It is an unusually dark day in Poshley Heights and the Excess Express has just arrived from Rogueport. Out of the train comes a suspicious figure in black. He is carrying a suitcase with him and his face is hidden. A Toad walks up to him.
Toad: We need to check your bag in case there’s a bomb or something. I’ve seen Valcerie too.
Figure: Why should I have to listen to you? That is my own business!
Toad: I understand that, but one time our train was almost bombed and attacked by a swarm of monsters. We now check baggage more carefully. Now hand over the bag!
The figure gets out a gun.
Figure: Now I don’t want to be hasty, do I?
Later…
The Toad Conductor is thrown in an alley with tape on his mouth and tied in ropes. The figure appears.
Figure: My traveling is my own business.
The figure walks out into the town and goes behind a bush and pushes a button in the grass, which makes an elevator rise out of the ground. The figure walks in and comes out in a fortress of some sort. An X-Naut greets the figure.
X-Naut: We need to learn of the identity of the people who stopped our plans last time.
Figure: I have traces of the DNA with me in this suitcase, as well as a bomb. Do not make it explode, it’s very sensitive!
X-Naut: Right away, sir!
The X-Naut takes the suitcase and walks away. The figure walks into an office of some sort with pictures of criminals all over Plit. Notable criminals included in the pictures are Bowser, the Shroobs, Fawful, Dimentio, and others. He sits on his chair.
Figure: So it begins!
The figure takes his cloak off to reveal Lord Crump with a leader badge. Lord Crump walks into a cell of some sort and we see that Grodus’s head is there.
Lord Crump: I found how to really takeover the world and keep order!
Grodus: Why do I care? If I had a body I would cut your throat!
Lord Crump: Now now, ex-boss let me get this straight! I have traces of DNA, and once they have been analyzed by the scientists we will use a bomb to kill them.
Grodus: I do not care for such insolence, Crump! I want it to be MY world, not yours!
Lord Crump: Exactly! Your lust and malice for power have poisoned your mind! Sadly, this is where we part, ex-boss.
Grodus: You wouldn’t dare!
Lord Crump pushes a button that sends Grodus’s head flying all the way to Dimentio’s cave.
Dimentio: Oh my, my, my, what a sad thing this is! Like a kid whose dog has died, a piece of something flies at me like, well, I don’t know! I have an idea! I’ll seal you inside a mirror and send you to a French museum.
Later…
Inside a French museum, Grodus is trapped in a mirror, but he has his body back. A kid walks up to him.
Grodus: Kid! I need you to get a-
The kid is picking his nose and leaves.
Grodus: Come back!!!
Back with Lord Crump…
X-Naut PhD: We are finishing analyzing the DNA of the hairs you found. Also we are tracking their locations.
Lord Crump: I need to see who the DNA belongs too.
X-Naut PhD: Yes sir!
The X-Naut PhD goes over to the computer.
X-Naut PhD: Tic-tac, can you show me the people who the DNA belongs too?
The computer, Tic-tac (Tec’s sister computer), shows pictures of Mario, Princess Peach and Bowser
Lord Crump: So it’s Mario who foiled our last plan. The princess was with him, I guess, and the turtle guy I’ve never seen before.
Lord Crump thinks for a moment, then speaks again
Lord Crump: Oh yes I have, back at Twilight Town.
Twilight Fans: TWILIGHT TOWN! IS THERE A NEW MOON TOWN?
Lord Crump: How did they get in here?
Lord Crump throws the Twilight fans out of the base.
Lord Crump: I know who the first two are, but the third... He’s on the posters of most wanted outlaws on Plit. Who is that turtle guy?
X-Naut PhD: That’s Bowser Koopa, king of the Koopas and Mario’s biggest rival. It says that Mario and Bowser have been fighting each other since Mario arrived here. He has a wife and eight kids along with a halfling for a child.
Lord Crump: Enemy of Mario, you say?
X-Naut PhD: He has helped Mario three very rare times to face a common enemy.
Lord Crump: I have a plan! But we must be cautious!
Later…
Luigi: Thank you very much for the groceries, kind sir!
Toad: No problem!
Luigi walks home and sees Mario reading the newspaper and watching TV.
Luigi: I’ve been relaxing since Bowser hasn’t kidnapped Peach in six days!
Mario: Have you heard about the new Cowboys Stadium?
Luigi: Hey, so I’ve heard they’ve got a giant TV in it.
Voice: Mail Call!
Luigi goes outside and brings in a letter.
Luigi: It has Peach’s name on it.
Mario takes the letter and notices something strange.
Mario: Doesn’t Peach’s letters smell nice? This one smells like Wario’s armpit. This isn’t even her handwriting!
Luigi: Maybe Toad wrote it for her. You know how hard he’s working these days.
Mario: Yeah, probably! It says for me to join her for a cup of tea.
Luigi: Did she invite me?
Mario: No, it says just me on there. I’ll go right now!
Mario walks out of the house.
Meanwhile…
In Bowser’s castle, Bowser is sitting on his throne.
Bowser: It’s been six days since I’ve kidnapped Peach. I’ve got to kidnap her today!
Kammy walks in with a letter.
Bowser: What now? A complaint letter from somebody out there?
Kammy: No, actually it’s a letter from Princess Peach, my lord.
Bowser: REALLY!!! GIVE IT HERE!!!
Bowser tackles Kammy and takes the letter from her.
Bowser: Wait a minute, this doesn’t smell like Peach, it smells like Mario’s armpit. Plus this isn’t Peach’s handwriting!
Kammy: Maybe Toad wrote it. You know how hard he works these days!
Bowser: You’re probably right! I’m going to have tea with Princess Peach!!!
Bowser flies out of his castle with his Clown Copter.
At Peach’s castle…
Peach: It’s been too long since Bowser kidnapped me last. He’s planning something, I can tell.
Bowser bursts through the wall with his Clown Copter.
Bowser: How nice of you to invite me for a cup of tea!
Mario runs in at the same time.
Mario: I have a program on TV right now so don’t waste my time!
Bowser: What’s he doing here?!
Peach: Tea? Oh no, I didn’t invite you for tea.
Mario and Bowser: I knew there was something wrong with the letter.
A net falls on Mario, Bowser, and Peach and traps them.
Mario: It was a trap the whole time!
Beldam and Marilyn appear out of nowhere, and Doopliss jumps in the window. Lord Crump and five X-Nauts appear in the doorway.
Mario: Not these dorks again!
Bowser: I don’t know these people except maybe the leader in black.
Lord Crump: Buh, buh, buh huh, huh, I knew this would work! Great work, everybody! Shadow Sirens, take them to the base for interrogation! Pronto!
Beldam: Marilyn! Carry the big guy and the princess! Freak sheet, carry Mario!
Marilyn: Guh!
Doopliss: How come you don’t carry anybody?
Beldam: Because I’m the leader!
Doopliss: Plus my name is DOOPLISS!!!
Beldam: Sure, whatever.
Marilyn has to be assisted by ten X-Nauts to carry Bowser to the base, while Doopliss is forced to carry Mario. Lord Crump carries Peach and they take helicopters all the way to Poshley Heights. Lord Crump has them blindfolded so they don’t know the location of the base.
Later…
Lord Crump: I have brought you three here for interrogation today. One of you knows how to revive the Shadow Queen! You may not survive this interrogation. That depends on if you crack, though.
Thoughts go through all three prisoners’ head.
Mario: Can you take off the blindfolds now?
Lord Crump slaps Mario in the face.
Lord Crump: Answer me!
Mario: How should I know?
Lord Crump gets out a remote and presses a button. A TV showing Family Guy comes on.
Peter: I am random!
Lord Crump: Wrong one!
Lord Crump turns the TV off and presses another button, which electrocutes Mario.
Mario: Ok, ok, don’t get serious here! Isn’t the shadow Queen dead forever?
Lord Crump and several X-Nauts rip the blindfolds off Mario, Bowser, and Peach. Bowser’s is ripped off extra hard, which makes him scream and whine like a little girl. Lord Crump electrocutes Mario again
Bowser: YAY! Do it again!
Lord Crump this time pushes the button to electrocute Bowser on danger level, knocking him unconscious.
Peach: Why are you asking us? We don’t know!
Lord Crump shocks Peach with his remote.
Mario: We don’t know! For the last time!!!
Lord Crump is about to shock Mario but throws the remote in the trashcan.
Lord Crump: Davis! Tell Jones that we are doing separate interrogations!
Davis: Yes sir!
Later…
At a table at one side is Lord Crump and on the other is Bowser. In the middle is a box of donuts.
Lord Crump: I need you to tell me something, and why not tell something over a plate of donuts? Straight from Krispy Kreme!
Bowser is already digging through the donuts and putting them in his mouth
Bowser: I’ll answer your stupid question as long as I have more donuts!
Lord Crump: Sure thing, first thing’s first! How do you revive the Shadow Queen?
Bowser is stupidly stuffing his mouth with donuts.
Bowser: Uh, what’s a Shadow Queen? Sounds like an ancient Greek God or something.
Lord Crump: Davis, I see he’s got a confused look on his face. He doesn’t even know what it is.
Davis: I’ll arrange a Mario interrogation.
Lord Crump: This wasn’t really an interrogation at all.
Davis: What do we do with the Evil King?
Lord Crump: Lock him up!
Bowser: What?!
Soon…
Mario is tied to a chair in an interrogation room while Peach is stuck in the electric chair.
Davis: Don’t you think the electric chair is a little too brutal?
Lord Crump: Grodus didn’t have a problem with the electric chair. Ah, I suppose you’re right.
Peach is tied up and is now hanging over a cauldron of acid.
Lord Crump: I will ask you how do you revive the Shadow Queen.
Mario: The Shadow Queen was destroyed years ago!
Lord Crump lets Peach fall closer to the acid.
Lord Crump: Strike one! I will ask you again, how do you revive the Shadow Queen?
Mario: Use a magic spell?
Peach is almost in the acid and has part of her hair burned off.
Lord Crump: Strike two! I will ask you one last time or your girlfriend dies!
Mario: (whispering) I have only one option left. I remember! (aloud) I think I know who might know more about the Shadow Queen.
Lord Crump: And who might that be?
Mario: Count Bleck!
Lord Crump is shocked but does not drop Peach in the acid.
Davis: What should we do now?
Lord Crump: Lock the red cap in the same cell as the king. Lock the princess in a separate cell.
Davis: Yes sir!
He does the X-Naut cross hand.
Later…
Lord Crump is calling on the phone. The person answers.
Count Bleck: Bleh, hehe, heh! Bleck residence!
Lord Crump: Yes, have you heard about the Shadow Queen?
Count Bleck: Sh-Shadow Queen?
Lord Crump: Yeah, the Shadow Queen.
Count Bleck: You mean the one that destroyed that one town and-
Lord Crump: Yes, that one! Do you know how to revive it?
Count Bleck: Are you… saying that my sister is DEAD?!
Lord Crump: Yes!
Count Bleck: Who killed her?!
Lord Crump: Mario!
Count Bleck: HE DID?!
Lord Crump: We are asking for your help to bring her back to life!
Count Bleck: Well let me think. Let me look at my schedule; my wife makes me watch these boring movies every night. I’ll come by and help you. Where do you live again?
Later…
Lord Crump: Welcome, Count Bleck!
Count Bleck: Where was my sister when she died?
Lord Crump: I will lead you there! Davis, take the prisoners, we’re going back to the Palace of Shadow!
Davis: Yes sir!
Count Bleck: I will inflict pain on the one who murdered my sister. She was almost as dear as Timpani!
Dimentio appears out of nowhere and meets Count Bleck.
Dimentio: Salutations!
Count Bleck: Why is he here?
Lord Crump: I sent for him! Now Count, Dimentio, Davis, Jones, prisoners let’s go.
Lord Crump leads them to the Palace of Shadow, with Mario tied to Crump’s back. Peach being carried by Davis, and Dimentio and Bleck carrying Bowser. They walk to the place where Bowser, Kammy, and Grodus fought Mario.
Bowser: I fell through there!
Mario: Yes you did, and while we scuffled Grodus got away with Peach.
Peach: This was worse than what Dimentio did to Luigi. I felt cold as the darkness overcame me.
Dimentio: Yet she was saved, as the prophecy says.
Dimentio looks at them.
Dimentio: Come on, we have a ways to go!
Lord Crump heads to the Shadow Queen’s tomb, followed by the two X-Nauts Davis and Jones, Dimentio, Bleck, Mario, Bowser, and Peach. The Shadow Sirens appear at the entrance to her tomb.
Crump: I told you to stay back at the base!
Beldam: We couldn’t resist!
Marilynn: Guh!
Doopliss: What Beldam said.
Count Bleck: An evil presence still lurks here.
Bleck is the first to see the coffin. Tears fill his eyes.
Count Bleck: I could have saved you! Curse Count Bleck for his stupidity!
Mario, Bowser, and Peach are dropped on the ground before the Shadow Queen’s coffin.
Dimentio: Do what must be done, Bleck!
Lord Crump: I demand it! Davis, the bomb!
Davis gets the suitcase and lights a bomb that explodes over the ruin of the Shadow Queen.
Lord Crump: Now Bleck, use the spell.
Count Bleck nods and chants a spell in an ancient dark language, and a shaking is heard and shadows appear over the coffin. The Shadow Queen appears in her shadow form.
Shadow Queen: I HAVE RETURNED!
Count Bleck falls to his knees with tears of joy. Everyone but Mario, Bowser, and Peach starts to laugh. An evil grin appears on the Shadow Queen’s face.
Shadow Queen: Big brother, is that you?
Count Bleck: It is indeed Blumiere, prince of the Tribe of Darkness.
Lord Crump: I have brought you back for a reason, my lady.
Shadow Queen: Speak quickly, black one, for I will kill you if you delay too long!
Lord Crump: Together we can build a perfect world!
Shadow Queen: Such insolence, I spit at your words!
Just as the Shadow Queen moves to kill Lord Crump, Dimentio interrupts. He bows to her.
Dimentio: I pledge my allegiance to you!
Beldam, Marilyn, and Doopliss do the same.
Beldam: Your wish is my command!
Marilyn: Guh!
Doopliss: What Beldam said!
Count Bleck: You know I will help you in any way possible.
Shadow Queen: Oh Bleck, it’s been so long!
Bleck: I left our kingdom because of my love for a human girl named Timpani. I still think about you everyday!
Shadow Queen: Ok, that was weird.
Count Bleck: I have an announcement to make! I am the Shadow King!!!
Everyone but the Shadow Queen gasps.
Doopliss: But how is that possible? You’re brother and sister!
Shadow Queen: Nobody would marry me! My father just said he was the Shadow King one day.
Mario: We will destroy you once more! Otherwise the city of Rogueport will be ruined for sure, and eventually all of Plit and then the universe.
Shadow Queen: You are correct, plumber! Soon the universe will be mine!
Mario: You’ll have to go through me first!
Bowser: Ah!!! It’s the PHANTOM OF THR OPERA!!!
Peach: I would slap you if I had a free hand, Bowser! That’s the Shadow Queen! The one who possessed me!
Mario: That is strange! Remember the Shadow Queen possessed Peach, Bowser was possessed by Cackletta, and Elder Princess Shroob and Luigi was possessed by Dimentio!
Shadow Queen: So that leaves the last of the four heroes, Mario, to be possessed. By me!
Mario: I’m strong-willed! I’ll never give in!
Shadow Queen: We’ll prove it by this!
The Shadow Queen sends a shadow cloud over Mario’s head and Mario struggles before getting a hypnotized look on his face. Mario bows to the Shadow Queen, taking a knee with his left hand on the leg that is down.
Mario: I will follow your every command!
Shadow Queen: Good!!!
Bowser starts panicking.
Bowser: She’s ugly!
Shadow Queen: As for you two, you will be executed in my honor!
Bowser screams like a little girl. Peach has a dirty look on her face.
Bowser: It’s the end of the world as we know it! I’m not agreeing to that!
Shadow Queen: I have a riddle for the fat one, and he will become my servant if he doesn’t answer correctly. Here it is!
The halls are silent for a thousand
and five years this place has fallen into ruin.
The one will come back and rise
again to destroy all of life! The immortal one never sleeps, it is always
watching from its tomb.
Who am I?
Bowser: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
Several hours later…
Bowser: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Peach: That’s a dead give away! I knew it!
Bowser: Um, you?
Shadow Queen: Yes, that’s correct, but you’ll be executed nonetheless.
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Bowser, Peach, and Lord Crump are thrown in a cell. For three days they are fed little food or water.
Bowser: I’m stuck here because YOU had to send me a fake letter!
Lord Crump: It’s not my fault we’re getting killed!
Peach: Actually it is! You’re so bent on taking over the world that you have no idea what you’re doing!
Doopliss walks by with three cans of beans.
Doopliss: Shadow Queen says this is your last supper, so enjoy while you can.
Doopliss throws the cans in the cell. Bowser ues his teeth to open up his can and eat them without cooking them.
Peach: Why do you eat it raw? You could get sick!
Bowser: The fire in my stomach cooks the food.
Peach: Thank you for explaining!
Lord Crump opens his up and eats them. Only Peach doesn’t eat.
Peach: I wish Mario were here! He’d find a way to get us out.
Bowser: I could break the wall down!
Lord Crump: And alert all the guards? Not so smart!
Bowser: That’s a lot of trash coming from someone who got us here in the first place!
Peach: Shut up, you two! There’s a large hole over here that I can fit through! Lord Crump could fit through here too.
Bowser: What about me?
Peach: I don’t know about you, Bowser. But I won’t leave you behind. In that drainpipe we can find a shortcut to my castle.
Peach and Bowser have bank robber masks on. Lord Crump has a robber’s costume. Peach easily slips through the hole. Lord Crump manages to slip through as well. Bowser is last.
Peach: Come on, you can do it!
Bowser: Ok, I’ll try!
Bowser tries but gets stuck in the hole and Peach and Lord Crump pull him out hard and where he almost screams. Peach leads them down a pipe and takes them to Toad Town.
Doopliss comes by the cell six hours after they escape.
Doopliss: Hey guys! Time to die! Hey, they’re not here?
Several minutes later…
Shadow Queen: What do you mean they’re not here?!
Doopliss: They flat out escaped!
Count Bleck: Count Bleck thinks that they went to regroup!
Shadow Queen: We must find them!!!
Doopliss: Yes, my queen!
Beldam: What about your new toy? He should know where they’re going.
Shadow Queen: Good call! Bring him in.
Mario walks in followed by Dimentio. Mario now wears a black pair of overalls and a black hat with a sideways M. Instead of his normal eye color, his eyes are red with anger. His shirt is a dark purple.
Mario: Why did you call me?
Shadow Queen: I need you to find our prisoners! You know where they went to hide! I want you to hunt them down! You got that, Mr. M?
Mr. M: Yes, my lady!
Shadow Queen: I want two groups of hunters. In one group I want the Shadow Sirens and in the other I want Mr. M and Dimentio.
Count Bleck: What shall Count Bleck do?
Shadow Queen: Stay here! You need to set up security for this place!
Meanwhile in Toad Town, Luigi is shocked at hearing what happened to Mario.
Luigi: Wh… What! No, no, that’s impossible!
Bowser: Hey! If you think about it, in Mario and Luigi SS and PiT I was possessed. In Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door Peach was possessed. In SPM you were possessed, so that means…