Episode 8: Terror in Toad Town
Last time on Dimentio’s Revenge, Dimentio sent out the young Whompi, Dylan, with the Koopa Bros. to a tournament. He also sent a mind-controlled Peach out to do something or other, we don’t know what, except for getting the Mario Bros. Peach picked them up from Isle Delfino in her Peach Plane, and she was flying them back to the Mushroom Kingdom. While they were flying above Dark Land, a doomship came up and began to attack the Peach Plane. It blew off a wing, which sent the plane hurtling downward, and everyone jumped out with a parachute (or, in Peach’s case, an umbrella).
When they reached the ground, the doomship landed, and out of the main doors came a kart from Mario Kart Wii. It zoomed by Mario and Co. and someone inside of it grabbed Peach and pulled her in. While Mario and Co. were in the middle of chasing after the kart, Kamek came and trapped them in a cage. He decided to give them one chance to get away before he handed them over to Bowser. He brought them to Roy’s Sports Hall, where a tournament was going on for the Gold Star. If Mario and Co. won the tournament they would get out scot free, but if they lost it wouldn’t be very good for them.
Mario and Co. started the tournament and flattened the competition on Day 1. On Day 2 they fought Dylan, and right at the beginning of the match the Koopa Bros. came, knocked out Kamek and Pokey, and began to announce and ref. Mario, after a heated conversation with Dylan, just barely won. However, the Koopa Bros. grabbed the Gold Star and tried to make a break for it. Mario snatched it back from Koopark right before Koopark grabbed Dylan and teleported off. Then Mario decided it was time to make a break for it, and Mario and Co. ran off. *whew, that was long*
The camera shows the Sports Hall, which looks big and neat any flashy. It looks truly magnificent, from the spotlight at the top shining into the sky to tell people to come and watch some matches, to the big double doors that people enter and exit through. These doors burst open at that very moment, revealing a plumber in red with a red cap bearing an “M”, a fungus-like woman dressed in black with a huge samurai sword stuck into her belt sash, and a strange, bald, Irish man with a red beard and a black and red kilt.
They run out at full speed, glancing behind them every now and then as if expecting some terrible monster to be chasing them. They keep running and running until the Sports Hall is far out of sight and all around them is a dreary, ugly black land, with no vegetation and few living things. The plumber (Mario) looks around and then stops, panting. He sits down on the ground, then stands right back up and starts gathering supplies for a camp.
Ninja and O’Chunks join in, and soon they have three make-shift tents set up, with wood for a fire (don’t ask how they got it if this is Dark Land) but no food at all. Mario, Ninja, and O’Chunks sit around the fire, each immersed in their own thoughts. Soon enough, Ninja turns to Mario and asks him, “So, what do we do now?”
Mario turns to her and sighs. “I-a am not sure. I suppose we could check the-a tracking device for more Crystal Stars or-a Star Spirit Cards in the area, but I don’t think that-a will work. There’s not usually two of these in the same place, but we can always check.”
Mario takes out the DS and hits the power button, turning the light on. He looks at it for a second, and can’t see anything, so he sighs and puts it back in his pocket. “Nothing.”
O’Chunks frowns, then says, “Hmm, maybe we shood try and fand out about that weird thing that happened after we got out ah that pahpe in Delfino!”
Mario looks up and quickly pulls out what used to be a star Spirit Card, the literal Crystal Star, and a Pure Heart. “I-a forgot about this! We should-a go to Toad Town to see Merlon! Maybe he can-a tell us what happened!”
Ninja considers this for a moment, then voices her opinion, “Yes, that’s a good idea, Merlon usually knows what to do. But first, we need to rest. We haven’t had sleep for a while.”
O’Chunks says sleepily, “Ah second tha’ idea.” (Yes to all you people out there, I know that I’m making O’Chunks sound like Hagrid, but you try to make him sound like he did in the game!)
Our heroes then retire for the night, each to their own tent, and try to fall to sleep. Ninja and O’Chunks fall asleep almost immediately, but Mario stays up tossing, turning, worrying. Worrying about Peach, worrying about the Mushroom Kingdom, worrying about his brother Luigi, just plain worrying. His thoughts travel to Dylan, the Whompi who thinks that Mario tried to kill him. Mario feels much pity toward the young child, who thinks that Dimentio is his protector, that Mario tried to kill him, that he must kill Mario at any cost. Eventually, his mind beset with worry, Mario finally falls asleep too.
His dreams serve him no better. He dreams of Peach, waiting for him at the door to her castle. As Mario runs up to her, she turns into Dimentio, who cackles and forms a box around Mario, and it explodes with Mario inside it. He is blasted to a million pieces, then finds himself in the Overthere. Dylan confronts him, shouting about how Mario had him, then he attacks Mario. Mario is knocked out of the Overthere into the Underwhere, where Jaydes finds him.
She grabs him, a look of urgency in her eyes. “Mario, great doom awaits you. After you face the jester, the Koopatrol of darkness, and the piggish man, beware, for your life may come to a close.”
Jaydes then starts shaking him, shouting, “Wake up, Mario! Wake up! If we want to get to Toad Town we have to hurry.”
The vision of Jaydes and the Underwhere fades, and Mario then sees Ninja and O’Chunks above him, shaking him. He gets up wordlessly and begins packing up for the journey, Jayde’s cryptic message still on his mind.
After packing up, Mario and Co. walk until about noon. They pass from the dark, scraggly lands of Dark Land to its outskirts, where Mario sets to work finding a certain warp pipe that will take him back to the outskirts of Toad Town. He finds it inside a roadside bush, and whistles for the others. They all jump into the pipe and get going.
They pop out in a field near Toad Town, which is visible in the distance. Mario and Co. begin to walk towards Toad Town, and right when they’re outside the town’s wall, a Toad runs out and slams into Mario. They both fall backward, and end up in a heap. The Toad jumps back up and sees that it is Mario he just ran into. He frantically starts babbling out his story.
“Mario! The town’s in danger! Peach came back, and she went to the castle. I was cleaning her room for her, and I noticed this small, metallic chip embedded in her crown. I asked her what it was, and she said that it wasn’t my job to be nosy, my job was to do what I’d been told. She told me that she knew just the thing to make me mind my own business, and she told me to look deep into her eyes. I was about to look, but all my instincts screamed against it, and I ran from the castle.
“I hid at my friend’s house, and he told me that Princess Peach was coming to all the houses to visit all the Toads in town. When she came, he hid me in his closet, and Peach began to talk to my friend. She asked him if I was here, and he said no, then she asked him a few questions about my whereabouts and he told her he didn’t know anything. She then told him to look into his eyes, and the next moment he came to the closet and wrenched it open. I screamed and kicked him off of me and ran.
“I escaped through the window and went to another friend’s house, and he grabbed me and said, ‘The princess would like to talk to you. Let me take you to her.’ I struggled out of his grasp and ran from the town. On the way out I noticed a sign that said that you are a wanted criminal. I think Peach is being mind-controlled by someone, and she’s in turn brainwashing the town. You have to help everyone!”
Mario, having listened to his story, says resolutely “I’ll do it!” before rushing into the town.
Mario walks carefully into Toad Town, and looks around. He sees a giant wanted poster with his face plastered on it, and a bunch of Toads standing in the town square, looking at it, as if expecting Mario to leap out of it. Mario motions to Ninja and O'Chunks, and carefully tries to slip by the Toads without being noticed. However, one Toad sees him. "It's Mario! Let's get him!" The Toads all run at Mario, blocking his route to the castle. Mario backs up, and then runs toward South Toad Town, not wanting to hurt the Toads.
Ninja and O'Chunks look at each other, the castle, then Mario running away, and then Ninja whispers in O'Chunk's ear, "You keep the Toads from Mario, and I'll go to the castle and take care of Peach!"
O'Chunks nods, but doesn't say anything (which is definitely not because I can't do his accent very well) and runs over to Mario. Ninja pulls her hood over her face, and says "Time to go for stealth" before slinking into a shadow and disappearing from view.
Mario runs into South Toad Town, then looks around, searching for an avenue of escape. He spies the pipe that leads to Toad Town sewers and considers going there for a moment, but makes up his mind when a giant crowd of Toads runs into the area, wielding torches and pitchforks, even holding signs that say things like "Purge the evil from our town!" and other happy things like that. Mario gulps and sprints for the pipe, but rams into three creatures that happen to be right in front of him. They roll in a heap and smash into the pipe leading to the sewers open. A whirlwind is seen where the pipe used to be, and it sucks Mario, the three creatures, O'Chunks (who just caught up), and the angry mob into the sewers…
The camera shows Peach's castle, which is decorated with all sorts of flags and pictures of Peach's face in stained glass windows and other fancy doodads. At the top is a spire, which bears a flag with a picture of Peach on it. The walls have images of Peach painted on them, and the front doors are made in Peach's shape and painted to look just like her, except a bit bigger so that everyone can get through. (Wow, who knew that Peach was so egotistic?) In front of the front doors, two resolute guards stand surveying the bridge to make sure that no unwanted intruders enter the castle. Well, they were standing. But then they feel a sharp rap on their heads and slump down, unconscious. The door behind them slips open, and a shadowy figure slips inside, shutting the door behind her.
As Ninja enters the castle, she looks around at the first room. On either side of her are two Peach statues, which she notices have cameras in their eyes to detect movement. Ninja evaluates her options, then takes out a hookshot. It shoots into the eyes of the statue on her right, and drags out the camera in it. She then smashes the camera with her foot, but as she turns to the other statue, she knows she did something wrong. A red light comes down in the middle of the room and starts blaring an alarm, and Peach's voice screams from it…
Mario flies out of the pipe and rolls onto his feet quickly, jumping out of the way as O'Chunks, Popple, Yaridovich, Morton Koopa Jr, and the angry mob come flying out of the pipe, smashing into each other. A Toad jumps up and shouts, "It's Mario! Get 'im!"
Mario turns around and gets ready to run farther into the sewers, when to his surprise, Yaridovich jumps in front of the mob and says, "Stop right there!"
A few Toads stop nervously, but then the one from earlier steps up and says, "It's just some rusty robot, we can take him down too!"
"Just some rusty robot, eh? Well can a rusty robot do this?" Yaridovich lifts up his hands, and a huge explosion of water fills the area, knocking out all the Toads. Now only Mario, O'Chunks, Popple, Morton, and Yaridovich are conscious.
Yaridovich turns to Mario, "If anyone's gonna kill Mario, it's gonna be me."
Ninja freezes for a second, wondering what kind of guards Peach will have, and from the ceiling drop two statues in the shape of Mario and Luigi. They jump in the air and land with a ground-shaking crash right in front of Ninja. If Peach has defenses this good, how does she get kidnapped once a week? Ninja wonders. Mario leaps up to jump on Ninja, and she jumps out of the way and turns into a side somersault, landing on Mario's head. Luigi, sensing Ninja's whereabouts, does a super jump above Ninja and Mario, then curls into a ground pound. Ninja flips off, and Luigi comes down, shattering Mario into millions of pieces. Luigi turns toward Ninja again, who throws a bomb shuriken. Luigi sticks out his hand and catches the bomb shuriken without cutting himself, because he's stone. He throws it back at Ninja, who knocks it back with her samurai sword. Luigi does a spinning kick into the shuriken, knocking it back at Ninja. The bomb is agitated by now, and after Ninja hits it back at Luigi, it explodes, shattering Luigi into dust.
Ninja brushes off her hands and heads toward the star door up the stairs. She heads through and sees the door to Peach's room right ahead. She walks toward it, looking around to watch for traps, and makes it to the door safely. She carefully prods the doorknob with her sword hilt, decides it's safe, and enters. As she comes in, she finds the horrifying sight of…
Yaridovich readies a flame stone above his head, but Morton socks him in the stomach and Yaridovich drops it on himself. Morton opens his mouth, "Hey! If anyone's got the right to kill Mario, it's me, Morton Koopa Jr, son of Bowser, also known as King Dad, ruler of Dark Land, and father to Larry, me, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, Ludwig, and that twerp Bowser Jr. who thinks he's cool but really isn't and is just a lame rip-off of Bowser with a stupid paintbrush that lets him turn into a rip-off of Mario and I mean who likes Bowser Jr. anyway, besides the author (kind of) and P.T. Piranha and King Dad, and- OW! It wasn't nice to hit me with that hammer, Popple, while I was speaking, talking, giving advice, and all around being nice and helpful, and HEY! Why did you grab me? Put me down! I'm a prince, and if you don't put me down, I'll tell King Dad, and WOAH, don't throw me into that sewage water, it probably isn't clean, and dirty and full of gross icky stuff, and AHH!!!"
"Ow! Who just ups and whacks someone's head with an annoying Koopa like that?"
Morton goes flying back out of the water, landing in a heap on the cold ground, and out of the water pops, Super Blooper!
As Ninja comes into the princess' bedroom, she sees the horrifying sight of… nothing… All right, it isn't that horrifying, that was just fancy embellishment. She doesn't find anything, and she turns around and walks out the door. Ninja looks around, then thinks, Maybe she's up higher in the castle. Ninja climbs the stairs and opens the door at the top, entering Peach's private chambers. She walks past a few windows, including the giant one that was broken by Bowser and hasn't been fixed yet. Wow, after two games, too! Talk about procrastination! Ninja thinks. Ninja goes to the end and enters the door. She climbs the staircase and comes out on the balcony. Nothing there, either. Ninja walks across and comes to the spiral staircase. She climbs up to the top, and finds, nothing, zilch, nada! She looks around for a bit, then she notices the last door. She walks through, and the first thing she notices is that Peach widened her balcony, which used to be only big enough for one person, to now be large enough to have a game of basketball on. Not that Plitians know what basketball is anyway.
The second thing she notices is the figure in the pink dress, who is looking over the edge of the balcony, hair flying in the breeze. The same figure that turns around immediately, looking straight at Ninja with an evil grin. Peach.
Super Blooper whacks O'Chunks with his tentacles, causing him to stumble back, but then he leaps into the air, executing a ground pound on one of Super Blooper's tentacles. Super Blooper hops around in pain, then squirts ink all over the battlefield. Popple stumbles around, then takes out that one bag that he has when you fight solo, and throws stuff in random directions. He doesn't know who he's throwing at because of the ink, but doesn't really care too much. The other fighters are all pelted by random objects, and Yaridovich gets fed up, throwing a flame stone. It appears that Yaridovich isn't Smithy's smartest minion, as he forgot the vital bit of info that ink is flammable.
The fighting arena bursts into flames, scorching everyone except for Super Blooper, who ducks back underwater. Everywhere people are stopping, dropping, and rolling, until Yaridovich realizes that water puts out fire! What an amazing discovery! He should get the Nobel Piece Prize! Anyway, the water puts out the fire, leaving a slightly melted robot, and a crispy thief, plumber, Koopa, and weird Irish dude. Super Blooper comes out of the water again only to receive a fireball in the face from Mario. Super Blooper dives back into the water to put out the flames. At this point, however, everyone has ignored Morton enough that he has conjured a gigantic ball of energy on the end of his wand…
Peach grabs her frying pan and throws it at Ninja, who nimbly hops to the side, but the pan comes back in boomerang fashion, hitting Ninja on the back of the head. She falls down forward and goes into a forward somersault, and ends it by spinning around on her hands in a breakdancing move, which trips Peach. Ninja jumps back on her feet, and feels the back of her head with her hand, wiping away some blood. Peach leaps up from being prostrate on the ground and attempts to kick Ninja in the face. Ninja dodges in a backflip and lands deftly on her feet. Peach pulls out her umbrella and runs at Ninja. Ninja waits for Peach to get there, and when she is within a few feet, Ninja leaps up in the air, flying over Peach's head. Peach takes her umbrella and whacks Ninja with it while she is in midjump. Ninja lands on the ground clumsily, sprawling on it before leaping back up, a goose egg on her forehead. Peach grins sinisterly and points her umbrella at Ninja, and the tip opens up, shooting Bullet Bills at Ninja.
"Well, excuse me! What did I do?" Ninja shouts, dodging blast after blast.
Peach looks at Ninja devilishly, a look of cruel delight on her face, "You should have known better than to enter a princess' castle uninvited!"
Bullet Bills continue to fire from Peach's dreaded umbrella blaster, and Ninja is finding it difficult to keep dodging. Soon a Bullet Bill hits her, knocking her into the side of the balcony. As soon as she regains her composure, another Bullet Bill comes at her, smashing into her. Ninja topples backwards over the edge of the balcony, way up in the sky…
Morton laughs, waving his wand in front of him threateningly. "HA! You should have thought twice before throwing me into that stinky, slimy sewage full of junk, Bloopers, and other disgusting stuff. Now Morton Koopa Jr, ruler of Desert Land, Emperor of the Donut Plains, sultan of deserts, and son to Bowser, King of the Koopas, ruler of Dark Land, and father to Larry, me, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, Ludwig, and Bowser Jr., who is a cheap ripoff of-"
"KILL ME NOW, DAD!" shouts Yaridovich to the skies. Morton Koopa seems to be offended for some strange reason.
"Hey, my talking isn't that bad, you ignorant, ugly, filthy robot who is interrupting my speech of amazingness, and uber coolness, and-"
"Hey, Morton, is-a that blast made of electricity?" Mario asks, a gleam in his eye.
"Yes, why?" Morton asks, suddenly wary.
Mario acts quickly. He grabs a wrench from his pocket and throws it at a pipe overhead. The pipe bursts open, sending water everywhere. Mario grabs O'Chunks, leaping for the warp, as a panicked Morton lets loose his blast of electricity, which hits the water.
Four voices scream simultaneously, "BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGGH! END TRANSMISSION!"
Ninja feels her feet fly from the platform, and she goes hurtling over the balcony. As panic surges through her mind, she shoots her hand forward, trying to grab something. Her hand latches onto the ledge and she tries to grab it with her other hand, but can't. Peach walks above Ninja, looking down sinisterly at her victim.
"Join me, Ninja, and you will gain power beyond anything you can possibly imagine."
"No! I'd rather die than betray my friends."
"It is your destiny!"
Peach takes out her umbrella and holds it above Ninja's hand, "I give you a choice. Join me or die."
Mario and O'Chunks go flying out of the pipe, and leap to their feet. Mario turns to O'Chunks. "That was a close one! Where's Ninja?"
O'Chunks replies, "She said tha' she was going ta take care 'o' Peach."
"We-a need to hurry! She may be in trouble!" Mario shouts. "Let's-a go!"
The two run off to the castle…
Ninja has managed to grab on with her other hand, but this doesn't look like it'll help her much, considering the bind she's in. Peach looms above her, umbrella held high, and Ninja tries quickly to choose. She finally makes up her mind. "I'll never join evil beings like you while there's still good in this world!"
Peach looks down at Ninja almost pityingly. "Then you choose death…"
Peach raises the umbrella high, ready to bring it down on Ninja's fingers. Ninja closes her eyes, anticipating the strike. But right before contact, the door bursts open, and Mario and O'Chunks sprint in. Peach spins around, caught unawares, and Ninja leaps back onto the ledge and tackles Peach. Peach's crown falls off and rolls to the edge of the balcony. Peach lunges for it, but it falls to the ground below, where it shatters, chip and all.
Peach suddenly flops down, and looks around at everyone. Then she says, as if disbelievingly, "Mario?
Mario grins hugely. "Peach?"
Mario and Peach run towards each other, arms outspread, in slowmo and everything to make it look dramatic, too! Then, a record scratching sound is heard.
Dimentio appears right between both of them, holding a record player, which he made do that annoying scratching noise.
Mario stops in his tracks. "Dimentio?"
Dimentio laughs. "Ah ha ha! I appear unwanted, like a man with no shirt or shoes at a fast food restaurant! I just came to take her back!"
Peach screams, "No! You can't! Mario! Here, I have the Sapphire Star!"
Peach takes out the Sapphire Star to
throw it to Mario, but it is too late; Dimentio snaps his fingers, and
he, Peach, and the Sapphire Star are gone…
Why did Dimentio rekidnap Peach? What was that strange card that we were supposed to learn about this episode but didn't? Why did the Super Blooper come in? What does something you learn in school have to do with real life? Find out when you come back for more of Dimentio's Revenge, Thursdays, 8:00 on the Koopa Channel!