Wario: Last time, I put 12 contestants
up to the test of making and selling candy. Silver made chocolate coins,
while Squash made chocolate bars. In the end, after sabotaging the other
team TWICE, Squash ended up the winners, and Waluigi, my brother, was fired
due to a broken jaw and a broken leg. And for those that are worried, yes,
Lemmy and Lakitu are ok now... and no, Mona's leg still has not healed.
The Apartment: 1:00 AM
Everyone is arguing and fighting after what Squash did last episode. Then the brand new phone rings, and Biff Atlas picks it up.
Biff Atlas: Hello?
Wario: STOP THAT RACKET! I CAN'T GET ANY SLEEP! I WANT TO SEE ALL 11 OF YOUR BUTTS IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!
Biff Atlas: Ok, goodbye.
Biff Atlas hangs up.
Biff Atlas: SHUT UP, EVERYONE!
Everyone stops fighting. Bandit has Birdo egg on his face, Lakitu has a Spiny wedged in Goomba King's head, Bowser is juggling Snifit 3, Lemmy has 10 Geno bullets in him, and Booster is frozen.
Biff Atlas: We need to get to Wario's place, he sounds mad!
Everyone charges to the office... well, almost everyone.
Booster: (Umm, guys? Can you get me out of this ice cube first?)
Wario: Ok, who are we forgetting this fine evening?
Everyone looks around and notices Booster isn't with them.
Wario: Can you guys please take a head count every once in a while to make sure everyone is here? Pipes are really expensive.
A pipe appears and Booster and a Koopa come out of it.
Koopa: That will be 20 coins, sign here.
Wario signs and gives the Koopa 20 coins, then the Koopa leaves.
Wario: Where was I? Oh yes, your mission for today. After getting rid of a stupid chef, a very old lady, a gangster doing the caramelldansen, a plantation owner who doesn't wash himself, and my brother, I think you guys are ready to actually advertise my campaign. Not only did I have to make microgames to make myself rich, I also had to advertise. You guys are going to do that today. You guys are going to advertise my campaign right here in Diamond City. Just put up what you can, but make it mobile. I will give you credit if you advertise on a billboard, but I'll give more respect if you put it on a taxi. Bowser and Goomba King are your leaders today.
Bowser: ALL RIGHT!
Wario: You have 11 hours to advertise
as much as you can. Remember, we'll be judging your performances, since
no money will be involved. Now go out there and advertise!
Silver is seen outside Diamond City airport
Bowser: BANDIT! GO IN THERE AND STEAL ALL THE ADVERTISING POSTERS!
Bandit: Aye aye, Captain!
Bandit runs in.
Bowser: LEMMY! YOU HOLD THIS SIGN!
Bowser gives Lemmy a sign saying "I'm so cool, I advertise for WarioWare".
Bowser: BIFF ATLAS! YOU HIJACK THAT BUS!
Biff Atlas: I thought you would never ask.
Biff Atlas floats into the bus. Many screams are heard.
Bowser: LAKITU! YOU ADVERTISE WARIOWARE BY THROWING PAINTED SPINY EGGS AND RANDOM AIRPLANES!
Lakitu: Fun fun fun.
Goomba King: Ok, guys, here's the plan. Birdo, you get a job at the diner and start talking about WarioWare while you work.
Birdo runs into the diner.
Goomba King: Geno, you dress up like a leprechaun, and lead little kids to WarioWare.
Geno appears in a leprechaun outfit.
Geno: I hate my life.
Geno swiftly and rather stupidly skips around, looking for little kids.
Goomba King: Booster... you sit right there and hold this sign.
Goomba King puts a "Go to WarioWare to help me out of this ice cube" sign in front of the Booster ice cube.
Goomba King: Snifit 3... What should I do with you?
Snifit 3: Uuum, I can get my TV show to advertise for WarioWare.
Goomba King: Good idea. You get talking.
Snfit 3 pulls out a cell phone.
Goomba King: Fawful, you get yourself a cup of coffee and don't do anything stupid.
Fawful: I am now of readiness!
Fawful walks into a cafe.
Goomba King: I'll get a job at the toy
Bowser: HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?!
Lemmy: I've gotten 50 of my lovely fans to go to WarioWare
Lakitu: The key to throwing a Spiny is to make sure that you are the Spiny.
Lakitu throws the Spiny at an airplane and the airplane magically turns blue with yellow words saying "WarioWare" on it.
A painted Spiny lands on Bowser's face.
Bowser: WHAT'S WITH YOUR BAD AIM?!
Lakitu: It's not my fault, you distracted me.
Bowser: DOESN'T MATTER! HOW ARE YOU DOING?!
Lakitu: I managed to get 3 planes advertising WarioWare.
Suddenly a bus drives up in front of them.
Bowser: YO BIFF!
Biff Atlas: Ok, I've taken control of the bus, now what do I do with it?
Bowser: WE MUST SCRIBBLE ON IT!
Bowser takes his claw and starts making very loud and sharp scratches on the bus. Everyone is going crazy listening to it.
Bandit: Hi guys, I got the pos- OH MY DAD! WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE NOISE?!
Bandit drops the 193 posters he stole,
which go flying off in the wind. They attach to an airplane and block the
windshield. The pilots can't see they abd crash into another plane, both
planes blow up and- Do I need to say more?
Birdo: So, I was looking at cool things on the Internet. And then I found WarioWare, ever seen that place?
Birdo: You should totally check it out. With the world's greatest games on it, you can't go wrong.
Goomba: I don't have a game system.
Birdo makes an anime sweatdrop. Meanwhile, Geno is acting like an idiot.
Geno: Now that you caught me, you get me pot o’ gold!
Larry: Tell me where it is! And I won't cattle prod you!
Geno: First you must get five more people.
Larry: YO Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, and Ludwig, come over here! I just scored us a pot of gold. NOW WHERE IS IT?!
Geno: Take me to WarioWare!
Snifit 3: Yes, so for the episode I want it solely on WarioWare.
Booster: (You know, this isn't working out. Hardly anyone is glancing at this sign.)
Fawful: Ahhhhhhness. Nothing like coffee of cupness, while my mates of teamness work on Ware of Warioness.
Cafe Owner: Excuse me, did you say you're advertising for WarioWare?
Fawful: I did talk of this.
Cafe Owner: I'm a big time buyer of his, maybe we can work something out for advertising?
Fawful: Not of whyness?
Biff Atlas: Uh, Bowser?
Bowser: WHAT?! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO FIX A SPELLING MISTAKE?!
Biff Atlas: Lo-
Police: Sir, you and your friends are under arrest for the murder of 27 people.
Bandit: Hey! Get your hands off me!
Lemmy: No! My adoring fans! Help me!
Bowser: JUST GREAT!
Biff Atlas: -ok...Didn't I already do that?
Silver is led to a police station, then to a court.
Judge: How do you five plead?
Silver: Not guilty.
Judge: Then let court commence!
Lakitu: I have a bad feeling about this
Goomba King: Messing around with toys, oh what fun.
Boss: HEY! NO MESSING AROUND WITH THE TOYS! YOU'RE FIRED!
The boss kicks Goomba King out of his building.
Goomba King: At least I rigged a few Wii's.
Boss: And take your stupid rigged Wii's, too!
11 boxes fall on Goomba King's head, making him faint.
Goomba King: Of cour- *faints*
Birdo: This is stupid, I'm not getting anywhere! This diner has no customers, I've spent four hours in here doing nothing but cleaning tables! I quit!
Birdo takes off the stupid-looking waitress outfit and marches out of the diner.
Geno: Now that you're in WarioWare, you must have your siblings buy five different items over the price of $19.99.
Larry: This seems rather suspicious…
Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy and Ludwig: Got them!
Geno: Now I'll take you to my pot of gold!
Booster: (GET ME OUT HERE!)
Snifit 3: Ok, the Nintendo Physics episode of Big Bang Theory will be posted in a couple hours.
Fawful is seen dragging unconscious Koopa Troopas into the cafe.
Fawful: I have your customers that are new. Now post the poster that will make me full of happiness!
Cafe Owner: A deal is a deal.
The cafe owner shows Fawful a poster of Wario picking his nose while stacks of his microgames are behind him.
Fawful: This is whatness?
Cafe Owner: I bought it when he made a bet against Eggman that he could get more gold medals than him in Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games.
Fawful: I had ideas of none.
Fawful swipes the poster and puts it
right in front of the cafe.
Random Generic Lawyer: Prosecution calls Bowser Koopa to the stand.
Bowser: FIFTH AMENDMENT!
RGL: This isn't America.
Bowser: THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Judge: ONE MORE OUTBURST AND I WILL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT!
Lemmy: (Please Dad, don't yell, don't yell…)
Lakitu: (We're dead now…)
Biff Atlas: (Congratulations, Bowser, you're next to be fired.)
Bandit: (Hey, this place has a lot of stuff to steal, maybe I can bribe the judge to let us off easy…)
Bowser: OOH! I'M SO SCARED!
Judge: THAT'S IT! TAKE THEM AWAY!
Bowser: YOU AREN'T TOUCHING US!
Bowser jumps to the jury box, picks it up, throws it at the bailiffs, then smashes a wall, and Silver run away. Then Bowser stops and runs back to the court.
Bowser: BUY GAMES FROM WARIOWARE!
Wario's face appears onscreen.
Wario: Hello everyone, this is the point of the story where you want to take a break or just do something else and not read, so we are going to pity you and give an intermission. Along with a stupid commercial. Bye bye, and remember, OBEY WARIO! WA HA HA!
[c]2 men! 1 battle!
See the 2 biggest rivalries in Roy Sports
Hall History fight in a 6-man tag-team "Everything's on the line" match.
Will the team of Midbus and Pikachu defend their tag team titles against
the team of Waluigi and King DeDeDe, [i]Degeneration upside down L?[/
Will the RHS champion Mr. L defend his title against his biggest rival Anti-guy?
Find out on a random date on Roy Sports Hall. Find out more on noneofthesebattlesareactuallygoingtohappen.com.[/
Wario: Now back to the show.
Larry: Ok, now where is it?!
Geno: Right in that room.
Geno points to a freezer.
Larry: Let's get that money!
The 6 Koopalings run into the freezer, and Geno shuts it and locks the door.
Geno: Oh, too bad, they also left their Microgames out here... and a TV... and a WarioWare game system... I'll be right back.
Snifit 3 is seen dressed up as Santa Claus and is ringing a bell on a street corner.
Koopa: What are you doing?
Snfit 3: Ummm, can you donate to WarioWare?
Koopa: NO! Ever since I've seen that stupid sign I'm never going in there again!
Snifit 3: Ummm, what poster?
Fawful: Wait, why are you being disgusted at the sign of awesomeness?
People: NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A POSTER OF A GUY PICKING HIS NOSE!
Fawful: I feel like the sadness of a scared baby.
Fawful runs away in tears to the apartment. There he runs into Geno.
Geno: What's wrong?
Fawful makes sobbing noises.
Geno: ... Why don't you go into your room and you can cry all you want?
Fawful nods and runs into his room.
Geno: Ok, now where was I? Ok, now place this wire in the outlet and my game system should work.
In the courthouse....
Judge: Who were those rude people?
Random Jury Member: They are Silver. They saved Koopa Village, now they just destroyed all sense of peace in this courtroom.
Judge: They must be heading for WarioWare,
they were advertising it.
Bandit: They'll never find us in WarioWare, let's get there and save Wario some cash by not using warp pipes for once.
Biff Atlas: Agreed.
Lemmy covers his dad's mouth.
Lemmy: Shhhh! King Dad, you can't give us away. Just don't speak until we're in the meeting room.
Bowser nods and Silver slowly enter
In the Apartment…
Birdo: Where were you guys?
Geno: Playing WarioWare games nonstop.
Snifit 3: Ummm, why was there a waterfall coming out of Fawful's window?
Geno: What waterfall?
Geno, Birdo, and Snifit 3 open the door to Fawful's room and sees he's crying so much that he's making a waterfall out the window.
Geno: Fawful, something the matter?
Fawful stops crying.
Fawful: Get out... of my room.
Snifit 3: Ummm, did you just say a normal sentence?
Fawful: GET OUT MY ROOM!
Birdo, Geno, and Snifit 3 heed the warning and close the door.
Birdo: Ok, something's up with Fawful.
Geno: I must agree.
Mona appears behind them.
Mona: Meeting time, Goomba King and Booster are already there.
Birdo, Geno, and Snifit 3: Right.
Wario's Meeting Room
Wario is seen eating some tacos with Silver, and Squash comes in. Wario finishes his taco and burps.
Wario: Ok, now where's Fawful?
Wario: Let me call-
Suddenly the doors to Wario's office fly open, revealing Fawful in his Dark Fawful outfit, only his head is pitch black and he looks sane.
Fawful sits in his seat.
Wario: .... 11 hours ago I gave you the task of advertising my company. Silver, Bowser was your team leader, did he do well?
Biff Atlas: No
Wario: And Squash, Goomba King was your leader, did he do a good-
Wario: Excuse me?
Fawful: He failed at his job, that's why he’s unconscious.
Wario: Give me the scores, Mona.
Mona: Ok, Goomba King gave Birdo a bad job working at a diner, Geno locked the Koopalings in a freezer then got lazy, Fawful changed his view on reality-
Fawful: Shut up, (%#*($*!
Mona: You shall not speak to a girl like that!
Wario: Fawful, do you want to be fired right now?
Fawful: Sure, do it.
Wario: Fawful you're FIRED, now OUT OF MY BUILDING! Cue the annoying narrator!
Jimmy T: Ahem, you can't, because Silver lost the challenge.
Wario: *facepalm* How could they possibly do worse?
Jimmy T: How about a riot right in front of our building?
Wario walks up to a window and sees half of Diamond City yelling and screaming and attacking WarioWare employees that are unfortunate enough to be outside in all that.
Wario: How do you guys do stuff like this? Squash wins, Goomba King has immunity, you all get 30 day free trials at an anger management class.
Fawful: I don't want that, you ()*$()#*#*()$!
Fawful is dragged off by Birdo, Geno, and Snifit 3.
Wario: *sigh* This is the second time in a row you guys failed. How does it make you feel?
Biff Atlas: Grueling.
Lakitu: Being 20 percent afraid.
Wario: Ok, Bowser, why is there a mob outside my building for...
Wario looks outside through a periscope.
Wario: The destruction of Bowser Koopa, Lemmy Koopa, Bandit, Lakitu, and Biff Atlas?
Bowser: WE DESTROYED A COURTHOUSE!
Wario: Remind me, why are you on my show? Biff Atlas, I say you didn't screw up as much as everyone else.
Biff Atlas: Yes, all I did was hijack a bus, and Bowser ruined it.
Wario: What does hijacking a bus got to do with advertising?
Biff Atlas: ... I don't know.
Wario: ... Bandit, why did you steal all those advertising posters?
Bandit: I dunno.
Lakitu: I was trying to get WarioWare logos on planes.
Wario: Well that makes sense at least,. And Lemmy... what did you do again?
Lemmy: I held a sign.
Wario: ... I see why you guys shouldn't be my apprentice. But Biff Atlas, who would you fire?
Biff Atlas: BOWSER! He was the leader of all this!
Lemmy: Really, I would fire Bandit, ‘cause he was a big reason all that happened.
Lakitu: Bowser, definitely.
Bandit: Lakitu, he's not very helpful other than throwing Spinies around.
Wario: Ok, Bowser, choose 2 people you want to send to privately talk with me.
Bowser: BANDIT AND LAKITU!
Wario: Ok, you two are safe again.
Biff Atlas and Lemmy hop into a pipe.
Wario: I want to have a talk with you three.
Wario leads the 3 idiots to the top floor.
Wario: Now that we are alone, Bowser, why shouldn't I fire you?
Bowser: I HELPED MAKE GOOD DECISIONS!
Wario: And bad decisions.
Bowser: BUT! I'M ABLE TO GET PAST A LOT OF FOES!
Wario: Bandit, why shouldn't I fire you?
Bandit: Did you see how fast I was when I took all the posters out of the airport? That entire airport in ten minutes. Just imagine what I can do in a smaller place. I can make lots of booty, I can advertise for you, I can do a lot of things.
Wario: And Lakitu, why shouldn't I fire you?
Lakitu: I helped advertise for WarioWare, and now 3 different planes are advertising it.
Wario: Ok, let's look at the situation. Lakitu, I think you're safe.
Wario: However, you also impressed me. I didn't think much of you, and now you're doing well.
Lakitu: Th-Thank you?
Wario turns to the other 2.
Wario: I'm going to be frank. Bandit, you've been here before, and this time it's focusing around you. I think I should fire you under normal circumstances.
Bandit: All right, goodbye.
Wario: Nope, Bowser, you're FIRED!
Bandit and Lakitu: What?!
Wario: You were the leader of all this, a leader should know what to do in this kind of situation, and you failed that task! I can't have you as an apprentice! Now OUT OF MY BUILDING!
Bowser walks up the stairs, onto the roof, and into the Cheep Cheep Blimp.
Bowser: HOW DARE WARIO GET RID OF ME SO EARLY IN THE GAME?!
Wario: Lakitu, you've been here twice already, I don't like your odds for the rest of this game.
Lakitu: I will try harder than I have been now.
Wario: And Bandit, this is your second trip in a row. You should be getting worried.
Bandit: I am.
Wario: You are dismissed.
Bandit and Lakitu: Thank you, Wario.
Bandit and Lakitu leave.
Narrator: One job, now ten people fighting for it, Wario's search for an apprentice continues.
Wario: Lakitu, can you come back here?
Lakitu comes in and wedges his Spiny into the narrator’s head.
Narrator: I need to quit my job sometime.