Chapter 1-7: Wonderworld
Luigi is still in his Koopatrol armor, below deck on the Koopa (Ocean) Cruiser.
Luigi: … I’m bored.
He goes over to a sailor Bob-omb, who looks seasick.
Luigi: Are you okay?
Bombette: It’s me… Bombette…
Luigi: Oh. Okay.
Bombette: Do you have anything for… my… my… seasickness?
Luigi: No.
Bombette: Then… GO AWAY!
Luigi: Sheesh!
Luigi walks for a bit and finds another non-Koopa in Koopatrol armor.
Luigi: … Vivian?
Vivian: Hi, Luigi!
Luigi: Vivian, how’d you get into that armor? I mean, the head and torso seem manageable but there’s that long stalk of a leg of yours, wouldn’t that-
Vivian: It’s going down into the left boot and I tied the right boot to the left boot with tape and hop to get around. I’m tired. Say, I want to ask you something.
Luigi: Does this involve rice cake?
Vivian: … No.
Luigi: Then I have no problems with this question.
Vivian: … Do you think someday you could take me onto one of those airship things?
Luigi: Well I don’t see myself in a scenario where the party, let alone I myself, would get an airship, let alone that one. But who knows? They said that they wouldn’t be able to put a man on Jupiter!
Vivian: … They didn’t.
Luigi: Talk like that will cost you points in the “take me on the airship” charity.
Koopatrol: Hey! Guys! Get back to work! President Junior and General Guy are aboard this ship! If we do good enough they may promote us!
Luigi: I think we’ll need more brownie points for that to work, but okay.
Luigi goes upstairs and onto the deck to find another human Koopatrol.
Luigi: Guy from five years ago? Is that you?
Daisy: Luigi! It’s you! Glad to see you made it onboard.
Luigi: Oh, hi Daisy.
Daisy: This armor is uncomfortable. It’s built for someone way smaller than me.
Luigi: Yeah, I was one of the lucky ones to get taller Koopatrol armor. Same for this occasion too! I’m gonna find the others.
Luigi finds some kind of green thing that looks like it’s about to burst out of its Koopatrol armor.
Luigi: Let me guess. Petey.
Petey: Yep.
Luigi goes to the front of the ship to find Wario dressed as a sailor.
Luigi: Wario, there you are!
Wario: Hey Luigi. Did you use Goodstyle like the rest of us too?
Luigi: Goodstyle? I found this armor in a locker.
Wario: Oh. Junior and General Guy are right through that window but I can’t do anything to them!
Johnson’s cousin Johnson’s voice: WARNING! HEY EVERYBODY, MYSTERIOUS GUY FOUND ON THIS SHIP!
Wario: Yikes! We’d better group up again!
All of the party meet in the center of the ship.
Daisy: Wouldn’t everyone being together like this look kind of suspicious?
Luigi: Who cares?
Petey explodes out of his armor.
Petey: I can breathe again! And my head isn’t squashed anymore!
Luigi: I’ll go check this out.
Vivian: I’m going too.
Bombette: I feel a little seasick-
Luigi: You’re going.
Bombette: Aww…
The three ditch their disguises and head below deck.
Petey: Why didn’t he pick me? I’m already out of my disguise!
Koopatrol: Sir, are you one of the bad guys?
Petey: No.
Koopatrol: Well you’re not Junior or General Guy. You’re not a Koopatrol are a sailor either.
Petey: Uhhh, delivery guy?
Koopatrol: Okay, I’ll buy that.
Meanwhile below the deck, Luigi’s team meets a Clubba with his back turned.
Luigi: Hello?
The Clubba falls over. He’s dead. Then… Dimentio appears!
Luigi: Dimentio!
Dimentio: … Have we met?
Luigi: … You don’t remember me? Seriously?
Dimentio: No.
Luigi: Oh. Well it doesn’t matter since I’ll be ENDING YOUR GAME!
Dimentio: Not now… It’s time… Here, look after my mom for me. Or rather… [i]some of her![/
Dimentio drops a purple blob as he flips away. It becomes the Shadow Queen!
RPG BATTLE!
Luigi: 330/330
Vivian: 300/300
Bombette: 310/310
Vs.
Shadow Queen
ALPHA: 400/400
Vivian: Eek!
Bombette: Gross!
Luigi: Stay focused.
Luigi charges
his Final Smash!
Vivian uses Fiery
Jinx! 30 damage! ALPHA caught fire!
Bombette uses
Body Slam! 20 damage!
ALPHA uses Tidal
Wave! 50 damage each! Vivian’s weak against water! Double damage!
The fire does
10 damage to ALPHA!
Luigi: 280/330
(Charging)
Vivian: 200/300
Bombette: 290/310
Vs.
Shadow Queen
ALPHA: 340/400 (Burning)
Luigi unleashes
his Final Smash! Luigi uses Thunder Jump! Luigi jumps high and unleashes
a bolt of lightning! 30 damage! Luigi lands on ALPHA! 30 damage!
Vivian uses Multi-Fireballs!
10 hits! 4 damage each!
Bombette lights
her fuse!
ALPHA uses Big
Bubble on Luigi! 40 damage!
The fire does
10 damage to ALPHA!
Luigi: 240/330
Vivian: 200/300
Bombette: 290/310
(Fuse lit)
Vs.
Shadow Queen
ALPHA: 230/400 (Burning)
Luigi uses Jump!
20 damage!
Vivian uses Veil
with Luigi! They’re invisible!
Bombette uses
Bomb! Bombette explodes! 70 damage to ALPHA and herself! Luigi and Vivian
are immune! ALPHA can’t move!
The fire does
10 damage to ALPHA!
ALPHA is no longer
on fire!
Luigi: 240/330
Vivian: 200/300
Bombette: 220/310
Vs.
Shadow Queen
ALPHA: 130/400 (Stunned)
Luigi and Vivian
return!
Luigi uses Thunderhand!
25 damage!
ALPHA is weak
against thunder! Double damage!
Vivian uses Fiery
Jinx! 30 damage!
Bombette uses
Bang! 20 damage!
ALPHA can move
again!
ALPHA uses Big
Bubble on Bombette! 40 damage!
Luigi: 240/330
Vivian: 200/300
Bombette: 160/310
Vs.
Shadow Queen
ALPHA: 30/400
Luigi uses Jump!
20 damage!
Vivian uses Fiery
Jinx! 30 damage!
ALPHA is defeated!
Luigi: 240/330
Vivian: 200/300
Bombette: 160/310
Vs.
Shadow Queen
ALPHA: 0/400
Luigi, Vivian, and Bombette win!
Luigi gains a level! Vivian gains 77 exp! Bombette learns Super Bang!
BATTLE OVER!
Shadow Queen freaks out and reverts to a blob, which reverts into a purple, papery thin arm.
Luigi: … That monster was simply the Shadow Queen’s arm.
Bombette: He said, “it’s time”. What’s that mean?
Luigi: Either it’s Tool Time or something far worse. Hmm… He wanted the Golden Land all those years ago… And now he comes back and kills Bowser Koopa…
Johnson’s cousin Johnson’s voice: HEY EVERYBODY! WE’RE DOCKING IN DELFINO PLAZA IN A FEW MINUTES! GET READY FOR SUUUUUUUUUUUN!
Bombette: I’m going to kill him.
Soon enough the boat docks at Delfino Plaza and the party gets off.
Wario: Finally!
Wario catches sunburn.
Wario: Oh no! I wasn’t ready for the sun like that guy said! AAAAH! SHADE!
Wario runs under a tree.
Luigi: Okay guys, remember, we’re not here on vacation, we’re here to stop Dimen- Aw who am I kidding? PARTY!
One montage of partying later…
Luigi: Okay, [i]now we’re only here to follow Dimentio. Let’s go.
The party leaves the area. Soon, Bowser Junior’s miniature airship from Mario Galaxy lands on the helipad. Junior and General Guy walk out of the ship.
Junior: Ah, ain’t she a beaut? Much better than the stupid Clown Copter my dad gave me based off of his.
General Guy: A glorious vessel indeed.
Junior: Yeah, it just scream- Hold on a second! What’s that?!
The head on the front is shaped like Bowser’s.
General Guy: … A memorial to your father?
Junior walks over to the ship and yanks the head off, then throws it into the ocean.
Swimmer: Ow!
Junior then places a likeness of his own head on the front.
Junior: Good thing I had that with me. So… Dimentio was on the ship?
General Guy: I guess so.
Junior: And according to the script, so was Luigi’s group?
General Guy: … I guess so…
Junior: You really messed up bad this time, General Guy.
General Guy: … I… guess… so…
Junior: Is “I guess so” all you can say?!
General Guy: I guess so…
Junior: … Do something productive before the next time I see you!
Junior gets onto his airship and it flies away.
General Guy: … IGUESSSOIGUESSSOIGUESSOIGUESSO!
General Guy shouts this at the top of his lungs as he chases random tourists around the area in rage. Meanwhile, Luigi finds the girls in his party together near a beach.
Luigi: Hey ladies, what’s going on?
Daisy: It’s Fawful.
Luigi: WOAH!
Luigi runs up to Fawful.
Luigi: Hey Fawful, long time no see! So how’s life without Koopa? Great? Make you feel like blowing up their Garlic plants? Because if so-
Fawful: Stop talking.
Vivian, Daisy, and Bombette all walk over to the scene.
Luigi: I see they let you keep your medication and speech lessons. Okay, down to business. Do you know where Dimentio is?
Fawful: …
Luigi: What?
Fawful: Oh nothing, just remembering a hypothesis of mine… It appears to be working. You hear a calling out to you?
Luigi: What?
Fawful: Nothing… For now. Say, you’re the Person Thing of Significance.
Vivian: Vivian. Vi-vian.
Fawful: Right, Violet.
Vivian: …
Luigi: I don’t know if you were mispronouncing her name or referencing Larry’s Adventure 3, but this is serious, Fawful.
Vivian: My mom told me I was a Perso-
Fawful: Merlar? How is she?
Vivian: Dead.
Fawful: Oh yeah.
Vivian: Are Dimentio and the Shadow Queen also People Things of Significance?
Fawful: Head to the west.
Luigi: Okay.
But their stay in the plaza isn’t over. Luigi walks around randomly, Vivian and Bombette are nowhere to be found, Daisy goes for a swim even though she’s still in her regular outfit, Petey takes a nap while kids kick him, and Wario is doing something in the bathroom.
Luigi: Wario?
Wario: Not now!
Luigi: Okay…
Luigi walks away. On the other side of the door, Wario is in his sailor suit again.
Wario: … I can seriously make this look work.
And now it’s time to continue on their quest. They go along the map and reach a mountainous area with a Garlic plant. After a while they reach a village.
Koopley: You… HEY! EVERYBODY! THE FAT JERK’S BACK!
Wario: I missed you too. Wait here, guys.
Wario follows Koopley to meet Goompapa and Ishnail.
Wario: Hey people who don’t necessarily have anything to do with each other.
Goompapa headbonks Wario.
Goompapa: That’s for turning North Coral into the place it is today!
Wario: A dump?
Goompapa: No, I mean changing the “k” to a “c” in the name. The place was like this since it was founded!
Wario: Uh-huh…
The three each hit Wario one more time before walking away.
Luigi: Walk it off, Wario, we have a jester to follow.
Luigi sees a sign that says “Golden Wonderworld”.
Luigi: Golden Wonderworld? Like the Golden Land? Hot dog!
Luigi, Wario, and Bombette (his current team) walk over to a cable car, where Vivian, Daisy, and Petey are waiting.
Vivian: Wario, why does everyone hate you?
Wario: … Four years ago our town, Koral, was around here. But a desert grew over it, and now people live here in North Koral. But then I changed the K to a C because I was bored and because somehow I had a say in how the name was spelled. So now there’s the old ruins of Koral and the town of North Coral.
Petey: … That’s not weird at all.
Wario: SHUT UP! It was a small but thriving town that used coal instead of Garlic. In fact those times were the first instances of hearing the word “Garlic”. In the sense that we’ve been using, not as a food of course.
FLASHBACK!
[i]Wario, Nastasia, two Boomerang Bros, and some others are in a room.
Pa-Patch: Okay, Waluigi is the only one who isn’t in favor of this new “Garlic Plant”.
Wario: Waluigi, I’ll give you an eggplant if you change your mind.
Waluigi: It’s going to take more than an eggplant to-
Wario: Two eggplants.
Waluigi: Okay, I’m in.
Nastasia: K, that’s it then.
Wario voiceover: And then they burnt the village to the ground while Waluigi and I were out of town.[/
END FLASHBACK!
Luigi: But why?
Wario: Koopa blamed it on an explosion in the plant being due to people in the village… And guess who was the one who kept championing the plant?!
Petey: Bob Marley?
Wario: ME!
Petey: Oh.
Wario: I bought their story! And then I paid for it!
Wario grabs Luigi by his shoulders and shakes him.
Wario: I HATE PAYING FOR THINGS!
Luigi: Maybe a trip to the Golden Land will cheer you up.
Wario: Gold, you say? I’m in! But still, I’m not happy about what happened with Waluigi…
Daisy: Ouch…
Vivian: Yeah…
Petey: Really…
Bombette: (Ike’s voice) You’ll get no sympathy from me.
Everyone gets into the gondola and rides it until they see an odd gold-colored structure.
Party: Oooh. Aaah.
The gondola enters and emerges from a distorted giant Pikachu’s mouth.
Merlow: Would you like to learn how to translate coins to tokens?
Luigi: No.
Everyone walks into the main hub.
Wario: Well I’m gonna go angst. Have fun without me.
Wario jumps into a hole that leads to a part of the complex. Luigi walks up to Vivian.
Luigi: Hey Vivian, wanna go look around?
Vivian: Okay.
Luigi: Say guys, we’re gonna go get our reservations for the inn because I get the feeling this’ll be an overnight stay.
Petey: I guess that leaves us, Daisy.
Daisy: No.
Petey: Oh. Fine. I guess that leaves us, Bomb- Bombette?
She’s already off playing games.
Petey: Aww…
Meanwhile, Luigi and Vivian meet a fortuneteller.
Luigi: Oh no… NOT YOU!
P.T.: Hey, I’m not happy about this either! This job is my community service for stealing all those jokes in my lifetime in Lemmy’s Land!
Luigi: Fine, let’s just get this fortune over with!
P.T.: Okay… Your fortune is… “Bacon”.
Luigi: You’re holding a basketball with “bacon” written on it. In your handwriting. What kind of fortune teller are you? What are the requirements?
P.T.: Well I put out a fire in the kitchen with my face once.
Luigi: Okay… How about you tell me where Dimentio is?
P.T.: Okay…
P.T. puts the basket-crystalball in his trench coat and pulls out a snow globe and shakes it.
P.T.: It says… “Be good to other people.”
Luigi: Lame!
P.T. shakes it again.
P.T.: “Purple with pink polka-dots is your lucky color.”
Luigi: Lame!
P.T. shakes it desperately.
P.T.: Uhh… “You’ll get what you want but you’ll lose something you want more.”
Luigi: Okay…
P.T.: That was weird. Now I have to follow you guys around to see if it happens.
Luigi: Do you do that with everyone you fortune…tell?
P.T.: Yes.
P.T.’s earphone: No, it’s because that’s your job, you idiot!
P.T.: Uhh! I know that! Give me SOME credit!
Luigi: What was that?
P.T.: Nothing.
Luigi: Right…
The group walks a ways until they find a Koopatrol fall over dead.
Luigi: … What?
They head to the arena up the stairs behind said Koopatrol. There are many Dry Bones in Koopatrol armor.
Luigi: … Did Dimentio bomb these guys to death?
Vivian: Or skin them alive?
Dry Bones of Johnson’s cousin Johnson: Man… with… crazy eyes… Worst… vacation… ever…
He dies for good.
Vivian: Crazy eyes? That sounds like Wario!
Lakilester and two security guys from the Glitz Pit walk in. Well, Lakilester floats in.
Lakilester: Woah! What’d you do to these guys?!
Luigi: It wasn’t me!
Lakilester: Fortuneteller guy, I trusted you!
P.T.: It wasn’t- RUN AWAY!
The party run into the actual arena.
Birdo: That’s as far as you go!
Lakilester: Thank you, random patron.
Lakilester pulls a lever. Luigi, Vivian, and P.T. fall into a trapdoor.
P.T.: Whee!
Vivian: AAAAAAAAAH!
Luigi: HEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAALP!
Chapter 1-8: Mario and Waluigi: History-Star Saga
Luigi wakes up in some kinda desert setting far beneath the Golden Wonderworld.
Vivian: Luigi, you’re okay!
P.T.: We’re in Koral Desert, a desert surrounded by quicksand so we can’t ever escape ever. Ever.
Luigi: Thank you, Mr. Redundant.
Mr. Redundant: I didn’t do nothin’.
Luigi: … Well at least we landed on this big red pillow.
Vivian: It’s Gourmet Guy.
Gourmet Guy: WHY DO THINGS KEEP LANDING ON ME?!
Vivian: Look, it’s Wario!
Luigi and the party walk over to him.
Luigi: Wario? What’s up! Why’d you go crazy up there?
Wario: I didn’t do it!
Wario runs off and Luigi follows him and walks into an old, ratty house. It looks like the one from Wario’s flashback.
Luigi: Hmm… Someone forgot to feed the Chomp.
There’s a Chain Chomp skeleton next to an empty food bowl. How morbid. Wario comes in.
Wario: I SAID STAY AWAY!
Wario picks up a boulder and glares at P.T.
P.T.: Me?!
Wario throws it and the party ducks. It hits and kills King K.
Wario: Lousy jerk, owes me money!
Luigi: …
Daisy, Petey, and Bombette walk in.
Luigi: Guys? You’re here too? How’d you get caught?
Daisy: [i]Someone was mad about no one going with him and told the guards that we all know a man with crazy eyes and travel with him!
Petey: You don’t take Petey up on his offers – you pay the price.
Vivian: Wario, they said a man with crazy eyes killed all those people. Did you do it?
Wario: No.
Luigi: (sarcastically) Well you can’t argue with that logic.
Wario: Because there’s another guy with eyes like mine. Four years ago…
FLASHBACK!
[i]Wario voiceover: I was visiting the building of the Garlic plant until-
Pa-Patch: Oy! Them Koopas be burnin’ down da whole village!
Wario: Woah!
Wario and Waluigi take a look.
Waluigi: … I can see my house from here!
Wario: Hey, me too! … Are they on fire?
Waluigi: … I think, but don’t quote me on it.
Pa-Patch: … Uh oh! Guys, hurry back to-
A Fire Bro spits a fireball at Pa-Patch, causing him to explode. More Fire Bros. appear and start spitting rapid fire at Wario, who keeps dancing to avoid the fireballs.
Wario: Eek! Waluigi! Uh, hurry back to the village!
Waluigi: Okay.
Waluigi starts running, and Wario follows him. But Waluigi trips and Wario holds up a big rock to shield them.
Wario: You’re paying me for this!
Wario throws a pebble and it lands in a Fire Bro’s mouth, choking him to death. Nastasia walks up.
Nastasia: Umm, yeah. You can’t hit them with aim like that, K?
Fire Bro. #1: My friend Johnson says otherwise!
He spits a big fireball that breaks Wario’s rock.
Wario: Wha?
He spits another one that causes Waluigi to catch on fire.
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAH!!!
He runs around in circles until he falls off the cliff, but Wario grabs him by his hand, holding him up.
Wario: I’ll save you! Don’t worry; our wives and Walaine are waiting for us!
Waluigi: No! There’s a river down there! Drop me!
Wario: Okay.
Wario lets go and Waluigi falls like… well, a lanky man on fire.
Waluigi: Oh wait, the river’s in a DIFFERENT spot! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!![/
END FLASHBACK!
Daisy: From the sounds of it, Waluigi’s alive. And he hates Koopa too so maybe he can help!
Wario: No, I have to go confront him and apologize all by myself. And collect my pay.
Luigi: I’m going with you.
Vivian: I’m going too.
P.T.: Uh! I’m new! I wanna do it!
Vivian: *sigh* Fine…
Luigi, Wario, and P.T. leave the house and walk into a truck.
Grubba: Whataya want? If ya wanta go up, yagada win da Kart Races.
Luigi: … Is he speaking some kind of foreign language?
Wario: I honestly don’t know.
Grubba: Ta enter da race, y’all’ll needa boss’ permission!
Luigi: I’m going to leave before the Idiot Chip in my head burns a hole in my skull. Being near this guy behind me is risky enough as it is.
P.T.: Yeah, Wario.
Wario: …
Grubba: Dabossis tuda north.
So Luigi heads north to find a Boo Guy.
Boo Guy: The boss killed me and reduced me to this. I swear it’s as if he hates all the Shy Guys in the world or something!
Luigi: That’s too bad. I don’t care.
They keep going north and find Waluigi on the edge of a cliff, throwing miniature Bob-ombs over the edge.
Wario: Waluigi!
Waluigi: Wario…
Waluigi turns around to reveal horrible scars and burn marks.
Luigi/Wario/P.T.: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! MONSTER!
Waluigi: Shut up!
Waluigi limps over to Wario. Evidently the burn got his leg real bad.
Wario: Oh my DAD, I can’t believe it! It’s been a long time!
Waluigi: … Elaine’s ghost is telling me not to hate you.
Wario: You hear dead people? Wait, why are you killing random people?
Waluigi: Because I’m bored! I hate Koopa! I hate everyone here! Elaine and Walaine are both gone now!
Wario: Actually Walaine’s still alive, I saw her in town afterwards. She’s in Koopa City, so let’s go see her!
Waluigi: …
Luigi: Wait, so Walaine is WALUIGI’S daughter? I guess that makes sense… Waluigi and Elaine having a kid named Walaine… and she looks so much like Waluigi…
Wario: Luigi, shut up.
Waluigi: … Now we must have the ultimate duel, Wario.
Wario: No.
Waluigi: Darn. Well I have to take Walaine to see her mom…
Wario: You’re gonna kill your kid?!
Waluigi: I wasn’t thinking of doing it THAT way, but if it comes down to it, you know-
Wario: You’re crazier than I remember!
Waluigi: And you’re fatter than I remember.
Wario: Grr…
Waluigi: *sigh* My game is pointless now.
Wario: You have your daughter.
Waluigi: Wario! She was a baby then! She doesn’t remember me!
Wario: Actually-
Waluigi: Too late! Here, give her this necklace I stole. It’ll bring out her inner greed and she’ll grow up to be just like us.
Wario: Okay.
He takes it.
Waluigi: Take care of her or so help me! … THIS! IS! KORAL!
Waluigi kicks himself over the cliff.
Wario: …
Luigi: …
P.T.: …
Luigi: … So is this a sad moment or should we be confused?
Wario: I think a little of both is good.
Later…
Grubba: Nowut?
Luigi: Uh, we got his… “permission”.
Grubba: Kay… Whatappened tuim?
P.T.: He died!
Grubba: I see… Okay y’allkin go. Budyagada winda race to earnyer freedum.
In the Golden Wonderworld, Luigi is at the start of a rainbow-y racetrack riding a green Dolphin Dasher.
3-2-1-GO!
The others zip by Luigi.
Luigi: Aww…
Luigi starts going and finds a Spiny Shell!
Luigi: All right!
He throws it at the first place guy, knocking out him and everyone else in the race, and wins.
Luigi: Hooray! Just like on Circuitbreak Island!
Soon Luigi is in the break room.
Glitz Pit Guard: Congratulations, it’s a letter from Lakilester.
Luigi: “Congrats. You’re excused. Now get out before I change my mind.” Sounds like a plan!
Luigi’s earphone rings.
Luigi: Huh? Hello? Who is this and when did I get an earphone?
Vivian’s voice: When we fell into the desert, they gave us some of these. They gave us an RV as a prize!
Luigi: Shweet!
Vivian’s voice: Lakilester also says he saw Dimentio near Gloam Valley.
Luigi: I see…
Soon, Luigi and the entire party are in an RV on the world map. They follow the GPS and start heading to Gloam Valley.
Petey’s voice: Are we there yet?
P.T.’s voice: Are we there yet?
Petey’s voice: Are we there yet?
P.T.’s voice: Are we there yet?
Luigi’s voice: SHUT UP!
Bombette’s voice: RV there yet?
Luigi’s voice: … Oh look, something!
Luigi, Vivian, and P.T. get out and find Boshi and Dr. Topper talking to each other.
Boshi: So you have a crush on Daisy?
Dr. Topper: … Yes…
Boshi: And I think Croco might have a thing for that Significant Person Thing or whatever.
Luigi: Those guys are weird.
Mimi: They’re stupid.
Luigi: Huh?
Mimi: … Oopsie… GUYS! THEY’RE HERE!
Boshi/Dr. Topper: Huh? YOU!
Mimi: You guys beat them and I’ll go tell Croco!
She runs off.
Boshi: You?
P.T.: Huh?
Boshi: With them?
P.T.: Uh-
Dr. Topper: Who cares, let’s just beat Luigi and his friends up.
Boshi: Sounds good. You remember what you did to me back in Area 7?
Luigi: I’m not in the mood, Cookie Monster.
Boshi: You’re going to eat those words. And then I’m going to eat some cookies. And then Dr. Topper will help himself to some brisket.
Dr. Topper: Mmm… Brisket…
Boshi: And then we’ll get Oreos and pudding and then dip them in the pudding!
Dr. Topper: It’s better than happiness.
Boshi: It’s time for you guys to die.
Birdo: That’s as far as you go!
Luigi: Birdo! Leave us alone!
Birdo: Aww…
She leaves.
BOSS BATTLE!
Luigi: 400/400
Vivian: 390/390
P.T.: 395/395
Vs.
Boshi: 500/500
Dr. Topper: 510/510
Luigi charges
his Final Smash!
Vivian uses Shade
Fist on Dr. Topper! 20 damage!
P.T. uses Evil
Furby Toss on Boshi! 25 damage! The Furby stays with Boshi!
Boshi uses Electro-Tongue
on Luigi! 40 damage! Luigi’s strong against lightning! Damage cut in half!
Dr. Topper uses
Mallet Rain on P.T.! 50 damage!
The Furby bites
Boshi! 10 damage!
Luigi: 380/400
(Charging)
Vivian: 390/390
P.T.: 345/395
Vs.
Boshi: 465/500
(Furby’d)
Dr. Topper: 490/510
Luigi unleashes
his Final Smash! Luigi uses Thunder Jump on Topper! Luigi jumps high and
unleashes a lightning bolt! 30 damage! Luigi lands on Topper! 30 damage!
Vivian uses Fiery
Jinx! 30 damage each! Boshi and Topper catch on fire!
P.T. charges
his Final Smash!
Boshi uses Gulp!
Boshi eats Vivian and spits her out at P.T.! 30 damage each!
Topper uses Big
Hammer on Luigi! 40 damage!
The Furby bites
Boshi! 10 damage!
The fire burns
all foes! 10 damage each!
Luigi: 340/400
Vivian: 360/390
P.T.: 315/395
(Charging)
Vs.
Boshi: 425/500
(Furby’d, Burning)
Dr. Topper: 390/510
(Burning)
Luigi uses Fire
Jump Punch on Boshi! 60 damage!
Vivian uses Healing
Wave! The party gains 20 hp each!
P.T. unleashes
his Final Smash! P.T. uses Torpedo Away! P.T. holds Boshi down.
P.T.: Eenie!
Another P.T.
holds him down.
Second P.T.:
Meenie!
A third holds
him down.
Third P.T.: Miny!
All three: MOE!
Torpedo Ted drops
from the sky!
Torpedo Ted:
I’M A TORPEDO!
Torpedo Ted falls
and explodes on Boshi! 60 damage! Topper takes 15 damage! P.T. takes 30
damage!
Boshi uses Ground
Pound on Luigi! 40 damage!
Dr. Topper uses
Big Hammer on Vivian! 40 damage!
The Furby bites
Boshi! 10 damage! The Furby runs away!
The fire burns
all foes! 10 damage each!
Luigi: 320/400
Vivian: 340/390
P.T.: 305/395
Vs.
Boshi: 295/500
(Burning)
Dr. Topper: 365/510
(Burning)
Luigi uses a Summon!
Luigi summons Flurrie! Flurrie comes out of nowhere and crashes into Topper!
50 damage!
Vivian uses Shroom
Shake on P.T.! P.T. gains 20 HP!
P.T. uses Boomerang
on all foes! 30 damage each!
Boshi: Ow… Forget
this!
Boshi runs away.
Dr. Topper uses
Mallet Rain on Vivian! 50 damage!
The fire burns
Dr. Topper! 10 damage! The fire goes out!
Luigi: 320/400
Vivian: 290/390
P.T.: 325/395
Vs.
Boshi: 265/500
(Gone)
Dr. Topper: 285/510
Luigi uses Jump
on Dr. Topper! 20 damage!
Dr. Topper: …
Ow…
Dr. Topper runs
away.
Luigi: 320/400
Vivian: 290/390
P.T.: 325/395
Vs.
Boshi: 265/500
(Gone)
Dr. Topper: 245/510
(Gone)
Luigi, Vivian, and P.T. win!
Luigi learnsd Green Missile! Vivian learns Infatuate! P.T. gains a level!
BATTLE OVER!
Vivian: How’d they know we’d be here?
Luigi eyes P.T.
P.T.: What? Me?
Luigi: … Nah, he’s too stupid.
P.T.: I’ll take that as a compliment.
Vivian: Hey look, a destroyed Garlic plant!
Wario’s voice: Yay!
Luigi’s party goes over to investigate. But then…
Luigi: Uh oh! Nastasia! Head of the Brother Battalion!
Vivian: Brother Battalion?
Luigi: She commands all the Hammer Bros, Fire Bros, Boomerang Bros, etc. Except for Topper. Hide!
The party hides while Nastasia and Croco walk up to the center of the area.
Nastasia: K… The Big Badge in this plant… doesn’t work at all, it seems. Too ruined.
Croco: Okay.
Nastasia: Yeah, how ‘bout you find a WORKING one?
Croco: Okay.
Nastasia: That stupid General Guy’s rubbing off on you.
Croco: O… Sorry.
They leave. Luigi investigates the badge.
Luigi: The “Chunk Badge”?
Luigi pulls out the enclosed instruction book and reads about it.
Luigi: It’s a Summon! Cool!
Luigi takes it and they head in a different direction into Gloam Village.
Gus: Lots of people died here when the Garlic plant explo-
Luigi: Don’t care.
Luigi goes into a Toad House.
Red Old Guy: … You used to be a Koopatrol? Your eyes are glowing.
Luigi: Uhh, I guess…
Green Old Woman: Have you met our son? He joined them too. His name is Mario.
Luigi: Nope. Never heard of him.
Vivian: … *sigh*
Red Old Guy: I apparently struck a nerve. Do you know about Mario?
Vivian goes outside.
P.T.: (to Luigi) Why did she leave just because some old guy asked me a question?
Luigi: …
Green Old Woman: Maybe they went out?
Luigi and P.T. walk outside.
Luigi: Vivian? You want to talk about it?
Vivian: Mario… I used to go out with him. That’s who I remembered when we were going to Area 7 in Koopa City.
Luigi: I see.
Vivian: But then he left and I never saw him again.
Luigi: Wow. Okay then. Let’s move on in the plot!
Luigi, Vivian, and P.T. get into the RV.
Bombette: What were you guys doing?
Luigi: Doesn’t matter.
They start driving and get near a canyon at sunset when the RV explodes.
Luigi: Ow… Everyone all right? … Ah, who cares?
Luigi, Vivian, and P.T. (still the current party) head into the canyon area and up some stairs.
Luigi: Who are you?
Hootie the Blue Fish: Hootie. Welcome to Bianco Canyon.
???: Home sweet home! So long, suckers!
Petey flaps his leaves and flies over the party and the entrance into the canyon.
Petey: Bye, guys!
Vivian: … We’re going after him, right?
Luigi: Yeah.