Wacky: Hello,
and welcome to the second leg of the *Insert Adjective Here* Race!
We are here live at Onett, the home of Earthbound hero, Ness. And
in the middle of this town, is a local drugstore. Behind this store
was the first pit stop in a race around Plit. Teams arrived here
for a mandatory rest period. Will Mario and Luigi be able to maintain
their lead, and will Waluigi be able to conquer his fear of everything?
Probably not. Mario and Luigi, who were the first team to arrive,
will be the first to depart.
>>Mario & Luigi – first at route marker<<
Luigi: Go to Pagoda Peak.
Wacky: Teams now must travel DAD-knows-how-many miles to Pagoda Peak, a mountain on top of an ancient civilization. At the base of this mountain, teams will find their next clue.
Mario: I know what to do!
Luigi: You do?
Mario: Yeah. Let’s go buy Swiss cheese.
Luigi: Mario, the drugstore is closed.
Clerk: Actually, the store is open 24-…
Luigi: Shuddap!
By this point, Mario is inside the store
Mario: One pound of Swiss cheese, please.
Luigi: Mario, why?!
Mario: Now, to jump into the Great Chimera’s mouth.
Luigi: Why on Plit would we do that?
Mario: Well, at the force at which the chimera bites us, adding the angle trajectory at which it hits us, we should land directly at the base of the mountain.
Luigi: What on Plit did you just say?
Mario: I like pancakes!
Luigi: Yeah, that’s better, Mario.
They get bit by the Chimera, which, as Mario said, causes them to land at the base of the mountain.
Luigi: Wow, Mario, you were right.
Mario: Right about what? We have pancakes again? Yayyyyyy!
Luigi: Yeah, just read the clue.
>>Mario & Luigi – first at route marker<<
Mario: Get to the top of the mountain.
Wacky: Teams must now make it to the top of Pagoda Peak. Once there, Koopa Master will hand them their next clue.
Luigi: Let’s
go, Mario.
>>Morton & Roy – second at route marker<<
Roy: Let’s wait for Lemmy & Iggy; they waited for us last leg.
Morton: All right.
>>Lemmy & Iggy – third at route marker<<
Lemmy: Thanks, guys.
Morton: Don’t mention it.
Iggy sees a little girl with a lollipop
Iggy: Gimme that lollipop!
Iggy takes it and the little girl starts to cry
Girl: I’m telling my daddy.
Lemmy: Like we’re so scared.
An extremely large, ripped guy named Rob then comes up to the girl
Rob: Who did this to you?!
Roy: Run now, run, RUN!
They then jump into two trash cans, Lemmy and Roy in one, and Iggy and Morton in another.
Rob: Where did they go?
Girl: I don’t know.
The store clerk comes outside
Clerk: What’s wrong, Rob?
Rob: My daughter’s crying, Jim, but more importantly, the trash can over there is really irritating me.
He points to the trash can Iggy and Morton are hiding in
Jim: Me too. Actually, I planned to blow it up.
Rob: When?
Jim: Now!
BOOM!
Rob: Dude, how much dynamite did you use?
Jim: A lot.
The trash can flies extremely high into the air.
Jim and Rob: Nice!
Girl: How about the other one?
Jim: Actually,
that one is a pipe for the *Insert Adjective Here* Race. It puts
them directly to some place called Pagoda Peak.
>>Mario & Luigi – Summit<<
Luigi: Al…most… there!
Mario: We’re here!
Luigi: Yeah (wheeze) but (wheeze) we (wheeze) have (wheeze) a task!
Master Koopa: Here you are, young cricket.
>>Mario & Luigi – first at detour<<
Mario: Detour: Dogfight or Ground Fight?
Wacky: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour, the teams must choose between two types of fighting: dogfight and ground fight. In dogfight, teams must paraglide around the mountain in a two-on-two match against Paratroopas. The fight will be done by using Koopa shells as projectiles. If teams are shot down, they will fall to the bottom of the mountain and have to climb back up in order to get more paragliders. Once they have won a match, Master Koopa will hand them their next clue. In ground fight, teams will face off against an extremely muscular Koopa named Chubs. They must push Chubs out of the arena before he does them. Once they have won a match, Master Koopa will hand them their next clue.
Mario: Let’s take on Chubs; how hard can he be?
They walk into the fighting arena.
Luigi: It’s creepy that it is on an edge; we could easily fall off.
Mario: I told you, we’ll defeat Chubs easily.
KA-BOOM! The ground suddenly shakes. Mario and Luigi turn around to see a Koopa reminiscent of the Hulk.
Chubs: ME CHUBS!
Mario: Bring it!
Luigi, however, stares at Chubs with an open jaw. Mario then rushes at Chubs and attempts to kick him, but Chubs backhands him and sends him flying off of the mountain.
Mario: Oh no!
Chubs then stares at Luigi and Luigi stares back. They stare at each other for a good five seconds. Luigi then stares towards the edge of the cliff, and then makes a dash for it.
Luigi: No, no, no, no!
Luigi then makes a large leap towards the edge.
Luigi: YES!
Unfortunately, Chubs grabs him by his ankle.
Luigi: NO!
Chubs: YOU’RE GOING NOWHERE!
Chubs slams Luigi on the ground and then hurls him off of the edge.
Chubs: BONESAW!
As Luigi is flying through the air, a trash can hits him in the head. Luigi falls towards the ground.
>>Mario, Roy, & Lemmy – Base of Mountain<<
Mario: What are you doing here, Roy?
Roy: No, the real question is, what are you doing here, Mario?
Mario: Swiss cheese!
Lemmy: What on Plit is that?
Luigi and a trash can suddenly hit the ground. Luigi, Morton, and Iggy are now lying on the ground, twitching. Roy and Mario stare at each other, then quickly grab their partner and start running up the mountain.
Lemmy: I wonder what the other teams are doing.
…
Lemmy: Well that means go to the next scene.
…
Lemmy: What are you waiting for? Go!
…
Lemmy: Aw, forget it.
Lemmy grabs Iggy
and then starts dragging him up the mountain.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – fourth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – fifth at route marker<<
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – sixth at route marker<<
Ludwig: I can’t believe they didn’t wait for us. We weren’t that far behind.
Hamma: You should make an alliance with us.
Boo: Yeah, we could sabotage other teams, cause chaos, and create destruction with Cool Whip.
Everyone but Boo: Cool Whip?
Boo: Yeah, Cool Whip.
Dry Bones: You’re just dumb.
Boo: Hey, Cool Whip is going to save your life.
Larry: Back to important things, how on Plit are we going to get to Pagoda Peak? It’s at least a day-long flight. There’s gotta be an easier way.
Bamma: The clue did mention a warp pipe.
Flare: It said no such thing.
Bamma: Oh really? Read the clue again.
Wacky: Wait, I have to read the clue again?
Bamma: Yes, yes you do!
Wacky: Ok, whatever, man. *clears throat* Teams now must travel DAD-knows-how-many miles to Pagoda Peak, a mountain on top of an ancient civilization. At the base of this mountain, teams will find their next clue.
Bamma: See?
Hamma: It didn’t say anything about a warp pipe!
Bamma: Wacky, read it again, he obviously didn’t hear it.
Wacky: I’m not reading it again.
Bamma: DO IT!
Wacky: Ok, ok, just don’t spaz, man. Teams now must travel DAD-knows-how-many miles to Pagoda Peak, a mountain on top of an ancient civilization. At the base of this mountain, teams will find their next clue.
Bamma: Does that prove my point?
Hamma: No, you’re just dumb.
Bamma: Oh. Well, let’s just jump into the warp pipe.
Bamma then jumps into a trash can. Ludwig throws off the trash can lid and looks down into an abyss.
Ludwig: How did he know that?
Flare jumps into the pipe.
Hamma: Don’t worry about it.
Hamma jumps into the pipe. The rest follow suit.
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – fourth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – fifth at route marker<<
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – sixth at route marker<<
Boo: I love it when we have to climb.
Dry Bones jumps onto Boo’s back and he starts flying away.
Larry: It says climb!
Dry Bones: It said the same thing last leg.
Hamma: That is true; technically, we didn’t climb either.
Ludwig: You guys just abused me, but that chocolate bar was pretty darn good.
Larry: Guess we’re taking the long way.
Flare: Unless Bamma does Bamma Power again.
Bamma is picking his nose.
Hamma: Bamma
Power’s gone. We’re climbing.
>>Mario & Luigi – top of mountain<<
Luigi: I don’t want to fight Chubs again.
Mario: All you’ve been doing is complaining. We can beat Chubs hands down.
Luigi: But he said Bonesaw in a very mean way.
Mario & Luigi both step into the ring.
Chubs: READY FOR ANOTHER CHUBS BEATDOWN?!
Mario: We’re not the ones going down, Chubby.
Mario then runs up and punches Chubs in the stomach. His hand gets stuck and then he gets sucked into his stomach.
Luigi: What happened?
Chubs: I ATE HIM!
Chubs then shoots Mario out of his stomach and into Luigi. They both fall off of the mountain.
Luigi: These jokes are cruel.
They land right next to Hamma, Bamma, Flare, Ludwig, & Larry.
Mario: At least we didn’t land at the bottom.
Flare: You’re
pretty darn close, though.
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – second at detour<<
>>Morton &
Roy – third at detour<<
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – fourth at detour<<
Lemmy: You took forever, Roy.
Roy: All right, first off, Morton didn’t wake up until just two seconds ago. Second, Morton’s fat.
Morton: I’m not fat; I’m actually not that overweight. I’ll admit, I’m a little on the chubby side, but fat is such a harsh word.
Roy slaps Morton across the face.
Roy: We’re doing dogfight, let’s go.
Lemmy: Sounds like a good idea.
Boo: Yup.
All six grab hang gliders and Koopa shells. They then sprint towards the edge and jump off. Five successfully start to glide, but Morton starts to plummet towards the ground almost immediately.
Roy: Told
you he was fat.
>>DK & Diddy – seventh at route marker<<
Diddy opens the clue. There is a banana attached to it, along with a note. Diddy opens the note, which reads, “Thanks for the parmesan. GIMB.”
DK: GIMB’s the man.
DK then eats the banana.
Diddy: C’mon, just jump into the warp pipe. It obviously takes us to Pagoda Peak.
They jump in.
>>DK & Diddy – seventh at route marker<<
Diddy: I love climbing.
DK: I love bananas.
Diddy and DK begin
their long climb.
>>Roy – Dogfight task<<
Roy is fighting two Paratroopas at once. Roy quickly grabs a Koopa shell and hits one of the Paratroopas in the face.
Roy: I got one!
Paratroopa: Well, I got you.
The Paratroopa dive bombs into Roy’s glider, ripping it. Roy starts to spiral towards the ground.
>>Morton – Base of Pagoda Peak<<
Morton: Yes, yes, YES!
A gunshot is heard from Morton’s Gameboy
Game Boy: FAIL!
Morton: Stupid hedgehog.
Roy lands next to Morton.
Roy: C’mon, Morton. I took out one of the Paratroopas. It’s two-on-one with our team having the advantage.
Morton: But we’d have to climb the mountain. It’s long, it’s scary, it has tons of obstacles, it’s a pain in the butt, it’s…
Roy: You
didn’t climb it the first time. Get going.
>>Lemmy & Iggy – Dogfight task<<
Iggy: All right, here’s our plan. Since neither of us can throw, we’ll just hit them with the glider. Even though ours will be destroyed, we’ll still complete the task.
Lemmy: That’s a dumb idea; that’s never going to work.
Iggy then collides with one of the Paratroopas, knocking both of them to the ground.
Lemmy: Well, that seems easy.
Lemmy does the same thing. They both plummet to the ground.
Lemmy: Did we win?
Paratroopa: Well, yes, but Master Koopa has the clue, so you’ll have to climb back up.
Lemmy: Told you it was a dumb idea.
At that moment, Dry Bones and Boo hit the ground.
Dry Bones: Dude, that one Paratroopa has a nasty shot.
Boo: Yeah, he took out both of us with one shell.
Dry Bones: We’ll get him this round.
Dry Bones jumps
on Boo’s back as they fly back up.
>>Peach & Yoshi – eighth at route marker<<
Yoshi: We’re going to Pagoda Peak.
Peach: I wonder how we get there.
Yoshi: Who cares at the moment? I want food.
Yoshi walks into the drugstore.
Yoshi: You guys got any fruit?
Rob: We got watermelon.
Yoshi: Yay!
Yoshi throws money on the counter and eats the watermelon.
Peach: You guys wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Pagoda Peak, would you?
Jim: Yeah, there’s a warp pipe right outside the store. It’ll take you directly there.
Yoshi: Oh, thanks.
Peach and Yoshi jump into the warp pipe.
>>Peach & Yoshi – eighth at route marker<<
Peach: Great,
I hate climbing.
>> Mario &
Luigi – top of mountain<<
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – fifth at detour<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – sixth at detour<<
Mario: Round three.
Luigi: I hate this.
Hamma: All right, here are our choices: if we do the dogfight, we’ll have to verse three Paratroopas. If we do ground fight, we only have to verse one guy.
Flare: Well then, ground fight it is.
Larry: Yeah, ground fight seems fun.
Chubs: YOU ALL GOING DOWN!
Mario: Not this round, Chubby.
Mario grabs Luigi and charges at Chubs, holding Luigi like a battering ram.
Chubs: CHUBS FALCON PUNCH!
Luigi: Falcon what?
Luigi then gets a face full of Chubs’s fist. Luigi flies off the edge and plummets down to Plit.
Mario: Ah-ha! I got you now!
Mario grabs a hammer and hits Chubs in the stomach. The hammer shatters upon impact. Mario sprints towards the edge. Chubs runs after him. Mario uses his Cape from Super Smash Bros. to send Chubs in the opposite direction.
Chubs: THAT WAS THE WORST ATTACK EVER! ALL IT DID WAS SEND ME THE OTHER WAY!
Mario pulls out F.L.U.D.D. and sprays water in Chubs’s eyes.
Chubs: THAT’S EVEN DUMBER!
Mario: Yes, but it knocked you out of bounds.
Chubs looks down and sees he is on the opposite side of the boundary line.
Chubs: DANG!
Mario is so excited that he jumps off of the mountain. Luigi is twitching on the ground.
Luigi: Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Mario: Luigi, I beat Chubs.
Luigi: That’s great, Mario. What does the clue say?
Mario: Oh, I forgot the clue.
Luigi: I hate you so much, Mario, you have no idea.
Mario: I can do a super jump again, like I did back at Icicle Mountain.
Luigi: No,
no, we can climb.
>>Hamma, Bamma, and Flare – Ground fight task<<
Chubs: CHUBS LOST ONCE, BUT HE WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED AGAIN!
Bamma: Except by us. Haha, I totally just pwned him there.
Hamma: All right, guys, Plan Alpha, NOW!
Hamma throws a hammer at Chubs. Bamma and Flare do the same thing except with a boomerang and a fireball. That was the last bit of good that Plan Alpha served.
Chubs: CHUBS HAS SEEN THIS BEFORE!
Chubs catches the hammer and beams it at Bamma, knocking him off of the mountain. Chubs then catches the boomerang and hurls it at Flare, also knocking him off of the mountain.
Hamma: Eep!
Chubs jumps really high and lands on Hamma, sending Hamma’s body through the floor.
Chubs: CHUBS WINS AGAIN!
Ludwig: Do you think we should switch tasks?
Larry: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
Larry & Ludwig jump on hang gliders and Ludwig takes out one Paratroopa with a precision strike, but another Paratroopa strikes him from above. Larry copies the Paratroopa’s move and wipes out the Paratroopa. Larry lands next to Master Koopa.
Larry: Can I have my clue now?
Master Koopa: Sorry, young cricket, but there must be two crickets present.
Larry: Great. Can I use the glider to go pick him up?
Master Koopa: We need those for the task. I’ve got a better way.
Larry smiles.
Larry: Sounds like fun.
Larry is strapped to a bottle rocket.
Larry: This wasn’t my definition of fun.
Master Koopa: Three, two, one…
Larry gets shot down to the bottom of the mountain.
Ludwig: Did you win?
Larry: Yeah, but we need you to get the clue.
Ludwig:
Whatever.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – top of mountain<<
>>DK & Diddy
– seventh at detour<<
Boo: REVENGE!
Boo and Dry Bones jump on gliders.
DK: I’m not losing to a guy named Chubs.
Diddy: Yeah, but he seems really scary, DK. Besides, I… My tail needs grooming… in that bush.
DK: Whatever, I don’t need you. Bring it, Chubs!
Chubs: BRING IT!
DK charges at Chubs and Chubs at DK. DK headbutts Chubs and sends him into the ground.
DK: Time for a DK punch.
DK punches Chubs, but his hand gets stuck.
Chubs: I’M STUCK IN THE GROUND!
DK: My hand is stuck in you. Diddy!
Chubs: DIDDY!
Diddy (from inside the bush): What?
DK: Help us!
Chubs: GET YOUR LAZY BUTT OVER HERE, BOY!
Diddy: Fine. On that note, I’m gonna make Chubs very annoyed.
Diddy then pulls out his peanut popgun and starts shooting Chubs at point-blank range.
Diddy: This (pop) is (pop) very (pop) fun.
DK: Ooooh, snacks.
DK starts munching on the peanuts.
Chubs: YOU GUYS ARE SO DEAD.
Diddy: Yeah, (pop) but (pop) you’re (pop) stuck.
DK: Mmmm-hmmm Mmm-chmm-im-dim-dim.
DK takes another
fistful of peanuts and shoves it in his mouth.
>>Toad & Toadette
– ninth at route marker<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – tenth at route marker<<
Toad: We’re so *&^& behind.
Waluigi: I’m scared of swearing.
Toad: Oh, my &%$@ bad.
Waluigi: Wah!
Wario grabs Waluigi and throws him into the warp pipe. Wario jumps in and Toad and Toadette follow.
>>Wario &
Waluigi – ninth at route marker<<
>>Toad &
Toadette – tenth at route marker<<
Wario: Waluigi, grab onto my shoulders, I have an idea.
Waluigi does as he was told.
Wario: To the top of the mountain!
Wario then farts. He and Waluigi fly straight to the top of the mountain.
Toad: Woah, dude.
As Wario flies through the air, he knocks out all of the Paratroopas and dislodges Chubs from the ground.
Chubs: I’M GONNA KEEL U!
DK: Yes, but you’re out of bounds.
Diddy: Yeah, and according to the clue, we win. Loser, hee-hee.
Chubs stands there foaming at the mouth while DK and Diddy walk away. Meanwhile, Boo and Dry Bones land next to Master Koopa.
Boo: Does this mean we win?
Master Koopa: Yes, it does. It also means you won as well, DK and Diddy.
He hands both of them their next clue.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – first at route marker<<
>>DK & Diddy
– second at route marker<<
DK: Go to Baby Park.
Wacky: Teams must now travel by kart, bike, or two-person kart to Baby Park. Once there, they will find their next clue.
Diddy: Where are the karts?
Master Koopa: Bottom of the mountain.
Dry Bones: Dang!
Master Koopa: Yes, but you get to take the fun way.
Larry’s echo: Don’t take the fun way!
DK: We’re not taking the fun way. It’s probably a trap. It probably doesn’t have bananas!
Master Koopa: Well, this way doesn’t either.
Master Koopa presses a button. A trapdoor opens beneath them and they all fall.
Wario: Woah!
>>Along the mountain<<
Roy: Did you hear something?
Iggy: Did it feel like the ground shook?
Yoshi: Why do I have a feeling that something bad happened?
Mario: Swiss cheese?!
Flare: Why do I have the feeling we’re going to get the snot beaten out of us?
Larry: I have a feeling someone didn’t take the fun way.
Toad: What the %$#@ was that?
They all land at the bottom.
Boo: Wait a minute, I can fly. I’m not going to take that.
Boo flies up very quickly.
Boo: Ha, I can fly down.
He does as he said.
Wario: Was that necessary?
Master Koopa: Here is your clue, young and fat cricket.
Wario: I’m not fat.
>>Wario & Waluigi – eighth at detour<<
Wario: Let’s do dogfight. We already took out all of the Paratroopas.
At that moment, 20 Paratroopas come.
Paratroopa: We heard we were needed here.
Wario: Aw,
shoot.
>>Roy & Morton – dogfight task<<
Roy: We took out one Paratroopa, and I’m gonna get the second.
Roy grabs a baseball bat and hits a Koopa shell with it. It hits a Paratroopa in the face.
Roy: Bullseye!
Master Koopa: Here you go, young cricket.
>>Roy & Morton – third at route marker<<
Roy: I’ve never driven a kart before.
Morton: How do we get down?
Master Koopa: There’s four choices: the Fun Way, the Painful Way, Chubs, or by walking.
Roy: We’ll
walk down.
>>DK, Diddy, Dry Bones, and Boo – Base of Pagoda Peak<<
DK: Bikes rule.
Dry Bones: No way, man. Karts rule.
Diddy: Race you there.
Boo: It’s on!
DK and Diddy hop
on bikes while Dry Bones and Boo jump into karts. They then take
off for Baby Park.
>>Toad & Toadette – Somewhere on Pagoda Peak<<
Toad: This was a map in Mario Party 7, right?
Toadette: Yeah, it was.
Toad: Well then…
Toad walks into an orb shop.
Toad: Do you guys still sell orbs?
Koopa Salesman: Yeah, we do.
Toad: We’ll take one Super ‘Shroom Orb.
Koopa Salesman: We’re having a special; you also get a Tweester Orb.
Toad: Sweet.
Toad walks back outside.
Toad: We’ll use the Super ‘Shroom Orb to get ahead, and then we’ll throw the Tweester Orb at someone.
Toadette:
Sweetness!
>>Lemmy & Iggy – top of Pagoda Peak<<
Iggy: Finally, we’re at the top. I hate climbing!
Lemmy: Can we… have our… clue?
Master Koopa: Sure, young crickets.
>>Lemmy & Iggy – fourth at route marker<<
Iggy: Quickly, we need to hurry; Wario & Waluigi just got finished.
Wario: My bad gas always takes them out.
Waluigi: I’m scared of your gas.
Wario: Who isn’t?
Waluigi: True.
Master Koopa: Here you go.
>>Wario & Waluigi – fifth at route marker<<
Wario: We need to get down quick.
Master Koopa: The fastest way is the fun way.
All Four: Deal.
They are all strapped to bottle rockets.
Waluigi: This isn’t fun! WAH!
Master Koopa: Bombs Away!
The four get shot off towards the bottom of the mountain.
Lemmy: Karts are better.
Wario: Waluigi, I don’t trust you, so I’m strapping you to a double kart.
Waluigi: No!
Wario: You don’t have a choice.
The four speed
off.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser: We’re so far behind.
Bowser Jr: Don’t worry, Papa. I overheard someone say something about a warp pipe; we just gotta find it.
Bowser: Quickly, go check in that bush.
Bowser Jr. looks inside a bush.
Bowser Jr: All I found is this untied shoe.
GIMB plays a rim shot.
GIMB: Get it? It’s a pun because Diddy was tieing his shoe in a bush, but he never tied it, and he doesn’t wear shoes. Uh, tee-hee?
Wacky punches GIMB in the face, knocking him out. Wacky then hoists GIMB over his shoulder.
Wacky: These
jokes keep on getting worse.
>>Morton & Roy – bottom of Pagoda Peak<<
Morton: It’s so much faster walking down.
Roy: Yeah, that, and the fact that you fell about 50 feet down the mountain.
Morton: Yeah, that too.
They jump on bikes.
Roy: To
Baby Park!
>>Peach & Yoshi – ninth at detour<<
Yoshi: I have a feeling that Chubs is gonna be mad scary, so let’s just take out those Paratroopas.
They grab gliders and start to fly, but they get shot down almost immediately. However, they land about halfway down the mountain.
Peach: Well, we didn’t fall that far down the mountain.
Toad: Yeah, that’s what you #$@% think.
Toad throws the Tweester Orb at them.
Toad: Suckers!
Peach and Yoshi:
Woah!
>>Mario &
Luigi – sixth at route marker<<
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – ground fight task<<
Mario: We’ll take Chubs.
Luigi: No we won’t. Get us down there, and make it snappy.
Master Koopa: Your wish, cricket.
Master Koopa sends them down the Painful Way, aka, big scary hole.
Luigi: AHHHHH!
Mario: CHEESE!
Flare: C’mon, guys, we got it this round.
Chubs: CHUBS READY TO ANNIHILATE YOU!
Hamma: Is it just me, or does Chubs seem angrier than before?
Chubs grabs Hamma by the throat, smashes him on the ground twice, and punts his unconscious body like a football. Bamma and Flare both get into the fetal position.
Bamma and Flare: AHHHHHHHH!
Chubs: CHUBS DOESN’T SPARE THE WEAK!
Flare: Don’t you think that’s cruel?
Chubs then palms Flare by his face and brings him within a few centimeters of Chubs’s face.
Chubs: CHUBS FALCON KILL!
Flare: I’ve heard of Falcon Punch, Falcon Kick, and even Falcon Dive, but what’s Falcon…?
Chubs’s knee catches on fire and blasts Flare out of the arena by about 2 miles. Chubs then turns to Bamma.
Bamma: I just soiled myself.
Chubs walks over and gets so close to Bamma that their noses actually touch.
Chubs: RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR… Boo.
Bamma runs off of the mountain, crying and screaming like a little girl.
Chubs: CHUBS BEATS ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM!
Bamma then lands next to Hamma’s unconscious body and Flare’s twitching body.
Bamma: Flare, are you okay, buddy?
Flare: I smelled what he had for breakfast three days ago!
Bamma: We’re never fighting Chubs again. Besides, I have a specialty in hang gliding.
Hamma then wakes up instantly.
Hamma: What?
Bamma: Yeah, I used to fly in the mountains when I was just a little…
Hamma: Walk.
Bamma: What?
Hamma: WALK UP THE MOUNTAIN AND BEAT THOSE PARATROOPAS!
Bamma: All right, okay, I’m going right now.
Bamma then sprints
up the mountain.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – Onett<<
Bowser Jr: I can’t find it, Papa.
Bowser: Just keep looking, Jr.
Bowser Jr: Why don’t we just ask the people inside the store?
Bowser:
No, they’re idiots.
>>Mario & Luigi – base of Pagoda Peak<<
Mario: I like karts, Luigi.
Luigi: We’ll actually be good at this, Mario. Let’s floor it.
They zoom off.
>>Ludwig &
Larry – seventh at route marker<<
>>Toad &
Toadette – tenth at detour<<
Toadette: Good thing we used that Super ‘Shroom
Toad: Yeah. Let’s just beat some Paratroopas.
Ludwig: We gotta get down quickly.
Larry: I have an idea. Do you have another bottle rocket?
Master Koopa: Yes I do.
Ludwig: Bottle what?
Larry: No time to explain and no time to strap in.
Larry lights the bottle rocket. It then fires them towards the bottom. They land right next to the karts.
Ludwig: Let’s grab bikes and go.
They take off.
>>Toad & Toadette – eighth at route marker<<
They land back on the ground.
Toadette: That was fun.
Toad: We’ll
walk down the mountain. Since we walked up quickly, we can walk down
quickly.
>>DK & Diddy
– first at roadblock<<
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – second at roadblock<<
DK: Ha, told you we’d beat you, even though we did make a rest stop; I sure love bananas.
Dry Bones: No; we also had to make a pit stop and we beat you.
They open their clue.
Boo: Roadblock: Who wants to spend a day as a baby?
Wacky: A roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. In this roadblock, that member must complete a section of Baby Park known as Baby Mini-Camp. Each of the babies from Yoshi’s Island DS (Mario, Peach, DK, Wario, and Bowser) will have an obstacle they will have to get through. If they fail that obstacle, they must start that obstacle over. They have to go in the order arranged for them: Wario, Peach, Bowser, DK, Mario. GIMB shall be helping Baby DK on his task. Once a team member has completed all five tasks, Baby Daisy will hand them their next clue.
Diddy: I need to go practice the guitar… in that bush.
DK: Nope, you’re not getting out of this one.
DK throws Diddy into the building.
Dry Bones: I’ll do this one; you did the last one.
Dry Bones walks in.
Baby Luigi: Hewo, I am Baby Weegee. The only way you will be a twoo baby is by wearing a diaper.
Dry Bones: I’m not wearing a diaper.
Baby Luigi: You muss, or you will never be able to beat the tass.
Diddy reluctantly puts on the diaper.
Diddy: I got diaper rash.
Diddy starts scratching his butt. Dry Bones also puts on a diaper.
Dry Bones: Let’s just get this over with.
They walk into the first room.
Baby Wario: The thing I wike to do the mose is pway in the big coworful balls.
Diddy: So, we just have to walk across the big colorful balls?
Baby Wario: Exactwy.
Dry Bones: All right, let’s go; minus the diaper, this is really easy.
Baby Wario: Now, to make the game extwa fun, I bwought my fwiend, Mister Twompy Twomp.
Dry Bones: What?
Baby Wario: A Chain Chomp.
Diddy: What?
Baby Wario: You get a thwee-second head start.
Both: What?!
Dry Bones: Dude, you’re a baby, this is cruel.
Baby Wario: This isn’t cwuel, this is fun! Weady, set, go!
Diddy and Dry Bones sprint as fast as they can through the balls.
Baby Wario: Go get them, Chompy.
Chain Chomp: ARF! ARF! ARF!
Dry Bones and Diddy: OH MY DAD!
They both hide within the pit of colorful balls. The Chain Chomp starts searching for them.
Diddy: (How on Plit am I going to get out of this alive? Aw darn, diaper rash.)
Diddy scratches himself.
Diddy: (I got it!)
Diddy gets out his peanut popgun and shoots a peanut into the air. He knocks out a ceiling light. It falls down and hits the Chomp in the head. It is completely unphased.
Diddy: Wow, when I drilled it up in my head, it seemed a lot better. Oh well, time to run out of the balls screaming like an idiot. AHHHHHHH!
Diddy makes a dash for the door. The Chain Chomp goes after him. Diddy pulls out his popgun and points it at the Chomp.
Diddy: Don’t move!
The Chain Chomp keeps going at him full speed.
Diddy: Well, that didn’t work at all.
Diddy then throws the popgun at the Chomp. It only seems to make the Chomp angrier.
Diddy: OH MAN!
Diddy then makes a leap for the door. He gets in and closes it just before the Chomp gets him.
Diddy: Wow, I made it.
Dry Bones: Nice job.
Diddy: What?! I thought you were still in the balls.
Dry Bones: Well, unlike you, I made it out quietly.
Diddy: Well,
the next task can’t be so bad, right? Right? RIGHT?
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – Onett<<
Bowser Jr: I think this is the warp pipe incognito.
Bowser: No one even knows what that means! Besides, that’s just a Bush.
George Bush: That there plant thang!
GIMB: Ha ha, more inside jokes. You’d get it if you read our Interviews.
Wacky: You really need to stop with these.
GIMB: I ain’t stopping until I get someone to laugh.
Wacky: Oh
jeez, we’re gonna be here forever.
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – Dogfight Task<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – Dogfight Task<<
Bamma: Watch and learn, boys.
He flies into the air, takes out the three Paratroopas very quickly, and lands back down.
Bamma: Ta-dah!
Hamma: If it took you that long to do that, why didn’t you say something when we were suggesting fighting Chubs?
Chubs: YOU ALL WEAK!
Bamma just shrugs his shoulders.
Hamma: Whatever, just give us a clue.
>>Hamma, Bamma, & Flare – ninth at route marker<<
Yoshi: Look what I have, Peach: a Superstar.
Cheesy music begins to play. Yoshi gets hit three times, but his glider doesn’t fall. He then takes out the two Paratroopas.
Bamma: Where did they get the Star?
Master Koopa: They bought one; I have tons.
Flare: Give me one of them.
Master Koopa: Here you go, and since you bought a Star, you get to ride a cloud down.
>>Peach & Yoshi – tenth at route marker<<
All five of them jump on a cloud. Peach and Yoshi grab the last bikes.
Hamma: What are we gonna do? There are no more bikes, two more karts, and two doubles.
Bamma: I call driving the double.
Flare: No, I call driving the double.
The two then start fighting.
Hamma: I guess I’m driving the double, just like I’m doing all of the roadblocks.
They all jump on. They take off as Toad and Toadette reach the bottom.
Toad: I guess we’re taking the karts.
Toadette:
Yeah, but we’d better hurry to Baby Park as fast as we can; teams are probably
already there.
>>Dry Bones & Diddy – Roadblock<<
Baby Peach: I’m gwad you made it past the Chain Chomp.
Diddy: Barely.
Diddy scratches his butt.
Baby Peach: Don’t worry, my task is ooper fun!
Diddy: Ooper?
Baby Peach: We get to fwolic in the fwowers.
Dry Bones: Forget this; I can’t understand a gosh darn thing they’re saying!
Baby Peach: Just pick five fwowers and bwing them back to me, but choose wisely.
Diddy: Forget this!
Diddy just grabs ten flowers at once. A Piranha Plant bites his arm.
Diddy: Oh yeah?
Diddy reaches for his peanut popgun with his free arm, but can’t find it.
Diddy: Oh right, I threw it at the Chain Chomp.
Diddy then gets dragged underground.
Dry Bones: What happened to him?
Baby Peach: No one knows.
Dry Bones: This is crazy!
Dry Bones then approaches the flowers very cautiously. He grabs a flower and screams, retreating. Nothing happens. This repeats three more times.
Dry Bones: Can I hand you the flowers I got already?
Baby Peach: Sure, why not?
Dry Bones hands her the flowers. He goes for the final flower, but Petey Piranha jumps out. Petey roars in Dry Bones’s face.
Dry Bones: Run or fight?
Petey flies into the air and dive bombs toward him.
Dry Bones: Baby Peach, get me out of this room!
Dry Bones then throws her the final flower.
Baby Peach: You’re free to go.
Dry Bones dives for the door. He grabs the handle as Petey bites onto his ankle. Dry Bones grabs a stick.
Dry Bones: Oh no, you don’t. *clunk clunk clunk clunk*
Petey: Well… Well… Well… DER!
Petey lets go. Dry Bones opens the door, runs through it, and slams it shut.
>>Diddy – somewhere in field of flowers<<
Diddy is now sitting in a courtroom. Everyone else in the room is a Piranha Plant.
Piranha Plant Lawyer: So, you have been accused of the terrible crime of “grabbing flowers”.
Everyone in the audience gasps.
Diddy: C’mon, I didn’t even know that I was doing something wrong.
A Piranha Plant Bailiff then whips him.
Bailiff: Shut up!
Lawyer: Is this true?
Diddy: Well, yes, but…
Lawyer: Guilty!
Juror #2: Guilty!
Juror #8: Guilty!
The judge then slams his gavel.
Judge: Guilty!
The Bailiff whips Diddy again.
Bailiff: Guilty.
Judge: Diddy Kong, your punishment for committing such a villainous crime, is to dance.
Diddy: Dance?
Bailiff: Dance, monkey boy, dance!
Diddy starts dancing to a weird techno rhythm. The Piranha Plants start to breakdance. They get so into it that they don’t notice Diddy leave.
Diddy: Here are the five flowers. I hate plants.
Diddy walks through
the door.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – Onett… still<<
Bowser: That’s it, time for drastic measures.
Bowser reaches into his shell and pulls out a shotgun.
Bowser: Never thought I’d have to use this.
Bowser then kicks down the drugstore door.
Bowser: Where’s the warp pipe?!
Jim: Uh, it’s right in the trash can.
Bowser: Oh.
Bowser picks up Jr. and jumps in.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser reads the clue quickly and then runs into the orb shop.
Bowser: Gimme all of your cannon orbs!
Koopa Salesman: Fine, fine, take them, we only have three.
Bowser then uses them and gets to the top.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at detour<<
Bowser Jr: How are we gonna defeat someone named Chubs, Papa?
Chubs: CHUBS GONNA…
Boom!
Bowser shoots Chubs with his shotgun. Chubs is blasted out of the arena and is sent plummeting to the bottom.
Bowser: That’s how we do it in Dark Land.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser Jr: Papa, why do you have that weird look in your eyes?
Bowser picks up Jr. with his free hand, puts the clue in his mouth, and holds the shotgun in the other hand.
Bowser: (muffled)
I’ve got an idea.*
*Disclaimer:
Warning, what Bowser is about to attempt should only be attempted by professionals
and/or nutjobs. Do not try this at home.
Bowser then sprints
towards the edge and jumps. He starts screaming like a maniac and
fires random shotgun shells into the air. They then land in the double
kart and take off.
>>Toad & Toadette – somewhere between Pagoda Peak and Baby Park<<
Toadette: It’s a nice day for a drive, isn’t it?
Toad: Yeah, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and…
Poom! Screeeeeeeech! Bang!
Apparently, one of the shotgun shells Bowser fired has hit Toad’s back tire. The kart spins out of control and slams into a rock formation. Toad’s head gets lodged between a rock and a hard place. GIMB slaps his knee.
GIMB: Get it? It’s Greek.
Wacky: I hate you.
Toadette: Oh my god, are you okay?
Toad: %$#@@#$#@$#@$@$@%@.
Toadette:
Well then…
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – third at roadblock<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – fourth at roadblock<<
Iggy: How hard can it be? It’s a baby mini-camp.
Lemmy: Yeah, I’ll do it.
Wario: Waluigi, you can actually do this one.
Waluigi: I can, there’s no need to be afraid; it’s babies!
Five minutes later…
Lemmy: The diaper’s really uncomfortable.
Waluigi: WAHHHHHH!
Baby Wario: Good evening, we are going to wun thwough big coworful balls.
Lemmy: Yes, I love this task.
Baby Wario: But to make it much more interesting, we bwought a Chain Chomp.
Waluigi: WAHHHHHHHH!
Baby Wario: Go.
Lemmy and Waluigi sprint for their lives.
Baby Wario: Go get ‘em, Chompy.
The Chain Chomp bites Waluigi and starts to drag him under.
Waluigi: No, let go of me!
Lemmy: On that note…
Lemmy slams the door shut.
Waluigi: Owwww!
Chain Chomp:
ARF!
>>Dry Bones – third room<<
Dry Bones: What on Plit am I going to do?
Baby Bowser: I like Bullet Bills, they’re my favorite.
Dry Bones: Of course you do; you couldn’t have just said that I get to ride around in a wagon, could you?
Baby Bowser: Well, technically, you are.
Dry Bones: Yes!
Baby Bowser: Technically you are riding a Bullet Bill, is what I meant.
Dry Bones: Hahahahaha, not funny.
Baby Bowser: All right, here’s the thing: you jump on a Bullet Bill and ride it across a tightrope over sharp rocks.
Dry Bones: Why do all of you babies like pain?
Baby Bowser: Because it’s fun.
Dry Bones: Psychos, I say. Psychos.
Baby Bowser: Time to ride the lightning!
A Bullet Bill comes over.
Bullet Bill: Hey, my name is Jeff.
Dry Bones: Hey, uh, Jeff. Wouldn’t it be Bill?
Jeff: Are you stereotyping me? Is that a fat joke?
Dry Bones: Wait, what? No.
Jeff: You’re gonna die!
Dry Bones: Can I have a new Bullet Bill?
Baby Bowser: Nope, sorry.
Jeff: So wait, you try to replace me after saying stereotypical things to me and calling me fat.
Dry Bones: I never called you fat!
Dry Bones jumps on Jeff. He starts riding it with ease.
Dry Bones: Hey, this is pretty easy.
Jeff starts doing corkscrews.
Dry Bones: I’m… getting… sick… yet… I have… no… stomach.
As Dry Bones falls off, he lands on the other side. Jeff crashes into the wall.
Dry Bones: Glad that’s over.
As Dry Bones gets up, Diddy walks into the room.
Diddy: What am I doing?
Dry Bones: Good luck, Diddy. Hopefully your Bullet Bill isn’t a jerk like mine.
Dry Bones then walks into the next room.
Diddy: My
what?
>>Morton &
Roy – fifth at roadblock<<
>>Mario &
Luigi – sixth at roadblock<<
Boo: What on Plit do you think they’re doing in there? They’re taking forever.
Roy: I’m too manly to be a baby, you do it.
Roy throws Morton into the building.
Mario: I’ll do it. It’s-a me, Mario.
Mario then runs into the building.
Luigi: I have a feeling I’m never going to see him again.
>>Inside<<
Morton: Let’s go, I’m ready to run through some colorful balls.
Baby Wario: Be careful of the Chain Chomp.
Waluigi: Help me!
Mario: I know how to beat it!
Morton: Yeah, right, Mario; since when do you know what you’re doing?
The ground theme from Super Mario Bros. begins to play. Mario walks through casually as the Chain Chomp starts to dance. He gets to the other side with ease as the music stops.
Mario: Everyone knows that Chain Chomps like music.
Mario then walks into the next room.
Morton: I never knew that.
Morton pulls out a fiddle and plays it until he gets to the other side. He then walks through the door. Waluigi looks at his captor.
Waluigi: (singing) Please let me go, it would be nice.
Chain Chomp: (angrily) ARF ARF ARF!
Waluigi: WAHHHHH!
>>Next room<<
Mario: So how’s the next task, Lemmy?
Lemmy: I fought through dozens of Piranha Plants, including ones that shoot fire, ones that shoot ice, ones that are poisonous, and ones that shoot acid. I didn’t even know those ones existed. Here are your five flowers. I’m tired of plants; I don’t know how Larry does it.
Lemmy walks into the next room.
Diddy: How on Plit am I going to do this?
Diddy wraps his tail around the Bullet Bill.
Diddy: Success!
The Bullet Bill flies off, but Diddy stays on it.
Diddy: Ooh, look at all the sharp rocks.
The Bullet Bill crashes and Diddy falls on the other side.
Diddy: Good luck to you, Lemmy.
Diddy walks into the next room.
Lemmy: What am I doing?
Baby Bowser: You’re riding a Bullet Bill.
Lemmy: All right, shouldn’t be much harder than riding a ball.
Lemmy gets onto a Bullet Bill. It travels about four feet and Lemmy falls off.
Lemmy: Ahhhhhhh!
PAIN!
>>Ludwig & Larry – seventh at roadblock<<
Boo: Oh my gosh, they are taking forever!
DK: Look at the bright side; I’ve got a banana.
DK then starts to eat the banana.
Ludwig: I’ll do it.
Ludwig walks in
Ludwig: Aw, I don’t wanna wear a diaper, that’s just weird.
Baby Luigi: You mush!
Ludwig: Mush?
Baby Luigi: Just get going.
Ludwig: All right, time to run through some colorful balls.
Waluigi: HELP!
Ludwig: Nah, I don’t think I’m going to.
Ludwig starts to walk through the balls. The Chain Chomp charges at him with Waluigi still in his mouth.
Ludwig: OH DAD!
Ludwig reaches into his shell and pulls out a Bob-omb. He throws it at the Chain Chomp and it explodes. The explosion scares the Chain Chomp and causes him to drop Waluigi.
Waluigi: FREEDOM!
Waluigi and Ludwig
sprint to the door.
>>Dry Bones – fourth room<<
Dry Bones: Wait, what am I doing?
Baby DK: This is the third time I’ve explained this. All you’re doing is walking across a bridge.
Dry Bones: Yeah, that part I’m not worried about. What I am worried about is that you have all of those guys shooting at me.
Baby DK: Fine, we’ll have an introduction. We have Chunky Kong, Krusha, Tiny Kong, Lanky Kong, DK JR, King K. Rool, and GIMB.
Chunky: I’ve got pineapples.
Krusha: I’ve got orange grenades.
Tiny: I’ve got feathers.
Lanky: I’ve got grapes.
DK JR: I’ve got coconuts.
King K. Rool: I’ve got giant crystals.
GIMB: I’ve got a rock. Get it, Charlie Brown joke.
Wacky: Just shut up, already!
Dry Bones: Aside from all of that, were the Klaptraps necessary?
There is a river flowing underneath the bridge, and there are tons of Klaptraps in there.
Baby DK: Yes, yes it was. Begin!
Dry Bones starts to walk very slowly.
Chunky: FIRE!
A gigantic crossfire forms over the bridge.
Dry Bones: AHHHHHHH!
Dry Bones is hit by a rock, then a giant crystal, and then gets knocked off by a pineapple.
Dry Bones: Aw man, I’m done for!
Dry Bones is suddenly saved from his impending doom. He is then thrown by his savior ahead to the door. Dry Bones looks up and sees a giant, human-shaped mound of cool whip.
Cool Whip: You’re welcome.
The cool whip jumps back into the river.
Dry Bones: I don’t believe it; cool whip just saved my life.
GIMB: C’mon, that’s hilarious.
Wacky: No, fail!
Wacky then pushes GIMB into the river. Dry Bones walks into the next room. The room is completely dark except for a small light, revealing Baby Mario standing there.
Baby Mario: So, you’ve made it this far.
Dry Bones: Barely.
Baby Mario: My task is the hardest by far.
Dry Bones: How can it get much harder?
Baby Mario: A baby’s worst fear is getting spanked.
Dry Bones: Say what?
Baby Mario: You must get spanked by Master Hand.
Master Hand: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Dry Bones: That laugh always freaked me out.
WHACK!
Dry Bones flies through the darkness and lands right next to Baby Daisy in a surprisingly well-lit room.
Baby Daisy: You did an amazing job. Here’s your next clue.
Dry Bones: (weakly) Thank… you.
Dry Bones grabs
the clue, takes off the diaper, and limps towards the door.
>>Morton & Mario – second room<<
Morton: Holy cow, Petey’s gonna kill me.
Petey: Foooooooood!
Mario: I already have four flowers, just give me another one.
Mario is staring down a Frost Piranha.
Mario: You have frozen my left leg, it is really hard to move right now, so just make it easy and give me that flower.
Instead, the Frost Piranha breathes a thicker coat of ice on his leg.
Mario: So that’s the way it’s gonna be, huh?
With tremendous force, Mario swings his left leg and hits the Frost Piranha. The Frost Piranha is sent flying and the impact shatters the ice on Mario’s leg.
Mario: Here we go!
Mario grabs the last flower, gives it to Baby Peach, and goes to the door.
Mario: Good luck with your task, Morton.
Morton: Mmmmmmmmmmmmph!
Morton’s legs
are hanging out of Petey’s mouth. Mario walks through the door.
>>Lemmy – third room<<
Lemmy: Ahhhhhh! My hands are so red.
Mario: You know that’s fruit punch, right?
Lemmy: Oh, right.
Mario: Did you fall?
Lemmy: Yeah, and it kind of left a mark.
There are tons of jagged rocks impaled in Lemmy’s leg.
Mario: Ooooh.
Mario attempts to jump onto a Bullet Bill, but he just kills it.
Mario: Darn it.
Mario keeps trying to get on one, but the same thing keeps happening.
Mario: Gosh darn these video game puns.
The audience bursts out laughing.
GIMB: Oh, c’mon! That’s not even funny!
Wacky comes over to GIMB, wiping a tear from his eye.
Wacky: Dude, that guy knows comedy. You could learn something from him.
GIMB: That’s
it, I’m done.
>>Diddy – fourth room<<
Diddy: Ow… Stupid… grapes… keep…on…hitting…me. OW! That one was a rock!
An orange knocks Diddy into the river. About five minutes later, Diddy comes out battle-scarred.
Diddy: You know what, I’m flying.
Diddy attempts to takeoff with his rocket pack, but before he can, a pineapple hits him in the stomach. Diddy falls to the ground.
Diddy: (very softly) Lost… air. *normal voice* Wait a minute, I’m a monkey.
Diddy grabs the underside of the bridge and gets to the other side easily.
Diddy: I should’ve thought of that an hour ago.
Diddy walks into the next room.
Baby Mario: Are you ready?
Diddy: It’s on like Donkey Kong.
DK: Why do I have the feeling I was just used in a pun? Why do I have the feeling I should eat a banana? Wait, I’ve got an idea.
DK pulls out a
banana and eats it.
>>Peach &
Yoshi - eighth at roadblock<<
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – ninth at roadblock<<
Boo: Do you know what I’d love? I’d love Dry Bones to get out here!
DK: I’d love a banana!
DK takes out another banana and eats it. Dry Bones walks out of the building with the clue.
Boo: Finally. You took-
Dry Bones: Shut your mouth! I was abused, shot at, spanked, and saved by cool whip. Shut your %#@$ mouth!
DK: Woah! Cursing is not necessary, but a banana is.
DK takes out a third banana and eats it.
>>Dry Bones & Boo – first at route marker<<
Dry Bones: Thank DAD the pit stop is only fifty yards away.
Wacky: Teams must now travel fifty yards to the entrance to the roller coaster and the pit stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here will be eliminated.
Dry Bones: Carry me, Boo.
Boo then carries him to the pit stop.
Birdo: Welcome to Baby Park!
Wacky: Dry Bones and Boo, you are team number one!
>>DRY BONES & BOO – FIRST PLACE<<
Wacky: And, as winners of this leg of the race, you get to ride the roller coaster as many times as you want for free.
Dry Bones: Yes, this is so worth it!
Yoshi: I got it.
He walks in.
Bamma: Flare, you are going in there. Are you ready?
Flare: I am ready!
Hamma: I want you in and out in two minutes. Do I make myself clear?
Flare: Crystal, sir!
Flare runs into the building. Two minutes later, he and Diddy walk out with clues.
>>DK & Diddy
– second at route marker<<
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – third at route marker<<
Iggy: What?! How is that even possible? No one has been that quick!
Hamma: I’m even impressed. Maybe that will make up for the fact that someone’s an idiot.
Hamma looks at Bamma, who is trying to put his leg over his head while blowing bubbles.
Hamma: How on Plit did you do it?
Flare: Well, here’s how it went down. In the first room, I used Yoshi as a shield from the Chain Chomp. In the second room, when the Piranha Plants tried to eat me, I just burned them. In the third room, I rode the Bullet Bill easily because I volcano-surfed when I was young. In the fourth room, I used the Star we bought from Master Fung. In the fifth room, I met up with Diddy and we beat the task easily.
Hamma: Well, while you were giving that explanation, DK and Diddy finished.
Wacky: DK and Diddy, you are team number two!
>>DK & DIDDY – SECOND PLACE<<
All three of the Bros. jump on the mat.
Wacky: Hamma, Bamma, and Flare, you are team number three!
>>HAMMA, BAMMA, & FLARE – THIRD PLACE<<
>>Lemmy & Mario – third room<<
Mario: And that’s how you ride a Bullet Bill.
Lemmy: What are you talking about? I taught you.
Mario: Fine, then I’ll help you in the next room.
They walk through the door. Mario uses a fire tornado, burning all of the projectiles. Mario and Lemmy run across.
King K. Rool: Wait a minute, how do you burn a crystal?
GIMB: How do you burn a rock?
Krusha: The most important question is if you burn a grenade, wouldn’t it just explode?
DK JR: I thought you were dumb.
Krusha: I’m not dumb.
Krusha then takes a bite out of one of his orange grenades. It explodes, knocking out a few of his teeth.
Krusha:
I gotta remember not to eat those oranges.
>>Morton, Waluigi, & Ludwig – second room<<
Morton: So long, suckers! I’m done, I’m free, I finally got that fifth flower. I’m a genius, it was quite a smart plan how I tricked that Petey Piranha, oh yes it was.
Baby Peach: You realize you’re talking only to me, because the other two left about ten minutes ago.
Yoshi then walks into the room.
Yoshi: I can’t believe it. Flare just physically abused my body. Wait a minute, we’re picking flowers? I’ve done this before. You just pick the ones with the yellow centers. That way, the Piranha Plants don’t come out.
Yoshi then picks up five flowers easily and hands them to Baby Peach.
Morton: Wait, that’s all we had to do? This is dumb; this must be some type of trick. If I had known before…
Baby Peach: You’re just talking to me again.
Morton: Darn it!
Morton then walks
into the next room.
>>Mario & Lemmy – fifth room<<
BAM! WHACK!
Baby Daisy: Here are your clues, guys.
>>Mario &
Luigi – fourth at route marker<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – fifth at route marker<<
Mario: It’s on.
Lemmy: You bet it is.
They both run out. They get to their partners and read the clues quickly. Lemmy and Iggy sprint off with Mario and Luigi right behind them. Luigi throws a fireball at Iggy, making him slip. He quickly regains his balance, but not quickly enough.
Wacky: Mario and Luigi, you are team number four! Lemmy and Iggy, you are team number five!
>>MARIO &
LUIGI – FOURTH PLACE<<
>>LEMMY &
IGGY – FIFTH PLACE<<
>>Waluigi, Ludwig, Yoshi, & Morton – third room<<
Yoshi: Guys, I’ve got an idea. If we all work together, none of us will be eliminated.
Ludwig: That’s a great plan.
They all ride Bullet Bills chained together to make sure no one falls off. They go to the next room.
Yoshi: All right, guys, help me throw eggs to counter what they are shooting.
They do as Yoshi instructed. However, Morton throws an egg at Waluigi, knocking him off the bridge.
Morton: Oops.
Yoshi: Wait, guys, no man gets left behind.
Ludwig and Morton: Hahahahaha!
They run into the next room.
Yoshi: Jerks. Hang on, Waluigi!
Waluigi: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Waluigi is getting mugged by Klaptraps. Yoshi uses his tongue to pick up Waluigi. They run into the next room.
>>Morton &
Roy – sixth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – seventh at route marker<<
All four of the team members stroll to the pit stop.
Wacky: Morton and Roy, you are team number six! Ludwig and Larry, you are team number seven!
>>MORTON &
ROY – SIXTH PLACE<<
>>LUDWIG &
LARRY – SEVENTH PLACE<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – eighth at route marker<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – ninth at route marker<<
Yoshi and Peach are able to outrun Wario and Waluigi to the mat.
Wacky: Peach and Yoshi, you are team number eight! Wario and Waluigi, you are team number nine!
>>PEACH &
YOSHI – EIGHTH PLACE<<
>>WARIO &
WALUIGI – NINTH PLACE<<
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – tenth at roadblock<<
>>Toad &
Toadette – last at roadblock<<
Toad: I ain’t gonna &%#@ lose!
Bowser: I’m counting on you, Jr.
They both run into the building.
Bowser Jr: We need to put on diapers?
Toad: I already got mine on.
Baby Luigi: That’s just weird.
In the first room, Bowser Jr. decides to jump over the Chain Chomp while Toad goes under.
Toad: Hey, I found a popgun.
In the second room, Bowser Jr. is able to fight off the Piranha Plants as Shadow Mario. Toad is able to beat them with his new popgun. They run into the third room.
Toad: I ain’t going down!
Bowser Jr: Oh, you are, because I ain’t losing either.
They both jump onto their Bullet Bills. Toad shoots peanuts at Bowser Jr. as Bowser Jr. breathes fire at Toad, but neither fall off. In the fourth room, they both sprint across the bridge, dodging all of the flying objects.
Toad: Ah, my eye!
A stray feather struck Toad in his eye. At that moment, a coconut hits Toad and knocks him off of the bridge.
Toad: Nooooo!
Bowser Jr. runs into the fifth room and finishes his task.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – tenth at route marker<<
Bowser Jr: I beat him, Papa!
Bowser: Way to go, Jr!
They jump onto the mat.
Wacky: Bowser and Bowser Jr, you are team number ten!
>>BOWSER & BOWSER JR. – TENTH PLACE<<
>>Toad & Toadette – last at route marker<<
Toadette: Let’s end with honor.
Toad: This is #$@%!
Wacky: Toad and Toadette, you are the last team to arrive. You have been eliminated.
>>TOAD & TOADETTE – ELIMINATED<<
GIMB: Will I ever make anyone laugh?
Wacky: Probably not.
GIMB: This is dumb.
Wacky: We’ve still got eight more legs to go.
GIMB: I’ll definitely make someone laugh by then.
Wacky: Hahaha, no.