Chapter 4: A Stalker and a Giant Goomba
Mario and Toad were having a fairly easy time getting through the road. Mario kept on swatting any Goomba away and Toad launched out Mini-Stars. Soon Mario looked down the road and saw what looked like a Koopa still in his eggshell.
Jr. Troopa: Ahh, I love to go to Toad Town to eat some hamburgers.
Jr. Troopa looks and sees Mario. They stare at each other for a while, then Toad breaks the silence.
Toad: Who are you?
At this Jr. Troopa gets mad.
Jr. Troopa: What?! You never heard of Master Jr. Troopa? How dare you offend me?
Mario: Woah, easy there, little guy.
Mario goes over to pet him but Jr. Troopa bites his hand!
The enemy gets the first strike!
Mario 9/10
Toad 7/7
Vs.
Jr. Troopa 10/10
Mario jumps on Jr. Troopa. 1 damage. Toad takes out his squeaky hammer from Mario Party 3 and hits Jr. Troopa. 1 damage. Jr. Troopa jumps on Mario. 1 damage. Mario uses his hammer. 1 damage. Toad hits him with his own hammer. 1 damage. Jr. Troopa jumps on Mario. 1 damage. Jr. Troopa decides this is enough.
Jr. Troopa: RPG battles are boring unless you’re playing them, not reading them!
Mario: Right! So…
RPG-like battle!
Mario 7/10
Toad 7/7
Vs.
Jr. Troopa 6/10
Mario jumps towards Troopa but he rolls out of the way and runs into him. Mario gets pushed into a tree. Toad tackles Jr. Troopa down and Mario gets back up. Mario takes out his hammer and squishes the pinned down Troopa. Jr. Troopa kicks Toad away and lunges at Mario’s face. Mario runs around everywhere and Jr. Troopa gets off… just in time for Mario to hit another tree. Toad takes out his squeaky hammer and swings towards Jr. Troopa. He jumps it and is about to jump on Toad when… POW! Mario uses Power Jump and Jr. Troopa gets knocked down. Jr. Troopa gets up slowly.
Jr. Troopa: Hmm, it’s no wonder you’re famous for your fighting skills. However, take this! MORE POWER!
Jr. Troopa Attack + 1. He runs towards Mario again but this time Mario jumps to avoid. Toad throws his squeaky hammer at Jr. Troopa but he catches it! He starts to beat the living daylights out of Mario. Toad tackles Jr. Troopa and pins him down again. This time however Toad throws him up in the air and Mario takes out his hammer. As soon as he falls down… WHACK! Mario hits him and launches him away.
Battle Over. Mario wins! Mario + 20 Star Points.
Jr. Troopa: I’ll be back, Marioooooo! *ding*
Mario: Well that takes care of him. Come on Toad, let’s keep going.
Toad: Right.
They get to the part with the spring and see two big different-colored Goombas on the floor.
Blue Goomba: Who knew that little egg fellow could be so tough?
Red Goomba: I don’t know. We have to get healed before Mario makes it over here.
They stand up and see Mario behind him.
Both Goombas: Oh crud… RUN!
They run away and Mario just shrugs. He heads down the road and eventually they see a big castle. The Goomba Bros. enter the castle.
???: What?! He beat you up already?!
Red Goomba: Uh yeah, well, HE didn’t beat us up. It was a little egg fellow.
???: Erg! Well then I’ll take care of him myself.
Mario starts hearing thumping sounds.
Mario: Hmm. Either we are having an earthquake or someone really fat is playing jump rope.
There is one more huge thump, and Mario and Toad see the Goomba King.
Goomba King: I am-
Toad: Lame!
Goomba King: NO! How dare you make fun of royalty?
Toad: Hey, I make fun of Peach and Daisy all the time.
Goomba King: Well by the power vested in me by King Bowser, I shan’t let you past.
Red Goomba: You scared now, Mario, huh?
Blue Goomba: Why don’t you just go back to Goomba Village?
Mario: No way! They’ll kill me over there after what I did. I’m sure I can handle you guys.
Goomba King: Is that a fact? Well then, Mario, prepare yourself!
The Goomba King and his servants jump off into the battlefield.
Mario 10/10
Toad 7/7
Vs.
Goomba King 10/10
Red Goomba 3/7
Blue Goomba 3/6
Mario jumps on King Goomba. 1 damage. Toad launches Mini-Stars towards them. 1 damage each. Goomba King kicks Mario. 1 damage. Red Goomba headbutts Toad. 1 damage. Blue Gomba headbutts Toad. 1 damage. Mario hits Goomba King with his hammer. 1 damage. Goomba King kicks Mario. 1 damage. Red and Blue jump on Toad. 2 damage. Mario and Toad are upset.
Mario: Boring! Why is the author doing this?
‘Cause I can and will!
Toad: But this is so boring!
Fine. RPG-like battle.
Mario: 8/10
Toad 3/7
Vs.
Goomba King 8/10
Red Goomba 2/7
Blue Goomba 2/6
Mario charges at Goomba King, hammer in hand. Goomba King spins around really fast and kicks Mario. He gets launched and hits a tree. Goomnuts fall on Mario. Toad gets an idea and whispers something to Mario. Mario agrees and takes out his hammer. Toad throws all the Goomnuts in the air. When they fall back down Mario swats them away with his hammer. The Goomnuts hit the Goomba King and his servants. Red and Blue faint. Toad hits the tree and more Goomnuts fall down. Mario hits them with his hammer. The Goomnuts head towards Goomba King but this time he is prepared. He spins around really fast and starts kicking the Goomnuts back. Mario swats them back but once again Goomba King kicks them back. Back and forth the Goomnuts go. Toad starts to get dizzy but then gets an idea. Toad takes out his squeaky hammer and throws it towards the Goomba King. He gets hit by the hammer, then by a pile of Goomnuts. Mario uses Power Jump on the buried Goomba King. POW! Goomba King is defeated.
Battle Over. Mario wins! Mario + 33 Star Points!
The Goomba King and his servants go back into the castle. Mario sees a switch behind the Goomnut tree. Mario jumps on it and the castle rumbles.
Goomba King: Don’t tell me. You nitwits forgot to keep the switch in here and now Mario has found it.
Goomba Bros: Seems about accurate.
The castle starts to fall apart and the Goomba King is on the top of the bridge. The bridge pops open and launches the Goomba King away.
Goomba Bros: Run for it!
The Goomba Bros. jump of the cliff. Mario and Toad shrug and they cross the bridge and continue on their way to Toad Town. Kammy sees them from her broom and flies off to report to Bowser.
Sub Chapter 1: A Princess in Distress and a Noble Friend
Kammy flies to Bowser’s Castle and proceeds to enter his room.
Kammy: Your Handsomeness, I have news. Mario is alive and he is heading towards Toad Town.
Bowser: Oh my DAD! … Where did you get that chili dog?!
Kammy: In… the… kitchen.
Bowser: All right! Move haggy, I’m hungry!
Kammy: Your Awfulness, did you not hear what I said?
Bowser: Yeah… But not to worry, granny, my children will not fail me this time. They have their wands back thanks to this…
He holds up the Star Rod.
Bowser: And they said they will be bringing their finest troops. No way Mario can get any of them Star Spirits.
???: Right, Pop!
Kammy turns around and sees Iggy Koopa.
Bowser: What is it, Son?
Iggy: Me and my men want to show you the special move we were talking about.
Bowser: Ahh… And who are your troops again?
Iggy: My friends from digibutter.nerr. Come on in, you guys!
Four Koopas in different-colored shells appear in a puff of smoke.
???: Here come the Koopa Bros!
Iggy: Cool, huh?
Bowser has his mouth wide open.
Bowser: Excuse me for a sec.
Bowser goes into a closet. A lot of yelling is heard and Bowser steps back out.
Bowser: Iggy, I entrusted you with Eldstar and you have these… these… Ninjakoopa wannabes as help?!
Iggy: Don’t worry about it, King Pop. Just watch. Guys, assemble!
Bowser looks and sees an astonishing move. Bowser’s jaw drops from the overexposure of pure awesomeness.
Iggy: Well, what do you think, Dad?
Bowser: I… am… astounded! I should have never doubted you, Iggy. Also I’m sorry about that, uh-
???: Red!
???: Green!
???: Yellow!
???: Black!
Red: Together we are the-
Koopa Bros: Koopa Bros!
Bowser Yes, well, a bit dramatic, aren’t we? Anywho, good job, guys. By the way, if Mario is on his way right now, who is guarding the Star Spirit?
Koopa Bros and Iggy: !
Bowser: You dolts! Why I ought to-
He starts running after them and the Koopa Bros. and Iggy disappear in a puff of smoke.
Bowser: I need some cheering up. I’m gonna go to the kitchen first and then see the princess.
Bowser leaves, leaving Kammy to her thoughts.
Kammy: Why does he kidnap Peach if he is already married?!
Plit: That’s what we are wondering!
Bowser enters Peach’s Room and sees Peach flipping through channels.
TV: Welcome to Channel DDD! Today- *click!* Do you know what sharing is? *click!* And that is why Peach is dumb and ugly and why I am in all ways be better than her. *click!* Welcome to Luigi’s Do-It-Your-Stinking-Self Volume 25!
Peach destroys the television with her frying pan. She looks at the door and sees Bowser eating a chili dog. She throws the remote at him and knocks his chili dog away. He turns completely red.
Bowser: You and me. We are gonna Brawl right now.
Peach puts her fist up.
Peach: Bring it on!
A few minutes later…
Peach: I win… for the tenth time!
Bowser: Erg! Stupid Smash Ball! I came here for a smile and I leave with a frown.
Bowser leaves saying words not allowed to be heard by small children. Even though Peach was superior to Bowser in Brawl, she cannot smile.
Peach: Oh, I wish somebody could help me.
Tap, tap.
Peach: Won’t somebody come to my rescue?
Tap, tap!
Peach: Won’t somebody aid me?
TAP, TAP!
Peach: Oh won’t anybody-
CRASH!
Peach looks at the window leading to her balcony and see it’s broken. She sees a small star arise out of the pile of broken glass.
???: Lady, you need a hearing aid or something. Owie.
Peach: Who are you?
Twink: Why I am Twink, a Star Kid. I am here to grant your wish.
Peach: Why didn’t you knock instead of barging in?
Twink: T_T
Peach: Well sorry. Anywho, can you take the Star Rod back from Bowser?
Twink: No.
Peach: Can you help me save everybody who is trapped here?
Twink: No!
Peach: Can you get me a hamburger?
Twink: NO!
Peach: Then what can you do?!
Twink: Uh, well, I don’t know.
Twink starts to break down and cry. Peach tries to comfort him.
Peach: I’m sorry, but I am a bit off the edge. I had a fight with Mario before we got separated.
Twink: Oh. *sniffle*
Peach: Wait, Mario! Can you give this to Mario?
Peach gets out the Lucky Star and hands it to Twink.
Peach: Can you deliver this to Mario?
Twink: Yes! Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll be back in a jiffy.
Twink starts to leave but Peach remembers something.
Peach: Oh Twink, can you also give Mario this message? I love you Mario and I’m sorry. Please rescue the Mushroom Kingdom. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.
Twink: Got it, Princess.
Twink goes through the star-shaped hole in the window… and gets hit by a small meteor. Peach goes out to the balcony, wishing things were different before she got kidnapped.
Peach: Oh, my beloved Mario…
Chapter 5: It’s Just a Chapter… What Do You Want From Me?!
Mario and Toad have made it to Toad Town. On the way Mario has found the Hammer Throw badge. All the Toads are relieved that Mario is okay.
Mario: Come on, Toad, let’s go see Luigi.
Mario and Toad enter the warp pipe and arrive at Mario’s house. Luigi sits on the steps whistling a tune and sees Mario.
Luigi: Mario, you’re alive!
Mario: Well thank you.
Luigi: Well I guess you are going on another awesome adventure while I stay behind to take care of the house, huh?
Mario: When did I say that? Come on, join the party!
Luigi: Wahoo!
Luigi joins the party!
Mario: Ok guys, we need to head to Shooting Star Summit.
Toad and Luigi: Right!
They each get an umbrella and enter the warp pipe. They open up their umbrellas upon reaching Shooting Star Summit. Well it’s not called Shooting Star for nothing. They hike up the mountain and Mario sees the star from his dream.
Eldstar: Ah, Mario, glad you could make it.
The seven Star Spirits appear before Mario, Luigi, and Toad.
Eldstar: Mario, what we have to tell you is very important, so listen up.
Mario: Okey-dokey.
Eldstar: It all started at the beginning
of time. We………………………………....................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................
Mario: Okay.
Marmar: Then………………………………...........
………………………………..................................................................................
…………………….
Mario: I see.
Skolar: But Bowser ………………………………........................................................
……………………………….............................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
Mario: Interesting.
Muskular: Now he is invisible………………………………............................
……………………………….......................................
Mario: Really? *yawn*
Misstar: Even so………………………………..................................................................
……………………………….................................................................................
……………………………….................................................................
Mario: Un…belie…vable.
Klevar: There is still hope………………………………..................................................
………………………………................................................................................................
……………………………….........................................................................................
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Mario: *Zzzzzzz*
Kalmar: However even though………………………………...........................................
……………………………….................................
Mario: *zzzzzzzzzzzzz..snore..zzzzz*
Eldstar: So you must rescue us first. Only then can we grant you the power to defeat Bowser and save Peach and the Mushroom Kingdom. Got that?
Mario: *ZZZZZ…pop* Huh? Ah, oh yeah!
Eldstar: I’m glad you listened. Hurry Mario, for you are our last hope.
The Star Spirits disappear. Mario kicks Luigi and Toad and they wake up.
Toad: Rude. Well now what?
Mario: Let’s go back to Toad Town.
They run for it as their umbrellas have star-shaped hole in them. They get near Toad Town gate when…
THUNK!
A small meteor hits Mario and he falls down. Luigi helps his brother up and Toad inspects the meteor. Toad peals out a crushed Twink.
Twink: You… Mario?
Mario: Yes…
Twink: Ow. Hello, I am Twink. I have something for you from the princess.
Twink pulls out the Lucky Star and hands it to Mario.
Mario got the Lucky Star! He can now do action commands!
Twink: I’m sure a hero like you knows what action commands are.
Mario: Yep. Just a standard procedure.
Kamek: There you are!
Mario and others look up and see Kamek flying towards him on his broom.
Kamek: Haha! I knew if I fallowed that Star Kid I would find you. When I defeat you, Mario, Bowser will forgive me for all my failings and make me the head Magikoopa again. Get ready, Mario!
RPG Battle!
Mario and Co: No!
Mario 10/10
Luigi 8/8
Toad 7/7
Vs.
Kamek 25/25
Mario jumps on Kamek. 2 hits! 2 damage! Luigi jumps on Kamek. 2 hits! 3 damage! Toad throws his squeaky hammer at Kamek. 2 damage! Kamek fires out 3 geometric shapes. 2 damage each! Mario takes out cardboard?! Mario goes up to the RPG sign and starts nailing the cardboard. It now reads RPG-like battle!
Mario 8/10
Luigi 6/8
Toad 5/7
Vs.
Kamek 18/25
Kamek tries to divebomb Mario but Mario takes out his hammer and swats him away. Luigi jumps but Kamek avoids it! Kamek quickly does a 180 and hits Luigi with his geometric shapes. Toad goes up to Kamek and starts hitting him with his hammer but Kamek puts up his wand in defense. Kamek swats the fungus away and goes up high in the sky. He starts charging up a spell. Mario quickly uses Hammer Throw. He hits Kamek square in the face and he plummets down… into Luigi’s own hammer. Mario and Luigi hit him back and forth with their hammers. However when Kamek gets close to Mario he smacks him with his wand. Mario drops his hammer and Kamek actually slams into Mario. Mario hits the arch near the gate. Kamek starts shooting out fireballs toward Luigi. Luigi starts jumping frantically to avoid them. Kamek starts calling his broom back but Toad headbutts Kamek. Kamek gets dizzy long enough for Mario to pick up his hammer and squish Kamek underneath it.
Battle Over! Mario wins! Mario + 18 Star Points. Level up! Mario and Co + 5 HP!
Kamek is laying on the floor, unconscious and in pain.
Twink: Wow Mario, you are as strong as they say.
Mario: I know.
Twink: Oh, I almost forgot: I love you, Mario-
Mario: Woah Twink! I’m not that way!
Twink: No, you-
Luigi: Meatball.
Twink: Thanks. No, you meatball! I am giving you a message from Peach!
Mario: Oh. Oops, sorry.
Twink: Here is the message: I love you, Mario, and I’m sorry. Please rescue the Mushroom Kingdom. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. That is exactly what she said. Well, better go back to her side. Byebye, Mario, and good luck!
Twink goes all the way up and Mario has a smile on his face.
Mario: Okay guys, let’s go to that fortunetelling house.
Mario and Co. renter Toad Town and head towards the fortunetelling building. Mario knocks but there’s no answer. Luigi knocks but nothing. Toad bangs on the door with his hammer but no reply. They start banging on the door with their hammers and the door eventually falls off its hinges. Just then Merlon comes along with a grocery bag.
Merlon: Oh come on! Can’t I even go to the ding-dang grocery store to buy pudding without having some bums breaking down my door?!
Mario: We are not bums!
Merlon: Sure, whatever kid.
Merlon goes inside as do Mario and Co.
Merlon: Go to the east side of Toad Town. There is a road that will lead you to Koopa Bros. Fortress, where the first Star Spirit is being held.
Mario: You can read minds?!
Merlon: Yes n ow get out!
He kicks them out and they go to the east side of Toad Town. Mario and Co see a bunch of Toads blocking the road.
Mario: Move it, you stupid little fungi.
Red Toad: No!
Mario: Don’t make me hurt you!
Green Toad: Child abuse! I have it on speed dial on my phone.
Mario heads back to Merlon and tells him of the Toads. Merlon comes back out.
Merlon: You’re not Toads at all, are you?
Black Toad: What are you talking about?
Merlon: Reveal yourselves!
He shoots out lightning and it hits the Toads. They start to cry.
Yellow Toad: We’re suing!
They run off.
Merlon: 0_0 Oh dear.
Just then 4 misshapen Toads appear.
Red Toad: These costumes are great!
Green Toad: I told you that costume shop was good.
Black Toad: Yeah, now let’s go block that road.
They head towards the road and Merlon zaps them with lightning.
Red: Yeowch! That was a rental!
Merlon: Just as I thought, you guys are the Koopa Bros!
Koopa Bros: How did you know it was us? We were in perfect disguise.
Red: We’d better hightail it back to the Fortress. Yellow, Green, Black, run!
They run down the road.
Merlon: Mario, those were the conniving Koopa Bros. You must stop them, so go!
Mario: Right. Come on, gang, lets’-a go!
Mario and Co. head down Pleasant Path…
Can Mario stop the Koopa Bros? What are they and Iggy up to? Why does Bowser stink at Brawl? Was it really necessary to go into RPG-like battles? Can Merlon get out of his lawsuit? Find out in the next thrilling chapter of The Dark Prognosticus!