Chapter 1-9: Land of the Peteys
Hootie: You see, here in Bianco Canyon-
Luigi: Don’t care.
Hootie: Then you’re not allowed in.
Petey’s voice: It’s okay, they’re cool… Well, cool enough.
Hootie: Aww…
Luigi, Vivian, and P.T. head over to Petey.
Petey: If you didn’t figure it out, I live here. I’ll show you to my roommate.
They all follow Petey up to an observatory.
Petey: Note how since I’m a main character, I get the house that stands out the most.
Luigi: Yes, a time-honored tradition in RPGs.
Vivian: Just like how my house was the only one with a garden.
P.T.: … Do I even have a home?
Luigi: You know what, I don’t think I do either…
Petey: Our tribe lived here and protected the world, and they invented the blender.
P.T.: That explains a lot.
Petey: My mom died protecting this place, and my dad ran off like the coward he was, and my uncle Ted slept through the whole thing due to a crazy party the night before, which is understandable.
Vivian: Is he still alive?
Petey: Yeah, he didn’t get killed… But when he went to Moonview Highway there was an unfortunate truck accident with a Banana Peel some racers left out… And I don’t want to talk about it. And now I have to stay here and protect it, thanks for the ride.
Voice: Yo Petey, you’re back, dawg! Missed ya!
Petey: Yo!
Petey goes into the observatory and the party follows.
Petey: Hey guys, this is my college roommate, Bestovius!
Bestovius: Yo.
Petey: Yeah, we pulled a lot of pranks during the day.
Luigi: You’re in college right now?
Petey: Yeah, but I cut class a lot…
Bestovius: I cover for him with an inflatable Petey doll. It gets better grades than the real one.
Everyone: 0_0
Bestovius: I can hear the planet. It says, “I’m hurt. I’m suffering. Y’all need to be Going Green.”
Luigi: Well I’ve done my part. Look at my colors!
Vivian hits him for making a joke about caring about Plit.
Vivian: Luigi, knock it off! You know my people care about the planet!
Luigi: Fine…
Petey: Let’s show them the holograph of space.
Bestovius: Cool.
Luigi: All right, but first…
Luigi throws a shiny thing out a window.
P.T.: PICKLES!
P.T. runs out to get it while Luigi replaces him with Wario.
Luigi: Needed that. Okay, let’s go.
They soon go to the upper story and turn on the projection.
Luigi/Vivian/Wario: Oooh. Ahh.
Bestovius: You see, when people get a Game Over their body becomes one with Plit. Then their soul becomes one with the planet. This is Planetism.
Luigi: I don’t believe in Planetism. I believe in the Underwhere and Overthere.
Bestovius: Then no presentation for you! Get out!
Luigi: But-
Bestovius: Fine, but no popcorn for you!
Luigi: Aww…
Bestovius: The world, Garlic, and the souls all flow together as World Energy. The world. Or as one anime character and I would like to refer to it as… ZA WARUDO!
There’s an echo as he says it, and he does so dramatically. This happens any time someone says “ZA WARUDO” in all caps.
Bestovius: Yes, when people die their bodies replenish the environment. Not enough to stop any major crisis, but, you know… maybe plant a tree or two. But when all the energy and Garlic are taken away…
Wario: Plit is destroyed?
Bestovius: No, it just loses all its color and gets really boring to look at, forcing people to stay inside more often and get fat by eating Snacky Cakes.
Wario: Are you implying there’s something wrong with Snacky Cakes?!
Bestovius: And that’s what’s Koopa is doing, they’re making us all fat by ruining the environment with all their Garlic Plants. Okay, show’s over.
Soon the whole party is around a campfire in the middle of the village. A little while passes. Luigi talks to Daisy.
Luigi: Hey Daisy.
Daisy: Hey Luigi… You know, about… No… Never mind.
Luigi: Okay. (Well that was a waste.)
Luigi looks over to Wario.
Wario: The Musty Fears… I’m glad I don’t have to pay them but I actually miss them some… Dry Bones’ ribcage made the perfect place to stash treasure when I was a suspect for theft.
Luigi: That’s both touching and disturbing.
Luigi goes over to Bombette.
Bombette: I’m bored. People get mad when you want to blow up some rocks.
Luigi: I can’t imagine why…
Luigi goes over to P.T.
P.T.: I found the shiny thing. It was a nickel.
Wario: MINE!
Wario tackles him for the nickel.
Luigi: Classic Wario.
Luigi goes over to Vivian.
Vivian: I feel so alone…
Luigi: You have us.
Vivian: You’re not People Things of Significance.
Luigi: I’ve always wanted to know, are they REALLY named that? How’d they come up with names like that?
Vivian: The People Things of Significance first arrived on Plit over 2,000 years ago and were named by the natives. Language and creativity weren’t that advanced among those native to Plit at that point in time.
Luigi: Ah.
Luigi goes over to Petey.
Luigi: So you’re glad to be back home?
Petey: Yeah… But it… Well actually this situation right now reminds me of that time when I was younger… when my parents had their Game Overs. I miss my mom like a normal person, but my dad… I hate him.
Luigi: JUST because he was a coward?
Petey: Well we Piranha Plants pride ourselves on courage. That and the fact that he made me eat vegetables… WE’RE PRACTICALLY VEGETABLES! THAT’S CANNIBALISM!
Luigi: I… guess… so… I’m gonna walk away now-
Bestovius: Yo, dawgs! Petey, you’re sure you can’t forgive him?
Bestovius comes up to the party.
Petey: Well he ran away when the Ghost Tribe attacked, so yeah.
Bestovius: … Oh yeah, that reminds me! Petey, you should see something. Luigi and one other person should go.
Vivian: I’ll go-
Daisy: I’ve barely had any screen time lately!
Wario: Me neither!
Bombette: Me neither!
Luigi: Ooh… Who to pic- Daisy.
Daisy: Yes!
Luigi: Okay, let’s go.
Luigi, Daisy, and Petey follow Bestovius into a secret cave.
Bestovius: Now watch out, all the ghosts here were killed during battle.
Petey: Weren’t they already ghosts?
Bestovius: You know, that’s always confused me, too. Now watch out. These guys up ahead have an attack that will instantly kill you in 60 seconds even if it’s your turn to attack in a battle!
And thus the party further explore the caves.
Petey: Who would’ve thought these dangerous caverns were under our homes all this time?
Bestovius: Yeah man. Okay, stay together, guys. These caves are how the Ghost Tribe got to the Bianco Tribe. The great warrior went on past the next room all alone to deal with the leader of the Ghost Tribe. He had a hard fight ahead of him. Now watch out.
They all go into the next room.
Targitzan: WHO DARES ENTER MY SACRED CHAMBER?
Bestovius: Oh sorry, wrong room.
Bestovius leads the party out and into the next door over. It’s a statue… but it comes to life!
Bouldergeist: ROOOOOOOARRR!!!
BOSS BATTLE!
Luigi: 500/500
Petey: 510/510
Daisy: 490/490
Vs.
Bouldergeist:
610/610
Luigi uses Hammer!
15 damage!
Petey charges
his Final Smash!
Daisy charges
her Final Smash!
Bouldergeist
smashes Luigi and Daisy with his fists! 30 damage each!
Luigi: 470/500
Petey: 510/510
(Charging)
Daisy: 460/490
(Charging)
Vs.
Bouldergeist:
595/610
Luigi charges
his Final Smash!
Petey unleashes
his Final Smash! Petey uses Wham-Bam-Slap! Petey flies up and drops on
Bouldergeist! 60 damage! Petey leaps back and slaps Bouldergeist with both
leaves! 20 damage! Petey finishes with a headbutt! 20 damage!
Petey: That was
long…
Daisy unleashes
her Final Smash! Daisy uses Daisy Laser! Daisy summons a large flower that
shoots a beam at Bouldergeist! 60 damage!
Bouldergeist
throws a Bomb Boo at Daisy! 20 damage!
Luigi: 470/500
(Charging)
Petey: 510/510
Daisy: 440/490
Vs.
Bouldergeist:
435/610
Luigi unleashes
his Final Smash! Luigi uses Thunder Jump! Luigi jumps high into the air
and unleashes lightning! 30 damage! Luigi lands on Bouldergeist! 30 damage!
Petey summons
O’Chunks! O’Chunks appears, grabs Bouldergeist, and tosses him! 20 damage!
O’Chunks rams into Bouldergeist! 30 damage! O’Chunks charges up a big punch
and lets Bouldergeist have it! 40 damage!
Bouldergeist
is dizzy!
Daisy uses PAUNCH!
25 damage!
Bouldergeist
is too dizzy to attack!
Luigi: 470/500
Petey: 510/510
Daisy: 440/490
Vs.
Bouldergeist:
260/610 (Dizzy)
Luigi uses Jump!
20 damage!
Petey uses Sludge
Ball! 30 damage!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick! 20 damage!
Bouldergeist
is too dizzy to attack!
Luigi: 470/500
Petey: 510/510
Daisy: 440/490
Vs.
Bouldergeist:
190/610 (Dizzy)
Luigi uses Generic
Water Magic! 30 damage! Bouldergeist is weak to water! Double damage!
Petey uses Leaf
Slap! 25 damage!
Daisy uses Generic
Water Magic! 30 damage! Bouldergeist is weak to water! Double damage!
Bouldergeist
recovers from dizziness!
Bouldergeist
creates a rock barricade around Luigi! He can’t attack Bouldergeist!
Luigi: 470/500
Petey: 510/510
Daisy: 440/490
Vs.
Bouldergeist:
45/610
Barricade: 35/35
Luigi uses Hammer
on the Barricade! 15 damage!
Petey uses Leaf
Slap! 25 damage!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick! 20 damage!
Bouldergeist
is defeated!
Luigi’s barricade
lowers!
Luigi, Daisy,
and Petey win!
Luigi gains 234
exp! Daisy learns her next Final Smash! Petey gains a level!
BATTLE OVER!
Bestovius: That guy was actually a pushover… How’d he give us trouble, again?
Daisy: We DID level-grind, to be honest.
Bestovius: Ah.
Petey leads the way to the area ahead…
Petey: Oh my…
Bestovius: This great warrior I mentioned who kept them from entering managed to keep the tribe out of the canyon. Or maybe he only tried to. I forget… But then… His game ended… And up there on that cliffside is that warrior… Petey… It’s your father!
Petey looks up to see a statue of a certain singer.
Petey: My father was Ozzy Osbourne?!
Bestovius: Oh, wrong statue. Look up on the cliffside across from it.
Petey looks. It’s a statue of Petey Piranha I, who looks exactly the same, only slightly more monstrous and older.
Petey: Oh…
Bestovius: That dawg left yo mama without saying a word so he could stop the Ghost Tribe. And even now his spirit guards this place…
Petey: Dad… I had no idea… I thought-
Bestovius: Yeah, like I said, I forgot to tell you. But take note, Petey. Yo daddy be the greatest Piranha Plant ever to live here.
Petey: Yeah… I get it now…
Bestovius: Luigi, I think Petey needs some alone time.
Luigi: Okay.
Luigi and Daisy leave.
Bestovius: Petey, while your dad’s mission in life was to protect Bianco Canyon, yours is to protect all of Plit. Go with Luigi and his friends.
Petey: … What makes you the boss of me?
Bestovius: I just revealed to you the truth about your family!
Petey: True… All right, I’ll go with Luigi and the others and save the world from Dimentio and make Petey J. Piranha Senior proud!
Bestovius: Tight.
Suddenly the Petey Senior statue starts leaking tears.
Bestovius: Aw man. I know this be a touching moment and all, but the statue is crying? For reals? That’s messed up.
Petey ignores this and roars some kind of Piranha Plant roar to the moon in honor of his dad. He sounds exactly like a Wookie but I don’t think he cares.
Meanwhile everyone else is around the fire.
P.T.: -And then the waiter said, “That’s no lobster, that’s my wife!”
Most of them give him a pity laugh.
Wario: That was awful.
Luigi: Okay, Petey wants to stay here, so I guess we should just leave him now. He was probably the strongest in our group but we’ll manage. C’mon, guys.
Everyone heads to the exit. Petey appears.
Petey: Wait, I’m coming too!
Luigi: Really? Cool, okay, let’s go.
Petey: Don’t you even want to hear my new motives and personal goals?
Everyone says no in one way or another.
Petey: Aww…
Bestovius: Take care of him, a’ight?
Luigi: Okay. But stop with the hip-hop talk. It’s really, REALLY annoying.
Bestovius: Hate the sport, not the player.
Bestovius flies away.
Luigi: Is it natural to hate both?
Petey: You get used to it.
Everyone heads downstairs to find…
Bombette: The RV! It’s back to normal!
Hootie: I fixed it for you guys. You’re welcome.
Luigi: Okay…
Luigi and the others climb in.
Hootie: Aren’t you gonna pay me?
Luigi hands him a coin.
Luigi: Hurry before Wario sees you with it. Seriously, move! Double-time! Book it! Your game depends on it!
Hootie runs off as the RV drives away from Bianco Canyon.
Wario’s voice: I sense a disturbance in the force.
Luigi’s voice: You’ll get used to it.
Soon the RV stops at a village.
Daisy: Luigi…
Luigi: I see it.
Luigi and Daisy get out of the RV and run up to see something. Everyone else gets out and follows.
Vivian: Guys, what’s wrong?
Luigi: Okay… Guys… this is… Toad Town!
Wario/Vivian/Petey/Bombette/P.T.:
*gasp*
Chapter 1-10: Merlon’s Got a Gun
The whole party is outside Toad Town.
Daisy: But… this village shouldn’t be here… I thought they tore it down after the fires!
Wario: And I thought that canyon was a dump…
Petey: Excuse me? Koral wasn’t exactly a field of happiness either, but you didn’t hear me say anything!
Bombette: You were constantly complaining about the place while we waited for Luigi to let us all go free!
Petey: Oh yeah…
P.T.: How many hometowns are we going to visit in a row, anyway?!
Vivian: Good question…
Luigi and Daisy head into the nearest building, and the party follows.
Petey: Did the town look like this before the fire?
Normal Koopa: What fire?
Daisy: Yes…
Luigi: Hey man, what’s the deal? I thought this place was burnt in a fire.
Koopa Clerk: What? That’s preposterous! No such thing! Don’t speak of such things! Get out! No meal for you!
Petey: What meal? It’s the inn.
Koopa Clerk: All the more reason not to feed you, now get out!
The party is forced out of the inn. The normal Koopa walks out and heads into a house.
Koopa: Koopa Village always been this way, idiots.
Daisy: I doubt that. There were no Koopa Troopas here… And it was called Toad Town.
Luigi and Daisy hear a voice in an ally. Once again the party follows. They notice a Bogmire Shadow with a yellow six marked on his forehead.
Petey: Woah! That’s like the 13 marked on me!
Petey raises his left leaf. The camera zooms in to find a barely noticeable tattoo.
Bogmire Shadow: Must go… to the… reunion… Free food…
The party go into the item shop and notice another Bogmire Shadow with a 12.
Bogmire Shadow: Dimentio… is calling out… to us…
Luigi: !
Daisy: I wonder…
Daisy runs out and heads into her old house, and everyone including Luigi follows.
Bogmire Shadow: Must give it… to Dimentio… We’ll all become… one… Nice place you have here… Isn’t that right… guys?
Bogmire Shadow (11): Yes… Reunion…
Bogmire Shadow’s voice upstairs (4): There’s a Wii… Great Dimentio… Where are you…?
Daisy: Uh, thanks? What are you guys talking about?
Bogmire Shadow: Must give it… to-
Daisy: Okay, I get it, you keep repeating.
This one has five on his head, by the way. Everyone goes upstairs and notices the fourth Bogmire Shadow playing Mario Kart Wii. Luigi, Daisy, and Vivian go into Daisy’s room to see a note on her desk.
Luigi: It’s from Fawful! Let’s see… “None of the puppets have left the town. They all sense something but instead of doing something about it they sit around and mumble the words Dimentio and Reunion. Also nobody seems to notice that we replaced all the villagers with Koopatrols, stripped them of their armor, and renamed the place Koopa Village.”
Daisy: What?!
Vivian: That’s not right!
Luigi: You’d think someone would have an outside relative or something that would notice, but I guess not… Okay let’s keep going.
The three head into the previous upstairs room. Wario, Petey, and P.T. are about to start a race with Bogmire Shadow 4.
Luigi: What the- Guys it’s time to go.
P.T.: But he unlocked Dry Bowser!
Wario: And I have a new strategy I want to try!
Petey: I want to race on Grumble Volcano!
Bombette: I was gonna switch out with the loser after the race!
Luigi: Too bad. Besides, I think these shadow guys are bad news. Come on.
All Four: Aww…
Outside, Luigi spots the warp pipe that leads to his house. It’s blocked.
Luigi: Of course…
They head toward Koopa Mansion.
Bogmire Shadow: Dimentio… in the mansion…
Another Bogmire Shadow: He’s calling…
Luigi: Woah! Okay guys, as fun as it is to travel as a full party, it’s time for me to go with just two people again. Vivian, Daisy, you’re with me. The rest of you… I don’t care. Just stay out of trouble.
They go into the mansion.
Wario/Petey/Bombette/P.T.: … MARIO KART WII!
They all rush back to Daisy’s old house. Meanwhile…
Daisy: Am I the only one who finds it creepy that they’re playing that ominous theme in this mansion after all that time?
Luigi: No…
Vivian: There’s a note…
Luigi picks it up off the wall. It has familiar handwriting.
Luigi: “No one can stand in the way. Not even that Yoshi. Note to self: Buy more condiments.” That’s odd. Oh well.
Vivian: Wait, there’s more.
Luigi looks again.
Luigi: “I altered his genetic structure and whatnot and then locked him up in the basement. The combination to the vault with his key is scattered around the mansion. When you get it all you have 20 seconds to open the vault or you’ll be killed on the spot.”
Daisy: With music like this playing, that threat isn’t any more pleasant. Well, not that it would be…
Luigi: So THAT’S the voice I heard five years ago. Oh well. He’s probably dead now.
After hours (more like 15 minutes) of searching through the mansion with the creepy/ominous theme, the gang find the clues and head to the safe.
Luigi: Rooby-dooby-doo!
Vivian/Daisy: …
Luigi opens the
vault.
Right – 36
Left – 10
Right – 59
Right – 97
A giant demonic monster (The Missing Link) bursts out of the safe and pins Luigi to the wall!
Luigi: *girly scream*
Daisy punches and kicks it while Vivian uses Shade Fist. No effect!
Missing Link: ARRRRRRRROOOOOOOO!!!
Luigi wiggles until he frees his arm, and pinches the giant monster’s hand.
Missing Link: AAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
He lets go and Luigi jumps high up and comes down with his hammer out. He wails on the beast.
Luigi: I call it the Jump Hammer!
The monster takes a few steps back but regains his balance.
Missing Link: ARRRRROOO!!!
Daisy: Oh no!
Vivian: He’s tough!
Luigi: Oh my…
Suddenly the Flame Runner, being ridden by Petey, being ridden by Bombette, being ridden by P.T., being ridden by Wario bursts in through the window.
Luigi/Daisy/Vivian: What?!
Petey: BONZAI!!!
The group crashes into the monster, causing it to explode, destroying the Flame Runner and sending all four to the floor. It’s lucky they didn’t break through as this is a second-story room.
Luigi: Thanks for the help, guys. We’ll take it from here. Buy yourselves something nice.
Luigi flips a coin onto the ground and Wario immediately gets up to grab it. Daisy picks up a key from inside the safe and the three head into the basement where it’s said to lead to. Luigi finds Dimentio in the library in the farthest room.
Luigi: Woah! That was kind of creepy just to see you there standing as if you were waiting for us… Oh well… So we meet again, Dimentio.
Dimentio: The memories… They are flooding back, like many feet of water in a rainstorm! Will we see you at the Reunion? I assure there will be free food.
Luigi: Uhhh… I still don’t know what that is.
Dimentio: Are you an idiot? Food is-
Luigi: No, I meant the Reunion!
Dimentio: It’s for Mom…
Daisy: The lady from (Anti-)Heroes?
Dimentio: No… “Queen”. She’ll be there and join with the Shadows of Despair to gain even more power. I’m going to Mt. Toad and past there. Follow if you want.
Luigi: No, you’re not going anywhere!
Dimentio uses his signature exit.
Daisy: He’s gone…
Vivian: We have to stop him.
The three head out to find their friends until they notice the pathway to that coffin.
Luigi: Hmm… He’s probably dead by now, but I just want to see…
Luigi unlocks the coffin and Merlon (Super Paper Mario version) breaks out, gasping for air.
Merlon: FINALLY! I couldn’t breathe in there!
Luigi: Sorry about that, I was busy earlier.
Merlon: That was you?! Oh well… I had a nightmare in there but then I woke up… and had trouble breathing… Eventually since five years ago I poked holes in the top of the coffin, but stale air from within the mansion and no fresh air kind of made it bad for me. I need to get outside before I die… or throw up… something. This mansion is the stuff of nightmares.
Luigi: Yeah, this is where Dimentio snapped and went crazy, killing everyone in town.
Merlon: … Explain.
Luigi explains the events of five years ago.
Merlon: Dimentio knows that he was created five years ago, and he knows about the Queen Project?
Luigi: Zuh?
Merlon: And now he wants the Golden Land. And now hearing your troubles is giving me nightmares, thanks a lot. I’m gonna go back to sleep now.
Luigi: But what about your air?
Merlon: I’ve lived a long life.
Luigi: At least tell us who you are?
Merlon: … I used to be with Koopa. I was one of the Yoshis. I’m Merlon.
Daisy: Wouldn’t Geno have suited this role better? Maybe?
Merlon: Yeah, but I saw this one gets better attention, so we traded. I told him he’d get more screen time. Ha!
Luigi/Daisy/Vivian: …
Luigi: Well I’m Luigi, and I used to be with the Koopatrols, but you know that since I told you about five years ago.
Merlon: So… You know Merlumina then?
Luigi: Mer-who-mina?
Merlon: Never mind. But you at least know about Johnson’s great-grandfather, Johnson?
Luigi: No.
Vivian: How big is the Johnson family, anyway?! And why do they all have the same name?!
Merlon: I don’t know, but I can sense you’re tired of the joke so we’ll move on. Merlumina is Dimentio’s biological mother… in this story.
Luigi/Daisy/Vivian: WOAH!
Merlon: But it may also be the Queen… The Shadow Queen… Merlumina was Geno’s assistant before things happened. There were real bad things and I didn’t stop her. Good night.
Merlon goes back to sleep.
Luigi: …
Vivian: … Merlon?
Merlon: Zzzz… I pick the second door… Zzzzz…
Daisy: Let’s go…
They all try to leave, but-
Merlon’s voice: Wait!
They turn to see Merlon.
Merlon: I want revenge on Fawful. If I join you will that happen?
Luigi: I’m sure something will happen in one way or another.
Merlon: Cool.
Merlon joins the party! Outside, the four Mario Kart fans are waiting.
Wario: Who’s that?
Luigi: Long story and I don’t want to explain. But for now just accept that he’s the new party member. And he’s optional so now Bombette has company.
Bombette: Hooray!
Luigi, Daisy, and Merlon head to Mt. Toad. The rest follow but not in the current party.
RPG BATTLE!
Luigi: 500/500
Daisy: 490/490
Merlon: 490/490
Vs.
Boom Guy A: 90/90
Boom Guy B: 90/90
Mandibug: 100/100
Luigi uses Hammer
on Mandibug! 30 damage!
Daisy uses Hook
Punch on Boom Guy B! 40 damage!
Merlon: Hammers?
Punches? What cavemen…
Merlon pulls
out a gun!
Merlon shoots
Boom Guy A! 60 damage!
Luigi/Daisy:
YOU HAVE A GUN?!
Boom Guy A shoots
a Bullet Bill at Luigi! 45 damage!
Boom Guy B shoots
a Bullet Bill at Merlon! 45 damage!
Mandibug charges
at Luigi! 20 damage!
Luigi: 435/500
Daisy: 490/490
Merlon: 445/490
Vs.
Boom Guy A: 30/90
Boom Guy B: 50/90
Mandibug: 70/100
Luigi uses Hammer
on Mandibug! 30 damage!
Daisy uses Spartan
Kick on Mandibug! 20 damage!
Merlon shoots
Mandibug! Mandibug is defeated!
Boom Guy A shoots
a Bullet Bill at Daisy! 45 damage!
Boom Guy B shoots
a Bullet Bill at Merlon! 45 damage!
Luigi: 435/500
Daisy: 445/490
Merlon: 400/490
Vs.
Boom Guy A: 30/90
Boom Guy B: 50/90
Mandibug: 0/100
Luigi uses Mushroom
Drops! The party recovers 40 HP each!
Daisy uses Headbutt
on Boom Guy A! Boom Guy A is defeated!
Merlon charges
his Final Smash!
Boom Guy B shoots
a Bullet Bill at Merlon! 45 damage!
Luigi: 475/500
Daisy: 490/490
Merlon: 395/490
(Charging)
Vs.
Boom Guy A: 0/90
Boom Guy B: 50/90
Mandibug: 0/100
Luigi uses Jump
on Boom Guy A! 20 damage!
Daisy uses Ultra
Shroom on Merlon! He gains 40 HP!
Merlon unleashes
his Final Smash! Merlon uses Monster Morph Level 1! Merlon becomes a dragon
monster and beats up Boom Guy B! Boom Guy B is defeated!
Luigi, Daisy,
and Merlon win!
Luigi gains a
level! Daisy gains a level! Merlon gains 198 exp!
BATTLE OVER!
Luigi: … You have a gun?! What kind of story do you think this is?! Don’t you know what site this is on?!
Merlon: Relax, it shoots Bullet Bills like Mini Bill Blasters, it’s just that “gun” is easier to type and your reaction was priceless. What can I say? I’m a lead farmer. Besides, you should’ve expected it from the title of the chapter.
Daisy: Ignoring the Tropic Thunder reference, let’s move on…
They explore the rest of Mt. Toad, pass the old Garlic Plant (still no sign of Johnson’s dead father or Johnson’s mutated uncle), and find Big Bad Bugaboom in the cave (which explains the Mandibugs). After playing exterminator in an uneventful fight and passing the Garlic Fountain (which is still doing well), the gang finally make it past Mt. Toad.
Luigi: That wasn’t so hard.
P.T.: … What about the RV?
Everyone: …
Luigi: Ah shoot. Looks like we’ll be going without it for a while…
Everyone: …
Luigi: Ah shoot.