The Dark Prognosticus Sub-Chapter B: The Birth of Dark Doc

By Dimentio


Dark Doc: Next!

Toad: No! Anything else! I’d rather be stuck in a room with Junior!

Toad gets dragged into the doctor’s room. The waiting room is filled with patients shaking, nervous, or trying to run away. We see one of the patients is Dimentio.

Dimentio: I hate the flu season like a child having a ton of homework. Hello there. You waiting for necessary torture too?


Dark Doc: Don’t worry. This won’t hurt me a bit! Ah ha ha!

The patients hear horrible screaming from Toad. Toad falls through the door.

Dark Doc: Next!

Koopalings: No! We’d rather be in the dungeon without any food!

Bowser: It’s for your own good!

Bowser drags all of his kids into the Doc’s room.

Dimentio: Oh, you want to hear a story? Well I’m kind of busy waiting for my turn…

Dark Doc: Ah, so you brought your kids today, eh King Koopa?

Bowser: Yeah, they need their shots.

Dark Doc: Speaking of which, according to my notes you still need to get that tailitis shot.

Bowser: Wh-what?!

Dark Doc: Get back here! Viruses, cancel my next appointments.

Blue Virus: You got it, Boss.

Dimentio: Well it seems I have some free time now, like a child after cleaning their room. Since Dark Doc is going after Bowser at the time, why don’t I tell you the story of Dark Doc?

Dimentio snaps his fingers and of course the Dark Prognosticus appears.

Dimentio: This is the story of how Dr. Mario made his greatest and most hated invention: Dark Doc.

Dimentio flips to the right page and begins to read…

Chapter 1: Dr. Mario’s Dilemma

Mario: Is that right, Heft T? Okay, call me back. Oh, Minh T? Yes, well I’ll have that prescription for you soon. Oh Steven, c-can I call you back? Yes Toad, that remedy will work. Look, I have another call. I don’t know, Luigi! Just make anything, I’m busy! Ah yes, Mr. Harper. Yes, your appointment has been moved to 5:00 PM. You want to reschedule? Look, call me back.

Peach: Dr. Mario, you have to relax soon.

Dr. Mario: I have no time, Peach, now send in my next appointment.

Nurse Peach: Right away, sir.

Dr. Mario: What’s wrong, Merlon?

Merlon: I have this rash.

Dr. Mario: What did I say?! Make sure that robe of yours gets washed thoroughly!

Merlon: Oh, right.

Dr. Mario: Next patient!

Nurse Peach: Oh dear…

Dr. Mario: What is IT?!

He sees the entire waiting room is filled with patients with the cold.

Dr. Mario: Don’t you guys have other doctors?!

Toad: Dr. Wario got fired for not going to medical school.

Dr. Mario: Mamamia…

Hours later…

Mario is asleep in his office. Peach comes in and gently wakes him up.

Nurse Peach: Shouldn’t you head home?

Dr. Mario: Shouldn’t you?

Nurse Peach: I was just about to. I just wanted some company.

Dr. Mario: I can’t. I have some paperwork to do on some of the patients’ files.

Nurse Peach: This is ridiculous. You are killing yourself with all this work.

Dr. Mario: What choice do I have? I am, for some reason, the only licensed doctor around here.

Nurse Peach: The reason is because you found the cure for the common cold.

Dr. Mario: Well it’s my responsibility to make sure these fair folk are healthy. However, they’re all getting sick very quickly.

Nurse Peach: That is true. This Virus Front is worse then the Influenza Crisis.

Dr. Mario: I still don’t get how those Mushroomers could’ve gotten sick with that.

Nurse Peach: Well it doesn’t matter. You’re our medical hero, and you should really take a break from all this work.

Dr. Mario: Well I’ll just finish these notes and I’ll head off.

Nurse Peach: All right. Goodnight, my overworked hero.

Peach gives Mario a kiss on the cheek and heads out the door.

Dr. Mario: *sigh* Maybe Peach is right. I am killing myself over all this. I guess I just need help, but…Who can help me? Who can I trust to have the medical expertise that I possess? If there were more doctors then I wouldn’t have as much work. Hmm, Luigi doesn’t won’t to be a doctor after the Needle Incident…

Dr. Mario is shifting through his notes when he finds some notes on his stem cell research.

Dr. Mario: Well this won’t be really important here…

He quickly shifts around some more notes and finds another piece of paper.

Dr. Mario: Hmm, this could work…

Chapter 2: V.M.H.

Nurse Peach comes in early the next morning. She sees Dr. Mario in his lab.

Nurse Peach: Did you stay here all night?

Dr. Mario: Yes.


Dr. Mario: OW!

Nurse Peach: I told you not to work your butt off!

Dr. Mario: I’m sorry, dear. It’s just that I found a way so I won’t have to work as much… or even not work at all!

Nurse Peach: What?

Dr. Mario: The reason I’m overworked is because, as the only doctor in the MK, I’m stuck with all the patients.

Nurse Peach: Yeah, I know.

Dr. Mario: But what if there was more than one doctor? I would have fewer patients so I could relax more.

Nurse Peach: Where will you find another doctor?

Dr. Mario: I won’t have to find another doctor. I will make another doctor.

Nurse Peach: What are you saying?!

Dr. Mario: While I was looking over my stem cell research paper notes I thought “People in the Real World are using these cells to make clones of entire organs.” What if I make a clone of myself?

Nurse Peach: Wouldn’t that be dangerous?

Dr. Mario: Well yeah.

Nurse Peach: Well I won’t let you go through with this. Besides, you have only a few stem cells. Where are you going to get enough to make another you?

Dr. Mario: That’s the problem.

Nurse Peach: There. You can’t make a clone of yourself.

Dr. Mario: So I moved on to the next best thing: Viruses.

Nurse Peach: WHAT?!

Dr. Mario: Now ordinarily, Real World viruses aren’t living. However, MK viruses are! Don’t you see? V.M.H.

Nurse Peach: V.M.H.?

Dr. Mario: Virus Made Humanoid. I can make a clone of me out of viruses! They divide rapidly and can make a clone of me in no time.

Nurse Peach: I’m not so sure. If it’s a living thing won’t it have emotions and thoughts? I mean, what will it think when you tell it that the rest of its life will be spent curing ailing Toads?

Dr. Mario: I have that covered. Trust me. I’m positive nothing bad will go down.

Nurse Peach: I’m still not so sure…

Dr. Mario: I isolated my Dr. gene. So when he is made he will know his purpose is to help cure Toads and such. He won’t have anything else to live for! That way I’ll have less work so I can focus on other things.

Nurse Peach: *sigh* Well I just think making another clone of yourself is…selfish. It’s like its existence is meaningless.

Dr. Mario: I know this sounds wrong, Peach, but… I don’t know what else to do. What if you get kidnapped while I have a major Virus crisis? Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to work on the machine.

Nurse Peach: Machine?

Dr. Mario: Well in order to make this clone I am making a cloning machine.

Nurse Peach: Okay, I’ll take care of your patients.

Dr. Mario: Thanks, Peach.

Mario goes for a kiss but Peach just walks away.

Dr. Mario: *sigh* I know what I’m doing.

At 10:00 PM…

Nurse Peach: Dr. Mario, aren’t you leaving?

Dr. Mario: How can I leave when I am about to conduct my experiment?

Dr. Mario stands in front of his machine. Nurse Peach slowly walks up to Dr. Mario.

Nurse Peach: Are you sure this will work?

Dr. Mario: Of course. Now to commence!

Dr. Mario places his DNA in a slot of the machine. He then takes out a container containing a black virus.

Nurse Peach: What is that?!

Dr. Mario: It’s the Death Virus. If this experiment fails then this deadly virus will be destroyed.

Nurse Peach: And if the experiment is successful?

Dr. Mario: It won’t make much of a difference. Now…

He opens up a capsule in the machine. He carefully drops the virus in the capsule.

Dr. Mario: Now… Commence cloning!

Dr. Mario pushes a button and the machine starts to work. The virus gets zapped with blue electricity, and starts to multiply. The DNA slot starts to glow.

Dr. Mario: Yes, it’s working!

Completion until V.M.H, 10%

Nurse Peach: I hope this does work.

Completion until V.M.H, 20%

Dr. Mario: Its speed is faster than I thought. This is great!

Completion until V.M.H, 30%

Dr. Mario: Looks like I won’t have to wait ‘til morning for this clone to be done.

Completion until V.M.H, 40%

Nurse Peach: Is the virus supposed to be changing colors like that?

Dr. Mario: What?!

The capsule that the virus is in starts to glow red. The DANGER sign starts to glow rapidly.

Dr. Mario: What’s going on here?!

Completion until V.M.H, 60%

Dr. Mario starts pushing some buttons. He tries to get the machine under control. It starts to shake. The DNA slot flies out.

Dr. Mario: No!

Completion until V.M.H, 80%

Dr. Mario: This is getting too risky! Must push emergency cancel!

Dr. Mario opens up a switch and pushes the button.

Computer: Cannot cancel. Progress too far. Completion until V.M.H, 90%

Dr. Mario: Ergh! Then I’ll shut it off manually!

Dr. Mario goes behind his desk and finds his sledgehammer.

Dr. Mario: Quick! Peach, get behind my desk!

Nurse Peach quickly ducks behind Dr. Mario’s desk. Dr. Mario starts hammering his machine in an attempt to stop his machine.

Completion until V.M.H, 100%. WARNING! DAMAGE HIGH! PRESURE HIGH!

Dr. Mario keeps hammering but…


Dr. Mario hits the wall from the explosion. Nurse Peach goes to help him up.

Nurse Peach: Are you okay?

Dr. Mario: Yeah, I’m all right. I was so sure that my calculations would be correct-

Nurse Peach: Dr. Mario…Look…

Mario sees the machine spewing out a lot of white smoke. Inside the capsule they see a silhouette of Dr. Mario…

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.