrupting your big day.
Bleck: Bleh!
He’s shocked as he sees the menacing alien couple.
Bleck: After you tipped me off about Don Pianta you’d die.
Elder: And I thought you’d kill him! Now where is he?!
Bleck: Here.
He gives Elder a glass of Kool-Aid.
Mug: Oh yeah!
P.T.: KOOL! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!
Tatanga: We’re not thirsty!
Tatanga launches a mini rocket from his robo-walker that shatters the mug, and the Kool-Aid goes down a drain that was never there before.
P.T.: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! … And thus I move on.
P.T. walks out, losing his partner in crime.
Bleck: Uh, who are you?
Tatanga: He took my son! I bet it has to do with the election!
Bleck: He kidnapped? Wow, that sounds serious.
Elder: You hate the Don as much as us, so let us take care of it!
Bleck: Why do I have the unsettling feeling that you won’t just talk it out?
At that point loud cheers are heard. Bleck won by a landslide!
Bleck: … All right, I’m the First Ever Mario Villain To Be A Count Instead Of A King Or Something! Again!
Tatanga: That’s a mouthful.
Count Bleck: Anyway, I have to make sure he won’t come after me!
Tatanga: Oh no, we’re killing him.
Count Bleck: Oh… Ohh! OH! Ohhh…
Meanwhile, Yoshi and Aquashi are throwing eggs at each other.
Aquashi: Do you remember the story of Shiyo and the Robot Dragon?
Yoshi: Yes. You read it to me lots.
Aquashi: He wished to unite the Island-
Yoshi: The Robot Dragon?
Aquashi: No, Shiyo. He asked the Robot Dragon to teach him the secrets of the egg. So he taught him and they fought and Shiyo won. Except the Dragon didn’t use egg throwing. Shiyo won by throwing eggs at the Dragon’s antenna orb. Then his pinker prototype brother came to the palace Shiyo moved to and demanded the princess as payment. Shiyo egged himself and then gave the egg to the pinker dragon because he said his love was in it or something.
Meanwhile, Toad and Gadd enter the hotel.
Gadd: The system is on the 42nd floor. And they have a Subway on the 41st floor. You’ll need to use your powers.
Toad: Are you sure?
Gadd: You’re here so we can get to the elevators without a ruckus! If you can’t, say goodbye to your wife and spore now because the company will know where you are no matter where you run!
Toad: All right, all right… Follow me!
They come up to a Lakitu guard.
Toad: Hey, Lakilester. I went to lunch with my friend and I forgot my pass. Can you let us up?
Lakilester: Do I know you? And it’s “Spike”.
Toad: We ran into each other last weekend?
Lakilester: (When I was at dinner with Lakilulu?)
Toad: At that restaurant? With your girlfriend?
Lakilester: (Does he mean Zess T’s?)
Toad: Zess T’s, was it?
Lakilester: (I might have met him… I did have a lot of Poison Shroom Shakes that night.)
Toad: Maybe not, you did have quite a few Poison Shroom Shakes. You seem to have been worried about her finding out about that thing you were hiding. (whispering) The X-Box 360.
Lakilester: Gah! All right, you can go right up.
They go up to the elevator and Gadd unsuccessfully tries the keypad.
Gadd: They changed the password! We’ll have to wait for you to pick it out of someone’s head.
Toad: Crud.
Gadd: What?
He looks and sees what Toad is worried about: Elder and Tatanga! They phase through Lakilester’s area and Gadd walks up to them.
Gadd: Uh, hey! My friend can read minds. And he says we have similar goals! Can we team up?
Elder: I could’ve sworn I threw you out a window.
Toad: Uh, that may or may not have happened…
P.T.: This reminds me of the time I threw myself out a window.
Toad: Go!
P.T.: No. Kool died so now I’m lonely.
Toad: Fine, just don’t draw too much attention to yourself.
Soon, they’re all riding the elevator. Toad is breathing hard into a paper sack because he heard Elder’s thoughts. Meanwhile, SGG is on her bed, seeing a map of Mushroom City. Kooper enters.
Kooper: How are you?
SGG: Better, but I don’t want to have any more shots.
Kooper: Huh? I was talking to my new pet.
He holds out his hand, on it is a blue Pikmin.
Kooper: Anyway, you still have a few left to go.
SGG: But I can find people now! Like the guy I made my hero! He saved me from the boogeyman. He’s in this building.
Kooper: Do you think you can find the “boogeyman”?
Mr. Game & Watch comes in.
Mr. Game & Watch: Bip!
Kooper: She’s doing well. She can find King Boo now.
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep boop honk ringring!
Kooper: You will but there are uninvited guests here? And both of us have to leave via helicopter?
Meanwhile, Gadd and Toad get out of the elevator.
Gadd: Okay, Toad’s freaking out due to your thoughts so we’re getting off here. Fortunately this is where we need to get off. But the Don is on the 51st floor.
Toad: Good luck. And get help!
P.T.: Gah! Do I stay or go or stay or go or-
The door closes on P.T. He gets taken up a few feet but then the other half of him squeezes out next to Gadd.
P.T.: Stay.
They start going down the hall.
Toad: So what do we do about this system?
Meanwhile, Mr. Game & Watch and Kooper are watching a monitor that shows Toad, Gadd, and P.T.
Kooper: What do they want?
Mr. Game & Watch: Ringringringring!
Kooper: The kid?
Mr. Game & Watch cocks a flat, black mini Bill Blaster.
Back with the others, they can start to hear Kooper and Mr. Game & Watch’s thoughts.
Mr. Game & Watch: (Beep boop bip bop!)
Toad yanks Gadd behind a corner and a flat, black mini Bullet Bill misses. Gadd pulls out a mini Bill Blaster of his own.
Gadd: (to Toad) You. Stay here. (to P.T.) You… I don’t care. You don’t matter to me.
Gadd gets up. Toad looks around and can’t see Mr. Game & Watch. Suddenly Mr. Game & Watch’s mini Bill Blaster is pointed at Toad’s head.
Mr. Game & Watch: Bip bop boop!
Toad: What are you thinking now, you ask? Wait, do you really want to know or is it a rhetorical question?
Gadd: Your last thought is the answer!
Gadd fires twice, but misses since Mr. Game & Watch’s head is flat.
Gadd: …
P.T.: Here.
P.T. hits Mr. Game & Watch’s head with his hammer, twisting his head sideways, thus making it easier to shoot. Gadd finishes off Mr. Game & Watch.
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep…
Mr. Game & Watch’s corpse turns translucent like a Mr. Game & Watch silhouette on one of his systems. Gadd takes his keycard and mini Bill Blaster. Kooper is watching the whole thing on the monitor.
Kooper: Ugh, it’s always the flat guy. You say here, kid.
He goes over to the door and puts his nonexistent ear next to it. On the other side, Gadd slides Mr. Game & Watch’s cardkey through a pad.
Gadd: All right, this is the only way we know our families will be safe.
They enter the door and don’t find anything interesting.
Toad: So about that tracking system?
Gadd: It should be in that room.
He’s pointing at SGG’s room. They walk in and see curtains.
P.T.: Huh?
Gadd pulls a rope and it reveals SGG behind a bed, scared.
P.T.: Wait, you guys just came to kill off a little girl?
Toad: Are you insane?!
Gadd: Well… I didn’t know it’d be a kid…
Gadd points his mini Bill Blaster…
???: WHAT-CHA!
Kooper knocks Toad out with a food tray. Gadd turns around.
Kooper: Now lower your mini Bill Blaster.
Gadd: But then Mimi won’t ever be safe.
Kooper: Do it or I’ll use my mini Bill Blaster that I just got out of nowhere!
Gadd: If you get me, she’ll go too!
P.T.: Aww, how come nobody ever lets me go anywhere?
Meanwhile, the van holding Bowser turns a corner and King Boo is waiting in the middle of the street. He uses The Force to turn it upside-down and backwards, and then to open the door. Bowser is chained down. Now up.
Bowser: Ow.
King Boo then does his thing. Meanwhile, Yoshi and Aquashi are still throwing eggs at each other. Yoshi flutters over an egg, and ground pounds on Aquashi, stunning him. Then a flashing X appears over his egg as he prepares to throw.
Aquashi: Very good.
Yoshi: Now I can end King Boo’s game and Kamek won’t die!
They bow and come back into the main room, but Kamek’s gone.
Yoshi: Kamek! I’m done!
Boo Blah: He said that if you couldn’t finish the mission, he would. So he bought a new wand and left.
Yoshi: Waah!
He turns to his father.
Yoshi: He’s going after King Boo!
Aquashi: He’s doomed, then.
Yoshi: Why are you calm?!
Aquashi: I’m Gellin’.
Meanwhile, Dimentio is driving Mimi, but then they come up to stopped traffic.
Mimi: Now what?
Dimentio and Mimi get out and walk a little ways to find that it’s the scene of the overturned FBI truck. Two police Piantas are inspecting Bowser’s body.
Pianta 1: You think this happened in the accident?
Pianta 2: How else would it happen?
ABG: You don’t want to know.
Back with Dimentio and Mimi…
Mimi: King Boo got Bowser’s power!
Dimentio: So he’s the bomb?
Mimi: Whatever, just stop him!
Dimentio: But last time he killed me!
Meanwhile, Don Pianta is on the phone.
Don: Yeah, send a helicopter immediately.
He hangs up and Tatanga and Elder phase through the wall.
Don: Elder Princess Shroob?!
She grabs Don and throws him across the room.
Elder: Where is he?!
Don: You wouldn’t have him if it weren’t for me! I arranged your lives into what they are today!
Tatanga: So you think you’re better than us because you have more money than us?!
Don: Well in a way-
Tatanga: GIVEHIMBACK!
Don: He’s on the 42nd floor.
Elder: I’ll do it.
Don: You know Elder will end your game for me.
Tatanga: Oh?
Don: Open the bag on the floor.
Elder goes and pours it out on the ottoman. MONEY!
Popple: Money!
Elder: GET BACK IN THE CAR!
Popple: *sigh* It’s not easy being green.
Popple goes back to the car.
Tatanga: Elder, don’t listen to him!
Don: She can because she will by nature! She just cares about money! So Elder, how much to just end Tatanga’s game and walk away?
Elder: Ugh… He’s right, Tatanga. I would do it. But not my sister…
Princess Shroob takes control again. The couple hug now that they’re reunited.
Don: Hey, you’re not supposed to love him!
Princess Shroob: Everything I do is out of love for them!
Don pulls out a mini Bill Blaster and shoots for Princess Shroob, but Tatanga thinks quick, ejecting himself out of his robot suit so he can fly in the way fast enough to take the hit.
Princess Shroob: Tatanga!
Don: You were supposed to take the money!
Tatanga: WHAT-CHA!
Tatanga leaps up and phases his arm into Don’s head. He’s messing with the insides of his head and Don struggles around in pain until Tatanga gets his arm out.
Don: The money is buried in the-
Don dies.
Tatanga: What was he talking about?
Princess Shroob: I think he was just looking for a dying line.
But little did they know that there actually was money buried somewhere. It’s… I’m bored. Anyway…
Tatanga: I don’t care what he said, I think our meeting was real. And it looks like you were the strong one and not Elder.
Meanwhile, Count Bleck and Tippi enter a conference room. They go up onto a stage. Tippi flies next to Dimentio’s Mom. Count Bleck comes to a podium and prepares a speech.
Count Bleck: Thanks for your support. They’re telling me it was a landslide.
Meanwhile, Dimentio and Mimi get back into the car and look at each other with scared faces.
Count Bleck Voiceover: I’m sorry my best friend couldn’t be here tonight. But don’t worry, he cares more than anyone about this town.
Meanwhile, Yoshi runs out of the shop looking for Kamek.
CBV: His dad said we all have a responsibility to use what DAD gave us.
Aquashi follows Yoshi out.
CBV: He made hard choices for the greater good. He believed in that. It just so happens that I did too and so should our kids.
Shroob is looking out a window while Ms. Mowz is behind him eating chips.
CBV: They deserve a better future, I suppose.
Kamek is watching down a street with his new wand. He looks at the comic and keeps going. But first he buys a hotdog.
CBV: We can look into the darkness and find hope. Hopefully, we’ll have flashlights.
ABG grimly watches Bowser’s corpse get put into a body bag.
CBV: We should fight no matter how much it costs.
Back in the room…
Count Bleck: With our help we can fix the world.
Meanwhile, Princess Shroob is mourning over Tatanga.
CBV: With our love, compassion, and other things like that.
Kooper and Gadd are still in their predicament and P.T. is eating a drumstick.
CBV: Let’s embrace common goals for our kids…
In the room again…
Count Bleck: Let’s show them what we’re able to do. Peace!
The crowd boos him for sounding like an afterschool special. But then they hear O’Chunks cracking his knuckles and Mr. L charging up for a Super Jump.
Crowd: … Yay.
O’Chunks and Mr. L stop. Meanwhile on a rooftop, King Boo is on the edge. He makes a tiny explosion in his hand, then one in his other hand, looks to the city, and gets an idea.
King Boo: … Boom, baby!