Episode 10: A Tribute to Torte II
*This chapter is dedicated to Chef Torte, in hopes that he may return*
Last time on Dimentio’s Revenge, Mario, Ninja, and O’Chunks left Peach’s Castle and went to go talk to Merlon about a strange card they had. Merlon told them it was a Pure Stard, and it could ultimately save the world or bring everything to ruin. As Merlon was about to tell them where the next Star Spirit Card was, Fuzzies attacked Toad Town. One stole Merlon’s Crystal Ball, and Mario and Co. chased after it. After a hard battle, they overpowered it, and as he was the leader, the rest of the Fuzzies fled. Mario and Co. then forced him to join their party, and went back to Merlon, who told them that the next Star Spirit Card was on Isle Soshi. Mario and Co. got a boat and set sail.
Upon reaching Soshi, everyone except Blagon and Cackletta were attacked by members of the Team of Terror. The people who were supposed to attack Blagon and Cackletta were in some bushes playing Dungeons and Dragons. Anyway, there was a colossal battle, and Soshi got wounded fighting Roy, Lucy got wounded fighting Mario and Co, and the Grand Glum Reaper destroyed the control panel of the Blade. Meanwhile the Koopa Bros, under the command of Dimentio, went to attack Bowser's Castle.
And that's where we left off. Let's
Blagon walks up to the entrance of the volcano and touches different parts of the door, feeling for weak areas. He works his way from the top to the bottom and then back up again, this time going along the sides. About a quarter of the way up, he stops and grins. Blagon takes out his portable Bill Blaster, then looks around before firing a few rounds at the door frame. The first couple times, the door stands firm, but on the last shot, a small cracking sound is heard. Blagon gently pushes on the door, which goes back a few inches. A satisfied smirk appears on his face, and he kicks the door down.
The door hitting the ground makes a
loud crash, and Blagon hears voices behind him on the path. He quickly
slips on his robe, which is enchanted to have a camouflage effect, and
Blagon slips in, invisible to all.
Nearby in the bushes around that time…
Changling says gleefully, “YES! I’m finally level twenty! Whomp, can I have shiny now?”
Whomp tries to clap, but his short rock arms don’t go far enough across his body for that. Finally giving up the attempt, Whomp takes out the card. “Changling, you work hard to earn this. You be proud of victory.”
Whomp begins to hand the card to Changling, but a loud crash rends the air. Embert leaps high in the air, accidentally setting a tree on fire. While Changling, the only flammable one, tries to get out of the fire, Whomp leaps to his feet and accidentally knocks Changling back down.
Whomp calls out to his clumsy counterparts, “Quick, we need hurry! Crash come from volcano!”
Whomp waddles off as quickly as stubby
legs will carry him, Changling runs around hysterically trying to put out
the fire, and Embert is panicking, setting more things on fire, when he
notices the extremely shiny card lying untouched on the ground. A greedy
gleam appears in his eyes, and he takes the card and runs off…
Grand Glum Reaper turns around as he leaves the doomship. "… So long… You seemed… like worthy opponents… but your death… was nigh…"
As the Grand Glum Reaper floats off to shore, five escape pods pop out of the Blade. One, a red one, slams into the Grand Glum Reaper, and from inside, Axem Red shouts, "Are you sure it wasn't your death you were sensing?"
As soon as the escape pods crash onto the beach, the Axems all jump out, landing in catlike poses. Red turns to them and says, "Now that that pesky bug is gone, let's go to the volcano. That must be where the Star Spirit Card is. That's how things always work in stories like this."
Yellow glances over at Red. "Stories?"
Red shakes his head. "Don't worry about it right now, let's just go to the volcano."
They all start on their merry way, except for Black, who looks at the mangled remains of the Blade jutting out of the ocean water. He gulps and mutters to himself, "Oh, Smithy's gonna kill us…" before turning and walking off after his fellow Axems.
As he walks off, a bony hand holding
a long, sleek scythe pops out of the ground under Red's escape pod. The
scythe magically lifts in the air and slices the escape pod into pieces.
A giant cloud of dust rises into the air, and through it comes the Grand
Glum Reaper, wearing a black cloak that makes him look like Darth Vader.
He looks at the retreating Axems, and says to himself, "Not if I… kill
you… first…" while thinking Cool! I looked like Darth Vader!
Mario, Ninja, O.Chunks. and Fuzz E. are walking toward the volcano when Ninja spies Genius Guy running toward them, giggling hysterically. As he tries to pass them, O'Chunks grabs him and holds him. "Was' so funny?"
Genius Guy giggles a bit while petting Lucy. "Be alert! The world needs more lerts!"
Fuzz E. laughs. "That's the lamest joke I've ever heard!"
Genius Guy gasps. "How dare thee?! Lucy! Attack this freakish Fuzzy!"
Lucy leaps out of Genius Guy's arms and begins attacking Fuzz E, trying to mutilate him. "Get it off of me!" Fuzz E. shouts.
Mario takes his hammer out, and whack! Lucy is KOed, as is Fuzz E. Genius Guy cries out in horror at the sight of his cat hurt like that, and grabs Lucy and runs off.
O'Chunks and Ninja turn to Mario, and say, "Ok, why is he on our team again?"
Mario looks confused for a second, then says, "Oh, you mean Fuzz E?"
They both nod vigorously, and Ninja says, "He's obviously going to turn traitor on us."
Mario sighs. "When-a we were in Toad Town, after he was knocked out, Merlon telepathically told me to-a recruit Fuzz E. He said that he would be no help at all except for one point, when he will provide us with help we couldn't get otherwise."
Ninja frowns. "Ok, that kinda makes sense, but where did you get that collar from?"
Mario grins. "Well, when-a me and Luigi were in-a Brooklyn, we had-a a dog who would always-a try to run off. So we-a bought this collar for him, and ever since we-a came here, I never thought to-a get rid of it."
Ninja frowns, and seems likely to say something else, but O'Chunks shouts, "Look a' tha'!"
Mario and Co. gasp. A giant fire is
headed in their direction…
Roy gulps while looking at the approaching Soshi. There is nothing he can do now. The ship can’t withstand an attack like this. He quickly runs into the hall and shouts to his officer, "Ready my escape pod!"
The officer gulps and hurries off, and Roy runs back into the control room, where he watches the approaching Soshi. There is no way that pod will be ready in time; Soshi is 200 feet away. The officer hurries into the room. "Sir, your escape pod is ready to launch."
Roy hurries out of the room, casting a hasty glance at the fast approaching Soshi. 150 feet. Roy races down the hall. He looks out a window on the way. 75 feet. He turns down the corridor the escape pod is in. 45 feet. He races down the corridor. 20 feet. He jumps in. 5 feet. He punches in the coordinates to get out, right as the first explosion rocks the ship, shooting him off across the ocean. In the wrong way, of course.
Soshi grins, satisfied at his handiwork,
and turns around, flying back to Volcano Soshi, where the Chef awaits.
Koopark urges on the many soldiers, which rush Bowser's Castle. After getting about halfway, a few stop, confused. Despite the headlong rush at the castle, no visible resistance is made. No soldiers come out to combat the invaders, no more giant fireballs are blasted from the glass replica of Bowser above the castle, nothing happens. Wary of a trap, the troops stop mere feet from the door. No one wants to be the first to get to the door. Koopightning sighs and looks at Koopark, rolling his eyes. "I'll handle this."
Koopightning leaps athletically to his feet, and walks up front. He stands in front of the troops between them and the door and turns to them. "Do you see any resistance coming from this castle?"
The creatures all shake their head as one, and Koopightning says, "Well, then, what are you afraid of?"
A nerdy young Goomba in the third row raises his hand. Koopightning, with a deep voice to sound like someone's boss, says, "Yes, you."
The Goomba pushes his glasses farther up his face and speaks in a tone that sounds like he has a stuffy nose, "Well sir, considering we haven't been attacked from this castle, they likely have a plan, and I'm careful, because last time I rushed into something, people threw rocks at me."
Koopightning's face turns red with anger. "Do you think we're here to think?! We're Americans! We don't think, we do! Wait a minute… something's not right with that sentence."
The Goomba raises his hand again, and Koopightning gets the deep boss voice. "Yes, you."
The Goomba speaks again. "Well, this time can we think? Because the rocks HURT!"
Koopightning's face turns red again, then he calms down and smiles kindly at the Goomba. "Of course we can think about it," he says in a bittersweet voice. "Hmm… I think we should attack the castle. And in case of traps, " the Goomba looks hopeful, having finally got his point across, "yu can walk in front of us! OPEN THE DOOR!"
Meanwhile, inside the castle, the whole place is roaring with laughter. Kamek snickers to Bowser, "And we were *haha* afraid of *snicker* these guys? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! What a band of misfits!"
Bowser laughs so hard that he can hardly breathe. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's get the traps and ambushes ready! This will be a whole lot of fun!"
Blagon looks around as he enters the volcano: no one around. He stealthily walks along the passageway until he gets to an elevator next to some stairs. Logic tells him that the villain will probably be near the bottom or the top. Hmm… I'll check the bottom first since it's nearer. He walks up to the elevator, and then abandons all secrecy, kicking the door down. The cable is leading downwards, so he leaps down to the bottom. At the bottom he cuts the cable so that the elevator is not usable. Then he blasts a hole through the top with his portable Bill Blaster, jumps in, and blasts his way through the double doors.
Blagon grins, his mission going perfectly. He confidently walks through the double doors, and walks smack into the wall. He’d blasted out the wrong side. Nursing his nose and his pride, Blagon turns and blasts down the other double doors. This time he puts his hand in front of him to see if this is the right side or not. Bingo! Right side. He walks through and looks around. All over the place he spies tripwires, hidden layers, false platforms; you name it, this place has it. Blagon grins to himself, this would be easy enough to avoid. He simply transforms into a dragon and flies through everything. On the other side he sees a golden chest next to a simple cardboard box. Common sense tells him that the golden chest is a trap, and he looks in the box. Just before he opens the box all the way, he senses danger.
"HYPEIR PLAZMA BEAM!"
Changling finally does the obvious thing and stops, drops, and rolls. However, by that time no one is around. He calls out shakily, "Whomp? Embert?" No response. He sighs. At least he can grab his shiny and go back to the volcano. He looks at the ground where Whomp dropped it, but it isn't there! Changling gasps and looks for it. Then he hears many loud crashes from the volcano, and a voice shouts, "HYPEIR PLAZMA BEAM!"
The chef is in trouble! Changling quickly
races through the entrance of the volcano.
Embert looks admiringly at the card
in his hand. It really is the most shiny thing ever. He has to hide it
somewhere where no one will get it. Hmm… Where to hide it…? He glances
out towards the water and sees two ships, one with cannons, lasers, and
all sorts of stuff, the other looking like a large blade. However, they're
both piles of scrap metal. Embert grins: the perfect place to hide his
shiny. He floats above the two piles of scrap metal, evaluating which would
be the better hiding spot. He chooses the blade-like one, and throws the
card into it, where it sinks to the bottom, submerged in water. Then it
hits him. Flame is destroyed in water. "D'oh!"
The Grand Glum Reaper hides behind a tree, watching his prey. Like a creepy stalker be it from love or a wish to kill, he follows them from a distance. He notices up ahead a wide tree, perfect for ambushing. Gleeful (the first time something dead has been gleeful in a long time), he stealthily moves ahead of them, careful not to make a sound to betray his position. He makes it to the tree and goes up it as quick as possible, fervently praying that the Axems hadn't seen him. After peeking over the edge, he discovers that the Axems are oblivious to his movements. Now he just has to wait for them to get below his tree. Closer, closer, PERFECT! The Grand Glum Reaper swoops down, firing a particularly large energy beam from his scythe.
Yellow hears the sound of the approaching
beam, and spins around quickly, slashing at the beam with his axe. The
beam is reflected back at the Grand Glum Reaper, who catches it on the
end of his scythe and does an aerial flip, ending with his scythe coming
down on Pink's head. Pink lifts her axe up in defense, but the beam shocks
her axe, sending powerful zaps of electricity up and down her body. Pink
drops to the ground, and Black jumps in, throwing his axe like you would
a boomerang. The Grand Glum Reaper ducks under it and comes back up to
stick out a long, skeletal tongue at Black, who just grins and points.
The Grand Glum Reaper turns, only to be smacked right in the face with
the axe, and he falls down, hands clenched tight on his face.
Mario grabs Fuzz E, and he and his counterparts run as fast as their legs can carry them out of the forest area of the island. The fire ravages the trees, licking up dry wood and brush and leaf, consuming all before it. Mario turns to Ninja and O'Chunks. "Well, what-a should we do now?"
Ninja frowns. "I guess that we just wait for the fire to die down. Maybe we could go swimming for a bit, I'm sure the water's nice."
O'Chunks grins. "Le's look fer buried treasure!"
Mario hesitates, then replies, "As much as it seems like a waste of time, there isn't anything else to do, so okay."
O'Chunks rushes off to go swimming, Ninja slowly walks off, and Mario carries the unconscious Fuzz E. into the water, reviving him.
After a minute or two of swimming, Ninja taps Mario on the shoulder. "Let's explore those piles of scrap metal over there. There might be something interesting!"
Mario shrugs. "Sure, that fire hasn't died down yet, so wherever, I guess. Hey, O'Chunks! We're-a going to those sunken ships!"
O'Chunks gives them the thumbs up, and
continues digging for "treasure" with Fuzz E.
Roy looks out the window and breathes
a sigh of relief. He has survived. He watches Soshi disappear into the
background, and marvels at the island. He is safe, and won’t have to worry
about being attacked and blown up again. Then it hits him: his plan! He
must not let this minor setback keep him from world domination! Roy runs
over to the computer and types in some new coordinates, and the escape
pod turns around, boomeranging back to Isle Soshi.
Bowser looks out the window at the army attacking. It seems that his old minion Koopightning has finally gotten somewhere, and a trembling young Goomba has shoved out to open the door. The army was trying to mass in behind the Goomba, still keeping a bit of distance in case of any traps. Bowser smirks. They are falling right into his trap.
He waves a claw at Kamek, who comes scurrying up. “Yes, Sire?”
“Get the breaker beam into position.”
Kamek grins cruelly. “With pleasure, Sire.”
Koopightning shoves the unfortunate nerd Goomba forward, and he trips and rolls into the door. The Goomba gets onto his feet and waddles toward the door. He jumps and bites the handle, twisting himself around 360 degrees to turn the knob, then jumps off and begins to nudge the door open. Koopightning shouts, “Kick it open, you wimp!”
The Goomba, following the directions of his master, kicks the door open, revealing a large beam blaster. A Koopa inside shouts loudly, “AHM-A FIRIN’ MAH LAZAR!”
The nerdy, armless fungus leaps to the side, screaming as a giant beam of superheated energy blasts out the doorway, obliterating countless members of the army. Koopightning, face red, shouts, “Get in that castle!”
A band of Hammer Bros. with red bandanas charges at the door and begins to hammer on the breaker beam blaster. The defenders in the castle retaliate by way of archers farther back in the hallway, which pick off the Hammer Bros. As more troops rush toward the castle, the doors slam shut, barring the way. Goombas, Koopas, Paratroopas, Shy Guys, and many other minions leap up to the parapets of Bowser’s castle and begin attacking the invading army with long range weapons. The spikes of the shell on Bowser’s castle go down and are replaced with missiles, and the stone figure of Bowser fixated high above the castle begins to charge up another fireball.
A group of red bandana Paratroopas take to the skies and rush the wall. Some of the defenders fire at them from portable Bullet Bill Blasters, taking out a considerable amount of them, but some manage to land on the wall, and they take out various types of weapons: sabers, cutlasses, rapiers, all kinds of weapons. The defenders counter with weapons of their own, and the Paratroopas only deal a few casualties to the defenders before taking to the air again. Once well above the wall, the Paratroopas take out Bob-ombs and drop them on the wall, resulting in giant explosions and many game overs.
Then a missile flies out of the back of the castle’s shell, homing in on the group of Paratroopas. The attackers swerve to the right, but the missile follows. They all split up, and the missile’s outer covering falls off, revealing many small missiles inside. Each one picks a different target to chase after. The Paratroopas, now panicking, each retreat to the safety of the army below. Unfortunately for them, the missiles still follow them.
Blagon dives to the side, rolling into a crouching position, then spins around swiftly. The crazy chef stands behind him, laughing madly and wielding the PAN OF PERIL! Blagon acts quickly, transforming into his miniature dragon form and flying speedily at Chef Torte. Chef Torte ducks, and Blagon lands right behind him. As quick as a flash Blagon reaches out with his claw and drags the chef to him. He whispers in the mad chef’s ear, “Where is the Card?”
Chef Torte blinks, confused. “Card? Vhat are you babbling about?”
Blagon growls. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Chef Torte snorts. “Obviously, I don’t know vhat you are talking about. Now leit me go so I can keill you!” Chef Torte struggles against Blagon’s firm grip, but Blagon holds tight. Then, a sound is heard from above.
“Whomp will save Chef! Whom- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Hey! Where elevator go?”
Blagon, quick as a flash, throws Chef Torte into the open chest, and shuts the lid. Then, he flies over to the side of the door, transforms into his normal form, and puts on his cloak. A giant block thing comes in and looks around, “Where chef?”
Blagon jumps Whomp, who falls to the ground from the extra weight. Blagon picks him up and pins him to the wall. “Where is the Card?”
“Whomp no know. Whomp about to give to Changling, but heard Chef in trouble.”
Blagon groans contemptuously, when from above he hears, “Hey! There you are! You stole my shiny, didn’t you?”
“What are you talking about? Why would I steal that thing?”
“You stole it and I know it! I’m going to tell the chef about this!”
“No I didn’t!”
“Well you’re coming in this elevat-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Blagon runs over and pins the two to the wall. One is a Magikoopa, the other a Podoboo. “Where’s the Card?”
The Magikoopa says, “I don’t know! This dirty thief stole it! I’m sure!”
Blagon looks at the Podoboo. “Where is it?”
Embert gulps. “Shan’t say!”
Blagon tightens his grip. “Where is it?”
Embert breaks down. “I-I p-put i-it in the sh-sh-shipwreck!”
Blagon lets go and transforms into a dragon to fly out, when from behind he hears, “Not zo fazt!” Chef Torte has escaped, and Whomp is with him.
Blagon sighs. “I guess it’s time you
met me at my most powerful.” Blagon takes out his wand and points it at
himself, muttering many strange words. He begins swirling, faster and faster,
until he’s a blur. The blur then gets bigger and bigger, until it stops,
and Blagon’s power is revealed.
Black stands over the Grand Glum Reaper's body, smirking. Like an idiot, he turns his back on his foe and says, "Come on! Let's go!"
Green gulps, and says, "Uh, Black?"
Black snarls. "What?"
Black slumps down. "Yes, I would like a large pepperoni……"
The Grand Glum Reaper wipes his scythe, now covered in dirt and pieces of metal, off on Black's body. Two down, three to go.
Red gasps. "You KOed my second in command!" Red leaps at Grand Glum Reaper, swinging his axe so fast that it becomes a blur. The Grand Glum Reaper quickly swings his scythe at the whirl of the axe, trying to stop it, but the whirl breaks the scythe in half. The screen starts to show everything in slow motion. Grand Glum Reaper looks down at his broken blade, and sniffs. His eyes slowly look up at the Axems. They're red. Grand Glum Reaper raises himself in the air, and lifts his arms up dramatically. Meteors begin to come down. Red, Green, and Yellow try to dodge them, but Yellow, as chubby as he is, can't get away in time.
Now the Grand glum Reaper switches tactics. He phases through the ground and looks up. He sees Green and pops up, grabbing him and dragging him under. Red waits for Green to come up, and he does. His KOed body, that is. The Grand Glum Reaper comes up, cackling madly.
Red glares at the large specter. "You've taken care of my three brothers and sister. I WON'T STAND FOR THIS! YOU WILL DIE TODAY!
Red raises his axe above him and a red light appears around him, then, a blue one. He looks back at the Grand Glum Reaper, smirking. Unfortunately, noticing the size of the giant death ball of energy in his enemy's hands, his smile droops considerably.
BURN! PAIN! OUCH! BOOM!
Grand Glum Reaper wipes his hands off
on Red's KOed body, and floats off toward the volcano.
Fuzz E. is happily swimming around when he feels a strange tugging sensation. Grr… that invisible wall. Why is he treated with such a dishonor as a common animal? He wouldn't betray them! Ok, yeah he would. But that’s not the point. This treatment was disgraceful. He turns around to see where he's going. Hmm… two shipwrecks. He spies many pointed pieces of metal and shrapnel laying around. He grin: perfect for cutting through ropes, collars, and plumbers' heads.
Fuzz E. grins contentedly, and just lets the wall push him over. After a bit, the wall stops pushing him, and he sees Mario and Ninja pointing down into the water, and then diving. Soon enough he is pulled along, and is in reach of a large, sharp piece of metal. As he reaches out to grab it with his psychic powers (He doesn't have arms, so how else could he grab it?) he gets pulled underwater by Mario. Gasping and spluttering, he tries to make it back above water but he keeps getting pulled down farther. Finally he gets somewhere. They are coming up. Phew, he almost ran out of air. Fuzz E. Reaches for the piece of metal, when Mario says, "What are you doing?"
Fuzz E. drops the piece of metal, and grins sheepishly and says, "Oh, nothing."
Mario eyes him curiously, then says, "Whatever. We-a got the Kalmar-a Card, and now we can-a leave this island."
Mario calls over O'Chunks, and they all swim back to shore. Then they walk over to their fishing boat. Mario turns to them. "Well, let's-a go back to Toad Town!"
They all pile into the boat, and set
From the shore, Blagon watches. "Rats! Just missed 'em. Fine, let this be an ocean battle!" Transforming into the great dragon, Blagon takes off after the retreating fishing boat.
How will Blagon and Mario's battle turn out? What happened to Roy and Cackletta? Don't worry, I didn't forget about them.
We see in the background an escape pod crashing into a blimp that is landing on the island.
Will Smithy get the Blade and the Axems back? What will happen with the two armies at Bowser's Castle? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? Find out next time on Dimentio's Revenge, Thursday, 8:00 on the Koopa Channel!