Chapter 8: The Alloy Team, vines, a tower full of fighting, an army, and another power-up for Larry. Why does HE get all the power ups? It’s not fair to everyone else! Wow this chapter name is long.
Larry: That’s a long chapter name!
Iggy: Why don’t WE get power-ups anyway?
Because!
Iggy: …
Culex: Let’s just go.
They just go until the reach a Smilax.
Smilax: DON’T KILL ME! HEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLP!!!
All: Uh…
A Shy Away appears and waters it, and it evolves into Megasmilax.
Culex: Larry! What’s the scouter say about his power level?!
Larry: (crushing his scouter) IT’S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!!!
Bundt: WHAT NINE-THOUSAND?!
Megasmilax: ROOOOOOOAR!!!
Larry: FIREBALLZ!
He shoots fireballs at Megasmilax but he eats them.
Megasmilax: Fireballs! Yum!
He burns from the inside out and dies.
Shy Away: My plant!!!!
Larry grabs him by the neck.
Larry: I’m gonna kill you!
Shy Away: Wait! What if I give you… this!
He takes out the Lazy Shell and wriggles free, then flies away.
Larry: Hmm…
He puts it on but it’s too big.
Larry: I know! SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: GROW!
He grows until he fits the shell perfectly.
Raspberry: Why do you get all the power-ups?
Iggy: Already asked that.
Raspberry: …
They go down the warp pipe Megasmilax was guarding.
Meanwhile…
Hooded Figure: (talking on a phone)
So it’s agreed… We’ll have three cheese, one with olives, and
one with everything on it. *hangs up*
All right so we have an agreement… We join forces and I get to
conquer the world.
We see two other men.
Commander Red: Yeah yeah, whatever! I just want my pay!
Assistant Black: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Red: Of course it is, you idiot!
Back to our heroes…
Larry: That was a short cutaway…
They climb the vines until they reach Nimbus Land, where they see a crowd of Nimbus people.
Nimbus Man #1: I can’t believe we’re going to see Mallow after all these years!
Nimbus Man #2: I don’t care.
Two Heavy Troopas come and drag the man into the castle, which is now a large, and I mean LARGE, tower.
Nimbus Man#2: NO! Wait, I was kidding! Help me!
Valentina appears.
Valentina: Hello, Nimbus people! Are you ready to meet Mallow? Well here he is!
Dodo comes out.
Culex: That’s a bird!
Larry: And I killed the real Mallow!
Valentina: Oh, don’t mind them!
Larry: (in a straitjacket) I’m not crazy!
The rest of the team: …
Valentina: Well… bye!
She and Dodo go back inside.
Nimbus Woman: What a ripoff!
Rest of the Nimbians: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
They all get hit by meteors.
Culex: Now what do we do?
Larry: We’ll beat her up for embarrassing me in front of my friends!
Rest: …
Larry: Or because she’s evil or something…
Bundt: What about the guards?
There are two Birdies guarding the door.
Iggy: I’ll handle this!
He gets a golf club and starts beating them up with it.
Both: X.X
Iggy: I hit two birdies! *rimshot*
Larry throws a tomato at Iggy.
Larry: Let’s go!
They enter.
Pinwheel: Die!
He spins but instead of blowing them away he just flies into a wall.
Pinwheel: Ow.
Larry: … Are these enemies even trying anymore?
Jawful, Sling Guy, and Shaman: We are!
Sling Guy shoots a pebble but it bounces off a wall and knocks him out. The Jawful eats the Shaman and then falls asleep.
Iggy: I guess they aren’t…
Voice: Help us!!!
Culex: That’s coming from in here!
He opens a door and the Nimbus prisoners are in a room, chained to the walls.
Nimbus Prisoner: Help… us…
Bundt: No!
He slams the door.
Culex: Why aren’t we helping them?
Raspberry: Why should we?
They go into the next room and see a small guy with a hood and sleeves that cover his hands.
???: Hello.
Culex: He’s mine!
He tries to punch ??? but he dodges easily.
???: I wish to join your group.
Larry: Why?
???: We share a common enemy.
Larry: Huddle!
Group: Blah... blah… blah! Blah!
???: Well? What do you say?
Group: Blah!
???: Uh…
Larry: Fine!
??? joined the party!
Larry: Hurray!
They go further but a Heavy Troopa is blocking a door.
Heavy Troopa: You shall not pass!
Larry: I’ll give you chocolate…
Troopa: Gimme!
Larry tosses it out the window and the Troopa jumps to get it and dies.
???: Weird.
They go into the next room and see the Fighting Alloy Team!
Red: Hello weaklings!
Larry: We’re not weak!
He tries to lift a penny but can’t do it.
Alloys: …
Yellow: Hey! It’s that little hooded freak who’s been causing us trouble!
Green: All right, here’s how we’ll fight. We’ll send one of us to fight one of you until one side wins. We pick Blue to go first.
Bundt: Raspberry and I will fight her!
Round 1! Fight!
Blue: Kya!
She does a flip through the air and kicks Bundt off of Raspberry.
Bundt: Take this!
He eats curry and shoots fireballs at Blue.
Yoshi: FIREBALLZ YUM!
Blue: Aaaah!!!
She douses the fire, then karate chops Bundt and splits him in half.
Both halves: D'oh!
Raspberry: Take this!
He shoots a cannonball out of his… “mouth” and it slams Blue into one of Valentina’s statues.
Blue: Ow…
She picks up Raspberry and smashes him into Bundt.
Both: X.X
Knockout!
Blue: Ahaahaha!
Culex: I guess it’s my turn!
He lunges at Blue and whacks her into a Valentina statue, then Culex pins her to the wall by the throat.
Blue: Arggghhh! Stop it!!!
She manages to get free.
Blue: Kya!
She rapidly punches at Culex but he dodges easily!
Culex: Pathetic!
He punches her hard in the chest.
Blue: …!
She explodes.
Culex: *cough* Didn’t see that coming. Who’s next?
Yellow: Me.
Culex tries to squeeze his head but Yellow appears behind Culex and elbows him in the back.
Culex: My… spine!
He collapses.
Larry and Iggy: Woah!
Yellow: Wimp.
???: I’ll take care of him.
He lunges at Yellow and smacks him around for a bit, but his cloak gets caught on one of Yellow's horns and it rips off to reveal a green Shy Guy… with hooks instead of hands!
Shy Guy: Dang.
Larry: I know you!
Shy Guy: Yes, it’s me.
Iggy: You’re the guy who saved us from the Shroobs in Larry’s Interviews!
Yellow: Don’t turn from me!
He tries to punch Shy Guy but Shy Guy jumps in the air and slices the back of Yellow’s head with one of his hooks.
Yellow: Gah! Why you little!
He grabs Shy Guy by the hooks.
Shy Guy: That was a mistake…
His hooks glow and electrocute Yellow, and he malfunctions!
Everyone Else: O.O
Shy Guy: Easy…
Green: I’m next!
Iggy: My turn again!
Larry: No, it’s mine!
Iggy: I called it.
Larry: No you didn’t.
Iggy: I call next fight!
Larry: Darn.
Green: Haha! You’re weak and pitiful compared to me!
Iggy: SUPER FIST OF THE SWIRLY GLASSES: EVIL SPIRITS HAUNT BOMB!
Evil spirits appear and start beating up Green and then vanish.
Green: Take this!
He slams Iggy into the floor and drags him into the wall, then chokes him.
Iggy: Take… this!
Snakes come out his glasses and start biting Green!
Green: Argh!
Iggy: You’re not so tough!
Green kills the snakes. There’s barely a scratch on him!
Green: Haha!
Iggy: He IS tough!
Culex, Bundt, and Raspberry wake up.
All Three: What’d we miss?
Larry: Not much.
Shy Guy: Except my identity.
Larry: No, you’re still nameless… I’ll call you… Hooky.
Hooky: Ugh… Fine… if you must.
Iggy: Your move, fatty!
Green: I’m not fat!
He piledrives Iggy.
Iggy: I’m… not okay.
Green picks Iggy up by the throat and slams him into a wall multiple times.
Iggy: Fire!
He engulfs Green in fire.
Green: It buuuuuuurns!!!
Iggy then knees Green in the face but then Green chokes Iggy, then drops him and Iggy stops moving!
“Good” Guys: O.O
Green: Oh yeah!
Larry: Iggy!
Larry runs over to him.
Larry: Iggy! Wake up!
He doesn’t move…
Larry: …
Green: What’s wrong? You gonna cry?! Bwahaha-
Larry turns and his pupils are red…
Meanwhile with the Masked Men...
Masked Man #1: Ah, it looks like he’s tapping into that power.
All: Mwahahaha!
Back to our heroes...
Larry: I’m gonna kill you!
He uses his Lazy Shell's wings to fly into Green and slams him into a wall.
Green: What the?!
Larry grabs his arm.
Green: Grr… Let me go!
Red: What’s going on?! Green! Don’t let him push you around!
Green: (struggling to get arm free) I don’t know what’s going on!
Larry punches Green in the face, sending him flying.
Green: Gah!
Larry grabs Green and starts slamming him into the floor, and he’s too hurt to move.
Red: That’s enough!
He punts Larry into Iggy.
Iggy: Ow!
Larry turns back to normal.
Larry: Iggy?! I thought you were dead!
Iggy: I was just knocked out.
Larry: Oh.
Green: R-Red… Help me… please!
Red: …
He grabs Green’s hand.
Green: Thanks…
Red throws Green into the air!
Green: Aaaahhhhh!!!
Red: You’re pitiful!
He shoots a red beam at Green!
Green: Nooooo!!!
He is completely destroyed!
Everyone Else: Gah!
Red: You… idiots!!! You defeated my team!
Hooky: Well, you killed Green, so…
Red: Silence!
Culex: No!
Red: I’ll be back!
Bundt: But you never fought…
Red: Yeah, but this floor is taking too long!
Raspberry: He has a point.
They climb a ridiculously long staircase and enter a room with Valentina, Dodo, and the Shy Away in it.
Dodo: And now they’re on their way!
Valentina: No matter, my army will beat them.
Shy Away: Um, Queen Valentina-
Valentina: What?!
Shy Away: They’re here…
They all turn to the group.
Iggy: Hi!
All Three: Aaaaaaahhhh!
They run away but Larry manages to catch the Shy Away by flying.
Larry: We meet again…
Shy Away: Oh no!
Larry sets him on fire and he dies.
Larry: Let’s get them!
They go through a door and there’s no floor.
All: Uh…oh…
They fall and are met by a huge army of Red Ribbon soldiers with Dodo and Valentina behind them.
Group: D’oh!
Valentina: CHAAAAARGE!!!
The army charges and everyone starts fighting.
Soldier #1: Die!
Larry slams him into a tank, then lifts the tank and throws it over the ledge.
Larry: Follow my lead!
The group starts whacking the Soldiers with pictures of Hannah Montanna.
All: The horror!
They back away off the cloud.
Soldier #4: Aaahhh!
Eventually they start jumping like it’s a good thing.
Soldier #125: Last one in is a rotten egg!
Soldier #465: My turn!
Finally the entire army is dead.
Larry: Fornarnia!!!
Bundt: You were supposed to say that at the beginning of the fight.
Larry: Oops.
Valentina: Those…idiot soldiers!!!
Larry: Iggy, take care of Dodo. I’ll kill Valentina!
Iggy: Let’s do this my way!
Dodo: Fine.
Larry: I challenge you…to a guitar battle!
Iggy pulls out a guitar and one appears in Dodo’s hands.
Iggy: For every note you miss you take damage.
A random song plays.
Larry: All right Valentina, any last words?
Valentina: Attack!
Torte and Apprentice appear.
Larry: Who are these guys?
Torte: You forgot who ve are?!
Apprentice: How cruel!
They both whack at Larry with pots and pans, but he shoots fire at them and they run away.
Valentina and Larry: … Wimps!
Meanwhile with the guitar battle…
Notes Missed
Dodo: 15
Iggy: 0
Iggy: You’re weak!
Dodo: Grr… Whammy!
Iggy: Oh no!
Larry: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: SPEAR OF FEAR!
He shapes Bundt and Raspberry into the form of a spear!
Both: Gah!
Larry charges and whacks Valentina with them.
All Three: Gah!
Larry: Thanks, guys!
Both: @.@
Valentina: Take this!
She gets a spear of diamond out and whacks Larry in the head with it!
Hooky: I’ll help!
Larry: No! She embarrassed me! She’s mine to kill!
Hooky: … But she killed my friend.
Valentina: He disobeyed my orders!
Larry: You mean… she’s our common enemy?
Hooky: No, she works for him… the one who caused you trouble in the past.
Larry: I see. Go and fight then.
Culex: What about me?
Larry: What about you?
Culex: …
Hooky: I’ll kill you, Valentina!
Meanwhile with Iggy…
Iggy: I’ve almost beaten you!
Notes Missed
Dodo: 49
Iggy: 5
Iggy: Death Drain!
Dodo: Gah!
He collapses and faints.
Iggy: Victory!
He runs to the sidelines of the other battle.
Iggy: What’d I miss?
Larry: Nothing.
Valentina and Hooky are clanging hook and spear! Hooky gulps down a brown liquid.
Hooky: Fire Wheel!
He somehow manages to hold a match up to his face and breathe fire at Valentina.
Valentina: My hat!
She smacks Hooky around with her spear.
Both: I’m gonna kill you!
Hooky slashes her face with a hook and smacks her up into the air.
Larry: Can I finish her off?
Hooky: Sure.
Larry flies into the air above her!
Valentina: (holding up her spear) Die!
Larry: FALCON PUNCH!
He Falcon Punches her in the face and she smacks into the castle and it collapses on her!
Nimbus People: O.O
Larry: We beat her.
Dodo: Valentina!
Larry: All right, bird! Your turn!
Dodo: Wait! Will you let me join your team?
Larry: Why?
Dodo: I have nowhere else to go!
Larry: Fine.
Dodo joined the party!
Iggy: Let’s burn this place down!
Culex: Why?
Iggy and Larry: Why not?
They breathe fire and the whole building starts burning.
Nimbus People: Aaahhh! It buuurns!
Bundt: Where’s the Star?
Iggy: In that volcano.
Hip: It’s a volcano!
All: Uh…
They jump in the volcano and land on a spring.
Raspberry: Why is this thing here?
Larry: Shouldn’t the chapter end now?
Who is this Hooky guy? How did his friend
get caught up with Valentina? Why is Iggy so good at Guitar Hero? Find
out in chapter 9: Czar Dragon and the Axem Rangers! Plus a fusion!
Chapter 9: Czar Dragon and the Axem Rangers! Plus a fusion!
Bundt: A fusion?
Larry: Who will it be?
Dodo: I’m hungry!
Hooky: Focus!
Culex: This team is WAY too crowded! Not everyone will get enough lines!
Hooky: I’ll go. Besides, I need to report back to my boss.
Larry: But we’re like family!
Iggy: What about me?! I’m your brother!
Hooky: Yes. But we’ll meet again.
He vanishes.
Dodo: I’m hungry!
He eats the spring.
Larry: How are we gonna leave now?!
Dodo: I don’t know…
Larry: Well, there’s nothing much in this volcano except for Czar Dragon and Hinopio, so let’s skip!
SKIPPING!
Hinopio: Gah! How did you get here?
Larry: Magic.
Hinopio: Well hurry and buy something! I have other customers!
Larry: We’re the only ones here…
Hinopio: OK! I LIED! I NEVER GET ANY CUSTOMERS!!!
Larry: Well why did you have a shop in a volcano anyway?!
Hinopio: My mommy said it was cool!
All: …
Larry: Well, we’re gonna leave. But first…
He smashes the Arwing model.
Hinopio: That’s my most prized possession!!!
Larry: Skipping powers, activate!
SKIPPING!
Czar Dragon: Gah! When did you get here?
Bundt: Magic.
Czar: Dang. And my name is Czar Dragon!
I don’t feel like typing in Dragon!
Czar: …
Larry: We’re here to kill you!
Czar: But what did I do?
All: Nothing.
Czar: Uh…
Culex: Die!
He shoots shadow orbs at Czar and does heavy damage!
Czar: Gah! Wait! Is that… chocolate?
Dodo is seen eating a chocolate bar.
Raspberry: How could you EAT at a time like this?
Dodo: Yes. It is chocolate…
Czar: Chocolate? Chocolate?! CHOCOLAAAAAAAATE!
CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATE!!!! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAATE!!!
He starts chasing Dodo while still screaming “CHOCOLAAAAAAAATE!!!”
Iggy: Throw the chocolate in the lava!
Dodo: No!
Larry: Do it!
Dodo: No!
He narrowly avoids a chomp from Czar.
Culex: Do it… or else you will die!
Dodo: Fine!
He throws the chocolate in the lava and Czar is dumb enough to chase after it and he dies.
All: Victory!
???: No!
All: Huh?
Zombone: You must die!
Culex: You’re supposed to be dead!
Zombone: So?
Culex pokes Zombone’s forehead and he turns to dust.
Larry: All right!
They continue on and find the red Star Piece.
Larry: Happies!
He jumps for it but a red blur snatches it and Larry hits a wall.
Larry: Ow…
Axem Red: Haha!
The other Axems appear.
All: Hahahaha!
Larry: Give that back!
Red: No!
Larry: I’ll be your friend…
Red: No.
Larry: Aw, you’re mean.
They run.
Iggy: Don’t let them escape!
They run after them and find a spring out of the volcano, just as the Axems board the Blade.
Green: Looks like we have some pounding to do!
Both Teams: CHARGE!!!
The good guys hop on the Blade and the fight begins, but the Axems are too strong.
Pink: Pathetic.
Green: Losers.
Black: Freaks!
Yellow: I’m hungry…
Red: Do you give up?
Larry: Obviously since the author’s been really lazy in this chapter, that means the fusion fight will be at least semi-long.
Bundt: I think it’s our turn to shine! FUSION!!!
Raspberry flies into Bundt’s mouth and he starts glowing and shaking.
Black: What’s going on?!
Bundt: Yaaaaaaaa!!!
The glow becomes blinding, then it stops and a man is there instead. He has green hair, blue battle armor with a red cape, and four sword sheaths.
Man: Hello. My name is Mr. Bundt-Berry, and I hate to fight. And I only have one minute to stay in this form.
Rest of the team: What?!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: But wait, let me finish. *rips a really thick phonebook in half* But I still like to rip phonebooks apart!!!
All: Aaaah!
Pink lunges at him.
Pink: You must die!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: I hate violence!
He catches Pink in his hand and throws her into the lava.
Axems: Pink!!!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: This is very hard for me…
He lunges at Red and punches his head, tearing some of it off to reveal the wires underneath, then he picks Green up and whacks Black and Yellow with him, then he knees his back and drops him.
Good Guys: Wow…
Axems: @.@
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Let’s talk, work this out!
Red: Er… Ok. Say what you-
Mr. Bundt-Berry zaps the Axems with lightning.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: I’m a gentle soul who’s nice to everyone…
Axems: Aaahhh!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Why do you always have to fight? And why… are clowns so scary?
Red: Didn’t you know? All clowns are evil!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: …
He punches all the Axems in the face.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: As part of this fusion I must ask you six questions. And if your answers leads to peace you get a neat-o peace pin! But if they don’t lead to peace… *cracks a whip with thorns on it* I’ll take you down! And no pin…
Axems: That’s harsh!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Question one! How do we get people to stop fighting?
Yellow: Trick question! We should fight as much as we can!
Other Axems: Yeah!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Sorry, that’s wrong. You’ll have to talk to Mr. Bang Bang now!
He shoots them with a laser gun.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: This hurt me more than it hurt you!
Culex: Then you must be in a lot of pain!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Question two! What’s the most important to achieving peace?
Green: (I have an idea!) Is it… love?
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Yes!
Axems: Whew!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: But… love just ain’t enough!
He punches a hole in Green’s face but he’s somehow still alive.
Green: Gah! What’s wrong with you? What else do you need?
Mr. Bundt-Berry: It’s… more fighting.
Axems: What is wrong with you?!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Question three! How do you avoid a fight that seems impossible to avoid? Hey, are you guys playing along at home?
Black: Let me try… Hm… Wait… Of course!
Mr. Bundt-Berry has a giant ball of energy above his head.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: That’s incorrect!
He throws it at the Axems.
Black: Gah! I didn’t get a chance to answer!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Question four! Listen closely! Why did the chicken… *mumbles*
Axems: Wait, we didn’t hear you!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: You have five seconds to answer!
Red: Is it… bacon?
Mr. Bundt-Berry punches Red in the gut so hard that he collapses.
Red: Gah!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?!
Dodo: Was there even a right answer?!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Question five! Why is it important to protect people?
Red: I don’t know! It’s probably love or something!
Mr. Bundt-Berry is sitting near the edge while birds fly around him and one is on his finger.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: Hi, birdy!
Red: You weren’t listening!
Mr. Bundt-Berry: It IS love, but I don’t like how you said that!
The birds turn into hawks and start attacking the Axems.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: The last question is…why do you all seem so sad?
They tell a heartwarming story I’m too lazy to write down. But then Mr. Bundt-Berry slams them all onto the floor.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: WRONG ANSWER!
Culex: That’s cruel!
Red: We don’t have to take this! Axems assemble!
Red hops onto the machine while the others stand near it.
Mr. Bundt-Berry: I only have five seconds left! Then one minute will have passed!
Culex: That was one long minute!
He unsheathes his swords and slashes the machine, it then blows up and destroys the Axems, then Mr. Bundt-Berry splits back to normal.
Bundt: We did it!
Raspberry: Woohoo!
Larry: Nice job!
The volcano starts shaking.
Blade: It’s erupting!
Larry: I didn’t know he could talk… Quick! Hop on!
Larry grabs a giant Katamari and rolls them up, then lava spews up and they rise high into the air and Larry manages to roll the Katamari in the air and it lands in the Mushroom town, while Blade is consumed by lava and explodes. Then the Katamari theme music plays while Larry rolls the Katamari.
Mushroomers: Run!
Katamari music plays while Larry rolls to all the previous areas and rolls people and things up. He then rolls the Katamari over the destroyed bridge and pries his partners off, then they enter the Keep…