Wario: Last time on Wario's Apprentice,
I put the final four to the task of making people subscribe to my cell
phone company. In a big twist, they got 10 times the needed number of subscribers.
Bandit was given a free pass to the finals, and since Geno was lazy, he
was fired. Then there were three: one finalist, and two fighting for the
final spot. Who will get it? Who has actually learned? Who will be my apprentice?
And who is the mole? ... Who is the mole? What is that supposed to mean?!
Cue Card Guy: Oops Sorry.
The Cue Card Guy gets out the right
card.
Wario: And who will get fired before
the finals?
The Apartment, 8:00 AM
Biff Atlas is working out, Lakitu,
and Petey are working on their monster, and Bandit is searching the house
for spare coins. It's another average day in the apartment. Until the phone
rings. Bandit grabs it since he is closest.
Bandit: Hello?
Wario: Yes, it's time for the semi-final
task. I want to see all four of your butts in my office right now!
Bandit: Gotcha, goodbye.
Bandit hangs up. Biff Atlas, Lakitu,
and Petey appear in the corridor.
Bandit: It's time.
Biff Atlas, Lakitu, and Petey nod as
they walk out of their apartment and into their maybe future boss' building.
They enter his office and sit down. Wario and Mona soon enter.
Wario: Right, so it's down to three.
As you know, the final two tasks are the hardest, and you need to get them
done RIGHT!
The remaining 3 and Petey nod.
Wario: Bandit, you have immunity, but
I suggest you actually work this episode. Lakitu, Biff Atlas, you have
to REALLY impress me today, or you guys are finally going to hear the words
"You're Fired". So I bet you’re dieing to know what the semi-final task
is...
The remaining 3 and Petey nod.
Wario: It's a big one, all three of
you are going to design a product-
Biff Atlas: NO! I can't take it! I
can't stand seeing that stupid British turtle again!
Wario: Shut up and let me finish! Besides,
Kolorado's dead.
Biff Atlas: Huh? (Yippee!)
Wario: The police found him dead at
his computer. They say he committed suicide, but there was no note or cause.
A very strange case. Anyway, you guys will go to your three private workshops
and design a product on your own. You design it all by yourself, you make
it cool by yourself, and you make a commercial advertising the product.
All! By! Your! Self! This is basically taking the past two weeks and using
what you have learned from them. You have ‘til 1:30 to make the products,
you can't leave the room until you have finished the product, then you
will go to the recording studio, and when you finish with your commercial
you will head back and stay in your office working on editing the commercial
and making a speech. At 1:30 you will show your products, then I will happily
fire someone. Your workshops are all one floor below this office. Now get
going!
Biff Atlas and Bandit run into their
offices, while Lakitu runs into his but slams the door in Petey's face.
Petey tries to open the door, but can't due to his hands being leaves.
Petey: Uh, Master, a little assistance?
Lakitu: Sorry Petey, but this time,
I have to work alone. Wario told me not to let you help me. Now stay out
in the hall and do something fun. I have work to do.
Petey: ... *sniff* ... Yes, Master.
Petey sits outside the office door,
deciding to wait the whole 5 and a half hours for his master to come out.
With Bandit, 8:00 AM:
Bandit: All right, I'm safe this round,
but I should still think up something to please Wario.
Bandit begins to sit down in a chair
and think.
Bandit: Hmm, no, hurrmm, uh-uh, umm,
definitely not... uh-huh... yeah, that could work.
Bandit pulls out his invisibility cloak.
Bandit: Before you people start complaining
about inconsistency, I'll have you know I've been using this thing off-camera
in some parts that nobody cares about. Watch.
Bandit shows clips of him putting it
on to steal from Bowser's Castle in episode 3, he also shows a clip of
him putting it on the to steal the paint from the girly makeup store, another
scene shows him putting it on to steal all the advertising posters at the
airport, yet another clip shows him stealing 5,000 coins from WarioWare,
then Bandit shows another of him putting-
Cameraman: All right, we get it! You've
been using that all the time!
Bandit: Just trying to explain things
to the audience.
Bandit puts on the invisibility cloak;
the door to his office opens and closes.
With Biff Atlas, 8:00 AM:
Biff Atlas: I knew we were going to
do this task! I had this come to me in a dream! All I need is the supplies!
Biff Atlas takes the box of everything
Wario included in their offices. He soon takes out paint, a small rectangular
cardboard box, some sugar, an Easy Bake Oven, and some lug-nuts.
Biff Atlas: Yes, this is just what
I need.
Biff Atlas begins to paint on the box.
With Lakitu, 8:00 AM:
Lakitu: All right, need to think of
something amusing, fun, new, and that can help shape the stereotypical
future we all want. But what?
Lakitu starts floating around in circles,
thinking. A few minutes later he stops.
Lakitu: I'm an idiot. Why didn't I
just think of this?
Lakitu looks into a full-sized mirror,
seeing himself and the cameraman.
Lakitu: In the stereotypical future,
we want flying transportation, right? Then why not start with clouds?
Lakitu jumps out of his cloud.
Lakitu: Now all I need to do is put
it in packaging and make a commercial.
With Bandit, 9:00 AM:
Bandit's door opens and closes again.
Bandit takes off his invisibility cloak. He's holding some gadgets.
Bandit: I'm going to make myself a
microgame. Wario will be so impressed by how well I do, but first I must
get to work.
Bandit starts to sort out his gadgets.
Bandit: I'll start with the background...
I'll make it white and checkered.
Bandit takes out a data safe (the thing
that holds all the data of a game before you put it in a WarioWare case),
turns it on, chooses the paint option, and starts to paint the background
checkered and white.
Bandit: That was simple, next I'll
need music. Something adventurous... I got it!
Bandit puts on his invisibility cloak
again. The door opens and closes.
With Biff Atlas, 9:00 AM:
Biff Atlas is done painting the box.
He makes it look like a cereal box.
Biff Atlas: This will be award-winning
cereal, "Biff Atlas's Frosted Lug-nuts"!
Biff Atlas shows the cover. The cover
is dark blue with a picture of him posing and a milky bowl of shiny Lug-nuts.
Biff Atlas: Next step to make this
is easy. All I have to do is cover these lug-nuts with sugar.
Biff Atlas does.
Biff Atlas: Then put them in the oven
Biff Atlas puts the sugared lug-nuts
in the Easy Bake Oven.
Biff Atlas: Now we need to wait a few
hours.
With Lakitu, 9:00 AM:
Lakitu is seen stuffing his cloud in
a cardboard box.
Lakitu: Good, now to make it look nice.
Lakitu takes out paint and starts to
paint the box.
Lakitu: I need some catchy name...
"Lakitu's Clouds of Heaven?" No... How about "Lakitu"... Yeah, that works.
I mean, that's what car companies do all the time.
Lakitu writes his company name on the
box and continues painting.
With Bandit, 10:00 AM:
Bandit returns, again becoming visible.
Bandit: What a world we live in, you
can't even steal a stupid Requiem For A Dream CD without having the cops
come out and swipe your invisibility cloak while you're running away from
them because you forgot about the price tag alarms.
Bandit takes out the CD and places
it into the data safe soundtrack slot.
Bandit: Good, I got it in. Next I have
to make characters and obstacles. I'll make them stick figures fighting
red squares.
Bandit draws a stick figure of Wario
and draws red tanks and bullets.
Bandit: And now for the AI... this
will take a while.
With Lakitu, 10:00 AM:
Lakitu finishes painting his box.
Lakitu: There. Now for the commercial.
Lakitu walks out of his office.
Petey: MASTER!
Lakitu: Uh oh.
Lakitu runs away as Petey gives chase.
Lakitu: I told you, Petey! I don't
want your help!
Petey: But Master! All I ever want
to do is help you!
Lakitu: Petey! No!
Petey: You saved my life!
Lakitu: (grumbling) I'm starting to
wish I hadn't.
Lakitu runs all around Diamond City,
trying to get Petey off his tail. Petey soon tires and Lakitu runs into
the recording studio to make his commercial.
With Bandit, 11:00 AM:
Bandit: Okay, got everything down.
Stick figure Wario is in a war with a red army in which he destroys lots
of tanks that are trying to destroy him. Now to get this published.
Bandit walks out of his office and
to the recording studio, in which he finds Petey waiting outside the door.
He tries to open it, but can't.
Bandit: What the?
Bandit looks up and sees a red neon
bar saying "Commercial in progress". Bandit then notices a small Post-it
note next to the door.
Note: Only one person can make a commercial
at a time, so if you're reading this and you're locked out, then you spent
too much time working on your product and someone else got here first.
~Wario
Bandit: DARN!
Petey: I agree. My master won't let
me help him do anything.
Bandit observes the building from all
sides and notices a second floor window is open in the back of the building.
Bandit: Well, I would usually just
try to sneak in by saying I'll pay Petey to help get through that open
window. But seeing that I have immunity, I think I won't take that chance,
and just wait out here.
Bandit takes out some playing cards
and starts playing Go Fish with Petey.
With Lakitu, 11:00 AM:
Lakitu: All right, I see we have the
cast.
Some Koopas wave to the camera. One
pulls out a “Hi Dad" sign.
Lakitu: We got the props, we got the
lights, we got the set-
Lakitu sees that the set is the same
since the commercial episode.
Lakitu: Dang it! Now how am I supposed
to use this?
Cameraman: I don't know, it's your
product.
Lakitu starts to pace around, but as
this doesn’t help he sits down and starts to think. A few minutes later
he gets an idea and begins writing the script.
Lakitu: This is genius!
Lakitu hands the script to the Koopas
along with their costumes and props. He also digs a grave open, finding
an actual coffin inside it.
Lakitu: What the?
Lakitu opens it and a Dry Bones covered
in old pieces of paper gets out and yawns.
Lakitu: What the?
Dry Bones: *yawn*... *smack, smack*
What's today's date?
Lakitu: August 24th, 2010.
The Dry Bones's lower jaw falls off
his face. He picks it back up.
Dry Bones: Dang! Then I've been asleep
for over 78 years!
Lakitu: Why were you even in that coffin?
Dry Bones: I was auditioning for the
role of the main villain in "The Mummy"! I must've fallen asleep while
rehearsing my audition.
Lakitu: Dang, that must be bad luck
for you then.
Dry Bones: Oh well, might as well call
a cab over.
The Dry Bones pulls out an enormous
cell phone and starts to dial a number.
Lakitu: ... Uh...
Dry Bones: What do you mean your taxi
company no longer exists?!... Hold on, you're breaking up, I'm inside a
building... at some graveyard... What do you mean am I talking through
an old-fashioned phone? This is the height of cellular technology! I have
to go now, I've probably cost myself a million coins with this call...
Thanks for nothing!
Lakitu: I think you're going to need
to take some time to get used to Diamond City 2010.
Dry Bones: What's Diamond City?
Lakitu: It's where you are now.
Dry Bones: Ever since the stock market
crashed, I've lived in Tin City.
Lakitu: Uh... yeah... That was fixed
about 7 years after you went to sleep... Can somebody... I’ve got an idea...
Bring in Petey, please.
Petey comes running in.
Petey: Yes, Master?
Dry Bones: Oh no! Don't tell me slavery
is legal again.
Lakitu: No, he's a servant. Petey,
please take this man outside and show what the world looks like to someone
whose latest update was when the stock market crashed.
Petey: Yes, Master.
Petey grabs the Dry Bones and runs
him outside to give him a tour.
Koopa Cast Member: Excuse me, Mr. Director...
We're ready now.
Lakitu: Huh? Oh, right. Quite. Places,
everyone... Action!
Koopas dressed in black are crying
around an open grave while a Koopa minister says some mumbo jumbo. Then
the camera goes to the sky, where Koopa angels are flying around on Lakitu
clouds and playing harps. Then a rubber hand of DAD pops out holding Lakitu's
box.
DAD: Lakitu clouds, buy them.
Lakitu: Cut! That's a wrap!
Lakitu is given a roll of film.
Lakitu: All I need to do is edit this
and prepare a speech. Ok, see ya, guys.
Lakitu opens the door to the studio,
Bandit walks in and Lakitu walks back to WarioWare.
With Bandit, Noon:
Bandit: Dang it! How am I supposed
to sell my product with a background like this?!
Director: Improvise, that's what Lakitu
did.
Bandit: Hmmm.
Bandit sits down on a grave, however
it's the grave that Lakitu opened, so he falls in.
Bandit: Ouch. That hurt... hmmmm...
Hey guys! We have any caskets laying around?
Director: Uh, yeah.
Bandit: Throw one in, then.
The Koopa cast throw the coffin in,
however Bandit is still in the hole so he gets squished. After a while
he manages to squeeze out.
Bandit: Next time, throw it in, when
I'm not in the grave!
Koopa: Oops. Sorry.
Bandit: Listen! I want someone to tie
strings to that casket and pull it when the camera's ready. Now... action!
The camera focuses on the casket, which
opens up to reveal that nothing is in it.
Bandit: Cut! That's good. Now we need
a tank to fire and explode! Someone get rid of these headstones.
The Koopa cast quickly remove them
as another member drives a tank through the wall.
Koopa: We have to hurry, Lord Ludwig
wants this back in five minutes.
Bandit: All right, all cameras surrounding
the tank! Get that giant hole out of all backgrounds!
The cameras surround the tank, getting
all kind of camera shots!
Bandit: Action!
The tank fires a Bullet Bill, then
a Koopa on the inside presses the “self-destruct" button to make the tank
explode.
Koopa: Oh my DAD! Lord Ludwig is going
to have a fit when he sees this!
Bandit: Your problem, not mine.
Bandit takes his two rolls of film
and heads back to WarioWare.
With Biff Atlas, Noon:
Biff Atlas takes his now-edible Frosted
Lug-nuts out of the Easy Bake Oven
Biff Atlas: Kids, please don't try
this at home. Don't try to cook lug nuts in an Easy Bake Oven. A real oven
is much quicker.
Biff Atlas pours the Frosted Lug Nuts
into the bag, which goes into the box.
Biff Atlas: And now for the commercial.
Biff Atlas heads down and floats into
the studio.
Biff Atlas: Awesome! A graveyard setting!
Somebody plug up that hole and put in some headstones!
The Koopa cast put back the headstones
and a Koopa cast member replaces the hole in the wall with some coin blocks.
Biff Atlas: All right, get into the
zombie costumes!
The Koopa cast does.
Biff Atlas: All right, now all we need
is a catchy jingle and some action! ACTION!
Biff Atlas is seen punching and squishing
the zombies to a creepy but catchy version of the Frosted Flakes song.
It goes a little like this.
Creepy Choir: Biff Atlas! I love the
things you do!
Biff Atlas! When I die I want to be
like you!
You're the one and only ghost, with
the one and only muscles
You can make a good breakfast and get
into cool tussles
Frosted Lug-nuts. They're more than
great...
Biff Atlas: They're-
Biff Atlas uppercuts a zombie.
Zombie: Ow-
Biff Atlas: -some! ... Cut! That's
a wrap, people! You can all go home now.
Biff Atlas retrieves his film and goes
back to WarioWare.
With Lakitu, Noon:
Lakitu: All right, time for video editing.
Thankfully, everything isn't that bad.
Lakitu makes minor adjustments to his
commercial and chooses the best angles to use.
Lakitu: All I need to do is prepare
a speech to give to Wario, and I should be set.
Lakitu prepares an argument.
With Bandit, Noon:
Bandit: All right, let's get working.
Bandit is doing a lot of computer work,
inserting his pixels and movie-like intros to make his simple game seem
as epic as an actually good videogame movie.
Bandit: I love this game! Now time...
*groan* for the boring part: preparing a speech I don't even have to give.
Bandit makes a speech but definitely
is not enjoying it.
With Biff Atlas, 1:00 PM:
Biff Atlas is sitting at his computer,
making very minor edits since he likes his commercial the way it is.
Biff Atlas: There, speech time.
Biff Atlas sees he only has 30 minutes
left. He begins to write quickly and still manages to make a pretty good
speech.
Suddenly Wario's face appears on their
computer screens.
Wario: Time's up, morons! Please come
to my office.
Lakitu, Bandit, and Biff Atlas head
toward Wario's office, enter it, and sit down. In the office are his assistants
and others.
Wario: Well, let me just introduce
you all. These are my product testers. I'm one of them, all three of you
know Mona and Crygor, and I want you three to meet Dribble, he usually
is the "cool" factor in WarioWare games. Now that that's out of the way,
let's see the products. By random selection, Bandit will go first. Do you
want to show the commercial first or do you want to give the speech first?
Bandit: I would like to show my commercial
first.
Bandit plops in his film and turns
on the TV. Almost like a movie, the TV has fading words in the intro.
TV: They say that one day...
The pixilated Wario is shown in his
casket.
TV: A hero will rise.
The pixilated Wario opens his eyes.
TV: And save the world...
The pixilated Wario dodges a bullet
from the tank.
TV: When we have fallen.
The pixilated Wario shoots the tank
and it explodes.
TV: Wario's War... coming out March
2011.
Bandit turns off the TV.
Bandit: As you can see, I have made
my very own videogame starring my maybe future boss himself, Wario Wario.
A game that this company needs and that shows that I already have the training
needed, I have a head start, unlike those two, who made whatever they made.
Besides, I have immunity so you can't fire me, and you must admit that
was indeed awesome.
Wario: Well, it is impressive, I love
explosions and all that.
Mona: However, is it the best product?
Crygor: Why do you want to become Wario's
apprentice, anyway? You already own a chain of hotels on Plit.
Bandit: Because I don't think it's
enough. Ever since I was a little boy, I have wanted to be with Wario,
he is my idol. And I have tried my very hardest to join him in this 15-day
quest. Will I join him in the final episode? Or will one of those two upstage
me? I don't know, all I know is enough is never enough, and I can add my
idol to the stuff that is never enough.
Dribble: That got really confusing
at the end. But you're still in the finals no matter what.
Wario: The second name picked was Lakitu.
Commercial first? Or speech first?
Lakitu: Commercial first.
Lakitu takes out Bandit's film and
replaces it with his film. The commercial plays the same as it did in the
recording studio.
Wario: Uh-
Lakitu: I have created Lakitu clouds-
Wario presses a buzzer.
Wario: I'm just going to stop you right
there. No, just no.
Lakitu: Why? This is the way to help
humans fly.
Wario: I don't sell to just humans,
dummy! I sell to all kinds of species: Goombas, Koopas, even Lakitus. If
I allowed this, I would be selling something every Lakitu already has.
It's stupid.
Mona: *sigh*
Crygor: Why do you want to be Wario's
apprentice?
Lakitu: Because... I don't make enough.
All right? That's my true reason. Do you know how much they pay gravediggers
these days? A coin a grave. That's it, I need to expand. This is the only
place I could actually do this, this is my one shot. I've screwed up, but
I learn, I improve on my act.
Dribble: I say you've haven't been
improving as I've watched the show, you've been privately talking with
Wario since episode one, and you still are. You've shown new things, but
you haven’t improved.
Wario: Biff Atlas, just don't screw
this up.
Biff Atlas: Commercial please.
Biff Atlas's commercial plays just
like it did in the recording studio.
Wario: I love that song. I'll be humming
it all day.
Biff Atlas: This is Biff Atlas's Frosted
Lug-nuts: sugar-coated edible lug-nuts approved by health inspectors. (Actually
only I tested it, but I'm sure it will pass.) Not only that, it tastes
great as well. Plus, with a mascot like me, kids will want to try be like
me and eat this cereal. This is a guaranteed moneymaker.
Wario: Hmm, I like it. Very impressive,
Biff Atlas.
Mona: Doesn't seem all that original
though.
Biff Atlas: There's barely any cereal
on Plit, though, so it helps the cereal district as well.
Crygor: Why do you want to be Wario's
apprentice?
Dribble: Can you ask any other questions?
Crygor: No, this is what Wario has
paid me for.
Wario: Shut up! But it still stands,
you already own one of the biggest gym companies on all of Plit. Why do
you want to join me?
Biff Atlas: Because in all of Lemmy's
Land history, despite my huge muscles and powerful moves, I have not been
accepted into Lemmy's Land. Look at any gameshows in Lemmy's Land involving
Luigi's Mansion, am I in them? No! I've been upstaged by Shivers, who's
just a wrinkly old man. I want to show them my dominance. I want to show
the world, I can do it.
Wario: Well, Bandit, you have immunity
so you're safe. Here's your final two prize.
Wario hands Bandit a DS
Wario: You get a DSi XL in the color
black, along with WarioWare DIY. I suggest you play it.
Bandit: Awesome!
Bandit runs out with his new DS.
Wario: Now, I have one other DS. It
will go to one of you. I'm going to discuss with my partners on who should
get it, Meanwhile, you two go to the top floor.
Lakitu and Biff Atlas go to the top
floor.
Wario: Now, what's everyone's opinion
on Lakitu? I personally would like to fire him right now, the finals are
looming and we need someone who can actually do something.
Mona: He at least thought about our
human audience.
Crygor: His reason to join us is quite
weak, though.
Dribble: That, and he hasn't improved
since episode 1.
Wario: However, this guy has actually
won a challenge as a leader, unlike Biff Atlas.
Mona: True, in a make your own business
challenge where he changed his entire idea by Fawful, of all people.
Wario: Right right, what about Biff
Atlas? I love the guy, but is he best for our team?
Mona: Well, he could do things, but
I felt he was a tad... cliché’. I mean-
Wario: So it's a tough guy trying to
sell cereal to kids, what's wrong with that?
Crygor: His reason is also cliché.
I mean, trying to show his dominance? That “he can do it"? I personally
hate those kinds of people.
Dribble: Yeah, but he's big, he's cool,
he can do all sorts of things. And he's been saving his team a good couple
of times.
Wario: All right, I think I know what
to do, I'll be right back.
Wario climbs up the staircase to the
top floor, where Lakitu and Biff Atlas are waiting.
Wario: I'm going to give my second
biggest judgment of the game. But I'm going to give all of you one last
chance to speak. Lakitu, why shouldn't I fire you?
Lakitu: I know I made a mistake in
choosing my product. But that commercial was indeed amazing, cooler than
Biff Atlas's at least. Besides, I've shown I can do things that Biff Atlas
can't, like win a challenge for instance, and get a henchman. It would
be foolish on your part to get rid of me, for I have done far greater things
than Biff Atlas has.
Wario: And Biff Atlas?
Biff Atlas: That's the best you can
muster, Lakitu? Really? Yes, your commercial was more edited and sophisticated
than mine. But you won a challenge where you barely did anything and Bowser
saved the team. And holding Petey over our heads again? I'm more of a born
leader- BOOS! COME FORTH!
Biff Atlas's Boos surround Wario, Lakitu,
and Biff Atlas.
Biff Atlas: I know how to work these
guys. They chose to work for me, and I use them when I need them, you're
just using Petey for stupid things. I have done far better things in the
past few episodes than you have done this entire show.
Wario: Enough! My mind is clear.
Wario looks both of them in the eye.
Wario: Lakitu, if I kept you here,
you would be a great painter, I've seen you paint great things. However,
you just joined me to make a bit of money? And let me tell you something
about that commercial, that wasn't great, if the people reading this could
actually see that commercial it would be Arty Farty. You're not showing
the product. You still haven't learned how to make a commercial. Plus,
last episode you said you could lead more than one person if I let you
live that episode. You couldn't do that. And that's why you're FIRED!
Lakitu shakes his head, seeing that's
it all over.
Wario: Biff Atlas, here's your DS.
You’re dismissed.
Biff Atlas takes his prize and leaves.
Wario: Now OUT OF MY BUILDING!
Lakitu, never thinking he would have
to hear those words, goes up the stairs and into the Cheep Cheep Blimp.
Lakitu: This close, I was this close
to winning. And in the semi-final episode I screwed it up. Well, at least
it can't get worse-
Petey: MASTER!
Petey is flying straight for the Cheep
Cheep Blimp
Lakitu: Oh dear DAD.
Petey and the blimp fly off in the
distance.
Narrator: One job, now just two people
working for it, Wario's search for an apprentice... continues.
Wario: I knew I forgot something.
Wario tosses Lakitu's product on the
narrator's head.
Wario: And now to get some rest.
Wario goes downstairs to see his employees
have yet to leave.
Wario: What are you guys still doing
here?
Crygor: You've yet to tell us that
we're dismissed.
Wario: Well you are, now leave! I have
money to count!
The three get up and leave.
Wario: Not you, Mona. I have something
to give you.
Mona: What?
Wario: You've been wanting this for
about five games now. So here you go.
Wario hands Mona an envelope. Mona
opens it and does not believe her eyes.
Mona: My... my paycheck?!
Wario: Well, you have been working
hard and OOF!
Mona hugs Wario. Wario notices the
camera.
Wario: Turn off that darn camera!