Wacky: Hello, Amazing Race fans, and welcome to yet another spoof of the Amazing Race, THE *INSERT ADJECTIVE HERE* RACE!
Amazing Race Fan: Woo-hoo!
Wacky: What, only one fan?
GIMB: Yeah, seems everyone is watching Crazy Mexican Bullfighting.
Wacky: What?!
GIMB: It’s a great new show provided by FOX.
Wacky: All right, go eat the people at FOX.
GIMB: Okay.
GIMB runs off
Wacky: Now, where was I? Oh, yes. We’re here live at Icicle Mountain (the Ice Climbers’ stage in Super Smash Bros. Melee) to start off this race for a two bucks off your next haircut coupon as a consolation prize.
Tons of Amazing Race Fans: YEAH! ALL RIGHT! WOO-HOO!
Wacky: How’d we get so many fans?
GIMB: I would have eaten the people at FOX, but there was too much security. So I made up some crazy lie that they were getting sued for $2 billion.
Wacky: What did you say?
GIMB: That Joe Buck was the most annoying announcer of all time and that everyone is suing them.
Wacky: You do realize that Joe Buck actually is the most annoying announcer ever, don’t you?
GIMB: Wacky say WHA? Anyway, I don’t fell like giving long and boring intros like most people do, so I’ll say this once and I won’t repeat it. mario&luigi; peach&yoshi; wario&waluigi; toad&toadette; dk&diddy; bowser&bowserjr; ludwig&larry; lemmy&iggy; morton&roy; wendy&susan; drybones&boo; and hammabamma&flare. Go!!!
Everyone: The race started?
GIMB: Yep, and at this rate, you’re going to end at the pitstop ten seconds later than you should.
Everyone takes off for the clue box.
Wacky: You didn’t even explain why there is a team of three on the race.
GIMB: They’ll
figure it out. Also, the grand prize is two wishes.
>>Peach & Yoshi – first at route marker<<
Peach: Now all we have to do is climb Icicle Mountain
Yoshi: When you say it like that, you make it sound easy.
Wacky: Teams must
now climb Icicle Mountain to The Summit, a fighting stage in Super Smash
Bros. Brawl. Though it may seem impossible from Melee, it’s possible now.
Once there, teams will find their next clue.
>>Wario & Waluigi – second at route marker<<
Wario: Now, to read the clue.
Waluigi: WAH! I’m scared of clues!
Wario: *sigh* Let’s go.
>>Mario & Luigi – third at route marker<<
Mario: SWISS CHEESE!
Luigi: WHY?! Why do I always have to be paired up with you?
Mario: Because I can jump really high. Wanna see?
Luigi jumps onto Mario’s back. Mario jumps at 400 mph and lands at The Summit within two seconds
Mario: Here we are, Luigi.
Luigi: *twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch*
Luigi falls over unconscious
>>Mario & Luigi – first at detour<<
Mario: Detour: Topi or Freezie?
Wacky: A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour, the choices are Topi and Freezie. In Topi, teams must scale the mountain in search of ten Topis. Once they have caught ten Topis, they must head back to The Summit, where Axem Green will hand them their next clue. In Freezie, teams must get on a snowboard and ride down the side of the mountain. The reason this task is called Freezie is because Polar Bears will be throwing Freezies at them. If they get hit by a Freezie, they will have to start at the top again. Once both members have successfully made it down the mountain, Axem Black will hand them their next clue.
Mario: Let’s do Freezie. Let’s-a go, Luigi.
Mario grabs his
unconscious brother and heads over to the snowboards
>>Toad & Toadette – fourth at route marker<<
Toad: That’s a $#%@ good clue.
Toadette: Toad, you curse way too much. I think you should stop.
Toad: There’s
no %$#@ way I’m going to stop.
>>Hamma, Bamma, and Flare – fifth at route marker<<
Bamma: Let’s go.
Bamma then starts climbing down the mountain.
Hamma and Flare: You’re supposed to climb up!
Bamma stops for a second, shrugs his shoulders, and continues to climb down.
Hamma: Should we go after him?
Flare: Yeah, why not.
Hamma and Flare
begin to climb after Bamma.
>>Wendy & Susan – sixth at route marker<<
Susan: Look’s like the Bros. are climbing down.
Wendy: Let’s go after them.
Susan: Don’t you think we should read the clue first?
Wendy: Nah. If they’re climbing down, we should go after them.
Wendy & Susan
begin climbing down after the Bros.
>>Mario & Luigi – Freezie challenge<<
Mario: All right, first I put my left foot in the left slot.
Mario does so.
Mario: Now I put my right foot in the right slot.
Instead, Mario puts his finger up his nose
Mario: Okay, let’s-a go.
Mario slides about three yards and falls on his face. He then starts rolling down the mountain and eventually becomes the form of a giant snowball. Mario is moving so fast that the Polar Bears can’t get a bead on him. Mario eventually hits the bottom of the mountain and the snowball explodes. Mario and Luigi (still unconscious) roll right in front of Axem Black
Axem Black: Hmm, the clue never said anything about restarting if you wipe out, so here’s your clue.
Mario takes it and eats it.
Axem Black: You’re supposed to read it, not eat it.
Mario then pulls it out of his mouth. It’s covered in saliva
Axem Black: Okay, that’s just nasty.
>>Mario & Luigi – first at route marker<<
Luigi finally wakes up.
Luigi: Huh? What happened?
Mario: We’re going to Onett.
Wacky: Teams must now travel to Onett, Ness’ hometown. Once there, they must head to the drugstore. Outside, Lucas will hand them their next clue.
Mario: C’mon, Luigi. We need a taxi.
Luigi: TAXI!
PJ from F-Zero GX comes over
Luigi: Wait, haven’t I seen you before?
PJ: I doubt it. Where to, boys?
Luigi: Onett.
The Groovy Taxi then starts to fly.
Luigi: Hey, I have seen you before.
PJ: We’ll be in Onett in about two hours. Relax and enjoy the music.
PJ puts on Taylor Swift.
Luigi: No, anything but that!
PJ switches to Miley Cyrus.
Luigi: The
only thing worse.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – seventh at route marker<<
Bowser: Jr! Why did you go to the bathroom now? I told you to use it before we left.
Bowser Jr: But Papa, I didn’t have to go before.
Bowser: Well, look. Two more teams passed us. Why you little…
Bowser begins
strangling Bowser Jr. like Homer would strangle Bart.
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – eighth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – ninth at route marker<<
Ludwig: Let’s wait for Morton and Roy.
Iggy: Sure, that’s a great idea, Ludwig..
Larry: Let us
wait.
>>Dry Bones & Boo – tenth at route marker<<
Dry Bones: We have to climb the mountain.
Boo: My specialty.
Dry Bones jumps
on Boo, and Boo flies up to the top of the mountain
>>Peach & Yoshi – Very High up Icicle Mountain<<
Dry Bones and Boo pass Peach and Yoshi
Yoshi: I wish I could do that.
Peach: Just keep
climbing, Yoshi
>>Dry Bones & Boo – second at detour<<
Dry Bones: Let’s do Freezie, it’s easier.
Boo: All right.
They both get on snowboards and easily make it down the mountain.
Axem Black: Great job, guys. Here’s your clue.
>>Dry Bones & Boo – second at route marker<<
Dry Bones: We’re going to Onett.
Boo: TAXI!
Crazy Taxi pulls up
Dry Bones: What is with these taxis?
Boo: To Onett, please.
Crazy Taxi: Sure thing.
Screech!
>>Morton & Roy – eleventh at route marker<<
Roy: Morton, I’m going to pound you.
Morton: Wait, that would hurt, you shouldn’t do that, that isn’t nice. I know it’s my entire fault, but please, please, PLEASE don’t hurt me!
Roy: I won’t if you shut up.
Morton does as he is told
Iggy: Guys, we waited for you.
Roy: Thanks. What’s the task?
Lemmy: We have to climb Icicle Mountain.
Larry: I’ve got an idea. Everyone, jump on Lemmy’s ball, except for Ludwig.
They all do.
Larry: I’ve got a five-pound chocolate bar. Run, Ludwig, run!
Ludwig starts running up the mountain faster than Mario jumped. They get to The Summit within a second.
>>Ludwig &
Larry – third at detour<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – fourth at detour<<
>>Morton &
Roy – fifth at detour<<
Larry: Ludwig, do the Freezie task and then you’ll be one step closer to getting that chocolate bar.
Ludwig starts running down the mountain so fast that the Polar Bear’s Freezies start melting. Within seconds, they are at the bottom.
Axem Black: O.O Here’s your clue, I guess.
>>Ludwig &
Larry – third at route marker<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – fourth at route marker<<
>>Morton &
Roy – fifth at route marker<<
Larry: Bring us to Onett, Ludwig, and the chocolate bar is yours.
Ludwig gets to Onett within 5 minutes.
Lucas: Wow, guys. Here’s your clue.
>>Ludwig &
Larry – first at roadblock<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – second at roadblock<<
>>Morton &
Roy – third at roadblock<<
Larry: Roadblock: Who’s good at playing dodgeball?
Wacky: A roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. In this roadblock, that member must play a game of dodgeball, but with a little twist in it. They are only on defense; they cannot throw a ball and they cannot use a ball as a shield. Lucas and Ness will be throwing Mr. Saturns, and the teammember has to dodge them while also dodging oncoming traffic for two minutes. If they are hit by a Mr. Saturn or a car, they will incur a five minute penalty and must sit out for that time. Once that time has run out, they will continue from the time they had left when they were hit. To make it more interesting, GIMB will be chucking footballs at the teams. Teams will not incur a penalty if they are hit by a football, but Belly can chuck them at 170mph and that would hurt. Pretty much, if you get hit by a football, you will be hit by a Mr. Saturn or a car. Once a member has completed the two minutes, GIMB will hand them their next clue.
Larry: I’ll do it; Ludwig needs a break.
Ludwig is on the ground, gasping for air and eating the chocolate bar.
Iggy: I’ll do it, Lemmy.
Roy: Last time I trusted you, Morton, you failed me. I’ll do it.
Larry, Iggy, and
Roy get ready.
>>Hamma, Bamma, and Flare – Icicle Mountain<<
Hamma and Flare: Why are you climbing down?!
Bamma: Simple, so we can take this chairlift up. By doing this, we will save time. Plus, I found this thing that will make us go faster.
Hamma: CRANK IT!
They crank it as far as it will go. They travel up the mountain at 3,000mph. They lift off the mountain and soar into the clouds.
Bamma: WHEEEEEE! Hi, Vishnu!
Hamma: Isn’t it hi, Mom?
Bamma: No, I’m talking about Vishnu. See?
Hamma and Flare look and sure enough, Vishnu is there.
Vishnu: This is where you go when you die.
Bamma: Bye, Vishnu.
The chair then starts to plummet back to Plit.
Hamma and Flare: AHHHHHHHH!
Bamma: WHEEEEEEE!
The chair then hits The Summit. Peach & Yoshi get to the top when they hit
>>Hamma, Bamma,
and Flare – sixth at detour<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – seventh at detour<<
Bamma: I think we should do Topi because if we do Freezie, one of us will probably get hit and then we will have to start over and that’s a waste of time.
The three Bros. then begin looking around the mountain.
Peach: Let’s do Topi.
Yoshi: Okay.
Yoshi grabs a Topi with his tongue and swallows it.
Peach: Toad Army, get me nine Topis.
A huge army of Toads suddenly appear and grab nine Topis. They then return to The Summit.
Axem Green: Here’s your clue.
>>Peach & Yoshi – sixth at route marker<<
Peach: TAXI!
Screech!
Yoshi: Finally, a normal taxi.
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Peach: Onett.
Taxi Driver: Okay.
>>DK & Diddy – last at route marker<<
Diddy: Okay, DK. Can we go now?
DK: They were having a sale on bananas.
Diddy: I really don’t care. *rip* You’re lucky this is a climbing task.
DK and Diddy start
to climb the mountain
>>Wendy & Susan – Icicle Mountain<<
Wendy: Hey, there’s Axem Black!
Axem Black: Here’s your clue, ladies.
Susan: Thanks.
>>Wendy & Susan – seventh at route marker<<
Susan: We have to travel to Onett.
Wendy: TAXI!
Screech!
Taxi Driver: Where to, ladies?
Susan: Our attractiveness is really working today.
Wendy: Onett, please.
Taxi Driver: You got it.
>>Wario & Waluigi – Icicle Mountain<<
Wario: So… tired… Must… eat… garlic!
Waluigi: I’m scared of garlic!
Wario: Tell me something you’re not afraid of.
Waluigi: WHAAAAAA!
Wario: Waluigi?
Wario climbs down and looks into a cave. A Polar Bear is dragging Waluigi by his ankle
Wario: Don’t worry, Waluigi. I’m coming
Before Wario can save his brother (Are they brothers or not?), he is tackled from behind
Bowser: Ah-ha!
Bowser Jr: Great going, Papa.
Wario: Bowser! You’re going to pay for that!
Wario and Bowser get into a huge fight. The Polar Bear gets entertained and drops Waluigi. Waluigi and Bowser Jr. then get into a slap fight. At this point, the Polar Bear is so entertained that he starts gnawing on some random guy
Random Guy: Help me!
Of course, everyone
is so distracted by the fight that nobody pays attention to him.
>>Toad & Toadette
– eighth at detour<<
>>DK & Diddy
– ninth at detour<<
Toadette: Thanks for the ride, DK.
DK: No problem.
Toad: It’s a %$#@ detour.
Diddy: You guys want to form an alliance?
Toadette: Sure.
DK: Let’s do Freezie.
Toad: OK!
Diddy: Please,
not that again.
>>Mario & Luigi – fourth at roadblock<<
Mario: I’ll do it. I can do the robot.
Mario starts doing the robot.
Luigi: I… hate… Party… in the… US…A!
Mario: I put my hands up, playing my song…
Luigi: Shut up, Mario, please.
Mario goes back to doing the robot
Luigi: It’s not
dancing, Mario. I’ll do it.
>>Larry, Iggy, & Roy – roadblock<<
Roy pushes Larry in the way of a Mr. Saturn.
Larry: Ow! My eye!
Roy: Whoops.
GIMB: Larry, five minute penalty.
Larry: I had thirty seconds left…
Larry sits out. Roy and Iggy complete it.
GIMB: Here are your clues, guys.
>>Morton &
Roy – first at route marker<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – second at route marker<<
Roy: Go into the drugstore and… buy a piece of cheese?
Wacky: Teams must go into the drugstore and buy a piece of cheese for GIMB. It can be any kind of cheese. Once they give him the cheese, he will hand them their next clue.
Roy: Is it just me, or is this a little weird?
Lemmy: Who cares?!
Lemmy and Iggy run into the store.
Morton: Come back here!
Morton and Roy
run after them.
>>Toad & Toadette
– Freezie challenge<<
>>DK & Diddy
– Freezie challenge<<
DK: You know what I’m thinking?
Diddy: Forget everything about the alliance and go ahead?
DK: Actually, I was thinking of giving me a banana, but that’s a great idea.
Diddy throws a banana at Toadette. It hits her and she gets hit by a Freezie. She and Toad get teleported to The Summit.
Toadette: I think they betrayed us.
Toad: No $#@%, Sherlock!
Axem Black: Here’s your clue, uh, monkeys?
Diddy: Thanks.
>>DK & Diddy – eighth at route marker<<
DK: TAXI!
Screech!
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Diddy: Onett please.
Taxi Driver: Sure.
>>Hamma, Bamma, & Flare –Topi Challenge<<
Hamma: Wow, this is hard! How many do you have, Flare?
Flare: Just one. How many do you have?
Hamma: Two. How many do you have, Bamma?
Hamma and Flare look over and their jaws drop. Bamma has a huge amount of Topis.
Bamma: How many do we need?
Hamma: Just ten.
Bamma: Well then, what are we going to do with all the rest?
The Polar Bear that dragged Waluigi into the cave comes up. He then spits out the guy he was chewing on.
Guy: FREE! I’M FREE!
The guy then runs away. The Polar Bear’s stomach growls and he looks at the huge stack of Topis hungrily.
Hamma: Take ten Topis and run!
Hamma grabs five, Bamma grabs three, and Flare grabs two. They then run toward The Summit as the Polar Bear reaches the giant stack.
Flare: I think now would be a good time to call the Flare Jet.
Suddenly, a black jet with red flames appears. The three get in and it flies to The Summit. A parachute deploys them and they land right next to Axem Green.
Axem Green: Here’s your clue, I guess.
>>Hamma, Bamma, & Flare – ninth at route marker<<
The Flare Jet then reappears. The three get in and it flies so fast that they don’t know where they’re going. The jet then launches them and they land eight feet in front of the Onett drugstore.
Hamma: All right, where are we supposed to go? *rip* Onett Drugstore. What luck!
The three teams on the road (Dry Bones & Boo, Peach & Yoshi, & Wendy & Susan) arrive.
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – fifth at road block<<
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – sixth at road block<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – seventh at road block<<
>>Wendy &
Susan – eighth at road block<<
Bamma: I’ll do it.
Flare: No way! I’m doing it.
Bamma and Flare then get into a fight.
Hamma: I guess I’ll do it.
GIMB: Hamma, get ready. Larry, you’re back in. Luigi, you’re done.
Luigi: Yay!
>>Mario & Luigi – third at route marker<<
Mario: CHEESE!
Mario runs into
the drugstore, Luigi following.
>>Morton &
Roy – Drugstore<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – Drugstore<<
Roy: Is this cheese?
Clerk: That’s a hamburger.
Roy: Darn it.
Lemmy: I’m sure this is cheese.
Clerk: That’s a ball. That’s, like, the eighth ball you’ve given me.
Lemmy: Dang.
Iggy: I’m 100 percent sure this is cheese.
Clerk: That’s deodorant.
Mario barges in, grabs a wheel of cheese, and slams it on the counter.
Mario: CHEESE!
Clerk: You should listen to this guy. That’ll be $2.97
Mario slams the money on the counter, grabs the cheese, runs outside, and shoves the cheese into GIMB’s face.
Mario: Eat the cheese!
Belly eats it in one bite. GIMB hands Mario his clue.
>>Mario & Luigi – first at route marker<<
Mario: Go to the pitstop behind the drugstore.
Luigi looks around the drugstore and Wacky is there waving.
Wacky: Teams must now travel approximately 10 1/2 yards behind the drugstore to the pitstop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here will be eliminated.
Mario: Let’s go, Luigi.
Mario and Luigi run behind the drugstore and jump onto the mat.
Ice Climbers: Welcome to Onett.
Luigi: Should it be… Never mind.
Wacky: Mario and Luigi, you are team number one!
>>MARIO & LUIGI – FIRST PLACE<<
Luigi: Yeah!
Mario: Does this mean I get a donut?
Wacky: No, but you get an even better prize. As winners of this leg of the race, you get a coupon for a buy one; get one free McDonald’s Iced Coffee.
Popo: Goodbye, sweet, sweet Iced Coffee.
Popo hands Luigi the coupon.
Wacky: You know you can get those for free, right?
Popo: What?
Wacky: Yeah, there’s a guy over there handing them out.
Guy: Get a buy
one; get one free McDonald’s Iced Coffee coupon.
>>Morton &
Roy – drugstore<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – drugstore<<
After seeing Mario buy the cheese, the four of them are now beating each other up for the cheese.
Clerk: Why don’t I hand you each a cheese?
Roy: That’ll do.
The four then approach the counter. The clerk hands Lemmy and Iggy Swiss cheese and hands Morton and Roy string cheese. All four dash out and try to get GIMB to eat the cheese.
Iggy: Eat our cheese.
Morton: No, eat OUR cheese.
GIMB turns around. He then turns back around very quickly and eats the string cheese.
Roy and Morton: YES!
Iggy and Lemmy: NO!
GIMB: Here’s your clue.
>>Morton & Roy – second at route marker<<
Roy: Do we have to read the clue?
GIMB: Yeah, otherwise you will incur a penalty.
Larry: That would stink, wouldn’t it?
Larry then gets hit by a Mr. Saturn.
Larry: C’mon! How much time do I have left?
GIMB: About three seconds.
Larry: You have got to be kidding me.
Hamma, Boo, Peach, and Susan start to dodge Mr. Saturns.
Ludwig: Way to go, Larry! We got here first and now we’re going to get eighth or something.
Roy opens his clue.
Roy: Make your way to the pitstop behind the drugstore. Let’s go, Morton.
The two run around the drugstore and jump onto the mat.
Wacky: Morton and Roy, you are team number two.
>>MORTON & ROY – SECOND PLACE<<
Roy: All right!
Morton: Yeah, we won, we’re the best, we kick butt, we…
Wacky pulls out a shotgun
Wacky: Speak anymore and I’ll blow your head off.
Morton: Wait, don’t do that, that would stink, that would be awful, that…
BANG!
Morton starts crying.
Wacky: What? It just unrolls a banner that says bang.
Morton stops crying.
Morton: Oh!
>>Lemmy & Iggy – third at route marker<<
Lemmy: Make your way to the pitstop.
Lemmy and Iggy run around and jump on the mat.
Wacky: Lemmy and Iggy, you are team number three.
>>LEMMY & IGGY – THIRD PLACE<<
Iggy: It’s okay.
Lemmy: We should have been second. Stupid GIMB and his gimbyness.
Wacky: Gimbyness, is that a word?
Lemmy: It is now.
>>Toad & Toadette – Freezie challenge<<
Toad: We’re finally done with the %$#@ detour. Give us the %$## clue.
Axem Black: Okay, foul mouth.
>>Toad & Toadette – tenth at route marker<<
Toad: We’ve got to go to %$#@ Onett.
Toadette: TAXI!
Screech!
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Toad: To %$#@ Onett.
Taxi Driver: Is there any way to shut him up?
Toadette: Believe me, I tried.
Taxi Driver: I’m
going extra fast so I can spend less time with him.
>>Wario &
Waluigi – tenth at detour<<
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – eleventh at detour<<
Wario: We need to form an alliance or else we’ll both get eliminated.
Bowser: I agree.
Waluigi: I’m scared of agreement!
Bowser: You’re scared of everything!
Waluigi: I’m scared of being scared of everything! WAH!
Waluigi then runs down the mountain, taking out all of the Freezies that the Polar Bears are throwing.
Wario: Well, that makes everything easier.
Wario, Bowser, and Bowser Jr. snowboard down the mountain easily.
Axem Black: Here’s your clue.
>>Wario &
Waluigi – eleventh at route marker<<
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser: You want to split a taxi?
Wario: Sure.
Bowser Jr: TAXI!
Screech!
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Wario: To Onett, and make it snappy.
Taxi Driver: All
right.
>>Hamma, Boo, Peach, & Susan – Roadblock<<
Peach gets hit with a Mr. Saturn.
Peach: Crud.
Peach then sits out. Hamma, Boo, and Susan finish the task.
GIMB: Here’s your clue. Larry, you’re back in.
Larry: I only have to do three seconds. One… Two… Three! Can I have my clue now?
GIMB: Sure.
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – fourth at route marker<<
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – fifth at route marker<<
>>Wendy &
Susan – sixth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – seventh at route marker<<
Hamma: We have to buy a piece of cheese.
All four groups run in and grab random pieces of cheese. They then purchase them and run out, trying to get GIMB to eat their cheese. He starts eating pieces of cheese at random and giving clues to groups.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – fourth at route marker<<
>>Wendy &
Susan – fifth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – sixth at route marker<<
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – seventh at route marker<<
Dry Bones: Get to the pitstop behind the drugstore. Let’s go!
The teams jump onto the mat in the order they got their clues.
Wacky: Dry Bones and Boo, you are team number four.
>>DRY BONES & BOO – FOURTH PLACE<<
Wacky: Wendy and Susan, you are the fifth team to arrive, but you did not collect all of your clues.
Susan: What?
Wacky: Yeah, you climbed down the mountain instead of up, and because of it, you skipped the detour. If you read your clue in the beginning, you would have known that.
Wendy: Oh man! Now we have to go back and get that clue.
Wendy and Susan leave.
Wacky: Ludwig and Larry, you are team number five.
>>LUDWIG & LARRY – FIFTH PLACE<<
Wacky: Hamma, Bamma, and Flare, you are team number six.
>>HAMMA, BAMMA, & FLARE – SIXTH PLACE<<
Wacky: You guys all got good places.
Ludwig: We probably could have done better.
All five other
racers: Yeah.
>>DK & Diddy – ninth at roadblock<<
Diddy: You do the roadblock.
DK: You’re better at dodging.
Diddy: Yeah, but I have to, uh, tie my shoe, in this bush, until you are done.
DK: Fine.
DK starts to dodge the Mr. Saturns. GIMB chucks a football, but DK catches it and chucks it at Lucas. It hits him in the face and he gets knocked out. DK then looks at Ness.
DK: You chuck a Mr. Saturn at me, you’ll end up like Lucas.
Ness: Eeeeeeep!
GIMB: DK, the rules say you can’t throw a ball.
DK: Well, if you look at the 62nd word, “the”.
GIMB: Hmm, you’re right.
Yoshi: What does that have to do with anything?
Diddy (from inside the bush): Nothing, deal with it!
DK then easily finishes his task.
GIMB: DK, here’s your clue. Peach, you’re back in.
Peach: Finally!
But at this time, Toad & Toadette, Wario & Waluigi, and Bowser & Bowser Jr. all arrive.
Toadette: Wait a minute, how’d you get here the same time as us?
GIMB: Laziness by the authors?
Wario: Fair enough.
Waluigi: I’m scared of being fair!
Wario: That’s why we cheat.
Waluigi: Oh, that makes sense, BUT I’M SCARED OF MAKING SENSE! WAHHHHHH!!!
>>Toad & Toadette
– tenth at roadblock<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – eleventh at roadblock<<
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – last at roadblock<<
>>DK & Diddy – eighth at route marker<<
DK: Buy a cheese!
Diddy: What type?
DK: Hold on, what type?
GIMB: I haven’t had parmesan yet.
Diddy: Parmesan it is!
Diddy gets the cheese and hands it to GIMB.
GIMB: Thanks!
Diddy: Can we have our clue now?
GIMB: Fine!
>>DK & Diddy – eighth at route marker<<
Diddy: Head for the pitstop!
DK: Where?
Diddy: 10 ½ yards behind the drugstore.
They run around and jump on the mat.
Wacky: DK & Diddy, you are team number seven!
>>DK & DIDDY – SEVENTH PLACE<<
Diddy: Cool.
DK: Okay.
>>Peach, Toad, Wario, & Bowser – Roadblock<<
Peach finishes.
>>Peach & Yoshi – ninth at route marker<<
Yoshi: Let’s just get the cheese.
Wario: I’ll take out Ness with my gas.
BAM!
Toad: That’s some #&*% bad gas!
With his last effort, Ness throws his last Mr. Saturn.
Bowser: Ow, my back! Does this mean I have to wait 5 minutes?
GIMB: Sadly.
Bowser: %$#@ #$@% #$$%%%^$#$#%%$#%$$%#%$^%$%!
Toad: Holy…!
Peach & Yoshi come out.
Peach: Eat the cheese, GIMB.
GIMB: Sure. *gulp* Tasty. Don’t read the clue, just open it and run to the back.
>>Peach & Yoshi – ninth at route marker<<
They do this and jump on the mat.
Wacky: Peach & Yoshi, you’re team number eight!
>>PEACH & YOSHI – EIGHTH PLACE<<
Peach: Yay!
Yoshi: Woohoo!
>>Wario &
Waluigi – tenth at route marker<<
>>Toad &
Toadette – eleventh at route marker<<
The two teams run into the store and buy the cheese. They hand it to GIMB and he eats their cheese.
>>Toad & Toadette
– tenth at route marker<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – eleventh at route marker<<
They jump on the mat.
Wacky: Toad & Toadette, you are team number nine! Wario & Waluigi, you are team number ten!
>>TOAD & TOADETTE
– NINTH PLACE<<
>>WARIO &
WALUIGI –TENTH PLACE<<
Bowser Jr: Papa, look! Here come Wendy & Susan.
Bowser: What are we going to do?
Wario: Here, use this!
Wario hands them a bomb. Bowser Jr. chucks it and the taxi explodes.
Wendy & Susan: AUGHHHHHHHH!
GIMB: You’re finished, guys. Here’s your clue.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser: Buy that cheese!
Bowser Jr. runs in like lightning and grabs the cheese. He then hands it to GIMB. GIMB eats it and hands them their clue.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser: Hurry!
They jump on the mat.
Wacky: Bowser & Bowser Jr, you’re team number eleven!
>>BOWSER & BOWSER JR. – ELEVENTH PLACE<<
Bowser: Oh thank DAD!
Wendy: Oh man, we’re last.
Wacky: Wendy & Susan, you’re the last team to arrive. You have been eliminated.
>>WENDY & SUSAN – ELIMINATED<<
Wacky: Sorry guys, but you get to go to where the final pitstop is.
Susan: Really, where is it?
Wacky: It’s an amazing place. It’s…