Super Mario and Wario Galaxy

Started by Waluigi's Twin

The Terrace

Good Egg Galaxy

Star 3: King Kaliente’s Battle Fleet

By Slimer49'r

Wario and Mario land in the Good Egg Galaxy. Mario sighs.

Wario: What's your problem.?

Mario: Well, it's just that I'm not really sure how much Peach likes me anymore... It's tiring rescuing her constantly. Does she even put up a fight when Bowser comes around? Does she only get kidnapped for Bowser?

Mario looks over and notices Wario is sleeping.

Wario: Whuh-huh?

Mario: (fuming) Hey! You weren't even listening, were you? You know what, Wario, you're just a great big-

Wario: Aw, stop your complaining. Let's just go.

Mario glares, and the two jump up on the house and use the Launch Star. They are transported to a sandy, beach-like planet.

Wario: Oh look! It's a Toad trapped in a crystal!

He sticks his tongue out at it and laughs. Mario whacks him in the back of the head before freeing the fungi.

Toad: Thanks, guys!

Wario: All right, the saving tollbooth is coming up... Ding! 100 coins, please.

Wario holds his arm out like a barrier and holds his palm out with the other. The Toad reluctantly hands over a hundred coin. Mario tosses the Toad a 20 when the lard isn't looking. They run through some water and come across a spiny plant. Wario grabs a coconut and hurls it at the plant. It dissapears, and in its place is a Launch Star.

Mario: Always force with you.

Wario: Pshh.

They use it and are flipped onto a similar planet, and are confronted by a Pokey. Before Mario can think, Wario takes the coconut and hurls it. WHAM.

Wario: Problem solved.

They use the warp, and fly to a planet with Chomps, but quickly fly off due to the warp already there. Now they land on the bottom of a planet with lasers. Wario rushes forward and is electrecuted. He falls back, blackened.

Mario: Maybe we should...

Wario slams into the lasers repeatedly, his tiny mind thinking that they would be destroyed after enough hits.

Wario: Gladabladablahdablah!

Mario: ...go around.

Wario notices that there is a way around.

Wario: Meh, shortcuts are for wimps!

He gets shocked twice more before thinking maybe he should take Mario's advice. Mario goes around and Wario follows. They wind up on a grassy planet with cannons.

Wario: Ahh!

Not to mention giant Chomps.

Wario: Ahhhhh!

And those little blue alien things.

Wario: Meh, not that scary.

Wario grabs an airborne Bullet Bill and chucks it at the cannon system, completely obliterating it.

Wario: Brute force, 3; Thinking, 1!

Mario: Hmnn, that's actually quite surprising.

They run up to the warp, now in rubble, and blast off. They approach doomships, and Mario grits his teeth.

Mario: Ugh... Bowser might be near.

Wario: Eh, I can take him.

Mario: No, I'm worried because it seems like every six or seven years, once in a blue moon, Bowser actually puts up a threat! Why do you suppose that is?

Wario: Powers beyond our comprehension, I suppose.

Mario: Wow, where'd you learn "comprehension"?

Wario: Eh, saw it on a billboard.

Mario: Ah.

They land on the ship. They backflip into the air and slam the two coconuts back at two squid creatures. They go down, and the bridge falls.

Wario: I believe that's four.

They run across the bridge, Mario perplexed. They bound up the stairs and use the warp there. They wind up on the bottom of a planet.

Wario: Least there's no lasers this time.

They run up to the top and gander at the texture of the ground, and at the pool of lava in the center.

Wario: Hey, is this chocolate?

Mario bends down and tastes some.

Mario: Hmmm, yeah, I think it is!

A monsterous figure bursts from the lava, blowing steam out his nose.

Kaliente: AHHHHHHHHHHhhhh... Wait, I'm sorry. Am I having company?

He blows his nose again.

Kaliente: (British accent): Sorry, chaps. I have a bit of a cold. What was it that you wanted?

Mario: Well, the welcome from your army wasn't too warm.

Kaliente: Oh, ever so sorry, old bean. They get defensive.

Mario: Yeah, okay. I was wondering if you could let us have the Star you have.

Kaliente: Hmmn... Okay. That seems reasonable. Bowser gave it to me, but I really have no use for it.

Mario: Wow, thanks man!

Wario starts to laugh, and they both turn.

Wario: Wow, what an ugly nose! In fact, everything about you is ugly!

Mario shakes his head back and forth at the other, panicking. Kaliente's eyes start to water.

Kaliente: Hey... That's a birth defect, man... And I wouldn't call you gorgeous either....

Wario: Yeah, well I bet your mother was a fat cow!

Kaliente: (lip quivering) M-M-Mom? S-sh-she always had a weight problem... THAT'S IT, YOU DIE NOW!!!

He slams the lava angrily. Mario runs over and throttles Wario.

Mario: You MORON!

Kaliente's nose shoots out flames and he spits coconuts at them. Mario leaps into the air and throws two coconuts at his head.

Kaliente: OW!

He starts wimpering.

Kaliente: I won't forget this, you liars!

He disappears in a puff of smoke. Wario smiles and Mario glares at him.

Wario: What?

Mario walks over to the Star.

Mario: That could've been another point for logic and reason- but NOOO, you had to screw it up.

Wario recoils from Mario's evil eye. They grab onto the Star and return to the Observatory.
 

Go back to Super Mario and Wario Galaxy.
Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.