Prologue:
Somewhere in space, there is a clan of aliens. These creatures are the most horrifying, terrible, idiotic species ever known. Who are they?
The Rabbids.
This is a tale of their invasion of a heroic plumber’s planet.
In one of the Rabbid Spacesubs (like in Raving Rabbids 2)…
A big crowd of Rabbids are gathered in one room, clamoring and shouting. A stage comes up in the middle of the group. Sergueï, a giant, black Rabbid is standing on the stage. He pulls out a small blackboard and a small stick. He shows the blackboard, which has a picture of a small planet. On top is a castle. He points the stick at the planet drawing and then at the castle, then breaks the blackboard in half. The Rabbids cheer and the spacesub they’re in, leading a fleet of spacesubs, heads toward the illustrated planet.
Chapter 1:
This planet is home to none other than Mario and… whoever that green guy is. On this fine day, a party is being held at the princess’ castle (of course there is).
“Come on, Luigi,” Mario shouts over his back, “we’ll be late for the princess’ party! You know how she is about tardiness!”
“Yes, yes, I’m coming!” replies… who is that green man? Oh well.
Mario and Luigi head to the princess’ castle. They arrive and are surprised to find everyone outside, looking in the sky.
“What’s going on?” asks Mario.
“There’s these weird submarines up in the sky,” replies Princess Peach. “They appeared this morning.”
Mario and… his brother, I guess, look up into the sky and see the same submarines the princess spoke of. Suddenly, the submarines begin to come down to land- on everybody! Everyone rushes into the castle and looks out the windows. Groups of people are inside, shoving and pushing through the crowd to see the submarines land. Mario sees it all: the submarines land, and out of them step these strange bunnies. The princess stares in aw. Yes, I mean aw. Not awe. Aw.
“Aww! They’re so cute!” Princess Peach says.
She goes and opens the door and rushes out to greet the newcomers.
“Welcome to the Mushroom Kingdom,” she says. “Who might you be?”
The strange creatures simply stare. Some of them smile. Some of them look in fright. One steps forward and smiles at her. Toadsworth comes rushing out to the princess.
“Princess! I advise you! Stay away from these horrid creatures!” he shouts.
“Horrid? Why they look adorable and kind! How could they be horrid?” she retorts.
Toadsworth sees the one looking at her reaching to touch her. “Get away from her!” Toadsworth shouts.
Acting as quick as a wink, Toadsworth whacks the creature with his cane, sending it flying. As the creature soars, it screams.
“BWAAH!!!”
A thud is heard off in the distance. All the creatures stare at Toadswroth in fright. They all scream and run back in the submarines. Toadsworth rushes the princess inside the castle.
“Well, why’d you do that?! Now they’ll think WE’RE horrid! I was welcoming them in hopes of them becoming our friends!” the princess shouts.
Mario is still looking curiously out the window. “Look, everyone,” he says.
Everyone’s attention is drawn outside. The creatures are coming out of the submarines, wielding plungers. Suddenly, they come barging into the castle!
The creatures are flailing their plungers, running left and right and chasing helpless Toads! The princess is rushed into her room by Toadsworth, who is hit in the back with a plunger before he can close the door. The princess shuts the door and locks it. She goes to Toadsworth, who’s KO’d because he fell so hard from the impact of the plunger when it hit his small body.
“Toadsworth, wake up! Please!” the princess cries.
“Sing me a song, Mommy…” replies Toadsworth, talking in his sleep.
“I’m not Mommy! Wake up, please!” the princess says.
“Song…” Toadsworth faintly says.
The princess reluctantly starts singing in hopes of waking Toadsworth. Outside, Sergueï hears her and calls a Rabbid with a bandaged head, named Professor Barranco. Barranco comes and Sergueï speaks with him.
“Wasaba maja bejee?” says Sergueï, speaking in the strange Rabbid language.
“Radado, wakatowa meeka singer?” says Barranco.
Sergueï nods. Barranco gives a thumbs-up as if to say, “Great idea!”
Sergueï rams his enormous body through the door, much to the fright of Peach. She sreams and begins to violently shake Toadsworth.
“Toadsworth! Please wake up! Toadsworth!” she screams.
Sergueï reaches out and grabs the princess with one hand. Then, he turns around and carries her out. He lumbers down the stairs, the princess in his hand screaming.
“MARIO!” screams she.
Mario is blasting at Rabbids with fireballs and swinging at them with his own plunger, which they appear to see as a weapon. He hears the princess’ screams and turns around to see her being carried out by Sergueï.
“Mamamia!” he shouts, rushing toward the gargantuan Rabbid.
He rushes outside, only to be welcomed by a strange robot bearing little resemblance to the Rabbids, named Pink. Mario at first is going to just rush by the robot, but it launches a missile at him!
BOOM!!!
Mario is sent flying through the castle doors! He is able to get back up and rushes outside, only to find Sergueï boarding one of the submarines and flying off, with the princess!
“PEEAACH!!!” Mario cries.
“MAARIIOO!!!” Peach shouts.
Mario is again hit in the back with a missile from Pink, then is caught in the explosion of the robot after it is hit by one of its own missiles.
Mario lays on
the ground unconscious.
Chapter 2: The Conquering of Bowser’s Castle
“Mario? Mario!”
“Uuhhh…”
“Mario! Wake up!”
“Wha? Ugh… Mario’s not here at the moment, please take a message after the… SNOOREE…”
“MARIO!”
“WHA?!”
Mario springs to his feet and looks all around him. He sees Luigi by his bedside.
“I thought you’d never wake up!” exclaims Luigi.
“I had the most horrid dream! Strange bunnies kidnapped Peach!” says Mario.
“… Mario… that… did happen.”
Mario’s eyes grow to the size of saucers.
“No!”
“Yes. Peach was kidnapped and the castle was taken over. We could’ve saved it, but once you went out, everything was lost. That robot that shot you almost killed you, I killed him with this.”
Luigi holds up a strange gun.
“What is THAT?”
“A plunger gun. I stole it from one of the bunnies. As the name implies, it shoots… plungers. I shot the robot’s missile and the missile blew up the robot.”
“What if the bunnies come here?! We can’t take on a whole army at once!”
“All we can do is try. That always seems to work around here.”
“I wonder where the bunnies will attack next.”
Meanwhile at Koopa Kastle…
Roy and Larry are watching Star Wars IV.
“Darth Vader is scary,” Larry remarks, shuddering.
“Oh please! Quit being such a baby! There’s no such thing as aliens!” snaps Roy.
“What about the Shroobs, huh?”
“Well… shut up.”
The doorbell is heard.
“I’ll get it!” Larry shouts.
He gets up and goes to the door. He opens it and sees Sergueï. Larry is frozen with fear. He opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. He inhales and screams, “DAARTH VAADEER!!! ALIIEENS!!! AAAHHH- MPH!”
He’s muffled by Sergueï’s giant hand, which covers Larry’s entire face. Sergueï tosses Larry aside and lets out a bellowing, “BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!”
Rabbids of all shapes and sizes, wielding weapons (household items, really) of all kinds, come flooding into the castle.
“YAAH!!” Roy screams.
The Rabbids come charging in, flailing their weapons and jumping through the air. One Rabbid, dressed like Superman, flies over to Roy using jetpacks.
“Come get some!” screams Roy, trying to disguise his fear.
The bunny, Clark, simply sends Roy flying away with a super-powered punch. Roy is instantly KO’d.
Wendy comes out of her room to see what all the commotion is about. “WHAAT’S GOOIING OON?!”
A Rabbid comes upstairs and runs over to her. He simply stares at her. She stares back.
“AAHHH!!!!” she screams.
“BWAAH!!!” he screams.
“AAHHH!!!!”
“BWAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…”
Wendy faints from air loss. The Rabbid whacks her on the head with his spatula. He calls more Rabbids upstairs with a loud, “BWAAH!!” More rabbids come upstairs, flailing their weapons.
Meanwhile, Lemmy and Iggy are in their rooms playing Monopoly.
“Yes! Now you shall begin your dark descent of doom into the Chocolate Swamp! I shall take great joy in your screams as Gloppy the Chocolate Monster eats you!” cackles Iggy.
“But we’re playing Monopoly, you’re thinking of Candy Land.”
“Lemmy, I’m happy, don’t spoil it for me.”
“Hey, did you just hear something?”
“Like a bunch of screaming and banging around?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh-huh.”
Suddenly, a Rabbid busts through the door. Lemmy and Iggy scream.
“Hit it with something!” screeches Iggy.
Lemmy picks up the board game and throws it at the Rabbid’s head. The Rabbid is sent tumbling to the floor. Lemmy and Iggy make a dash out of the room, stepping on the Rabbid on the way out. They go into the hall to see Rabbids rushing through it like rush-hour traffic. Lemmy and Iggy take out their wands. Lemmy blasts Rabbids and duels with a few, Iggy does the same. Suddenly, a beam of energy goes whizzing past Lemmy’s head and hits a Rabbid. A giant forcefield is formed around the Rabbid, engulfing a bunch more Rabbids. The Rabbids try to push through the forcefield, only to make it start rolling down the hall, flattening more Rabbids along the way. Lemmy and Iggy look in the direction of where the shot came from and see Ludwig holding, no doubt, his latest weird-looking gun. Behind him are the rest of the Koopalings, minus Roy and Wendy.
“Hurry! We must warn King Dad!” shouts Ludwig.
The Koopalings make a run for Bowser’s room, which is at the end of the hall, flailing weapons that Ludwig stole from the Rabbids.
Ludwig is tackled by a Rabbid, who takes his gun and shoots at the Rabbids in the forcefield. The Rabbids that were inside the forcefield dog pile on Ludwig.
“Go get Ki-” Ludwig is muffled before he can finish.
The rest of the Koopalings continue down the hall. A Rabbid comes running by with one of Larry’s plants. The plant bites Larry as the Rabbid runs by. “OUCH!” he exclaims.
He falls to the floor and is taken by Rabbids. “AHH!!! GUYS!!! SAVE ME!!!!!” he shouts.
Morton is about to follow, but Lemmy stops him. “They’ll take you too!” Lemmy says.
The rest of the Koopalings continue; only Lemmy, Iggy, and Morton remain. They make it to Bowser’s room at the end of the hall. They shut the double doors as soon as they come in. They run to Bowser with tear-filled eyes.
“King Dad! They took Larry and Ludwig!” sobs Iggy.
“Yeah! And we don’t know what happened to Roy and Wendy!” weeps Morton.
“Who did?” asks Bowser.
“These aliens! They’re running all over the castle! We don’t have much time ‘tll-”
Lemmy is cut off because at that moment, Sergueï barges through the door, letting out a ground-shaking “BBWWWAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”
Bowser immediately leaps into action, grabbing Sergueï by the throat and falling to the ground on top of him.
Bowser and Sergueï have it out with each other. The Rabbids are cheering Sergueï on and the Koopalings are whooping and hollering for Bowser. Bowser bares his claws and slashes Sergueï’s face. Sergueï throws Bowser off of him and gets up. Before Bowser has a chance to get back to his feet, Sergueï snaps his fingers and the Rabbids come in and start beating Bowser with their weapons. Morton toasts one Rabbid with his flame breath. That Rabbid is covered in soot and falls to the floor. Sergueï reacts by grabbing Morton and tossing him into the hall to be carried away.
“NO! WAAIIT! PLEEAASEE! AAAHHHH…” screams the terrified Morton.
Bowser roars and throws a Rabbid at Sergueï. Sergueï is hit in the face with the incoming troop. Bowser uses his flame breath on the surrounding Rabbids, causing them all to fall to the floor. He launches himself at Sergueï with is mouth open, letting out a stream of flame breath. Sergueï’s metal muzzle is red hot and he slams his face into Bowser’s. Bowser is burned, aching all over, and KO’d. Sergueï throws him into the crowd of Rabbids in the hall and Bowser, the defeated King of the Koopas, is carried away to become the Rabbids’ next captive.
Sergueï eyes Lemmy and Iggy. They stare at him through terrified eyes. He lunges for them but they jump through the giant window in Bowser’s room.
“In your shell!” shouts Lemmy.
He and Iggy retract into their shells and land unharmed. They look back at their former castle and take off for parts unknown… to us.
“Where are we going?” Iggy asks Lemmy.
“To form a resistance. Someone’s got to stop these aliens, Iggy. Why don’t we take the job?”
Iggy nods ever so slightly. With that, they cross over a hill and leave their former castle behind.
And Then...
This story is
not being formally finished by its author, but a summary of the rest of
the story can be found here.
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still eligible for a Trimming as long as it follows the basic structure
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