The Ultimate Koopa

By Slike373

Chapter 7: Quick crazy crumble

As the Koopas uncontrollably rose into the air without Mario as a prisoner, Mario collected his money that the smashed Chet Rippo had dropped. He heard the descent of the airship, then noticed the lack of people at the party.

“Aww, lasagna! I flipped the smart side of my coin, I can’t mess up this badly!” he complained. The red man’s face darted about the room. If an airship was coming back for him, he had to be ready to fight, or fast. Once the airship gave its thud, Mario snatched Chet Rippo’s pancake of a body off of the floor, then rushed to the next floor.

As the scarlet plumber dashed around the second floor in the incorrect direction for the stairs, the ground beneath him began to fall. Roydwig must have been messing around in the floor below. The plumber stumbled but wasn’t stuck. He made gallant leaps to avoid falling into the dangerous debris. Finally, he was at the top floor. Mario dashed up to the clock, took a turn, and scampered towards a ledge. He backflipped over it, then walked calmly into a hole in the ground.

Chapter 8: Kick and Con Artists

Mario hung over a cloud with Chet Rippo as a parachute over him. Mario swerved, and landed in front of Peach’s Castle. He dived into the water. Bad move. Wendy heard the splash. When she turned her head, Roydwig noticed, and turned as well.

The water helped Chet to inflate again. “How did I get involved in this?!” the mysterious duck hissed. Mario clamped his bill shut, then placed a finger over his nostrils. Chet raised his wings, then the two of them turned invisible. Roydwig went up to the water soon after.

“Wendy, you’re the best swimmer, inspect it.”

“You’re the one who can-” Wendy was interrupted when her older brothers’ right hand slapped her into the water. Knockout.

Bowser looked displeased. “We can’t see anything, and there’s nothing to hide behind. Let’s head into the ship again before we do anything else,” he said, glaring at Roydwig, but without making eye contact. Bowser knew well enough to make sure it couldn’t be seen. Iggy would tattle, Morton would spill the beans, and Roydwig would mutilate him thoroughly.

Mario breathed deeply. “Why did you help me?” he said. Chet sighed.

“I helped me. If they swatted at you, they might have hit me, making them notice me, too. Then both of us get killed. I’m leaving,” he muttered, when Mario grabbed the duck’s wing.

“Please,” he said. “Help me save everyone.”

Chapter 9: GET IN MAH BELLEH. Good, now try to get out.

Toad couldn’t believe his ears. “I’m not staying here for the next…”

The Shy Guy shook his head. “Sorry! Regulations!”

“Why are you such an expert on this?”

“Five months.”

“And you’ve never plotted escape?”

With that, the orange Shy Guy stared at Toad. “It’s not possible.” he said. “There are only three ways to exit a pocket dimension. You either have to kill the lord of said pocket dimension, who I must say is a magical demon, not the Yoshi, and he is in a big, scary castle. Or you can destroy the ‘host’ of the area, which would be the Yoshi. The other alternative is the random special thing, which in our case is waiting.”

Toad looked around the swirling pool of eerie colors. “Okay, where’s the big, scary castle?” Toad replied.

Every Shy Guy in the line turned around and stared. Ironically, this includes the Shy Guy who was already facing Toad. Every Shy Guy pointed to the right, including the one that still wasn’t facing Toad. Toad grabbed the orange Shy Guy, thinking he’d need a partner for his quest, then dashed toward the obligatory evil castle of doom.

New chapter!!!

Yeah, not really. Toad took his pickaxe, then knocked on the door of the castle with great force. The orange Shy Guy paced around as Toad hit the door. Suddenly, there was a ding. The mushroom person looked at his hooded friend, who had found a doorbell. The door mysteriously opened, revealing a linear hallway.  The Shy Guy looked in. “Yeesh, that’ll take a while to go through. Let’s distract everyone with a subchapter!”

No.

“How about  you just go to chapter ten then?”

How about an extremely mental chapter -1?

“No, thanks,” Toad complained wildy. He applied his palm directly to his forehead.

Chapter 10: Duo Duel

Mario was standing on a bridge with Chet Rippo. “Why can’t you let me help my friends?!” he persisted, slapping the Shaman on the bill. Chet retaliated by lowering Mario’s BP and HP, while increasing FP. Mario’s podiatrist’s license fell off.

“I have money to make!” roared Chet. Mario hit him in his pudgy stomach.

“Yeah, well those are your customers that just got kidnapped!”

“I’ll find more!” whined Chet, scrambling away from the plumber who was smashing him around. He prepared a spell, but Mario pulled out his Quake Hammer technique. The  bridge they stood on toppled, and they both landed in the water. Mario took out a Volt Shroom and ate it. Chet was zapped out of the water. Mario gave him an amplified punch once he was out as well. The brawl became a flurry of sissy slaps. Mario struck Chet’s bill, when… Aww, you don’t care about that.

“Quit attacking me, or I’ll call the police, you fat Italian plumber!” Rippo croaked. He toppled into Mario, then got shocked. Mario scoffed.

“Help me out here, or I’ll call the police and tell them about your scams!” replied Mario. Chet sighed, then sat down.

“Fine,” he said. “On one condition.”

Chapter 11: Interference of the Inferior Inferno

The airship had still not docked at Bowser‘s Castle. Iggy walked into Roydwig’s room.

“Hey, Brother. Do you need anything?”

“Nothing, thanks,” replied the beast standing in the room. Iggy didn’t even hear, as he was staring at Lemmy’s unconscious body on the ground. He redirected his gaze toward Roydwig.

“All right, then,” he said.  He took a few steps back, then ran at his best speed over to his room. He moaned. “I can’t believe Lemmy is down.  That’s… the last straw. I can’t fake this anymore. Nothing is the same anymore. Nothing is right. I was planning that… I just can’t keep up with this. I’ll go into that room and… Ugh. I’ll die if I try that. A coma if I’m lucky. This is the only way for me to stay alive. Bowser’s got it, too. Morton may seem stupid, but with all the words he knows, anyone could tell he was actually well-learned. However, he still lacks common sense…”

Morton was in his room as well. It was next to Roydwig’s, and he knew that if he spoke in his loud voice, he’d trigger the wrath of his brother. It would be a disaster for the brown Koopa. He couldn’t come up with a word for the moment. It was awful, no, even worse. “THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE QUAGMIRE!”

With that, there was a roar. Morton crawled into his shell.

Chapter 12: Toad with no tongue

Toad and his Shy Guy cohort stood at the door to the monster’s lair. This one was unlocked and could easily be opened. It lacked a doorbell anyways. Within the room was a wide arena that probably couldn’t even fit in the castle. Bouncing around inside was a giant wad of cotton candy.

“Cloud N. Candy!” laughed Toad. His Shy Guy friend looked around, then got the hint, and started laughing, too. Cloud N. Candy just bounced there, until he suddenly gave out a breath of flames as  his feet suddenly caused quakes in the ground with their steps. Toad dropped his jaw, and grabbed the orange Shy Guy, who was busy laughing.

“You can’t eat me! I’m far too delicious! Eee hee!” it cheered. Toad took out his pickaxe, then bravely hacked at Cloud N. Candy. His pickaxe was sucked inside, and he staggered back. The giant wad of candy charged fire, when the Shy Guy twirled in, kicking the fire away. Toad didn’t ask any questions. Shy Guys could do anything as a hobby. Podoboo soccer could very well be one of them.

“Hey, cloud guy! You’re not allowed to breathe fire at my friend!” shouted the orange Shy Guy. A giant foot came over him, but he sidestepped, then cartwheeled in midair onto Cloud N. Candy. He did a forceful ground pound,  piercing a hole through the candy. From Toad’s point of view, the Shy Guy became apparently stuck.

Dodging small embers from the monster, Toad hopped onto Cloud N. Candy, then climbed as quickly as he could. Some pieces of candy fell off. The Mushroom looked into the hole made by his friend. The Shy Guy was jumping up and down on top of a transparent sack filled with fire. Toad ground pounded the sack. Cloud N. Candy gave out a huge burst of fire, then hopped around as its own fire was sprayed out.

“So, it’s not the actual monster?” asked Toad. The Shy Guy shook his head.

“This guy is just trying to trick us. Watch.” He spun around WITH GREAT FORCE and cleared off the cotton candy, revealing the Czar Dragon.

“How do you know so much?” asked Toad. The Shy Guy shrugged, then back-flipped off the dragon. Toad found his pickaxe lodged in the dragon’s side, and pulled it out. He smashed it into the monster’s skull, then dashed away as well.

“SWEET AND DELICIOUS. HAHA, TASTE THE SPICE, BUDDIE!” cackled the Dragon. The orange Shy Guy did a back-flip all of a sudden, smacking the Dragon’s jaw. With unbelievable agility, he hopped onto the Dragon’s back, rocketed up, grabbed Toad’s pickaxe, and smashed the body thoroughly. The dragon gave out fire to its closed jaw, then instantly incinerated completely.

Toad stared.  “How did you… No, who are… What’s going to happen to the Yoshi?” he asked. The Shy Guy shrugged.

“I think he’ll turn into a pickle when we escape,” he retorted. Toad raised an eyebrow as everything around him faded. The Shy Guy smiled. “Yay! We’re… in Bowser’s castle?”

Toad frowned and looked at the cell around him.

Chapter 12: Side Kicked

Mario and Chet had teleported to Bowser’s Castle after discussing Chet’s one condition. The soldiers had recently gotten back with the prisoners . He was going to save them, and that was that. He saw a map on a wall. There were four conveniently color-coded jail cells, and four conveniently color-coded dots on random parts of the map.

“Those are the guys with the keys. I know Bowser’s troops that well,” Mario said to his sidekick. Chet nodded and tore the map right off the wall. Mario frowned. “Gee, I never thought of that.”

After a few turns, they ran into a Koopatrol. Chet lowered its HP and BP by five, while raising its FP. Mario tore through the remainder of the Koopatrol’s health with his hammer. The process continued, except Mario started making it look cooler every time he did it, though that’s not the point. The fourth guard, however, was not where the map said he would be.

“Mario, the other guard isn’t here.”

“He isn’t?” Mario said, peering at the map. “Two right turns from the green dot, a left turn, and… Mamamia!” he sounded. Chet Rippo suddenly took away Mario’s BP and HP, making his FP higher. Mario’s Quake Hammer fell off, and Chet Rippo snatched it. He smacked Mario clear on the head, knocking him out.

“My mistake. The guard just got back from something.”

Read on!


 
Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.