Chapter 6: Larry’s Secret Power!
The party continue on to Seaside Town.
Resident: WE’RENOTREALLYYARIDOVICHINDISGUISE!
Iggy: Um… Ok…
Elder: Hello! I need you to get the Star Piece in the Sunken Ship!
Shy Ranger: How do you know about those?
Elder: … Just do it or die!
Bundt: K.
They enter the Sunken Ship and it’s filled with Bandana Reds and Blues!
Red: Yar!
Blue: Yar!
They all start stabbing the party.
All: ARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Iggy: ENOUGH!
He gets out a bone.
Iggy: See the bone?!
Red: Woof!
Iggy: Fetch!
He throws the bone into a bottomless pit and the Bandanas chase it.
All: Lame.
They continue on until they see a tentacle.
Larry: That wasn’t in my contract!
Tentacle: Follow me!
Bundt: Why should we?
Tentacle: Or else I’ll do this!
He somehow sends Shy Ranger flying into the distance.
Shy Ranger: LAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaammmeeeee…
Raspberry: He was useless anyway…
They enter the door and see King Kalamari!
The Prince: Na na! Nanananana! Katamari Damacy!
He rides in, rolling a huge ball that crushes Kalamari’s tentacles.
Kalamari: Dang it!
He regrows them
Kalamari: Much better!
He starts chocking everyone!
Kalamari: Why you little…s!
Iggy chomps on a tentacle.
Kalamari: Yeeeeeeow! Victory is yours!
He vanishes…
Raspberry: This is oddly short…
Larry: That usually means the author is planning a long fight scene.
Anyway, they enter Johnny’s room.
Johnny: Yarhar! What ye’ be doin’ here?
Larry: We want your Star Piece!
Johnny: NEVER! It’s so… shiny!
Larry: Then take… THIS! SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: BUNDT MAGNUM SHOT!
He punches a hole in Bundt, the knocked out piece getting sent flying at Johnny.
Johnny: Ow! Yar!
Bundt: Why did you do that?!
Larry: I’M SORRY!
Iggy: SUPER FIST OF THE SWR-
Johnny stabs Iggy with his hook and lifts him off the ground!
Iggy: I’m glad you made your point!
Johnny: …
Iggy kicks him in the face.
Bundt: Diamond Saw!
Raspberry: Blast!
Both attacks hit Johnny.
Johnny: Yar-har!
He stabs everyone with his trident!
Larry (dressed as a dog): DOGPILE!
They all jump on Johnny and start punching and kicking like mad.
Johnny: YAAAAAAR!!!
He turns red and throws them all off.
Johnny: You’re all dead!
He tries to stab Larry with his trident, but Larry jumps on it and kicks Johnny’s ribs.
Johnny: (holding a plate of kicked ribs) My ribs!!!
He starts slamming Larry into a wall.
Johnny: Die!
Iggy: Stop it!
He breathes fire at Johnny’s back.
Johnny: Argh! Throw them in the cage!
A ton of Bandanas take them and throw them in a cage with a hole above it.
Larry: Hey! *takes out a cup and skims it across the bars* Let us out!
Johnny: No.
Larry: I’ll be your friend!
Johnny: No.
Larry: Aw, you’re mean!
Raspberry: Now what?
Bundt: I’m supposed to speak first!
Link: Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!
Larry: AHHHHHH!!! Let us out of here!
Link: Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!
Iggy: Someone kill him!
They start stabbing him with forks.
Link: Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!
Larry: He won’t die!!!
Iggy puts duck tape over Link’s mouth.
Link: Mpph mppppppppppppppppppph mph, Mphphp!
All: Ah, much better!
A few hours later, its nighttime and Iggy looks very nervous.
Iggy: Is there a full moon tonight?
Johnny: Yes. Now shut up and let me sleep!
The moon shines through the hole!
Iggy: Gah!
Larry: I’ve never seen the moon before… There are huge clouds over Dark Land all the time…
Iggy: Don’t look!
Bundt: Let the boy make his own decisions!
Iggy: You don’t understand, he-
Link: Mpph mppppppppppppppppppph mph, Mphphp!
Larry: It’s… so… bright!
He starts shaking!
Iggy: Oh crud!!!
Bundt: What?!
Iggy: Last year, when we came from the Beanbean Kingdom, he got bit by a were-lizard!
Link: (from the CD-i game) Great! I’ll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time, your sword is enough!
Larry: I don’t feel well!
Everyone besides Link from the TV series: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Link: Mpph mppppppppppppppppppph mph, Mphphp!
Larry starts growing muscular and bigger, and his eyes turn blood red… Ew… Blood! I hope no one heard me say that…
Iggy: Too late! I mean, AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Johnny runs in.
Johnny: WHAT THE %#$#$%#^%$^$$^ IS GOING ON?!
He sees Larry growing.
Johnny: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!
He grows so large the cage bursts and everyone inside goes flying!
CD-i Link: Dodongoooooooooooooo!
Gwonam: Squadalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Link: Mpph mppppppppppppppppppph mph, Mphphp!
Larry: Graaaaaaaaa!!!
His snout grows outward, his teeth grow sharp, and his tail grows longer and gets spikes on the end!
Iggy: This is a total ripoff of Dragonball!
Larry roars.
Iggy: RUUUUUUUUUUN!
Gwonam: Squadala!
Bundt: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Johnny: Attack!!!
All the Bandanas run away.
Johnny: Yar!
He stabs Larry, who is now so big he crashes through the roof!
Larry: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
He grabs Johnny.
Larry: GRAAAAAAA!!!
Johnny: HELP ME NOW!!!
The Bandanas come back and start leaping on and biting at Larry.
Larry: ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAR!!!
He starts swatting them away while the others swim back to shore.
Bundt: How long will he stay like that?
Iggy: Until morning. But look what I swiped!
He takes out the Blue Star Piece!
Iggy: Hey, what’s going on over there?
They see Yaridovich.
Iggy: Cool! A robot!
Bundt: You idiot! He’s the villain!
Iggy: Oh… Ok, RPG battle!!!
They jump in!
RPG BATTLE!
Yaridovich: 5,000/5,000
Vs.
Iggy: 550/550
Bundt: 1,200/1,200
Raspberry: 500/500
Yaridovich: You will die!
Yaridovich uses spear on Iggy! 50 damage!
Iggy uses IMA FIRIN MAH LAZA! On Yaridovich!
250 damage!
Bundt uses Dizzy Dial on Yaridovich!
It didn’t work!
Raspberry used Blast on Yaridovich!
20 damage!
Yaridovich: 4,730/5,000
Vs.
Iggy: 500/550
Bundt: 1,200/1,200
Raspberry: 500/500
Yaridovich uses Fire Spear on Iggy!
100 damage!
Iggy uses Shell Spin on Yaridovich!
75 damage!
Bundt uses Yummy Frosting on Yaridovich!
40 damage!
Raspberry uses Ram on Yaridovich! 10
damage!
Yaridovich: 4,605/5,000
Vs.
Iggy: 400/500
Bundt: 1,200/1,200
500/500
Yaridovich: Enough of this!
Yaridovich uses Spear Blast on all!
It deals 1,500 damage each!
RPG battle over!
Our heroes are on the ground extremely injured!
Iggy: Why didn’t you do that before?
Yaridovich: It needed to charge! Now hand over the-
Larry jumps behind him, roaring, with Johnny giving chase.
Iggy: Larry’s here!
Bundt: (weakly) Yay…
Raspberry: Woohoo!
Yaridovich: &$^$$&$^&&!
RPG BATTLE!
Johnny: 4,000/4,550
Yaridovich: 5,000/5,000
Vs.
Larry: 9,001/9,001
Vegeta: His HP… IS OVER NINE-THOOOOOOUSSSSSSSSSSANNDDD!!!
Johnny: &&&%&&%%%&!
Larry uses Flame on all! They take
4,500 damage each! Johnny is defeated!
Yaridovich uses Super Spear on Larry!
No effect!
Johnny: 0/4,550
Yaridovich: 500/5,000
Vs.
Larry: 8,999/9,000
Larry uses Roar on Yaridovich! 1,000
damage! He is defeated!
RPG battle over!
Yaridovich explodes while Johnny shrivels up.
Larry: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Iggy: Don’t move… Maybe he won’t see us!
Bundt: Look!
The sun has risen during the fights! Larry looks at it!
Larry: Grooo… Gaaaa…
He shrinks down to normal.
Larry: Woah… What happened?
Iggy: Oh, nothing… Look what I have!
He takes out the Blue Star Piece!
Larry: Hurray! Where to next?
Iggy: Monstro Town!
Larry: Perfect!
I don’t have any questions…
You: Lazy!
SHUT UP!
Chapter 7: The Stupid Sidequest!
The “heroes” are leaving Seaside Town.
Bundt: Hey, do you guys think we forgot something?
Iggy: Nah…
In the shed…
Real Elder: Help!!! Someone!!!
Back to the villains…
Larry: If it was important we wouldn’t have forgotten.
They go to Land’s End and see a cannon.
Iggy: That’s a stupid-looking cannon…
Canon: Shut up!
All: O.O
They hop in and get fired into a wall.
Larry: Forget him!
They climb up.
Canon: Hahahaha!
Raspberry shoots a blast that destroys the cannon.
They continue until they reach a bridge with a weird Shaman with one eye.
Poe Salesman: Do you have any Poe Souls?
Larry: No…
Bundt: I do, remember?!
Poe Salesman: Give it to me and you can pass.
Bundt gives him the Poe Soul and they cross the bridge.
Larry: That was convenient.
Bundt: It was planned.
Larry: Oh. Lame!
They enter a desert.
Alley Rat: Hey, you heading to-
Raspberry: ENEMY!
They start pounding the rat into the ground until he’s dead.
Iggy: I think… we overdid it!
Bundt: Oh well.
They keep falling into sandpit whirlpools and then they find the right one and fall into an underground cave.
Larry: Iggy, you’re sitting on my tail!
Iggy: (getting up) Sorry.
Shy Away: Hello.
Larry: Shut up or I’ll kill you!
Shy Away: (like Mama Luigi) HEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALPP!
He flies away and they enter Belome Temple.
Shaman: Would you like a fortune?
Larry: K.
They all get scrolls.
Larry: “You’ll find a new hair color in the near future.” O.O
Iggy: “You’re going to be captured… smiley face.” Dang it!
Bundt: “Your time to shine is coming.” Yay!
Raspberry: “Yours… not so much.” …
Shaman: Bye!
He vanishes and they continue until they see the same Shaman.
Shaman: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
Shut up.
Shaman: …
Larry burns him to a crisp and they go down the elevator.
Belome: I’m soooooo hungry!
Larry: HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?! YOU ATE YOURSELF!
Belome: Plot hole?
Raspberry: Good enough for me!
Rest of the Group: Who cares about you?
Raspberry: …
Belome: You four look yummy!
Larry: Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!
Belome: …
He kicks Larry into a wall.
Larry: Ow.
Iggy, Bundt, and Raspberry punch Belome into the metal door.
Bundt and Raspberry: How do we punch?
Iggy: Shut up.
Larry: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MY PIANO RECITAL IN D-MINOR!
He throws Iggy (who is playing the piano) at Belome.
Iggy: (playing badly) LALALA!!!
Belome: Argh!
He whacks Iggy into a wall and eats the piano!
Larry: Dang it!
He kicks Belome in all of his eyes.
Belome: Argh!
Iggy: SUPER FIST OF THE SWIRLY GLASSES: POLICEMAN’S PILEDRIVER!
He piledrives Belome.
Belome: Gah!
Bundt used Sandstorm, which makes Belome blind with sand in his eyes.
Belome: Graaaaa!!!
Larry kicks him high up, then whacks him away with a Home Run Bat.
Belome: I’LL BEEEEEEEEEEEEE baaaaaaaaaaaaaackk…
Larry: We did it!
They enter Monstro Town.
Larry: Well the Star Piece isn’t here, so let’s fight Jagger and Jinx.
They enter the Dojo.
Jagger: Larry?
Larry: JAGGER, YOU QUIT THE KOOPA ARMY!!!
Jagger: Ehh… Sorry?
Larry starts maiming him until Jinx appears.
Jinx: *speaks Japanese*
All: …?
Jinx: Sorry. Stop beating up my pupil!
Iggy: You want to fight… little man?
Jinx picks Iggy up and whacks Bundt and Raspberry with him, then tosses him at Larry.
All: Ow.
Jagger: Go Sensei!
Larry: Die!
He throws Jagger into a black hole in space.
Jagger: AAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Jinx punches Larry and uses Silver Bullet on him.
Larry: Ah…
He collapses!
Iggy: How dare you?!
He throws Jinx into the wall, but he rebounds and kicks Iggy out the door.
Nelson: Haw haw!
Raspberry: Shut up!
He shoots a blast at Nelson, who falls on Jinx.
Jinx: (muffled) MPGPPGPHHH PHHH!
Larry: (starting to wake up) Ug… Where am I? Oh yeah, I’m at the Dojo!
Jinx: You’re awake?!
Larry: Yes and… YOU WILL DIE!
Larry breathes fire on Jinx, doing heavy damage.
Jinx: D-darn it all!
He faints.
All: ???
Larry: I BEAT HIM! I call the Jinx Belt!
He puts it on and all his stats triple!
Larry: Happies!
Rest: …
Iggy: Larry, how can you be happy?! We’re hurt!
Raspberry: Is there a doctor in the Dojo?
Doctor: No!
All: …
They leave the Dojo.
Larry: What now?
Bundt: Let’s fight Culex!
Iggy: Why?
Bundt: I don’t know.
Larry: Works for me.
They go to the door.
Iggy: We need to break the seal!
Seal: Arf arf!
They shatter the seal… somehow… and enter.
Culex: You dare bring a light into my lair?! YOU MUST DIE!!!
Larry: Sorry?
Culex: I was kidding. So why are you here?
Iggy: To fight you.
Culex: AHAHAHAHAHA! You must be joking!
Bundt: Nope! RPG BAAAAATTTTLEEEE!!!
RPG BATTLE!
Culex: 8,000/8,000
Shield: Infinite/Infinite
Fire Crystal: 2,000/2,000
Earth Crystal: 1,000/1,000
Water Crystal: 800/800
Wind Crystal: 3,000/3,000
Vs.
Larry: 1,000/1,000
Iggy: 550/550
Bundt: 1,200/1,200
Raspberry: 500/500
Larry: A shield?!
Culex: To destroy it, you must destroy
my Crystals!
Larry: … Dang!
Fire Crystal uses Flame on Larry! 100
damage!
Earth Crystal uses Sandstorm on Bundt!
Missed!
Water Crystal uses Water Blast on all!
Each takes 80 damage!
Wind Crystal skips a turn for being
lame!
Culex: What?!
Culex loses half of his HP for being
rude!
Larry uses SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR
on Water Crystal! 850 damage! Water Crystal is defeated!
Iggy uses Flame on Wind Crystal! Super
effective! 800 damage!
Culex: Fire isn’t super effective on-
AHEM!
Culex: … Never mind…
Bundt uses Piano Throw on Fire Crystal!
500 damage!
Raspberry uses item Rock Candy! 200
damage each, doesn’t affect Culex!
Culex: 4,000/8,000
Shield: Infinite/Infinite
Fire Crystal: 1,300/2,000
Earth Crystal: 800/1,000
Water Crystal: 0/800
Wind Crystal: 2,000/3,000
Vs.
Larry: 820/1,000
Iggy: 470/550
Bundt: 1,120/1,200
Raspberry: 420/500
Fire Crystal uses Fire Wall on Bundt!
200 damage!
Earth Crystal uses Boulder on Raspberry!
100 damage!
Wind Crystal dies for no reason!
Culex: …
Larry uses Slipper Smack on Fire Crystal!
500 damage!
Iggy uses Nerdy Slap on Earth Crystal!
20 damage!
Larry: What in the world, Iggy?!
Iggy: Sorry.
Bundt uses item Rock Candy! 200 damage
each, doesn’t affect Culex!
Raspberry uses Blast on Fire Crystal!
30 damage!
Culex: 4,000/8,000
Shield: Infinite/Infinite
Fire Crystal: 570/2,000
Earth Crystal: 580/1,000
Water Crystal: 0/800
Wind Crystal: 0/3,000
Vs.
Larry: 820/1,000
Iggy: 470/550
Bundt: 920/1,200
Raspberry: 320/500
Good Team gets to go first this time!
Larry uses Anvil on Fire Crystal! 600
damage! Fire Crystal is defeated!
Iggy uses IMA FIRIN MAH LAZA! on Earth
Crystal! 1,000 damage! Earth Crystal is defeated! Culex’s Shield dies!
Culex: Oh no!
Bundt ussd Crystal Saw on Culex! 500
damage!
Raspberry uses Blast on Culex! Got
Lucky! 500 damage!
Culex uses Shadow Claw on Raspberry!
1-Hit KO! Raspberry faints!
Culex: 3,000/8,000
Shield: 0/Infinite
Fire Crystal: 0/2,000
Earth Crystal: 0/1,000
Water Crystal: 0/800
Wind Crystal: 0/3,000
Vs.
Larry: 820/1,000
Iggy: 470/550
Bundt: 920/1,200
Raspberry: 0/500
Culex uses Devil Eyes on Bundt! 900
damage!
Larry uses PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
on Culex! 900 damage!
Iggy uses Recover! Recovers all HP!
Bundt takes an extra 50 damage from
Devil Eye’s aftershock! Bundt faints!
Culex: 2,100/8,000
Shield: 0/Infinite
Fire Crystal: 0/2,000
Earth Crystal: 0/1,000
Water Crystal: 0/800
Wind Crystal: 0/3,000
Vs.
Larry: 820/1,000
Iggy: 550/550
Bundt: 0/1,200
Raspberry: 0/500
Culex uses Mega Blast on Iggy! 600 damage!
Iggy faints!
Larry uses Dramatic Look Gopher on
Culex! 1,000 damage!
Culex: 1,100/8,000
Shield: 0/Infinite
Fire Crystal: 0/2,000
Earth Crystal: 0/1,000
Water Crystal: 0/800
Wind Crystal: 0/3,000
Vs.
Larry: 820/1,000
Iggy: 0/550
Bundt: 0/1,200
Raspberry: 0/500
Culex uses Horn Ram on Larry! 950 damage!
Larry faints!
RPG BATTLE OVER!!
Everyone has fainted except Larry.
Larry: … Why… do… we… always… lose…?
Larry faints.
Voice: Larry… Larry… LARRY!
Larry: (Who are you?)
Voice: That is unimportant! I am here to give you power! Do you accept?
Larry: Yes…
Larry glows, his teeth grow sharper, his hair turns white, and he wakes up!
Larry: POWAH!
Culex: How could you recover from that so fast?!
Larry: That’s not important!
He suddenly appears in front of Culex.
Culex: What the-
Larry punches Culex in the gut so hard he goes flying. Larry chases after him.
Culex: (Where did he get this power?!)
Larry appears by his head and slams it into the floor.
Culex: Gah!
He tries to punch Larry but he catches Culex’s fist and bends his wrist back.
Culex: Mercy!
Larry: No!
He starts stomping on Culex’s chest.
Culex: I’ll join your team!
Larry: Fine, you can join.
Culex joined the party!
Culex: I love par-
Larry: (pointing a gun at Culex’s head) NO! YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT!
Culex: Ok! Calm down!
Larry: Fine.
They drag everyone outside.
Larry: (I wonder who gave me that power…)
Meanwhile in a desert, there are pillars with strange-looking men in masks. One pillar has no man on it… Then a masked man appears on it.
Masked Man: I did it. I gave the Chosen One the power.
Masked Man #2: Good, now we just watch things… unfold…
There’s an orb in the middle showing Larry and the others.
Masked Man #3: Soon we will destroy our enemies!
They all laugh…
Back to our heroes! Iggy wakes up.
Iggy: Larry! What happened to your hair?
Larry: I don’t know…
Bundt: Were you at a rave without us?!
Larry: Shut up… Anyway, Culex decided to join the team.
Raspberry: Yay!
Bundt: Shut up, Raspberry!
Larry: Now… where do we go?
CD-i Luigi: Over there!
He points to a wall.
Iggy: Let’s try that way.
CD-i Luigi: …
They scale up the wall and reach… wait for it… Bean Valley.
Johnny: Die!
Larry: Aren’t you supposed to be dead?
Johnny: Who cares?
Larry: Good point.
Culex taps Johnny on the head and he dies.
Everyone Else: …
Culex: Oh, I forgot to mention, I’m the Grim Reaper, part time.
Grim: You liar!
Mandy: Shut up, Grim!
Billy: Dahaahaha!
Larry: Ignoring that! Shouldn’t the next chapter start?
Oh, right. Who were the Masked Men? Are they good or evil? Why are there two Grim Reapers? And why am I asking you idiots these questions? Find out in Chapter 8: The Alloy Team, vines, a tower full of fighting, an army, and another power-up for Larry. Why does HE get all the power-ups? It’s not fair to everyone else! Wow this chapter name is long.