The Amazing Race MK II

By Giga Bowser NS

*Dramatic Music*

Phil: I’m standing atop the wondrous hotel situated in the center of Poshley Heights, the most beautiful city in the Mushroom Kingdom. From this city of the richest of the rich… 11 teams of two… will embark on a race across the Mushroom Kingdom… for one million coins.

We see limos driving.

Phil: Limousines are transporting the teams to the starting line. The 11 teams are:

Foshi & Xoshi step out and walk confidently/

Phil: Foshi & Xoshi. Lifelong friends from Yoshi’s Island.

Foshi: Both of us journeyed with Yoshi when Baby Mario fell from the sky. I was the red Yoshi and he was the brown one.

They’re walking through Yoshi’s Island.

Xoshi: We have been friends… pretty much ever since we were hatched. Our moms were friends so we spent a lot of time around each other.

Foshi: We feel each other’s strengths and weaknesses and understand each other.

They’re sitting atop a cliff eating sandwiches.

Foshi: I have flame powers. I recently discovered this and I’m still learning.

Xoshi: Many people have wondered if I could have powers too, but I haven’t found any yet.

Foshi: It really doesn’t matter. We can win without special powers.

Dixie & Tiny step out, literally bouncing with joy.

Phil: Dixie Kong… and Tiny Kong. Sisters from Kongo Island.

Tiny: We’ve been around on a few adventures. We’ve honed our skills and really shown what we can do.

We see them sitting on a branch watching the sunset.

Dixie: I’m her older sister, though you couldn’t easily tell.

Tiny: I’m like double her size! My name doesn’t even fit at all!

Dixie: It baffles a lot of people.

They’re eating popcorn and watching a movie.

Tiny: Dixie and I like to have fun. We’re thrill-seekers. We like to go out and simply seize the day.

Dixie: And that’s what we hope to do to the prize money!

Kat & Ana dash out, performing ninja poses.

Phil: Kat and Ana. Sisters from Diamond City, they’re extremely practiced in the art of ninjas.

Kat: Here we come!

Both: Katana!!!

They’re practicing in a dojo.

Kat: Ana and I are the most powerful ninjas in Diamond City. We’ve won many tournaments.

Ana: We’re also the youngest team to win them!

They’re laughing and playing Wii.

Ana: We also love to play videogames. When Wario came to us with an offer for a share in his videogaming industry we took it and made a few of our own.

Kat: We’ve got many talents. We’re a true force to be reckoned with.

Ana: You cannot defeat us.

Both: Ninjas…

Kooper and Koops walk out. Kooper is very excited while Koops is simply content.

Phil: Kooper and Koops. Both were once partners with Mario on his adventures. They met at a reunion.

Kooper: Koops and I met at a reunion held by Mario. All his previous party members stopped by.

Koops: Yeah… He seemed like a nice guy.

We see them eating hamburgers in Koopa Village.

Kooper: Koops is a very passive guy. He’s not all that brave, but he’s a good guy. He’s very intellectual.

Koops: Kooper always seems to be happy. Nothing upsets him. He’s awesome.

They’re walking through the forest.

Koops: As Koopas we feel that we have a certain advantage over some of the other competitors.

Kooper: We know how to do stuff. We went with Mario on crazy adventures, man! We’re unstoppable!

Koops: Mhm…

Iggy and Lemmy walk out, super excited.

Phil: Iggy and Lemmy. Siblings, best friends, and sons of the notorious Bowser.

Iggy: Ehehehe! Here we are!

Lemmy: Ready to kick some butt!

They’re playing games with the other Koopalings.

Iggy: We come from a large family. There’s six brothers and one sister.

Lemmy: Even though we’re one year apart in age, we look identical.

Iggy: Most people think we’re twins.

Lemmy: It’s actually kind of funny sometimes!
Footage of the 1991 attack is shown.

Iggy: We’ve helped our dad attack Mario four times, in 1990, 1991, 1993 and 2003.

Lemmy: Recently though, Dad hasn’t been paying us much attention.

Iggy: He’s so focused on that other “son” of his, Bowser Jr.

Lemmy: It’s almost like we don’t exist anymore.

Iggy: We hope to win this race to prove to Dad that we’re capable of so much more!

Booster and Snifit walk out. Booster has a ridiculous grin on his face and Snifit is following behind.

Phil: Booster and Snifit. Previously recluses in Booster Tower, they made themselves known in Super Mario RPG.

Booster: Is that a camera or a cheeseburger? Either way I’m hungry!

They’re doing completely random things in Booster Tower.

Booster: I like trains. We’re gonna win. My name’s Booster and I’m awesome. So tell me, are YOU a cheeseburger?

Snifit: Yes, um… Booster’s… … … special. He’s a very nice guy once you get past the… specialness…

They’re doing more random things.

Snifit: I’m Booster’s number one henchman. Snifit #1! Anything Booster wants, he gets. Although, he’s personally asked me to stop him from breaking any rules… although I’m not sure he knows what a rule is…

Booster: Of course I do! It’s what you get when you Mountain a pickle!

Snifit: …

Cakletta and Fawful exit. Cackletta has gotten her body back and they look manically evil.

Phil: Cackletta and Fawful. Counterparts to Bowser in the Beanbean Kingdom, It’s said almost no one is more evil than them.

Cackletta: We’re in this thing to win, and no one can stop us. Why?

Fawful: Because… I HAVE FURY!!!

They’re sitting in a cave doing… evil things…

Fawful: This race is the mustard on the sandwich of our ultimate control. These other fink-rats haven’t got a mustard’s chance in Bowser’s Kitchen to win!

Cackletta: I’ve gotten my body back, good as new, and now we’re ready to take the competition by storm.

Fawful: FURY!

Patrick and Norman walk out. They’re happy and excited.

Phil: Patrick and Norman! Friends from Delfino Island.

Patrick: I’m a Pianta and he’s a Noki. Okay, got it?

Both laugh, They’re shown eating fruit in Delfino Plaza.

Patrick: I’m a real go-getter. I like things done right, but I’m not afraid to have some fun as well.

Norman: I guess you could say I’m the brains of the operation and he’s the brawn.

They’re exploring Noki Bay.

Norman: We like to travel a lot and we both enjoy adventure.

Patrick: Whatever gets our adrenaline rushing is a good day in our books.

Norman: We’re a truly good team and we’re gonna win!

Beldam & Marilyn float out. Beldam looks like she’s plotting something. Marilyn looks like… Marilyn.

Phil: Beldam & Marilyn. Members of the Shadow Sirens, and former antagonists of Mario.

Beldam: Heehehehe… We are not like other racers. We are from the Shadow Realm…

They’re moving around the Shadow Palace.

Marilyn: Guuuuh! Guh guh guhhhh!!!

Beldam: Ugh… Marilyn has this speech impediment. No one knows exactly why, but the only word she can say is “Guh!”

Marilyn: GUUUUUHHH!!!

Beldam: Being her sister, I can understand what she’s saying.

They’ve moved to the Shadow Queen’s crypt.

Beldam: We failed in our battle with Mario, as many past villains did. Mario’s not here anymore though, and none of the others can match up with him. We cannot lose!!!

Marilyn: GUUH! Guh! Guh guh guuuh!!!

Beldam: Yes, that’s right! They are losers!

Koopa walks out and Paratroopa flies out.

Phil: Koopa and Paratroopa. Faithful members of Bowser’s Koopa Troop. They’re partners and best friends.

Koopa: Para and I met on our very first day of duty.

Paratroopa: We were instant friends.

They’re patrolling Bowser’s castle.

Koopa: Over the years we’ve become more and more respected in the Koopa Troop. We were there on day one. Everyone looks up to us.

Paratroopa: With our combined strengths, there is no way we can lose.

Paratroopa is flying Koopa around.

Paratroopa: I simply love having wings. They’re awesome.

Koopa: His wings are sure to come in handy.

Paratroopa: We’re friends to the end, and hopefully we’ll win one million coins!

Neil and Ella step out and take confident strides.

Phil: Neil and Ella. Expert golfers who have played Mario and his friends.

Neil: Yeaaaahhh!!! We’re gonna win!!!

Ella: Yeah, yeah, calm down!

They’re playing golf on a wide open course.

Neil: Ella and I met at the golf academy and we’re good friends now.

Ella: We’re excellent golfers, but that’s not our entire life.

Neil: We like to hike as well.

They’re walking through a forest.

Neil: Ella and I have many strengths. We know what it takes to be a winner in this race.

Ella: We’re not gonna let anything hold us back. We either win or we win. It’s that simple.

All the teams walk towards the fountain.

Phil: Can these team stand up to the stress of traveling together across nearly 50,000 miles? And who will muster… the right combination of brains, brawn, and teamwork, to win the one million coins?

We fade back to Phil on the roof.

Phil: These are the questions waiting to be answered… as we get ready to begin, the Amazing Race: MK!

He walks off and we fade to the teams standing at the fountain, looking determined.

Phil: In just a few moments you’ll be leaving on a journey across this kingdom. Along the way you’ll be required to complete various tasks. The race is divided into many legs. At the end of each leg there is a Pit Stop. Eight of these pit stops are elimination points. Now you’ll want to reach them as soon as you can, because if you’re last… you will be eliminated.

The racers cast worried glances.

Phil: When I give you the word… you can run over to your luggage… read the clue on top… and run off towards adventure. What you do after that… is completely up to you. The first team to cross the finish line… will win, one million coins!

The racers cheer.

Phil: Are you all ready?

All: YEAH!!!

Phil: Good luck then.

Everyone gets ready to run.

Phil: Travel safe…

He raises his eyebrow.

Phil: GO!!!

Episode 1
Title: Leave before I break you.

Dixie: Oh my gosh!

Kooper: Go! Go! Come on!

Cackletta: Hurry up!

Foshi trips.

Neil: Go go go! Grab the clue!

(Riiiip) (Riiiiiip)

Iggy: Travel to... Ooh!

Paratroopa: Travel to Bowser’s Castle!

Norman: Oh my gosh. We’re going there?!

Lemmy: Yeah! Awesome!

Beldam: You may only travel on one of these flights…

Kat: Dark Air departing at 3:00 PM

Snifit: Or Bowser Air departing at 4:15 PM

Xoshi: Hurry! Seats are first come, first served!

Ella: You have 150 coins for this leg of the race!

Booster: TOILETS!

Koopa: Wow! Come on! Let’s go! NOW!

The title theme plays.

Neil/Ella -- Golfers
Neil: Go! Go! Hurry up!

Ella: Let’s go! We can beat them!

Neil: Gooo!!!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Where’s the airport?

Patrick: It’s right over there! Three blocks down!

Norman: Well let’s go!

***Norman: Patrick isn’t in the best of shape, but he knew we only needed one burst of speed to get on the first flight!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Wahoo! Are you ready!

Koopa: Let’s go! Let’s get this race started!

Paratroopa: Follow me! I’ll lead the way!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! Do you know what’s better than trains?

Booster: WHAT could be better than TRAINS?!

Snifit: Plaaaaanes…

Booster: *twinkle eyes* Hold on! *ZOOOOOMMM*

Snifit: Aaaaauuuuugggggghhhh!!!

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Come, Marilyn! We can move faster if we move through the shadows!

Marilyn: GUUUUUHH!!!

Beldam: Well, then hurry up!

***Beldam: Yes, we came into the race with such an advantage.

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master - Currently in 1st place

Snifit: Yes, please! Booster wants tickets on Dark Air please!

Booster: THIS will be FUN!!!

Toadee: Here you are! Have a nice trip!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: Come on, Iggy! Pick it up! We’re going home for the first leg!

Iggy: I know! It’s so exciting!

***Lemmy: We had a really good feeling about the first leg!

***Iggy: It was our home! Home turf!

Lemmy: Come on! We gotta catch those others!

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Fawful: Our FURY shall begin!

Cackletta: Yes! Follow closely, Fawful, I think I see a shortcut!

Fawful: Excellent…

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Xoshi: Oh, man! What a tumble!

Foshi: I’m fine!

Xoshi: Yeah, but those other teams are starting to go already!

Foshi: We’d best hurry. We do NOT want to be on that second flight!

Neil/Ella -- Golfers - Currently in 2nd place
Ella: Hi there!

Neil: We’re ready to purchase our tickets! Dark Air…

Toadee: Here you are! Have a wonderful day!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Haha!!! Wait for us!

Koopa: Hi! Let us on that flight too!

Toadee: No problemo!

Paratroopa: Excellent!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Ana, wait…

Ana: Hm?

Kat: Where are we going?

Ana: I was just following everyone else…

Kat: But I thought the airport was over here…

Ana: Hmm… Well…

Kat: Come! I think I see it anyway…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Where are they going?

Dixie: They’re going over there! That’s not right, is it?

Tiny: Well, they ARE ninjas…

Dixie: Maybe they’re doing it right…

***Tiny: Once we were introduced we had a strong respect for Team Katana.

***Dixie: I mean, they have a ninja intuition that can guide them everywhere!

Tiny: Let’s just follow them and see where they go.

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers - Currently in 4th place
Beldam: Here, Marilyn. We’ve made it! Come out from the shadows.

Marilyn: GUUUH! Guh guuh guh guuh guhh guhugughh!

Toadee: Ummm… What?


Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: Hm? What is that deliciously evil screeching?

Fawful: It’s another team!

Toadee: Here you are, have a nice trip…

Beldam: Excellent!

Cackletta: Greetings! Who might you be?

Beldam: Eh, what’s it to you, ya slimy old witch?

Cackletta: My, my! Are you looking in a mirror?


Both: You’re cool.

Toadee: Would you like seats or not?

Fawful: Yes! Give us the mustard-filled tickets for the defeating of the fink-rats.

Toadee: … I’ll take that as a yes…

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: C’mon, Koops! You can do it!

Koops: I’m coming…

***Kooper: I knew Koops was slower than me, so I didn’t push him.

Kooper: You’re doing awesome!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Okay, Xosh… We’re here at the airport.

Xoshi: Where’s the ticket desk?

Foshi: It’s right over there! Look! The Delfinos are running to it! C’mon!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends - Currently in 6th place
Norman: Patrick! They’re coming! Hurry up!

Patrick: Huff… huff… I’m here!

Norman: Yes!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Shoot… I hope that wasn’t the last seat…

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Toadee: Here you two are! Have a nice trip!

Norman: Thank you so much!

Patrick: Much appreciated!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends - Currently in 7th place
Foshi: Hi! We need two seats on Dark Air.

Toadee: Oh, I’m sorry, our flight is full.

Foshi: No!!!

Xoshi: Gaaah!!! So close!!!

***Foshi: It felt terrible to come so close. We’re among the fittest competitors, perhaps compared to Neil & Ella. It was a dagger in the side.

Foshi: Come on, let’s go to the other one.

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers - Currently in 8th place
Iggy: Come on, Lemmy! The desk is over there!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Oh, hey you two. The flight is full!

Lemmy: Aww, man!

Iggy: I don’t wanna be on the second one!!!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends - Currently in 9th place
Kooper: We’re here, Koops! Let’s go over to the Bowser Air desk.

Koops: Why??

Kooper: The Dark Air one is closed already…

Koops: Ohh… Sorry…

Kooper: Hey, no worries!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Koopatrol: Here. Good day to you!

Iggy: Thanks…

Lemmy: Yeah, thanks…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas - Currently in 10th place
Kat: Huh? This is not the airport.

Ana: Why did we even come here?

Kat: I was using my ninja sense!

Ana: But…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters - Currently in Last place
Dixie: Hey! You guys!

Tiny: What’re you doing way over here?

Kat: What are YOU doing over here?

Dixie: We trusted your intuition and thought we’d follow you.

Ana: Ah… Cool…

Kat: Well… my ninja sense never lies…

Planes fly overhead.

Phil: The Dark Air flight carries Neil & Ella, Booster & Snifit, Beldam & Marilyn, Cackletta & Fawful, Patrick & Norman… and Koopa & Paratroopa.

The plane takes off.

Phil: The Bowser Air flight, scheduled to arrive an hour and a quarter later, carries Lemmy & Iggy, Foshi & Xoshi, Kooper & Koops, Kat & Ana… and Dixie & Tiny.

The Plane flies into the sunset.

PA: Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking… We are encountering extremely rough headwinds. There is slight damage to our hull, which will require a pit stop in Pipe Land. We apologize for the delay.

Neil: What?!

Norman: What?!

Beldam: Nooooooo!!!

The camera shows many exterior shots, then some interior, ending on Bowser’s throne room.

Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Second Flight - 7:15 PM
Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: We’re here!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Come on! We have to catch up!

Koopatrol: Welcome, racers! Here is your next clue!

*5 riiiiiiiips*

Kooper: Make your way…

Kat: …through Dark Land…

Xoshi: …to reach Bowser’s Castle…

Tiny: …and your next clue.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: All right! Let’s go!

Kat: Hurry! We must catch up to the others!

Ana: Sure is spooky, eh?

Kat: Darkness… A ninja’s best friend…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Look! There goes Katana!

Tiny: Run! Let’s keep up with them.

***Dixie: We really liked Katana. They were awesome!

Dixie: Do you think they’d let us join them in an alliance?

Tiny: I hope so! They’re so awesome!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Xoshi: Come on, Fosh! We gotta catch up!

***Xoshi: We all thought we were in last place. We were rushing like crazy!

Foshi: Let the fire burn down all who oppose us!

Xoshi: Ye-haw!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Look! There it is!

Lemmy: Home sweet home!

Iggy: Let’s go then!

***Lemmy: Home team advantage! Yeah!

Iggy: It’s a wonderful gloomy day, isn’t it?

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: Okay, Koops! Let’s do this!

Koops: Here I come… Huff…

Kooper: We can come from behind! Doesn’t matter if we’re in last!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas - Currently in 1st place
Ana: Wow! Look at this! Tanks!
Kat: And airships!
Ana: Wario was telling the truth! This Bowser guy is really powerful!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters - Currently in 2nd place
Tiny: Hey guys!

Kat: Oh, look! It’s them again!

Ana: Were you following us again?

Dixie: We’re sorry.

Kat: Oh, no, don’t worry. You two are cool.

Ana: You’re both pretty fast!

Tiny: Heh…

(Riiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiip)

Kat: Oh wow!

Tiny: No way!

Phil: Teams must now enter the looming Bowser’s castle and find their way through the maze of hallways to this room, Bowser’s throne room. The teams will then receive their next clue from the King of Koopas himself, also a former racer.

Ana: We’ve gotta go see Bowser? Eeek!

Dixie: What a scary thought!

Kat: Come on, you three! We don’t have time to stand around! We must catch up!

Dixie: Let’s go now! Here come the Yoshis!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: It’s right there! Yes!

Xoshi: Grab a clue!


Foshi: Come on, Xosh, we have to go find Bowser!

Xoshi: Really? How interesting!

***Foshi: I’ve met Bowser before. He seemed mighty interested in recruiting me for the Koopa Troop. What an absurd idea!

Xoshi: Do you know where it is?

Foshi: Yeah! Follow me!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Lemmy, look! Our doomships!

Lemmy: Awesome! He didn’t break them up for spare parts this time!

Iggy: Good ol’ Dad! I wonder if he’s home…


Lemmy: I’ve got your answer right here! Read this!

Iggy: He’s got our clue! Come on! Let’s go! We know where to go!

Lemmy: We’re comin’, Dad!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: This is gnarly! Look at these tanks!

Koops: Wow… Scary…

Kooper: Wouldn’t it be awesome if we got to drive those things?

Koops: There! They’re running into the castle with the next clue!


Koops: Oh, no… We have to go to Bowser…

Kooper: A-haha! That old clown! Let’s go make fun of him! Hahaha!

Koops: *gulp*

Kooper: Come on! We’re falling behind!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Okay… Where are we going?

Dixie: This castle is spooky!

Tiny: Bowser’s such an evil dude!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Hey! Follow us! We think we know where it is!

Tiny: Excellent! Lead the way!

Kat: It should be over here!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Xoshi: This castle is nuts! Do you think he put enough spikes all over the place?

Foshi: I know, right? Oh, in here! Down this hallway!

Xoshi: So you remember?

Foshi: Yeah, from last time I was here.

Xoshi: You’re awesome.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Oh, wait! I just saw the Yoshis go back that way!

Tiny: Where?

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Excellent!

Ana: Should we follow them?

Kat: They probably know! Let’s go!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: This is too easy! We’ve come this way many times!

Iggy: Hopefully our knowledge of this place will allow us to streak ahead of the other teams.

Koopat: Welcome home, Masters Lemmy and Iggy

Iggy: Haha! It feels like… strange! Coming home on this race!

Lemmy: Look! There’s the other teams!

Iggy: Go! Catch up!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Xoshi: Everyone is behind us…

Foshi: Are they following?

Xoshi: I think so, but those Koopalings already know it.

Foshi: Watch them. If they veer off we’re going in the wrong direction.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Look! Up ahead!

Dixie: Woah! Huuuuuuuge doors…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: That has to be it…

Ana: Wow… It’s overwhelming…

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Here we go!

The large door opens ominously and the 4 teams step through.

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Koops: Is this the right way?

Kooper: I don’t know! This castle is a maze!

Koops: This is awful! We have to catch the first flight!

Kooper: We’re so far behind right now…

Koops: And… those Koopatrols scare me…

Kooper: …

Bowser: BWA HA HA HA!!! So! You eight are some of the weaklings who dared to challenge this race!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: He’s even bigger in person…

Bowser: SHUT UP!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Woah… Remind me to never make fun of Wario’s battles against him ever again.

Bowser: This race is no easy task! Me and my son competed and came in THIRD! You know something has to be hard if the King of Koopas comes in third.

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: *snicker*

Bowser: Shut up, Lemmy!

Iggy: I’m IGGY!!!

Bowser: WHATEVER!!! All of you! My castle is open to you as the first leg of the race! I hope you do not take this privilege for granted! Here! Take your next clue!

(Riiiip) (Riiiiiip) (Riiip) (Riiiiiip)

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: *snicker* Bwa ha ha ha ha!!! Oh, man! That’s hilarious!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Search the Koopalings’ rooms…

Phil: Teams must now search through Bowser’s immense castle to find the rooms belonging to each of the Koopalings. Three of these rooms contain clues, but all eight rooms are spread far apart.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Oh man… We have to find rooms…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Yes, but even if we find a room, it may not have any clues in it…

Ana: That sounds tough…

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Come on! We’ll check my room first!

Lemmy: Yeah, and then my room.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Come! Follow them!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Woah! Wait for us!

Kat: We must catch up to the first flight…

First Flight - 7:45 PM - DELAYED
Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Oh, man. Finally here.

***Paratroopa: We had no idea how far we’d fallen behind. All we knew was we needed to catch up…

Paratroopa: C’mon!

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: This is awful. We’re so very far behind.

Fawful: The mustard has been eaten! Nga!

(6 riiiiiiiiiiiips)

Snifit: Travel across Dark Land…

Norman: …to the gates of Bowser’s castle…

Neil: …to receive your next clue.

Marilyn: GUUH!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: C’mon, man! Let’s rush ahead!

Koopa: Don’t wait up!

Neil/Ella -- Golfers
Ella: All right, Neil. Are you ready to go?

Neil: Oh yeah! Let’s go see this creepy castle everyone’s talking about!

Ella: This should be fun!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: All right, Pat. Ya see the castle up ahead?

Patrick: Woah! That’s messed up!

Norman: I know! It’s spooky, eh?

Patrick: No, I mean… look at Booster…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: Wheee! Again! Again! Plane ride fun! Train ride stink! Cheeseburger!!!

Snifit: Master Booster! We have to follow the clues! It’s the rules!

Booster: I’ll eat the rules later!

Snifit: >.<

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Fawful: Where is it we am are be going?

Cackletta: Look! Up ahead! What a magnificent castle! Bowser certainly has great taste… Wait, what am I saying? I flew it into the sky!

Fawful: Yes! It was a mustardly good plan!

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: You ready?


Beldam: Good… Let’s catch up!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: There it is!

Lemmy: Your room is right over there by the blue door!

Iggy: Yeah! Let’s see if there’s a clue there!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Over here, Katana! They’ve found one of the rooms!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Let’s have a look!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: Aww! Look! It says “SORRY! TRY AGAIN!”

Iggy: Rats! Let’s go to your room then!

Lemmy: Figures they’d forget someone as awesome as you!

Iggy: Hmph!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Nope, looks like there’s nothing in there…

Tiny: Dang!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Xoshi: Did they get anything?

Foshi: No! They’re not holding the clue!

Xoshi: Rats…

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Koops: Where are we, Kooper?

Kooper: I think we lost all the other teams…

Koops: I hate being lost in here… It’s so spooky…

Boo: HI!!!

Koops: WAAAAAHHH! *hides in shell*

Boo: Oh… Did I do that? I just wanted to say hi… *hides face*

Kooper: Uh…

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: My room’s just up these stairs!

Iggy: The green door!

Lemmy: Are the others following us?

Iggy: Yeah… Stinks,.doesn’t it?

Lemmy: They’re leaching off our intelligence!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Heh heh heh… I don’t think those clowns like us following them.

Dixie: Well tough luck…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: They know their way around this maze…

Ana: We can’t lose them.

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: Let’s take a look!

Iggy: I love your room! It’s a complete mess!

Lemmy: I worked hard to perfect it… Aww man! Another try again sign!

Iggy: Darn it! Darn it! Darn it!

Lemmy: We should’ve expected it not to be that easy…

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Grrr… They failed again…

Xoshi: Come on, let’s go over this way.

Foshi: Maybe we’ll find something…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Have they failed again?

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Ughh… Yes…

Dixie: This stinks!

Kat: Come on. We’re not getting anywhere following these two.

Ana: Let’s try going up there…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Wahaha! I love being faster than most of these dudes!

Koopa: Those golfers are keeping close behind, though…

Neil/Ella -- Golfers

Neil: Come on, Ella! Run towards the tanks!

Ella: Woah! Awesome!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners:

Paratroopa: Come on! We gotta go see the boss!

Koopa: All right. That shouldn’t be too hard!

Neil/Ella -- Golfers

Ella: Follow them! They know Bowser.

Neil: All right!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Man! Nothing in Wendy’s room either?

Lemmy: Why do we have such bad luck? We’re picking all the wrong rooms!!!

Iggy: Skill and luck collide…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Katana! Over here!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: What?

Tiny: This red door has spikes all over it and a sign saying “Do not enter.” I’d warrant a guess that this is a Koopaling’s room.

Ana: Open it up and see.

Dixie: Hello? Anyone home?

Roy: HEY!

Dixie: Ow… He threw an envelope at me! Hey, wait…

Tiny: That’s the clue!

Ana: Haha! Kat! Go get one!

Kat: Hello?

Roy: HEY!

Kat: Ha! Not so fast!

She catches it ninja style.

Roy: Awww…

Dixie/Tiny – Sisters

Dixie: Detour!!!

Phil: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Search and Destroy. In Search, teams find their way through the castle until they find this room, the training room. Inside, they must maneuver through many traps involving moving platforms, rotating platforms, and many hazards to reach their next clue. In Destroy, teams must find this arena near the top of the castle. There they must destroy a volley of Bowser’s enemies before receiving their next clue.

Dixie: Search or Destroy?


Ana: Detour!!! How fun!

Kat: Let’s do the Destroy.

Dixie: You wanna do Destroy?

Kat: If you know enough strength and style, then fighting enemies is no trouble at all.

Tiny: All right. We can handle it, right Sis?

Dixie: Yeah!

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers

Cackletta: Find Bowser… Hahaha! I wonder if he remembers me? Hee hee hee…

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: Where ARE we? We’re so LOST!!!

Koops: This castle is disheartening me…

Kooper: I didn’t even know that was possible…

Koops: Who’s that over there?

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Come on! It’s right over there!

Koopa: Hurry up! We gotta get to Bowser!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: What the? That’s the first flight! What are they doing here? Looking for Bowser?

Koops: How did they fall so far behind?

Kooper: Who cares?! Come on! Follow them!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Ahaaa! Thank you, Larry!


Xoshi: Detour! Search or Destroy?

Foshi: *flares fist* Is it even a question?

Xoshi: Destroy it is.

Foshi: But how do we find this arena?

Xoshi: The clue said it’s near the top of the castle, so if we go up, we’ll find it eventually.

Foshi: Sounds like a plan.

Xoshi: It does?

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Good job running, Patrick!

Patrick: Those tanks are sweet!

Norman: I know! Bowser’s a rockin’ dude!


Patrick: Okay, we have to go see Bowser.

Norman: Where is he? This castle is ginormous!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Finally!!!

Larry: Haha! You guys are such losers!

Lemmy: Shut up, Larry! Just because you got promoted from airship 1 to castle 7 doesn’t make you any better than us!


Iggy: It’s a Detour!!!

Lemmy: Well, we know where both of those places are, but which should we pick?

Iggy: Let’s do Search. Those obstacle courses are kinda fun.

Lemmy: A’ight…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Knock, knock! Anyone home?

Bowser: It’s about time you got here!

Koopa: It’s good to see you again, Boss!

Bowser: Oh, right! You’re the two on the race! I thought you had my martini!

Both: …

Bowser: Anyone else?

Neil/Ella -- Golfers
Ella: We’re here- Woah!!!

Neil: Dude! Take a diet, man!

Bowser: SHUT YOUR TRAPS *Flam’d*

Neil: Oww…

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: Now why didn’t we check here?

Koops: I don’t know…

Kooper: T’was too obvious…

Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha ha!!! You losers are falling behind, you know? You’d better catch up!

(Riiip) (Rip) (Riiiiiiiiip)

Neil/Ella -- Golfers

Ella: Go find…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Koopalings’ rooms…

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: … next clue. Okay, let’s go.

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Marilyn! Hurry up! We are VERY far behind and I am going to get mad!

Marilyn: Guuh! Guh guh guh guh guh guuuh guh!!!
Beldam: Well… Fine then… (Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip) We have to go find Bowser. Let’s hurry up!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster, pleeeeeease… The tanks are awesome, I know, but we don’t want to be eliminated!

Booster: I told you! I’ll eat the rules later!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Keep it up you two!

Ana: You’re pretty fast!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: We run laps around our island all the time!

Dixie: Don’t count us out!

Kat: Not happening!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Xoshi: I think it’s up here.

Foshi: How do you know?

Xoshi: I dunno… Just looks like more weirdos up there…

Many Baddies: HEY!!!

Xoshi: …  I mean Bowser’s minions.

Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha! I hope you have a horrible time in my castle!!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Man, he’s scary!

Bowser: And YOU!!!

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: Who? Little ol’ me?

Bowser: *evil eye*

Cackletta: Ee he he he he he heeee!!!

Bowser: Take the dang clues and get outta my sight!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Oh! There it is! Over there!

Ana: Wow! It’s huge!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Come on, girls! Let’s go!

They all step into the ring.

Announcer: Begin battling. Defeat 20 enemies per team. Which enemies, does not matter. GO!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: All right, Ana. Just like training at home!

Ana: Hiya!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: C’mere, you oddballs!

Dixie: Let’s take them down!!!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master

Snifit: Okay, Booster. We have to go see Bowser.

Booster: I hope he has cheeseburgers!!

Snifit: I’m sure he does!

Booster: Waitaminute… I remember Bowser. He’s the one that kicked my cake before I ate it.

Snifit: … Oh, right! That one was actually true…

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: We’re here!

Iggy: I love this room! It has such a wonderful atmosphere.

The camera shows the room is full of lava.

Iggy: Come on, Bro! Let’s begin!

Lemmy: I see the clue! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up there!

Iggy: Eh, piece of cake…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Whee… You know, I never really realized how huge this castle is before…

Koopa: I know! We gotta find one of the Koopalings’ rooms.

Paratroopa: Is this one?

Roy: HEY!!!

Koopa: Oww!!! PAPER CUT!!!

Paratroopa: At least it’s a paper cut from the clue!

Koopa: Heh… Yeah…


Both: Detour!!!

Koopa: I think we should go do the obstacle course.

Paratroopa: Yeah, we had to train there, so why not?

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: Where’d those other Koopas go?

Koops: I see them over there. They’re walking that way.

Kooper: Do they have a clue?

Koops: I’m… not sure.

Kooper: Well, let’s go see…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Yah! Take this!

Kat: Don’t even think about it! Ha! Yah!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: You doing all right, Sis?

Dixie: I’m fine! Look!

Kat: They’re here!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: All right! Let’s kick some butt!

Xoshi: They beat us here.

Foshi: Eh, who cares?

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Tiny! Duck!
Tiny: Woah! Watch it, you bub!
Para T: Heehehehe…

Patrick/Norman -- Friends

Patrick: Ugh… Where are we goin’?

Norman: I have no freaking idea. This place is a maze!

Patrick: What’s down that hallway?

Norman: It’s a big door… S’got weird… black marks on it… and a bandana hung on a hook.

Patrick: Wanna try it?

Norman: Sure! Go ahead, big guy!

Patrick: *gulp* Why me?

Norman: Because you’re big and strong, now go!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: Who’s that down there?

Koops: Hm… Looks like the Pianta and Noki team.

Kooper: Oh, ummm, Pat and… Nathan?

Koops: I forget…

Kooper: Yo!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Oh, hey. You’re Kooper, right?

Kooper: Yep!

Norman: Cool. PAT! WALK FASTER!

Patrick: Shaddup!

He slowly opens the door.




Norman, Kooper, Koops: Hahahahahahahahahahahah!

Jr: Waahahahahaha! Boy! You sure scare easily!

Patrick: Huh? Wha? Grrr…  You stink!

Jr: Here! Take this clue before you wet yourself!

Patrick: Shaddup!!!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: I’ll take one too. Thank you!

Jr.: See ya, losers!

(Riiiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiiiiip)

Norman: Detour!!!

Kooper: All right… Detour!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Search or Destroy.

Patrick: Hm… That’s a tough choice…

Norman: Yeah…

***Norman: He’s not exactly the fittest racer… so… yeah…

Norman: I think we can take on Bowser’s minions! They stink!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Koops: Hmmm… Well… uh…

Kooper: We choose destroy!

Koops: Oh… Okay…

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Oh, there it is! There’s Bowser, Marilyn!

Marilyn: Guh!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Oh, hurry Booster, sir! We can catch them!

Booster: Is that the cake kicker?

Bowser: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! … Oh, no, not these loonies again… ..

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: What?!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: Cheeseburger?

Bowser: Here! Take these clues before I lose my lunch!

(Riiiiiiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiiiip)

Snifit: Okay! Follow me! There’s… um… trains!

Booster: Okaysjapodishfp98foindvuo98fayroegoirgf!

Neil/Ella -- Golfers

Both: Detour!!!

Neil: Hm… Do you think we should do the obstacle course?

Ella: Sounds kinda fun!

Neil: Let’s do it! Thanks, Roy!


Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas

Ana: I’ve got him! I’ve got him! Yah!!!

Kat: Excellent! That means we’re done!

Ana: Go get the clue from that ugly guy!

Koopatrol: Shut up…


Kat: Make your way to the… Pit Stop!!!

Phil: Teams must now make their way down to the basements of Bowser’s Castle, a hundred feet underground, to find these lava pits. This crazy hot underground cave is the pit stop for this leg of the race.  The last team to check in here… will be eliminated.

Ana: Are those two done yet?

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters

Dixie: Nice shot!

Tiny: T’was nothing!


Dixie: Pit stop! Pit stop! Oh boy!

Kat: Come on! Let’s find it!

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Graaaaaahhh *fire burst* Hm…

Xoshi: The ninjas and monkeys are done already.

Foshi: No matter. HA!

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Iggy: Can you reach?

Lemmy: Just barely! Ugh! There we go!

Iggy: You did awesome! I think it’s a record time!

Lemmy: Grab the clue!


Both: Make your way to the Pit Stop!

Lemmy: Oohhh! Lava pits! Sounds relaxing!

Iggy: Let’s go!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Is this it over here?

Paratroopa: Yep! Ah, it’s been so long since we’ve been here!

Koopa: Time to test our strength! Go!

Paratroopa does many awesome aerial stunts through the traps.

Paratroopa: Done!

Koopa: *sigh* Wait for me…

Foshi/Xoshi -- Lifelong Friends
Foshi: Grrrrrrrrr… HAAAAAA!!! *fire blast* Hufff… huffff… Sufficient?

Xoshi: Quite! We’re all done!


Xoshi: Come on! Let’s go! It’s the Pit Stop.

Foshi: Woo… That was fun!

Xoshi: I agree! You got to use fire, though…

Foshi: Well, I wanted us to finish quickly…

Xoshi: Yeah…

***Foshi: I try not to make Xosh jealous of me, but…

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Fawful: I have IMMENSE FURY at the lostness of us!

Cackletta: Indeed… This castle is immense… We are falling behind…

Fawful: FINK RATS!!!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Oh, ho! I think I found it!

Patrick: Woah… This is a big arena!!!

Norman: I’d like to watch Durian Football played here!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: You ready? Just use your Shell Slam! I’ll use Fire Shell!

Koops: Lucky…

Announcer: GO!!!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Look! There’s an orange glow coming from down these stone stairs!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: This looks like the place!

Dixie: Let’s go!

Phil is standing on a mat on a small island in the lava. A very old Goomba is standing next to him.

Tiny: Go ahead, guys! You deserve it!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Wa hoo!

Kat: What an adventure!

Goomba #1: *ahem* Welcome to Bowser’s Castle!!

Phil: Kat & Ana… You’re team number 1!!!

Ana: What?!

Kat: What do you mean one?

Phil: Yes, as the winners of this leg of the race you have won 10,000 coins! You can enjoy that after the race!

Kat: No way!!!

Phil: You’re team number one! You girls, come in too. Dixie & Tiny, you’re team number 2!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Huh? How did that happen?

Kat: What happened to the first flight?

Dixie: I don’t remember passing any of them…

***Kat: It was unusual to be in first the whole time and not even realize it.

***Dixie: Maybe we’re lucky…

All of them laugh.

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: I wonder where we are… *facepalm* Why did I just ask that out loud?

Booster: Ding dong! We are in Bowser’s hallway located in Bowser’s Castle located in Dark Land located in the Mushroom Kingdom located on Pilt located in the Solar System located in Space located in the Universe LOCATED IN A PLACE!!!
Snifit: … … … … … … … … … Yay…

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Wendy: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Get out of my room, you horrible people!!! Waaaaaaah!

Marilyn: Guh guh guh guh!!! Guuuuh guh guuughguhguhguhguhguhguhguhgughughguhgugh!!!

Beldam: I agree. I wonder if they’ll bleep you or not?

Neil/Ella -- Golfers
Neil: Oh! There it is!

Ella: I knew you’d find it!

Neil: Woah! This looks crazy!

Ella: Looks simple enough. We just gotta ride tho..s… d..b.s… .s.. *thinks* Okay, it’s not simple…

Neil: Let’s give it a try!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: C’mon, Koop! The Golfers are here!

Koopa: Just help me up here… ugh… There! Awesome!

Paratroopa: You’re awesome! That was really fast!


Paratroopa: Make your way to the pit stop!

Koopa: Come on! Let’s do awesome!

Phil: Lemmy & Iggy…?

Iggy/Lemmy -- Brothers
Lemmy: Yeah, Phil?

Phil: You’re team number 3!!!

Iggy: Cool!

Lemmy: Beaten by that cruddy alliance…

Iggy: Yeah…

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: Should we try this door?

Fawful: Anything to find the precious MUSTARDy clue!

Cackletta: Hmmm… Do you have our clue?

Larry: Yeah! Here ya go!

Cackletta: My thanks… Sorry for fooling you into thinking I was your dad.

Larry: Leave before I break you.



Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Did you hear someone shout Detour?

Marilyn: Guh guh guhh!

Beldam: Yes! I see them! They’ve got the next clue! Go!

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: Grrr… Come on! Let’s go fight! Let’s just get out of here.

Fawful: Time to kick some fink rats!


Marilyn: Guuuuuuuh!!!

Beldam: Yes, and the choices are search or destroy!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! Over there!

Booster: Is that my cheeseburger?

Snifit: Ummm… Sure!

Booster: Yswpozihdasoufihspdoiguhsapdohsdlk!!!

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Marilyn: GUH!

Beldam: All right, I see them! Hurry up! We’ll do destroy!

Marilyn: Guh!
***Marilyn: Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh!!!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master - Currently in Last Place

Snifit: Booster it’s a Detour. Do you remember those from the rules?

Booster: Um… Yes… maybe…  choice… two… tasks…

Snifit: Yes! Good job! Have a cookie!


Snifit: We choose Destroy! Come on, Booster!

Phil: Foshi & Xoshi, you’re team number 4!

Foshi: Excellent!

Xoshi: That is a good start!

Foshi: Fire-powered all the way!

Kooper/Koops -- Recent Friends
Kooper: Grrr… FIRE SHELL!!!


Koops: Mmmmmmm… SHELL SLAM!!


Kooper: Done! Done! Done! Clue! Clue! Clue!


Koops: Make your way to the Pit Stop…

Kooper: All right! Hurry up!!!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Patrick: Punch you! Oh, man! They’re done already!

Norman: It’s okay! We’re getting through this!

Neil/Ella -- Golfers
Neil: Done!!!

Ella: That was tough! If all of Bowser’s minions have to pass this course, why do they all stink?

50 Minions: HEY!!!

Ella: Eh, shaddup!


Neil: All riiiiiiight!!! PIT STOOOOP!!! *Air Guitar Solo*

Ella: …

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Come on, Patrick! You can do it! *smack* Just… a… few… more…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Wheeeee!!!

Koopa: Here we come, Phil!!!

Paratroopa: Haha!!!

Phil: … Koopa & Paratroopa… you’re team number 5!

Koopa: Wow! That’s pretty good!

Paratroopa: We caught up!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Patrick: Ahgh! Got him!

Norman: You did so awesome! I’m proud of you!

Patrick: Heh…


Norman: Come on! It’s the Pit Stop!

Phil: Kooper & Koops?

Kooper: I can’t bear it…

Phil: You’re team number 6!

Koops: Okay…

Kooper: Eh, we’ll do better! We got a little lost in this labyrinth!

Koops: Yeah…

???: Wahoo!!!

Phil: Oh, boy, here they come!

Neil/Ella -- Golfers
Neil: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Ella: Neil, for heaven’s sake! Calm down!

Phil: Neil & Ella! You’re team number 7!

Neil: That is awesome considering we were on the delayed flight!

Phil: Yes, it is.

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Fawful: Fink rats behind uuuuuuusssss!!!

Cakcletta: Hurry up then!

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Come on, Marilyn! Pick up the pace!

Marilyn: Guh guuuh!!!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: SHINY ROCK!!!

Patrick/Norman -- Friends
Norman: Here! Down here!

Patrick: Woah! It’s so warm! Feels like the island!

Phil: Patrick and Norman, you are team number…

Norman: Yeah?

Phil: 8!

Patrick: Good job!

Norman: We did it!

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers

Cackletta: Okay, here we are! Are you ready?

Fawful: They shall feel my FURY!!!

Cackletta: Right! Go get them! Lightning Strike!!!


Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Marilyn! Here! We have to fight them!

Marilyn: Guh guh?

Beldam: I don’t know! Use your thunder punch or something…

Marilyn: Guh!! Guuuuuh guuuuuuuuuuhhhh!!!

*Another BOOM*

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! Booster, I’ve gotta tell you something!

Booster: What? What secrets are for dinner?

Snifit: You see all those enemies? They… hate… trains AND planes!!!

Booster: … … … … … … … … … …

Snifit: Uhh… Did your brain break again?


Snifit: I can’t tell if that answered my question or not…

Many attack sounds are heard as the crowd cheers,

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: Yes! Defeat them all!

Fawful: Feel my fury, fink rats!!!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: Munch, munch, here’s a punch!


Snifit: Wow, Booster! Way to go!

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Come on! Hurry up! We do NOT want to be last!

Marilyn: Guh!

The tension rises, as does the music.

***Cackletta: I think my underling did an excellent job dispersing the enemies… They certainly felt his fury…

Cackletta/Fawful -- Evil Doers
Cackletta: There! Go get that guy!

Paratrimb: Waaaahhh!

Fawful: FURY TIME!!!


Cackletta: Excellent! We’re done!


Fawful: Warnings: the last team to be checking in is the eliminated one of FURY!!

Cackletta: Let’s go! Hurry!

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Come on, Marilyn! You can do this!

Marilyn: Guh… guh…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: Die, train haters!!! DIEEEE!!!

Snifit: Yes! Yes!!! This is delicious!!! Goo!!!

Phil: Cackletta & Fawful… You’re team number 9!

Cackletta: Oh well. We have much more time to catch up.

Fawful: The mustard of everyone else’s doom is within sight!

Cackletta: Eee hee hee hee hee hee…

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
More fighting noises are heard.

Beldam: We’re almost done! Ice Smash!!!

Marilyn: Guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guhhh!

Beldam: Yes!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Come on, Booster! Just a few more train haters! Blazer!!!


Beldam: Done!

Booster: Done!!!

All: !!!

(Riiiiiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiip)

Beldam: Make your way to the Pit Stop!

Snifit: The Lava Pits!

Booster: Ooh! That sounds like fun! There should be trains pickled in the lava five!

Snifit: … RUN!!!

Booster: Okay…

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Come on, Sister! We can beat them!

Marilyn: Guh!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Where’s the lava room? Well, knowing you, you can probably smell it, right?

Booster: Nope! I HEAR IT! Let’s go!!!

Snifit: I give up…

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Marilyn: Guh guh guuuh guhhh!!!

Beldam: What are you, stupid?! Just run!!!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: Down here! The lava-y goodness!

***Snifit: I swear, it was pure luck he WANTED to go to the lava…

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Beldam: Where are you going? Come back! Down here!

Phil is standing on the lava island…  He raises an eyebrow…


Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Huff… huff… huff… Okay…

Phil: Booster & Snifit…

Booster: That am be me and are!

Phil: You’re… team number 10!

Snifit: That… was close…

Booster: Whee! Lava pickle trains!!!

Phil, Snifit: … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

Beldam/Marilyn -- Sisters / Evil Doers
Goomba #1: Welcome… to Bowser’s Castle

Marilyn: Guh!

Phil: Beldam & Marilyn?

Beldam: Tell us something good…

Phil: You are the last team to arrive…

Beldam: Argh!

Phil: I’m sorry to tell you you’ve both been eliminated from the race!

Marilyn: GUUUUUUUUUHHH! Guhguhguhguhguhguhguhgughughughguh!!!

Beldam: I know what you mean…

***Beldam: We have failed. It’s nothing new. Mario beat us up so many times… It seems that’s what we’re destined to do… *sigh* Well, now we’ve been eliminated first, and it feels terrible…

***Marilyn: Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh

***Beldam: I agree…

The credits roll…

Read on!

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