The Amazing Race MK

By Giga Bowser NS

EPISODE 10: Destination: Bob-omb Battlefield
Title: These are coin posts! They’re infused with magical-ness-stuff…

Phil: Previously on: The Amazing Race MK. Teams fought with the airports’ constantly changing schedules, trying to secure a flight into Grass Land. A misstep in flight plans led Toad and Toadette into Desert Land, where sandstorms proved to be a problem.

Toad: Right over here in delayedsville.

Phil: Teams found the sprawling yet continuously repetitive landscape of Grass Land to be confusing. To them, everything looked the same. Teams enjoyed a skydiving adventure in Grass Land Plains.

5 Replays at once: YAAAAAH/WAAAAAH/WHOOOOO/etc…

Phil: In the end, Toad and Toadette could not recover from their bad flight connection, coming in last. They were eliminated. Now, only four teams remain. There is only one more elimination round. Who will be the final team to be eliminated?

The opening plays with a new red X over Toad and Toadette

Phil: This, is scenic Grass Land, the very first land Mario journeyed through in his second princess-rescuing adventure. Seemingly endless grassy landscapes go on for miles and miles, dotted with block platforms and pipes. Many of these pipes lead to secret areas, like this one. This was the ninth pitstop… in a race around the MK. Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period. With only three teams being able to make it through to the final leg, will new strategies form? Will alliances fall? Bowser and Bowser Jr, who were the first to arrive at 5:47 PM…will depart…at 5:47 AM.


Bowser: Make your way to… Bob-omb Battlefield?

Phil: Teams are headed to the infamous Bob-omb Battlefield. Once the site of a brutal war between the Bob-ombs and the Bob-omb Buddies, it is now a national park and a historic monument. Teams must find their way here. When they arrive, they will make their way to the top of the great mountain, and pay their respects at the memorial. Once a passage has been read by a Bob-omb Buddy, they will receive their next clue.

Both: …

Jr: No Comment

Bowser: Sure.

***Jr: I mean, it’s not like we’re pretending to be good guys! We’re bad to the bone! Who cares if the war was our fault?!

***Bowser: Uh… No! It wasn’t our fault! We just… got involved… with the enemy…

***Jr: But you said it was your fault! Liar!!!

***Bowser: Ugh…

Jr: So, what? Do we need to go back to the airport?

Bowser: The clue says that Bob-omb Battlefield is quite isolated, so we’ll need to fly to Paintbrush City. Apparently they moved all the portal paintings from Peach’s Castle to the museum there, and we’ll be using those to travel.

Jr: Oh.

Bowser: Taxi!

Jr: Are you kidding? Grass Land had taxis?

Bowser: Yep!

Jr: Then why didn’t we use them in the last leg?

Bowser: ‘Cus the clues said travel on foot!

Jr: …

A car pulls up.

Bowser: To the airport?

Bowser: I feel really good with our lead right now. It’s good to be in front. Gives us a strong chance of winnin’ this thing!

Jr: Does he know where it is?

Bowser: Of course he does! He lives here.

Jr: Sunrise sure is pretty…

Bowser: Whatever…

Bowser: A’ight. Where we goin’?

Jr: Look on the screens. Where’s Paintbrush City?

Bowser: Hmm… Gotta be here somewhere.

Jr: There. Mushroom Air’s got a flight.

Bowser: Then let’s go! The other teams will catch up!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating – 6:05 AM

Yoshi: Make your way to Bob-omb Battlefield…

Pink: Pay your respects at the memorial.

Yoshi: Wow…

***Yoshi: You never know what you’re going to do next in this race!

***Pink: It’s completely random.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts – 6:06 AM

Boo: Pay your respects… Bob-omb Battlefield.

King Boo: Where’s Paintbrush City?

Boo: It’s a city of the arts, famous for its museum.

King Boo: Hm… Quite interesting. Come on! Let’s get a move on.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Do they have taxis here?

Pink: Yeah, I think they do. We need to get to the airport.

Yoshi: Hm… You see any…?

Pink: Is that one over there?

Yoshi: Looks like it. Come on.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Aw… They mighta got the last taxi…

King Boo: I hope not…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: So, worm. This is the only flight to Paintbrush City today?

Goo: Y-yes sir…

Bowser: NOTHING will get there faster?

Goo: N-nothing, sir. This is the best flight for you.

Bowser: All right, book ‘em.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Oh! Sire! There’s another over there!

King Boo: Taxi!

Boo: Can ya take us to the airport?

Dryiten: Yes. I take you!

Boo: Okay…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Paintbrush City? Why we goin’ there?

Pink: That’s a city that’s famous for its art and paintings.

Yoshi: Paintings… Oh yeah… You need to jump through a painting to get to Bob-omb Battlefield. But… that was in Peach’s Castle before…

Pink: Well, whatever the clue says, we follow.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes – 6:15 AM
Luigi: Ugh. Where is this whirlwind gonna take us now?

Mario: Let’s *riiiiiiiiiiiiip* find out! (after reading) We’re going to Bob-omb Battle- What? Bob-omb Battlefield. Whoo, boy…

Luigi: Clue me in, I wasn’t there, as usual.

Mario: That’s where I got caught in the middle of a raging war as I looked for the Power Stars. After I left, the war escalated and became catastrophic. Now we’re going there to pay our respects.

Luigi: Oh… I see. Well, we gotta get to the airport first.

Mario: Right! Let’s get a taxi!

Luigi: Taxi? Really?

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on! Let’s skiddadle!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Hurry! The Yoshis are right there!

King Boo: “Yoshies”, fool.

Boo: I… er… wh… uh…

King Boo: Shut up and hurry up!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Hi, there. We’re trying to get our butts over to Paintbrush City.

Yoshi: *snicker*

Rave: Well, that can be arranged by Mushroom Air. They’re the only ones with a flight.

Yoshi: Thank you very much.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Did you hear that? Hurry!

King Boo: Ehehehe! Let’s go!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Hey!  They were eavesdropping!

***Yoshi: Some of the things these teams resort to in this race are crazy. There’s only four teams left now, and we all know that only one more’s going home.

***Pink: It’s getting down to the nitty gritty!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Can we get some tickets to Paintbrush City, please?

Goo: Sure. Here you go.

King Boo: Are there many seats left?

Goo: Yes there are.

Boo: Ahh… Darn.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: The same as them, please?

Goo: Er… Sure. Here you are.

Pink: Excellent!

Yoshi: We’re on the same flight? Good.

Pink: All that’s left are the Mario Bros.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Come on, Luigi! Quite dilly-dallying!

Luigi: Ugh… Coming!

Mario: Haii!

Luigi: Stop doing that!

Mario: We need some tickets to Paintbrush City, if you would please?

Goo: Sure! Here you are! You’re on the flight!

Mario: Sounds good.

Luigi: Are we all on the same flight?

Mario: Yes. Finally, eh?

***Mario: Well, isn’t it obvious? Our luck is changing! We’re being bunched with other weaker teams, and we’re going to surge ahead.

***Luigi: You could cut the tension with a knife. No one wants to come in fourth place.

***Bowser: It stinks that we’re bottlenecked at the airport, but it’s no problem.

***Jr: Just a couple more destinations and we’ll be out on top!

***Yoshi: We really have to be on our A game, now. Things are going to get wild.

***Pink: Time is running out. It’s now or never. We have to be first!

***King Boo: Whaddaya mean, you’re surprised we’re still in? An insult!

***Boo: His Majesty and I will crush the competition.

***Mario: Hold on to your hat. It’s gonna get ugly!

The plane flies off into the sunrise…

Phil: All teams are on the same flight, headed to Paintbrush City, a wildly artistic city with one of the largest art museums in the Mushroom Kingdom. Teams must search the interior for the “Bob-ombs at War” painting, which is actually a portal… to their next destination.

The camera shows a beautiful city with abstract buildings, including one large one looking like the Panthéon.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Luigi! Get outta the slow lane! Let’s go!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Come on! We gotta find this place!

Jr: Excuse us, do you-


Bowser: Oh my god…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: It’s that big building with all the columns! I know it! I recognize it!

Yoshi: Good eyes! Come on! Let’s go!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: So, when were you here? It’s quite nice. Why wasn’t I invited?

Mario: …* Mn!

Luigi: Hm? Which adventure was this?

Mario: Oh, uh… You know… I have so many… Hard to keep track…

Luigi: 0,o Uh… Okay… Just earlier you were telling me how unforgettable each was.

Mario: Yeah, but sequels are hard to keep track of. Where is this place?

Luigi: *wry look* You have been here, haven’t you?

Mario: I think it’s that, uh, big building up ahead!


50 people stare at Luigi.

Mario: Yay Luigi. Come on. You’re attracting a crowd…

Luigi: Yaaaaaay! Go Weegie! Go Weegie!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: It must be the large Panthéon-like building.

King Boo: That sounds logical. Let’s hurry!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Piiiink! Hurry! Beat the Marios!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Will you shut up and follow me, Luigi?!

Luigi: Oh yeah! Go Weegie! It’s ya birthday!


Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: No- Ah! If- Ugh! Listen to- Ouch!

The residents are throwing rocks at the Bowsers.

Jr: We’re -ow!- not going to k- Yowch!

Bowser: Stop! We need to get to the museu- Ouch! Museum!



King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: Hurry! It’s right up there!

Boo: We have to look for the Bob-omb painting!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Mario! Wait up!

Mario: Less waiting! More dashing! Let’s goooooooooooooo!

Museum Curator: Welcome, teams. Please walk while inside the museum…

The teams dash toward him.

Curator: Er… Please be polite and walk… Umm.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Go go go!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on! Let’s hurry!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Whee! We’re gonna win!

They all go ripping by faster than the speed of sound, leaving the curator in a spinning daze.

Curator: Waaaaaaaahhhh… Hey! I said walk!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Where is it?

Mario: It should be on this directory…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Near the other Peach’s Castle paintings, probably…

Pink: I see one of just bubbles…

Yoshi: Oh! That’s one of them! Go!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Ack! Come on, Luigi! Follow them!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Hurry, Sire! Let’s beat them!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: What is it again?

Yoshi: I think two or three Bob-ombs… Black ones…

Pink: There it is!

The painting is hanging on the wall, with the ropes in front removed.

Guide: Welcome, racers. Enjoy your trip!

Yoshi: Jump in, Pink!

Pink: Okay! Whatever you saaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Here we go! Just like old times!

Luigi: Maaamaaaamiaaaaaa!!!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: Hurry up!

Boo: Yeeeaaaaaahhhhh!!!

The music abruptly ends.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Ugh… That was horrible.

***Bowser: After a PoliceKoopa came, our security had to step in. Everything’s fine now, and we’re on our way.

Jr: It’s that large building there!

Bowser: I just hope we’re not last!

A strange blue portal appears overhead, and three teams drop out.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Where’s the clue?

Mario: The memorial is up that huge mountain!

Luigi: Waaah! That’ll take forever!

Mario: Come on! Let’s just do it!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on, let’s go. But be respectful…

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: …

The teams jog over the two bridges, and head for the mountain.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
***Mario: It’s absolutely crazy to be back here. Last time I was here, I was going frantic, searching for the Stars that would help me release Peach from Bowser.

Mario: You comin’ Luigi?

Luigi: Yeah… It’s just steep…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on, Pink!

Pink: Wow! Look at the view!

Yoshi: Yeah… It’s pretty!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: So this is the museum?

Jr: Yeah, looks like it.

Curator: Hello and welcome. Please be kind and walk in the museum.

Bowser glares.

Curator: Or… er… jog if you want… *gulp*

Bowser: Come on! Let’s go…

Jr: Where’s the painting?

Bowser: Don’t really know… Should be around here somewhere…

Jr: There’s a painting of two Goombas…

Bowser: Yeah… That sounds right. It should be near there…

Jr: Ugh… Ugly Goombas…

Goomster: Hey! I take offence to that!

Jr: I was talking about the painting!

Goomster: Oh… Okay…

Jr: … Shorty…

Goomster: Hey!!!

Bowser: Come on, Jr. I found the painting!

Jr: Good… Do we just jump in?

Bowser: Yep! That’s how it’s done. The painting feels like mist on your body!

Jr: Well then let’s go!

Bowser: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawrrr!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Are we almost there?!

Mario: Shhhh, Luigi. We’re here. This is the memorial.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on, Pink. It’s just up here…

Pink: *sigh*

Yoshi: Come on.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Don’t start without us, please!

King Boo: Shut up, Boo. Be respectful…

The three teams step onto the plateau on the top of the mountain. A Bob-omb Buddy is standing next to a small statue of a Bob-omb of no discernable color.

Buddy: Is anyone else coming?

Mario: (looking over the edge) No, the Bowsers aren’t here yet.

Buddy: We are gathered here today, to remember the brave souls who perished in the Bob-omb War of ’97…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: We’re here! Where do we go?

Jr: It said to the top of the mountain.

Bowser: Hmmmm… Aww, shoot. I see a distinctive shade of red up there.

Jr: Ah! They’ve started without us. Let’s get a move on!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Buddy: …and while both sides fought hard, there was no true victor.

Luigi: *sniffle*

Mario: …

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Buddy: Many brave-hearted Bob-ombs lost their lives, their families having no one to welcome home again…

Pink: *sniffle*

Yoshi puts his arm around her.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Buddy: So, please join me in a minute of silence, as we remember those we have lost…

Boo: *sniffle*

King Boo: *smack*

Boo: Oww…


***Luigi: It’s horrible to think of all the casualties.

***Mario: War is not a good thing. Bowser will learn a lot from this ceremony.

***Yoshi: Looking out upon this area, with trees growing and grass filling in the trenches… it’s hard to believe something so horrible happened here.

***Pink: People should learn peace.

***King Boo: …

Buddy: Here is your next clue.

Mario: Thank you very much…

*riiiiiiiiiip* *riiiiiiiiiiiiip* *riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Luigi: It’s a Detour.

The music picks up again.

Phil: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must explore this land’s culture by involving themselves in something that will definitely immerse them. The choice: Charge or Chain. In Charge, teams will walk down the mountain. At the foot, they will find a station containing a map of a bird’s eye-view of Bob-omb Battlefield. Teams must follow the arrow, performing the instructions that are listed, and take a small envelope from each of the checkpoints listed on the map. Once the route has been performed correctly, teams may open the small envelopes to find pieces of the clue, which they can piece together. In Chain, teams must visit a popular tourist attraction… *frightful music* The Chain Chomp. Hidden behind this uncontrollable beast is the next clue. Teams will be briefed on safety, and then must make their way to the clue while keeping the Chomp at bay.

Mario: Charge or Chain?

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Charge… Run around an obstacle course…

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Chain… Chain Chomp…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: We choose to do Chain.

Luigi: *record scratch* WHAAAAAAAATTT??!

Mario: (whispering) You kiddin’, Luigi? That thing’s a puppy when you know how to handle it! It’s a piece of cake!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Oh, no! No animals! They’re just too unpredictable!

Yoshi: Okay, we’ll do Charge.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Charge is probably faster. That Chomp looks insane.

King Boo: Fine… We’ll do Charge.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Come on, Luigi! We haven’t got all day!

Luigi: Will you shut up? You’re just faster than me!

Mario: Hurry up! The Boos will beat us!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Yeahhh! Luigi’s so slow!

King Boo: Come on, we’ll pass ‘em at the Detour.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
They’re at the foot of the mountain.

Jr: It’s just up here?

Bowser: Yes. The path spirals around. Come on, we’re falling behind.

Jr: Yeah!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Oh, look! There’s the Bowsers.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Huff… This mountain is really tall…

Jr: Come on, Dad! They’re done!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: Bowser! What took ya so long?

Bowser: Oi… Let’s just go!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Look, Yoshi! Hurry!

Bowser: Rrrrr…

Jr: Hurry, Dad! You’re almost there!

Bowser: It’s not too easy…

Mario: Neither is looking at your face!

Bowser: Hey! Shut up down there!

Jr: Dad! It’s right here! Here’s the statue!

Bowser: Woah… Look how far we had to climb!

Jr: Yeah! You can see for miles…

Buddy: Ahem!

Both: …

Buddy: We’re gathered here today to remember the brave souls who perished in the Bob-omb War of ’97.

Both: …

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: There’s the station! Let’s grab a map!

King Boo: There’s no time for napping! Let’s go!!!

Boo: …

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Yoshi! Get a map!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: What in the world is this?!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: These are… certainly complicated…

Yoshi: Hoo, boy…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Luigi! Stop being a baby! It’s just a harmless Chain Chomp!

Luigi: B-b-b-b-b-boy, what an oxym-m-m-m-m-moron…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: What do we have to do first?

Pink: Head to Cannon-Block Ledge and ride the small zipline down to the field.

Yoshi: Okay! Simple enough!

Pink: I don’t get this, though. Along the way, the first checkpoint is supposedly up above on that cliff…

Yoshi: Lemme see… Well, we have to stay on the arrow… It’ll turn up.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: Come on! Let’s go! We have to ride the zipline first!

Boo: Don’t forget the checkpoints!

King Boo: Whatever…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! Let’s wrestle a Chain Chomp!

Luigi: M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m

Mario: Come on, Luigi. Put on your padded suit for protection!

Luigi: -m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m

Mario: Here! Take this rod. Use it to hold him back!

Luigi: -m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m

Mario: *sigh* Do you have something to say, Luigi? Spit it out!

Luigi: -m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mammam-m-m-m-m-mia…

Mario: Noted. Let’s go!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Ugh! We gotta ditch these Boos!

Pink: Oh, I see now. The first checkpoint is by that tree, under the cliff.

Yoshi: Shh! Let’s get it.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating (? _ _ _ _ _)

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Are you sure this is the right way, Sire?

King Boo: Of course! We go up this steep hill and around to Cannon-Block Ledge!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Wheeee!!! That was cool! It’s nothing, Pink!

Pink: Whee! Ziplines are cool when low!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Here’s a checkpoint, your majesty!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (? _ _ _ _ _)
King Boo: Let’s go down, then!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Buddy: So please join me in a minute of silence, as we remember those we have lost.

Bowser rolls his eyes as a mental gong sounds.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Are you listening, Luigi? These instructions are important!

Luigi is hyperventilating.

Mario: Oh brother…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Where’d the Boos go?

Yoshi: What do we do next?

Pink: Just head to the next checkpoint in that field by the Gray Cannon.

Yoshi: Okee dok!

Pink: Hmm…Wait! We need to go around the cannon! That’s where the arrow goes.

Yoshi: Er… Okay…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son

Jr: Detour! Charge or Chain?

Bowser: Chain… Get past Chain Chomp… First come, first served… Let’s do that! Chain Chomps are wild, but no match for me! Gwa ha ha ha!

Jr: Sounds good! Let’s go down!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: It says the checkpoint is right here…

Yoshi: I don’t see a box or anything…

Pink: Well look harder! We want to stay ahead of the Boos!

Yoshi: Oh… There it is. It’s inside the flower garden.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating (?? _ _ _ _)

Pink: Now, jump down there and go under the bridge.

Yoshi: Under? Okay. Watch your step!

Pink: Oof… Hey, coins!

Yoshi: Why are there- Never mind. What’s next?

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts

Boo: I’m still scared!

King Boo: Get down the zipline, now!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: So, around these boxes?

Pink: Yes. It ways right here.

Yoshi: Again, I don’t see anything… Maybe I should.

Pink: Yeah! Try under it!

Yoshi: Ugh! It’s heavy!

Pink: Be careful not to break it!

Yoshi: Hey! What if it’s inside the box?

Pink: Hey, yeah! That could be right!


Yoshi: I rock! We got it!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating (??? _ _ _)

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Okay! There’s the Chomp unfortunate enough to meet my wrath!

Jr: No! The Marios are already here!

Bowser: Awk! Those darn plumbers!! Now what?

Jr: Should we wait our turn?

Bowser: Hmm… Neither of us is good with a map, so we should…

Jr: Oi… All right…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Don’t worry, Pink! I’ll catch you!

Pink: Here goes nothing!!!

BAM! She is fired out of the cannon.


Yoshi: See? I caught you!

Pink: Come on! The next checkpoint is where those posts are!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (?? _ _ _ _)
King Boo: Okay, we’ve got the one in the flower bed. What’s next?

Boo: We corkscrew around the bridge!

King Boo: We what?

Boo: Well, we’re supposed to go under it, but being Boos, we get to have more fun!

King Boo: This is no time for fun! Let’s go!

Boo: Aww…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: You ready, Luigi?


Mario: You’re doin’ it! That’s final!


Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Oh! I see! We have to touch all four posts!

Yoshi: Why?

Pink: Because these are coin posts! They’re infused with magical-ness-stuff…

Yoshi: Magical-ness-stuff. Right…

Yoshi runs and touches the four posts. Then in a puff of smoke, another clue box appears.

Pink: It’s the next checkpoint!

Yoshi: Wow! Amazing!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating (???? _ _)

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Okay, Luigi! Listen! It’s in a bad spot right now. I need you to move to the side a little and drive it back with your pole!

Luigi: ME?! WHY NOT YOU?!

Mario: Wouldn’t you prefer to have him in view at all times?

Luigi: WAH! Okay, okay! J-j-j-j-just, hurry up!

Mario: Don’t worry, I will!

Chomp: BARK! BARK!

All that remains is Luigi’s clothes. He is now 120 feet in the air.


Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha ha ha!

Jr: HAHAHAHA! What a loser!!! HAHAHA!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: I don’t get it… It says the checkpoint is here…

King Boo: Well, it ain’t. There is nothing here but a tree, two boxes, and a sign.

Boo: Hey… Maybe it’s under…

King Boo: The sign!!!

Boo: Yeah!

They lift it

King Boo: Nuthin’…

Boo: Hmmm… Maybe we should come back to it later…

King Boo: Well, we’re wasting time. That sounds right, let’s just move on…

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (?? _ _ _ _)

Boo: Now, get in the cannon and shoot up to the top of that cliff.

King Boo: We can’t fly? Dangonit!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Getbackyouvilebeastwahhdon’tkillmepleasewahIdon’twannadiewhydidIagree

Mario: That’s good, Luigi! Your baby-like babbling is confusing and captivating the Chomp!

Chomp: ?!?!?!?!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Oh! I get it! Once we… touch… all… four… There!

The clue box appears.

King Boo: Good thinking! Come on!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (?? _ ? _ _)

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Whoo…

Pink: Dodging water bombs is not fun…

Yoshi: That part was kinda easy, though.

Pink: Come on, the Boos are catching up.

Yoshi: Well Boo Hoo!

Pink: … Come on. Under this road thing.

Yoshi: Road thing? Oh, there’s a tunnel under here…

Pink: Yep! I saw the checkpoint icon on the road thingie up there, but I didn’t see it. So I thought to look under.

Yoshi: Your IQ is unfathomable!

Pink: Come on! There’s the checkpoint!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating (????? _)

Pink: Just one more!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Just keep it back some more!

Luigi: IwasnamedafterthebraveLuigibutI’mnotwhynotIwannabebravewahstupidchain

Mario: That’s good! I think… Nnn… I got it! I got it!!!


Mario: Good job, Luigi

Luigi: I’m fine…but I need new underwear…

Mario: *eye twitch* *Riiiiiiiiip* Get on top of the gate…

Phil: Teams must now return to the foot of the mountain, and find this gate. Once here, they will climb this nearby ladder, and balance on top. If they can make it to the other side without falling off, teams will find their next clue.

Luigi: Just get me away from this beast!!!

Mario: Bye, Chompy!!!

Chomp: ROOOF! <3

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: “Avoid the water bombs”… What are water bombs…?



King Boo: I guess that answers our question…

Boo: Flyy!!! Go, go go!!

King Boo: Ahh! There’s so many of them!

Boo: Come on! Almost- *Sploosh* Yah! Almost there.

King Boo: Ah! They don’t stop! Quick! Hide in that tunnel down there!

Boo: YAH! Good idea!

They fly into it

Boo: Hoo… Hey! What the? It’s the next checkpoint!

King Boo: Score!

Boo: But the map says… Never mind. Just get it!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (?? _ ?? _)

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Did you understand all the instructions, Jr?

Jr: Yep!

Bowser: All right! Let’s pummel this thing!

Jr: YEAH! Bring it on!!!

Bowser: It’s on like Donkey Kong!

Jr: …

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
They climb up a ladder leading from the bottom of the trench up to a bridge.

Pink: Hmm… The last checkpoint should be on this bridge….

Yoshi: I don’t- Woah!

Pink: Hey! This bridge is moving!

Yoshi: Oh, shoot! I remember now! This is a see-saw bridge!

Pink: A WHAT?!

Yoshi: Hurry! Get on the other side! Balance us out! It’s just like scales!

Pink: Wah!

Pink runs over.

Yoshi: Okay… I think we’re balanced…

Pink: Whew… (reading the map) They sure didn’t make this map easy…

Yoshi: What?

Pink: Well, it says the checkpoint is right where I am. I don’t see anything, though…

Yoshi: Hmm…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: You do it, Mario! You’ve done it before!

Mario: It’s EASY!

Luigi: Shut up and do it, Mr. Adventure!

Mario: Oka- Woah! This gate is skinnier than I remember…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Lemme see that map…

Pink: Wah! Yoshi! Go back! You’re throwing us off balance.

Yoshi: Sorry… Sorry…

Pink: Wait! I saw it! Come back!

Yoshi: Jeez, make up your mind.

Pink: See, when the bridge goes down, the clue is visible on the wall underneath it!

Yoshi: Hey, yeah! Get it before we fall off!

Pink: I’ve got it!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating (??????)

Yoshi: Sweet, let’s get outta here!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Oh, look! Look where they got it from!

King Boo: Heh, good eye there, Boo!

Boo: Come on, let’s get it!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Aww, the Boos saw what we did…

Pink: Okay… No… That goes there… Got it! “Find the Gate”…

Yoshi: Come on!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: You got it? Jump down!

Mario: Yeah! It’s right here!

Mario jumps.

Luigi: What’s up?


Mario: It’s a roadblock! “Who’s seeing red?”

Phil: A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform… and no person may do more than six Roadblocks on the entire race. In this Roadblock, teams will pick a color from the clue, then search around the entire Bob-omb Battlefield for hidden coins of the matching color.

Bowser: What are those coin things?

Phil: Once teams have found all 8 coins, they will bring them to this Bob-omb Buddy, who will give them their next clue!

Luigi: I’ll have a go at it.

Mario: You got it, Luigi! *reads* Pick a color!

Luigi: Well, DUH! Green!

Mario: Kay, you need to search all around Bob-omb Battlefield for eight green coins!

Luigi: Oh! Just like the eight red coins! Okay! See ya!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Go Dad! Beat that thing!

Bowser: Back! Back, horrible creature! RAAAAWR!!!

King Boo/Boo – Ghosts (?? _ ???)

Boo: So, what? We got five of them…

King Boo: Yeah… Where do we go now?

Boo: But… the map ends right here. This is the last checkpoint!

King Boo: Well… Huh? What did we miss…?

Boo: Remember? There was that one down by the boxes.

King Boo: Oh, right… We still need that one. Let’s go!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Be careful up there, Yoshi!

Yoshi: Woah! Don’t worry… I’ve- ah! I’ve done this before!

Pink: You’re amazing! What haven’t you done?

Yoshi: I got it!

Pink: Great! Now, get your butt down here before you hurt yourself! God! How do you balance on such a skinny gate?

Yoshi: Carefully. *Riiip* “Who’s Seeing Red?”

Pink: That is of absolutely no help at all…

Yoshi: I know what it means. It’s the red coins. Someone’s gonna have to find them

Pink: Oh, I see…

Yoshi: I’ll go, then.

Pink: You gotta pick a color…

Yoshi: Oh, uh… Blue!

Pink: Okay, go find the blue coins! Good luck, hon!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (?? _ ???)
Boo: Okay… It should be somewhere around these boxes.

King Boo: Yeah. The clue’s near the boxes.

Boo: They’re not on top of the boxes…

King Boo: This place near the boxes is empty.

Boo: The boxes aren’t on anything.

King Boo: Boxes, boxes, boxes…

Boo: Boxes… Bo… Inside? Inside them? Check!

King Boo: Okay… Oh my gosh! It’s right here!

Boo: Oi… That stinks!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts (??????)
King Boo: Now hurry up and put them together!

Boo: All right! … Kay… We have to find the gate… The “Gate”…

King Boo: You mean that big gate over there? Fine, let’s go.

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi: Okay, I got the one under the bridge and the two by the posts… This seems familiar, but not really…

He is over by the cannon.

Luigi: They seem to be in the same place, actually… Then that means there must be one on the floating isle! Sweet! I know the pattern!

He jumps into the cannon.

Luigi: Oof… Hey, what’s this?

He picks up a green coin inside the cannon.

Luigi: Oh, man! Some of ‘em are different! Now what am I gonn- *BOOM)* AAAAAAAHHH!!!

Yoshi - Pink Yoshi’s Partner
Yoshi: Hmm, okay. I remember doing this before. Maybe they’re in the same spots… So there must be one on this hill…

He’s by Cannon-Block ledge, looking down a hill

Yoshi: Hm, nothing there. Well, I guess they were all moved…


Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: DAD! He’s sitting on the clue!!! You gotta move him!

Bowser: Grrrr… This is taking longer than it should!!!

Jr: Come on, Chompy, just move, please!

Chomp: Gr? Rowfreroh? (Mario?)

The Chomp moves off the clue, looking around.

Bowser: Wha’d you do, Jr?

Jr: I just called him “Chompy”!

The Chomp spins around.

Chomp: Rowfreroh! Ruh?

Jr: Oh, uh… Hey! Hey… Chompy…

Chomp: …rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…ROWF!!! BARKBARKBARK!!!

Bowser: Darn it! It’s seen you’re not Mario! Now it’s just madder!

Jr: Graaaah!

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: This is too easy! We’ll just fly up to the clue!

The camera shakes left and right

King Boo: Oh…kay… We’ll float along the gate!

The camera shakes left and right.

King Boo: Whaddaya want us to do? Drag ourselves along the gate with our hands?!

The camera moves up and down.

King Boo: Ugh!!!

Boo: This is just ridiculous…

King Boo: You said it!

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi: I still need three more.

Chomp: BARK!!!


Luigi’s gaze moves to Chomp’s post. He spies a green coin.

Luigi: Oh no! No, no no! Not that monster again! AAAHHHH!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Gr… What is that spazoid doing?

Jr: He’s getting scared just looking at the Chomp!

Yoshi - Pink Yoshi’s Partner
Yoshi: ‘Kay, got the one on the white hill. I got the one in that crevice… Hm… Where else?

He is walking in the trench

Yoshi: There’s gotta be some more around here…

Yoshi trips.

Yoshi: Wha? Woah!!! Oof!!! Ouch! What was that?

He turns around. Some thing blue and sparkling is in the ground!

Yoshi: Hey! That’s it! It’s buried! Sweet.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
King Boo: Finally!


King Boo: “Who’s Seeing Red”?

Boo: Oh! Oh! Me! I wanna do one!!! It sounds kinda cool!

King Boo: Fine… You gotta find eight hidden coins!

Boo: Awwwww! That’s not fun!

King Boo: Pick a color.

Boo: Huh? Oh, white, I guess.

King Boo: ‘Kay. You’re looking for white coins.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Push! Push it back!


Jr: I think… I think I…. I got it! I got it, Dad!

Bowser: FINALLY!!!

Jr: *Riiiiiiiiip* Come on! Let’s hurry up! We’re going to the gate!

Bowser: Ugh… That was horrible!

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi: I gotta get that coin… somehow… But, holy cow! It’s right by the Chomp! WAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I DON’T WANNA DIE!

Koopa: Excuse me, do you-


He runs off at breakneck speed


He looks down into his hands.

Luigi: Hey… The coin… Musta grabbed it while running… Cool… Just three more…

Boo - King Boo’s Partner
Boo: Okay…The first three were easy, I saw them while doing the obstacle course… Now where could the others possibly be?

He flies around some more.

Boo: Why in the world did I pick white? It blends in well with most anything… Stupid!

He tries to slap himself in the forehead, but his hand goes through.

Boo: Woaaaah… That felt weird…

Yoshi - Pink Yoshi’s Partner
Yoshi: Hmm…. Where, oh where are my blu-ue coins? Oh where, oh where could they be?

He looks up.

Yoshi: On the floating isle? Seems unlikely, because there was one there before… Ah well, couldn’t hurt to check…

He hops into the cannon.

Yoshi: Oh! Oh my! A coin! How clever! What an interesting idea… hiding it in the can-*BOOM* WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi runs up the white stone hill, grabbing a green coin halfway up.
Luigi: Pretty good spot, there. I hope no one picked white!

Boo - King Boo’s Partner
Boo: It’s stinkin’ buried! How in the world is anyone supposed to see that… Well, anyone but me of course…

He digs it up.

Boo: Excellent!

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi: What’s Boo doing? Hmm… *squints* He’s playing in the dirt?

Luigi: That ghost is odd… Oh! He’s digging! Maybe that’s where a coin is! Oh, boy! Freebie! Here I COME!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Boo - King Boo’s Partner
Boo: Ah shoot, I gotta disappear!

He flies away.

Boo: Maybe I shoulda actually disappeared…

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi: Oh yeah! Green coin buried in the ground! Come to Papa!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: You be careful up there on that gate! It’s pretty skinny!

Jr: Hey! Are you actually showing care?!

Bowser: No! I need you so I can win the race!

Jr: Oh… -.-

Yoshi - Pink Yoshi’s Partner
Yoshi: Gah! I can’t find any more! I’ve only found four! Where’s the rest?

He strolls over by Chain.

Yoshi: Woah!!! That thing’s huge!


Yoshi: Now I’m even gladder we didn’t do that task!

The camera zooms in on a single blue coin on Chomp’s post.

Yoshi: Hold the phone… There’s a blue coin there! But… that’s the same as before… Oh, man. Some ARE the same! D’oh!

Luigi - Mario’s Partner
Luigi: It’s up there! Up in this crevice in the mountain! But… how do I get it?

Mario: Helloooooooooo?! Wall jump!

Luigi: Shut up, Mario! I’m trying to think! Hmm… It’s between two close walls… close enough so I could even jump between them or something…


Luigi: Should I go up or jump… on the walls… Hey!!! I could wall jump! Ha! See? I can figure things out on my own!

Mario: *sweatdrop*

Luigi: Nah! Nah! Nah!!! Yes! I got it! I got them all!!! Now to get back to Mario! WOO-HOOOO!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son

Jr: “Who’s seeing red?”

Bowser: GWA HA HA HA HA HA! I see red whenever I look at “Red”! I’m doing it!!!

Jr: Well pick a color

Bowser: Er… Orange…

Jr: Good luck! Find the eight orange coins!

Bowser: Wha? Pffft! Piece of cake!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: I did it! I did it!

Mario: Luigi! “You did it, you did it” FIRST!!!

Luigi: *girl scream* You serious?!

Mario: Come on! It must be time for the pitstop!

Bud: Here’s your next clue!


Luigi: Make your way to the pitstop… Floating Island.

Phil: Teams must now find their way up to this place… The Floating Island, a strange island infused with Koopa magic to float above the ground. There is only one way to get up here. Teams must figure out that they need to use the cannon. This majestic view of picturesque Bob-omb Battlefield is the pitstop for this leg of the race… The last team to check in here… may be eliminated…

Mario: Come on! Let’s go! Let’s be first again! WOO!

Luigi: You said it! Enough sixths and fourths!

Boo - King Boo’s Partner
Boo hops out of the cannon,

Boo: That was a great idea to hide it in there… Hm… I still need to get three more. Hmmmmmmm… Where haven’t I looked…

Chomp: BARK!!!

Boo: Oh! Right! There might be one by Chomp… and… the mountain too…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: How do we get up there again?

Mario: How do you think? We just gonna fly up there?!

Luigi: Well we could… if we had Wing Caps, Cape Feathers, Power Leaves, or Hover Paks…

Mario: Shut up and jump in the cannon!

The camera shows Phil standing on a mat at the center of the floating island.


Mario and Luigi land on a conveniently placed mattress.

Both: Oof…

Luigi: PHIL!!!

Mario: Wa-hoooo!!!

Luigi: We made it!!!

Mario: Final 3, baby!

BobBud: Welcome to Bob-omb Battlefield!

Phil: … Mario and Luigi… You… are… Team Number 1!!!

Luigi: Yeah! YEAH! I did it! I got us into first!

Mario: You sure did, Bro!

Phil: Now I have some good news. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have won a vacation to Yoshi’s Island, compliments of MKA. You’ll enjoy hot springs, swimming pools, jungle expedition, and delicious gourmet eating. And you can enjoy that after the race.

Luigi: Sounds fun!

Bowser - Bowser Jr.’s Partner
Bowser: Ha! I remember most of these! Gotta get those two by the post… Already got the one under the bridge… And I saw one on Chain Chomp’s post! I remember it!

Boo - King Boo’s Partner
Boo: HA!

Boo turns invisible, and floats past the unsuspecting Chomp, grabbing his coin.

Boo: Sweet! Now… how about the mountain… Hmmm… Oh! There’s one on that hill… And there’s one… Where’s the last one?

Chomp: BARK!!!

Boo: GAHHH!!!

Yoshi - Pink Yoshi’s Partner
Yoshi: I’m just missing one! Which one is it?!

The camera shows the one under the bridge.

Yoshi: Think, Yoshi, think. You’ve checked only seven of the old locations… Where’s the last one?!

Bowser - Bowser Jr.’s Partner
Bowser: Get away from me, Chomp! You remember what I did to you last time?!

Chomp: *whimper*

Bowser: Now I got four!

Yoshi - Pink Yoshi’s Partner

Pink: Go Yoshi! Do you have them all?

Yoshi: Yes! I got the last one!

Pink: Come back!

Yoshi: Okay. Here, bud! I got them all

Bud: Hey! How’d you know my name?

Both: ?!


Yoshi: Make your way to the pitstop on the Floating Isle!

Pink: HURRY!!!

Bowser - Bowser Jr.’s Partner
Bowser: Aw, no! They’re going to the pitstop! I gotta hurry up!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Pink! Get in the cannon! That’s the way up!

Pink: Are you crazy?!

Yoshi: I don’t know! Hurry!

**Phil at the Mat**


Yoshi: Come on!


Phil: Yoshi and Pink… You’re… Team Number 2!

Yoshi: Excellent!

Pink: We did it! We did it! We… Wahoo!

Boo - King Boo’s Partner
Boo: I don’t even know how I noticed that white coin on the white hill! Holy cow!

He flies up and grabs the last coin.

Boo: I LOVE being a Boo!

King Boo: Booo! Did you get them all yet?!

Boo: Yes! I did!

King Boo: Well fan-freaking-tastic. Hey, bud! Give us the clue now!

Bud: How do you people keep knowing my name?!

Both: ?!


Bowser - Bowser Jr.’s Partner
Bowser: Gah…

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Make your way to the next pitstop… the Floating Isle…

King Boo: And we can’t fly up, right?

The camera moves up and down.

King Boo: Riiiiight… Let’s go, Boo. The cannon should suffice.

Bowser - Bowser Jr.’s Partner

**Phil on the Mat**

Phil’s eyebrow raises. He smiles.

King Boo/Boo -- Ghosts
Boo: Yeah!

King Boo: Give us news! Now!

Phil: King Boo and Boo…

Both: …

Phil: You’re… Team Number 3!!!

Boo: 3?! YES! WE’VE DONE IT!

Phil: Congratulations! You’re still in the race!

King Boo: Well… we’re much stronger than anyone expected!

Boo: We’re going to the end! No stopping us!

Bowser - Bowser Jr.’s Partner
Bowser: No… No… It’s… impossible… Foiled again…

The clouds in the sky move in fast motion… It’s later in the day.

Bowser: GAH! THIS LAST ONE IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!!! Oh, here it is.

Jr: Are you done?

Bowser: Yes.

Jr: Whoopee…

Bowser: Come on, let’s go check in…

Jr: Yeah, whatever…


Bowser: ARGH!

Bowser falls over.

Bowser: How do you land perfectly like that?!

Jr: Agility… Fitness... Practice…

Phil: Bowser and Bowser Jr….

Bowser: Don’t even say it! Just, don’t say it!

Phil: Unfortunately, you’re the last team to arrive…


Phil: … The good news is, this is a Non-Elimination Leg!!!

Bowser: DON’T ELIMINA- What?! WHAT?! YEAHHH!!!


Bowser: HA! Take that, Karma!

Phil: Yes, you are both still in the race… However… as you know, I’m going to need to take all your money.

Bowser: Grr… Fine. As long as we get to stay…

Phil: Thanks… I also need to take, all your possessions… Everything but the… er… shells on your backs…

Bowser: Hardee har har…

***Bowser: You can’t get rid of us that easily!

***Jr: You kiddin’? This race isn’t over yet!

***Bowser: We haven’t left, so the field’s not safe yet!

***Jr: Watch out! Bowser and BJ are makin’ a COME BACK!!!

The credits roll…

Read on!

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