One day in Petalburg, Koops was taking a stroll along the path to Hooktail's Castle. At the same time, Iggy and Lemmy were coming from the other end trying to invade Petalburg.
Koops: Hey, I see new visitors, wonder who they are.
Koops speeds up along the path to get a good look at them.
Iggy: Hey Lemmy, doesn't that Loopa look familiar?
Lemmy: I almost want to say Koops, but Bowser told us he fled from us years ago and was reported dead in Hooktail's Castle.
Iggy and Lemmy then speed up to see who is running at them.
Koops: Hi, are you- Hey wait, you guys are Lemmy and Iggy from the Koopa Clan.
Lemmy: And you are Koops, one of the biggest wimps in Bowser's Army!
Iggy: We thought you were dead.
Koops: No, I spent a great deal of time working with Mario and the gang.
Lemmy: Mario? You mean the fat, red plumber?
Koops: The very one.
Iggy: Don't you remember that you said you were a Troopa for life?
Koops: Yeah, but now I HATE the Koopa Clan.
Lemmy: What did you say?!
Koops: What? All I said was I hate the Koopa Clan.
Iggy: Let's get him and make him like us again!
Koops: If you can catch me!
Lemmy: Charge!
Lemmy and Iggy pick up ground on Koops and fire wands at him, and soon he gets cornered. But just in time Koops notices an unfamiliar warp pipe...
Koops: (Should I go down that pipe? If I don't I'll be dead, but then again I don't know where it leads...)
Lemmy: Any last words?!
Koops: Yeah, see you later!
Koops jumps down the pipe.
Iggy: Lemmy, should we chase after him?
Lemmy: Why not? If anything goes wrong we can warp back to Dark Land by using our wands.
Iggy and Lemmy hop on down the pipe.
At the other end of the pipe...
Koops: Where am I?
Koops looks around at the scenery and notices a lot of farmland. It's hot out, and he sees some weird creature. He soon finds out it's a human!
Koops: This can't be, how could I get here?
Just then Iggy and Lemmy shoot out of the pipe and tumble into Koops, sending them tumbling down a very steep mountain. At the moment, a fellow by the name of Nick Sabin is strolling down the path and notices the three Koopas.
Nick Sabin: Wow, that's a giant turtle. I reckon I should call animal patrol.
Iggy: No, we are not turtles, we are Koopas. And where in the world are we?
Nick Sabin: Wow, that's something you don't see everyday, a talking turtle.
Lemmy: We asked where we are.
Nick Sabin: Why, you're in Alabama.
Koops: What's an Alabama?
Nick Sabin: It's a place in the south, I reckon. The dominant species here are humans, but gators are inching their way up.
Iggy: So this is the Real World?
Nick Sabin: If you mean Earth than I reckon you right.
Lemmy: Iggy, do you know what this means?
Iggy: We can takeover this Real World with our magic wands! We can create a whole new army!
Nick Sabin: Why you's gots another one of those glowy magical thingys.
Lemmy: Yeah, now go away, southern sped!
Nick Sabin: Did you's say what's I think you's said? Sped is a swear down here in hillbilly country!
Iggy: Say byebye!
In one fire of the wand, Iggy and Lemmy make Nick Sabin vanish into thin air.
Koops: What did you do that for?
Lemmy: It's your turn now!
Just before Iggy and Lemmy can fire their wands, Koops gets in his shell and rolls far away from the Koopalings.
Back on Plit...
It is a sunny day. Mario and Luigi are sitting down to have their morning breakfast when they see a shocking headline on the morning news.
Luigi: Hey Mario, look at the heading on the local news.
Mario: It says: LOCAL KOOPA AND TWO KOOPALINGS MYSTERIOUSLY VANISH IN PETALBURG MEADOWS.
Luigi: Do think that is your friends Koops?
Mario: Yeah, let's put on the local news.
Lakilarry, Newscaster: Breaking News, Koops, along with Iggy and Lemmy, have suddenly disappeared in the meadows. Search crews have been looking for hours, but no trace. We'll have more information on the midday news.
Just then Admiral Bobbery walks in the door, looking rugged and worried.
Mario: Bobbery, what's the matter?
Luigi: He's going to blow! Run!
Admiral Bobbery: No, I just had the worst experience since my hay day.
Mario: What happened?
Admiral Bobbery: Well, it's a long tale. Last week, I set sail with some local sailors. We were to go out and do a search and rescue. But it turns out, me and about fifty other sailors got on a pirate ship, and were sailing to Seaside to attempt to steal the treasure. It took us days to figure out we were tricked. But then it was too late, we had landed on the island. The pirates immediately got off, drilled a huge hole in the bottom of the boat, and pushed it out to sea. Me and a fellow sailor grabbed the last and only rowboat, and lived. But we were lost until we got washed ashore here. But when the shore line was visible, we then were swept over by a gigantic wave and I almost drowned, but luckily my sailor friend knew how to swim, and saved us.
Luigi: Who's your friend?
Admiral Bobbery: See for yourself, JOHNNY!
Mario: Is that really Jonathan Johnny Jones!?
JOHNNY: Yes, it is I, and I is it.
Mario: So, did you two hear what happened to Koops?
Admiral Bobbery: No, is he all right?
Mario: He disappeared along with Iggy and Lemmy.
JOHNNY: Something smells fishy... and it's NOT me.
Luigi: I think you three should go out and look for him.
Mario: For once I agree with my foolish brother. Koops never bailed on us, now we can't bail on him.
Admiral Bobbery: Yeah. Do you want to come, JOHNNY?
JOHNNY: Sure, seeing as there are no poker halls around here.
Luigi: I know, I wish there was one.
Mario: Then it's settled, we leave tomorrow morning.
All four people go to bed for the night and wake up early. The next morning...
Mario: Morning Luigi, Bobbery, JOHNNY.
Admiral Bobbery: Speaking of Luigi and JOHNNY, where are they anyway?
Mario: Maybe they're downstairs. Let's go check.
Mario and Admiral Bobbery go down and look for the two, but can't find them and get worried.
Mario: Where could they be?
Just then, Luigi and JOHNNY walk in, looking tired as can be.
Luigi: Some fun at that casino, even though we didn't win a cent.
JOHNNY: But hey, in poker, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
Admiral Bobbery: Luigi, I thought you said there were no poker halls nearby.
Luigi: Actually, there is one a couple of miles away.
Mario: Is that why my check keeps vanishing day after day?
Luigi: ... Sort of.
JOHNNY: But poker and gambling are so addicting.
Luigi: Yeah, but tiring, so can we sleep all today and leave in the morning?
Mario: Fine.
The four go to sleep for the day... and the night, and wake up next morning.
Mario: Morn- Hey wait, where are Luigi and JOHNNY?
Admiral Bobbery: I don't know, but I'm willing to bet they are at the casino.
Just then, Luigi and Johnny walk in, but Luigi is wearing solid gold pants and a solid gold shirt, while JOHNNY has a solid gold necklace and hat.
Mario: Where did you guys win all that gold?
Luigi: We hit the jackpot at the casino and won MILLIONS of coins.
JOHNNY: Aye, after that we got into the private rooms and hung out with the moviestars, and we've still got a million coins left.
Admiral Bobbery: So how are we going to travel? If we go by land it may take us a couple of weeks. If we sail across the ocean it will take only a couple of days, but it will cost almost a million coins.
Mario, Admiral Bobbery, and Luigi look at JOHNNY, while JOHNNY looks at himself.
JOHNNY: All right, I guess I'll pay.
Mario: Then we'll leave in the morning since it's dark out.
Admiral Bobbery: But first we're chaining you two to your beds so you can't go to that casino.
Luigi and JOHNNY: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Mario: Why are you so addicted to poker, JOHNNY?
JOHNNY: One day under the sea, we were about to kill a trespasser when one of my minions noticed a deck of cards. He showed us how to play poker and then we killed him. We play poker several times a day.
Admiral Bobbery: Good night.
They all go to bed and wake up the next morning, and surprisingly Luigi and JOHNNY are right there.
Mario: JOHNNY, you're actually here.
JOHNNY: ...
Admiral Bobbery: Luigi, why isn't he speaking?
Luigi: He told me last night he was going to shun you guys for hating gambling and poker.
Mario: Gee, all we have for breakfast is fish. I sure can't wait to engorge those nice, fresh fish.
JOHNNNY: NO, you will not eat the fish!
Admiral Bobbery: Haha, you broke the shun!
JOHNNY: NOOOOOO!
Luigi: Well you guys can have a bagel or a bowl of cereal, then leave for the harbor.
Mario, Admiral Bobbery, and JOHNNY: Cereal!
Luigi: Man, no one eats bagels anymore.
The four eat up and head to the harbor to start their journey in search of Koops.
Back In Alabama...
Lemmy: Everyone knows what to do, right?
Dry Bones, Bob-ombs, Koopa Troopas, Goombas, and Hammer Bros: YES!
Iggy: Then move out and destroy this land!
Everyone: Yeah!
Koops: (This is bad. I can't go out there and fight against them, nor can I go out and search for the pipe, it's too dangerous. Something has to hit me...)
Back on Plit...
Mario: We're here to ride the boat to Rougeport.
Ticketmaster: Here you go; boat doesn't set sail for about a half hour. Get onboard and find your bunks.
Admiral Bobbery: Thanks.
JOHNNY: You wouldn't happen to have a poker room onboard, do you?
Mario slaps JOHNNY.
Ticketmaster: Actually below the decks the sailors sometimes play poker during their break.
JOHNNY: SWEEEET!
Mario and Admiral Bobbery: Oh great!
Meanwhile at the harbor...
People: Yo boss, ain't that Mario and his friend stepping on board?
Boss: Could it be? I think this is going to a good day, me homie G skittles biscuits.
People: Excellent.
Boss: Let's put on our sick, nasty sailor dreds, dogs.
People: Yeah yeha!
Boss: Eight tickets to the boat, man!
Ticketmaster: Sure thing!
Boss: You cool man; you're my homie G skittles biscuit, dog.
Ticketmaster: Thanks (I think).
Boss: What totally cool crib are we going to rock tonight?
Ticketmaster: It's two to a cabin, and you guys have rooms 6, 7, 8, and 9.
Boss: Peace out, dog!
On deck...
Mario: Wow, look at the view, it's amazing!
Admiral Bobbery: Yeah.
JOHNNY: I'm going to see if a poker game is starting up, see ya.
Mario: Let's go check out our cabin.
Person: Yo boss, it's them.
Boss: Let me handle this.
Admiral Bobbery: Hey, you the captain?
Boss: Yo dog, I'm the captain of this sick ride. You can call me Captain P Murc Drol.
Mario: We leaving soon?
Captain P Murc Drol: Yo, we leaving this cool port for the sick nasty sea, dog.
Admiral Bobbery: Man, our captain talks weird.
Mario: YEAH!
Captain P Murc Drol: Say what?
Admiral Bobbery: You're not supposed to say insults loudly, moron.
Captain P Murc Drol: I oughta throw you off this sick nasty ship, dog.
Mario: Sorry, see ya!
Under the docks...
JOHNNY: Poker, poker, I really like to gamble all day. Hey, what was that?
Person: So when you killing Mario, Boss?
Boss: Tomorrow night I will reveal my true identity to him when I attack him and his friends as they enter the dance room at the party we are going to have.
Person: You didn't talk like a gangsta.
Boss: NOOOOOOOOO, dog!
Person: What food should we have?
Boss: I got these sick Slow Shrooms to make those uncool dorks sluggish, dog!
Person: Quiet, I think we're being watched.
JOHNNY: ...
Boss: Tell the other of my homie G skittles biscuits.
Person: Yes!
JOHNNY: (running) I've got to tell Mario and Bobbery about the scam tomorrow night.
Back at the cabin...
JOHNNY: Guys, something fishy's onboard!
Admiral Bobbery: Oh yeah, you're right!
JOHNNY: You know!
Mario: Yeah, you really stink! Now go in the shower, and take a nice, long, shower.
Mario shoves JOHNNY in the shower.
Admiral Bobbery: And don't forget the soap!
The next morning...
JOHNNY: Morning. Hey wait, where did everyone go?
JOHNNY goes to check the clock.
JOHNNY: Wholly cow, it's already 10:30 in the morning, I overslept!
JOHNNY rushes out of the cabin to find Mario and Admiral Bobbery eating brunch.
Mario: Morning JOHNNY, boy you slept long.
JOHNNY: Guys, I have to tell you something important!
Admiral Bobbery: I do too; you just HAVE to try this.
Admiral Bobbery shoves the food in JOHNNY's mouth.
JOHNNY: This is REALLY good, what's it made of?
Waiter: This is 100 percent pure fish a crew member caught.
JOHNNY: ...
JOHNNY rushs to the bathroom. In the captain's room...
Captain P Murc Drol: Come in this sick crib, dog.
Person: Yo dude, know the fish thing?
Captain P Murc Drol: Sure do, dog.
Person: I think he may know about our plan.
Captain P Murc Drol: What?! Yo, where is that stupid dog?
Person: He's in the bathroom, dude.
Captain P Murc Drol: Lock the sick, nasty door from the outer side; we can't let that dude know about our sick, nasty plan, dog.
Person: Right, I'll get to work, dude.
Later in the afternoon...
JOHNNY: Ok, I'm feeling better, so now I'd better tell Mario and Bobbery.
JOHNNY tries to get out, but the door won't budge.
JOHNNY: No, it's locked. This really stinks because I left my spear in the cabin. HEELLLLLLLLP!
Later on the ship...
Captain P Murc Drol: Yo dogs, sup. We're having a party tonight on the front deck and you dudes are invited.
Mario: Sweet. By the way, have you seen Jonathan Johnny Jones, the shark-pirate?
Captain P Murc Drol: NOOOOO! Why do you dudes accuse me all the time?
Admiral Bobbery: Well, sorry.
Captain P Murc Drol: I'm going back to my shift. (aside) Hey you out there, yeah you, the reader-dude person. You may have figured out my sick nasty identity, but don't tell Mario and the dorky bomb who I am. Thanks dog, you cool man!
Mario: What's up with the captain?
Admiral Bobbery: Maybe he's mental.
Mario: Yeah, let's go search for JOHNNY and tell him about the party.
Back in the bathroom...
JOHNNY: Oh I give up! There's no way to get out! Hey, I hear voices.
Person 1: So, did you hear? That stupid, gambling-addicted fish is still locked in the bathroom.
Person 2: What a moron. Let's just be glad he doesn't know the toilet is an escape portal.
Person 1: Yeah.
JOHNNY: I really dont want to, but I've got to. Besides, I'm part shark; this should be a piece of cake.
JOHNNY jumps in the toilet and gets warped through. He appears in some other bathroom.
JOHNNY: Time to go and find Mario and Bobbery.
JOHNNY opens the door only to find a shocking surprise.
Captain P Murc Drol: Yo, it's him! Trap him, dogs!
A person slams the bathroom door shut, and another one slams the entrance door shut.
Captain P Murc Drol: You thought we were clueless that you knew, but we dogs are so smart we know all the details, my homie G skittles biscuit.
JOHNNY: Don't move or I'll tell Mario your true identity.
Captain P Murc Drol: Yeah, ok dog, then speak the truth.
JOHNNY: Fine, your real name is-
Captain P Murc Drol stuffs a shoe in JOHNNY's mouth and ties him to a chair.
Captain P Murc Drol: Sorry yo, if you say my real name, the reader dude will know.
JOHNNY: Mmpphh mmpphh!
Person: Are you mental, dude?
Captain P Murc Drol: No dude, no. Hey JOHNNY, tonight after the party where we kill Mario, we're going to roll you off the sick nasty plank into the sea, dog.
Later that night at the party...
Mario: Gee, sure is nice to have thrown a party just for us.
Captain P Murc Drol: No, big dog, you are the sick nasty Mario and Bobbery.
Admiral Bobbery: Say, when's the danceoff?
Captain P Murc Drol: The music cranks in ten minutes, my homie G skittles biscuit.
Back in the captain's room...
JOHNNY: (How can I escape? I know, I could eat the rope. It may taste bad but I've got to.)
JOHNNY swallows the sock and engorges the rope like spaghetti, and manages to break free.
JOHNNY: Now to go tell Mario and Bobbery.
Back at the party room...
Captain P Murc Drol: You dogs ready to break it down?
Mario and Admiral Bobbery: Yeah yeah!
Captain P Murc Drol: Great, enter here, dogs.
Mario and Admiral Bobbery are about to walk into the room when who should show up but JOHNNY.
JOHNNY: Mario, Bobbery, don't walk in there, it'd a trap!
Captain P Murc Drol: How did this dog get here?
JOHNNY: Hey Captain, your real identity is Lord Crump, the X-Naut leader, and the crew members are X-Nauts.
Lord Crump: Not cool, man. You going to pay for this, dude.
Mario: I thought you were done for after we stopped your plan.
Lord Crump: That was Grodus, dog. Now I go by the name C-Dog, the leader of the X-Gang. But for now, call me Lord Crump.
Admiral Bobbery: Why did you trap JOHNNY?
Lord Crump: When I saw you dogs come onboard, I thought this would be the perfect time to get some sick nasty revenge. So I killed the captain and took over the ship. Then that fish dude became suspicious of our plan so I locked him in the bathroom, then in my office. When you two fell for my trap and walked in the room, I was going to detach the room and roll it into the sea, then right when it hit the sea the doors would open so you two would drown. But because of that fish dude, my plan failed, dog.
Mario: Now you did it, now you're going to get a personal pounding from all three of us.
Lord Crump: Oh boo hoo, three against one. X-Nauts!
Admiral Bobbery: Oh great, now it's three against eight!
Lord Crump: We'll teach you never to show your face in this world again!
Just then, the ship turns dark, a low, eerie noise is heard, and a mysterious Boo slowly comes up from the floorboards.
Boo: Yyyyyoooooouuuuu gggguuuuuyyyyysss tttttoooooookkkkk mmmyyyyy sssshhhhhhiiiippp aaaaannnnndddddd kkkkkkiiiiiillllllleeeedddddd mmmmmeeeeee. Tttttiiiimmmmmeeeee fffffooorrrr yyyyoooooouuuuu ttttttoooo dddddiiiiiieeeeee!
The Boo places a Bob-omb on the floor.
Bob-omb: Self-destruct in ten seconds.
Mario: It's-a going to blow! Run!
Lord Crump: Everyone out!
Everyone starts rushing out of the room.
Bob-omb: Eight seconds 'til self-destruction.
JOHNNY: We won't make it!
Bob-omb: Six seconds.
Admiral Bobbery: This may be the end!
Bob-omb: Four, three...
X-Naut: I want a soda!
Lord Crump: This isn't the time to drink, dog.
Bob-omb: Two, one, BOOM!
Mario: Ahh!
Admiral Bobbery: Ahh!
JOHNNY: Ahh!
Lord Crump: Ahh, dog!
X-Nauts: Gee, I'm still thirsty but, Ahh!
Everyone gets blasted off the ship. After a while of drifting, Mario, Bobbery, and JOHNNY wash up on an unfamiliar shore.
Mario: (coughing up water) Where are we?
Admiral Bobbery: I'm not sure.
JOHNNY: I have the strangest feeling about this island.
Voice: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Mario: What was that?
Admiral Bobbery: I think it came from the woods.
Voice: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
JOHNNY: I think we should find a place to rest for the night.
Mario: Yeah, we can build a shelter.
Voice: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Admiral Bobbery: Let's just build it fast and make it strong.
After about an hour (and a lot of "Oooooooo"s) the three finish their sandstone shelter.
JOHNNY: Well, tomorrow we've got to go through the woods if we want to make it to Petalburg and find Koops.
Mario: Yeah, I hope we find him, right Bobbery?
Admiral Bobbery: Zzzz.
JOHNNY: Bobbery's right, let's get a good, long sleep.
Mario: See you in the morning.
Will the three find Koops? Will they even survive the night? What was the weird noise? Find out next time.