Sub-Chapter 6: Are You Smarter Than A Koopa?
Bowser: NO @&%$ WAY!
Kammy: Your Badness, what is going on? Did the news I gave you finally kick in?
Bowser: It’s amazing… Taxes are going down!
Kammy gasps but snaps back.
Kammy: Your Cheapness! Mario has defeated your son Larry!
Bowser: Wait, he didn’t die? Drat! … I mean good. So what happened to him?
Kammy: Details are he was rescued by the Star Spirit.
Kammy brings in a sad Larry to his room.
Larry: Hi, King Pop.
Kammy: Do I send him into the dungeon?
Bowser: Look at him. He looks sad, probably just because his henchmen, who is probably a plant, died. His misery is good enough for me.
Roy: I could say the same thing, Pop.
Roy comes into the room.
Bowser: Roy, Mario is going after you and your Star Card. Think you can manage it?
Roy: Are you kidding me, Pop? With my strength and intellect, I’m sure to beat those lousy Mario Bros.
Bowser: I’m not so sure about the intellect part.
Roy: Trust me, Pop. I have a great plan that Mario can’t foil. Soon Flower Fields will be the new site for my Sports Hall.
Larry: Flower Fields?
Bowser: Hmm… Kammy, on second thought, lock up Larry in his room.
Kammy: Yes, Your Abusiveness.
Kammy leads Larry out of the room and escorts him into his room. As soon as she leaves Larry gets his wand out.
Larry: I have to help them…
Meanwhile with Peach and Twink…
Peach: You must be cheating!
Peach throws away the chessboard and its pieces.
Peach: Why can’t we ever play something fun? I wish I could play a fun game and win…
Twink starts to glow yellow and releases a flash of bright light. Peach covers her eyes to prevent going blind. When she opens them she sees the door opening. Standing in the doorway are a Koopatrol and a Hammer Bro.
Koopatrol: You sure about this?
Hammer Bros: Positive. Hey Peach, you busy?
Peach slaps the Hammer Bro.
Hammer Bros: Okay, stupid question. Well, since you got nothing else to do, want to play a game?
Peach: I’m not so su-
They pick her up and go to another room in the castle. Twink hurries up and sees the room has been made to look like a gameshow.
Hammer Bro: Welcome, ladies and gents, to the 64th annual Are You Smarter Than A Koopa?
Fake audience with tape recorder: *cheering and clapping*
Hammer Bros: Thanks for coming. Today we have Rick, David, and a special guest, Princess Peach.
Peach: Uh… Hi?
Hammer Bro: Okay, we are giving out a fabulous prize along with consolation prizes for you losers.
Hammer Bro: Okay,
first question: Who is the greatest guy of all time?
D) Chuck Norris
Peach quickly presses a button.
Peach: I’m going with Bowser.
Hammer Bro: Correct. Okay folks, expect for it to get tougher. Second question: Who did Mario have to fight to get the third Star Spirit?
A Koopatrol is about to push his button but Peach hits hers first.
Peach: Tubba Blubba, his heart, and Ludwig
Hammer Bro: Correct! Al right, third question: If Bowser could only save one of his ch-
Bowser: What’s going on here?
Hammer Bro: Oh, hello, mighty King Bowser. We are uh… just in the middle of a gameshow…
Bowser: Awesome! I want in.
Hammer Bro: Uh, we already have three people…
Bowser fries one of the Koopatrols, then takes his spot.
Bowser: You don’t have one anymore. Luckily I’ll be taking his spot.
Hammer Bro: Okay…
Back to the question: If Bowser could only save on of his children, who
would it be?
D) He’d let them all die
Hammer Bro: Lord Bowser, you have to push your button if you have the correct answer.
Hammer Bro: Correct!
Bowser: WHAT?! She didn’t push her button!
Hammer Bro: Well she had the correct answer.
Bowser: What does that mean?!
Hammer Bro: Uh,
next question: What is Bowser’s IQ?
B) To small to count
C) Bowser has a brain?
D) Over 9,000!
E) Both B and C
Bowser: It’s obviously D.
Hammer Bro: Yeah… That’s incorrect.
Peach: Both B and C
Hammer Bro: Correct! … Oops.
Bowser: Why are these questions about me?!
Hammer Bro: This has nothing to do with the strike. *cough* Question 5: How does one get to Flower Fields? Is it-
Peach: Through the Flower Gate.
Hammer Bro: Uh… Correct?
Hammer Bro: Next question: Who is-
Peach: Roy and Huff ‘n Puff, WHN, Peach, 256!
Hammer Bro: … Correct! … For the next four answers?
Hammer Bro: Peach, that is amazing! How did you know the answers to the next four questions?
Peach: You left a copy of the answer sheet in my booth.
Bowser’s head explodes from anger. The Star Rod revives him but he is all red. Peach and Twink decide to leave before it gets ugly.
Hammer Bro: Oh dear… Well folks, that’s it for this year’s annual Are You Smarter Than-
BOOM! The room explodes.
Peach: That was fun!
Twink: Hmm, it seems we accidentally found where the next Star Spirit is. Better go tell Mario.
Twink flies out the nearest window and Peach decides it’s best to return to her room…
Chapter 29: Fight on the Sea
Misstar lets go off Mario & Co.
Mario: I thought we were going to be fried… Thanks for saving us.
Misstar: Thank you guys for saving me. I am Misstar, and I grant you my power.
Mario can now call for Misstar’s help!
Misstar: There are only two of us left. Please rescue them as fast as possible.
Mario: You got it. Team, let’s-a go!
Mario & Co leave as Misstar ascends to Star Haven. When they get to the village they see a huge party awaiting them.
Mario: What’s all this?
Chief Yoshi: You have saved our young and now you have saved the island from the monster. We are doing this in appreciation of your courage. There we be a huge feast-
Mario: Say no more!
So Mario & Co start partying like they deserve. Toad decides too go to the inn for a bit, and sees…
Toad: OMG It’s Lucas!
Lucas: Huh? Oh, hello there.
Toad: Cool! What are you doing here?
Lucas: My pals and I have just defeated Porky. We decided to take a little vacation in the MK. We found this neat little island, and here I am.
They start talking for a bit. Meanwhile WHN has just realized something.
Mario: Uh oh…
WHN: He fell in the lava… You think…
Luigi: I highly doubt someone could’ve survived if they fell in lava. Well, at least we saved your sister that you said lives here.
WHN: She moved with some Koopa… err, Koops I think.
Mario sees the Chief approaching holding a charred chest.
Chief Yoshi: My friends, as a token of our gratitude I would like you to have this. A Yoshi found it after the eruption.
Mario opens it and out comes a fried Kolorado.
Kolorado: Ugh… You can’t keep a good explorer down…
After resting and partying some more it soon becomes night. Mario walks up to the Chief Yoshi.
Mario: It’s been fun and we appreciate the party, but we have to get going.
Chief Yoshi: I understand. I wish you luck my friends.
After kicking the party members awake they head back to the whale.
Kolorado: It seems our dolphin friend is asleep.
Whale rams his head into Kolorado. Kolorado comes back crawling.
Kolorado: Quite rude, old bean.
Whale: I take it you guys want to go back to Toad Town?
Whale: 100 gold coins… each.
Whale: Is there a problem?
Mario and Luigi take out their hammers.
Whale: Okay, hop on.
The Whale mutters something and Mario & Co get on. They start to leave when they see what looks like a bat heading their way.
Bat?: I’m almost there. I can’t believe I had to wait ‘til night to get here.
The bat spots the Whale and sees Mario riding it.
The bat swoops down and tackles Mario.
Bat?: I found you, Mario!
A coffin appears and the bat goes inside. It comes back out as Count Troopula.
Trroopula: Now I’m going to make you pay!
Mario: Did you fly all the way over here?
Troopula: Yes. You don’t think I would be stupid enough to swim, did you? Now die!
Troopula swoops in on Mario but Mario takes out his hammer and hits him away.
Mario got the first strike!
Count Troopula 35/40
Troopula stops himself and goes to kick Mario. Mario gets out his hammer and gets ready. Just as Mario swings, Troopula does a loop and Mario misses! Troopula rams into Mario and starts to carry him out into the ocean.
Luigi: Mario! Ah-ha ha!
Luigi Super Jumps on Troopula but to Luigi’s horror he drops Mario. Bow quickly floats over to Mario and grabs his arm.
Mario: Whew… Thanks Bow.
Bow: Ugh! Think you can lay off the pasta, Mario?
Troopula sees Bow holding Mario and sky bombs towards her. Bow sees him and turns invisible. Troopula lands in the water. Bow quickly floats back to the Whale and drops Mario. Troopula arises out of the water and goes to tackle Mario. Mario waits and jumps on Troopula, bringing him down. They start pummeling him with their hammers. Troopula spins around and knocks them back. He takes to the skies and looks at Mario.
Troopula: Mario, you always seem to get stronger. With you it’s always a challenge. However, your attack pattern is the same.
Mario: What does that mean?
Troopula: More Power!
Troopula grows a spike on his head.
Mario: T_T That’s it?
Troopula quickly dives down and rams into Mario. Luigi tries to hits Troopula with his hammer but Troopula spins around and knocks Luigi back. Mario tries to throw his hammer but… can’t.
Mario: What the?!
Troopula: Looking for this?
Troopula hold out Mario’s Hammer Throw badge.
Troopula: Prepare for a burial at sea, Mario!
Troopula starts flying at fast speeds.
Count Troopula 20/40
Troopula rams into Mario again. Mario tries to keep his eye on him but he is too fast. Mario sees him coming and jumps. Troopula misses Mario but not Luigi. He grabs Luigi and starts swinging him around. He throws Luigi at Toad and they collide.
Luigi: Mamamia… Mario, Jr Troopa is much tougher now. How can we defeat something we can’t hit?
Toad: I know a way, but it will take some time.
Mario decides to listen to Toad and tries to hold of Troopula.
Mario: Hey ugly! Over here!
Troopula flies over to kick Mario. Mario puts up his hammer and blocks the attack. However Troopula kicks the hammer away and punches Mario. Mario falls onto the Whale’s back. Troopula flies up and goes to attack Mario. Luigi gets in Mario’s way and uses Lightning Uppercut. Luigi’s fist connects with Troopula’s shell spike. They stand there for a bit, equally matched. They both get knocked away but Troopula rights himself. Mario stands up and braces himself for another attack.
Troopula: You guys have no hope this time.
Toad: That’s what you think!
Toad: Everybody, hang on. PK Star Storm!
Suddenly the skies get filled with bright, falling meteorites. Mario & Co stare with awe at the attack Toad just released. Troopula stares too… which is a bad thing. He starts getting pummeled underneath all those meteorites. The water starts to get rocky and Mario & Co cling in order not to go overboard. A meteorite knocks Troopula down into the ocean. The waters calm and everybody looks at the young fungus.
Mario: That was insane! Where did you learn that?
Toad: Lucas came over to the MK and taught me that. He even gave me his autograph!
Suddenly the waters start to shake and a whirlpool appears. It starts to rise and collides with the Whale. Everybody gets knocked into the ocean. The whirlpool vanishes and Troopula stands in its place.
Troopula: *wheeze, gasp* Unbelievable! Well, now I have you guys where I want you… In Sushi-infested waters!
A bunch of Sushi fins start to encircle Mario & Co.
Mario: Mamamia! Toad! Can you do that again, please?
Toad: Sorry, Mario. *gasp* That attack exhausted me.
Luigi: Holy Ravioli! We’re fish paste!
Bow thinks fast as everyone else is panicking, and uses Spook. She scares all the Sushi away. The Whale heads over to Mario & Co and they get back on top of him.
Troopula: … ARGH! No more games!
Troopula quickly flies towards Mario. He tries to punch him but Mario backflips and reaches into his pocket. He takes out a Maple Super and quickly devours it. Mario + 10 HP + 10 FP! Troopula quickly tackles Mario but Mario grabs him! He swings him around and throws him towards Luigi. Luigi takes out his hammer and hits Troopula into the ocean. A whirlpool starts to form again and it rises out of the water. Mario however had swiped his Hammer Throw badge when he grabbed Troopula. He quickly throws his hammer in the middle of the whirlpool. They hear a muffled “pow” and the whirlpool settles back down. Mario then sees Troopula come in at high speed, Mario’s hammer in his hand.
Troopula: Let’s see how you like getting hit by a huge hammer!
Mario rolls out of the way and Troopula hits the Whale instead. The whale spews out water from his blowhole that hits Troopula. He lets go of Mario’s hammer and get launched into the ocean.
Troopula: You’ll pay for this, Mariooooooo- *splash!*
Battle Over! Mario wins = 20 Star Points!
Mario & Co remain silent on the rest of the way to Toad Town.
Chapter 30: Exploring Toad Town 3
Mario & Co get off the Whale and say their goodbyes.
Mario & Co: Goodbye, Mister Dolphin!
Whale: I… AM… NOT… A @&%$ DOLPHIN!!!
The Whale’s scream blasts the group into Toad Town square. They land near Minh T’s garden.
Minh T: Careful, you dirty bums! You could’ve wrecked my garden!
Mario gets out of the pile and Minh T. gasps.
Minh T: Gasp!
I just said you gasped!
Minh T: Well sorry!
Toad: Who are you talking to?
Minh T: The guy in front of the computer screen… But that’s not important right now.
Minh T: Flower Fields needs your help, Mario.
Mario: Why would I care about a bunch of flowers?
Minh T: But…
Mario: Come on, team, let’s-a go… to the inn.
On the way to the inn, Twink crashes into Mario.
Mario: What’s up with you crashing into me?!
Twink: Uh… An honorable Star Spirit is being held in Flower Fields.
Mario: Don’t change the su- Wait, what?
Twink flies away and Mario & Co head back to the garden.
Minh T: You came!
Mario: It’s just because a Star Spirit is there. That doesn’t mean I want to help them.
Minh T: Okay, give me the seeds.
Mario & Co stay silent.
Minh T: The seeds… You did… get them… Right?
They continue staying silent.
Minh T: … HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET TO FLOWER FIELDS WITHOUT ANY MAGICAL SEEDS?!
Mario: Woah, calm down.
Minh T: Ugh… Fine. The Bulbs should be here in Toad Town soon. Find them and bring them here.
Mario: Right! Team, if we spilt up we’ll find them faster. Remember though-
Co: Don’t do anything stupid. Yeah yeah, we know.
Mario decides to check at the entrance of Toad Town
Mario: Hmm, maybe one of them will show up here.
He looks in the gate’s direction and sees a mob of Goombas.
Goomba Mob: We want Mario!
Toad Guard: For what?
Goomba Mob: We have proof that he destroyed our village with a tree.
Toad Guard: I’m sure you do. Now go away.
The Goomba mob tramples the Toad guard and sees Mario.
Goomba Mob: There he is! Let’s get him!
Mario runs away, the Goomba mob right on his tail.
Luigi decides to check out the entrance to Forever Woods. At the entrance he sees the same monster shadow of the rabbit. Luigi looks down at it, chuckling.
Luigi: To think that I would be scared of something like you.
The rabbit tackles Luigi and produces sharp claws. It roars like a tiger before beginning to rip Luigi to shreds.
Toad: What am I paying you for?!
Merlon: For the last time! If I could go into casinos I wouldn’t be stuck here, now would I?!
Merlon kicks Toad out and puts out a sign on his door that says “No Toads”.
WHN decides that instead of looking for the Bulbs he will take a rest at the inn. WHN heads for the inn and sees Kolorado near the inn.
WHN: Kolorado? I thought you were going back to Koopa Village.
Kolorado: I would, dear boy, but there is a great big brute stopping me from my destination.
WHN: Don’t worry, Professor. I’ll handle this brute.
Kolorado: I say, dear chap, you sure you can handle him?
WHN has already started walking to Pleasant Path.
WHN: How bad… could… he… be? *gulp*
WHN is standing face-to-face with Kent C. Koopa.
Kent C: Money makes the world go round.
Wario: I-a agree with that statement! Ah ha ha ha!
WHN: Get out of here!
Kent C: Did you just tell my assistant to buzz off? For you to get to Koopa Village, it’s going to cost you 500 gold coins.
Wario: So-a hand it over… unless you want a beating from us!
WHN: Uh… I’d rather just-
Kent C and Wario gang up on WHN. Kolorado sees his chance and goes through.
Kolorado: Brilliant plan, old bean! Thanks for distracting them!
WHN: No - Ow! Ahh! - problem…
Bow decides to check out the Forever Forrest entrance as well. She gets there and finds Luigi getting ripped to shreds by a demonic rabbit. Bow uses Spook and scares the rabbit away.
Luigi: Oh… Thanks, Bow… I think I’m dieing…
Bootler: Nice spooking, madam.
Bow: Ugh! Bootler? What do you want?
Bootler: Now now, madam. I came here to give you this. You left it behind at Boo’s Mansion.
Bow got the Fan! Bow learned the move Fan Smack!
Bow: Ahh yes. Thank you, Bootler. You may go now.
Bootler leaves for Boo’s Mansion. Bow sees a Bulb come out of Forever Forrest.
Bow: Ahh, good timing! We have been expecting you.
Bulb: Woah what happened to him?
Luigi: Get me to a freaking hospital!
Bow: … He’s fine. We need the seed.
Bulb shrugs and hands over the Magical Seed to Bow. Bow got the magical seed! Bow grabs Luigi and head towards Minh T’s garden.
Watt sees Toad dusting himself off. Watt goes up to him.
Watt: What happened?
Toad: Lousy Merlon wouldn’t come with me to the casinos. We could’ve made it HUGE with all his magic mumbo jumbo.
Watt: Wait… Why didn’t you ask Merlon where a Bulb is?!
Toad: Ask about what?
Watt shocks Toad and heads to Rowf’s Badge Shop.
Watt: Maybe Rowf knows something? Hey Rowf-
Rowf: Hey, just what I needed! A light bulb!
Rowf grabs Watt and screws her into a sign that reads “Rowf’s Badge Shop”.
Mario is still running away from the Goomba mob. Mario gets cornered near Club 64.
Goomba: Say your prayers, Mario!
Mario thinks fast and throws his hammer at the mob. They move aside and the hammer goes past them.
Mario: Oh boy…
Goomba: He’s defenseless. Get-
Mario’s hammer ricochet of a tree and hit a wall of Club 64 with extreme force. The wall then fell on the Goomba mob.
Mario: Whew! Close one.
Tayce T: My wall! You’re going to pay for this, Mario!
Mario runs away, Tayce T. following with a butcher knife in hand.
Luigi: Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!
Bow: Oh stop complaining!
Bow is dragging Luigi to the Toad Town inn.
Bow: You just rest up and I’ll go deliver the seed, okay?
Luigi: All this blood is scaring me… I’M GOING TO DIE! I just know it…
Bow: Shut up! Are you a doctor?
Luigi: … I used to be.
Bow throws him inside the Toad Inn. Luigi lands on the bed and quickly falls asleep. The door opens and a figure creeps in and knocks out the Toad at the inn. It checks the Toad’s pockets.
???: Six gold coins?! Hmm, nice-looking wife you got, see. Maybe I’ll look her up while you’re at the hospital. Huh?
It spots Luigi sleeping on the bed.
It creeps over to Luigi and reaches into his pockets. Luigi wakes up and the figure stops in its tracks.
Luigi: Huh… What?
He looks over and POW! Luigi gets hit in the head with a burlap bag.
???: Always put bricks in a burlap bag, see? Now to run!
Luigi: Why are you talking to yourself?
Luigi can’t see the figure due to the enormous pain in his head. However he does see it running out the door. Luigi takes a shot and throws his hammer at him. It hits it on the back of its head and sends it flying.
???: I regret nothing! …see.
Toad: OW! What hit me?
Toad sees the burlap bag filled with bricks. Next to it is a wallet.
Toad: Ooh, dibs. 50 gold coins! Sweet! I was starting to get hungry.
Toad goes to South Toad Town and heads to Club 64. He sees a sign on the door.
Toad: “Going to kill Mario. Back whenever.” Well, I’ll help myself.
One pigging out later…
Toad: *BURP* That was good.
Bulb: Hello? Is this place open?
The Bulb is looking through the hole in the wall. Toad turns around and sees the Bulb.
Toad: Uh… No.
Bulb: But I just saw you eati-
Toad: If I just ate could I do this?
Toad goes outside and finds a pool. He starts swimming in it but soon gets a cramp. He sinks but luckily the owner of the pool fishes him out, then kicks Toad out. Toad lands face-first on the ground next to the Bulb.
Bulb: Uh… No. I guess you couldn’t do that if you just ate.
Toad: Now *ow* enough small talk. *pain!* Do you have any seeds?
Bulb: Ah yes, of course!
Toad got the Magic Seed!
Toad: Thanks. *Ack!* Now to… drag myself to the garden. *It hurts!*
WHN: Legs broken… Ribs shattered… Self-esteem gone. I’m going to die soon, I know it…
WHN looks in the direction of the scream and sees Watt on a sign.
Rowf: Shut up! You’re scaring away all my customers.
WHN: Well I guess I’ll help.
WHN drags himself to Rowf’s shop.
WHN: Hey Rowf. Mind letting my friend go?
Rowf: Hey, I know you! You hang out with that con Mario!
He cocks his shotgun.
WHN: Well if you are going to shoot me why don’t you tie your shoelaces first?
Rowf: Ahh, thanks buddy.
Rowf goes to tie his laces and WHN smacks the gun out of his hand.
WHN: All right, you free my pal Watt or else you’re going to get shell-shocked in the face.
Rowf: Ergh! Fine…
Rowf releases Watt.
Watt: Ahh, thanks Koopa. I’d hug you if I had arms.
WHN: Don’t mention it.
Just then WHN gets trampled by Mario, who is still being chased by Tayce T.
Mario: Sorry Albert!
Bow gives Minh T. the seed and she quickly plants it. Bow spots the dieing WHN and Watt.
Bow: What happened to him?
Watt: Well Mario trampled him, but he was a wreck already when I saw him.
Bow: Watt, go to the store and fetch him a Super Mushroom or even a Life Shroom.
Watt goes to South Toad Town.
WHN: I can see the light…
Bow: You’re staring at the sun.
WHN: Hmm, that’s why my eyes are burning.
Bow: You’ll be okay… I think.
WHN: My game is ending. There was still so much I wanted to do… See my sister again… Get even with Mario… Actually getting a girlfriend instead of kissing the doorknob every Saturday night…
Bow: Woah there, too much information. What happened to you anyway?
WHN: Ugh, big Koopa… and ugly fat man… beat me up… on Pleasant Path.
Bow leaves WHN and heads towards Pleasant Path. Ahead she sees Kent C. Koopa and Wario.
Kent: Wario, it seems we have another customer.
Bow: Are you two the thugs that hurt the poor, defenseless Koopa?
WHN (from Toad Town): Hey!
Kent: What if we did? What are you going to do about it?
A few hits later…
Kent: We surrender!
They run away, leaving Bow laughing at them. Bow returns to Toad Town.
WHN: You’re alive… err, still have your afterlife. How… how did you beat them?
Bow: Oh, I just slapped the big Koopa hard enough that he fell on that fat man. He couldn’t get back up and I just kept slapping his tail. Where is Watt with that Mushroom?!
Watt is at the store when she remembers something.
Watt: I have no money!
Watt decides to search Toad Town to try to find someone to help her. She goes to the train station. There she spots a Bulb.
Watt: Excuse me, Mister Plant.
Watt: Do you have any herbs or anything else to cure a friend of mine?
Bulb: All I have is this Magical Seed.
Watt: ! Right, the mission! Uh, can I please have that? We need it for the garden.
Bulb: Oh, good. Please hurry up and plant it. Flower Fields needs your assistance.
Watt got the Magical Seed!
Watt quickly goes back to East Toad Town. Bow stops the young Sparky.
Bow: Did you get the Mushroom?
Watt: But I got a Magical Seed.
Bow: Good enough.
And so with Mario & Co…
Mario arrives at the garden with a few cuts around his body, Luigi gets out of the inn and is upset, Toad is seen dragging himself to the garden, and the others are already there.
Mario: Mamamia… You guys have any luck?
Luigi: Well I got my wallet stolen… That’s a kind of luck.
Toad: Hey guys, I found a seed *oh, my aching muscles!* and a wallet!
Luigi smacks Toad and takes his wallet back.
WHN: I’ve had the seed for a while now.
Bow: I’ve already given the seed.
Watt: And I found the last seed.
Minh T: Great work!
Mario: That’s all we get? “Great work”? We nearly died one way or another.
Luigi: How do you know?
Mario: Because we look like a total wreck.
Minh T: Whatever.
Minh T plants all the seeds and soon the door to Flower Fields appears.
Toad: How does that even work?
Minh T: The power of nature.
WHN: That’s stupid.
Minh T. grabs the group and shoves them through the door...