Mario: No, uh uh, no way, not a chance, I’m not helping Bowser stop the clown dude. I’ll take him solo!
Koopalings: Who is the big bad guy, for crying out loud?!
Mario: Do you think I should tell them in the lair of my sworn enemy?
Peach: Things are worse than ever! We have to tell them!
Mario: Bowser, how come you didn’t tell them?
Bowser: I’m no storyteller, I hate telling stories!
Roy: You’ll tell us or I’ll make you!
Mario: Fine, fine! I’ll tell you, but only once, so listen up. It all started as a normal day until Toad came screaming toward our house…
Mario tells the Koopalings what happened in Super Paper Mario and about Dimentio.
Later…
Mario: So that is why we must stop Dimentio, who will do anything to make his own perfect world.
Everyone except Mario, Peach, and Bowser: OOOOOOOOOOOH!
Peach: We will stay here until Dimentio is defeated.
Mario: I’m afraid there will be a time when we’ll be on our own, Princess. Now will you help us?
Bowser: Fine, but you owe me one. After this we go back to being enemies.
Mario: I knew you would say that, but if I smell a double-cross I’ll put you in a full body cast, Bowser!
Bowser: I’d kill you now if I wasn’t in a wheelchair and Dimentio wasn’t controlling the universe. Mario, you sleep in Lemmy’s room since he has a bunk bed. Princess, you can sleep in the room right across the hall from my bedroom. Oh, and dinner is in ten minutes.
Peach looks as if she is going to throw up. She runs into the bathroom and barfs.
Later that night at dinner, Clawdia hands the Koopalings, Bowser, Peach, and Mario each a plate of spaghetti. Mario examines his food closely. He is sitting next to Morton. Peach is sitting between Clawdia and Bowser. Morton gets up to go to the bathroom. When he’s gone Mario swaps his plate with Morton’s and starts eating. Bowser is too busy looking at Peach to notice.
Bowser: Well kids, what did you do today? Other than Ludwig, Larry, Lemmy, and Roy.
Wendy: I looked at the latest trends on Koopa fashion designers.
Clawdia: That’s great, dear.
Iggy: I watched World Poker on TV.
Bowser: You think you’re good enough to beat me?
Iggy sees all of Bowser’s Poker trophies. Morton returns from the bathroom and sits back down.
Iggy: Uh, maybe some other time.
Morton: I ate wedding cake and watched the wedding cake channel.
Larry: There’s a wedding cake channel?
Morton: Oh yeah, it’s all about wedding cake.
Bowser Jr: I made the Mona Lisa with my paintbrush. I call it the Koopa Lisa!
Bowser Jr. shows the picture of it. It looks like the Mona Lisa except Mona’s head has been replaced with Clawdia’s.
Clawdia: Aw, how nice. I’ll hang it on the refrigerator.
Karma tells about how she managed to successfully test one of Ludwig’s inventions. Larry sees Ludwig staring at Karma.
Larry: We all know who likes Karma the most, Ludwig.
Ludwig: I DO NOT LIKE HER!
Larry: We all know you do.
Ludwig: Do not!
Larry: Then why did you stop Dad from executing her?
Ludwig: We needed another girl in the family. Wendy was getting lonely.
Larry: Oh sure, you do like her.
Ludwig: Do not!
Larry: Do too!
They continue the “do too”, “do not” thing so loudly that no one sees or hears Morton pucker up, then start hacking, coughing, and gasping for air before falling to the ground unconscious, except for Mario, who drags him to his bed and walks back without anyone noticing.
Bowser: Knock it off!!!
Larry and Ludwig stop arguing.
Bowser: Bedtime, all of you, except Mario and the princess; they may go to sleep whenever they please.
Koopaling: AAAAAAAAWWWW, but-
Bowser: No buts, we have an important day tomorrow so get some sleep.
They all go to bed.
In Lemmy’s bedroom Lemmy, Iggy, Bowser Jr, Larry, and Wendy are talking.
Wendy: What are we going to do with Mario in our house? He’ll be watching out every move, and if he suspects a double-cross-
Iggy: He’ll beat us up.
Jr: We need to earn Mario’s trust for now and be nice to him, even if he is Dad’s number one enemy.
Larry: I’ll spy on him for a few days to make sure he does nothing wrong.
Lemmy: After this is over we can go back to ambushing and hating him, but for now let’s rest and be his friend even if he is our sworn enemy.
Meanwhile in the throne room…
Bowser: Roy!
Roy: Y-y-y yes, D-D-D-Dad?
Bowser: Did you try to poison Mario?
Roy: Um…
Bowser: Answer me!
Roy: Y-y-yes.
Bowser: Remember when I said hurt Mario no matter what? Well I lied. Sometimes I have to team up with Mario, and I don’t try to hurt or kill him during that time. I just joke around with him. So don’t double-cross Mario while on his side, even though he’s your sworn enemy. Because, um…
Bowser has a flashback to Super Mario RPG.
Bowser: That’s it! I’ve had it with teaming up with you, Mario! I’m going to smash you!
Mario: You made a mistake double-crossing me.
Mallow: I’ll sit this one out.
Geno: Me too.
Mario throws Bowser into a wall and smashes him.
Bowser: OWW… On second thought, I’ll stick with you.
Mario: That’s better.
Flashback over.
Bowser has another flashback, to Super Paper Mario….
Bowser: I want my army back now! I might consider joining you, Bleck.
Count Bleck: Count Bleck doesn’t know if you are trustworthy.
Mario: Trust me, he’s not.
Bowser: You know what? I’ll just get a new army. I want Mario’s head on my wall!
Peach: A little too far.
Luigi: He needs anger management classes.
Bowser charges at Mario, as Count Bleck gives Bowser a weird look.
Mario: Have it your way.
Mario steps away and Bowser hits a wall and Mario smashes him again.
Bowser: So much for double-crossing Mario. Though it was fun, except-
Count Bleck: This flashback is way too long! Back to the story!
Flashback over…
Bowser: Did you see those flashbacks, Roy?
Roy: Yeah, the author showed me a film of them.
Bowser: Whatever, now go to bed!
Roy heads to bed.
The next day…
Bowser: Attention everybody! Mario, Princess Peach, and I are going to find a way to stop Dimentio from taking over the universe. It won’t be long until Dimentio’s army finds us here. I will send you all to my castle in the Bitlands until further notice. Also I got my cast off, so I can fight again. That is all so, goodbye.
They all pack their stuff and head through the pipe to the Bitlands. After everyone has left Bowser destroys the pipe to keep Dimentio from finding Bowser’s secret base. Mario, Peach, and Bowser walk into Dark Land.
Peach: I think we should find Merlon since he helped us solve a similar crisis. He should still be in Flipside.
Bowser: Great, the old man again!
Mario: Just shut up.
Mario flips Peach, Bowser, and then himself to Flipside.
Bowser: Wow! It doesn’t look as ugly as last time.
They walk to Merlon’s house to find him watching Family Guy. Merlon looks at them and changes the channel to Spongebob.
Merlon: What do you three want?
Mario, Peach, and Bowser tell him what has previously happened in this story.
Merlon: The clown is back? He wants to takeover the universe, maybe even destroy it.
Mario: He is too powerful! He has an infinite army with him.
Peach: Innocent lives will be lost. We must stop him quickly.
Bowser: I have an idea! Stop him from making more clones!
Merlon: Good thinking, fat one.
Bowser: What did you call me?
Merlon: Nothing, nothing. Now the place where Dimentio makes his clones is the place where Mario first encountered him. The native species there has knowledge of cloning. But it’s well guarded, so it won’t be easy to break into. Stopping his clone production should weaken his army, but he still would be too powerful to face. Come back here when you’ve halted the clone production.
Peach: How do we get there?
Merlon: Uh, I don’t know. The door to Lineland is still there.
Mario: Here we go again!