Wario and Mario land in the Good Egg Galaxy. Mario sighs.
Wario: What's your problem.?
Mario: Well, it's just that I'm not really sure how much Peach likes me anymore... It's tiring rescuing her constantly. Does she even put up a fight when Bowser comes around? Does she only get kidnapped for Bowser?
Mario looks over and notices Wario is sleeping.
Wario: Whuh-huh?
Mario: (fuming) Hey! You weren't even listening, were you? You know what, Wario, you're just a great big-
Wario: Aw, stop your complaining. Let's just go.
Mario glares, and the two jump up on the house and use the Launch Star. They are transported to a sandy, beach-like planet.
Wario: Oh look! It's a Toad trapped in a crystal!
He sticks his tongue out at it and laughs. Mario whacks him in the back of the head before freeing the fungi.
Toad: Thanks, guys!
Wario: All right, the saving tollbooth is coming up... Ding! 100 coins, please.
Wario holds his arm out like a barrier and holds his palm out with the other. The Toad reluctantly hands over a hundred coin. Mario tosses the Toad a 20 when the lard isn't looking. They run through some water and come across a spiny plant. Wario grabs a coconut and hurls it at the plant. It dissapears, and in its place is a Launch Star.
Mario: Always force with you.
Wario: Pshh.
They use it and are flipped onto a similar planet, and are confronted by a Pokey. Before Mario can think, Wario takes the coconut and hurls it. WHAM.
Wario: Problem solved.
They use the warp, and fly to a planet with Chomps, but quickly fly off due to the warp already there. Now they land on the bottom of a planet with lasers. Wario rushes forward and is electrecuted. He falls back, blackened.
Mario: Maybe we should...
Wario slams into the lasers repeatedly, his tiny mind thinking that they would be destroyed after enough hits.
Wario: Gladabladablahdablah!
Mario: ...go around.
Wario notices that there is a way around.
Wario: Meh, shortcuts are for wimps!
He gets shocked twice more before thinking maybe he should take Mario's advice. Mario goes around and Wario follows. They wind up on a grassy planet with cannons.
Wario: Ahh!
Not to mention giant Chomps.
Wario: Ahhhhh!
And those little blue alien things.
Wario: Meh, not that scary.
Wario grabs an airborne Bullet Bill and chucks it at the cannon system, completely obliterating it.
Wario: Brute force, 3; Thinking, 1!
Mario: Hmnn, that's actually quite surprising.
They run up to the warp, now in rubble, and blast off. They approach doomships, and Mario grits his teeth.
Mario: Ugh... Bowser might be near.
Wario: Eh, I can take him.
Mario: No, I'm worried because it seems like every six or seven years, once in a blue moon, Bowser actually puts up a threat! Why do you suppose that is?
Wario: Powers beyond our comprehension, I suppose.
Mario: Wow, where'd you learn "comprehension"?
Wario: Eh, saw it on a billboard.
Mario: Ah.
They land on the ship. They backflip into the air and slam the two coconuts back at two squid creatures. They go down, and the bridge falls.
Wario: I believe that's four.
They run across the bridge, Mario perplexed. They bound up the stairs and use the warp there. They wind up on the bottom of a planet.
Wario: Least there's no lasers this time.
They run up to the top and gander at the texture of the ground, and at the pool of lava in the center.
Wario: Hey, is this chocolate?
Mario bends down and tastes some.
Mario: Hmmm, yeah, I think it is!
A monsterous figure bursts from the lava, blowing steam out his nose.
Kaliente: AHHHHHHHHHHhhhh... Wait, I'm sorry. Am I having company?
He blows his nose again.
Kaliente: (British accent): Sorry, chaps. I have a bit of a cold. What was it that you wanted?
Mario: Well, the welcome from your army wasn't too warm.
Kaliente: Oh, ever so sorry, old bean. They get defensive.
Mario: Yeah, okay. I was wondering if you could let us have the Star you have.
Kaliente: Hmmn... Okay. That seems reasonable. Bowser gave it to me, but I really have no use for it.
Mario: Wow, thanks man!
Wario starts to laugh, and they both turn.
Wario: Wow, what an ugly nose! In fact, everything about you is ugly!
Mario shakes his head back and forth at the other, panicking. Kaliente's eyes start to water.
Kaliente: Hey... That's a birth defect, man... And I wouldn't call you gorgeous either....
Wario: Yeah, well I bet your mother was a fat cow!
Kaliente: (lip quivering) M-M-Mom? S-sh-she always had a weight problem... THAT'S IT, YOU DIE NOW!!!
He slams the lava angrily. Mario runs over and throttles Wario.
Mario: You MORON!
Kaliente's nose shoots out flames and he spits coconuts at them. Mario leaps into the air and throws two coconuts at his head.
Kaliente: OW!
He starts wimpering.
Kaliente: I won't forget this, you liars!
He disappears in a puff of smoke. Wario smiles and Mario glares at him.
Wario: What?
Mario walks over to the Star.
Mario: That could've been another point for logic and reason- but NOOO, you had to screw it up.
Wario recoils
from Mario's evil eye. They grab onto the Star and return to the Observatory.