Chapter 1-3: Koopa’s Wrath
Luigi, Daisy, and Vivian make it to Area 7, and Dry Bones falls off the top of the column, and his bones scatter. Luigi catches his skull.
Dry Bones: I’m done for… Wario’s at the top, go help him…
Luigi: Dry Bones!
Dry Bones: You remembered my name…
Luigi: Well you ARE named after your species… Oh well…
Daisy: Vivian, go to the bar nearby and take the little girl inside to safety, okay?
Vivian: Okay.
She leaves.
Luigi: To the top!
Luigi grabs Daisy’s hand and charges up a Super Jump that takes him to the top.
Luigi: Wow… That’s probably the only time I’ll have enough energy for that.
Daisy: Ouch.
Wario: Luigi! You’re alive! And you totally skipped hearing Greaper and Boo’s dying words!
Luigi: They’re minor, MINOR characters in the whole grand scheme of the story, so who cares?
Wario: True…
A helicopter flies by and it drops Boshi, who then messes with the controls that have the power over the column.
Luigi: Yoshi, stop!
Boshi: I’m Boshi!
Luigi: I was referring to you as one in a group called “The Yoshis”. Of course I know that’s not your name.
Boshi: Okay then, so if you do that from now on I’ll understand then. Anyway I just have to press this one button and I’m done!
He does.
Boshi: There!
Wario: How could
you have done that?! I mean, all we did was just stand here and watch!
It should’ve been impossible for you to
press the button!
Daisy: Wario,
you make me feel so smart sometimes. But then I remember that I did the
same thing you did and I feel as dumb as
you.
Wario: I’ll take that as a compliment.
Daisy: …
Boshi: Guys, you
can continue this conversation in your last minutes, because this column
is going down and it’s taking everyone
in Area 7 with
it! But now you’ll pay for messing with us before!
BOSS!
Luigi: 220/220
Wario: 250/250
Daisy: 200/200
Vs.
Boshi: 300/300
Luigi has charged
his Final Smash!
Luigi uses Cross-Hammer!
Luigi smashes Boshi many times! 20 damage!
Wario uses Bad
Breath! 14 damage! Boshi is poisoned!
Daisy uses PAUNCH!
10 damage! Boshi’s on fire! Boshi’s no longer poisoned, thus.
Boshi: Try to
break this!
Boshi drops a
giant egg on Wario! He’s trapped!
Boshi takes 4
damage due to fire!
Luigi: 220/220
Wario: 250/250
(Egg’d)
Daisy: 200/200
Vs.
Boshi: 256/300
(Burning)
Luigi uses Hammer!
7 damage!
Wario is trapped
in an egg!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick on the egg! It breaks!
Boshi uses Electro-Tongue
on Luigi! 14 damage! Luigi has resistance to Electricity! Damage cut in
half!
Boshi takes 4
damage due to fire!
Luigi: 213/220
Wario: 250/250
Daisy: 200/200
Vs.
Boshi: 245/300
(Burning)
Luigi uses Hammer!
7 damage!
Wario charges
his Final Smash!
Daisy charges
her Final Smash!
Boshi drops an
egg on Luigi! He’s trapped!
Boshi takes 4
damage due to fire! Boshi’s no longer on fire!
Luigi: 213/220
(Egg’d)
Wario: 250/250
(Charging)
Daisy: 200/200
(Charging)
Vs.
Boshi: 238/300
Luigi’s trapped
in an egg!
Wario uses Pile-Driver!
40 damage!
Daisy uses Beatdown!
43 damage!
Boshi uses Electro-Tongue
on Wario! 14 damage!
Luigi: 213/220
(Egg’d)
Wario: 236/250
Daisy: 200/200
Vs.
Boshi: 155/300
Luigi’s trapped
in an egg!
Wario uses Ram
on the egg! It breaks!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick! 10 damage!
Boshi uses Ground
Pound on Luigi! 9 damage!
Luigi: 204/220
Wario: 236/250
Daisy: 200/200
Vs.
Boshi: 145/300
Luigi uses Hammer!
7 damage!
Wario uses Ram!
11 damage!
Daisy uses Hook
Punch! 9 damage!
Boshi: Ow… Doesn’t
matter… It’s time now…
Boshi flees!
Luigi, Wario,
and Daisy won!
Luigi learned
Fire Jump Punch!
Wario gained
88 exp.!
Daisy gained
a level!
Daisy: Okay… Anyway, I’ll try to disarm it.
Daisy fails.
Daisy: Aww…
Luigi: That can’t
be your average bomb… Wait, are there even average bombs? Aren’t they all
essentially the same? Other than the
super-mega-doomsday
variety, I mean.
The helicopter hovers over near the platform. Croco is inside with Vivian hostage.
Croco: Of course not! It’s a special bomb! It’ll blow up only minutes after someone touches it.
Luigi: Daisy, what’d you do?!
Daisy: Excuse me?! I saw you pulling out your hammer, you were gonna smash the bomb and maybe cause it to blow up sooner!
Luigi: … You win this one. Wait, why are you with the Yoshis?! You’re a crocodile!
Croco: Creative license… We were short on actual Yoshis…
Luigi: …
Vivian: Luigi! Daisy!
Daisy: Vivian!
Luigi: Viv, what happened?!
Vivian: He kidnapped me! And never call me “Viv”!
Croco: Oh, so we all know each other now?
Wario: I don’t know her.
Croco: Tough squash. I’m running off with the last… person… thing… of significance.
Luigi: The last Person Thing of Significance?! Elaborate!
Croco: The People Things of Significance, their plural name, were old… and significant…
Daisy: You weren’t making that name up?
Croco: Anyway I’m going to President Bowser now. Enjoy the Underwhere!
Croco’s helicopter flies off.
Vivian’s voice: She’s safe!
Luigi: Eh?
The column explodes!
Luigi: HOLY MOLY!
Wario: Idea!
Wario grabs the other two under his right arm and grabs a wire with his other hand and swings away.
All Three: Whee!
Luigi: Go faster!
Wario: Don’t make me drop you!
Daisy: You already did drop him.
Wario: Oh. Whoops.
Luigi is running
along beneath the two, screaming like a girl. They all three make it out
of Area 7 just in time and make it to the
playground.
Luigi: That was TOO close.
Daisy: I’m surprised we actually made it through the gate and that it was open already.
Wario: … Wait a second… AW CRUD! WALAINE!
Wario runs to Area 7 but bumps into a wall.
Wario: Ow… Walaine… Musty Fears… Mr. Woodward… Well at least I get to keep the Musty Fears’ money. And Luigi’s.
Luigi: I’m still ali-
Wario: I know.
Luigi: And who is Mr. Woodward?
Daisy: His dog.
Luigi: … He had a dog?
Daisy: Wario, I think your ugly little girl is safe.
Wario: Huh?
Daisy: Vivian said “she” was safe.
Wario: Oh. Okay then.
Luigi: Well I’d count this as a victory.
Daisy: And how would that be?!
Luigi: They destroyed
a whole chunk of Koopa City just to kill us, and they only got half! And
the half that was just minor
characters at
that! We’re good!
Daisy: Never mind all the deaths…
Luigi: … Well
if you want to put a negative spin on it, then sure! But I’m a team half-alive
kind of person, not a team half-dead
person. I’m going
to speak to Beldam about the People Things of Significance.
Wario: I’m coming too! Walaine is there! Daisy said so!
Daisy: I did not, but it seems reasonable.
FLASH!
Voice: I’m a Person Thing of Significance! I get Plit!
FLASH!
Luigi: Di…ment…io…
Luigi falls over.
Wario: Are you okay?
Luigi: Yeah, I guess I’m tired or something.
Daisy: It’s an RPG, Luigi. There’s no way you’re “just tired”. Oh well.
There…
Beldam: “Luigi”, huh? Where’s Vivian? She’s late for punishment!
Luigi: The Koopatrols have her.
Beldam: Oh… Well that’s punishment enough, I guess. But I still don’t like her.
Luigi: Whatever. This Yoshi called her a Person Thing of Significance. What’s that all about?
Beldam: She’s the last one. We’re not REALLY related.
Luigi: Yes you are-
Beldam: Silence, nonbeliever! My real sibling-
Luigi: What about Marilyn-
Beldam: Shut up!
The real sibling went to Radint to fight in the war but never returned,
so one day I found Marilyn. Then years later
I found Vivian
with her dying mom and we’ve been living together like a family.
Luigi: That’s not weird…
Beldam: Over time
she said stuff like “I escaped from a research lab”, “My mom’s part of
the world now”, “Please stop poking the
Goomba with the
tie”, stuff like that. She could also sense deaths or something I guess,
because she told me that my sibling in
Radint died.
Luigi: I see…
Beldam: Then one day the Yoshis came.
FLASHBACK!
Croco: Give us Vivian.
Beldam: No.
Croco: Aww… Please?
Beldam: No.
Croco: Why not?
Beldam: We need a chore monkey.
Croco: I’ll be your best friend.
Beldam: Ew!
Croco: I am offended by that! Come on, we need her to lead everyone to happiness.
Beldam: Well when you put it that way-
Vivian: No!
Beldam: Hmm… I DO need chores done… No.
Croco: Aw come on!
END FLASHBACK!
Beldam: … I don’t
know why they waited so long to actually use force. I mean, they’ve known
she lived here for years… We’ve also
got this little
girl here now. She has crazy eyes-
Wario: Walaine! That’s my daughter!
Beldam: I see. Until you’re done with your quest, she’ll be our chore monkey!
Wario: Seems fair enough.
Walaine’s voice: Papa! Help! They’re making me lift heavy things even though I have a bad back!
Wario: Have fun with the babysitter, Walaine! (to Luigi) Okay, let’s go kill Koopa.
Luigi: Okay. Daisy, we’re going to their lair, so be ready for anything.
Daisy: Okay…
They all head to Wal-Mart.
Wario: What are we doing here?
Luigi: First,
I needed some socks. Second, I think there might be a way to the upper
half of Koopa City and Koopa Tower from
here.
They notice that
some wreckage crashed through some of the roof when Area 7 got crushed.
Of course there already were some
holes in the
roof. Not like it makea a difference because all these areas are beneath
ceilings, which would explain why it’s called
the “lower half”.
Wario: Is that a MANSION?!
Luigi: Yeah…
Next to the mansion they notice a ladder.
Luigi: Oh, how convenient! Why wasn’t that there before? Oh well…
And they climb
until they reach the upper half of Koopa City.
Chapter 1-4: Tower of Koopa
Luigi, Wario,
and Daisy climb out of a hole in the floor on a ladder. They look ahead
to see Koopa Tower, complete with
searchlights
pointing upward and a helicopter flying around the top.
Luigi: … That’s probably it.
They get closer.
Wario: So you should know your way around here right?
Luigi: No, I’ve never been here before, oddly enough.
Wario: Why DID you work for Koopa anyway?
Luigi: He said I’d get a fanbase if I did.
Wario: I heard every floor past the 60th is hard to get into.
Luigi: Hard, easy, same difference.
Wario: …
They burst through the front door.
Receptionist: Woah!
Koopatrols: GET THEM!
Wario burps and
that dazes them. Daisy grabs one and throws him at Luigi, who hits him
with his hammer, knocking him into the
other Koopatrols.
Luigi: Hurry! To the elevators!
They all get in.
The elevator keeps stopping randomly so minions can invade the elevator
and take on the intruders, but Luigi’s
party wins each
time.
Wario: I could get used to all the action!
It finally reaches the 60th floor. They start going about and doing odd puzzles.
Wario: Aww… Goodbye action…
Daisy: Anyone
find it odd that there are people with a vendetta against Koopa in their
very own HQ but they don’t seem to notice,
especially after
our big entrance in the lobby?
Luigi: Maybe they
realize they don’t stand a chance in a fight. Plus the upper floors are
where all the executives are, and we know
none of them
can fight. Only minions can fight. It’s a standard RPG rule.
Eventually they
get to the 66th floor and climb into a vent. They look into a hole to find
a meeting room. At the table is Bowser, Lord
Crump, General
Guy, and across from the second two are Nastasia and Kamek.
Luigi: Okay guys, let’s eavesdrop.
Wario: No duh.
Luigi: …
Kamek: Okay, I’ve
figured out the damage estimates for what’s happened to Area 7 and the
Garlic Plants. We need to pay ten
billion coins.
Bowser: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Nastasia: Um, k, I know you’ve bribed us to work for you but you shouldn’t yell at us or we’ll leave, k?
Bowser: SILENCE!
General Guy: Not to mention your blood pressure!
Kamek: Now the way I see it we can rebuild Area 7 for about-
Bowser: No, forget that place!
Kamek: Zuh?
Bowser: I think we should just start Koopa City 2.0 instead!
Kamek: But then the People Things of Significance-
Bowser: We should
soon be able to get to the Golden Place. And I don’t mean that cruddy amusement
park structure in the desert!
Raise the Garlic
usage by 15 percent everywhere!
Wario’s voice: DANG IT!
Bowser: Gesundheit.
The other four all look at each other in confusion.
Bowser: Blue girl, Kamek, both of you will divide the income!
Crump: D’oh!
Fawful walks in.
Bowser: Fawful! My favorite bribed employee!
General Guy: Aw come on, we’re all right here, you know!
Luigi’s voice: (whispering) How many people did he bribe to work for him, anyway?!
Fawful: The medication and speech classes have been working… The girl is 18 percent different from her mother.
Bowser: … Ooookay?
Fawful: It’ll take longer than all our lifetimes to finish the research.
Bowser: Well that’s not good. Oh well, meeting adjourned.
They all leave.
Luigi: So THAT’S Fawful… I’ve heard of him in the company before…
They all climb
out and follow Fawful since it seems as if he was talking about Vivian.
They follow him into a lab. Fawful and a
Koopatrol are
looking at some kind of green and red thing in a vile. Luigi can’t really
get a good look at it. They hide behind boxes
near a dome.
Fawful: Okay experiment, your elevile will move up now.
Experiment: …
Fawful and the Koopatrol leave, and the party come out of hiding. Daisy gets a closer look.
Daisy: Looks like some kind of Piranha Plant monster thing.
Luigi looks behind him at the dome.
Luigi: “Queen”?
Luigi looks inside; it’s some kind of headless purple monster!
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
FLASH!
Luigi: Woah…
Wario: Stop doing that!
Luigi starts having some kind of seizure while fainting at the same time or something like that.
Luigi: Her… The Queen… Dimentio’s… They actually brought her here!
Daisy: The queen of what? Dimentio’s what?
Wario looks into the dome.
Wario: Woah! … That was weird. Let’s keep going.
They go to the upper lab. Vivian is in the vile!
Luigi: Yo, Fawful. We’re going to take Vivian back now.
Fawful: … Bring in the other one.
A platform rises into the vile with the experiment from below inside.
Fawful: Now uh… I don’t know… I didn’t think I’d get this far… What do they do again?
Koopatrol: No clue.
Fawful: You’re fired.
Vivian: … Luigi!
Luigi: Don’t worry, Vivian, we’re not leaving without you! … Guys, any clue on how we actually save her?
Wario: No.
Daisy: I didn’t think we’d get this far.
Fawful: Oh wait, is that my wallet?!
Fawful opens the door and the experiment uncurls to show that it is indeed a plant monster. It tackles Fawful.
Fawful: OW!
Vivian: Luigi! Daisy! Other guy I didn’t really get to know!
Luigi: Vivian- Oh crud, the elevator!
Luigi and Vivian look to see the elevator is moving.
Plant: It’s another experiment! Hey guys, I’m gonna help out because I’m bored. And to spite Fawful.
Wario: ANOTHER?
Daisy: You can talk?
Plant: Well duh.
Luigi: Wario, take Vivian to safety. Daisy, the plant thing-
Plant: Petey.
Luigi: -and I will beat up the new monster.
Some kind of needle-covered robot mutant with three pod-like spider-birds appears.
BOSS!
Luigi: 270/270
Daisy: 240/240
Petey: 245/245
Vs.
Experiment 19393:
400/400
Experimental
Mutant Pod A: N/A
Experimental
Mutant Pod B: N/A
Experimental
Mutant Pod C: N/A
Luigi uses Hammer
on Mutant Pod A! It’s knocked into 19393! 20 damage!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick on Mutant Pod B! It’s knocked into 19393! 17 damage!
Petey uses Sludge
Ball on 19393! 40 damage!
All Pods are
defeated!
19393 uses Needle
Storm! 24 damage each!
Luigi: 246/270
Daisy: 216/240
Petey: 221/245
Vs.
Experiment 19393:
323/400
Experimental
Mutant Pod A: 0
Experimental
Mutant Pod B: 0
Experimental
Mutant Pod C: 0
19393 regenerates
the Pods!
Luigi charges
his Final Smash!
Daisy uses Headbutt
on Mutant Pod C! It’s knocked into 19393! 20 damage!
Petey charges
his Final Smash!
19393 uses Influence!
19393 points to Petey!
Pods use Triple
Tackle on Petey! 30 damage!
19393 uses Needle
Storm! 24 damage each!
Luigi: 222/270
(Charging)
Daisy: 192/240
Petey: 167/245
(Charging)
Vs.
Experiment 19393:
303/400
Experimental
Mutant Pod A: N/A
Experimental
Mutant Pod B: N/A
Experimental
Mutant Pod C: N/A
Luigi unleashes
his Final Smash! Luigi uses Crosshammer! Luigi smashes Pod A into 19393
many times! 60 damage!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick on Pod B! It’s knocked into 19393! 17 damage!
Petey unleashes
his Final Smash! Petey uses Cage Bash! Petey beats 19393 over the head
with cages many times! 90 damage!
19393 uses Influence!
19393 points to Daisy!
Pods use Triple
Tackle on Daisy! 30 damage!
19393 uses Laser
Beam on Luigi! 14 damage!
Luigi: 208/270
Daisy: 162/240
Petey: 167/245
Vs.
Experiment 19393:
136/400
Experimental
Mutant Pod A: N/A
Experimental
Mutant Pod B: N/A
Experimental
Mutant Pod C: N/A
Luigi uses Thunderhand
on Pod C! It’s knocked into 19393! 12 damage!
Daisy uses PAUNCH
on Pod A! It’s knocked into 19393! 30 damage!
Petey uses Sludge
Ball on 19393! 40 damage!
All Pods are
defeated!
19393 is getting
weaker! Double damage both ways!
19393 uses Bad
Breath! 20 damage! Daisy is poisoned!
Daisy takes 20
damage due to poison!
Luigi: 208/270
Daisy: 122/240
(Poisoned)
Petey: 167/245
Vs.
Experiment 19393:
54/400
Experimental
Mutant Pod A: 0
Experimental
Mutant Pod B: 0
Experimental
Mutant Pod C: 0
Luigi uses Hammer
on 19393! 40 damage!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick on 19393! 34 damage!
19393 deforms!
Luigi, Daisy,
and Petey won!
Luigi learned
his next Final Smash!
Daisy gained
56 exp!
Petey gained
a level!
Battle over!
Luigi: That went on a little long.
Wario: We’re back!
Petey: Okay guys, I know the way out of here, so follow me.
Wario: But we were gonna kill Koopa…
Luigi: No, Wario. Saving Vivian was the reason we came.
Wario: Aww…
Vivian: Aww, that was sweet of you.
Luigi: Okay… Let’s split up for no real reason!
It ends up with Luigi, Vivian, and Petey. Luigi’s group ends up in an elevator soon. Someone walks in behind them.
Dr. Topper: Press “up”, please?
Luigi: No prob, Bob.
Petey: Luigi, that’s-
Luigi: Someone who asked a question politely so they’ll get what they want.
Petey: … We’re gonna die, aren’t we? … Luigi, he’s a Yoshi!
Luigi: Oh… Crud.
Croco walks in.
Croco: Come on, chump.
All four party members (sans Vivian) are led by Croco and Dr. Topper into Bowser’s throne room.
Luigi: What now? You’re gonna gloat?
Bowser: Maybe…
Don’t worry, the Siren is safe. BWAHAHAHA! After all, she is the last remaining
Person Thing of Significance!
And she’ll lead
us to the Golden Place!
Petey: Woah, really? Wait, wasn’t that place a rumor?
Bowser: Shut up! Anyway, that’s where we’ll abuse the Garlic within the land and build Koopa City 2.0!
Dr. Topper: Now all of you, go to your cells!
All but Wario leave.
Wario: Now hold on-
Dr. Topper drags
Wario away. Topper’s stronger than he looks. The party is imprisoned. In
Prison Cabin 1 is Vivian. In Cabin 2 are
Luigi and Daisy.
In Cabin 3 are Wario and Petey. Not a lot of room in that one.
Luigi: (Hmm… I wonder what Petey’s thinking.)
Petey: (I wonder how my grandpa’s doing… That reminds me… Did I go to Wendy’s twice yesterday?)
Wario: You stole a joke!
Petey: How were you reading my thought?!
Wario: I don’t know.
Luigi: (That was weird… I wonder what Vivian’s thinking.)
Vivian’s voice: Luigi?
Luigi: Huh? Vivian? You’re here?
Vivian’s voice: Yeah.
Wario’s voice: Woah, Vivian!
Luigi: Wario, you can hear through two walls?
Wario: What? I can’t hear you!
Luigi: That doesn’t even make sense!
Wario: I heard that!
Luigi: …
Daisy: Does the Golden Land exist?
Vivian’s voice: I don’t know. Didn’t they say “Golden Place”?
Daisy: Golden Land sounds more professional.
Vivian’s voice:
… You’re right. The People Things of Significance are real close to Plit.
Kind of like Captain Planet. We’ll all return to
the Golden Land
to be happy or something.
Daisy: Does Plit ever talk to you?
Vivian’s voice:
People are too noisy, so no. Beldam kept telling me that Koopa City’s too
dangerous, so I’m going to leave and find
the Golden Land.
But she could’ve just been trying to get rid of me like usual. Oh well.
Luigi: You know what? Let’s all go to bed; we’re tired.
Everyone Else’s voice and Daisy: Awww…
Later that night, Luigi wakes up.
Luigi: Water! I’m thirsty… Woah! The door’s open! Cool!
Luigi looks outside. The Koopatrol guard is dead.
Luigi: Woah… Was there some kind of crazy party or what? Daisy! Wake up!
Daisy: Huh?
Luigi: Our door’s open and the guard died!
Daisy: Woah!
Daisy goes outside.
Daisy: Yep… His game’s over… Here’re his keys! I’ll free Vivian, you get the others.
It is done. The guys are in the hall now.
Petey: Hmm… I don’t think any normal person here could do that… I’ll go look around.
Wario: And I’ll stay behind and look after things.
Luigi: Okay… Hey girls! Come with me!
They look around. The place is a mess! They look around and find a problem with the “Queen” dome. There’s a hole in the door…
Petey: It looks like she broke out and rode the elevile to the higher level.
Luigi: I wonder what Bowser thinks.
Petey: Let’s go check!
They all head up and follow a trail of vim to Bowser’s room… He’s dead.
Luigi: Woah! … I guess our work here is done.
Wario: What just happened?!
Luigi: Wait… There’s soot all over him… He was in an Explosion Box!
Wario/Daisy/Vivian/Petey: !
Luigi: The only person I know who could do that… is Dimentio!
Daisy: I thought his game was over!
Lord Crump runs out from behind a pillar and tries to flee, but Luigi and Wario catch him.
Lord Crump: Buhuh! Spare me!
Luigi: What happened?!
Crump: Dimentio
came! And he did the boom box thing to Bowser! I saw and heard him! He
didn’t want us going to the Golden
Land!
Wario: So Dimentio is helping us?
Luigi: NO. Not at all!
Wario notices a miniature Clown Copter outside.
Wario: Aw crud, I forgot about him!
Luigi: Who?
Wario: Bowser Junior… Koopa’s son… He was the vice president/king… But not anymore…
Luigi: Anyone know anything about that guy?
Vivian: They say no one’s ever seen him feel anything other than anger or happiness at the expense of others.
Petey: I only know his name.
Daisy: Not a single thing.
Luigi: Let’s go see for ourselves then, huh?
Everyone goes to the balcony. Junior is talking to Crump.
Junior: So he was here? Dimentio?
Crump: Yep… I’m running off now!
He does.
Junior: Woah, didn’t see you guys. Who are you guys?
Luigi: I’m Luigi and I was a first class Koopatrol… But I wasn’t a Koopa.
Wario: I’m Wario and I led the bombing missions.
Daisy: I’m Daisy and I own the bar that he used as his headquarters.
Vivian: I’m Vivian, and I sell flowers in the alleyways in the lower half.
Petey: I’m Petey Piranha and I don’t really have anything going on for me right now.
Junior: Okay… I only wanted your names but thanks for the other information I guess… I’m president of Koopa Inc!
Wario: Only because a clown blew your dad up!
Junior: Blew up,
passed it down to me, same difference. I’m going to lead everyone with
the power of FEAR! Because I’m cheap
and it’s too
expensive to do it my dad’s way…
Wario: I respect you a tad more now.
Luigi: Okay guys, you all leave and I’ll have an epic one on one battle with Junior here.
Wario: If you say so.
Daisy: Be careful!
They all leave.
Luigi: Yeah, she digs me.
Junior: Maybe…
Downstairs…
Daisy: Okay guys, you go ahead and I’ll wait for Luigi!
All Three: Okay…
Vivian, Wario, and Petey go to the elevator. Vivian slides the key card through the slot.
Console Pad: PREPARE FOR TERMINATION.
The elevator starts
going down at a steady pace with the other one going down at the same speed.
General Guy’s tank is on the
other one.
Petey: How did that thing fit in there?
Wario: Who cares? Either way, we’re safe! There’s solid glass between us!
Vivian: RPG battles don’t follow rules… Plus, while you were talking it shot at us, only breaking the glass.
Wario: But the author never declared “RPG BATTLE!” yet.
Vivian: Good point… Shade Fist!
Vivian disappears into the ground and reappears with the tank and punches it, catching it on fire. She reappears.
Shy Guys (inside): AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
The Shy Guys in the tank get out and break through the glass, falling to their doom.
Petey: Did we win?
Wario: Yeah, I’d say so.
The elevator continues its trip. Back at the top of the building…
Junior: Did you know Dimentio is a Person Thing of Significance?
Luigi: No I did not. I think. But neither of you are getting to the Golden Land on my watch.
Junior: So we won’t be friends then…
Luigi: I don’t really remember that ever being part of the plan. You just threw that out there out of the blue. Yeah, it’s too late now!
Junior: I knew I should’ve said something sooner. Oh well…
BOSS BATTLE!
Luigi: 270/270
Vs.
Junior: 300/300
Dark Chomp: 150/150
Luigi: Where’d
that Chain Chomp come from?!
Junior: Not important!
Luigi uses Generic
Lightning Magic! 12 damage each!
Junior uses Paintbrush
Smack! 10 damage!
Dark bites Luigi!
13 damage!
Luigi: 247/270
Vs.
Junior: 288/300
Dark Chomp: 138/150
Luigi uses Generic
Poison Magic! 20 damage each! Both enemies are poisoned!
Junior uses Shell
Toss on Luigi! 10 damage!
Dark bites Luigi!
It misses!
The poison damages
both enemies! 10 damage each!
Luigi: 237/270
Vs.
Junior: 258/300
(Poisoned)
Dark Chomp: 108/150
(Poisoned)
Luigi charges
his Final Smash!
Junior uses Shell
Toss on Luigi! 10 damage!
Dark bites Luigi!
13 damage!
The poison damages
both enemies! 10 damage each!
Luigi: 214/270
(Charging)
Vs.
Junior: 248/300
(Poisoned)
Dark Chomp: 98/150
(Poisoned)
Luigi unleashes
his Final Smash! Luigi uses Crosshammer on Dark! Luigi bashes Dark many
times! 60 damage!
Junior uses Paintbrush
Smack! 10 damage!
Dark bites Luigi!
13 damage!
The poison damages
both enemies! 10 damage! The poison wears off!
Luigi: 191/270
Vs.
Junior: 248/300
Dark Chomp: 38/150
Luigi uses Fire
Jump Punch on Dark! 30 damage!
Junior uses Paintbrush
Smack! He misses!
Dark bites Luigi!
He misses!
Luigi: Lucky!
Just what I needed!
Junior: No SMB2
references!
Luigi: 191/270
Vs.
Junior: 248/300
Dark Chomp: 8/150
Luigi uses Generic
Lightning Magic! 12 damage each!
Dark is defeated!
Junior: Ow… That’s
all for now, Luigi.
The helicopter (actually a miniature Clown Copter) flies by and Junior hops in.
Luigi: 191/270
Vs.
Junior: 226/300
Dark Chomp: 0/150
Luigi wins!
Luigi gains a level!
BATTLE OVER!
Luigi: Okay…
Luigi heads down until he finds Daisy.
Daisy: Luigi! Did you kill him?
Luigi: No, he left.
Meanwhile at the lobby, the elevator stops.
Wario: I’ll go see outside.
Wario walks out and then right back in.
Wario: Not gonna happen.
Petey: Well this was fun while it lasted.
Wario: Okay look,
you are definitely going to have to pay me for this! Especially since you
couldn’t handle looking after my kid, so
just hold on,
because we are definitely getting you out.
Vivian: Thanks, Mr. Wario… I think.
Wario: Mr. Wario… I could get used to that-
Petey: Hey guys, can we find a way out now?
Daisy comes down the stairs.
Daisy: Guys, Luigi’s in the auto shop, he has a plan, hurry!
They all run into
the auto shop but on the way they pass Luigi riding down the stairs on
a green Magikruiser motorcycle from
Mario Kart Wii.
Luigi: There’s a car in the shop, get in and follow me!
Petey: Shotgun!
Everyone Else: NO.
They go to the pick-up. Daisy and Vivian get into the front while Wario and Petey get into the back.
Daisy: Can you drive a stick?
Vivian: Yeah.
The car starts and it follows Luigi back up the stairs, up a ramp, and out a window!
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Vivian/Daisy/Wario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Petey: Whee!
They barely miss all the lasers shot at them and the vehicles land on a ramp going down and starts moving along the highway.
Luigi: That was close…
Wario: I’ll say…
Koopatrols: AFTER THEM!
Some Koopatrols start chasing the party on their own motorcycles.
Luigi: Aw crud…
The Koopatrols press buttons on their handlebars that shoot lasers at Luigi and the pick-up.
Party: AAH!
Wario: Luigi, stop messing around! Keep us safe!
Luigi: Why can’t you guys?
Wario: It’s technically a mini-game!
Luigi: Oh, I get it.
Luigi pulls out his hammer and approaches the nearest Koopatrol.
Koopatrol: Get away from me!
Luigi knocks the knight out, causing him to crash and explode.
Luigi: Ha!
Koopatrol #1: They got Johnson!
The Koopatrols start shooting more lasers than before.
Luigi: C’mon, I can’t do everything!
Petey spits out a large slime ball that takes care of two of the Koopatrols.
Petey: Happy?
Luigi: Yes.
Vivian: Wario, Petey, brace yourselves! We’re going up a ramp! I’m going to try to stop though, but it might be close!
Wario/Petey: Wah!
Wario: Luigi, we’re going up a huge ramp!
Luigi: Oh my!
Wario: And now a tank is following us! I expect you to pay me for pointing that out.
Luigi looks behind him.
Luigi: Oh no…
The pick-up stops and Luigi crashes into the back and goes flying. He lands right in front of the truck.
Luigi: Ow…
Vivian: Sorry…
Vivian and Petey get out to face the tank with Luigi. It stops and transforms.
Luigi: Oh my. We’re fighting Optimus Prime.
Galleom: Shut up.
Vivian: Can we do this like an RPG fight? I’ve never been in one yet!
Luigi: No, this chapter is long enough as it is! Thunderrrrr!
Luigi uses Thunderhand on Galleom, who then drops to his knees.
Galleom: Not… cool… I shall return…
Luigi: Oh no you don’t!
Luigi does the Fire Jump Punch and deactivates him. Galleom explodes.
Petey: I didn’t even get to do anything…
Vivian: Neither did I.
Petey: Oh yeah.
Wario and Daisy get out of the truck and walk over to the others.
Wario: Now what?
Luigi: Well I have to go kill Dimentio.
Wario: Will that save Plit?
Luigi: I think…
Wario: Well I’m going with you.
Vivian: Me too.
Daisy: So we’re leaving Koopa City then? Wow… Wait, how do we do that?
Luigi: We’ll all ride on Petey and he’ll fly us out.
Petey: Are you kidding me?!
Petey is then seen flying out of Koopa City with the party on his back.
Petey: You weren’t kidding… Ack! I can’t keep carrying this weight!
Petey falls. Everyone gets up and looks at the wide open space ahead.
Daisy: I can’t believe it’s been four chapters and we’re only just now on the world map?
Luigi: Meh. Okay, let’s wrap it up, guys, we don’t have much time left for this chapter.
Petey: I’m going
with you guys, but only until we reach my home. Unless I forget and accidentally
keep going with you all… That
second thing
is more likely to happen.
Luigi: Daisy, are you sure you want to go too?
Daisy: Well you’re not a complete idiot, you should be able to keep us safe. Plus there’s nothing left for me in Koopa City.
Luigi: True…
Luigi walks by Vivian.
Vivian: I’ve never left Koopa City…
Luigi: Really? Are you going to be okay?
Vivian: Well you seem to be able to do anything to save people, so I think I’ll be fine.
Luigi: Okay, let’s move out.
Wario: I call leader!
Luigi: No. I’M the main star with the personal, ambiguous vendetta against the mysterious villain. That makes me the leader.
Wario: Crud. Fine. We’ll all meet up northeast in Petalburg.
Luigi: Okay. Vivian and Petey, go with me.
Wario: Wait, we need to end this chapter with a joke!
Luigi: Joke? Why do we need a joke? Anything at all would be better than just cutting us-