Paper Mario: A Goomba Side Story

By birby6

Chapter 2: The Sands of Morton, Part One

We see our heroes just heading into Toad Town.

birby6: So this is Toad Town!

Goombario: Yup! Russ T’s house is over there, while the shop is over there. The Dojo is over there and…

Goombella: Goombario, I think you’re giving him too much information. And I think we were looking for Russ T?

Goombario: Oh yeah! His house is over there while…

birby6: You already told us!

Goombario: Oops, sorry. I get overeager when newbies come here…

birby6: It’s ok! Let’s go!

When they get there they see Russ T. reading some kind of book.

Russ T: Fascinating!

Goombella: Ummmm, Russ T?

He turns around.

Russ T: Hey, I know you! You’re Frankly’s girl, right?

Goombella: Yup, that’s me!

Russ T: I’ve heard so much about you! I can’t believe you found the treasure of the Thousand-Year Door! I’ve read so much about it but have never had the courage to go to the Palace of Shadow! If there’s anything you need all you need to do is ask!

Goombella: Actually there is one thing. Can you tell us what this is?

birby6 holds up the pink key he got from Larry.

Russ T: Hmmmmmmmmmmm…

Russ T then immediately backs away.

Russ T: It… It… can’t be…

birby6: What?

???: It’s me…

birby6: Huh?

The key floats up and shows it now has eyes, and a little bow on its head.

???: I know it’s kind of weird to see a key like this…

birby6: Well yeah!

Goombario: What are you?

???: My name is Lil. Lil Key.

Russ T: (stammering). I… I… heard about… you… You’re… the… the… key… of… of... joy… Are you not?

Lil: Wow. You sure are a brainiac! *turns to birby6* I think I should explain…

Goombario: O_O Maybe you should.

Lil: Ok. A long time ago Bowser had eight keys with incredible power but due to him being evil he couldn’t use the power. Knowing they had some use, he gave all of his kids a key because knowing that another person may be able to wield the keys’ powers back at him. You must find the rest of us for we hold the power to defeat Bowser and to find the secret on how you became a Goomba. I will do all in my power to help you.

Lil says a few magic words, then casts her energy out on birby6. birby6 learns Lullaby! With it hr can put opponents to sleep!

Lil: I now need to rest at Star Haven with our brethrens, the Star Spirits. I wish you good luck.

She goes away.

Goombario: O_O … Woah…

Russ T: Ummmmm… Now that the little light show is over I have something to help you on your journey.

Russ T hands them the book he had earlier.

Russ T: Don’t judge it as a regular book! It’s actually a magic book! It was supposed to lead to the magic keys but since I thought they didn’t exist I thought it was useless.

Goombella: So where does it say to go?

birby6 looks at it only to get temporarily blinded by flashing lights. Like the map in PM2 it flashes around the place they should go next. It flashes around a desert area right below Toad Town.

Goombario: I know that place! It’s Dry Dry Desert!

birby6: That must be a place where a key is being held!

Goombario: The only way to get there is by train, so we must to the Toad Town station!

birby6: Let’s go!

birby6, Goombario, and Goombella head to Toad Town station.

Russ T: Good luck!

On our heroes' way to the station they make a quick pitstop at Harry’s Shop. Goombario immediately eyes a slingshot.

Goombario: Woah, a slingshot! *turns to Harry* Hey Harry, how much for the slingshot?

Harry: 500 coins.

Goombario: (I’m sure birby6 won’t mind.)

He trades 500 coins for the slingshot. Meanwhile, Goombella bought a Boomerang and birby6 got a hammer each for 500 coins.

Harry: Pleasure doing business with ya!

They leave the shop. They soon get to Toad Town Station.

Conductor: You going to Mt. Rugged?

Our Heroes: Yup!

Conductor: Then hop on!

They do. Once everyone gets on, the train departs. Everyone just sits down and enjoys the view.

birby6: So you guys say you both went to Goom University together?

Goombario: Yup!

Goombella: Mario told me about another Goomba on his adventure wearing a blue cap while he was in Rogueport, and I immediately knew who it was but I never got the chance to tell him…

Goombario: We got a room together at Goom University too. You can imagine what it felt like.

There was a moment of silence. Then everyone started to laugh. The train then came to a stop.

Conductor: We’re here at Mt. Rugged!

Everyone gets off.

Goombella: So this is Mt. Rugged. I’ve heard so many tales about here. Some say this place was the birthplace of many dinosaurs. That’s why archaeologists found so many fossils here.

Goombario: Really? I’ve been here before and I saw no fossils.

Goombella: That’s because they’re usually underground.

Goombario: Oh!

They continue onto Mt. Rugged, battling many enemies and avoiding cacti. They eventually make it to a sterile-looking bridge. When they make it across, Goombario immediately pulls them back.

Goombario Wait! We have to be careful! We don’t want to run into….

Just then, a vulture-like enemy appears.

Goombario: … Buzzar.

Buzzar: Hey, you’re the ones who beat Larry! Morton told me of you! When I beat you, I can skip one of his annoying speeches! Looks like I’m going to have to bust you up!

*Battle Start*
Buzzar: 15 HP

birby6 uses his hammer.
Buzzar: 11 HP

Goombario uses his slingshot.
Buzzar: 7 HP

Buzzar casts wind.
birby6: 6 HP
Goombario: 6 HP

birby6 uses his hammer.
Buzzar: 3 HP

Goombario uses his slingshot.
Buzzar: 0 HP

You win! 75 exp.
*Battle Over*

Buzzar: Aah! I got whupped!
He falls off the mountain, hits the ground, and faints.

Goombario: Well, that was entertaining! Let’s keep going.

They do until they get to the desert.

Goombario: Don’t worry! As long as we follow the path it will take us to Dry Dry Outpost!

They follow the path. After avoiding Pokeys, Bandits, and Tweesters, they get to Dry Dry Outpost.

Goombella: Wow! I’ve never seen a town so… desert-like.

Goombario: Yeah. Now we need to see Moustafa.

birby6: Who?

Goombario: He’s the mayor of this village. He also has an item that can locate Morton’s Castle.

birby6: Well than, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!

They go to the rooftops and end up seeing Moustafa.

Moustafa: Hi Goombario. It’s been a long time.

Goombario: Yup!

Moustafa: Merlee foretold your arrival to me, so I knew you were coming. You need the Pulse Stone, no?

Goombella: That’s exactly why we came here!

Moustafa: Then here, take it.

Got the Pulse Stone.

Moustafa: The closer you get to Morton’s Castle, the faster it blinks!

Goombario: Ok! Now let’s go!

They head off to the shop first. Using their remaining money, birby6 buys a Dusty Hammer, Goombario buys a barrel full of beans (don’t ask why), and Goombella buys some Dried Pasta. They then head to the Toad House and restore their HP. Then they head into the desert. They follow the Stone until they get to a rock in the middle of nowhere with a hole in it.

Goombario: I think we’re supposed to put it in the hole.

???: Not so fast!

Then out of the blue comes….Jr. Troopa!.

Goombario: Jr. Troopa? I thought we got rid of you!

Jr. Troopa: You can never get rid of me! I learned a new trick too so there is no turning back now!

Goombella: Who is this guy?

Goombario: Some jerk who wants to kill us.

Jr. Troopa: I’m not a jerk! I’m an evil stalker!

Goombario: SURE you are.

Jr. Troopa: Grrrr! I’ll show you!

*Battle Start*
Jr. Troopa: 15 HP

Jr. Troopa: I learned a new trick! Watch and be amazed!
Jr. Troopa then grows a spike on his head.
Jr. Troopa: Your headbonks are now useless now! Mwahahahaha!

birby6 uses his hammer.
Jr. Troopa: 11 HP

Jr. Troopa: Hey, you have weapons? Where did you get those?
birby6: Definitely not from Bob’s Pet Store.
???: Hey!
Dark Koopa appears.
Dark Koopa: Did I just hear someone use my gag?
birby6: Ummmmmmm… Jr. Troopa used it! Get him!
Dark Koopa: Die!

Dark Koopa uses Jr. Troopa Assault.
Jr. Troopa: 0 HP

You win! 50 exp.
Goombario grows to Level 3.
*Battle Over*

Dark Koopa chases Jr. Troopa out of the desert.

birby6: Seriously, is that guy going to keep showing up?

Goombario: Jr. Troopa or Dark Koopa?

birby6: Jr. Troopa.

Goombario: I bet A LOT more times.

birby6: Oh.

Goombario: Now let’s put this Stone in that rock.

He does. Then the castle springs right out of the sands.

birby6: O_O … Woah.

Goombario: I’ve seen better.

They head inside to find the castle completely covered in sand.

Goombella: Where do you think Morton is?

Goombario: Knowing Morton, he’s probably lecturing his minions right now.

birby6: *gasp* Look!

They look to see the room getting filled with sand.

birby6: We’re going to drown in sand!

Goombario: Not on my watch!

Goombella: You don’t have a watch!

Goombario: Well… I do now!

Goombario dives under the sand and quickly… unclogs the drain?

Goombella: Wow. How did you know?

Goombario: This room was shaped like a bathtub.

Indeed, it is shaped like a bathtub.

birby6: Why would…

Goombario: Don’t question the unquestionable.

When the sand subsides they climb an extremely long staircase to find Morton in his speech room.

Morton: …And that concludes my speech.

Minions: Yay!

Morton: Now for the speech on wedding cake!


birby6: Not… so… fast.

He turns to see our heroes completely exhausted.

birby6: You HAD to make an extremely long staircase?

Morton: Yes, I had to because… HEY, you’re birby6! I should kill you now but I’m giving a speech on wedding cake because I like wedding cake and wedding cake is tasty because it’s so white and tangy! Now my minions, go massacre, maul, kill, murder…

Everyone except Morton: SHUT UP!

Morton: … Shutting up.

birby6: You were saying?

Morton: Oh yeah. Minions, ATTACK!


Our heroes quickly sidestep, causing the minions to fall down the extremely long staircase.

Morton: -_- I must do everything myself, don’t I?

*Battle Start*
Morton: 20 HP

birby6 uses his hammer.
Morton: 18 HP

Goombario switches with Goombella.

Morton causes an earthquake.
birby6: 7 HP
Goombella: 7 HP

birby6 uses his hammer.
Morton: 16 HP

Goombella uses Headlight Flash.
Morton blocks the attack.

Morton causes an earthquake.
birby6: 4 HP
Goombella: 4 HP

birby6 switches positions with Goombella.
Goombella throws her boomerang.
Morton: 14 HP

birby6 uses his hammer.
Morton: 12 HP

Morton starts talking.
Goombella: Aaaaah! My ears!
Goombella becomes confused.

Goombella is confused. She attacks birby6!
birby6: 2 HP

birby6 uses the Dried Pasta.
birby6: 5 HP

Morton spits fire.
Goombella: 2 HP

Goombella is confused. She throws her boomerang.
Morton: 10 HP

birby6 throws his Dusty Hammer.
Morton: 9 HP
Morton goes into a state of shock.

Morton is too shocked to move.

Goombella snaps out of confusion. She throws her boomerang.
Morton: 7 HP

birby6 uses his hammer.
Morton: 5 HP

Morton spits fire.
Goombella: 0 HP
Goombella faints.

birby6 switches Goombella with Goombario.
Goombario uses his slingshot.
Morton: 3 HP

Morton starts talking.
birby6 becomes confused.

birby6 is confused. He uses his hammer.
Morton: 1 HP

Goombario uses his slingshot.
Morton: 0 HP

You win! 110 exp.
birby6 grows to Level 3! birby6 learns Shock Bonk! With it, he can make opponents shocked!
Goombella grows to Level 3! Goombella learns Rally Wink! With it, she can give someone an extra turn!.
*Battle Over*

Morton: X_X

birby6: Yup, he’s dead.

Goombella: No he’s not. We just knocked him out.

Goombario: This is no time to argue! We’ve got to get the key!

birby6: Where could it be?

Everyone searches. Goombario eventually finds it in one of the corners of the room.

Goombario: I found it!

birby6: Then let’s get out of here!

birby6 goes toward the staircase, only to trip and fall down it. Remember, it’s a REALLY long staircase.

Goombario: There go his nine lives.

Goombella: That’s for cats!

Goombario: Oh!

Read on!

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