The Loopdeeloop Galaxy: Man ta Rays are brutal today! Hahahhaha… You get what you pay for, folks.
Shadow Mario can be seen soaring through space toward the Loopdeeloop Galaxy.
Shadow Mario: Hey Silver. Why is this place called the Loopdeeloop Galaxy if there are no loops?
Silver: I honestly don’t know, Papa. What I do know though is that… BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Shadow Mario: What the fire truck is with the car alarm?! Did you touch her, Yux?!
Yux: How can I? I’m trapped underneath your discusting armpit…
Shadow Mario: Don’t think that you’re off the hook, Buddy. You’re still suspect number one in my book!
Silver: BEEP BEEP BEEP… Sorry about that. That’s my alarm system that alerts me to whenever a comet is passing by a galaxy.
Shadow Mario: So?
Silver: So that means that something is going to be different about this galaxy!
Shadow Mario: Oh… Yay?
Silver: You don’t care, do you, Papa?
Shadow Mario: Not in the slightest.
They pass by the ominous blue comet. An evil chuckle can be heard.
Yux: Did you hear something?
Shadow Mario: Of course I didn’t hear something! Only dumb secondary characters are allowed to hear ominous sounds! Didn’t you pay attention in generic story school?!
Yux: I guess I must have fallen asleep during that class.
Shadow Mario: I fell asleep during that lecture too.
Yux: But then how did you know…
Shadow Mario: Oh look, we’re finally here!
Yux: DAD I hate you.
Shadow Mario lands safely on the green grass, while Yux impales a Penguin.
Yux: I’m starting to think this impaling thing is going to become a running gag.
Giant Penguin: Hello, dudes and dudettes! Are you ready for some Manta Ray surfing?!
Shadow Mario: Not really.
Giant Penguin: Aww, Bro, don’t be trippen like that!
Shadow Mario: How about I make you be trippen!
Yux: Worst, comeback line, ever.
Shadow Mario: Shut up, Yux.
He spins into the Penguin, knocking it into the water. From there Shadow Mario begins to blast the Penguin with Star Bits until he falls out the other side and into space.
Silver: Was that really necessary, Papa?
Shadow Mario: Yes it was, my Luma friend. More so then you can possibly imagine.
He stands there having an audible flashback to the time when a surfer murdered his family… I’ll let your imagination run wild with that image.
Silver: …
Yux: I’m not seeing Shady’s ship. He must be further ahead of us.
Shadow Mario: Well let’s head back to the Observatory then.
Before he can leave, space particles from the blue comet form into…
Cosmic Mario: …
Shadow Mario: …
Yux: Oh sweet DAD Jr, there are two of them! AHHHHH!!!
Silver: (hiding underneath Shadow Mario’s hat) It’s too horrible to look at!
Cosmic Mario: Hehe. Who are you supposed to be, ya freak?
Shadow Mario: I’m Mario’s doppelganger, and I’m pretty sure your steppen in my territory, you lousy carbon copy of a lousy carbon copy!
Cosmic Mario: How do we know that YOU’RE not the lousy carbon copy’s carbon copy, Mr. Rip-Off?
Shadow Mario: Oh, it’s on now, boyz!
Cosmic Mario: Bring it!
Cosmic Mario jumps on a Manta Ray.
Cosmic Mario: First one to the finish line wins!
Shadow Mario: Perfect!
Yux: Um… Shadow Mario? Aren’t you, like, afraid of water or something? You were afraid to go in it during the last two FFs. I think that was because you said something about it being your weakness or something, but that wouldn’t make sense because in Super Mario Sunshine there was a moment or two where you did touch down in water, and…
Shadow Mario grabs Yux and throws him into the water face down before jumping on him. He struggles for a bit and then remains eerily quiet.
Shadow Mario: Start the countdown, Silver!
Silver: Right away, Papa! 3… 2… 1… GO!
Cosmic Mario zooms ahead while Shadow Mario sits there floating.
Shadow Mario: (kicking Yux) Move, darn you! … Aw, to the Underwhere with this!
He points his hands backwards and fires Star Bits rapidly, causing him to zoom along next to Cosmic Mario.
Cosmic Mario: Oh no you don’t!
They slam into each other. Cosmic Mario starts beating down on Shadow Mario’s arms.
Shadow Mario: Ow! Silver, can you be a good little girl and grab Papa’s knife from out of his back pocket?
Silver: Sure!
She flies down Shadow Mario back, grabs the knife, than stabs Cosmic Mario in the arm.
Cosmic Mario: @@$$%^%$#!
Shadow Mario: Take that, freak!
Silver: Look out for that corner, Papa!
Shadow Mario: Huh?
Cosmic Mario turns the corner while Shadow Mario soars off the liquidy track into space.
Cosmic Mario: See ya later, Mr. Rip-off!
Shadow Mario: Don’t you dare think this race is over!
He jumps off Yux’s body, causing Yux to fall to his doom. Next, Shadow Mario uses the Star Bits to propel himself towards the track, grabs onto one of the loopdeeloop rings…
Shadow Mario: Oh so THIS is why it’s called the Loopdeeloop Galaxy!
…and then jumps off the ring and onto Cosmic Mario’s Manta Ray.
Cosmic Mario: What the Zolo?! How in the name of @#%^&%$ did that work?!
Shadow Mario: I’m just as confused as you are. Now… ROUND HOUSE KICK OF DOOM!
He kicks him off the Ray and into the water. As Shadow Mario crosses the finish line, Cosmic Mario summons a turtle shell and uses it to float back to dry land.
Cosmic Mario: You may have won this battle, but I’ll be back! Ya hear me, copy’s copy?! I’ll be…
Shadow Mario: Yeah sure, whatever. Now get out of here before I call the cops.
Cosmic Mario disappears into his comet and flies away.
Shadow Mario: Well that was action-packed and entertaining.
Silver: Hey Papa, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question. Where did you get all those Star Bits?
Shadow Mario: Um… That’s a very good question, Silver. While I can’t tell you exactly how I got them, I can assure you that it is totally not the Observatories’ food rations.
Silver: … We’re all going to starve to death, aren’t we, Papa?
Shadow Mario: Pretty much.
Meanwhile…
Yux wakes up while fallimg.
Yux: Ahhh! … Oh man, I had this horrible dream, Shadow, Mario where you sent me falling to my death. Pretty funny, right? …
He looks around.
Yux: … Oh, you’re so dead, Shadow. RANDOMIZE!
He glows, then stops.
Yux: The good news is…
An updraft sends him flying all the way back up into the air above the Manta Ray track.
Meanwhile again…
Shadow Mario: I have this sudden urge to say that the bad news is…
Yux impales Shadow Mario in the head.
Shadow Mario: Ow! My brain! I need that for playing Fire Emblem!
Or…
Read on
Silver: We highly suggest you stop reading right now, unplug the computer from the wall, and proceed in burning it in a holy fire so that the demons may be extinguished from your place of living.
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