The Dark Prognosticus, Chapter 1: Paper Mario, The TRUE Story

By Dimentio

Chapter 21: Trials in the Toy Box 1

Mario and Co are inside Shy Guyís Toy Box.

Mario: Hmm. I wonder where those koopnapping Shy Guyís ran off to?

Bow: Something tells me we should explore this place.

Luigi: Lady, Iím the guy who gives the suggestions.

Bow starts slapping Luigi. Mario goes over to break it up. Then...

Mario: Oh great, our nuisance ran off somewhere.

Luigi: Whereíd you think he ran of too? There are two roads.

Mario: Well letís check out the left side.

They go to the left side and see Anti Guy.

Anti Guy: Woah buddy, canít let you go past here. This playground is for Shy Guys only.

Mario: Huh. Look at this little shrimp tell me what to do. Move aside.

Mario tries to push him but Anti Guy grabs his arm.

Anti Guy: Big mistake, plumber.

Anti Guy leaps up and-

The Dark Prognosticus will block the fallowing scenes for anybody who doesnít like to hear swears, the sounds of bones breaking, and other gross things.

Marioís corpse goes flying out of the Toy Box.

Anti Guy: I love workouts. Whoís next?

Luigi already started running as fast as he can. He jumps on the spring and gets his horribly beaten up brother.

A few hours of healing later...

Mario: Okay, that stupid fungus can stay behind. We have a Star Spirit to save.

Bow: Donít forget that Koopa.

Mario: Who?

They go to the right side and see a lot of boxes. They also see a bunch of Fly Guys.

Fly Guy: Ack! Itís those pesky plumbers! Quick, assemble spit wads!

Mario: Wh-

Mario gets hit by a spit wad. Then Fly Guy put more spit wads on their slingshots and fire. Luigi avoids them all by Super Jumping. He takes out the Fly Guys one by one. Bow turns transparent and sees Mario buried under a pile of wet paper.

Bow: Eww...

After taking a shower, they ground pound on the boxes and they turn out to be jack-in-the-boxes. They head on and see a chest being guarded by a Dry Bones.

Dry Bones: Look, itís the Mario Bros!

The Dry Bones start throwing bones at them. Bow gets in front of them and swats the bones back at them. They break apart. The Mario Bros. grab the bones and put them in a nicely placed wood chipper. They go on and open the chest. They get the Storage Key!

Luigi: Why would the Shy Guys just leave the chest out in the open?

Mario: Shhh! You want this adventure to get harder?!

They leave the Toy Box and head to the west side shop. They enter and see the shopkeeper is still knocked out.

Mario: What happened here?

Luigi: Uh, the Shy Guy did this.

Mario unlocks the storage room.

Mario: Since we kindly got the key back for him, I think we deserve a little something.

Mario goes in and comes back out with stuffed pockets.

Bow: How much did you take?

Mario: Uh, look, I found a toy train!

Luigi: There is a train track in that Toy Box.

They leave just as the shopkeeper wakes up.

Shopkeeper: Ugh, what happened? Ö !

He sees his storage room is open. He goes inside...

Mario: Okay, weíll gently drop the train inside.

Mario lifts up the cover of the Toy Box when...

Shopkeeper (from distance): IíVE BEEN ROBBED!!!

Mario gets startled and accidentally drops the train inside.

Mario: Oops. Well, whatís the worst that could happen?

They jump back inside. There they see the train station has been destroyed by the train. The train is also upside down.

Engineer: My poor train station!

Mario: Uh, gee, wonder what happened to it?

Engineer: Our train just fell out of the sky right into the train station.

Luigi: Well thatís a pity.

Anti Guy comes into the scene.

Anti Guy: Oh great! Well, let Mr. Muscle handle this.

Anti Guy goes up to the train and tries to flip it.

Mario: Nowís our chance!

They go back to the left side. There they see a bunch of Groove Guys.

Groove Guy: Hey, you arenít allowed here!

Mario: What are you going to do about it?

The Groove Guys starts dancing. Mario and Co just walk past them. They make it to the playground and see Toad playing a Nintendo 64.

Toad: Hey, how come Iím not playable in Paper Mario?! Why doesnít Nintendo care about me like they used too?

Mario: Come on, Toad, time to go.

They grab Toad but Mario stops at the sight of something.

Mario: That Shy Guy has Rowfís calculator.

Mario tries to jump him but in the end the Shy Guy has him pinned down.

Mario: Beaten by a Shy Guy. I may never show my face again!

Shy Guy: Teehee! Wow, for a famous plumber I sure got you!

Luigi tries to Super Jump on the Shy Guy but he gets out of the way. Instead Luigi lands on Mario.

Shy Guy: Shy Guy power! Ack! Wah!

They Shy Guy runs away, leaving Rowfís calculator.

Bow: Youíre welcome.

Mario: This is embarrassing.

They grab the calculator and leave. When they get back to the train station they see Anti Guy is carrying the train!

Luigi: Wow, that little fella sure is tough.

Anti Guy: Now to destroy this.

Mario: Uh oh! Think fast!

Mario throws his hammer at Anti Guy. He gets hit and the train falls on him.

Anti Guy: Ow...

The Mario Bros. push the train onto the tracks.

Mario: *gasp* For a toy train itís pretty heavy.

Engineer: All aboard! Next stop, Pink Station!

The hop in just as Anti Guy gets back up.

Anti Guy: Oh my aching- What?!

He sees the train leave.

Anti Guy: Darn it!

He gets out a walkie talkie.

Anti Guy: Boss, the plumbers got the train and are heading to Pink Station. All right then, over.

Mario: Whatís up with these stations?

Engineer: Do I look like a Shy Guy? Pink Station ahead! Please be ready to depart.

Mario and Co get off the train. They look and again see two roads.

Mario: Hmm, which way again?

Luigi: I think we should go east.

Toad: I say west!

Bow: I say you should both shut up!

Mario: Well when in doubt, let Abe Lincoln find out.

Mario takes out a penny and flips it. It lands on heads.

Mario: East it is.

They head on east. They see a couple of Shy Guys practicing their acrobatics. One of them spots the crew.

Shy Guy: *gasp!* Itís the Mario Bros. Quick, Shy Guys, formation!

Shy Guys: Right! AAAAHHHH!

They all run away.

Mario: Wasnít that supposed to happen later?

Luigi: Does it look like we care?

Shy Guy: Donít retreat now!

They keep walking and see a bunch of block houses. At the end they see a wall with a flip panel. A Shy Guy gets pushed out.

Shy Guy: No! Iím too young!

The Shy Guy hops the fence near the wall and runs away. Mario and Co get near the wall and flip when another Shy Guy gets pushed out.

Shy Guy: Bigger gasp! They made it through the wall! Now run!


Mario: Well, wonít this chapter be easy?

They continue walking and eventually see two Hammer Bros.

Hammer Bro: Eat hammer, Mario!

They start throwing hammers but the Mario Bros. just swat them away. The Hammer Bros. just catch them.

Hammer Bro: Ha! Do you really think you can defeat us with our own weapons?

Mario uses Power Jump. POW! Luigi uses Super Jump and finishes one of.

Hammer Bro: No! Steven! Why?!

Mario decides to end his misery and uses Power Smash. POW!! The Mario Bros. beat the Hammer Bros. Toad opens up the chest and finds Tayce Tís frying pan.

Mario: Thank DAD we found it!

Mario grabs it and heads towards the station.

Mario: I canít believe we have to leave again!

They go from Pink to Blue Station, then leave the Toy Box. First Mario decides to return the frying pan. Mario and Co enter an empty Club 64.

Mario: Tayce T, I got your frying pan back.

Tayce T: About time!

Mario: Youíre supposed to be nice! Not mean like Zess T.

Tayce T: Youíre not supposed to know her yet! Uh, anyway, let me make something for you for bringing back my frying pan.

She cooks him a Cake.

Mario: Whatís so special about it?

Tayce T: I used to make it for my cat Whiskers before he passed away.

Luigi: What did he die of?

Tayce T: Diabetes.

Toad: Youíre stupid.

Mario and Co are seen running away from a butcher-knife-holding Tayce T. They jump back into the Toy Box.

Mario: Take us to Pink Station!

Engineer: Sheesh! A little on edge, arenít we?

They ride the train to Pink Station. They get of the train and consider what to do next.

Mario: Canít you take us to the next station?

Engineer: ĎFraid not. The road is wrecked. Unless you can get to that there switch, we canít fix it.

Mario: Easy!

Mario aims at the switch and throws his hammer at it. It hits the switch and the tracks get fixed.

Engineer: Super!

A Shy Guy comes in and pulls the switch back. He also puts a force field around the switch. The tracks go back to being wrecked.

Engineer: Lame.

Mario: Rats. Come on. Now we have to pull that switch manually.

They go to the west side of the station. They see some Spy Guys. One  holds out a Super Scope.

Spy Guy: Freeze, suckers. Put your hands up! Nice and easy. Oh yeah.

Mario: Oh dear.

Spy Guy: Any last words?

Mario: Uh, Iíd rather have a request.

The Spy Guy starts charging up the Super Scope. He fires the huge shot and sees nothing.

Spy Guy: Sweet! Now Iím sure to get that promotion!

Then the crew reappears before him. Bow used Outta Sight!

Spy Guy: Crud. That was a one shot thing, too. Stupid cheap gun! AHHHHH!

He runs away.

Mario: Whew! That was a close one. You sure are useful, Bow.

Bow: Thank y- WHAT IS THAT?!

They look and see she is pointing to a huge, fat Shy Guy blocking their path.

Mario: Wow.

Toad: Take a picture with me and it!

Luigi: Toad!

Gourmet Guy: Hello there! Iím Gourmet Guy. Although I donít know why everyone calls me that. Iím just your average food-loving Shy Guy.

Luigi: Letís not go nuts! Youíre a far way from average.

Gourmet Guy: Iím hungry. You got any food?

Mario: Well we do have this Cake that could possibly give you diabetes.

Gourmet Guy: Cake!

Gourmet Guy starts to suck it out of Marioís hands.


Gourmet Guy faints from the flavor. They jump over him and continue on. Mario uses his wrench to go through the force field. He pulls the switch and the tracks get fixed. They head back to the station.

Engineer: All aboard for Green Station!

Mario and Co get on and head towards the next station.

Chapter 22: Trials in the Toy Box 2

Mario and Co have arrived in Green Station. They see multicolored boxes at the station.

Mario: Hmm, I wonder what these do?

Luigi: Eh, who knows? Probably just some toys for the Shy Guys.

They only see one path and go in. They see a bunch of moving platforms and a Shy Guy reading the dictionary.

Shy Guy: This thing is useless! I canít find that curse word I want to spell!

Mario jumps on the unsuspecting Shyster and he runs away. Mario picks up the dictionary he dropped.

Luigi: Hey, thatís Russ Tís dictionary. Huh, looks like he left a little note.

Note: ??????????????????????????????????????????????

Toad: What is that writing?

Bow: It seems to be Shyish.

Mario: Weíll take this to Russ T. soon. Weíd better head on.

They climb up some fences that are blocking them only to find barbwire at the top.

Bow: You know we couldíve just used my power.

Mario: @&%$!

After putting some bandages on their hands Bow uses Outta Sight. They go through the fences and find a huge Slot Machine.

Toad: May luck be with me!

Toad pulls on the slot and it starts to spin. Three skulls appear.

Mario: Toad, you-


After the smoke clears...

Bow: *cough* Everybody okay?

Mario: Mamamia...

Luigi: Ohhhh...

Toad: Did I win?

Toad falls onto the floor. The others decide to just leave there for a bit. They see some moving blocks. The Mario Bros .easily high jump and long jump when they have to. At the end they see some pasta next to a treasure chest.

Mario: PASTA!

Luigi: No, wait Mar-

Mario runs to the pasta and devours it in one bite. Mario starts to shake and...


Mario implodes.

Bow: 0.o  What just happened to him?!

Luigi: Whenever he eats healthy stuff he normally gets a rash. However since itís healthy pasta thatís flavorless he, uh, kind of blows up.

Toad gets up to the platform they are on.

Toad: Whatíd I miss?

He sees a crater near the chest.

Toad: Mario blew up again?

Luigi: Yeah, except he didnít scream this time.

Luigi picks up his brotherís ashes and puts them into a jar.

Luigi: We need to get some lasagna. Itís the only thing that will reform him.

Toad opens up the chest and finds the mailbag.

Toad: Sweet.

They go through the huge crater made by the slot machine and past the fences, get on the train, arrive at Pink Station, and find out that Toad left the mailbag on the train.

Toad: Oops.

Toad waits for the train to arrive back at Pink Station.

Toad: Why did you guys leave?

Engineer: We *hic* have a life *hic* too, you know.

Toad gets the mailbag and leaves the Toy Box. Toad gets to the post office and drops the mailbag.

Toad: Here, you happy?

Toad leaves while the mail Paratroopa checks out the mail.

MP: Some of these letters are already opened and some have writing on them!

Toad sees Mario and Co talking to Rowf.

Mario: Hereís your calculator.

Rowf: Thanks, chief.

Mario: Well?

Rowf: Well what?

Mario: Arenít you going to give me a reward?

Rowf: You knocked it out of my hands in the first place.

Mario hits him with his hammer and leaves. They go to Russ Tís place next.

Luigi: Yo Russ T, we got back your dictionary.

Russ T: Yes, I was starting to lose IQ points.

Mario: Hey, can you decipher this note for us?

Russ T. looks at the note.

Russ T: If Iím not mistakes, this says ďRemember to fool Mario Bros. into thinking this note is important.Ē

Mario: Those little-

Luigi: Letís go, Mario.

Toad: Howíd Mario get revived?

Luigi: Bow asked Tayce T. if she could bake some lasagna.

Toad: Wait, shouldnít it have takes a while for it to cook? Yet weíre in here in less than ten minutes.

Luigi: Look, if you donít like it, Toad, go complain on the Internet.

Toad grumbles and they leave Russ Tís house. They head back to Shy Guyís Toy Box. They head towards the train station when Toad stops them.

Toad: Iím not so sure we should ride the train.

Mario: Why?

Toad: The engineer is um... in happy time.

Mario: So heís a bit drunk, whatís the worst that could happen?

They get on the train, Toad putting on a protective suit.

Luigi: How is being covered in pillows and kneepads going to protect you?

Toad: Shut up.

The train heads towards Green Station. A few minutes later...

Mario: Weíre alive...

Luigi: My arm!

Toad: That was fun!

Bow: If I could throw up I would.

They crawl off the train tracks and arrive at Green Station.

Mario: Okay, we have no train and there is no road thatíll lead to the next station.

Luigi: What are we going to do, Mario?

Toad: Hmm. If we could just bring those tracks down we could continue.

Mario: Hmm...

Mario checks his badges and finds what he is looking for.

Mario: Quake Hammer badge!

Mario uses Quake Hammer! The place shakes and the tracks fall down.

Mario: Now we can get across!

They have no other choice and walk down the tracks to Red Station.


General Guy: You have got to be kidding me!

Wendy: What is it?

General Guy: Those pipe patching plumbers are getting near Red Station. We have to send him on them.

Wendy: That icky old ghost? Perfect. The Mario Bros. wonít take this cutie away from me.

Mario and Co have arrived at Red Station after only 2 hours.

Mario: *gasp* You know, *gasp, cough* this place looks smaller on the outside.

Luigi: Mario! Look, itís *gasp* Red Station.

Toad: I like this toy truck.

Mario: What the?! Toad, how long have you had that huge truck?

Toad: Uh...

Mario destroys the truck in anger.

Toad: Fun wrecker.

They arrive at Red Station and see two paths. One however is being blocked by a force field.

Mario: Hmm, well weíd better check out the other road.

They go left and see a bunch of elevator wheels. Mario instead wall jumps while Luigi Super Jumps. Toad takes the elevators and Bow just goes through the building blocks. They see a little toy house and decide to check it out. They see it is pitch dark inside.

Toad: Iím scared.

Luigi: My line! Uh, I mean I- Iím not sc-scared...

???: Hehehe! It seems I have some guests.

They see a small light. It approaches them.

???: Hehehe! If you want the force field disabled youíll have to get through me first!

Mario: Iím not sure if I should say bring it on or not.

???: Iíll drag you into the eternal darkness!

Luigi: Wah!

Mario 20/20
Luigi 18/18
Toad 17/17
Big Lantern Ghost 40/40

BLG bodyslams Mario. Mario hits a wall.

Mario: Ugh. How can we fight a guy we canít even see?

BLG uses Flash and stuns Luigi and Toad. BLG then jumps on Luigi. Toad shakes off his paralysis and throws his hammer in a random direction.

Mario: Ow! A hammer just hit me!

Toad: Oops.

Luigi gets up and tries to see where the light is. He then sees itís behind him.

Luigi: Uh oh. Wah!

Luigi gets squished again by BLG. Mario uses Quake Hammer. BLG gets stunned for a while. Toad sees his chance and tries to hit BLG. Instead he hits the lantern and it gets brighter. They see him and Luigi uses Ultra Jump.

BLG: Ahh! Too much light!

BLG blows on the lantern and the light fades away. Mario tries to keep his eye on the light but it suddenly disappears. They brace themselves. BLG uses Flash. They quickly cover their eyes with their hats. Mario then immediately uses Quake Hammer. BLG gets stunned again. Toad uses Mini-Stars and hits the lantern 3 times. It gets really bright and Luigi jumps on him. Mario also sees him and uses Power Jump. POW!

BLG: Argh! It burns!

He blows on the lantern and the light vanishes.

Mario: Watch out, you-

Mario gets squished by BLG. He then proceeds to hit Mario with his lantern. Luigi wants to help but can only hear his brotherís cries of pain.

Luigi: Oh Mario! Got to help! Ah-ha ha!

Luigi hits the ceiling hard. Some blocks near them lean and fall on BLG.

BLG: Hey, thatís not fair!

Toad uses Mini-Stars and aims at the lantern. It gets bright again. Mario gets up and uses Power Jump. POW!

BLG: Ahh! Too much! Got to blow it out!

Itís too late, as he is hit in the forehead by Toadís hammer.

BLG: Ahh!!! Ugh...

BLG faints.

Battle Over! Mario wins = 15 Star Points!

Mario sees the lantern start to shake.

???: Let me out! Thereís no bathroom in here!

Mario breaks the lantern.

Watt: Whew! Thanks, that place was really cramped.

Mario: I thought you said there was no bathroom in there.

Watt: My nameís Watt. Pleasure to meet... you... Mario Bros?!

Mario: The one and only.

Luigi: Hey!

Watt: Can I repay the favor and help you guys?

Mario: If youíre any better than that Koopa, than sure!

Watt joins the party!

Watt: Yay! Use my power to see in dark places.

Luigi: Wahoo! Oh, I mean cool.

Mario grabs Watt and the place light up. They see a generator that powers up the force field. Luigi and Toad completely destroy it.

Mario: Hmm. If my intuition is correct, the boss of this place should be close. Letís-a go!

Toad: About time you said that.

They leave the BLG and head back to the station. They see the force field is gone and enter the path. They see a huge wall made out of building blocks.

Shy Guy (on other side): Whew! We did it. We built this giant wall and now Mario will never get over it.

Mario takes out his hammer and hits the very bottom of the wall. It stars to wobble and then falls in the Shy Guysí direction.



Mario: Ouch.

They move on and see what looks like a toy arena. They go in and see nothing but darkness.

Mario: Good thing we have you, Watt!

They light up the place and see itís a dead end. The Shy Guys come back.

Shy Guys: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Itís Mario! Run for your life!

They go through the wall without even trying. Mario and Co follow...

Chapter 23: War! What Is it Good For?

Mario and Co have entered the Toy Arena.

General Guy: How dare you enter this place? This Toy Box is off limits to the likes of you. All this treasure-

Mario: Whatís up with the big speech?

General Guy: Itís a general thing. Now attack, my Shy Guys! Taste defeat!

Shy Guys: Oh man, we really have to fight him. Okay Shy Guys. No mercy! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Mario 20/20
Luigi 18/18
Shy Squad 20/20

Shy Squad: Prepare to be sissy-slapped! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mario: Why do they keep screaming?

Shy Squad: Itís our battle cry.

They surround Mario and start slapping him. Luigi acts fast and jump on them. Five Shy Guys fall down in defeat.

Mario: Ack! Thanks, Bro.


Toad: Stop screaming.

They start ganging up on Luigi. Now Mario helps out his bro and uses Power Smash. POW! 6 Shy Guys fall in defeat.

Shy Guys: We canít let their defeats be in vain! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

They start slapping Toad. Mario jumps on them. 4 more get defeated.


They run over Mario and Co.

General Guy: Ergh! You men make me sick! We must defend the Star Spirit for Wendy! Am I the only one with guts?

Shy Squad: Yes you are.

General Guy comes out with a toy tank.

General Guy: Deploy the next wave! Better yet, deploy the other waves too! Ah ha ha!

Two Stilt Guys and two Shy Stacks come out.

General Guy: Attack this rude man.

Shy Guys: Yes sir!

Mario: Weíd better eat something quick!

Mario and Luigi eat Super Mushrooms. Mario and Luigi + 10 HP! Toad eats a normal Mushroom. Toad + 5 HP! The Stilt Guys approach Mario but he uses Quake Hammer. They fall of their stilts and become normal Shy Guys.

Shy Guys: Oh dear. Uh, Infamous Bicycle Kick!

They start kicking Mario and Luigi. Meanwhile Toad is avoiding the rocks shot by the Shy Stacks. Toad headbutts one stack and it starts to lean.

Shy Stack: Steady! Ack!

They fall down. The other Shy Stack catches Toad off guard and shoots him.

Toad: Oof! Leech!

Toad attaches to the Shy Stack and starts sapping its health. The other Shy Guys try to get Toad off. Meanwhile Mario and Luigi have dealt with the other Shy Guys. They go over and assist Toad. They jump on the other Shy Guys and defeat them. Toad gets off the stack. Toad + 7 HP! Toad headbutts the Shy Stack and they fall in defeat.

General Guy: ... AARRGGHH!!! Thatís it! NO one embarrasses the somewhat brave army! No one!

Wendy: General Guy? Why are you- Eeeekkkkkk! The plumbers are here. Youíre not getting this card, Drain Brains!

Mario 6/20
Luigi 9/18
Toad 11/17
General Guy 50/50
General Guyís Tank 20/20
Wendy 50/50

General Guy: Letís see you defeat my hi-technical tank!

Francis: This battle is so schweet and hi-technicaaaaaaaaaal!

General Guy throws a bomb at Francis.

General Guy: Weird. Anyway, taste defeat!

General Guy gets inside his tank. Mario jumps on it and it does nothing.

GG: Ha! Take this. Lightning Bolt!

The light bulb on GGís tank shoots out a lightning bolt that hits all of them.

Mario: Wah! That was close!

Mario eats a Hot Shroom. Mario + 15 HP! Luigi and Toad got stunned! Wendy takes out her wand and fires out candy rings at them. Mario jumps out of the way but the rings start squeezing the life out of Luigi and Toad! General Guy sees his chance and hits the gas. He runs over Luigi and Toad!

Mario: Luigi! Nuisance! ... I mean Toad!

They fall down fainted. Bow and Watt come out.

Watt: Itís that general who captured me!

Mario: Speaking of capturing, what did you do with Carl?

GG: Who?

Bow: A Koopa.

GG: Well my Shy Guys thought it would be funny to torture him. Now, eat lightning bolt!

Bow quickly uses Outta Sight and hides Mario. Watt just stands still. Watt + 1 Attack!

GG: Hey, my attack was supposed to hurt you! Not make you stronger!

Watt uses Electro Dash on GGís Tank. He jumps out of it.

GG: Grr! My hi-tech defenses donít seem to stand up to that electricity. Stop that! It- itís too powerful! Youíre breaking the rules of war!

Wendy: In a nutshell, STOP CHEATING! Candy rings!

Wendy shoots out more candy rings. Mario dodges the rings and jumps on Wendy.

Wendy: EEKK! Donít touch me!

Bow sneaks behind Wendy and pokes her. Wendy turns around and starts getting slapped. Meanwhile Watt is taking care of GGís Tank.

GG: Err! Eat Bob-omb!

He throws a Bob-omb at Watt. She gets hurt but ignores the pain.

Watt: Take this, you meanie!

She does another Electro Dash.


Mario uses Power Jump on Wendy. POW!


She uses her wand and creates a huge tidal wave. Unfortunately the wave also heads towards GGís Tank.

GG: What the?!

Mario and Co get hit as well as the tank.

Mario 10/20
Bow 9/15
Watt 6/10
General Guy 50/50
Tank 8/20
Wendy 34/50

Mario gets up.

Mario: *cough* Wish I had a Frog Suit.

Wendy: Hi-yah!

Wendy kicks Mario then zaps him with her wand. Mario gets launched a few feet. GG sees his chance and steps on the gas. He goes full speed towards Mario. Bow quickly floats to Mario and uses Outta Sight. GG misses and heads towards a wall.

GG: @&-

Crash! He makes a hole in the wall.

GG: I shouldíve put air bags in this thing.

Zap! Watt again uses Electro Dash. GG puts it on reverse and makes his tank face Mario.

GG: Lightning Bolt!

The light bulb charges up and fires towards Mario and Co. Watt + 1 attack! Bow canít help Mario in time and they both got zapped. Mario reaches into his pocket and takes out another Hot Shroom. Mario + 15 HP + 3 FP! Just then they start getting constricted by candy rings. They let go and Bow faints.

Mario: This doesnít look good for the good guys. Luigi, time to wake up!

Mario gets out a Life Shroom and gives it to Luigi. Luigi + 10 HP!

Luigi: Oh... What the? Why am I wet?

Wendy: Eat tidal wave!

She makes another huge tidal wave appear.

Luigi: Ah-ha ha!

Luigi grabs his little big bro and jumps the wave. He lands right on Wendy.

Wendy: Iíll kill you, Luigi!

She tries to hit him with her wand but Luigi takes out his golden wrench and blocks it. Just then Mario hears Watt.

Watt: Ugh, help me!

GG is really angry and has started throwing countless Bob-omb at a cornered Watt. Mario whips out the hammer and uses Power Smash. POW! The lid of the tank falls on General Guy.

GG: Hey! Double teaming is not fair! This is war!

GG backs up Mario with his tank. Watt uses Electro Dash and GGís Tank backs away. Mario gets up.

Mario: Lousy Shyster.

Mario throws his hammer at the tank.


BOOM!!! General Guy gets blasted out of his tank.

General Guy: Ow. Hmm, it seems I have underestimated you, sir. Well, thatís why I was saving the big guns.

Mario: What are you talking about?

GG: Ho ho ho! Bring it in!

A couple Shy Guys bring in another tank that looks the same as before.

Mario and Co: ?

Wendy: Thatís the big secret weapon you wished for?!

General Guy: Patience.

He hops inside.

General Guy: Now! Activate Shytron!

The tank glows a blinding white. Mario and Co close their eyes to avoid being blinded. When they open their eyes they see what looks like a toy ripoff of Megatron.

GG: Letís see you defeat me now!

Mario: Ultra Crud!

Mario 10/20
Luigi 10/18
Watt 2/10
General Guy 30/50
Shytron 100/100
Wendy 26/50

Wendy: Too cool!

GG: Let it be on your tombstone, Mario, that you died at the hands of General Guy! HA!

Mario: Uh, Iím not afraid?

Shytron tries to smash Mario but he jumps out of the way.

GG: Give it up! You canít possibly win!

Luigi, meanwhile, is dealing with Wendy.

Luigi: Bring it, you spoiled brat.

Wendy: What?!

Wendy shoots out geometric shapes. Luigi jumps over them and jumps on her.

Wendy: How could you hurt a lady?!

Luigi: You, a lady? I though you were a witch.

Luigi gets blasted into a wall.

Luigi: Ouch...

Mario is constantly dodging attacks from Shytron.

Mario: Watt, do something!

Watt uses Electro Dash. It does nothing!

GG: Aha! Did I mention that all electric attacks are absorbed to charge up my super attack?

Mario: Just great.

GG: Now! Activate Zap Cannon!

One of the hands turns into a cannon. A light is seen from inside.

GG: Fire!

A huge beam of electricity is shot out of the cannon straight towards Mario. Mario waits and barely dodges it with a long jump. Mario can hear the air around him cackle with electricity.

GG: Crud!

Mario turns around and sees the beam is still going! It heads towards an unsuspecting Wendy.

Wendy: Any last words, Luigi?

Luigi: Ah-ha ha!

Luigi Super Jumps just as the beam zaps Wendy!


GG: Oh dear.

Wendy: Itís okay... Iím durable...

Luigi lands on her, making her faint.

GG: Hmph! No matter! I donít need that spoiled brat to finish you off!

Mario: Can you please give up?

GG: Never!

Shytron slams the ground with his fist. Mario dodges it. Mario then gets an idea.

Mario: You couldnít beat me even if I stood still!

GG: Wanna bet, Faucet Face?!

Shytron tries to crush him again but Mario backflips. He then jumps on the arms just as they go back up. Mario starts climbing up the arms.

GG: Uh oh! Fire Bullet Bills!

Bullet Bill cannons arise out of the arms and start shooting. Mario simply swats the Bills them away.

GG: Oh no! Heís getting closer! Send the shockwave!

The arm gets covered in electricity. Mario does a high-jump and barely avoids it. Mario uses Power Jump on the head. POW!

GG: AHH! Howíd he know that the head needed some work?! Err, spin activate!

Shytron spins around at fast speeds and knocks Mario off before he can do more damage.

GG: You must be cheating!

Mario 8/10
Luigi 2/18
Watt 2/10
General Guy 30/50
Shytron 75/100

The chest opens up and releases a bunch of Bullet Bills. Mario and Luigi easily swat them back. The cannon starts to charge up power.

Mario: That Shy Guy wonít let me back up there. I have to get up there before he ends our games.

Luigi: I got it! We just have to wait for the right moment. Until then be close to me.

Shytron starts shooting out electrical spheres towards Mario and Co. Watt gets in the way.

Watt: Donít worry! The electricity canít hurt me.

Mario: Pastarific!

Shytron tries to swat Mario and Luigi away.

Luigi: Now! Ah-ha ha!

Luigi uses Super Jump just as the hand tries to hit them. Luigi makes a perfect landing at the arm.

Mario: Way to go, Bro!

Luigi: Mario!

Luigi gets in Marioís way as a Banzai Bill approaches them. BOOM! Luigi falls all the way down.

Mario: Luigi! Iíll avenge you!

Mario high-jumps over the Banzai Blaster that GG somehow managed to put in the arm. Mario runs up the arm as fast as he can and makes it to the head.

GG: This is not good!

Mario uses Power Smash! POW!! Mario knocks away something and it leaves an entrance. Mario enters and finds himself in the control room with General Guy.

GG: A true Shy Guy does not cower in fear! Well technically they do, but Iím a general! I shall fight you myself!

Mario: Bring it, little guy!

Mario throws his hammer at GG.

GG: Hey, that hurt! Eat this!

GG takes out a Super Scope! He starts shooting Mario but he starts running. GG stops firing soon.

GG: ARGH! I canít use weapons or Iíll damage Shytron! So take this!

He slams into Mario but he quickly recovers. Mario jumps on him. GG shakes it off and tries to do an acrobatic attack. Instead Mario swats him away.

GG: Youíre breaking the rules of war!

GG takes out a slingshot and readies a spit wad. Mario quickly ducks to avoid being hit. GG sees his chance and piledrives Mario.

Mario 2/20
Luigi 0/18
Watt 2/10
General Guy 18/30
Shytron 50/100

Mario takes out a Super Mushroom. Mario + 10 HP! GG slams into Mario again. Mario falls down. GG goes in for another piledriver but Mario rolls out of the way. Mario then uses Power Jump. POW! GG gets dizzy for a bit and Mario swats him away with his hammer.

GG: I canít take it! If the head blows then at least Iíll take you with me!

GG takes out a Bob-omb and throws it at Mario. Mario gets blasted. He falls down but quickly gets up just as GG goes for another slam. He hits the wall and Mario uses Power Smash. POW! GG slowly stands up.

GG: A good general dies for his country...

Mario jumps on him and he faints.

Battle Over! Mario wins = 38 Star Points! Mario and Co + 5 HP!

Mario: Now letís finish this lame excuse for a Transformers robot.

Mario uses Power Smash on the controls. He jumps out the window that serve as the eyes. Marioís landing isnít too graceful. He turns around but doesnít see it explode. Instead a timer appears.

Shytron: Self-destruct activated. 10 minutes Ďtil kablooie!

Mario: Better pick up my fallen comrades and sc- Oof!

Wendy: Not so fast! Youíll stay here while I escape with the Star Card.

Bow: Over my already dead body!

Wendy uses candy rings and Mario is tied up.

Bow: You scared without your Shy Guy bodyguard?

Wendy: Are you calling me weak?!

Bow: Prove me wrong!

Wendy tries to kick her but Bow simply floats up. Bow slaps her when she lands.


She screamed so hard that Bow gets blown away. Wendy sees her chance and fires out geometric shapes. Bow gets hit but shakes off the pain. Bow turns invincible.

Wendy: No fair! If you donít reappear Iíll throw a tantrum!

Bow: Fine!

Wendy turns around and gets slapped once more. Wendy immediately hits Bow with her wand.

Wendy: Tidal Wave!

Another huge tidal wave appears and heads towards Bow. Bow turns transparent and avoids all damage.

Wendy: Itís no fair fighting against someone who keeps cheating! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

She starts throwing a tantrum. Bow tries to go in for the win but Wendyís wails make Bow shutter.



Bow uses Spook by accident and Wendy gets scared. Bow sees her chance and starts slapping her as hard as she can.

Wendy: @@@@@@@&&&&&&&&&&%%%%%%%%%$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!

Wendy lets go of Muskular. Mario gets freed but...

Shytron: 1 minute Ďtil total destruction.

General Guy wakes up.

GG: Well this looks like the end for me.

Wendy: Not for me, though! Iím kooping-on out of here!

Wendy tries to leave but Shytron grabs her.


General Guy: If Iím going down youíll go down with me as well! Run, Mario Bros! RUN!

Muskular: Save yourself, Shyster!

GG: No. It does me good to die with honor.


GG: Temper.

3, 2, 1

Mario and Co canít watch! Ö.Nothing.

General Guy opens his eyes.

GG: Huh. Out of gas.

GG jumps out the broken window and joins Mario and Co. They start to leave when-

Wendy: WHAT?! It doesnít work that way!

Shytron: Bye-bye.

General Guy: Nice going, toots.


And so, after defeating General Guy and Wendy, Mario and Co have rescued the fourth Star Spirit. However, did they survive the explosion? Why was I too lazy to insert questions last time? Why did General Guy have a cheap ripoff of Megatron? What happened to WHN? Why did the Shy Guys decide to torture him? Why would anyone care? Again maybe only a few questions will be answered, but tune in anyway!

Read on!

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