The Dark Prognosticus, Chapter 1: Paper Mario, The TRUE Story

By Dimentio

Chapter 36: It’s Cold But That’s Not The Worst Part

The fainted party members come out of the warp pipe along with Mario. Mario falls down from exhaustion. The penguins spot them and take them to the inn.

A few hours later…

Mario: What the…?

Mario gets up and realizes he’s at an inn. He sees the Toad inn sipping hot cocoa. He gives a mug to Mario.

Toad: Oh good, you’re awake.

Mario: Thanks. What happened?

Toad: A bunch of penguins saw you unconscious. They brought you and your friends to the inn.

Mario sees his party members all in beds.

Mario: Well, where are we?

Toad: You are in Shiver City.

Mario jumps out of his bed.

Mario: Shiver City?! Hmm… We got lucky I guess. Where is Starborn Valley?

Toad: East of here, but it won’t be of much use to you.

Mario: Huh?

Toad: The mayor of Shiver City has ordered a lockdown after some deranged lunatic came through here. If you want to go anywhere you’re going to have to ask the mayor.

Mario: All right. I need to wake up my partners.

After the members get rudely awakened, they leave the inn.

Toad: Why did you kick us?!

Luigi: Yeah! I’m still sore after that explosion.

Mario: Come on, we have to hurry!

Suddenly Mario remembers something.

Mario: Hey Toad, you still have whatever that thief was after?

Toad: Sure.

Toad pulls out two pairs of boots.

Luigi: Hot dog!

Mario and Luigi got the Ultra Boots! They put them on and start walking towards the mayor’s house. Toad however hears something on the way there.

???: Pss! Hey you!

Toad: Huh?

???: Yeah, you! Come here please.

Toad goes in the alleyway and approaches the figure.

Toad: Who are you?

Popple: Me, see!

Toad gets out his squeaky hammer.

Toad: What do you want?

Popple: I have been observing you for some time, see.

Toad: Stalker.

Popple: You’re skills… They are excellent!

Toad: Get to the point.

Popple: I want you to be my new rookie, see!

Toad: What?

Popple: Your skills at swiping, running, fighting, trickery; why, they are all great!

Toad: I don’t know…

Popple: With you as my rookie you can have anything you like!

Toad: I’m still not convinced.

Popple: I’ll give you a cookie.

Toad: What cookie?

Popple looks at his empty hand and sees Toad munching on a cookie.

Popple: What the?!

Toad: I got hungry while you were blathering.

Popple: See! This is what I was talking about. Join me!

Toad: Hmm…

Popple: Think it over…

Popple goes back into the shadows and disappears. Toad leaves the alleyway and heads back to join the group. They enter the house and the mayor’s wife greets them.

Mayor’s Wife: Well how do you do?

Mario: We’re here to talk to the mayor.

Mayor’s Wife: Why sure. He is in the back.

They enter and see the mayor on the floor.

Toad: Is he asleep?

Luigi: I don’t think so…

They walk towards him and Mario pokes him. He doesn’t move. The door opens behind them and they see the mayor’s wife.

Mayor’s Wife: Darling, did you slip and fall again?

She walks over to him and inspects him.

Mayor’s Wife: … EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! Someone killed my husband!

She runs back and gets the sheriff.

Sheriff: Who could have done this?!

The mayor’s wife points at Mario.

Mayor’s Wife: He did it!

Mario: No I didn’t!

Sheriff: If you didn’t do it, who did?

Mario looks around and grabs WHN.

Mario: He did it!


The sheriff puts him in cuffs and takes him away.

Mayor’s Wife: Well I’m glad we caught the murderer before he got away.

Bow slaps Mario behind the head. Suddenly they hear some movement behind them and they see the mayor wake up.

Mayor: Boy, I really hit my head hard this time.

Mayor’s Wife: You’re alive!

Mario: Oh dear, we just sent Phillip to jail.

Mayor: Why, you’re Mario, aren’t you?! Why, welcome to Shiver City. What brings you here?

Mario: We need to get to Starborn Valley, and would like our friend out of jail.

Mayor: Sure thing, Mario. I’ll send both messages right now.

They leave the mayor’s house and head towards the police department. On their way there they hear something from an alleyway.

???: I’m huuuuuungry.

Mario looks and sees a penguin inside a box. However he is no Bumpty or Plit penguin. He is a male baby emperor penguin from the Real World. However he is quite big for a baby, especially his stomach/body area. He has a red scarf around his neck and a rainbow-colored snowcap on his head. His body is very round in shape, with stubby web feet. His face is chubby and round as well. He is shivering inside the box, and Mario & Co approach him.

Mario: Hello?

The penguin faces them but doesn’t say anything.

Mario: My name is Mario. Who are you, little… err, big guy?

???: My name is Junior.

Luigi: Well Junior, what are you doing here all by yourself?

Junior: I’m an orphan. I have no family, parents, or home, and I’m huuuuuungry.

Mario and Co feel sorry for the baby penguin. Then Mario gets an idea.

Mario: How would like to travel with us?

Junior looks at them but doesn’t say anything. Mario takes out a Hot Shroom and shows it to Junior. He grabs it and devours it messily. He gets up and hugs Mario. Mario starts smelling foul cheese in the air but forces himself not to push Junior off.

Junior joined their party!

Mario: Okay Junior, let’s-a get moving.

They walk into the police station and go to WHN’s cell.

Mario: Hey there, Albert.

WHN: I hate you. What are you doing here?

Bow: Isn’t it obvious?

Lakilester: We’re here to get you out of the can, man.

WHN: WHAT?! No! I’d rather stay here. It keeps me away from Mario.

Watt: Too late.

The sheriff comes in and unlocks WHN’s cell. They grab him and leave the station. On the way…

WHN: What is that?

He points at Junior.

Mario: Why, that’s Junior. He will be traveling with us until we can find him a new home.

Junior: I’m huuuuuuuungry.

Mario: Hmm, I already gave you something to eat. Come on, guys, lets’-a go to the shop and stock up on supplies.

Luigi: Then we should go to Toad Town so Tayce T. can cook them.

They go over and stock up with as much as they can carry. Then Luigi heads over to the warp pipe.

Luigi: Uh, Bro! We have a problem.

Luigi points to the warp pipe and Mario looks inside. He sees frozen sewer water clogging up the pipe.

Mario: Hmm. Looks like we can’t see Tayce T. now. Well, let’s-a move on ahead.

The leave Shiver City and start walking down Shiver Snowfield.

Watt: Boy, it’s getting colder.

Mario: So, it’s just a little nippy. Things could be worse.

Luigi: Mario, don-

Jr. Troopa: Ah ha!

Jr. Troopa gets in their way.

Mario: You?! All the way out here?!

Jr. Troopa: Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! You have no idea how long I’ve been here! I hate this place!

WHN: Well we hate you! Get out of our way, pipsqueak!

Jr. Troopa: Well I have a new trick up my shell. Prepare to die!

Jr. Troopa kicks Mario in the shins and he falls over.

Jr. Troopa got the first strike!

Mario 26/30
Luigi 29/29
Toad 28/28
Jr. Troopa 50/50

Mario: Okay, that’s not fair! First off, he gets the first hit, and now he has more HP than me?!

Jr. Troopa: Ultimate Power!

Jr. Troopa wields a magic staff and dons a cape. He rises up into the air and starts floating around.

Jr. Troopa: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mario and Co: *gulp*

Junior: I’m huuuuuungry.

Jr. Troopa: Die!

He fires geometric shapes toward the crew. All of them get out of the way but Junior. Mario turns around and notices Junior just standing still.

Mario: Junior, get out of the way!

Junior notices the deadly shapes heading towards him.


BOOM! A huge cloud of smoke envelops the area.

Mario: No!

The icy wind soon clears out all the smoke, and standing there is Junior.

Junior: Ow! That huuuuuuurt me.

Jr. Troopa: How did you-

Mario and Co: Survive that?!

Jr. Troopa takes another shot at it and fires towards Mario and Co. They successfully dodge the attack and Mario jumps towards Jr. Troopa. Jr. Troopa aims and hits Mario with his staff. Junior puts himself in Mario’s way and Mario lands on him.

Mario: Hey, something soft broke my fall.

Junior: I’m huuuuuuuuuungry.

Luigi: Uh, don’t you say anything else?

Mario jumps back as another geometric shape is fired. Junior gets hit again but is still standing.

Jr. Troopa: Okay, I don’t know where you got that… thing, but I’m focusing on you now.

Jr. Troopa makes a giant sphere of electricity and fires it towards Mario. Mario hits it back with his hammer. Jr. Troopa quickly smacks it back to Mario and Mario hits it back again. It keeps going back and forth until Mario Power Smashes it. The sphere of electrical energy quickly hits Jr. Troopa before he has time to react. He is covered in electricity but is still floating. Luigi takes out his hammer and hits Jr. Troopa. He lets out a scream before plummeting back down to the ground. Mario and Co start pummeling him to a pulp.

Mario 23/30
Luigi 29/29
Toad 28/28
Jr. Troopa 30/50

Jr. Troopa withstands the attacks and gets out his staff. He quickly shoots out three spheres of dark energy. Mario quickly jumps back and avoids the attack. However Luigi and Toad don’t and are hit hard. They fall to the floor just as Jr. Troopa rises up again.

Jr. Troopa: Heh heh heh heh. You like magic tricks? Well I’m sure you didn’t like that one. Die!

Jr. Troopa starts charging up a huge attack and Luigi and Toad aren’t getting up. Jr. Troopa fires dozens of small electrical spheres towards them. Suddenly Junior gets in front of the huge attack and takes all the hits.

Junior: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGhhhhhhh…

Junior falls down… dead.

Mario: NOOOOOO… Huh?

Jr. Troopa’s laughing gets cut short when he hears something as well.

Jr. Troopa: Do you hear nuclear waste radiating?

They look at Junior’s body and it starts glowing green. He sinks into the ground and then the glowing stops. They look down the Junior-shaped hole, but-

Junior: Argh!

Mario and Co: AAAAAHHHHHH!

Junior: Must… destroy… mankind…

Junior climbs out of the hole and heads towards Mario and Co.

Jr. Troopa: This is fun to watch.

Mario and Co are frozen with fear as Junior gets closer to them. Bow snaps out of it and slaps Junior.

Junior: Ow! That huuuuuuurt me.

Junior reaches into the rolls of fat on his stomach and takes out a sandwich.

Mario: Okay, no time to be disgusted by that. We have an egg to crack.

Toad: Lame.

Mario uses Power Jump but Jr. Troopa shoots a fireball towards Mario, stopping him dead in his tracks. Mario falls back down and Luigi helps his brother up. They start running when they see Jr. Troopa making the immense electrical sphere. Jr. Troopa unleashes dozens of the electrical spheres again. Mario and Luigi duck just as they are about to be hit. Now the spheres are heading towards the party members.

Mario: Look out!

Luigi: I can’t look!

Junior turns around and notices the electrical spheres heading towards them. He opens his mouth and-


He makes a burp so powerful it makes sonic waves. The sonic waves push the spheres right back to Jr. Troopa.


Jr. Troopa falls back down and Mario and Luigi start pulverizing him.

Mario 16/30
Luigi 14/29
Toad 13/29
Jr. Troopa 10/50

Jr. Troopa does his black sphere trick again and severely hurts Mario. However the attack knocks out Luigi.

Mario: Bro!

Jr. Troopa gets up again and starts shooting out dozens of geometric shapes heading towards Mario. Bow quickly moves in and uses Outta Sight. The geometric shapes turn around and go after Toad instead.

Toad: Ooh, what the-

Toad doesn’t run away in time and gets hit by all the geometric shapes. An explosion occurs that knocks Toad into a tree. Toad falls down fainted.

Jr. Troopa: I rule!

WHN is about to move in when Junior cuts in front of him.

WHN: Wha?! Junior, no! It’s too dangerous!

Mario falls down from exhaustion and Bow tries to get him back on his feet. Just then they see Junior rushing by.

Mario: What?! Junior, what are you doing?

Jr. Troopa: Let’s have fun with a fire magic trick.

Jr. Troopa spins his staff and creates a huge flaming meteor. He fires it at Junior but Junior keeps on charging!

Bow: He’s going to get himself killed!

Bow goes to turn him invincible but Mario grabs her.

Mario: Let’s wait a bit.

Bow: But-

Junior continues charging at Jr. Troopa and the meteors fall right toward him. Junior finally notices and curls up his flipper. The meteor is about to strike when Junior punches it.

Junior: Junior Punch!

The meteor gets blown into smithereens and Junior’s flipper catches on fire.

Junior: *sniff, sniff* Hey, something smells good! Huh? AAAGGGHHH!!!

Junior starts running around trying to put his flipper out while everybody just stares at the remains of the meteorite.

Jr. Troopa: 0_0  I… think I’m seeing things.

Mario: Junior just punched that meteor into non-existence…

Jr. Troopa: Better heal myself!

Jr. Troopa says an incantation and heals himself. Jr. Troopa + 15 HP!

Mario: Now let’s get…

Mario falls back down and Bow helps him up.

Bow: Mario, you’re really hurt. Here, have a Mushroom.

Bow hands Mario a Mushroom but Mario rejects it. He looks at Junior, who was finally smart enough to put his flaming flipper in the snow.

Mario: Let’s-a leave it in Junior’s hands… just for a little while longer.

Junior sniffs his burnt flipper and starts chewing on it. Meanwhile Jr. Troopa charges another electricity sphere. He locks on to Junior and fires it towards him. Junior stops chewing on his flipper and looks behind him. The sphere makes contact with his stomach but bounces back to Jr. Troopa!

Jr. Troopa: How does that work?!

Zap! Jr. Troopa gets stunned in the air. Junior reaches into his rolls of fat again and takes out a bowling ball.

Watt: How did that get in there?

Junior chucks it at Jr. Troopa and he falls down.

Jr. Troopa: How did I get hit with a bowling ball?! Well at least the snow broke my fall…

Junior: Belly Flop!

Junior jumps into the air and is above Jr. Troopa.

Jr. Troopa: Huh? OH MY DAD!!!


Mario 1/30
Bow 30/30
Junior 30/40
Jr Troopa 10/50

Mario: Wait, Junior has more HP than me too?!

Junior gets off Jr. Troopa. Jr. Troopa somehow musters enough strength to get back up and float.

Jr. Troopa: Ugh! I smell like cheese! All ends here!

Jr. Troopa spins his staff and makes another huge sphere of electricity. From it he fires dozens of smaller spheres towards the group.

Mario: Not this attack again!

WHN: We’re all going to die!

Lakilester: How come I’ve being quiet, man?

Junior sees the incoming attack. He reaches into his rolls of fat and takes out a can of soda. He drinks it and waits. Just as the attack is about to hit him, Junior opens his mouth.


The sonic booms hit all the spheres back and they hit Jr. Troopa.

Jr. Troopa: Dear DAD that’s repulsive! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!

He gets hit with all the spheres of electricity and gets blown away by the burp.

Jr. Troopa: Curses! Foiled again! Hear this, Mario, you won because you had your mutant bodyguard, but next time you’ll payyyy…

Battle Over! Mario wins= 25 Star Points! Junior levels up! He now knows Ultimate Belly Flop!

Mario and Co are speechless as a baby penguin just took down Jr. Troopa.

Junior: I’m huuuuuungry.

Mario: What are you?

Junior: Hmm? I’m just your average, every-day, normal emperor baby penguin.

WHN: Let’s not go nuts… although I think I’m already am.

Mario: Come on! No time to lose. We have to get to Starborn Valley.

Mario grabs his fainted bro and Lakilester carries the fainted Toad. They keep walking down Shiver Snowfield and eventually reach the entrance to Starborn Valley. A monster appears out of nowhere and stops Mario and Co.

Monstar: Oooooooo! Turn back now or I’ll eat you!

WHN: That does it! I’ve had it up to here with everyone trying to eat me!

WHN starts to pulverize Monstar out of rage.

Bow: Uh, I think he’s being too rough on the thing.

Soon Monstar reverts back to the Star Kids.

Star Kid: It’s too mean and big! Run away!

The Star Kids take off crying. WHN just stands still, a bit embarrassed.

Bow: Way to go. You just assaulted poor little star children.

Watt: Jerk!

Mario: Come on, Wallace. That was pretty harsh.

WHN: Oh shut up. If you ask me those brats deserved it for threatening to eat me.

They keep going and see Starborn Valley. However it is a bit of a wreck and most of the houses have been destroyed. They see the Ninji from Toad Town.

Ninji: About time you made it! What did you do to the poor Star Kids?!

Mario and Co: He did it!

They point at WHN. A bunch of Ninjis come in and grab WHN.

WHN: Hey, what’s going on?! What are you doing?!

Ninji: Punish time!

They grab him and take him away.

Merle: Ahh, Mario, you finally made it.

They see Merle approaching them.

Mario: Hello. Uh, what happened here?

Merle: That deranged Koopaling Lemmy and his minion attacked us. He said something about this being the perfect place to open his new circus. Luckily none of us were hurt, but he said he would be back.

Lemmy: No… I said “I will be back soon”… I think.

Mario and Co look behind them and see Lemmy’s doomship.

Lemmy: Fire the cannons!

Bill Blasters appear out of the ship’s hull and start firing Bullet Bills. The Ninjis grab the children and run.

Merle: He’s attacking again! Mario, please, you have to stop them!

Mario gives a Life Shroom to Luigi and Toad.

Luigi: AAAHHHH! Bro, what’s happening?

Toad: You woke me up at a bad time.

Mario: We have to stop Lemmy before he destroys Starborn Valley.

Lemmy: You can’t stop me!

Lakilester: Why, dude?

Lemmy: Uh…

Mario throws his hammer at the doomship but it doesn’t reach. Luigi uses Ultra Jump but can’t reach either. Toad is about to uses PK Star Storm when Bow stops him.

Bow: You’ll destroy the valley if you unleash that attack.

Toad: Then what can we do?

The Bill Blasters keep firing Bullet Bills at the valley. Mario pushes Luigi out of the way as a Bullet Bill heads right at them.

Luigi: Woah… Thanks, Bro.

Lemmy goes back inside and starts pushing buttons.

Lemmy: Activate the plumber pull. Set coordinates on Mario!

Lemmy aims at Luigi instead.

Lemmy: Hmm, that green look isn’t too good… Fire!

A hole opens up on the bottom of the doomship and a metal claw comes out. It grabs Luigi and takes him inside the doomship.

Hammer Bro: Uh, sir, I think we captured Luigi instead.

Lemmy: Oh… Of course I know that! Prepare to fire again!

Mario: Luigi, no!

Watt: What are we going to do?!

Junior: I’m huuuuuuungry.

Mario: !

Mario looks behind him and sees Junior.

Mario: Junior, I need you to use Atomic Belch on the doomship.

Junior: Why?

Mario: Just do it!

Junior opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

Junior: Hmm. Out of gas.


Toad: Lame.

Mario: Toad, get Junior a soda.

Toad runs quickly into a house and comes back, soda in hand.

Toad: Drink up.

Toad pours the soda down Junior’s throat.

Lemmy: Fire!


The metal claw comes out again but the sonic waves destroy it before it can grab Mario. The doomship starts rocking back and forth from the sonic waves.

Lemmy: Give me that one report on how much damage this ship has.

Hammer Bro: Uh, a damage report?

Lemmy: Don’t get smart with me.

Koopa Troopa: Those sonic waves are shortcircuiting our equipment. At this rate the ship will lose power and start to descend.

Lemmy: … What?

Goomba: This ship can’t take much more! It will fall soon if we don’t get out of here!

Lemmy: Oh. Then retreat. One plumber is enough for now.

To Merle’s relief, the doomship starts leaving. However, to Mario it is no relief.

Mario: Luigi!

Inside the doomship two Sledge Bros. put Luigi in a cage.

Luigi: Mario! Bro!

Mario falls down on his knees, tears in his eyes.

Chapter 37: Over Shiver Mountain and Crystal Palace Crawl

Merle: And so that is the situation.

Mario and Co are inside Merle’s house, or at least in its remains. Mario is sitting down, not really listening to Merle.

Lakilester: So let me get this straight… Lemmy is hiding in this place called the Crystal Palace.

Bow: This Crystal Palace is over Shiver Mountain, correct?

Watt: While the entrance to Shiver Mountain has been hidden.

WHN: So we have to get two items that will open up the way to Shiver Mountain?

Junior: That’s too long and complicated. Why don’t we just blast the mountain with some powder kegs?

Merle: All of you are correct except for that large penguin over there. One of these items is in my possession.

Merle gets out a scarf.

Junior: No thanks. I already have a scarf.

Merle: Not you, you idiot! This is one of the items needed to open up the way to Shiver Mountain. The other is in the possession of the mayor of Shiver City.

Merle notices Mario not hearing a word he said. Merle approaches him and puts his hand on his shoulder.

Merle: Look Mario, I know you’re upset about Lemmy kidnapping your brother. You must remain strong, otherwise, how do you expect to get him back?

Mario looks up and realizes Merle is right. He stands up and hugs Merle.

Mario: Thanks. And I’m sorry about listening to you.

Mario faces his party members with a smile on his face.

Mario: Come on! Let’s go get my bro back!

Mario and Co: Yeah!

Mario starts running, and his members fallow him.

Merle: But wait!

Mario slips trying to stop, and falls down face-first.

Mario: Well that killed it.

Merle catches up to the heroes with the scarf.

Merle: You forgot to take the scarf. You must get the other item that is located in Shiver City.

Mario: Ow… Right! Let’s-a go! … Can someone help me up?

One trip back to Shiver City later…

Mario falls down in front of the mayor’s house.

Mario: Pain coursing through my entire body… ugh…

Toad: Who would’ve thought that polar bears resided in Shiver Snowfield?

Junior: I’m huuuuu-

WHN: Shut up!

WHN slaps Junior. Junior looks at WHN and bites him. They start getting into a fight as Mario enters the mayor’s house.

Wife: Hello there, Mario. My, you look terrible.

Mario: Hey! I’m very handsome, mind you.

The mayor comes in the room.

Wife: I mean you look hurt.

Mario: Oh.

Mayor: Hello there, Mario. How are you?

Mario: Well your eyesight is obviously gone.

Mayor: What was that?

Mario: And your hearing.

Mayor: What?!

Mario: I said, lovely weather we are having.

Mayor: Ah yes, truly beautiful. Now what do you want?

Mario: I need an item to get to Shiver Mountain.

Mayor: Say no more.

The mayor goes to the other room and soon comes back in with a bucket.


Junior: I CAN YELL TOO!!!

Mayor: Uh, what was that?

Mario: The wind?

Mayor: Okay then, here you go.

Mario grabs the bucket, then stands up and leaves. He grabs Junior and WHN and heads back to Shiver Snowfield. The other members quickly fallow. Soon they make it to the field where the snowmen are.

Watt: So what do we do?

Lakilester: We wait for a miracle to tell us what to do.

Mario: What do we do with this bucket and scarf?

Bow: *sigh*

She takes the bucket and puts it on the snowman’s head. She grabs the scarf and wraps it around another snowman’s neck. The way to Shiver Mountain open up and Bow looks at them.

Bow: Are you guys really that dimwitted?

Mario: Nah. I just did that so you would do the work for me.

One Fan Smack later…

Mario rubs his cheek and leads them inside Shiver Mountain. Mario slips and falls after taking one step.

Mario: This place is entirely coated in ice.

WHN falls on his back.

WHN: I hate my life. Why can’t I find a cheap rope to hang myself?!

Bow: I don’t want to hear that talk. Little kids could be hearing this.

Watt: Yeah! There are two infants onboard, you know!

Mario: Shut up! The faster we get to the Crystal Palace, the faster I’ll be reunited with Luigi.

Mario stands up only to fall back down. Toad falls on him.

Toad: Hmm, anyone got any bright ideas?

Mario: ! Lakilester! Let us ride on your cloud over the entire mountain.

Lakilester: The entire mountain?

Lakilester looks on ahead and sees a long road.

Lakilester: Sorry, dudes and dudettes, but my cloud can’t take that long and heavy a ride.

Mario: Hmm…

Junior: I’m huuuu-

WHN: Don’t start with me!

Junior falls down on his belly and starts sliding around.

Mario: ! That’s it! Toad, jump on Billy.

Toad jumps on WHN and he retracts in his shell.

WHN: What do you think you’re doing?!

Mario: Now balance yourself on top of the shell.

Toad gets on WHN’s shell and balances. Mario takes out his hammer and hits the shell. The shell starts sledding though the ice as Toad hangs on. Mario jumps on Junior and hangs on.

Mario: Mush!

Junior starts sledding as well and they continue through the mountain. Soon however they see a dead end.

Toad: Uh oh. Where are the brakes?!

Toad jumps off as WHN continues heading off the cliff. Mario jumps off Junior and Junior continues as well. WHN goes flying once he reaches the ledge. As for Junior…


Not so much. He falls off and lands hard. Mario and Co fall down from the massive earthquake. WHN’s shell keeps flying until it hits a switch. A bridge connects the ledge to a road. The shell retracts to Mario and Co but two WHNs appear.

Bow: Oh dear…

WHN: Who are you!

WHN: Who am I? I am… I don’t know.

WHN: Hey Moron… err, Mario, you can tell I’m the real… one, right?

WHN: Pfft, you sorry excuse for a… Koopa. Moron, you know it’s me, right?

Mario: Hmm. I don’t know which one to hit.

WHN: Why don’t you hit the fake one with your hammer?

Mario: Only an idiot imposter would suggest that!

WHN: What?! Mario, don’t!

Mario takes out his hammer and hits WHN away.

WHN: I hate youuuuuuuu…

WHN???: Ha ha ha!

Mario: Freud, what’s so funny?

WHN???: When the boss said you guys were bright, he was wrong.

WHN??? spins around and transforms into a Duplighost.

Duplighost: See ya, sucke-

Mario hits the Duplghost away as well. They cross the bridge and keep going. Mario and Toad hitch a ride on Lakilester’s cloud to avoid slipping and falling. Soon enough they reach another dead end. On the wall next to them is a star-shaped hole.

Mario: Well now what do we do? We have to get to Luigi, quick!

Junior: I’m huuuuu-

Mario: Quiet!

Mario smacks Junior with his hammer up into the air. Junior crashes back down, creating an earthquake. The earthquake causes the ice staircase to spring up, creating a way to get to the Crystal Palace.

Madam Merla: ?! Hey, you fools didn’t come to me first so you can hear my incredibly long, boring story!

Mario: ZZZZzzzz…


Mario: *pop* Huh? Lady, you are boring enough.

Madam Merla disappears and the heroes go up the staircase and into the cave. There they see their reflections on the wall and WHN out cold. They grab him and go inside the Crystal Palace.

Mario: Woah. Huge place…

Mario sees the wall next to him is a huge mirror. Suddenly Toad starts to shake.

Mario: ?  Toad, what’s wrong?

Toad: My puzzle meter is wringing off the charts!

Toad takes a gadget out of his vest and looks at it.

Bow: When did you get a puzzle meter?

Toad: … Uh, I acquired it legally. That’s all you need to know. Anyway, this place is filled with nothing but puzzles!

Mario: I have no time to test my brain. I already know I’m a genius. I need to save Luigi, quick!

Mario looks at Junior, who is just looking at his reflection with much thought.

Mario: Junior!

Junior: Yes?

Mario: You can get through this place fast, right?

Junior: Maybe?

Mario: Hmm. Burp on the door. Maybe your belch can blow the lock off.

Junior inhales, then lets out his Atomic Belch. The belch knocks off the lock and door! It also makes a huge crack in the mirror wall. It starts to break and Bow uses Outta Sight to protect everyone from the broken glass.

Mario???: Uh oh. They broke the glass wall. Come on, guys! Time to run!

The “reflections” revert back into Duplighosts and run away. Bow turns the party back to normal.

Mario: This will be easy!

Mario and Co keep breaking down every door and advancing ahead. Soon however they meet with an iron door.

Duplighost: He he he. This should keep them out.

Mario: Junior! Knock it down.

Junior starts charging at the door and crashes into it. He then starts glowing white.

Toad: Junior is evolving!

Mario slaps Toad. Soon Junior stops glowing but he looks… different.

Old Man Junior: Whippersnappers, who put this door in my way?!

Junior looks ancient and is complete with a white beard, a hunched back, wrinkles, and a white beard. In one hand he is also now holding a cane.

Mario: Uh, Junior ,you okay?

Old Man Junior: Sonny, respect your commanding officer. Now, have we finally located Hitler?

Toad: What are you talking about, old geezer?

Old Man Junior whips Toad with his cane.

Old Man Junior: Whippersnappers these days. How dare you disrespect me?! I fought for your freedom in WWI! Now let me tell you about that. You see, it all happened when…

Mario huddles with the other members while Old Man Junior drones on and on.

Mario: Okay, maybe bringing him along was a bad idea.

Bow: Well, maybe not. He has gotten us out of rough spots.

Watt: He’s just a bit annoying.

Lakilester: Annoying or not, that penguin is cracking our style, man.

Toad: Ow… Hmm, maybe we can use that to our advantage.

They turn back to OMJ as he continues talking to the wall.

Old Man Junior: And then I charged in there with a grenade in hand and then I-

Toad: Uh, excuse me, Junior?


Toad: Ow!

Old Man Junior: Whippersnapper, you better call me General Junior!

Toad: I just wanted to inform you that Hitler is just behind that door.

On the other side…

Duplighost: I just know the boss is going to be proud of us! Now those dimwits will never gets past he-

BOOM! The iron door gets blasted off its hinges and takes the Duplighosts with it. After the smoke clears OMJ is standing in the doorway, bazooka in hand.

Old Man Junior: I’m coming for you, Hitler. Let’s hustle!

OMJ starts walking slowly and trips on the ice.

Old Man Junior: Hitler got clever. Whippersnappers, help me up, stat! … Stat means now!

They pick him up and continue onward,OMJ blasting everything in sight. Soon however OMJ trips again and lands on his back.

Old Man Junior: Ah! My hip!

OMJ starts glowing white again and after a few seconds he is normal Junior again.

Junior: I’m huuuuungry.

Lakilester: Dude, shut up!

They open the next door and see three Albino Dinos.

Mario: Huh? Uh, can you guys help us?

Albino Dino: You can't go through here unless you solve the puzzle. Once you sol-

Suddenly Junior grabs an Albino Dino by its neck. He then holds a gun up to its face.

Junior: Tell me what you know about Penguin Gear!

Albino Dino: Penguin what?!

Junior: Tell me or I’ll shoot!

Suddenly the other two throw a blast of ice at Junior, knocking him down.

Toad: Are they angry?

They keep spewing out ice in random directions.

Lakilester: Yeah, I think so.

Mario 30/30
Toad 28/28
Bow 30/30
Albino Dino 10/10
Albino Dino 10/10
Albino Dino 10/10

Mario hits a Dino with his hammer but it doesn’t even flinch. It hits Mario with a blast of ice. Toad does the same attack and also ends up getting hit by a blast of ice. Bow slaps a Dino once and her stub aches with pain.

Mario: These guys’ defense is tough!

Mario uses Power Smash and smacks a Dino. It lets out a scream of pain but then fires out an icy breath. Mario backflips and avoids the attack.

Toad: Let me borrow that, thanks.

Toad swipes Mario’s Power Smash badge. He uses Power Smash on another Dino.

Bow: Watt, do you mind giving them a hand?

Watt: Not at all.

Watt uses Electro Dash on another Dino. They regroup and open their mouths. They charge up a huge amount of energy and release it into a freezing beam of ice. Mario and Co are literally frozen in fear.

Junior: Junior Punch!

Junior hits the beam with all his might. The beams cancel each other out, which results in an explosion. Junior gets knocked out.

Mario: Oh dear.

The Albino Dinos shake it off and prepare to fire again.

Mario: No you don’t! Power Smash!

Mario jumps in front of them but they are fully charged!

Watt: Mario, no!

Watt charges up electricity and uses Mega Shock! The Mega Shock stuns the enemies just enough for Mario to finish one off. Watt finishes off another and Toad swipes the badge again to finish off the last.

Battle Over! Mario wins = 30 Star Points!

Mario: Well that wasn’t fun.

A staircase appears and leads to a door encased in ice. Mario and Co drag Junior’s fainted body up the stairs. They hit the Heart Block and continue dragging Junior’s body outside the door.

Chapter 38: Freeze! With Fear!

Junior: I’m huuuungry.

Mario: What the?! I thought you fainted.

Junior: I was until you hit the Heart Block. I just didn’t feel like walking.

Mario and Co let go and go up the hill. At the top is a circus tent.

Lemmy: Okay, one more try!

Lammy stands in the middle of an arena ring, a microphone in his hands.

Lemmy: Ladies and other people! Lemmy’s Circus Bandwagon presents the man with the huge nose, Luigi!

Luigi comes out in a clown outfit with a chain around his leg.

Luigi: For the last time! My nose is normal-sized.

Lemmy: Have you seen a, uh… those reflective things that people hang on the walls?

???: Do you mean a mirror?

Lemmy: I think so.

Mario and Co enter the tent.

Mario: Luigi!

Luigi: Bro!

Lemmy: Mario?!

Junior: Junior!

Bow slaps Junior.

Mario: Release my bro as well as the Star Spirit right stat now!

Lemmy: Confusing me with words like stat will get you nowhere! You’ll have to get past me and my new friend. Come on out, Frosty the Snowman!

Frosty?: For the last time! My name is Crystal King, not Frosty!

Lemmy: Look, I made you, so don’t argue with me. I can call you whatever I want!

Mario: Are you two going to argue or are we going to fight?

Lemmy: The first option is tempting but I’ll go with the second one.

Mario 30/30
Toad 28/28
Bow 30/30
Crystal King 70/70
Lemmy 80/80

Mario: You have the first attack.

Lemmy: Prepare to taste my… uh, when I have rage towards someone?

Crystal: Fury.

Mario sees his chance and jumps on Lemmy’s head.

Lemmy: OW! Hey, you fibbed!

Lemmy takes out his wand and makes a ball appear. He jumps on it and shoots Mario with an ice beam. Meanwhile the Crystal King and Toad are playing winter baseball. Crystal King summons his Crystal Bits and fires them towards Toad. Toad takes out his hammer and knocks each one back at Crystal King.

Crystal: Stupid fungi.

Crystal King shoots an ice beam at Toad. Toad doesn’t get away in time and gets frozen. The Crystal King summons his Crystal Bits again and fires them at the frozen Toad. Bow gets in the way and uses Fan Smack. She hits the Bits right back at Crystal King.

Crystal: This is getting me nowhere.

On the other side of the ring, Mario starts dodging all of Lemmy’s ice beam attacks. Mario throws his hammer at Lemmy’s ball but Lemmy jumps before he can fall. Lemmy swings his wand and creates a freezing gust of wind. The gust makes Mario freeze for a second and that’s all Lemmy needs. He makes a frozen stalagmite appear from the ground and hit Mario. Lemmy starts charging up his magic wand, when the Crystal King crashes into him.

Lemmy: Frosty, watch where you are going!

Crystal: *sigh*

Toad gets smacks Crystal King with his hammer while he is distracted by Bow.

Bow: I can’t do any damage so I’m going to head out.

WHN comes out and uses Power Shell. Crystal King quickly floats up and avoids the attack. Lemmy however gets hit and loses his wand.

Lemmy: Drat!

Lemmy starts walking towards it but Mario gets it.

Mario: Looking for this, midget?

Lemmy: Give that back, you pesky plumber.

Lemmy tries to tackle Mario but it is to no avail. Mario jumps and lands on Lemmy. Crystal King sees Lemmy struggling and summons his Crystal Bits. He shoots them out at Mario. Two Crystal Bits strike Mario but the other knocks the wand out of Mario’s hand. WHN goes over to retrieve it but Crystal King fires out an ice beam and freezes WHN dead in his tracks. Mario jumps over the WHN icicle and heads towards the wand. Crystal King shoots out another ice beam but Mario jumps. However the ice beam freezes the ground and Mario slips on the ice when he lands. Lemmy easily skates on the ice and retrieves his wand.

Lemmy: Hmm, if you hate the ice that badly then I’ll cover the entire ring in ice!

Lemmy swings his wand and the entire ring gets frozen solid. Mario tries to get up but falls back down. WHN and Toad fall as well.

Lemmy: I got you where I want you, plumber!

Mario 16/30
Toad 22/28
WHN 25/25
Crystal King 58/70
Lemmy 62/80

Lemmy and Crystal King start charging up an attack. Mario is still having trouble getting up. WHN suddenly remembers something.

WHN: Oh, right!

WHN uses Fire Shell to melt the ice around himself and Toad. He then heads towards Lemmy and Crystal King. Both get hit by a clean shot and fall onto the ground. WHN does a 180 and hits them again.

Toad: Cool!

WHN: I am something, aren’t I?

Mario: Great job, Clause!

Lemmy gets up and shoots out geometric shapes at WHN. He gets hit and falls down. Crystal King quickly freezes WHN with an ice beam. Then both Lemmy and Crystal King shoot out another ice beam. WHN faints.

Toad: Lame!

Watt comes out and quickly uses Electro Dash on Crystal King.

Crystal: OW! Stupid kids today.

Crystal King quickly freezes Watt as well. Toad quickly comes in and hits Crystal King with his hammer. Mario finally gets up and long jumps to a non-frozen area. Lemmy shoots another ice beam at Mario. Mario jumps to avoid it but lands in a frozen area and slips.

Mario: If this keeps up we’ll lose for sure.

Mario reaches into his pocket and takes out a Fire Flower!

Lemmy: Oh crud.

Mario: Here we go!

Mario transforms into Fire Mario and faces the terrified Lemmy. Mario starts throwing fireballs at Lemmy. Lemmy shoots out ice beams but they only shrink the fireballs.

Mario: The coldest ice is nothing against fire!

Mario keeps throwing out fireballs at Lemmy. Lemmy tries to swat them back with his wand but his aim is bad. Crystal King meanwhile summons ten Crystal Bits!

Crystal King: Now Ice Spear!

The Crystal Bits merge to make a huge ice spear. Crystal King then targets Watt and fires an ice beam. Watt avoids it and Crystal King fires again. Watt keeps dodging all the incoming ice beams but then bumps into a cage. Crystal King sees his chance and freezes her solid. He then launches the huge spear at Watt. Toad throws his hammer at it but it barely chips away any ice. Watt is hit and faints. Toad uses Drain and attaches himself to Crystal King. Toad starts to sap Crystal King’s energy. However Crystal King’s temperature is well below freezing so it doesn’t take too long before Toad lets go. Lakilester jumps into the fray.

Mario 16/30
Toad 25/28
Lakilester 30/30
Crystal King 32/70
Lemmy 40/80

Crystal King: This is looking bad but luckily I can do this! Recover!

Crystal King and Lemmy + 20 HP!

Mario: Uh oh…

Toad: I’m on it! PK Star Storm!

Lemmy and Crystal King: What?!

Suddenly meteorites fall from the snowy sky and start pummeling Lemmy and Crystal King. Lakilester sees his chance and uses Spiny Surge. All the spines hit their mark.

Lemmy: Now that was just right down… uh, when you break the rules to gain an advantage?

Crystal King: Cheating.

Mario stomps on Lemmy’s head. Crystal King thinks fast and uses Recover again. Lemmy and Crystal King + 20 HP! Mario makes a huge fireball appear in his hand and throws it at them. Lemmy and Crystal King shoot an ice beam at it but nothing happens. They get burned under the might of the fireball.

Lemmy: Okay, time to cheat as well!

Crystal King nods and spins around. Two more Crystal Kings appear and they chuckle. Crystal King shoots a beam at Lemmy and the same happens to him. Mario makes another huge fireball and throws it at them. This time however the Crystal Kings take in a deep breath and blows out a howling blizzard. The fireball diminishes into nothing at the power of the blizzard.

Crystal King: Ha ha ha! The coldest fire is nothing against fire, eh? Well then, take this!

The Crystal King takes another deep breath and releases another howling blizzard at Mario. Mario wraps himself around with fire to protect himself. Still the blizzard slowly diminishes his fire shield. Lemmy sees his chance and waves his wand. A frozen ball appears with spikes sticking out. He shoots it at Mario and hits him hard with it. Mario loses his fire abilities. Crystal King then focuses on Toad. Crystal King prepares another blizzard and fires it towards Toad. Toad runs but slips on the ice and gets hit with the full power of the blizzard. Lemmy makes another spike ball appear but drops it when a Spiny Egg hits him in the back of his head. The Lemmy clones disappear.

Lakilester: I’m over here, dude!

Lemmy: Chill!

Lemmy swings his wand and a gust of freezing wind envelops Lakilester. Lemmy then hits him with geometric shapes. Mario slowly stands up and long jumps. Lemmy notices him and shoots an ice beam. Mario jumps again and uses Power Jump. POW! Lemmy falls down and Mario takes out his hammer. Lemmy quickly trips him and Mario loses his hammer.

Mario 9/30
Toad 17/28
Lakilester 23/30
Crystal King 55/70
Lemmy 51/80

Lemmy waves his wand and two clones of him appear. Lemmy however turns his attention back to Lakilester. They wave their wand and three frozen spike balls appear. They fire it towards Lakilester, who uses Spiny Surge. The Spiny Surge only manages to destroy one spike ball and the other two hit Lakilester. Mario jumps over to Lakilester.

Mario: You okay?

Lakilester: Honest truth? Not really, dude. I’ve got to help you dudes before my game is overed.

Lakilester focuses and uses Cloud Nine. The entire tent fills up with a mist. Crystal King unleashes another blizzard but the mist won’t go away. Lemmy can’t see where they are and starts shooting out ice beams in random directions. Mario finds his hammer and uses Power Smash on Lemmy. However it turns out to be a clone.

Lakilester: I’ll… get them for… you.

Lakilester uses Spiny Surge and defeats the clones. However Crystal King then figures out where Lakilester is and shoots out an ice beam. Lakilester gets hit and faints. Finally Junior comes out.

Junior: Junior can’t see.

The mist is still hanging over the tent. Mario sees Lemmy and uses Power Smash again. POW! Lemmy goes flying and hits the icy floor hard. Crystal King clones himself again and starts summoning more blizzards. Toad barely avoids the incoming blizzards. Toad jumps high into the air and brings his hammer down on a Crystal King. Through luck, it is the right one. Toad smashes Crystal King into the ground but that leaves Toad open. Crystal King shoots out an ice beam and freezes Toad. Crystal King then makes more clones appear and summons a blizzard that strikes the frozen Toad.

Toad: I’m a goner for sure! I have to eat something.

Toad reaches into his vest and finds… a frozen Mushroom?!

Toad: … Crud!

Crystal King approaches Toad and chuckles.

Toad: Can’t last… so… PK… STAR STORM!

More meteors hurl down from the skies and strike Crystal King and Lemmy. At the end of the attack Toad falls down fainted. However the meteors clear out the mist and everyone can see each other.

Junior: I love the circus!

Mario sneaks up on Lemmy and uses Power Jump. Lemmy falls back down but gets back up with rage. He swings his wand again but Mario backflips and avoids the gust. Lemmy quickly freezes the ground beneath Mario and Mario slips. Lemmy then smacks Mario with his wand and sends him pretty far.

Mario 6/30
Junior 40/40
Crystal King 36/70
Lemmy 17/80

Mario lands next to Junior as Crystal King prepares another blizzard attack. Mario hides behind Junior as Crystal King unleashes the attack. The blizzard hits Junior but he doesn’t even flinch.

Crystal King: How in the?!

Crystal King tries again but the same result happens.

Junior: Atomic Belch!

Junior releases his huge burp and hits all the clones. Crystal King and Lemmy get hurt as well. Crystal King quickly uses Recover. Crystal King and Lem-

Mario: Oh no!

Mario uses Power Jump on Lemmy. POW!

Lemmy: You stink! …Ugh…

Lemmy faints. Crystal King + 20 HP! Mario reaches into his pocket and takes out the only non-frozen Super Mushroom. Mario + 10 HP! Crystal King shoots an ice beam at Junior but still no effect. Junior gets annoyed and uses Junior Punch. Crystal King gets launched high up into the air and lands on Mario’s hammer! POW! Crystal King hits the floor hard.

Crystal King: This isn’t fair!

Crystal King clones himself and unleashes another blizzard but more powerful. Mario quickly hides behind Junior again. This time Junior gets damaged but still stands his ground. However a light envelops again and then standing there is Old Man Junior.

Old Man Junior: Whippersnapper, close the window. I feel a breeze.

Crystal King is confused but starts shooting ice again. OMJ uses Old Man Talk. OMJ starts rambling on about the old days and Crystal King gets dizzy. Mario uses Power Jump. POW! Crystal King is still confused. OMJ gets annoyed that Crystal King isn’t listening and uses Cane Whip. OMJ gets out a cane and hits Crystal King repeatedly with it.

Crystal King: That does it! Prepare to feel my true power!

Crystal King summons 10 Crystal Bits and transforms them into an ice spear. It goes for OMJ and hits him, creating a light mist. When it clears OMJ is still there!

OMJ: Sonny, I faced worse than that during the Vietnam War! Now take this!

OMJ uses Cane Whip on Crystal King again. Crystal King throws a Crystal Bit at OMJ and he trips.

OMJ: AH! My hip!

OMJ explodes and reverts back to Junior.

Mario: Okay…

Crystal King: Where’d you get this guy?!

Junior uses Junior Punch on Crystal King but he defends himself. Mario quickly uses Power Smash. POW!! Crystal King falls down dizzy.

Crystal King: I’m… okay… I’m…

Junior: Ultimate Belly Flop!

Crystal King: OM MY-


Battle Over! Mario wins = 45 Star Points! Mario and Co + 5 HP!

Mario: Finally it’s done. Now let’s go get Lemmy before he escapes with the Star Card.

Lemmy: What?! Am I that predictable?!

Lemmy takes a snowboard and heads out of the tent.

Lemmy: So long, suckers!

Lemmy jumps off the cliff, laughing his head off.

Mario: ?  I wonder if he knows that he forgot to take the Card?

Lemmy: !  Dang it!!!

Lemmy falls off to his demise.

Mario and Co have rescued the last Star Spirit! Now with only Bowser left, can Mario and Co stop him? Make sure to stay tuned… to the Dark Prognosticus.

Read on!

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