Wario's Apprentice

By Badyoyo

Wario: Last time, I put 11 contestants up to the simple task of advertising... THEY ALL FAILED! The only reason Squash didn't end up losing is because Silver caused a riot outside my building! Squash did terribly as well. To make it short, Geno ended up a leprechaun, Fawful went dark, and Booster turned into a block of ice. But because Bowser somehow was able to cause a riot, he was fired. This week I have a difficult task for them.

The Apartment, 6:00 AM

The phone rings but no one hurries to get it. Geno picks it up since he always wakes up at 5 to clean up the house. (Don't ask me why.)

Geno: Hello?

Wario: Big task, *yawn* get the other nine outside my building in.... ten hours.

Wario hangs up the phone.

Wario: I really need to choose better mission starting time-

Wario falls asleep.

Everyone is now wide awake and behind Geno, with coffee in their hands.

Geno: The task is at 4:00 PM.

Everyone groans.

Fawful: Ok then, we shall prepare ourselves for it.

Geno: Or we could play WarioWare.

Fawful: Lazy. I'm going to make myself productive.

Fawful flies out of the apartment.

Birdo: ...

Goomba King: ...

Bandit: ... I vote we play Jump Forever!

Everyone: YOU'RE ON!

With Fawful…

Fawful slowly makes his way towards Wario's window and patiently waits for his boss to wake up. After several hours, Wario picks up the phone.

Wario: Yo Daisy! ... Vip Thrift... big sale... around 4:30... private jet... Ok... Love you... Goodbye.

Wario hangs up.

Wario: If Mona knew my relationship with Daisy, she'd kill me. Hehehe.

Fawful smirks and flies off to the apartment.

Goomba King: I win again!

Lakitu: That's because you rigged the system!

Snifit 3: Ummm, new game?

Lemmy: NO!

Lemmy smashes the game system.

Geno: A little bit of a temper tantrum, have we?

Fawful: Baby.

Bandit: Where did you come from?

Fawful: Our task includes Princess Daisy, VIP Thrift, and a big sale.

Biff Atlas: Eh, don't care.

Geno: Oh look, it's 3:55 already. Let's get going to WarioWare.

The 10 walk over to WarioWare, where Wario is waiting for him in his car.

Fawful: Tell us the story, fat lard!

Wario: You want to be fired?

Fawful: We did this already.

Wario: Ok, history lesson time! I made my money by making people sell stupid things. Princess Daisy is coming to VIP Thrift, and I want to you ten to sell THESE to her.

Wario pops the trunk, and 2 giant cages each containing a giant Piranha Plant pop out. 9 contestants drop their jaws, while Fawful just stands there.

Wario: Squash will be selling the red Piranha Plant, while Silver will be selling the white Piranha Plant. Whoever can sell their Piranha Plant to Daisy wins. If it's a tie the team that made more money will win. Also, about the prize this episode, it will all depend on if you want to win it or not. Snifit 3 and Geno are your team leaders.

Snifit 3: Ummm, excuse me, but me and Geno are on the same team.

Wario: WRONG! You've been transferred to Silver! You have ‘till7:00 tonight to get her to buy these!

Geno: Three hours?

Wario: Actually it's 2 hours, 59 minutes, and 50 seconds. SEE YA LOSERS!

Wario speeds off. Geno quietly motions Fawful over to him.

Geno: Listen, I want you to share my team leader skills. I think Wario will see how great the two of us work together.

Fawful: Fine, but only if you split the immunity with me when we win.

Geno: But then next time we lose, Booster will be fired.

Fawful: Geno, it will be the merge next time we lose. We don't need to care about Booster.

Geno: ... Fine, we're both leaders.

Fawful: Good.


Geno: Ok, first, we must take this to VIP Thrift.

Goomba King: How do we do that?

Fawful: First we must freeze the Plant.

Fawful shoots the Piranha Plant with his gun, and the Plant is stunned.

Fawful: Then Goomba King will push it, as will Booster.

Goomba King and Booster start pushing the cage to VIP Thrift.

Birdo: What should me and Geno do?

Geno: Let's relax, Fawful has this done.

Fawful: YOU TWO! Geno! Look at Piranha Plant pricing! Birdo, you do nothing because you're a girl!

Birdo shoots an egg at Fawful, who blasts it with his gun.

Birdo: You don't have immunity anyway, and I'm going to work. First I'm going to destroy that traitor!


Snifit 3: Ummm, why does my head hurt?

Lakitu: ... Yeah, you got Birdo egg on your back.

Bandit: OW! She hit me with an egg too!

Biff Atlas: You can't hit me! You can't hit me.

Lemmy: OW!

Biff Atlas: What's the matter? Egg on your face?

Biff Atlas chuckles.

Lemmy: No! The Piranha Plant bit my hair.

Biff Atlas: Why is that bad?

Lemmy: Because I'm being used as a yoyo and am getting tossed around in a cage!

Biff Atlas sighs, grabs Lemmy, and pulls him out.

Snifit 3: Ummm, why don't we take it to VIP Thrift?

Biff Atlas: Good idea!

Biff Atlas grabs the cage and starts pushing it.

Snifit 3: Bandit, why don't you go look at Piranha Plant prices?

Bandit: Gotcha!

Bandit runs off.

Snifit 3: Ummm, Lakitu, why don't you sabotage the other team?

Lakitu: Yes sir!


Fawful: Do they really think they can sabotage us?

Fawful shoots down Lakitu with his gun and throws him into the cage with the Piranha Plant.

Goomba King: Why'd you do that?

Fawful: They want to sabotage us, I'll give them a good sabotage they'll never forget.

Goomba King and Booster look at each other, confused.

Fawful: Keeping pushing!

Booster: Thank DAD we're *grunt* Almost there.

Birdo: Geno, DO SOMETHING!

Geno: Hmmm, I don't seem to have immunity, so I'll help.

Geno takes out his finger gun and shoots Silver with it.

Birdo: Finally you do something.

Snifit 3: Ummm, shouldn’t we do something about those two?

Lemmy: Yep.

Lemmy takes out his Freeze Gun.

Birdo and Geno: AAAAHHHHH!

Birdo and Geno run into the cage and start pushing like mad. Thankfully their pushes are what was needed to get to VIP Thrift.

Peach: Oh dear, you guys again.

Booster: Hey, aren't you that girl who said "moi" wrong?

Peach slaps Booster.


Snifit 3: Umm, can we pick up the pace?

Bandit: How? Lakitu is gone, and we're all weak.

Snifit 3: Why doesn't everyone push?

Biff Atlas: I could use some help over here.

Lemmy: Wasn't there a reason we didn't want to get near the cage?

Snifit 3 walks up to the cage, and the giant Piranha Plant inside tries to bite his head off. Snifit 3 escapes.

Lemmy: Oh yeah, Biff is the only one who can't be eaten.

Biff Atlas: Which is why I'm hating this game more and more!

Snifit 3: Umm, can you hurry up? It's 4:25 now.

Bandit: WHAT?! 4:25?! We have five minutes before Daisy gets here?

Lemmy: Now what are we supposed to do?!

Snifit 3: 4:26…


Geno: 4:27. Ok, everyone know what to do?

Fawful: Yeah yeah, blah blah. I act all cool around Daisy, you do nothing, Birdo tries to sell the thing, Booster tries to convince her with a free Lakitu statue, and Goomba King will blackmail her with his.

Fawful shows Squash a photograph.

Geno: … Uh…

Goomba King: Woah...

Booster: WHAT'S THAT?!

Birdo whispers something in Booster’s ear.

Booster: EW!

Geno: Where in the world did you get that thing, anyway?

Fawful: That's for me to know, and for you to find out.

Geno: 4:29... 4:30... She should be entering the store... right... about… now!

Everyone hides after covering up the Piranha Plant. Fawful is just standing there, while Geno takes a nap. Daisy enters the store

Daisy: Hello?

Fawful: Hello there, fine lady. You seem to be rich and lovely.

Daisy gives Fawful a "What the?" look.

Fawful: Then you want this-

Daisy: Not interested in entrepreneurs.

Fawful's mouth drops open. Daisy leaves him be, and then runs into Birdo.

Birdo: Hey GIRLFRIEND! I just saw the coolest thing in this place, want me to show it to you?

Daisy: Eh, why not?

Fawful silently cheers from the sidelines.

Birdo: Right here.

Birdo rips off the cover, revealing the stunned Piranha Plant.

Birdo: This giant Piranha Plant statue is one of the most authentic of them all. It's been here for almost 1,000 years, and served as a great war memorial. They'll give you this great honor for only 50 coins.

Booster appears out of some boxes.

Booster: AND! If you buy this in the next five minutes we'll throw in a free Lakitu statue!

Booster shows Daisy the frozen Lakitu they got earlier.

Booster: That's a 100-coin value, for only 50 coins!

Daisy: ... I hate entrepreneurs... BUT I LOVE COMMERCIALS!

Daisy buys the entire cage, kisses Booster and Fawful, slaps Birdo on the back, and leaves the store in the span of about 5 seconds.

Fawful: Ok... Stranger than my blackmail.

Booster: What did she give me?

Birdo: A kiss.

Booster: What's a kiss?

Birdo: Ummmm, how do I explain it?

Geno: ZZZ- Huh? Ummmm, yo Cameraman, go bother Daisy.

Daisy runs outside with her new Plant and runs into Silver.

Wario: Intermission time!

30 men! 1 battle!

See the 30 biggest power players in Roy Sports Hall history fight in Roy's Sports Hall's first ever "Roy"al Rumble, the most chaotic of Roy Sports Hall battles EVER! Also  . Degeneration upside down L will try to defend their titles against the masters of all power, Gilgamesh and Enkidu! Who just finished off 4 men in a handicapped match.

Wario: Now back to the show.


Snifit 3: Ummm, are we too late?

Daisy: Well I seem to have already bought this lovely giant Piranha Plant and Lakitu statue.


Daisy: So? He's mine now.

Bandit: Then we must sue you.

Daisy: For how much?

Phoenix Wright: OBJECTIO-

Lemmy freezes Phoenix Wright.

Lemmy: Got to keep those pop culture references out.

Daisy: Wouldn't  court be a little too graphic for this PG show?

Bandit: It is PG; PG 13.

Lemmy: Seriously? We're talking Mario minions that have weird jobs and are competing on a gameshow that nobody cares about, and we're trying to sell this giant white Piranha Plant to Princess Daisy. And you say this is PG 13?

Bandit: All that really matters is-

Daisy: Sue me!

Bandit: Excuse me... What?

Daisy: If you want your friend back, then sue me.

Bandit: Oh, I'm going to enjoy this…

In court…

Judge: I hereby declare Daisy *insert random last name here* NOT GUILTY!

Bandit: WHAT?! The trial hasn't even started yet!

Judge: So? You still are guilty due to what happened last week.

Lemmy: This is unfair!

Judge: I hereby sentence Silver to be beaten by Daisy and a random mob for a full five minutes.

5 minutes later...

Daisy is seen panting like crazy, Bandit is knocked out with his mask having been taken away by Daisy, Lemmy is frozen, Snifit 3 is chasing butterflies because he doesn't want to fight, and Biff Atlas is actually tired.(Wait... what?)

Biff Atlas: Not bad... for a girl.

2 minutes later…

Biff Atlas is on the floor nearly knocked out and with the white Piranha Plant trying to eat him.

Daisy: Now that is taken care of.... Hey… Where's my crown?

Daisy turns around and notices that the unconscious Biff Atlas is holding her crown... somehow.

Daisy: For the love of…

Setting down her purse, Daisy squeezes through the bars and grabs her crown, but Biff Atlas grabs her neck.

Biff Atlas: You can't hurt a ghost, remember?

Daisy is choking and can't make a sound.

Biff Atlas: Oh look, there's your purse you foolishly left behind outside. If you promise to buy this and I get your purse, I'll let you go, ok?

Daisy tries to nod, and Biff Atlas drops her.

Biff Atlas: Thank you, strength.

Biff Atlas is then attacked by a barrage of eggs, Geno Bullets, exploding nuts, and punching bags, then gets sucked into the Piranha Plant cage.

Biff Atlas: Why didn't I see that coming?

Goomba King: It's simple.


Moments prior, Geno is lounging around, Birdo is explaining the meaning of a kiss to Booster, Fawful is happily counting the coins, and Goomba King is taking a nap.

Booster: Hey... Anyone else hear anything from outside?

Birdo: Yeah, maybe we should check it out.

Squash comes out of VIP Thrift and sees Silver threatening Daisy.

Geno: We're not going to let them get away with this, are we?

Fawful: I have a plan.

Fawful huddles Squash together.

Judge: Hey Squash, I'll give you a pardon for selling those poison snowcones if you beat up this random mob.

Fawful: This day just gets better and better!

Geno shoots Bandit with multiple Geno Bullets, then Geno takes his mask and hands to Daisy. Before she knows anything, Birdo redirects Lemmy's freeze ray by shooting an egg at the ray while she dodges it; Lemmy gets hit by the frozen egg. Goomba King whacks Biff Atlas with a punching bag, then Fawful shoots Snifit 3 to mind control him into not fighting.

Biff Atlas: Not bad... for a girl.

Birdo whacks Biff Atlas with another punching bag, knocking him inside the cage, but he manages to grab Daisy's crown.

A whole scene later...

Biff Atlas takes the wallet, not noticing Squash. Then they ambush him, and now Biff Atlas is being told about what happened.

Biff Atlas: Why didn't I see that coming?

Goomba King: It's simple…


Snifit 3: Ummm, excuse me?

Goomba King: And what does the little traitor want?

Snifit 3: Umm, it's time for the meeting; Mona and Jimmy are already there.

Biff Atlas: Ok, let's just round these guys up.

Everyone grabs their teammates. Daisy runs away, forgetting her purse and her giant Piranha plants. Everyone jumps into a warp pipe to their destination... well, almost everyone.

Biff Atlas: Heh heh heh, thank goodness no one took you while we were getting ready to leave…

Wario's Talking Room

Wario: Ok, can the author who I'm not supposed to talk about decide on a name for this room? First it was my office, then my meeting room, then my meeting room with italics, now it's the talking room?!

Fine, Wario's Office.

Wario: Thanks. So here we are. I've made you guys sell Piranha plants to Princess Daisy. I hope you didn't manage to screw it up. So Squash, Geno was your team leader-

Fawful: Terrible.

Wario: Ok, Fawful, I want to talk to you later if you guys lose the challenge. Now Silver, Snifit 3 was your team leader, did he do well?

Biff Atlas: NO!

Lemmy: No, not really.

Bandit: Uh uh.

Wario: Gee, how bad did these guys do? Mona, did Squash manage to sell its Plant?

Mona: Yes, for 50 coins.

Wario: Byebye, Silver; Squash, you win again.

Jimmy T: Hold up! Silver won!

Wario: What? HOW?!

Jimmy T. shows Wario Daisy's purse

Jimmy T: They sold their Piranha Plant for 1,000 coins, 2 debit cards, 3 credit cards, Daisy's driver’s license... and a picture of you.

Wario snatches the photo and tears it up.


Biff Atlas: Oh, let's just say she "gave it to me".

Wario: Congratulations, Silver! You actually win a match for once. Here's your prize. Like I said about the prize, it will only help the leader, so Snifit 3, not only do you have immunity, you win a free date with Princess Daisy!

Silver (except Snifit 3) and Squash start complaining.

Snifit 3: I'll pass.

Squash and Silver: WHAT?!

Wario: Well I can't give it to anyone else.

Snifit 3: Too bad.

Snifit 3 walks out, along with Silver.

Wario: What a nerd. Anyway, I know who I want gone, but I'll still interview you guys. So where did you guys go wrong, Geno?

Geno: To be honest, I don't really know.

Jimmy T: How about you letting Biff Atlas steal Daisy's purse?

Geno: That could be it.

Wario: My apprentice needs to be alert, and you definitely weren't

Geno: I'm sorry, Wario.

Wario: Sorry may not cut it. Fawful, I so want to fire you right now, what is your reaction?

Fawful: Don't care.

Wario: Do you even want to win?

Fawful: Sure.

Wario: *sigh* Booster, I say you're doing very well in this game, do you find yourself to be a threat or a weakness?

Booster: I personally find myself to be a weakness for my team, as I'm forced to go privately talk with you against two people who haven't been up there.

Wario: Goomba King, you have immunity and you hardly did anything. Why didn't you grab the purse?

Goomba King: I have no arms.

Wario: But you’ve made punching bags, ball and chains, and Poltergust 5000s.

Goomba King: True.

Wario: Birdo, same question.

Birdo: I did work, we wouldn't have sold had the Plant if it weren't for me.

Wario: Then why didn't you take the purse?

Birdo: It didn't match me.

Wario: Mona, translation please.

Mona: She means she didn't want to pick up the purse because it was orange and she is pink.

Birdo: Exactly.

Wario: ... I've heard stupid things before, but that-

Fawful: -is one of the stupidest things you ever heard. Fawful, who would you fire? … And I would fire Geno.

Wario: You are dangling over a pit of fire, Fawful. Goomba King, who would you fire?

Goomba King: Since I can't fire Birdo, I would say the next worst member on our team is... Geno.

Wario: Birdo?

Birdo: Booster, he's weird.

Wario: I'm afraid to ask, but who would you fire, Booster?

Booster: Fawful seems like a good choice to get rid of, for he has been on your back for quite some time now.

Wario: Ok, Goomba King and Birdo have immunity, so you two are safe.

Goomba King and Birdo hop into a warp pipe.

Wario: I want to have a private talk with you three.

Wario leads the three lazy guys to the top floor.

Wario: Now that we're alone, Fawful, you're FIRED!

Fawful takes out his gun and aims it Wario.

Fawful: You're going to give me a second chance, got it?

Wario: Fine, Fawful, why shouldn't I fire you?

Fawful: Because Geno is extremely lazy. We could've won the challenge if it weren't for him.

Wario: But, you could've won the challenge if you picked up the purse, instead you decided to be a dictator when you weren't even a team leader, and a blackmailer... with what?! A picture of a tree in Dark Land?

Fawful: Oh, that's what it is... I thought it was Daisy giving you a piggy back ride.

Wario: DAD help me. Geno, why shouldn't I fire you?

Geno: Because I split my leader rights with Fawful. We both agreed to lead; I made the preparations, while Fawful went on to be a dictator. He has just as much responsibility in this incident as I do.

Wario: So it's both your guy’s fault that you didn't pick up the purse.

Geno: Exactly!

Wario: Smart, veeeeery smart!

Geno: Thank you, Wario.


Geno: Yes, Wario.

Wario: Oh yes, Booster, why shouldn't I fire you?

Booster: Because unlike these two, I don't think Daisy would've bought the Piranha Plant without me.

Wario: But you didn't do anything when the team attacked Silver.

Booster: True. But I was of no use for the team then. I am a good team leader though. Geno failed at being a team leader, and Fawful hasn't been a team leader yet.

Wario: Ok, I've made my decision.

Wario snatches Fawful's gun.

Wario: Fawful, you're FIRED!

Fawful: What?! How is that possible?! Geno did way worse then me!

Wario: You two shared leadership responsibilities, which gives him a good argument, plus I've wanted to get rid of you for sometime now; now's my chance. Now OUT OF MY BUILDING!

Fawful walks up the stairs into the Cheep Cheep Blimp.

Fawful: Stupid Wario, he's going to regret getting rid of me... Maybe not today, but soon, and for the rest of his life.

Wario: I must say I'm impressed. After five episodes, this is the first time for both of you to privately speak with me, and you both provided excellent arguments. I almost had to fire you, Geno, so let this be a lesson to you.

Geno: I'll learn from this, Wario

Geno and Booster leave.

Narrator: 1 job, now 9 people fighting for it, Wario's search for an apprentice continues.

Wario: Shaddup!

Wario shoots the narrator with Fawful's gun.

Wario: Hmm, this gun has possibilities.

Read on!

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