Episode 7: Let's Braaaaaaaaaaaawl!
Last time on Dimentio's Revenge, Mario and Co had a colossal battle with Koopark and his brothers, who are actually the Koopa Bros, over the Star Spirit Mamar. Mario and Co. won, and grabbed the Star Spirit Card. And that was it. Short episode, huh?
Apparently the author thought that too, so he returned to a Whompi (hybrid between a Yoshi and a Whomp) who was nearly killed by Bowser Jr. He was rushed off to a hospital in the Mushroom Kingdom, where a kindly old Toad and his son named him and gave him two gifts: a metallic leg, and the Emerald Star! After being cured, the Whompi Dylan went off to find the man who gave him his deformation, in order to give him sweet justice. On his way to find the man he was jumped by Kamek, who tied him up to a tree and looked through his belongings, finding the Emerald Star. When Kamek cut Dylan's bonds loose to take him to Bowser, Cloaker and Domino came out of nowhere and asked for the Emerald Star. Then Blagon, Dimentio's number 2, came out from behind a tree, asking for the Emerald Star as well. Dylan decided he had no choice but to run for it, and grabbed the Emerald Star and tried to run off. Blagon grabbed him and took him to Dimentio's secret lair, where Dimentio told him foul lies that Mario had done the foul deed to Dylan.
We now rejoin the story back in Dimentio's
lair, where we will undoubtedly learn more about Dimentio's foul plans…
Dimentio looks at his young, new servant, who is kneeling in front of him. "Ah ha ha! Now, if you want to get back at this evil man who did that to you, I will need a few things before we become strong enough to outwardly oppose him. There is a tournament soon to take place in Dark Land. I will need you to go to Dark Land and win the tournament; either you, or one of my followers who I will also send. If you win, praises will be showered on you like a harsh downpour of rain. If you lose, well, I won't be too harsh, but I won't be happy."
Dylan looks up into Dimentio's eyes, admiration and respect shining in his eyes as he thought of the man who had taken him in as one of his own minions and was treating him kindly, helping him find the evil man, Mario. Dylan thinks for a moment and then replied to his new master, "You said earlier that this Mario man was looking for the same thing you are looking for. Is there any chance that he might enter in this tournament too?"
Dimentio thinks for a moment and then replies, "Almost certainly; however, he may have gone abroad, as he hasn't been seen in a month."
Dylan cocks one eye and asks, "A month? No sign of him?"
"Well, there's the possibility that he is in a certain place where time passes differently than in this world. That is where he was seen last. If so, he should emerge on a certain island soon," Dimentio says, and then gets on the topic of the tournament again. "Anyway, I'd like you to leave immediately for Dark Land. You will be accompanied by four special guards, who will also be competing in the tournament. Koopa Bros! Come in!"
Dylan's eyes widen in shock at the four Koopas: Koopark, with his portable Mini Bullet Bill Blaster and tendrils of darkness lagging behind him; Koopire, with flames encompassing his entire being; Koopightning, with electric sparks running up and down his figure; and Kooplant, with the two Piranha Plants wrapped around his arm. Dimentio greets them with a smile, which would be disturbing coming from most evil bosses, but Dimentio is, of course, different.
"Ah ha ha! Anyway, this is the young man you will be escorting to Dark Land," Dimentio tells the Koopa Bros.
Kooplant, who has always been the slowest of the four, has a confused look on his face as he dumbly says, "Escort? We weren't told about- OW!" He stops from a sharp jab in the stomach caused by Koopire, who quickly covers up the blunder with, "Oh, so this is who we're escorting!"
Dimentio's smile flickers, but he orders the Koopa Bros. and Dylan, "Quickly get along to Dark Land! You don't want to miss your tournament!"
The Koopa Bros. bow, and Koopightning takes hold of Dylan before they teleport off to the next place, where Cackletta, Bowyer, and Iggy are already waiting.
Dimentio waits for them to leave, then calls out for Blagon. Blagon enters, and Dimentio asks him, "Is the princess ready to lead the kingdom in a completely different direction?"
Blagon grins. "Yep! We've inserted the chip into her brain, and we'll send her on that pink plane with a few brainwashed Toads right away! We even sent our spies into Dark Land to make sure that the plane is shot down, and then they'll have an escape vehicle ready for her on the ground."
Dimentio grins, thinking that all his plans are falling right into place. "Ah ha ha! Send the princess to collect her hero right away!"
Blagon bows and grins evilly. "Yes sir!"
Uh oh. That doesn't sound too good…
Meanwhile in a much more cheerful place, Mario and Co. fly out of the pipe into a fully restored Hotel Delfino. Before Mario has time to wonder about what on Plit happened to restore the place, he feels a tingling noise. He looks down and sees a Pure Heart, a Crystal Star, and the Mamar Card fly out from his pocket and begin to circle around each other. Mario, Ninja, and O'Chunks cry out in wonder, and there is a blinding flash of light. When the light dissipates, the heroes look and see a rectangular, card-like object, on one side of which is a star shape while on the other side is a heart.
Ninja gasps. "What is that?"
O'Chunks exclaims, "Ah've never seen anythin' like it!"
Mario's eyes go wide, but he quickly grabs the strange card and stuffs it in his coat. "No-a time to look at-a this strange thing! We'll ask Merlon or-a Prof. Frankly later! We can't waste any more time-a! See how the Hotel is rebuilt? Time-a passes differently in those places! We could've been in there for any amount of time! We-a have to move!"
Ninja and O'Chunks suddenly realize what Mario said, and they all run for the door of the hotel, but when they get out, O'Chunks realizes, "We don't have a boat!"
Mario facepalms, but he looks up into the sky and sees a pink plane descending. "That's-a Peach's plane! We're saved!"
Mario and Co. leap up and down for joy, as Peach's plane lands and Peach herself ushers them in.
When they're onboard the plane, Ninja asks Peach, "How did you get here? Weren't you taken by Dimentio?"
Peach grins at them cleverly, and replies, "I escaped! When I got out I didn't know where I was, but some Toads found me and brought me to the Mushroom Kingdom."
Mario sits there, questions running through his head, and he chooses one to ask, "How did-a you find us?"
Peach is immediately ready with the answer. "This was where you were last seen. You haven't been seen for a month, so I came here to look for you with a few Toads."
This goes on for some time, Mario and Co. asking questions that the mind-controlled Peach answers falsely. However, soon they are in the skies above Dark Land. A sleek laser beam smashes into their ship, and up from below, comes a doomship.
The doomship fires a few homing Bills at the Peach plane, and the Toad pilots make a sharp turn left, sending the passengers tumbling around the cabin. Mario jumps nimbly to his feet, along with Ninja. O'Chunks, however, is still rolling about. Mario thinks, confused. Why would Bowser be attacking Peach? Something weird is going on. He motions for Ninja to join him, and they get near a window, but by that time the homing Bills have spun around and gone back for the plane. The Toad pilot hits a button and the Peach plane shoots out a brick that the homing Bills go for, hitting it and blowing up.
The doomship then decides to shoot a long line of cannonballs every which way. The plane flies all over trying to get away from the cannonballs. It does barrel rolls, goes up, down, left, right, diagonally, Diagon Alley, you get the picture. By the time the expert pilot has dodged everything, Mario and Ninja are ready for their escapade. Mario tells the pilot to move in close to the doomship, which he reluctantly does. Mario and Ninja then smash the window and jump on the doomship, which then spins around rapidly, throwing Mario and Ninja off the doomship and back onto the plane. They slide toward the back and Mario falls off. Ninja grabs onto the tail with her feet, and barely grasps Mario's fingers. The doomship then shoots a laser, and at such a close range, it hits, tearing off one wing. Ninja pulls Mario on top of the plane, which goes spiraling downward. They quickly break through the roof and tell everyone inside to get out. Peach jumps out the window and floats down with her umbrella, and the captain grabs four parachutes and passes three of them to Mario and Co. They then jump, and as soon as their parachutes come out, the plane smashes into the ground, causing a colossal explosion.
Bits of shrapnel and hot metal fly past the escaped heroes, and when they land, the ground under them is scorched. Although you can't really tell in Dark Land, but whatever…
Mario and Co. land safely on the ground, but as soon as they and Peach land, the doomship drops down and out comes a kart from Mario Kart Wii (pick your favorite). The kart drives right by Peach and a Koopa inside grabs her and drags her into the kart while continuing to drive off.
"Hey-a! Come back!" Mario runs after the kart, followed by Ninja and O'Chunks.
Suddenly Kamek swoops down on them and creates a magic cage around them. He cackles sinisterly. "Hehehehe! Bowser will be so happy! I'll bring them to him right aw- Wait a minute. They could compete in the tournament!" Kamek then looks at the Mario Team, and says, "I'll give you one chance to get free. (Although it's really just so that I can see you get beat up.) There is a tournament happening at Roy's Sports Hall soon, and we are looking for contestants. You will do nicely. If you win the tournament, you win and get the prize, and if you lose, well, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes."
Ninja speaks, "Agreed! But you must keep to your word about letting us free!"
Kamek immediately says, "I, Kamek, hereby promise to let you three free if you win the tournament!" But he has his fingers crossed behind his back.
Mario grins. "Then let's get to it!"
They are immediately teleported into a locker that has three beds, a list pinned on the wall, and a television set showing an empty ring. The list has a summary of the battles to come. It reads,
Welcome to the Roy's Sports Hall tournament, which is extremely special because Roy isn't here! Which leaves me, the great and mighty Kamek, to announce the battles! Here's how it'll work. There are 10 teams. The team that does worst each day is eliminated. On days when there is an uneven number of teams, there will be one three-way fight. Here's the list for day one!
Iggy vs. Koopatrol Squad
Fawful vs. Team Goomba
Bowyer vs. Dylan
Mario, Ninja, and O'Chunks vs. Lakithunder
Koopa Bros. vs. Tubba Blubba
The winner will get a pretty Gold Star that Pokey found the other day but won't give to King Bowser because he's a GREEDY SELFISH PIG WHO GETS ALL THE FAN ATTENTION! *sobs* Fighting starts tomorrow, good luck except for Mario's team).
Mario and Co. talk a bit about what's happened lately, then fall asleep, exhausted.
Mario and Co. get up bright and early to watch the first match, which is Iggy and the Koopatrol Squad. It starts out okay for both sides, with Iggy dodging the Koopatrol's attacks and vice versa, but then Iggy gets ticked and shrinks the Koopatrols, then squishes them. But something strange happened during the match. A Koopatrol was about to slam Iggy in the back when a stage light fell on him. When the announcer examines after the match, a blue hair is found on the rafter above the stage light, and Larry had apparently gone to the bathroom at the time that happened…
The second match, Fawful vs. Team Goomba, goes really smoothly for Fawful. He simply steps on all the Goombas.
Then in the third match, things finally get pretty exciting. Bowyer goes up against a strange Yoshi-like thing Mario has never seen before, with a metal leg and a long scar. When the battle starts Bowyer shoots an Aero at the Yoshi (called Dylan according to the signup sheet) but the Aero simply bounces off him. Bowyer throws everything he has at Dylan: sleepy arrows, light arrows, the whole enchilada; but nothing penetrates the young Whompi, who lays down a fierce whooping on Bowyer.
Then comes Mario's match. He and his friends walk onstage, while from the other side, Lakithunder flies on. The announcer, Kamek, steps forward and lifts the microphone to his mouth. "Welcome to another battle at the Roy's Sports Hall ten-team tournament! Today we've got a match between the man who we never assumed would set foot in the ring, Mario, and the leader of the Lakitus, Lakithunder! Let's move over to Larry with his prediction!"
Larry grabs his mike and clears his throat, "Well, naturally as a Koopaling, I feel biased to say that Mario will lose, but when I look at this battle realistically, I don't think that Lakithunder stands much of a chance. My prediction goes to Mario for this one."
"Fascinating insight, Larry! Now, Pokey, will you please start the battle?" Kamek asks the famous cactus.
Pokey says that famous phrase that he is well known for, AKA, "Fight."
Mario charges a fireball to throw at Lakithunder, who flies into the air, avoiding it. He then throws a few Spinies that Mario and Co. dodge with ease. Lakithunder fires lightning at Ninja, who rolls out of the way. Then O'Chunks grabs Lakithunder out of his cloud when he swoops down, and Mario leaps in the air. BAM BAM BAM! Three strikes and you're out.
"Stop. Winner, Mario, Ninja, and O'Chunks," says the cactus.
"Wow! That was another quick match! Mario and his pals trounced Lakithunder with ease, advancing to day two! And Larry guessed right! But, of course, for the sake of tradition…" Kamek says, reaching for the switch.
"BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGGGGGH! END TRANSMISSION!"
Back in their locker room, Mario and Co. watch the last match of the day, the Koopa Bros. vs. Tubba Blubba. The match starts out very exciting. Tubba slams his club at Koopire, who shell shots himself out of the way and into Tubba's chest, burning it. Tubba jumps in the air in pain, causing shockwaves that paralyze the Koopa Bros, except for Kooightning, who jumps over them and crispy fries Tubba with two successive bolts of lightning. Tubba then goes on a rampage, slamming his club every which way. Kooplant jumps out of the way with the other Koopa Bros. and sends in his Piranha Plants, which Tubba simply smash with his club. But this was simply a distraction, as Koopark shoots the dark rope at Tubba and ties him up. The Koopa Bros. stack up and do their four shell attack, ending the match.
After that match, Kamek and Pokey put their heads together to figure out who should be eliminated as the worst fighter of the day. They both decide on Team Goomba, and tell the fighters to go to sleep.
When Mario and Co. wake up for Day 2, they see a new list tacked up on the wall. It reads,
Koopa Bros. vs. Koopatrol Squad
Dylan vs. Mario, Ninja, and O'Chunks
Tubba Blubba vs. Lakithunder
Bowyer vs. Fawful vs. Iggy
The first match is pretty straight forward. The Koopa Bros. start out the battle with their trademark moves - fire, electricity, darkness, and plants - then do their team move, and destroy the competition.
Then it's Mario and Co. vs. the strange Whompi, Dylan…
Kamek grabs the mike and begins announcing. "Welcome, fans, to Roy's Sports Hall! This match is going to be exciting, as both of our competitors flattened their competition back in DAY 1. Yes, it's a battle between the cruel plumber who messes everyone's plans up, Mario and his partners, and the strange hybrid between a Yoshi and a Whomp, Dylan! Let's go to Larry with his prediction!"
Larry thinks for a moment, and then gives his prediction. "Well, this is tough, because we don't know very much about Dylan, except that he's a TANK and a very good fighter. Mario, on the other hand, has foiled so many evil villains, and has never been seen to lose (at least not without beating his enemy later). I'm going to go with Mario on this one."
"Astounding prediction, but of course it'll probably be dead wrong-"
"YOU BET IT WILL!"
The Koopa Bros jump out of nowhere and beat Kamek and Pokey into unconsciousness, but they leave Larry there as they don't consider him much of a threat. Koopire goes to the announcing box while Koopark goes to the refereeing spot.
Koopire shouts his thoughts on the match. "LET'S START THIS DUMB MATCH SO THAT WE CAN SEE MARIO GET CREAMED, LIKE THE LOSER THAT HE IS! DYLAN'S GOING TO WIN ALL THE WAY! KOOPARK, START THE DUMB MATCH!"
Koopark runs into the ring. "Fight!" Then he runs back out.
Dylan looks at Mario, hatred burning in his eyes. "You're going to pay for what you did to me."
Mario looks around at his partners, who shrug. "Did to you? I've never seen you in-a my life!"
Dylan feels anger burring up in his chest, hot bubbling wrath waiting to spew out. "Of course you never saw me, you did this to me while I was in my egg!"
"What? I never would dream of-a hurting an innocent Yoshi egg!" Mario splutters back at Dylan.
"SO YOU JUST THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO DROP ONE IN ACIDIC WATER?!" Dylan shouts, his anger overflowing.
Mario's brain starts to work double time, but slowly, pieces begin to fit together. "Wait-a one minute! You're-"
"Your worst nightmare," Dylan says, leaping at Mario.
Mario jumps to one side, but Dylan swings his leg around trying to smack Mario in the face, but Mario ducks under the kick. Ninja spins around and throws a shuriken at Dylan, but it simply bounces off. O'Chunks spews out noxious gases, which have no effect on Dylan. Dylan then flutter jumps at O'Chunks, smacking his hard stone feet into O'Chunks' face many times. O'Chunks stumbles back, a few cuts on his face, and then tackles at Dylan, who jumps in the air and ground pounds on O'Chunk's back, knocking him out.
Mario looks at O'Chunks laying on the ground and yells at Dylan, "I didn't do this to you!"
Dylan gazes at Mario, fury inside him. "So you're a cruel, sadistic murderer and a liar!"
Dylan lunges at Mario again, and this time, Mario grabs him in midair and throws him onto the ground. Ninja then takes out her samurai sword, but Dylan gets up and grabs it, and breaks it in two. He then delivers a spinning kick to her head, and she falls into the realm of unconsciousness.
Mario opens his mouth once more, but Dylan doesn't care to hear what he has to say, and lunges. This time he makes sure to fall short, and when Mario grabs for him, he shoots out his tongue and wraps it around Mario's hands. At first Mario can't get his hands out, but his gloves soon slip them out. Mario then grabs Dylan by the stomach and prepares a large fireball. Before firing it, he says, "Sorry, kid."
Dylan's body falls on the floor next to Ninja and O'Chunks and Mario stands tall, the victor. However, the Koopa Bros. don't seem to care, as Koopire shouts, "What an elaborate display of cheating! Did you see that moron?!"
Then Koopire takes the Gold Star and runs toward Dylan with the other Bros. Mario trips him and grabs the Star, but the Koopa Bros. grab Dylan and teleport off.
Mario slaps Ninja and O'Chunks awake, and whispers in their ear, "Let's-a get out of Dark Land, quickly!"
Mario and Co. then run off.
An exciting episode full of brawls, cheating, and revenge has come to an end. But it leaves us with a few questions. Why did Bowser seemingly attack Peach? How did his henchmen get a random kart from Mario Kart Wii? Why do so many writers ask questions after chapters? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Find out this and more in the next chapter of Dimentio's Revenge, Thursdays, 8:00 on the Koopa Channel!