Chapter 15: The Last Temptation of Yoshi and Waluigi
FLASHBACK!
Waluigi goes inside and notices a fat Yoshi with a white feather on his head.
Old Yoshi: GET OUTTA MAH HOUSE!
...
Waluigi and Toadsworth wake up.
Yoshi: Aww...
Yoshi runs off.
Waluigi: That was weird.
END FLASHBACK!
The Koopa Cruiser lands outside the house of the old Yoshi from Chapter 4. Waluigi, Wario, Popple, and Yoshi head into the house.
Old Yoshi: GET OUTTA MAH HOUSE, FOOLZ!
Popple: Why are we here again?
Waluigi: In a minute! Yoshi, stand next to that other Yoshi.
Yoshi does. Waluigi takes a step back.
Waluigi: Don’t they kind of look alike?
Popple: No.
Wario: No, that’s stupid. But they do look similar, though.
Popple: Yeah.
Waluigi: ... It’s uncanny, I think they just might be... You know! Related!
Wario: So what?
Waluigi: We gotta make him look nice so they can have a reunion!
Popple: No way!
Wario: Especially not if it comes outta my wallet!
Waluigi: Please, we never do anything for me!
Wario: *sigh* The story’s almost over, I guess we might as well...
Waluigi: Yay! To Poshley Heights!
Meanwhile, Toadsworth, P.T., Dodo, and Cudge are in the desert around Sub-con.
Giant Pokey: YOU’VE ATTACKED THE POKEYS OF THIS DESERT! NOW YOU WILL FORFEIT YOUR GAMES TO ME!
P.T.: Video games?
Cudge: No, like, your game is over. The euphemism we use.
P.T.: Oh.
BOSS!
Toadsworth: 3000/3000
P.T.: 3100/3100
Dodo: 3100/3100
Cudge: 3200/3200
Vs.
Giant Pokey: 10,000/10,000
Party: DANG!
Toadsworth uses QuadraCrusher! 4000
damage!
Toadsworth faints!
P.T. throws a Hot Potato at Giant Pokey!
300 damage!
Dodo throws a Hot Potato at Giant Pokey!
300 damage!
Cudge uses a 1-Up Deluxe on Toadsworth!
Giant Pokey uses Nasty Needle Cloud
on Cudge! 1000 damage!
BOSS!
Toadsworth: 1500/3000
P.T.: 3100/3100
Dodo: 3100/3100
Cudge: 2200/3200
Vs.
Giant Pokey: 5400/10,000
Toadsworth uses Mushroom Drops on the
party! Everyone gains 200 HP!
P.T. throws a Bob-omb at Giant Pokey!
500 damage!
Dodo throws a Bob-omb at Giant Pokey!
500 damage!
Cudge attacks! 100 damage!
Giant Pokey uses Needle Spray! 200
damage to each party member!
P.T. was hit! Grim Reaper bites Giant
Pokey! 110 damage!
BOSS!
Toadsworth: 1500/3000
P.T.: 3100/3100
Dodo: 3100/3100
Cudge: 2200/3200
Vs.
Giant Pokey: 4090/10,000
Toadsworth attacks! 120 damage!
P.T. uses a Mix Flower! 400 damage!
Dodo uses Nasty Needle Cloud! 1000
damage!
Cudge attacks! 100 damage!
Giant Pokey uses Nasty Needle Cloud
on Toadsworth! 1000 damage!
BOSS!
Toadsworth: 500/3000
P.T.: 3100/3100
Dodo: 3100/3100
Cudge: 2200/3200
Vs.
Giant Pokey: 2470/10,000
Toadsworth uses a Max Mushroom! Toadsworth
is at full health!
P.T. uses a Mix Flower! 400 damage!
Dodo uses a Mix Flower! 400 damage!
Cudge summons Captain Falcon!
Captain Falcon: C’mon! Show your moves!
Captain Falcon runs over Giant Pokey
in the Blue Falcon! 800 damage!
Captain Falcon: YES!
Giant Pokey uses Nasty Needle Cloud
on Dodo! 1000 damage!
BOSS!
Toadsworth: 3000/3000
P.T.: 3100/3100
Dodo: 2100/3100
Cudge: 2200/3200
Vs.
Giant Pokey: 870/10,000
Toadsworth summons Bow!
Bow: Veil!
Bow makes the party intangible!
P.T. throws a Bob-omb! He misses!
Dodo uses Nasty Needle Cloud on Giant
Pokey! 1000 damage!
Giant Pokey: AAAA... I’M TAKING YOU
WITH ME!
Giant Pokey uses Kamikaze Needle! 10,000
needles are shot at the party!
The party’s intangible, they all miss!
Giant Pokey faints!
Toadsworth, P.T., Dodo, and Cudge win!
Toadsworth gains a level! P.T. learns
how to throw Bob-ulks! Dodo gains a level! Cudge gains 999 exp!
BATTLE OVER!
Giant Pokey becomes a Crystal Star. Cudge picks it up.
Cudge: He was a Star Spirit? Who knew?
Toadsworth: Now we can summon him!
Dodo: Now we can summon him!
Meanwhile, every other party member is in Poshley Heights’s restaurant, teaching Yoshi table manners.
Vivian: Okay Yoshi, remember not to eat the waiter.
Yoshi: Awww...
Game Guy: I think I’ll have the crab.
Grambi: They don’t serve crabs.
Birdo: Where are Toadsworth, Cudge, and the dumb ones?
Popple: Something about experience points, or something.
Luvbi: Yoshi, remember that the placemat mazes and crayons aren’t for big kids like you.
Yoshi: But... Yoshi want solve the maze!
Waitress: Okay, which of you ordered the banana split?
DK: ME!
Waitress: Here you go!
DK: ... NO CHERRY! WHY NO CHERRY?!
DK starts slamming his fists and making a scene.
Grambi: Yoshi, remember to never act like Donkey Kong when you’re in public.
Yoshi: Okay!
DK: DONKEY WANT CHERRY!
Waitress: Um... we-we’ll see what we can d-do? Please don’t eat me!
Meanwhile, Toadsworth and the other three are on the boat from Seaside Town to Diamond City.
Cudge: Why are we riding a boat?
Toadsworth: Rumor has it that there’s an underwater beast attacking sailors. So we’re gonna stop it!
Cudge: How do we even begin to-
CRASH!
Something’s crashed into the boat.
Toadsworth: It’s here! We must jump into the water!
Cudge/P.T./Dodo: No.
Toadsworth pulls the sword part of his cane out and points it at the party.
Cudge/P.T./Dodo: Okay, okay!
Everyone jumps into the water. Kingfin is waiting for them.
Kingfin: DIE!
Dodo: DIE!
Everyone Else: AAAAHHHH!!!
Cudge: How can we breathe underwater?
Toadsworth: Who cares?
Cudge: That’s a good motto.
Cudge pulls out a Red Shell and throws it at Kingfin’s ribcage.
Kingfin: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Kingfin explodes and leaves behind a Crystal Star. Cudge picks it up.
Cudge: Well what do you know, another Star Spirit!
P.T.: We’re getting a lot.
Meanwhile, at the Poshley Heights Fashion Store Thing...
Birdo: Okay, if we’re going to use Yoshi as a Pokemon for the upcoming contest in Hearthome City, we’ll need to find some decorations.
Waluigi: Again, we’re not dressing him up for the contest!
Luvbi: I think he needs a bow, then he’d look pretty!
Waluigi: He’s not a girl!
Birdo: Maybe some lipstick.
Waluigi: He’s not even a pet! He’s a person just like you or me! Well... as much of a person as a Yoshi can be... even if he WAS raised in the wild!
Birdo: If only we could do something about that saddle... Does it come off?
Waluigi: Every Yoshi wears a saddle! I have reason to believe they’re attached!
Luvbi: What about his shoes?
Birdo: I saw a Yoshi without shoes once, I think they can come off. Yoshi, can you take your shoes off?
Waluigi: Yoshi, don’t listen to her!
Yoshi: Yoshi so confused!
Birdo: Take off your shoes!
Waluigi: Leave them on!
Birdo spits an egg at Waluigi.
Waluigi: OW!
A few feet away...
Wario: Wahaha! This is rich!
Vivian: You think maybe we should help?
Game Guy: Nah.
Grambi and DK come up to the three with popcorn.
Grambi: Did we miss anything?
Game Guy: Birdo and Luvbi are trying to make Yoshi pretty, but Waluigi keeps trying to make them stop. Obviously it’s not working, since he’s - you know - Waluigi.
Waluigi’s voice: Yoshi, don’t do that! No!
Birdo’s voice: Maybe if we got some glitter...
Waluigi’s voice: NO!
Popple walks up to the group.
Popple: Man, Goldbob is loaded!
Vivian/Game Guy/Grambi: ... What?
Popple: Umm... I mean-
Everyone is then kicked out of the store and arrested. Meanwhile...
Toadsworth: Here we are at the top of Fawful Fanboy Tower. I can’t believe we’ve had a reason to come once over the course of the story.
Dodo: Here we are at-
P.T. grabs Dodo’s beak. Cudge hits the ? Block and gets a cool badge. Dodo tries the same thing, but it doesn’t work.
Cudge: All right!
All the cultists appear out of nowhere.
Party: Woah!
Cultists: FAWFUL... FAWFUL... FAWFUL...
A Shayde appears.
Shayde: Fawful would not approve... You die here.
P.T.: Cudge, quit stealing everything!
Cudge: Never!
Toadsworth: First Popple and Wario, now Cudge...
Shadye: Prepare yourselves.
Dodo: Prepare yourselves.
Shayde: Umm... Yeah.
Dodo: Umm... Yeah.
Shayde: ... I’m going to kill you now.
The Shayde becomes a monstrous version of Robirdo.
Toadsworth: Oh no! That boss from Chapter 7 that we never spoke of again! We’re doomed!
Cudge: I don’t remember her... him... it.
Toadsworth: You came later on.
Cudge: Oh. Speaking of Chapter 7, I still want a pizza.
Shayde: DIE!
Party: Noo!
BOSS! Meanwhile...
Guard: Okay, you’re free to go. Turns out only one of you was guilty.
Luvbi: No duh...
Vivian, Wario, Waluigi, Birdo, Yoshi, Game Guy, Grambi, Luvbi, and DK are let out of their cell.
Popple: What about me?!
Guard: Sorry!
Popple: ...
Birdo: Don’t worry, I’ll suck you into my snout and spit you out as an egg, then we can sneak you out!
Popple: ... I don’t know whether to be amazed or grossed out.
Later, everyone is in front of Yoshi’s dad’s house.
Waluigi: Okay Yoshi, come on out!
Yoshi is wearing a feather on his head like his dad. All this time and that’s the only difference.
Yoshi: Yoshi feel weird.
Popple: No one likes dressing formally.
Toadsworth, P.T., Dodo, and Cudge appear. All of them but Toadsworth fall over.
P.T.: (I still need to finish getting that guy’s leaves...)
Toadsworth: We got some Crystal Stars and a cool badge from Fanboy Tower!
Vivian: Were there any problems?
Toadsworth: Nothing that we couldn’t handle as a team!
Cudge: In other words, me, Dodo, and P.T. did stuff while Toadsworth hid.
Toadsworth: Yes.
Waluigi: Okay, I’m taking Yoshi inside, you all can eavesdrop from out here.
Waluigi leads Yoshi inside.
Waluigi: Old Yoshi.
Old Yoshi: Wazzat?
Waluigi: Did you ever have a son?
Old Yoshi: Yeah. When he hatched, my wife got sick and had a game over, so clearly that wasn’t a real Yoshi baby but a monster in disguise!
Waluigi: ... What?
Old Yoshi: So I went to Bumpsy Plains, ditched him, and hauled tail.
Waluigi: But-
Old Yoshi: Sometimes I wonder what it’d have been like if I kept him. I wonder how the monster grew up to be.
Waluigi: He’s right here, why don’t you-
Old Yoshi: I wonder if I did the right thing, releasing the monster back among its kind.
Waluigi: Dude! Come on, he’s right here next to me!
Old Yoshi: ... So you’re my son.
Cudge: ... Wrong side of him.
Waluigi: Cudge, why are you in here?!
Cudge: I couldn’t hear from outside.
Waluigi: Sir, the dinosaur next to me is your son!
Old Yoshi: I never had a son, other than that Pixl next to you. My Yoshi son was swapped out for that monster that used its psychic powers to give my wife a game over! Weren’t you listening?!
Waluigi: But that doesn’t even-
Old Yoshi: Young man, look at your friend the hammer. Now look at me. Now back at your friend, now back to me. Sadly he isn’t me. But he can smell like he’s me with Old Spice.
Waluigi: ... Come on, Yoshi. And Cudge. I think we’re done here.
Everyone’s now walking back to the Koopa Cruiser.
Vivian: I’m sorry your dad’s crazy, Yoshi.
Yoshi: Yoshi don’t mind...
Luvbi: I would.
Yoshi: Yoshi just glad Yoshi met Papa once.
P.T. catches up to everyone.
P.T.: Guys, I went back and finished getting all his leaves and he gave me a photo of him, his wife, and an egg. Weird.
Waluigi takes it and Popple takes a peek.
Popple: Looks like it’s from when they were all still a family.
Waluigi gives it to Yoshi.
P.T.: Hey!
Waluigi: You should keep this.
Yoshi: Yoshi will.
Now everyone’s getting on the ship.
Waluigi: I enjoyed being allowed to do something I want for once! Maybe you guys should give me a chance more often!
Everyone else: ... Nah.
Waluigi: Aww...
Soon, Game Guy is piloting the Koopa Cruiser. Inside...
Vivian: Okay, so all we have left to do is go to the Dragon’s Nest, the Gauntlet, the Glitz Pit, and the Underground Castle, and then we’ll be able to take on Fawful!
Luvbi: Aren’t the Gauntlet and Dragon’s Nest only available after the end?
Vivian: Oh.
P.T.: I was at the Underground Castle, I already got the Crystal Star.
Yoshi: Yoshi went to Glitz Pit! Found author character there!
FLASHBACK!
Birdo: Now you can join us!
Popple: Fine, whatever.
Yoshi walks up, dragging P.T.
Yoshi: Yoshi went to coliseum nearby! Yoshi fought Weird Man! Yoshi won!
END FLASHBACK!
Popple: Yeah, didn’t you come back from that when I rejoined? How’d that go anyway?
Yoshi: Well, it start after we find Popple in lava cave. Most go to village, but Waluigi and Yoshi go to Glitz Pit!...
...
Yoshi and Waluigi head into the Glitz Pit.
Yoshi: Why we here?
Waluigi: So I can get stronger and prove that I’m not a wimp!
Gooper Blooper is behind the counter.
Gooper Blooper: *sigh* I can’t believe it. I was the Stalker Boss for this game and now I’m reduced to such a minor role!
Waluigi: You’re here?!
Gooper Blooper: You’re here?!
Yoshi: What?
Waluigi: Yoshi, that guy’s the reason I met Toadsworth and you!
Yoshi: He attack at opera!
Waluigi: What are you doing here?
Gooper Blooper: Petey and I got evicted from the windmill, and since girls aren’t attracted to hobos and Shadow Mario won’t let us stay at his place, we’re stuck here!
Waluigi: Too bad.
Gooper Blooper: Anyway... “Welcome to the Glitz Pit, where you bet an item to win an item. Win and you win both. Lose and you lose both. Bet something stupid and Petey will OHKO you.”
Waluigi: Okay. Come on, Yoshi, let’s look around.
Waluigi walks into a room.
Waluigi: YOU!
Shadow Mario: Hi.
FLASHBACK!
Waluigi tries hitting a ? Block but Shadow Mario comes in.
Shadow Mario: No way, that’s mine! HYARGH!
...
Waluigi and Birdo are in Diamond Cave.
Waluigi: What are you doing here?
Shadow Mario: It’s never really explained.
END FLASHBACK!
Waluigi: Now we can settle all our differences in the arena!
Shadow Mario: Actually that first time was my imposter, Cosmic Mario.
Waluigi: What? But why?
Shadow Mario: He likes to be a jerk.
Waluigi: ... Oh.
Yoshi: Yoshi want make a bet and fight!
Waluigi: Okay Yoshi, let’s do this.
Tweeter: I’m probably the last Tweeter left in the world.
Waluigi: Whatever.
Waluigi sets down a boomerang on the table.
Gooper Blooper: Okay, you’ll fight a guy in an overcoat and possibly win some Mushroom Drops. Now which one of you is gonna fight?
Waluigi: Not it!
Yoshi: B-But Waluigi want fight! Why Yoshi even here?
Waluigi: I got scared...
Yoshi: ...
Yoshi’s thrown into the arena.
Voice: ROUND 1 - FIGHT!
P.T.: Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Gondola Tour!
P.T. is in a gondola that falls and nearly hits Yoshi.
Yoshi: Wah!
P.T.: Hey, it’s you. Thanks for letting me come here, by the way.
Yoshi swallows P.T. whole and lays his egg.
Egg: (muffled)
Voice: FINISH HIM!
Yoshi: Weird Man not finished already?
Voice: ... Fine. FATALITY! FLAWLESS VICTORY!
Back in the lobby...
Yoshi: Yoshi win! Want join party?
P.T.: Sure, why not.
Waluigi: Hey, it’s the guy from the train and the opera and Wart Island!
P.T.: Toadsworth? Is that you?
Waluigi: No.
P.T.: Rock Star?
Waluigi: Oh, now you remember him?!
P.T.: So no? ... Are you Mario?
Waluigi: I’M WALUIGI!
P.T.: Riiiight. And I’m parodying Shadow. Oh wait...
Waluigi: This place is a waste of time, let’s just go!
Gooper Blooper: Yeah, you’d better run, coward!
Waluigi: ... Excuse me?
Gooper Blooper: Figures you’re too scared!
Waluigi: ... Oh no you di-in’t!
Waluigi slams down a Tanooki Suit.
Waluigi: Lemme at ‘em!
Gooper Blooper: Fine, you’ll fight someone who wants that and if the planets align and you actually manage to win then you’ll get a Fire Flower.
Waluigi heads into the arena.
BATTLE!
Waluigi: 2300/2300
Vs.
Groove Guy A: 800/800
Waluigi automatically uses Suplex! It
fails!
Groove Guy dances! No effect!
Waluigi: 2300/2300
Vs.
Groove Guy A: 800/800
Waluigi automatically uses the Whirluigi!
200 damage!
Groove Guy kicks! 40 damage!
Waluigi: 2260/2300
Vs.
Groove Guy A: 600/800
Waluigi automatically uses Spirit Bomb!
500 damage!
Groove Guy dances! No effect!
Waluigi: 2260/2300
Vs.
Groove Guy A: 100/800
Waluigi automatically uses a Fire Flower!
100 damage!
Groove Guy faints!
Waluigi wins!
BATTLE OVER!
Waluigi is still in the arena.
Waluigi: I did it! I won!
???: HOLD IT!
Rawk Hawk appears.
Rawk Hawk: I’m also after your Tanooki Suit! Prepare to get RAWKED in a boss fight!
Yoshi: Yoshi help!
P.T.: I’ve got nothing better to do.
BOSS!
Waluigi: 2300/2300
Yoshi: 2000/2000
P.T.: 2100/2100
Vs.
Rawk Hawk: 3000/3000
Rawk Hawk: Prepare for the RAAAAAWK!
Waluigi: N-No! I’m gonna beat you without
relying on my friends!
P.T.: What about me?
Waluigi: We’re not friends.
Yoshi: What about me?
Waluigi: You’re like the son I never
had, so you’re technically not my-
Rawk: RAAWK!
Rawk Hawk slides into Waluigi! 100
damage!
Waluigi: I wasn’t ready yet!
Waluigi uses the Whirluigi! 200 damage!
Yoshi copies Cowboy Jed! Yoshi throws
a Spiny Blue Shell! It misses!
P.T. attacks! 44 damage!
Rawk Hawk Cannonballs into Waluigi,
then Yoshi, then P.T.! 50 damage each!
Waluigi: 2150/2300
Yoshi: 1950/2000
P.T.: 2050/2100
Vs.
Rawk Hawk: 2360/3000
Waluigi tries to pick up Rawk Hawk,
but gets punched! Waluigi takes 30 damage!
Yoshi throws a Spiny Blue Shell! 500
damage!
P.T. throws a Fake Item Box! 300 damage!
Rawk Hawk uses Suplex on P.T.! Half
damage!
Waluigi: 2120/2300
Yoshi: 1950/2000
P.T.: 1025/2100
Vs.
Rawk Hawk: 1560/3000
Waluigi uses the Whirluigi! 200 damage!
Rawk Hawk: You’re pretty good. But
you’re no match for the Hawk!
Yoshi eats Rawk Hawk! He’s trapped
in an egg!
Announcer: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
6... 7... 8... 9... 10! RAWK HAWK IS OUT!
Waluigi, Yoshi, and P.T. win!
Waluigi gains a level! Yoshi gains
a level! P.T. gains a level!
BATTLE OVER!
Gooper Blooper: Okay, here’s your stinkin’ Fire Flower!
Waluigi: I can’t believe we did all that for a Fire Flower.
The Rawk Hawk egg hatches. It’s a Crystal Star.
Yoshi: Wow! Who knew?
Waluigi: I’m feeling pretty confident! Let’s see who I can fight when I bid this!
Waluigi slams down a Shine Sprite.
Gooper Blooper: Okay, if you win you get a Grand Star. Go get ‘˜em. Loser.
Waluigi: Hey, I was able to beat two people for the price of one match, didn’t I?!
Gooper Blooper: Anyone can beat Groove Guy!
Waluigi: Awww...
Waluigi enters the arena.
???: So we face off in the arena.
Waluigi looks.
Waluigi: Shadow Mario...
Shadow Mario pulls out his brush.
Waluigi: This is it! You pushed me around on the train, you taunted me on the way to Diamond Castle, and now we face off!
Shadow Mario: Again, that was Cosmic Mario on the train. And he went down in one hit.
Waluigi: But it’s haunted my dreams ever since! Especially when you said you would haunt my dreams back during the tunnel!
Shadow Mario: I was joking.
Waluigi: Too late for apologies now!
Shadow Mario: ... You’re stupid.
Voice: ROUND 3 - FIGHT!
Shadow Mario: I’m not some weak sub-boss, I’m the real deal!
Shadow Mario strikes Waluigi hard.
Waluigi: Aaaah!
Waluigi grabs the paintbrush and starts beating Shadow Mario with it.
Waluigi: Take that! And that! And some of this! And one of those! AND AS MANY AS IT TAKES UNTIL YOU WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, SCREAMING BECAUSE OF MEEEE!!!
Shadow Mario: (Psycho...)
Waluigi breaks the paintbrush over his own knee and throws the pieces away. He grabs Shadow Mario and gives him a Suplex.
Shadow Mario: OW! OKAY, UNCLE!
Voice: FATALITY!
Waluigi gets a Grand Star from Gooper Blooper.
Waluigi: HA! Hey Yoshi, other guy, did you see that?
Yoshi walks out of the restroom.
Yoshi: Did Waluigi fight yet?
Waluigi: ... You saw it though, right?
P.T. is asleep on a bench.
Waluigi: ...
Gooper Blooper: Well you have yet to beat the toughest fighter of all!
Waluigi: Oh yeah?! How do I fight him?!
Gooper Blooper: Wager a single Mushroom.
Waluigi does.
Gooper Blooper: Now fight!
Waluigi goes into the arena.
Waluigi: Who are you?
Petey: I’m Gooper’s wingman.
Waluigi: Prepare to-
Petey flaps his wings, sending Waluigi out of battle.
Petey: I win.
In the lobby...
Waluigi: That was insane! Let me try again!
Waluigi bets another Mushroom and fights Petey again and loses again. Waluigi keeps trying until he’s down to his last Mushroom.
Waluigi: This is the last cheap item that I can bid.
Gooper Blooper: We appreciate all the Mushrooms you’ve been donating!
Waluigi: Grrr...
Petey: Flap!
Petey starts flapping his leaves, but Waluigi does the Whirluigi, becoming a tornado. Then he stops.
Waluigi: Aha! My idea worked!
Petey: You got lucky, kid! It won’t happen again!
Petey tries flapping his leaves again, but Waluigi does the Whirluigi again.
Petey: ... Sludge time!
Petey starts spitting sludge all around, but Waluigi dodges all the sludge balls headed for him. Eventually Waluigi is able to grab Petey and suplex him.
Petey: OKAY! I GIVE, I GIVE!
Voice: ... Waluigi won?! Wow!
Gooper Blooper: NO! THAT CAN’T BE!
Waluigi: Gimmee mah prize!
Gooper Blooper: Rrrrr! Fine, you get your Mushroom and a Golden Mushroom.
Waluigi: Don’t I get my other Mushrooms back?
Gooper Blooper: Nope! Those were considered separate rounds!
Waluigi: ...
P.T. is still asleep.
Waluigi: Come on, Yoshi, we’re going to Chucklehuck Village. Drag that guy, he’s coming with us.
Yoshi: Okay!
...
Yoshi: And that’s what happened in Glitz Pit! That how Waluigi be strong and Weird Man join us!
Popple: I seriously don’t believe that Waluigi was able to beat up that many guys. You had to have helped!
Vivian: Popple, Yoshi’s just being a good friend to Waluigi and making him look better, don’t point it out!
Waluigi: But it’s true!
Wario: Yeah right. Well anyway, I guess that means we’ve done everything that we can. It’s time to go after Fawful!
And soon the Koopa Cruiser is floating over Fawful Tower.
Game Guy: Okay, there it is, Fawful Tower. If we kill Fawful, do you think the world will go back to normal?
Grambi: I’m not sure, but I do know that with the Dark Star’s power, he’s become DAD-X. And with the Almighty Oscars around, his magic is beyond compare! They’re giving him his power so we gotta destroy them, which means destroying magic.
Vivian: But I’m part Star Spirit! What does that mean for me?
Toadsworth: That perhaps you can’t go a Finally Fantastic without dieing.
Vivian: I just hope this will turn out okay.
Wario: Blah, blah, blah, let’s just do this already!
Game Guy: Okay, I’m lowering us down.
The Koopa Cruiser lowers down to a ledge
on Fawful Tower. All that’s left now is to kill Fawful and all magic to
save Plit from DAD-X.
Chapter 16: Final Round
Everyone’s at Fawful Tower now, except Toadsworth is staying on the ship to watch Luvbi.
Group A: Vivian, Game Guy, Cudge, Waluigi
Group B: Popple, Birdo, Wario, DK
Group C: Grambi, Yoshi, P.T., Dodo
Vivian: Okay guys, Fawful should be at the very peak, so let’s focus on getting there.
Cudge: Thank you, I was thinking he’d be somewhere in the middle.
Vivian: ...
The path is rather uneventful. The first incident happens when Popple’s group finds themselves in the tower’s Public Bathroom.
DK: DONKEY NEED POTTY!
Popple: Ugh... Fine, hurry up though!
DK goes to the far stall and opens it.
Voice: OCCUPIED!
DK is hit with a blast. Culex comes out of the stall!
Culex: I am no longer Culex, but Super Culex!
Popple: Hey, uh, didn’t Vivian and a few others beat you up back on Wart Island?
Super Culex: Yes, then I was taken to a hangar and got a tune-up. Now I am BACK!
Super Culex starts firing lasers at the whole party.
Super Culex: CAN YOU FEEL MY WRATH?! I HAVE CRYSTALS NOW!
Four colored crystals lower down and shoot elemental beams alongside Culex’s lasers.
Popple: Someone stop those stupid jewels!
Birdo spits an egg at the Water Crystal, shattering it. DK grabs the Fire Crystal and Earth Crystal and smashes them against each other. Wario punches the Wind Crystal into the wall.
Super Culex: HOW DARE YOU?! I still have my wrath!
Wario grabs Super Culex and does a Pile Driver on him.
Super Culex: YOW!
Birdo spits a fireball in his face.
Super Culex: It burns!
Super Culex gets up, then Donkey Kong grabs him and starts wailing on him like in Donkey Kong Jungle Beat. As a final strike, Popple rams himself into Super Culex.
Super Culex: Enough! I can’t take... anymore... I’m off... to join those... who’ve died... in this story...
Super Culex starts glowing.
Super Culex: I can see... the original Plit!
Super Culex explodes and everyone takes cover. Then the smoke clears and everyone gets back up.
DK: Potty!
Popple: Fine, you’ve earned it.
Eventually, the same team comes across what looks like a very shiny Hooktail.
Gold Dragon: My name is Gold Dragon. You’ve killed my brothers and sisters. Prepare to die.
The Gold Dragon breathes a golden beam of fire, which the team promptly jumps out of the way of.
Wario/Popple: Gold... Must... steal...
Birdo: Guys, it’s trying to kill us!
Gold Dragon slashes the greedy men with his claws.
Wario: Waaaaa!
Popple: Boo, I say!
DK: DONKEY PUNCH!
Donkey Kong uses his punch to defeat the Gold Dragon. The dragon becomes a Boo that shines real bright and vanishes.
Voice: One to go!
Popple: Wow DK, you’re awesome at killing dragons!
Meanwhile with Grambi...
Yoshi: Robot!
Grambi: Huh?
FLASHBACK!
Popple, Yoshi, and Toadworth’s unconscious body are fleeing from the Sub-conTech factory.
Yoshi: OWOWOWOWOW!
Popple looks and sees the robot.
Popple: Hmm...
END FLASHBACK!
P.T.: Fawful rebuilt one of his robots?
Dodo: Fawful rebuilt one of his robots?
Grambi: Well it’ guarding our only path, so we’ll have to fight it.
The party continues.
Magnus Von Grapple 3.0: INTRUDERS! INTRUDERS! INTRUDERS!
Magnus’s chest opens up and sucks in Grambi.
Grambi: HEEEELP!
Yoshi starts throwing eggs like mad and P.T. tries hammering Magnus’s leg, but it’s no use. Magnus aims and shoots Grambi out at Dodo.
Grambi/Dodo: Ow...
Dodo picks up Grambi, puts Grambi in his mouth, and then spits him out at Magnus!
Magnus: ILLOGICAL! ILLOGICAL! ILLOGICAL!
Dodo: Illogical! Illogical! Illogical!
Magnus explodes. Dodo tries to explode.
P.T.: That was fun.
Grambi: More like weird, gross, and confusing.
Soon the team comes across the final dragon, which resembles Zombone.
Skull Dragon: Let it be known that I always envisioned the death of the other dragons taking place. But I never once saw my own. This means that I am immortal and will knock you down - Forever.
Yoshi: What?
Skull Dragon charges at the team.
Grambi: So while I was stopping Cortez, you were killing guys like this?
P.T.: Yeah, but I think he’s the strongest.
Grambi: OH GOODY!
P.T.: Really?
Grambi: No!
Skull Dragon crabs Dodo and swallows him whole, so now Dodo’s trapped in the ribcage.
Yoshi: We rescue you, Dodo!
Yoshi sticks his tongue onto the skull of the dragon and tries to remove it, but the dragon is pulling back.
Grambi: ... We have to pull them further apart for it to work better! You pull Yoshi back, I’ll get the dragon.
P.T.: You got it, Dad.
Grambi: I’m Luvbi’s father, not yours!
P.T.: Sorry, Oprah. That happens a lot.
Grambi: I’m not Oprah either!
P.T.: Sorry, Luvbi.
Grambi: Luvbi is my daughter!
P.T.: I thought that was Wendy.
Grambi: Bowser’s daughter! Look, can we just do this?!
P.T.: Fine, Steve.
Grambi: ...
Grambi and P.T. pull Yoshi and the Skull Dragon further, getting Yoshi’s tongue to pull the skull off of the dragon’s neck bone, defeating the dragon. Yoshi swallows the skull and it comes out as an egg... which the newly freed Dodo eats (to copy Yoshi). Then the body becomes a Boo that shatters.
Voice: Good job, you killed all the dragons! Have a Crystal Star.
A Crystal Star is dropped onto Dodo’s head. Good thing he’s wearing a helmet. Soon all three parties reach a few switches and stairs that require outside help. After a puzzle that’s too confusing to put into words, let’s just say that everyone’s where they need to be and now Grambi’s team is on a platform, face to face with an old foe.
Party: Midbus!
Midbus: SO YOU THE WEAKLINGS WHO COME TO WREAK HAVOC ON OUR NEW RULER WHO IS FAWFUL, DAD-X!
P.T.: So what, you really got this far by sucking up to him and that alone?
Midbus: ... YOU HAVE SILENCE! ASSISTING THE ASCENSION OF DAD-X AND ENFORCING HIS RULE! IT IS HERE WHERE YOUR LONG, TIRING JOURNEY SHALL END!
Midbus beats his chest.
BOSS!
Grambi: 4000/4000
P.T.: 3990/3990
Yoshi: 3000/3000
Dodo: 3500/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 9001/9001
P.T.: It’s... it’s...
Midbus: OVER NINE-THOUSAND, THAT JOKE
LACKS HUMOR ANYMORE!
P.T.: ...
Grambi uses Train Run! Midbus is run
over by a train! 1000 damage!
P.T. uses a Mix Flower! 400 damage!
Yoshi copies Amazee Dayzee! Yoshi sings!
200 damage!
Dodo sings! 200 damage!
Midbus puffs up his chest, walks over
to Dodo, and starts swinging his fist!
Grambi: 4000/4000
P.T.: 3990/3990
Yoshi: 3000/3000
Dodo: 3500/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 7201/9001
Grambi summons Rawk Hawk!
Rawk: RAAAAWK!
Rawk Hawk Cannonballs onto Midbus!
300 damage!
P.T. throws a Hot Potato! 300 damage!
Yoshi sings! 200 damage!
Dodo sings! 200 damage!
Midbus unleashes Pig Punch on Dodo!
Dodo faints!
Grambi: 4000/4000
P.T.: 3990/3990
Yoshi: 3000/3000
Dodo: 0/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 6201/9001
Grambi uses a 1-Up Deluxe on Dodo!
P.T. summons Giant Pokey!
Giant Pokey: NEEDLES!
Giant Pokey uses Nasty Needle Cloud!
1000 damage!
Yoshi sings! 200 damage!
Dodo uses Nasty Needle Cloud! 1000
damage!
Midbus uses Belly Flop on Yoshi! 500
damage!
Grambi: 4000/4000
P.T.: 3990/3990
Yoshi: 2500/3000
Dodo: 1700/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 4001/9001
Grambi uses Power Triangle! 900 damage!
P.T. attacks! 100 damage!
Yoshi sings! 200 damage!
Dodo uses Belly Flop! 500 damage!
Midbus puffs up his chest, walks over
to Grambi, and starts swinging his fist!
Grambi: 4000/4000
P.T.: 3990/3990
Yoshi: 2500/3000
Dodo: 1700/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 2301/9001
Grambi uses Bubble Bomb! 300 damage!
P.T. uses a Mix Flower! 400 damage!
Yoshi sings! 200 damage!
Dodo uses Nasty Needle Cloud! 1000
damage!
Midbus unleashes Pig Punch on Grambi!
Grambi faints!
Grambi: 0/4000
P.T.: 3990/3990
Yoshi: 2500/3000
Dodo: 1700/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 401/9001
P.T. uses a 1-Up Mushroom on Grambi!
Yoshi sings! 200 damage!
Dodo sings! 200 damage!
Midbus throws an iron ball at P.T.!
400 damage! P.T. is dizzy!
Grambi: 1000/4000
P.T.: 3590/3990 (dizzy)
Yoshi: 2500/3000
Dodo: 1700/3500
Vs.
Midbus: 1/9001
Midbus: (panting) Ugh... You... have
not... had my... defeat... yet...
Grambi looks at Midbus funny! Midbus
faints!
Grambi, P.T., Yoshi, and Dodo win!
Grambi learns Mega Triangle! P.T. gains
444 exp.! Yoshi gains a level! Dodo gains a level!
BATTLE OVER!
Midbus falls over... into the abyss.
Midbus: DAD-X, I’VE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILED!
Party: ...
P.T.: Hey, we finally got rid of Midbus!
Grambi: And now it’s just the Oscars that remain before Fawful.
The group heads forward and comes across the Almighty Oscar, the one that’s pointy.
Grambi: Hmm, now that I get a good look at it, this one reminds me of my wife.
Dodo: Hmm, now that I-
Yoshi holds Dodo’s beak. The statue comes to life!
Jaydes the Neutral: DAD-X’s magic will not be compromised.
Grambi: Say, you look an awful lot like my wife. Have we met?
Jaydes: No.
Grambi: ... Are you sure?
Jaydes: Yes.
Grambi: Aww...
Yoshi and Dodo ram into Jaydes, knocking her down.
Jaydes: I have been defeated.
Jaydes explodes.
Grambi: Awww...
At the same time as this battle, Popple’s team reaches the statue that resembles an evil Peach. It then comes to life.
Shadow Peach the Evil: You will perish in the Underwhere for eternity for defying DAD-X!
Popple: Rats.
Shadow Peach starts shooting all kinds of dark bolts and spheres at the party. They party is running around like crazy.
DK: DONKEY SCARED OF STATUE!
Wario: Wait! I’ve-a got it! Throw me!
Wario is thrown at Shadow Peach, but as he gets closer, Wario crabs the demon’s arms. Wario lands on the ground and starts swinging Shadow Peach around and around.
Wario: GET! TO-GETH-ER! AND! PUNCH!
Shadow Peach: LET GO OF ME!
Popple/Birdo: Oh!
Popple and Birdo get near Donkey Kong. Wario releases Shadow Peach and the three attack at once, destroying her.
Shadow Peach: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Wario: That’ll be 200 coins for saving all your skins.
Popple/Birdo: ...
Meanwhile, Vivian’s team reaches the statue that resembles Peach but not quite.
Waluigi: We’ve really had an uneventful trip.
Game Guy: Yeah, we lucked out! Our path’s the only one without any big monsters!
Vivian: We’re not done yet, guys. Can’t you hear the other groups fighting?
Cudge: So?
Vivian: It sounds like they’re fighting the other statues. So this one must be our opponent! And once we all win, Fawful will be powerless!
Cudge: Cool! In that case, CHAAAARGE!
The statue comes to life.
Rosalina the Cosmic: You shall not destroy magic.
Rosalina starts shooting all kinds of stars at the party, then turns Game Guy and Waluigi into zombies.
Game Guy/Waluigi: Braaains...
Vivian/Cudge: Eeek!
Rosalina: Your turn.
Vivian transforms into Star Vivian.
Star Vivian: Hold my hat.
Cudge looks up from his pizza.
Cudge: What?
Star Vivian shoots magic bolts at Game Guy and Waluigi, turning them back to normal.
Game Guy: Cool.
Waluigi: Hey, thanks.
Then before Rosalina can do anything, Star Vivian gets the upper hand and defeats her before reverting back to normal. Cudge is eating pizza and doesn’t even notice Vivian taking her hat back.
Vivian: There.
Rosalina: Could this be fate?
Rosalina explodes.
Popple’s voice: Hey, did you guys beat your statue?
Vivian: Yeah! Did you?
Popple’s voice: Totally! Hey Grambi, how are you guys doing?
Grambi’s voice: We won.
Vivian: Looks like we destroyed all the statues! No more magic!
Toadsworth and Luvbi appear next to Vivian.
Luvbi: I told you that warp spell would work!
Toadsworth: Fine...
Game Guy: What are you doing?
Toadsworth: Ms. Luvbi insisted on helping kill Fawful, but I said no, but she wouldn’t listen...
Waluigi: If you guys can still use magic then...
???: I HAVE CHORTLES! You are being foolish enough to have belief that Fawful left the power in the Oscars of which are Almighty? Fink-rats! Join me!
Spotlights appear and absorb the parties.
Everyone: Aaaah!