Good Egg Galaxy:
Mario enters the Terrace Dome and uses the Pull Star to go to the Good Egg Galaxy. How does he know what it is and how to use it, you ask? Well… Shut up. In the Galaxy, Mario lands on a planet with a house and a tower on opposite sides.
Mario: Why is this planet half peaceful and half scary?
Luma: Because! Now go to that planet with the giant egg on it.
Mario: But there are two airships over there! Bowser has to be there!
Luma: Betcha he’s not.
Mario: You’re on!
Mario… does nothing.
Mario: How do I get there?
Luma: Launch Stars, smart one!
Mario: Ooor…
Mario jumps off the edge and tries to swim through space, but he’s pulled to the scary underside of the first planet.
Mario: This will be hard.
Luma: Launch Stars!
Mario goes up to the tower and gets in the Launch Star. He tries to aim for the airships, but goes to a planet with rolling rocks.
Mario: …
Yellow Luma: Hi! Get all the Star Bits to-
Mario: I’m gonna tell you what I said to another Luma: Do it yourself!
Yellow Luma transforms into a Launch Star, and Mario tries again, and lands on a planet that resembles a donut. An orange octopus comes out.
Octopus: BLAAAARGH! I AM KING KALIENTE! YOU WILL DIE!
Mario: Why?
King Kaliente: BECAUSE I WORK FOR BOWSER!
Mario: So those airships below aren’t Bowser’s?
King Kaliente: Yep!
Luma: Ha!
King Kaliente spits a coconut.
Mario: What? Where’d that come fr-
Mario gets hit and knocked to the edge.
Kaliente: HA! BURN! PUN INTENDED!
Mario: Are all your lines in caps?
Kaliente: YES!
Luma: You have to spin to knock them back!
Mario: What? Tell me now, I have to beat most if not all bosses this way, don’t I?
Luma: Yep!
Mario: Fine. I’m ready for you, octopus!
Kaliente spits out three fireballs and Mario spins and hurts himself.
Luma: Ooh, I know! Maybe you can beat him by swimming in his pool! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sharing!
Mario: I get it!
Kaliente then spits out a coconut and Mario spins and hits Kaliente’s face.
Kaliente: OW! YOU DIE NOW! EMBERS! ATTACK!
Kaliente spits fireballs as Embers attack. Mario is down to one wedge of health.
Luma: Use coins to heal!
Mario: How does that work?
Luma: Silence, nonbeliever!
Kaliente spits out a coconut and Mario spins into it, but Kaliente deflects it and it hits Mario’s face, and his life gauge empties.
Mario: WHY?! Okay, forget this!
Mario goes to the planet’s underbelly and uses a Launch Star to reach an airship.
Dry Bones: Yarr! Get off me ship, landlubber!
Mario takes the skull and throws it into a black hole. The body brings its hand up and manages to speak through his moving hand like a puppet.
Dry Bones: You’re a jerk!
The Dry Bones leaves and Mario goes to the wheel. He then flies up to Kaliente’s platform.
Kaliente: WHAT?!
Mario then presses a button and Bullet Bills are launched, and Kaliente dies, releasing a Power Star. Mario takes it.
Mario: I-a got it! … Now what?
Luma: You could find more Power Stars here.
Mario: Okay, like where?
Luma: There’s one on that star-shaped planet over there.
Mario: Okay.
Mario flies over to the planet, but the other airship follows and attacks Mario’s!
Mario: What?!
Mario looks and sees that it’s piloted by-
Mario: YOU!
Tatanga: Revenge is mine!
Lord Crump then flies through the ship, making a gaping hole. And the ship is falling into the black hole.
Tatanga: Nooooo-
He’s sucked up. Mario then crashes into the planet, and finds a few Pull Stars surrounding a Power Star.
Mario: There goes my ride. How do I do this?
Luma: You must-
Mario: Boring! I have a better idea! Good thing I was a carpenter!
A few hours later, the airship is rebuilt into a home, and now the dream house is complete!
Mario: Hmm. A few throw pillows and some molding, and this place will be fine!
Luma: How does this help?
Mario: Huh? That Pull Star puzzle looked boring, so I decided to do this instead.
Luma: You know what I think of this house?
Mario: What?
Luma goes outside and pushes the house over, breaking it. Mario falls through and grabs the Power Star as he falls, and lands on a big rock, causing it to crack a little.
Luma: I think you just hatched an egg.
Mario: And I think you trashed my dream house! Maybe I shouldn’t have made it very light so even weaklings could move it.
A green tail with a giant nut on the end appears, and it knocks Mario off the egg. It starts walking around. Mario comes back.
Mario: I’ll show you!
He spins into the tail and knocks it into the egg, breaking it. Then an orange comet crashes into the planet.
DAD: Ha! Now you have four minutes to beat this guy!
Mario goes to the planet’s underside and grabs the numbers making up the time limit and forces them together and bends them around, until they form one, big sideways eight, meaning infinity.
Mario: Now that shouldn’t be a problem.
Dino Piranha comes back.
Dino Piranha: RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Mario: Ugh! At least Kaliente could talk! … Have we met?
Dino Piranha knocks Mario away and stampedes around the planet. Mario spins into the tail and it hits his head, knocking petals off, and he loses his temper. He runs around even faster, but Mario gets an idea. When Dino Piranha stops to take a breather, he takes the tail and wraps Dino Piranha with it so he can’t move, and then beats up the nut at the end.
Dino Piranha: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
He faints and Mario takes the Power Star he spits out, along with another that he gets for beating Dino Piranha up within the time limit.
Mario: Ew…
Luigi: Hey Bro, help me off the roof I’m supposed to be on!
Mario: But the game requires me to save you from a mansion first!
Luigi: Never mind… Take this Star anyway!
Mario does, and he returns to the Observatory.