Shy Away slowly got up while Gaz was blabbing on about how cheesy and unoriginal the previous fight was. A brick was floating above a tree, as if looking to see from an author if something was okay. The brick was hit in the head with a brick for such foolish thoughts.
Gaz looked at the exit of the forest, then at Shy Away. He didn’t even ask a word about the Heart, as if he were enlightened by its sacred touch. “Shy Away…” he began, “why in the world did we enter the forest through the other entrance, when there’s another one right over there?” Shy Away shrugged his nonexistent shoulders. They left for Rose Town without any more words.
Gaz’s mother came and hugged her child. (The mother of that random baby hugged her kid too, but no one cares about her.) “Gaz, we were all so worried about you, going into the forest… This little Shy Guy saved you, didn’t he? YOU ARE SO GROUNDED, YOUNG MAN. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY UNTIL YOU’VE GRADUATED FROM ROSE HIGH SCHOOL, DO YOU HEAR ME, MISTER?!”
Once her rant was over, a brick landed in front of her with a sign attached. “It would be appreciated if you do not shout, say something stupid and or annoying, sing jingles about banana-flavored frozen food products, or say anything bad about raccoons within five paragraphs of someone else getting hit by a brick to keep from overusing my brilliant gimmick.
Lots of Hate,
The Author
P.S: This sign will self-destruct in fourteen thousand lifetimes. Yes, it was a rather poor design choice.”
Everyone looked at the sign attached to the brick for a second, then at Shy Away. “Shy Guy, we thank you for saving Gaz,” some Toad began. “But the plants are still purple!” Shy Away looked around. He was right. The purple was a bit less strong, but it was still very purple. “The Moleville Mines up ahead go deep into the ground. It’d be easy to control plantlife from down there with some newfangled machine, but that‘s just my input.”
Shy Away made a pose to look brave, but he ended up looking like a donkey covered in sparkling walrus tusks. Whatever that looks like... He flew off to Moleville.
=========================================================================
Moleville looked incomprehensibly odd. There were several cords about as wide as Shy Away coming in and out of the ground, and the earth had a strange purple glow. Moles were on top of their houses. “’EY!” shouted one. “THAT SHY GUY CAN FLY. HE’LL SAVE US ALL.” Shy Away thought about why they would need to fly. He poured some water on the ground, and steam came rushing up at his eyes. He stopped fluttering for a bit, flinching, and hit the ground, then jumped ten feet into the air, only to start flying again. All of the moles applied their paws directly to their foreheads. Do moles even have paws? Are they claws, palms, or what? And more importantly, have you had a banana sla- Never mind.
Shy Away fluttered into Moleville Mines, where the ground was covered in steel. A Goomba with a lump on his head was there about ten feet in, turned towards a machine. “I don’t want to tell you how to do whatever it is you do…” Shy Away began, “but no evil masterminds sit in the front of a dungeon with their evil machines. They usually go to the back.”
A few seconds later, the Goomba turned around. “Yeah, but then I would have to go through the entire dungeon myself, running the risk of getting smashed JUST for my beloved machine‘s daily checkup… WAIT. This is the guy I’m supposed to fight! I can finally test my speech!”
He cleared his throat. “NOW, FOOLS. Wait, that might come off as a bit mean…” He pondered for a bit. “Hi there, how’s it going? No…” He pondered again. “So, you’ve come to see me! Yeah, that’s good… You may wonder who I am. I understand this, as I camouflage with all the other pathetic Goombas. BUT NO. I am the first Goomba that plumber ever stepped on! Master Dimentio revived me in his quest for revenge, and now, I will help him in world domination! You see, this machine is a dimentifier! Every little inch of the ground it affects will give off a power equal to Dimentio’s standard offensive spell! Now, prepare to meet your…”
Shy Away smiled. “Aww, that Mushroom looks dirty. I should water it!” He flew to the Goomba, and once a single drop landed on the it, it was smashed, and the machine blew up at the same moment, revealing a passageway. Shy Away went to the ground and skipped atop the steel, wondering where the sage was if he had just earned the next Pure Heart. A pedestal fit for a Pure Heart to be on top sat in the room. But on it there was a note in fancy handwriting.
Hello, fools who thought they could get THIS beautiful Heart before me! I just stumbled upon it, but it would make an absolutely fabulous decoration for my fourteenth wedding redo with Boostie! You’re welcome to come to our wedding at Marrymore if you want to see something spectacular!
PS: We need a flower girl!
Upon notice of the last sentence, Shy Away found who he needed to see, and he nearly dropped the letter and his watering can.
He dashed out of the Mines so fast, he forgot he even had wings. He tripped out of Moleville and tore through Booster Pass, injuring a Lakitu severely in the process, which totally isn’t bias from the author. He ran right past Booster Tower (which happened to be the hideout of the Koopalings who ran away from Bowser a long time ago, but that’s not important yet) and his little marathon of complete ownage kept on through Booster Hill, where he didn’t even lose his breath.
And then he woke up after fainting from reading the letter.
He took to the air and flew out to Moleville itself. Everything was going as usual. Moles were singing the Moleville purples… err, Moleville blues, and the younger ones were still being idiots. He began on his little quest to Marrymore.
He traveled through Booster Pass. The smell filled Shy Away’s plant-loving nostrils, as some rather rebellious Spinies were getting revenge on a Lakitu. Shy Away just flew through Booster Pass, because it really isn’t interesting. Same with Booster Tower, and Booster Hill, the latter of which took Shy Away about ten boring minutes to go up. You know what that means? COMMERCIALS!
“Are you tired of lazy authors putting commercials in their writing? Do you just want to skip it and get on with the dang story? Well there’s a new invention on your keyboard! Hold the control button, then press the f button, and type in ASDFGHJKL, then press next twice! You’ll be at the end of the commercials just like that!”
“WE’LL GIVE YOU TEN THOUSAND COINS NOW. YOU GIVE US ONE MILLION LATER. INSERT CLEVER WORDING SO THAT PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WE’RE RIPPING THEM OFF HERE.”
“OH GRAMBI SLASH DAD, THERE’S A BRICK BEHIND YOU. Wait, you’re just my reflection. FUIOEHARGHAEUIROGHAERUI ~Bricks. Beware.”
ASDFGHJKL… err… Shy Away got up the hill, panting and trying to massage his wings with his little hands. Of course, he couldn’t. His hands were too stubby to even touch his wings. Back on subject, people were cowering outside the chapel, and Shy Away went to see what they were afraid of. Then again, he already knew the sage was in a chapel anyways.
Inside the chapel, Shy Away saw Torte and his Apprentice hiding behind a wedding cake. “EET EES ANOTHER VUN! BACK AVAY, FOUL BEAST!” He threw his Apprentice at Shy Away, and missed. Well gee, that was absolutely pointless.
Shy Away chuckled, and headed into the actual wedding hall. The Pure Heart sat on the altar, and Dodo was behind it. Booster was on top of three Snifits taking a nap. What? Things that actually matter? Well, sure. Valentina stood in the walkway angrily. “So, Mr. Ditch-a-Lot. Do you want to know how my thirteenth wedding redo went?” she said, sounding a bit insane. Booster woke up and said something about it being unlucky number thirteen, and a brick was thrown at his head.
Ignoring Valentina, Shy Away braced his watering can. “Queen Valentina, I need that Heart for something,” he muttered, and he was screamed at… no, I need a stronger word. MORTON! Morton randomly comes in with a pink shell on, as if an author was abusing his powers to get a human thesaurus. “I believe the word you are looking for is bawled, but that implies crying, which she’s not doing, so I suggest you use hissed, unless you want to go with an idiom, in which case, you should say ‘bit his head off’, which means yelled at.” He walked away.
… And he was hissed at. “You expect me to do give YOU of all people THIS?! After you ruined my thirteenth wedding redo by not coming?! EVEN THOUGH this Heart is going to make this wedding PERFECT?! I HAVE IT PLANNED OUT ALMOST PERFECTLY, YOU LITTLE BUTTERFLY!”
She grabbed him by the throat, but he smacked her skinny arm with his watering can. “Emphasis on the word almost,” he said coolly. He had two diamond saws coming his direction once he finished saying his awesome line. Shy Away fluttered upwards and knocked Valentina’s hat/hair onto the ground. Let me correct myself. Hat/wig onto the ground. She was bald. Valentina flew backwards to the altar in anger, and shot a blizzard at Shy Away. He got frozen against the wall above the doorway, but broke free.
Valentina was rushing at him with the spell “Crystal” charged up. Then he realized. He had more than plants on his side. He had more than potted plants, Mushrooms, Fire Flowers, babies, and a watering can. He had magic.
He threw a red orb of electricity into the air that sank into the ground. Once Valentina released the blocks of ice, a pillar of energy exploded beneath her, as the red orb flew into the sky (or the ceiling if you want to get technical, and I know you do.) Shy Away had used Willy Wisp.
Astonished, Valentina backed away. Her eyes were flaming (and it really contrasted poorly with her bald head) as she raised her arms. Shy Away moved to avoid whatever attack was coming, when he was suddenly frozen in an icy stalagmite. Immediately afterwards he saw Valentina summoning two snowflakes- Diamond Saw.
He felt a sharp pain in his side as the ice shattered. He winced, and found he had fallen over onto the ground. That sure was a heavy impact for a move that was supposed to be sharp, not blunt. He heard the scream of a bird and it worked like smelling salts on him. He fluttered up and saw the source of the hideous shout. Dodo had taken the hit of the diamond saws when he had shattered the ice to save Shy Away’s life. Shy Away watched Valentina’s face turn into a deformed beast of pure hideousness. Metaphorically of course. (Though you could argue.) Booster was watching the fight with utmost interest.
Shy Away began to hum a very short, sad tune. Valentina laughed at his song, thinking it was merely about Dodo‘s current position, but no one heard a thing. She fiddled with one of her ears a moment, thinking it was her, and began to cast water blast, but Shy Away had sung more than just a sad tune.
It didn’t work. She couldn’t activate the spell.
Shy Away smiled at his accomplishment. He had used another magical move known to the Shy Away people. Elegy. It was a move that muted opponents, and a muted opponent could not cast spells. Shy Away looked for something to use. His watering can wouldn’t do much, he couldn’t lift the piano, and usage of bricks was strictly banned for all who were not the author. He decided to throw Dodo’s metal hat at her. He thought about using Booster’s because of the horns, but it was probably covered in germs, considering how often Booster touches beetles and picks his nose. Anyways, he threw Dodo’s hat at Valentina, and conked her on the head. (Surprisingly, Dodo had a bald spot under his helmet.)
Booster AND his Snifits were now hooked on the drama of the scene. Valentina cursed silently at Shy Away, grabbed her wig, and ran off far, far away.
Shy Away looked at the Heart. It began to spin, and he then looked at Booster. Booster was very strong (“sage of power in the chapel”, the clue had said) and the only other person in the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Pure Heart moving toward an unconscious Dodo by his side. Apparently sages didn’t have to be remotely human. The bird got up and nodded, grabbing his helmet. Shy Away smiled and did the same, wondering how he picked a helmet up out of nowhere. He had found sage number three, the sage of power in the chapel.
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