The Monty Mole

By Badyoyo

Day 21
Castle Koopa

Badyoyo: First there were 10, now there are 9. Bugaboom had the fewest correct answers and was eliminated. The remaining 9 have no coins in the pot. So either theyâ€ôre incredibly stupid and I should've got a better cast to do this show, or one of them is a genius and gets an automatic bye to the finals. That genius is... The Monty Mole.

Kamek is seen in a cool car.
Kamek Koopa
Age 57
Magic Administrator
Darkland

Bowser is thinking.
Bowser Koopa
Age 45
King
Darkland

Belome is sleeping
Belome
Age 23
Food Taster
Birthplace Unknown

Gourmet Guy is eating
Gourmet Guy
Age 36
Roadblock
Shy Guy Toybox

Waluigi brushes his hair in front of the camera.
Waluigi Wario
Age 24
Oil Company President
Dinosaur City

Grodus is talking to a random person.
Grodus
Age Unknown
Leader of X-nauts
Birthplace Unknown (because he's a robot)

Captain Syrup is looking out a window.
Captain Syrup
Age 34
Pirate
Birthplace Unknown

General Guy is pounding his fist on a table.
General Guy
Age 34
General
Shy Guy Toybox

Goomba looks at the camera, not knowing what to do.
Goomba
Age 25
Minion
Birthplace Unknown

3 days in, and the Monty Mole has already struck mentally. Belome, who cost his team the first challenge, is sick in bed.

Day 3
8:00 AM

Everyone is eating. Theyâ€ôre all pretty much eating the same things from yesterday, only Goomba is having orange juice and Waluigi is having some of Belome's eggplants.

Badyoyo: Good morning, everyone. I hope you recovered from yesterday's challenge. There are eight of you here: Bugaboom has left us, and Belome has called in sick. However, here's some good news: we have a challenge for you. I need you to nominate the group's best golfer.

Waluigi: Waluigi love to golf!

Badyoyo: All right Waluigi, choose the worst golfer in the group.

Waluigi: Hmm... Goomba has no hands, so Waluigi chooses him.

Badyoyo: All right, weâ€ôll have a challenge for you two later, now you all get in the cab while I chat with the others.

Waluigi and Goomba leave.

Badyoyo: However, don't think you all get a get out of jail free card. We have a challenge for all of you as well. I need you 6 to turn into 3 teams of two: artists, animal lovers, and... those guys.

Captain Syrup: AR! I be an artist!

Kamek: I do painting as well.

Grodus: I love my minions, I must be an animal lover.

Gourmet Guy: I love food around the world, does that count as animal loving?

Badyoyo: And that makes Bowser and General Guy... those guys. Down the road there are 3 cars, in each car there is a mission CD. Listen to it carefully and obey it's instructions. I'll meet you on the beach. Lady and gentlemen, go to your cars.

The 6 get into their cars.

Grodus: Gourmet Guy, your task is to pop in the CD.

Gourmet Guy pops in the disk. The 6 don't know theyâ€ôre listening to The Monty Mole's theme song (the one you're listening to now).

CD: I hope you are on your way to the beach. Your mission is simple: collect 1,500 coins to donate to Diamond City Kindergarten. If you are successful you will also earn 50,000 coins for the group's pot. I suggest you actually win this one. You will have 3 hours. In the trunk you will have everything you need, but do not open the trunk early, do not stop the car until you are at the beach, and do not communicate with other teams. Once again, good luck, and I hope you have good news for the little kindergarteners.

They drive onto the beach.

Badyoyo: You have 3 hours, your time starts... now!

Everyone pops their trunks.

Kamek: Ok, we're going to paint people's faces. You know how to do that?

Captain Syrup: AR! I be making camouflage masks for the boys, you make temporary tattoos for the other kiddies.

Kamek: Got it.

With Grodus and Gourmet Guy:

Gourmet Guy: Ok... It says here we have to give donkey rides to people.

Grodus: Scanners show no donkeys are on this beach.

Gourmet Guy: Why give us a task that we don't even have the proper equipment for?

Grodus: Weather forecast: Chances of rain... 100%.

It starts raining

Gourmet Guy: ... Perfect... Just perfect...

Grodus: Wait... Scanners are detecting donkeys in that direction.

Gourmet Guy: Oh good, maybe we can still win.

With Bowser and General Guy:

Bowser and General guy have made a little amphitheater.

Bowser: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE PLAN! YOU ARE GOING TO DO STAND UP COMEDY FOR LITTLE KIDS!

General Guy: I can't do comedy, who do you think I am? Brian Regan?

Bowser plays a laugh track.

General Guy: ...

Bowser: I GAVE YOU A SCRIPT! JUST MEMORIZE IT AND MAKE KIDS LAUGH!

General Guy: *sigh*

With Kamek and Captain Syrup:

Kamek is all the rage with his face painting skills, while no one is interested in Captain Syrup's painting.

Captain Syrup: … *sigh*

With Grodus and Gourmet Guy:

Gourmet Guy and a whole bunch of people are following Grodus.

Grodus: Why are they following us?

Gourmet Guy: I've been advertising our donkey rides.

Grodus: ... Scanners say donkeys are-

Grodus bumps into a donkey.

Grodus: Right here.

Gourmet Guy: All right, everyone, five coins per person, ride donkeys at your own risk.

People start getting on the donkeys and ride off with Grodus guiding them.

With General Guy and Bowser:

General Guy: And what's the deal with rareline food? I mean that stuff is air! ... I mean what's the food with airline deal? I mean, what's the deal with airline... food! That stuff is rare!

Kid: Look at the stupid man, Mommy. He's funny.

Mother: I've told you, we are going to stop paying random street performers... especially the bad ones that need a laugh track.

The laugh track plays but Bowser smashes it halfway through its laughter.

Bowser: I SEE WE SHARE A COMMON OPINION!

Mother: Yes... but I'm still not paying either of you.

Bowser: HOW MUCH WILL YOU GIVE ME IF I SMASH THAT STUPID GUY IN HIS THEATER THINGY?!

Mother: I'll give you some cash.

Bowser: AWESOME! RANDOM RAMPAGE TIME!

Bowser attacks General Guy and his amphitheater.

With Kamek and Captain Syrup:

Kamek has a bunch of kids around him and Captain Syrup " The so called best camouflage painter in the seven seas" still has yet to paint a face.

Captain Syrup: Just skip to another team.

With Grodus and Gourmet Guy:

Grodus: Time remaining... One hour and ten minutes.

Gourmet Guy: How much money do we have?

Grodus: ... Calculating... 250 coins.

Gourmet Guy: We need to keep going then.

Meanwhile with Bowser and General Guy:

Bowser is seen stomping on General Guy.

General Guy: UNCLE! UNCLE! UNCOOL UNCLE!

Mother: Ok, that's enough destruction, here's your money.

The mother gives Bowser a small bag of coins.

Bowser: THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ENOUGH! WE NEED TO KEEP GOING! HEY EVERYONE! WHO WANTS TO PAY ME TO BEAT UP THIS GUY?!
A small crowd forms around Bowser.

Meanwhile, Kamek and-

Captain Syrup: Still the same over here.

I mean with Grodus and Gourmet Guy.

Grodus: If I had a nose, I predict I would be smelling a lot of money.

Gourmet Guy: If I had a nose, I'd be smelling donkey manure.

Grodus: The money is good though.

Grodus and Gourmet Guy start walking back until Gourmet Guy notices a hole in Grodusâ€ôs suit from which money is coming out of.

Gourmet Guy: Hey! You're dropping money, you idiot!

Grodus: Huh? Oh, my mistake. There must be a hole in one of my compartments, I'll fix it when we get back to the hotel.

Grodus scoops up the dropped money and places it in a box.

In a fast forwarded clip, the 6 end up around Badyoyo.

Badyoyo: I surely hope you people did something good. Let's how you did. Kamek and Captain Syrup, how much did you make?

Kamek: I made 550 coins, but Syrup didn't sell a thing.

Badyoyo: Good, Gourmet Guy and Grodus, how much did you make?

Grodus: Estimated amount... 700 coins.

Badyoyo: Impressive. That adds up to 1,250 coins, so it's down to Bowser and a beat up General Guy, how much did you make?

Bowser: I MADE 900 COINS JUST FOR BEATING UP GENERAL GUY! WE WIN!

Badyoyo: You certainly do, you guys get 50,000 coins for your groupâ€ôs pot.

50,000 coins fall from the sky and land in the pot that has been empty for quite a while.

Badyoyo: Congratulations, everyone, now let's go down to the golf course. We have another challenge for you, and this one will include Waluigi and Goomba.

While the others did their charity work Waluigi and Goomba went golfing, or more like golf tutoring since Goomba was the only one golfing while Waluigi was giving advice. On their way to the golf course they noticed something.

Waluigi and Goomba: A NOTE!

Waluigi and Goomba both grab the note:

Both: IT'S MINE! (Actually Goomba is holding onto the paper with his mouth so he sounds more like MM RRM!)

Waluigi: Waluigi found it first and is your instructor.

Goomba refuses to let go; exasperated, Waluigi takes out some pepper spray and uses some of  it on Goomba, screaming in agony lets go of the note. Waluigi  begins to read.

Waluigi: "One has left... who will be next?... Signed The Monty Mole."

Goomba: That's it?

Waluigi: Yep, too bad, Waluigi really thought it was an exemption pass.

Goomba: Let's just go to the golf course.

Another note was on the beach where everyone was doing their charity challenge. However, they didn't notice it. After a sports montage showing the evolution on how Goomba went from the worst player on the field to being able to finish in two strokes, Badyoyo and the other 6 are seen in a tower watching Goomba and Waluigi on a television.

Badyoyo: All right, guys, here's the challenge, Goomba here is going to try and get a hole in one this hole. If he gets it in, you guys get 50,000 coins added to your pot. If he doesn't get a hole in one, you 6 will have to answer questions about Diamond City. For every question you get right, Goomba gets two free extra strokes. So Goomba has a maximum of 13 strokes to get that ball in the hole. Any questions?

Kamek: Yeah, why haven't we left Diamond City yet?

Badyoyo: Ratings, something you wouldn't understand. Ready, Goomba?

Goomba: Ready.

Waluigi: Come on, let's get a hole in one so Waluigi can have money for once!

Goomba hits the ball with the club in his mouth; it lands in the sand trap right outside the green.

Badyoyo: Kamek, here's your question. Who is this city built around?

Kamek: That's simple. Wario.

Badyoyo: Correct! Goomba, you get two more swings.

Goomba: Got it!

Goomba knocks the ball out of the sand trap and onto the green.

Badyoyo: Ok, it's on the green. Just one perfect putt will win you the money.

Goomba hits the ball, and it's just short of the hole.

Badyoyo: Ok, one more correct answer and you'll probably get the money. Bowser, what is Diamond City's football team?

Bowser: THAT'S EASY! THE DIAMOND CITY ROUGHS!

Badyoyo: You got it! Goomba you can now make your putt.

Goomba knocks it into the hole and 50,000 coins fall out of the sky and crush Goomba, Waluigi takes out a vacuum and sucks all the coins up, only instead of holding all the coins in a bag he's using the team's pot.

Video Diaries:

Kamek: Well we've had a successful day. I made a lot of  kids happy by painting on their faces and Goomba made himself a good golfer.

Bowser: DESTROYING STUFF AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS IS FUN!

Gourmet Guy: I worked with Grodus on the donkeys, which went exactly as planned, but him having that hole in his compartment raises my suspicions.

Waluigi: What a great day! Waluigi had no idea that Goomba could golf so well with Waluigi's help. When Waluigi give up his company, Waluigi should be a golf tutor.

Grodus: Chances of getting 1,000,000 coins or more... 90%.

Captain Syrup: AR! ... Okay, I admit my painting skills need a little work, but it's not my fault, pirates aren't made to paint faces.

General Guy: Waluigi and Goomba told us about a note they found... which raises suspicions actually... How could The Monty Mole get to the golf course? He or she must've had some tie to it... Hmmm.

Goomba: I went from complete novice to a complete pro at golf! Nintendo is sure to use me in their next game!

Day 4
Noon

The eight walk across a beach and up a mountain. Waluigi and General Guy get tired on the way up though, and Gourmet Guy and Grodus roll down at one point. Badyoyo and Wario are at the top of it.

Badyoyo: Guys, I have good news and bad news... The bad news is Belome still isn't going to join us, but the good news... we have a challenge for you and it is worth 100,000 coins if you win. You like the scenery, right?

Everyone nods.

Badyoyo: Yes... however, you won't like it after you see it rushing past you at over 100 miles per hour, because we're taking you to a racetrack made by me. Now-

Wario: AND! The people who donated that racetrack was WarioWare. So buy my games! Because I can be good... sometimes.

Badyoyo: I need all of you to split into 3 teams: two teams of three, and one team of two. In each team, there'll be 3 roles: a driver, a navigator, and a one man  pit crew. However, with Belome gone the person team must have one person navigate and be the pit crew, making that team maybe the most important choice you guys make. I need you to make your teams... now!

Kamek: All right, I can navigate and do pit crew. Who wants to be my partner?

Bowser: I WILL!

Kamek: (Dang it.)

Waluigi: Waluigi knows oil! Waluigi want to be pit crew!

General Guy: So do I!

Grodus: Most probable role in task... navigator.

General Guy: We'll work together then!

Captain Syrup: AR! I Be driving this land boat!

Badyoyo: Timeâ€ôs up! Who is Team A?

General Guy, Grodus and Captain Syrup raise their hands.

Badyoyo: Ok, who's Team B?

Waluigi, Gourmet Guy, and Goomba raise their hands.

Badyoyo: And so the handicapped Team C... is Kamek and Bowser, all right. Time to take you to your race course.

3 cool racing cars come racing down. A yellow one, a green one, and a blue one.

Badyoyo: All right, time to choose your cars. Kamek, since you're on the handicapped team, which car do you want?

Kamek: With Bowser driving, I think the blue will keep us safe from the cops.

Badyoyo: Grodus, which car do you want?

Grodus: Systems suggest I take the fastest of the two, green car's maximum speed is... 195 MPH. Yellow car's maximum speed is... 255 MPH. We choose the yellow car.

Badyoyo: All right, so Waluigi's team gets the green one. So here's the deal, you must race around this racetrack in each of your cars before 20 minutes are up if you want that 100,000 coins. If all cars make it before times runs out, you get the money, if you don't-

Wario: I GET IT! WAHAHA!

Badyoyo: Yellow Car, youâ€ôre up first.

Grodus ejects his head and hops into the car, and is given a map. Captain Syrup gets into the car.

Badyoyo: On your mark! Get set! ... GO!

The car speeds off.

Grodus: Turn right in... 34 yards.

Captain Syrup veers right awkwardly.

Grodus: Turn right in 33 yards.

Captain Syrup does the same thing she's not used to driving cars and they reach the pit stop quickly.

General Guy: Hup hup hup!

General Guy lifts up the car and quickly replaces the wheels. When he gives the okay, Captain Syrup and Grodus drive off.

Grodus: Turn right in...  32 yards.

Captain Syrup turns, but goes out of control and hits a wall.

Grodus: Turn right in 31-

Captain Syrup: ALL RIGHT, I GET IT!

Captain Syrup misses the turn.

Grodus: Turn around.

Captain Syrup: What?

Grodus: You were to turn in 31 feet.

Captain Syrup: Grrrr!

Captain Syrup turns around and drives past the finish line at 8:34. The next car starts off, with Gourmet Guy driving and Goomba navigating.

Goomba: Turn right... now!

Gourmet Guy turns; he's not great with cars, but the car is made to-

Gourmet Guy: We're going to crash!

Never mind

Gourmet Guy runs into a wall.

Goomba: Hurry! We're losing time!

Gourmet Guy turns around quickly and drives to Waluigi.

Waluigi: Waluigi number one!

Waluigi gets the jack out under the car, but can't lift it.

Waluigi: Waluigi needs some help over here!

Badyoyo: You cannot receive help.

Waluigi: Waluigi hate this show.

After a couple of minutes, Waluigi finally gets the car up and running again.

Waluigi: *phew* There.

The car speeds off and Gourmet Guy drives it over the finish line at 18:43.

Kamek: Turn-

Mario runs across the street.

Bowser: IT'S MARIO!

SQUEALLLL!

Bowser turns around.

Bowser: I'M GOING TO CRUSH YOU, MARIO!

Bowser starts chasing after Mario and drives straight off the course and off the track. Bowser grabs Mario and Kamek teleports them back to the starting line.

Badyoyo: Off course! You lose!

Contestants except Bowser: Oh come on!

Wario: YES!

Another 100,000 coins fall out of the sky and land in Wario's bag.

Wario: Let's see, I have 350,000 coins in my pot, and you all have 100,000. I love this game.

Bowser: LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE! I FINALLY CAUGHT MARIO!

Bowser lifts up a Mario doll, then quickly notices his mistake.

Bowser: WHOOPS! ... UH... SORRY, GUYS!

The 7 glare at Bowser.

Badyoyo: Well, you all lost again, was it a mistake... or sabotage?

Badyoyo glares at Bowser.

Badyoyo: Why am I asking you while you can just take the test when we get back to the hotel?

The camera cuts to 9 blue squares, each one featuring the head of a character taking the test, so no one can see the others taking the test, but they can at least see their heads, including Belome. Waluigi and the others notice this.

Waluigi: (singing) It's the story! Of Waluigi! Who joined a strange game!

Belome: (singing) And if! I get eliminated this round! It will be very lame!

Kamek: (singing)  It's the story! Of the Monty Mole! Who by the way is one of us!

Captain Syrup: (singing) I really, hate this song, it's really makes want to scream and cuss!

Walugi: (singing) Then one day we all had to take a test, and we knew it was much more than a hunch.

Belome: (singing) That we had, to get together... and somehow find the Monty Mole!

Bowser: THAT DIDN'T RHYME! THE POINT OF MAKING MUSICAL REFERENCES IS TO MAKE THEM RHYME!

1. What did the Monty Mole have for breakfast on day 3?
Kamek: Bacon
Bowser: EGGPLANTS!
Belome: Bacon
Gourmet Guy: Bacon
Waluigi: Oil
Grodus: Toast
Captain Syrup: Toast
General Guy: Bacon
Goomba: Milk

2. Is the Monty Mole human like?
Kamek: No
Bowser: YES!
Belome: Yes
Gourmet Guy: No
Waluigi: No
Grodus: Yes
Captain Syrup: No
General Guy: No
Goomba: Yes

3. What was the Monty Mole's role in the charity challenge?
Kamek: Wasn't There
Bowser: WASN'T THERE!
Belome: Wasn't there
Gourmet Guy: Wasn't there
Waluigi: Animal Lover
Grodus: Wasn't there
Captain Syrup: Those Guys.
General Guy: Those Guys
Goomba: Artist

4. What color hair does the Monty Mole have?
Kamek: Yellow
Bowser: RED!
Belome: Red
Gourmet Guy: Yellow
Waluigi: No hair
Grodus: Red
Captain Syrup: No Hair
General Guy: Red
Goomba: Red

5. Did the Monty Mole find a note?
Kamek: No
Bowser: NO!
Belome: Yes
Gourmet Guy: No
Waluigi: Yes
Grodus: Yes
Captain Syrup: No
General Guy: No
Goomba: No

6. Where was the Monty Mole born?
Kamek: Unknown
Bowser: UNKNOWN!
Belome: Shy Guy Toy Box
Gourmet Guy: Unknown
Waluigi: Unknown
Grodus: Dinosaur City
Captain Syrup: Shy Guy Toy Box
General Guy: Unknown
Goomba: Unknown

7. Did the Monty Mole pick the car for his team?
Bowser: NO!
Everyone Else: No

8.What is the Monty Mole's Occupation?
Kamek: Food Taster
Bowser: PIRATE!
Belome: Roadblock
Gourmet Guy: Food Taster
Waluigi: Leader of X-Nauts
Grodus: Oil Company President
Captain Syrup: King
General Guy: King
Goomba: Pirate

9. Did the Monty Mole contribute to the golf challenge in any way?
Kamek: No
Bowser: No
Belome: Yes
Gourmet Guy: No
Waluigi: No
Grodus: Yes
Captain Syrup: No
General Guy: No
Goomba: No

10. Did the Monty Mole successfully climb up the mountain with no problems?
Kamek: No
Bowser: NO!
Belome: Yes
Gourmet Guy: No
Waluigi: No
Grodus: Yes
Captain Syrup: Yes
General Guy: Yes
Goomba: Yes

11. What was the Monty Mole's role in the car challenge?
Kamek: Not there
Bowser: PIT CREW!
Belome: Driver
Gourmet Guy: Not There
Waluigi: Navigator
Grodus: Driver
Captain Syrup: Pit Crew
General Guy: Driver
Goomba: Driver

12. Did the Monty Mole just sing?
Kamek: Yes
Bowser: YES!
Belome: Yes
Gourmet Guy: Yes
Waluigi: No
Grodus: No
Captain Syrup: No
General Guy: No
Goomba: Yes

13. Who is the Monty Mole?
Kamek:?
Bowser:?
Belome:?
Gourmet Guy:?
Waluigi:?
Grodus:?
Captain Syrup:?
General Guy:?
Goomba:?

Everyone is out in the field, Gloomtail is behind them and Wario is at the machine counting his new coins.

Badyoyo: Well, you made money today. But now only one of you will get it. Right now let's see who was dumb enough to get the fewest questions right on the quiz. Wario, are you ready?

Wario reads the results and drops 8 green carrots and 1 red carrot in the machine.

Badyoyo: We'll start with... Belome!

The carrot comes out, Bowser restrains Belome from eating it this time. The carrot's top is...

Bowser: HA! RED!

Badyoyo: Belome, it's time to go.

Belome: Aw man, this is all Waluigi's fault! I don't know how, but this is all his fault.

Gloomtail spews poison breath onto Belome, who faints just like Bugaboom. The ground opens up and Belome falls in.

Badyoyo: The Monty Mole has claimed his or her second victim... Who will be next?

Interview with the Monty Mole: We all saw this coming, the guy was sick in bed and tried to play detective. Now's he stuck with me and Bugaboom.

The camera shifts to large cafe holding Bugaboom and Belome, as the Monty Mole starts laughing evilly.

Read on!


 
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