Wario's Apprentice

By Badyoyo

Wario: Last week on Wario's Apprentice, after some ideas on what I should do for the losers, I brought Large Fry back and threw Yoshi in just for fun. I also put ten people to the test of getting people drafted into Roy Sports Hall and, at the cost of some Roy's best superstars, they managed to do it. Geno got immunity for this episode, while thanks to being nice, Goomba King, the factory owner, was fired. He got drafted by Roy's Sports Hall in the supplemental draft, so he should've just listened to orders. This week I’ve got a different task for them.

The Apartment, 7:00 PM

Geno is about to get his "You got immunity" cake out of the apartment's fridge for his efforts last episode. He opens the fridge and finds it's not there.

Geno: All right, who took my immunity cake?

Large Fry: Who do you think? The same person that took my carrot missiles.

Biff Atlas: And my sports drinks!

Bandit: And my chocolate coins!

Booster: And my beetles!

Snifit 3: Ummmm... Sir... I have them.

Snifit 3 gives Booster a jar of beetles.

Booster: I have no idea what you're talking about!

Booster eats the jar, glass and all.

Lakitu: I don't see what you find wrong with Yoshi, he's behaving pretty well if you ask me.


Lakitu: No one liked that stuff anyway.

Geno: Well, I'm sick of it. I say we get that crazy green freak!

All but Lakitu: YEAH!

Everyone but Lakitu charge into Yoshi's room. They see him having a romantic dinner with Birdo. The dinner includes all the food that he stole.

Geno: All right! Party’s over!

Yoshi: NOOO!

Geno takes his food back, the others do as well, and Biff Atlas flips over the table for no reason. Snifit 3 hands Booster another jar of beetles to convince Booster that Yoshi didn't take them. When they leave, Yoshi’s dinner is, of course, ruined. Yoshi starts crying.


Birdo: Don't cry, Yoshi, they were just being meanies.

The phone rings, Booster picks it up

Booster: Yello!

Wario: Never say Yello to me again! I'm your maybe future boss!

Booster: All right, good bye.

Wario: What?! NO-

Booster hangs up

Biff Atlas: Who was it?

Booster: Wario.

Biff Atlas: All right, where do we need to go?

Booster: He never said.

Biff Atlas: ... Excuse me.

Biff Atlas shoves Booster down and rolls him down a hallway, then picks up the phone.

Biff Atlas: Sorry Wario, Booster here was an idiot.

Wario: Just meet me at Diamond City Hotels in one hour. I just got a headache.

Biff Atlas: Will do. Goodbye.

Bandit: So where do we need to go?

Biff Atlas: We’ve got to deal with the crying Yoshi for a little less than a hour.

Bandit: Just our luck.


Biff Atlas: Thank DAD! It's time to go.

Birdo drags a crying Yoshi to the front door.

Geno: He's STILL upset about that.

Birdo nods and opens the front door. The contestants then take a walk to Diamond City Hotels, where they see Wario and Jimmy T.

Wario: Good morn-


Wario: GAH! What is that infernal noise?

Wario puts his hands over his ears.

Birdo: It's Yoshi crying. We can't find any way to make him behave.


Wario: If I make you team leader, will you shut up?!

Yoshi: YOSHI!

Wario: Good, now here's your next mission. I have managed to get the Diamond City Hotel staff to take a one-day vacation, so you nine now have to take their place. I have given all the guests buzzers. If a guest is not satisfied, he'll press the buzzer; if you get three buzzes, the game will end in failure. If you manage to survive, then you win the challenge. You have ten hours to survive - get to work! Jimmy T. and his eight clones (made by Dr. Crygor) will watch over all of you. Yoshi, what's your team name?

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Wario: Very well, I'll see you all in my office.

Wario gets in his Wario car and starts to ride off the WarioWare. He then comes back

Wario: Oh yeah, one last thing: don't let Mario near the hotel.

Wario drives off again


Yoshi: Ok, Yoshi manage hotel-

Bandit: Hey, I'm the hotel manger here! I should be doing the big boss stuff!

Snifit 3: Ummmm... and... I own every hotel on Earth.

Bandit: Really?

Snifit 3: Um... Bazinga...

Bandit: What?

Snifit 3: Uh... Something one of the characters on my show says... Uh... I forget his name.

Yoshi: Snifit 3 in control of microgames in elevators!

Snifit 3: Um... Ok

Bandit: HELLO! What about me?!

Yoshi: Bandit work front desk so he doesn't steal money.

Bandit makes a face and Yoshi slurps up his mask.

Bandit: AIEEEEEEE! I'll do it!

Yoshi spits out Bandit's mask and Bandit picks it up.

Yoshi: Ok, Lakitu will be the gardener.

Lakitu pulls a shovel out of his cloud.

Yoshi: Large Fry will be head chef.

Large Fry: I shall not fail you!

Large Fry starts heading off toward the kitchen.

Yoshi: Booster is security.

Booster: All right!

Yoshi: Hmm, Geno is the bellboy!

Geno: I thought so.

Yoshi: Birdo... is maid.

Birdo: Whatever you say, sweetie.

Birdo gives Yoshi a kiss.

Yoshi: ... Where was Yoshi? Oh, Biff Atlas is lifeguard for pool.

Biff Atlas blows a whistle.

Yoshi: Ok, let's go do some work!

Everyone starts going to their rightful jobs, and the first guest comes in.

Bandit: Hello, and welcome to the Diamond City Hotel. How long would you like your stay to be?

Dry Bones: Forever.

Bandit: I'm sorry, but I can't have you here forever.

The Dry Bones presses his buzzer and leaves the building.

Bandit: Dang it!

Bandit turns on the intercom.

Bandit: This is a vocal memo to all hotel employees: we've got our first strike, and now we need to follow the guests’ demand precisely.

Snifit 3 hears the intercom in the elevator people are using to play microgames.

Snifit 3: Ummm, okay.

Snifit 3 keeps giving everyone easy microgames. Meanwhile, Lakitu is digging in the hotel garden.

Lakitu: I'm a gardener and I'm okay! I work all night and I work all day!

Lakitu then hits something.

Lakitu: I'm a- Huh? What's this?

Lakitu puts down his shovel and pulls out Petey Piranha.

Petey: Phew! Thanks, I've been down there for weeks.

Lakitu: Why... were you down there?

Petey: I was wandering around, then a gardener thought I was a weed so she sprayed me with weed killer; I just barely survived. Then I was planted at the bottom of that garden. Thank you for getting me out.

Lakitu: You're... welcome...?

Petey: Anything I can do for you?

Lakitu: No... thanks...

Petey: All right.

Petey flies off.

Lakitu: That was awkward.

Lakitu stares at Petey flying away, then continues his work

Meanwhile, Large Fry is working in the kitchen.

Large Fry: Let's see, what's the special today? ... Ah! ... Fruit Swooper Salad? ... Okay!

Large Fry takes out a Swooper and begins to mince it.

Meanwhile, Booster and Yoshi are asleep in their offices.

Yoshi: ZZZZZ... Yoshi... ZZZZZ... Yoshi…

Booster: ZZZZZZ... Fakarancha... ZZZZZZ... Fakarancha…

Meanwhile, Geno is taking people's suitcases

Luigi: Now remember, to put everything in alphabetical order, don't forget about my foot massage or my sponge bath!

Geno: Geeze! When did Luigi become such a dictator?!

Luigi: You called me a dictator! Waaaaah!

Luigi runs out of the room. Birdo passes Luigi

Luigi: This work staff stinks! I'm going to press my buzzer!

Birdo sucks up Luigi's buzzer.

Birdo: Oops! I thought that was some trash.

Luigi: Waaaaah! This world hates me!

Luigi jumps out an open window

Luigi: Goodbye, cruel world!

Just before Luigi hits the ground, Biff Atlas's arm pops out of the wall and saves him.

Biff Atlas: Aw, I thought I saved Mario's life. Not this weirdo.

Biff Atlas tosses Luigi into a toilet and gives him a swirlie.

Biff Atlas: AHAHAHAHAHA! Man, I miss the old high school days.

With Geno and Birdo:..

Geno: We need to get working.

Birdo: Agreed

Geno: Listen, we need to impress... Well, you need to impress, I have immunity this episode.

Birdo: I guess I do... What should I do though?

Geno: People don't like to give maids money, so just don't work for money and do your work faster.

Birdo: Great idea!

Birdo works twice as fast for no pay.

Birdo: I'm going to become Wario's Apprentice, why would I need pay from other customers?

Birdo cleans all the hotel rooms in under five hours. She returns to Bandit.

Bandit: Impressive.

Birdo: Thank you.

Bandit: I see you have a few coins on you.

Bandit is looking at the coins Birdo made before she decided to work for no pay.

Birdo: Yeah, you want th-

Bandit snatches Birdo's coins.

Birdo: -em?

Biff Atlas: Hey! That's my stupid joke!

Bandit: Aren't you supposed to be at the pool?

Biff Atlas: Oh yeah.

Woman: Help! Help! My son is drowning!

Biff Atlas: I'm on my way!

Biff Atlas flies into the pool and saves the child

Kid: Aw, Mister! I was just playing "Mario Polo"!

The kid rings his buzzer and Biff Atlas drops him back in the water.

Meanwhile with Lakitu…

Lakitu: I'm a gardener and I'm ok, I work all night and I work all-


Lakitu: WAAAGH! Where did you come from?!

Petey: I can't let such a kind favor go unpaid! I have to do some kind of work!

Lakitu: Fine.

Lakitu hands Petey some seed packets.

Lakitu: I'm not a fan of planting flowers, so you plant them and water them.

Petey: I will do it, O humble leader.

Lakitu: (Humble leader...? Maybe I should keep this guy around just a bit longer.)

Large Fry starts to sing some French song while making a crepe suzette. Suddenly Snifit 3 walks in.

Large Fry: Yes?

Snifit 3: Umm... What was I going to say...? Um... Oh yeah... The elevator's closed, so can I help you cook?

Large Fry sighs.

Large Fry: Snifit-

Snifit 3: 3.

Large Fry: Snifit 3, you must understand, cooking is an art. You must have pinpoint accuracy, perfect techniques; hands and eyes should not just coordinate... they must have a brotherhood.

Snifit 3: Um... Can I watch you cook then?

Large Fry: Very well, just don't touch the nutmeg. If nutmeg gets all over this, this entire hotel will explode.

Snifit 3: Um... That would hurt us... right?

Large Fry: We'd be like Biff Atlas

Biff Atlas: I heard that!

Biff Atlas comes through a wall.

Large Fry: Shouldn't you be watching the pool?

Biff Atlas: The pool's closed. Just like our hours. See?

Large Fry and Snifit 3 turn to a clock to see that they have ten minutes left.

Large Fry: Well, I guess that means this dessert will be the last course of the day.

Large Fry leaves the kitchen to serve one last meal.

Meanwhile, Booster is supposed to be watching through the hotel’s camera. We see Mario come into the building and ring his buzzer. Suddenly the television in the lobby turns on with Wario's face onscreen.

Wario: That's three buzzers! With eight minutes left on the clock. You guys failed!

Bandit and Mario are the only people in the lobby.


Mario: You-a stole my money in-a Paper Mario. This-a is my revenge.

Bandit: But how did you get past the front door?!

Mario: It was unlocked.

Bandit :... BOOSTER!

Booster comes running.

Booster: Yeah?

Bandit: Did you let Mario in?

Booster: No, I was asleep the whole time. So no one let him in.

Bandit: Your one job... ONE JOB! Is to keep Mario away from this hotel by LOCKING... THE FRONT... DOOR!

Booster: Okay, I'm sorry.

Bandit: Sorry?! That's all you have to say?! We lost the challenge because of you!

Suddenly Yoshi and his team all gather in the lobby. Bandit decides to bring the conversation to a halt. Yoshi now waits for their warp pipe.

Bandit: I know who's going today.

Booster: Listen, it's not my fault. It's Yoshi's.

Yoshi: Can Booster and Bandit be quiet until we get to office?

Snifit 3: Um... please?

Booster: Fine!

Bandit: Fine by me!

Biff Atlas: We all sort of screwed up. I mean, if Bandit didn't make that mistake right off the bat, we might've won that challenge.

Bandit: Can we not talk about the stupid challenge?

The warp pipe appears and everyone gets in.

Wario's Office

The 9 get into their chairs, while Jimmy T. and Dr. Crygor sit in their chairs. Finally, Wario also sits in his chair.

Wario: Well, ten hours ago. I sent you guys to work at a hotel,; in the last ten minutes, you all managed to screw it up. Yoshi, where do you think you guys went wrong?

Yoshi: Yoshi don't know.

Wario: Yoshi, did you even do anything?

Yoshi: ... No.

Wario: Yoshi, you have to stop making these rookie mistakes, you're making Shy Guy look good.

Yoshi: Yoshi sorry.

Wario: Sorry ain't going to cut it! Bandit! You were having a massive argument with Booster earlier. Why?

Bandit: Because, Booster didn't lock the door to the hotel from Mario, and we could've won if it weren't for him.

Booster: Yeah, but we could've also won if Bandit had let that Dry Bones live in the hotel forever.

Bandit: All you had to do is press one button, press one giant red button. I had the hard stuff.

Booster: You should know how to deal with stuff because you're a hotel manager.

Bandit: That's irrelevant and you know it!

Wario: SHUT UP! Both of you! You both screwed up. Biff Atlas, what do you have to say to this?

Biff Atlas: I say Booster is just copying what I said before we entered the warp pipe.

Wario glares at Booster.

Wario: Birdo, very impressive in the field today.

Birdo: Thank you, Wario.

Geno elbows Birdo.

Birdo: Geno told me to do it.

Geno starts making hand gestures meaning "No! No!" Birdo doesn't recognize them and thinks he’s waving.

Birdo: Hi, Geno.

Wario: Geno, did you tell Birdo to work harder? Perhaps so you didn't have to do more work?

Geno: No, I did my fair share of work; I carried everyone's luggage up to their rooms. I didn't have the job of cleaning.

Wario: Hmmm... Lakitu... OH MY DAD, WHAT IS THAT THING?!

Wario and everyone is shocked that Petey has been standing right behind Lakitu the whole time.

Lakitu: He's my humble servant, Petey Piranha. I saved his life, and now he works for me.

Petey: Shall I be a footstool for your tired feet, Master?

Lakitu: That would be nice.

Lakitu pokes his feet out of his cloud and uses the back of Petey's head as a footstool.

Wario: Impressive on getting a minion of your own.

Lakitu: Thank you, Wario.

Wario: Large Fry, I have received good reviews on your food. That's nice to hear.

Large Fry: Thank you, Wario, care to try a crepe suzette?

Large Fry offers Wario a crepe suzette that Wario eats before Large Fry can even light it on fire.

Wario: MMMM! MMM! Tasty! Snifit 3, you let everyone off easy. And that's pretty much everyone. So Geno, who would you fire?

Geno: I would fire Booster. Bandit was always hard at work. I never saw Booster or Yoshi, I think Booster isn't that good though.

Wario: Booster?

Booster: Bandit, he made the mistake at the beginning of the challenge

Wario: Bandit?

Bandit: Booster, for making the mistake at the end of the challenge

Wario: Birdo?

Birdo: I would fire Bandit, because he didn't look that busy when I was in the lobby with him.

Wario: Biff Atlas?

Biff Atlas: Bandit for making that mistake at the beginning of the challenge.

Wario: Large Fry?

Large Fry: No one really comes to mind but Booster.

Wario: Lakitu?

Lakitu: I'm not very sure either, I guess I would have to say... Bandit.

Wario: Snifit 3?

Snifit 3: ... Um... Yoshi... for... um... giving Booster and Bandit the bad roles.

Wario: Okay Yoshi, choose two people who aren't Geno to send to privately talk with me.

Yoshi: Bandit and Booster.

Wario: Ok, the rest of you are safe.

Biff Atlas, Birdo, Geno, Lakitu, Large Fry, and Snifit 3 hop into a warp pipe.

Wario: I want to have a little talk with you three.

Wario leads the 3 idiots up to the top floor that we all know and love.

Wario: Now that we're alone, Yoshi, why shouldn't I fire you?

Yoshi: Yoshi was team leader, and team almost make it to end.

Wario: ... That's it?

Yoshi: Yep!

Wario: Okay, Bandit, why shouldn't I fire you?

Bandit: Well, I was actually doing my job, and I only made one mistake, and that was when I was just getting ready. Besides, it's easier to press one button once than to connect all the phone lines and tell Large Fry to give Geno specific food through room service. I had the most work out of them. Booster fell asleep on the job, who falls asleep on the job?! And Yoshi was the one who gave Booster that job when Yoshi knows I'm a hotel manager!

Wario: Okay, good points. And Booster, why shouldn't I fire you?

Booster: Because... uh... hmmm... Oh yeah! ... My team won the first challenge!

Wario: ...

Bandit and Yoshi :...

Wario: Bandit, you're safe.

Bandit: Thank you.

Wario: Yoshi, don't make this mistake again.

Yoshi: Yoshi promise.

Wario: Wonderful. Booster, you're FIRED!

Booster: WHAT?! Why?!

Wario: Let's see, you've gotten lazy in challenges, you've only really been helpful in episode one, you once said you were a weakness to your team. You have no good reason to use to defend yourself, you should've been fired a long time ago. Bandit, Yoshi, you're dismissed.

Bandit and Yoshi leave.


Booster climbs the stairs and gets on the Cheep Cheep Blimp.

Booster: Gee, I thought I was improving... Boy was I wrong. I guess the past always comes back to bite you in the butt.

Narrator: One job, now eight people working for it, Wario's search for an apprentice... continues.

Wario: Yoshi, would you be a dear?

Yoshi comes back and swallows the narrator.

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.