Survivor 2: The REAL Deal

By Tenacious B

Terrible Tribe, Day 31

Terrible Tribe wake up to see Bombette's missing.

Parakarry: Hey, where's Bombette?

Rawk Hawk: Beats me.

Michael Tarver: BALDY! WHERE ARE YOU?

Birdo whacks Michael Tarver upside the head.

Michael Tarver: What?!

Birdo, Egg Seller: Honestly, I'm getting tired of the human, he has no compassion.

Suddenly a warp pipe appears. Jolene pops out of it.

Petey: Now what does she want?

Jolene: I heard that! Anyway, Bombette has forfeited her place in the game.

Terrible Powers start complaining.

Jolene: SHUT UP! ... Sso she decided to give her position to me.

Terrible Powers complain even more.

Jolne: SHUT UP!.....I will follow the rules just like everyone else. I have only brought one comfort item.....a suitcase.

Parakarry: Well I guess that's-

Jolene unpacks her suitcase and a log cabin pops out of it.

Parakarry:.......fair.

Jolene: This is where I'll be staying.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: Ok, this host is getting on my RAWKing nerves! She gets a log cabin while we sleep on the ground?!

Jolene enters the log cabin and closes the door.

Jolene: Let's see, what should I wear for the show?

Jolene does a montage showing herself in many different dresses to the camera.

Jolene: And they say I wasn't original.

Cameraman: Well you aren't.

Shy Guy: And they said you were boring!

Jolene throws a boot at Shy Guy.

Jolene: Oh yes, here's the one.

Jolene appears from her dressing room in a bright red bikini.

Jolene: Let's do this.

Meanwhile, back outside...

Rawk Hawk: This is stupid! She's a host AND a contestant?

Parakarry: I say we all team up and make her lose the immunity challenge.

Birdo: But if she's voted off, who's going to host?

Tubba Blubba: Beats me.

Everyone looks at Tubba Blubba and goes away from him.

Tubba Blubba: Okay, this gag is getting old! At least when she gets voted off, I can stop being her slave.

He goes to throw himself in a tar pit, which Jolene told him to do.

Jolene pulls Tubba Blubba out of the tar pit.

Jolene: We're trying to keep it fair. So you, my "Friend", are the host.

Tubba Blubba: Oh thank you! I love this already! You're such a great friend!

Jolene: Don't mention it.

Jolene walks off.

Jolene: You stupid idiot tub of lard thatís bigger and stupider than Wario.

Tubba Blubba may no longer be invincible, but his hearing is very good. He heard what Jolene said he got rather angry at her. He smashed the ground.

Tubba Blubba: I hope that stupid Glitz Pit of hers is failing! Like those three stupid authors!

Speaking of the authors...

Tenacious B is in the major league locker room, Badyoyo's putting some rubbing medicine on his foot. ETFROXX turns on the gameboy.

Macho Grubba: BOY HOWDY TENACIOUS B! How are ya?! You ready for your next match?!

Birby: Guess so.

Macho Grubba: Ok, I have you two in the Six-man elimination battle!

Badyoyo: I guess that's good news. Who are we fighting?

Macho Grubba: You'll be fighting Mr. L, Bowser Memory M, Anti-Guy, and The Koopinator!

Birby: Dang.

Macho Grubba: Oh by the way, Birby I want you to wear a "GOOMBAS STINK!" gat.

Birby gasps.

Macho Grubba: And Badyoyo, I want you to wear a Baltimore Ravens T-Shirt I bought from Earth.

Badyoyo was in shock. His family was always hardcore Pittsburgh Fans. You know those crazy fans that had black and gold paint over them and holding dead ravens? Those were usually his parents.

Tenacious B: NO!

Macho Grubba: Oh I'm not asking you to, I'm forcing you to!

A Security guard comes in and forces Tenacious B to put the clothes on. ETFROXX watches in horror.

Back to the island.

Parakarry is in the sky looking for some food to eat.

Parakarry, Mailman: So hungry, we have no food. We have no shelter. We have no nothing.

Rawk Hawk is picking up dead trees and tossing them into the ocean.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: Why? Because there's nothing else to do.

Petey: There's nothing left to do!

Rawk Hawk: We've entered the worst part of this game! The dang waiting!

Meanwhile Jolene is in her log cabin happily eating some fruit while reading "Ivanhoe".

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: I'm going to be on the island for a long 11 days. Might as well get some reading in.

Birdo: Well, we might as well have some food.

Michael Tarver: About time.

Birdo shoots out a couple of eggs, one accidentally hits Parakarry making him plummet into a rock.

Parakarry: OW!

Birdo: Sorry.

Rawk Hawk gets Parakarry and drags to the others wearing they begin eating Birdo eggs.

Michael Tarver, Professional Wrestler: I am never going to have Birdo eggs for the rest of my life. I've eaten so dang many on the stupid tribe!

Parakarry gets up.

Parakarry: Eureka! I have an idea!

Petey: What is it genius?

Parakarry: Once my head got smacked on that rock, I got a marvellous plan! Once everyone goes to bed at night, we sneak in Jolene's cabin, kick her out, and take it over. We then won't have to sleep in tree leaves anymore!

Petey: I would normally disagree with you, but since there is nothing to do, count me in.

They head off, waiting until nighttime to do their ambush.

Jolene is seen leaving her Log Cabin to go do an interview.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: I am Jolene.

Jolene leans onto the back of her Log Cabin.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: And this, is my Log Cabin, it's made out 600 perfectly cut trees that would normally cost 482 coins. It takes 48,200 coins just to build one wall. If you include the roof and floor. I also added a few other things. Like a dressing room, a nice TV, a kitchen, and a few items that make me feel secure.

Parakarry and the others slowly emerge from the bush.

Parakarry: * Whispering* Alright, coast is clear.

Parakarry, Petey, Michael Tarver, Rawk Hawk and Birdo sneak up to the front of the house.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: People think they can outsmart me...maybe....maybe.

Parakarry opens the door to see a Bullet Bill cannon pointed right at him.

Parakarry: RUN!

The cannon fires the Bullet Bill, it starts chasing the other 5 member of Terrible Powers.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: I have yet to meet someone who can outsmart a bullet bill.

An explosion happens in the background.

Everyone is far away, completely smoked from the Bullet Bill.

Rawk Hawk: Nice one genius!

Parakarry: It wasn't my fault it had a high security system!

Petey: How can this get any worse?

Airmail comes, and hits Petey in the head.

Petey: Ouch.

He gets out the mail, and it reads:
Petey: * Reading Airmail* Do you like Donkey Kong 64?
Because I have something cool in store
The battle will be like the final boss
Rawk Hawk really won't want a loss.

Rawk Hawk: Huh?

Parakarry: I swear this game gets stupider by the episode.

Birdo: Well why even participate? Jolene will probably just cheat and win.

Michael Tarver:....Hey, I have an idea. Who here as played Donkey Kong 64?

Michael Tarver raises his hand, but the others don't.

Michael Tarver:......Alright, I'll just tell you the plan.

Meanwhile at the Glitz Pit...

Badyoyo and Birby are still fighting off the guards trying not to get the clothes on, it's hard for the guards to put the clothes on Tenacious B since they only have little stubs for arms and hands. Macho Grubba appears on the gameboy.

Macho Grubba: False Alarm Tenacious B! I was told by Tubba Blubba that we're not going to have the title match! Something about fairness he said. You two can go.

The Guards take the clothes and leave the locker room.

Koopinator: Thankfully they're gone, now I can return to my concentration. I hate Jolene, she always gives us bad stipulations. Like " Don't use hammers or items when fighting spiked people" or Appeal to the crowd in the middle of a death match. She's cost me about half a dozen championships. She even told me to stand still during a title match! ARGH! She drives me crazy!

Badyoyo: I hear you.

Birby: I wish we could actually do something to defeat her.

Badyoyo: But how? She has Grubba making us work, and she has control over Survivor.

Flare: Sorry, I couldn't help but over hear you're conversation, but I watch Survivor, and Tubba Blubba's now the host. Jolene's a contestant.

ETFROXX: Oh lovely.

Back on the island.

Michael Tarver: Ok, that's the plan. And when the sun rises, we'll make sure it happens.

Birdo: I don't know if it will work.

Petey: It's going to work, or my name is Pippy!

Parakarry: Huh?

Petey: I couldn't think of any other names.

Rawk Hawk: Either way, I can't wait for morning where we RAWK Jolene's world into pieces

Day 32
Terrible Powers

Everyone wakes up like normal, but Parakarry is already out of his bed.

Parakarry: I can't take it anymore! I will break into that house!

Parakarry sneaks up to the log cabin

Petey: Should we stop him?

Rawk Hawk: Who cares? We have a challenge to go to!

The others leave, while Parakarry is still in the house, and Jolene is nowhere to be seen.

Jolene is seen strumming a guitar in front of a campfire.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: Hey buddy, I'm a Wrestling Show Host. That means I have to solve problems.....not things like " How do I get the crowd to like this guy?" because I let random Online Polls do that.

Parakarry is seen sneaking around the log cabin.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: I solve problems like, how am I going to get crazy mailmen who have Brooklyn accents out of my house?...The answer

Parakarry opens a box revealing a Bullet Bill Cannon.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner:......Is a cannon.

Parakarry runs out through the window he broke, the Bullet Bill misses him.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: And if that doesn't work.......

Bullet Bill Cannons pop out of the sand.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner:.....Use more Cannons.

Parakarry is seen running for his life, but the Bullet Bills catch up and blast him.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: Excuse me, I have a challenge to go to.

Reward Challenge
Rawk Hawk, Jolene, Birdo, Michael Tarver, and Petey walk over to a wrestling ring.

Tubba Blubba: Hi everyone! Today's challenge is going to be fun!

Rawk Hawk: HEY! That's my wrestling ring!

Tubba Blubba: Too bad, it's mine now!

Birdo: So what's today's challenge?

Tubba Blubba: First we have to wait for Parakarry.

A burned and bruised Parakarry is seen falling right into the middle of the ring.

Tubba Blubba: Here's how it works. You guys are going to beat the snot out of each other in this ring! If someone gets pinned down for 3 seconds they are eliminated from the match. You do this until there is only one person left in the ring. Want to know what you're playing for?

The 5 conscious people nod Tubba Blubba lifts up Rawk Hawk's belt.

Tubba Blubba: The championship of the Glitz Pit!

Rawk Hawk: HEY! That's my belt!

Tubba Blubba: Think of it as a title defence. Everyone in the ring!

The 5 get in the ring.

Tubba Blubba: Introducing first, from Toad Town, but sounds like Brooklyn.....Parakarry!

Parakarry:.....

Tubba Blubba: The girl from Glitzville who told me to rig the contest, but I'm going to make this a fair contest........Jolene!

Jolene:.....Say what?! I told you to rig the ring you imbecile!

Tubba Blubba: From Sub-Con! The determined girl will win battlist!.......Birdo!

Birdo: I don't think a girl has won the Glitz Pit Championship either. I'll bring honour to my gender if I win this battle!

Tubba Blubba: From Diamond City! It's that awesome transforming robot plant Lakitu thingy!.....Petey!

Petey: I'm with Birdo on this one, we're going to dominate and make history!

Tubba Blubba: From....Acorn?

Michael Tarver: Akron!

Tubba Blubba: From Akron Ohio........Michael Tarver!

Michael Tarver: Just wait for....Me, Michael Tarver to claim my first title belt in the Glitz Pit after this battle!

Tubba Blubba: And from Glitzville! He is the current Glitz Pit Champion!........RAWK HAWK!

Rawk Hawk: I'm going to RAWK! you all!

Tubba Blubba rings a bell.

DING DING DING!

Jolene immediatly dives for Parakarry, she pins him.

Tubba Blubba: ONE!...TWO!...THREE!

Tubba Blubba pulls Parakarry out of the ring.

Jolene: HA! YES!

The four remaining surround Jolene.

Jolene: Uh....

Michael Tarver: TARVER TUCK!

Michael Tarver bodyslams Jolene.

Jolene: OW!

Birdo: ATOMIC EGG!

Birdo launches an Atomic Egg at Jolene it explodes.

Petey: SUIT OFF!

Petey transforms into her Female Lakitu form.

Female Lakitu: Spiny Storm!

The Female Lakitu drops 48 spinies on Jolene.

Jolene: OW! OW! OW! OW!OW! ( Repeat "OW!" 43 more times) REF! This is unfair!
Tubba Blubba; Looks fair to me.

Rawk Hawk: Rawk Hawk!........Slide!

Rawk Hawk slides into Jolene knocking her into the air, when she lands. Michael Tarver pins her.

Tubba Blubba: ONETWOTHREE!

Tubba Blubba pulls Jolene out of the ring.

Rawk Hawk: Now that the annoyance is out of the way, time for you guys!

He starts tussling with Michael Tarver, while Female Lakitu and Birdo look at each other
Birdo: Okay you know the plan?

Female Lakitu: Yeah, attack the dominating guy until we're the only ones in the ring.

Birdo: Let's do this!

Female Lakitu: SPINY STOR-

Birdo was anticipating a backstab. Birdo spits an egg at Female Lakitu, making her fall down, and pinned her. A Shy Guy in black and white stripes comes over to them.

Ref Guy: ONE...TWO...THREE!

Tubba Blubba pulls Female Lakitu out of the ring.

Jolene: What's with the Shy Guy?

Tubba Blubba: Since I am the host now, I got him with some of the Glitz Pit money!

Jolene: WHAT?!

Tubba Blubba: Don't worry, Grubba gives discounts to fellow Clubbas.

Jolene: You're still an idiot!

Tubba Blubba glares at Jolene.

Rawk Hawk: Hello! Match going here!

Michael Tarver: TARVER-

Birdo hits Michael Tarver with an egg, he falls down.

Rawk Hawk: Thanks.

Rawk Hawk picks up Michael Tarver hoists him up in there air and drops him neck first on the ropes.

Rawk Hawk: Ladies first.

Birdo pins Michael Tarver.

Ref Guy: ONE...TWO...THREE!

Tubba Blubba pulls Michael Tarver out of the ring.

Birdo: Ha! What do you think about that? Tarver!

Rawk Hawk then quickly grabs Birdo from behind and hoists her up in the air.

Rawk Hawk: Kids, don't try this at home.

Rawk Hawk drops Birdo neck first on the ropes. She falls on her back. Rawk Hawk pins her.

Ref Guy: ONE...TWO...THREE!

Tubba Blubba pulls Birdo out of the ring.

Tubba Blubba: Here is your winner! And STILL Glitz Pit Champion!........RAWK HAWK!

Rawk Hawk poses.

Rawk Hawk: Oh yeah!

Tubba Blubba hands Rawk Hawk the belt Rawk Hawk hoists it into the air.

Rawk Hawk: Even when I'm not in the Glitz Pit I can still win!

Tubba Blubba: You all may go.

Terrible Powers leave.

Ref Guy: What about me?

Tubba Blubba: Uh, get a life I suppose.

Ref Guy leaves, probably somewhere with another wrestling ring.

Terrible Powers

Everyone sits down for dinner, and Jolene tries to go into her cabin, but she notices it's locked.

Jolene: Might as well get the key.

She reaches into her pocket, but notices it isn't there.

Jolene: What the?

???: Looking for these?

Parakarry sticks his head out of the cabin window, waving her keys.

Jolene: How did you get my keys?!

Parakarry: I pickpocketed you when you were out of the ring, now I'll finally eat like a king!

He closes the window before Jolene can get to it, and she starts banging on the window.

Jolene: Why did I have to get the bulletproof glass?

Rawk Hawk comes by her.

Rawk Hawk: He finally outsmarted you didn't he?

Jolene: Yup.

Rawk Hawk: Where's a battering ram when you need one?

Jolene: What?

Rawk Hawk: Well, if we had a battering ram, we could probably bash the door down.

Jolene: Where can you find a battering ram in a forest like this?

Rawk Hawk: Let's go find one.

Jolene and Rawk Hawk walk over to Petey

Jolene: Hey, Parakarry's hogging the log cabin. If you help us we'll "Share" it.

Petey:....Alright......but how do you we get in?

Rawk Hawk: Use your head.

The scene cuts to Jolene and Rawk Hawk running towards the door using Petey's head as a battering ram.

Petey: BUT I DON'T WANT TO USE MY HEAD!

Parakarry presses a button on the wall. A Bullet Bill Cannon pops up next to the door.

Parakarry: Come on in.

Parakarry opens the door Rawk Hawk charges in carrying Petey, but Parakarry has the bullet bill cannon launch a bullet bill on Jolene, she flies into a wall.

Parakarry: Now get out of our place!

Parakarry throws Jolene out of the Log Cabin, he turns around to see Rawk Hawk and Petey eating from the buffet table.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: What? A match takes a lot out of a wrestler.

Parakarry: HEY! That's mine!

Parakarry, Mailman: I was the one that stole from Jolene, so I should have that food.

Jolene reenters the Log Cabin.

Jolene: No, that's MINE!

Joene, Glitz Pit Owner: This Log Cabin was bought with paperwork signed by me. So everything in that Log Cabin belongs to me! Not them! Me!

Birdo goes to over to see what the commotion is about, she soon pieces together what happened.

Birdo: I believe I should get my fair share!

Birdo, Egg Seller: Lousy Rawk Hawk, I go into an alliance with him, and what happens? He leaves me for food! HMPH!

Michael Tarver finally comes over, and figure's out what's happening.

Michael Tarver: Excuse me, but I believe this place belongs to.....Me, Michael Tarver.

Rawk Hawk: I say we fight for it!

Birdo: No, fighting won't solve anything.

Parakarry: Birdo's right. I say we vote for one person to stay in this place, the rest stay out. However who ever gets the room must promise not to participate in the next immunity challenge. Capeesh?

Terrible Powers: Yes.

Parakarry: Now we need paper and pencils.

Rawk Hawk searches Jolene's closet and pulls out a pure white dress.

Rawk Hawk: This should do!

Jolene: No! That's my favourite sundress!

Rawk Hawk tears it into 6 equal parts, Jolene is devastated and cries, her eyeliner starts looking ugly.

Parakarry: Well it's gone now. What do we write with?

Birdo picks up some lipstick.

Birdo: How about this?

Jolene: No! That's my cherry flavoured lipstick! I need that!

Parakarry: Well you better hope you win the vote. Alright guys, you'll go one by one to Perry Pine. You can't vote for yourself, the cameraman will follow you to make sure you don't vote for yourself. We'll go in alphabetical order. Birdo, you go first.

Birdo goes to vote.

Birdo: Rawk Hawk, you don't deserve the food. So I guess I have to vote for this person.

Jolene goes to vote.

Jolene: You can have my food! Just stay out of the immunity challenge!

Michael Tarver goes to vote.

Michael Tarver: Since I can't vote for myself, I guess I have to vote for you.

Parakarry goes to vote, Petey goes to vote, Rawk Hawk goes to vote.

Parakarry: I'll tally the votes.

While Parakarry collects the votes, Jolene checks to see if there's any lipstick left. There isn't.

Parakarry: One vote Rawk Hawk.

Rawk Hawk: Yeah!

Parakarry: One vote Birdo

Birdo: Yes!

Parakarry: One vote Jolene.

Jolene: Yay!

Parakarry: Another vote Birdo

Birdo: Yeah!

Parakarry: Another vote for Jolene.

Jolene crosses her fingers.

Jolene: ( Come on, Come on)

Parakarry: The place belongs to.........Jolene.

Jolene: Yahoo!

Birdo: I demand a recount!

Jolene: I don't care! Out!

Jolene takes her whip and cracks it at the contestants they flee outside. Jolene lies on her bed.

Jolene: Ahhh.

Who voted for who?
Birdo: Jolene
Jolene: Rawk Hawk
Michael Tarver: Birdo
Parakarry: Jolene
Petey: Jolene

The rest of Terrible Powers are sitting out in the cold night.

Petey: This can't get any worse, right?

It then starts to rain.

Rawk Hawk: You jinxed us!

Jynx: Jynx?

Michael Tarver: I thought we got rid of you! TARVER TUCK!

Michael Tarver body slams Jinx.

Everyone goes to bed, but Rawk Hawk goes behind the camp and pulls out something he stole from Jolene. He reads the label on the thing.

Rawk Hawk: "Hypnomatic: Hypnotize your friends with a simple projection!"

Rawk Hawk rolls his eyes.

Rawk Hawk: Rigged.

He tosses the machine, and it lands near where everyone else is sleeping. Rawk Hawk then goes to bed with the others.

Rawk Hawk pulls out Jolene's guitar.

Rawk Hawk: Cool looking guitar.

Rawk Hawk starts rocking the guitar like it's a Electric Guitar. He starts playing his theme in PM2. This wakes up everybody.

Birdo: Shut up!

Parakarry: Yeah!

Michael Tarver: Let me handle this!

Michael Tarver takes the guitar and breaks it over Rawk Hawk's head. Then goes to sleep.

Petey: Thanks.

Birdo: What's this?

Birdo looks at the hypno ring.....nothing happens.

Birdo: Well....it looks nice at least.

Birdo puts the ring on.

Petey: Looks like this projector is here too. Is this the on switch?

Petey presses the switch, and a screen of swirls appears. The ring around Birdo glows a bit, then it knocks Birdo out and wakes up Michael Tarver

Michael Tarver: Uh, was that supposed to happen?

Petey: Maybe, but I'm not sure.

Michael Tarver: Leave her here, I'm going to get some blueberries, I'm starving!

Little did they know that the word "blueberries" was the the word Jolene used to activate the hypnosis on Bombette, and since Michael Tarver said it, Birdo wakes up in an odd trance.

Birdo: Jo...lene.

She goes off somewhere.

Petey: What's with her?

Michael Tarver: Don't know.

Earlier in Jolene's cabin...

Jolene is seen waking up from the banging of the guitar. She lifts her blindfold, removes her earplugs, and puts on some slippers. She looks out the window to see what happened.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: My Guitar! Oh Parakarry is so dieing next vote!

Jolene is about to leave the window but she sees that Birdo has been put under her spell accidentally.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: I don't whether to cheer because I have another girl under my wing. Or frown because she has control over my ring. And I had that since Chapter three of PM2!

*Flashback*

Jolene is putting on the ring, she ordered it from Kamek via "Eldorado: The best trading website in the Mushroom Kingdom's internet"

Jolene: Let's see, I hope this works, this cost me 6 months of my salary.

Jolene puts the ring on.

Ring: Initiate password.

Jolene: What password?

Ring: "Password" cannot be password?

Jolene: Ah.

Ring: Password must be a noun.

Jolene begins to think and gets nothing. She starts eating some Blueberries.

Jolene: Mmm, these blueberries are great!

Ring: Password set.

Jolene: Huh?......Dang.

*End Flashback*

Jolene: I've been using that thing to convince people I'm nice for a long time! I have to get Birdo!

Jolene runs into her changing room and changes from her Nightie to her bikini and sandals.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: Let's do this!

Jolene runs to the door, opens it, and starts shivering from the cold night air.

Jolene: Actually....

Jolene runs back into her changing room to change into a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: NOW! Let's do this.

Jolene runs out the door and into the forest.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?

Jolene slips on some mud and falls back first into a mud puddle.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: That's right, I forgot to put on my tennis shoes.

Jolene gets up. She takes out a flashlight and compact out her shirt pocket.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: Ugh, I look horrible in all this mud......stop filming me!

Back at Terrible Powers.

Parakarry:......So are we going to do anything?

Rawk Hawk: I'll go find her.

Rawk Hawk runs into the forest to find Birdo, he spots a glare of light from Jolene's Flashlight, he runs in that direction.

Rawk Hawk: Birdo!......Birdo!

Michael Tarver: So......now what do we do?

Petey: Let's see the immunity challenge is today. So.....I say we get our rest.

Parakarry: She's right.

Michael Tarver: Okay, night.

Parakarry: Night.

The three go off to sleep, well Michael Tarver is faking his own snoring, he leaves to go find some blueberries in the forest.

Michael Tarver, Professional Wrestler: Dang am I hungry.

Meanwhile Birdo is still in her trance, she walks around Forever Forest and eventually reaches Jolene who's putting on Make up to get the mud off her face and hair.

With Rawk Hawk...

While Rawk Hawk was heading towards Jolene and Birdo, he hears some conversation between the two. Deciding he didn't want to be seen, he hides near some bushes.

Jolene: It seems another person got my ring huh? Well, the more slaves the better.

Birdo: I...serve...you...Jolene.

Jolene: Here's what I want you to do.

She then explains some things for Birdo to do, and Rawk Hawk makes note of each of them. When it looked safe enough, he leaves the scene.

Rawk Hawk: So that's what that machine did.

He rushes through the trees, only to bump into Michael Tarver.

Michael Tarver: Dang it Rawk Hawk, you made me spill some blueberries!

Rawk Hawk: It doesn't matter right now, I have to head back to camp!

He rushes away.

Michael Tarver: Geez, what's his problem?

Michael Tarver is heading more into the forest, it gets a little too dark for him to see. So he picks up a glowing mushroom to use as a flashlight. Little does Tarver know that he's heading in the same direction of Birdo and Jolene.

Meanwhile Rawk Hawk returns to the campsite.

Rawk Hawk: Guys, we need to do something!

Parakarry: What?

Rawk Hawk: Jolene has a plan and she's using that ring Birdo found to hypnotize us! Here's what she's trying to do with Birdo!

*Flashback*

Jolene: Now Birdo, I don't want you to participate in the next challenge, while I win immunity. Then, I want you to vote for Parakarry. Got it?

Birdo: Yes, Jolene.

Jolene: Good. Now go off!

*End Flashback*

Parakarry: What?!

Petey: That's horrible!

Rawk Hawk: We need to band together and get rid of Jolene the best possible!

Petey: Eating her?

Rawk Hawk: No.

Parakarry: Force her to reveal her most private secrets on National TV?

Rawk Hawk:.....Tempting, but no. We'll do it in a democratic way. We vote her out! All we need is for her to lose the immunity challenge!

Petey: But Tubba' the host, he'll let her win!

Rawk Hawk: Not if we have something to say about it.

Meanwhile Michael Tarver is in the forest. He bumps into Birdo who's still hypnotized.

Michael Tarver: Hey Birdo

Birdo: * Flat Tone still* Hello Michael Tarver. Would you like an alliance?

Michael Tarver looks at Birdo to see if she's okay. He wouldn't offer him an alliance just like that.

Michael Tarver:.....Sure

Birdo: * Flat tone* Good, we shall vote off Parakarry.

Michael Tarver thinks about it. He never really liked Parakarry, and since Lakitu's gone. He has no one else to get rid of.

Michael Tarver: Deal!

Michael Tarver and Birdo shake hands.

Michael Tarver: Let's head back to camp.

The two head back to camp. Before heading off to bed, Michael Tarver eats one of his blueberries to make sure they weren't too sour.

Michael Tarver: Not bad, but these blueberries will have to do.

He goes to bed, but when he said "blueberries" Birdo snaps out of her trance, since it's the activation phrase.

Birdo: Uh, what just happened? I don't remember much, but I better get to bed.

She falls asleep.

The next morning...

Waking up, Parakarry feels hungry, so he eats some berries Michael Tarver found. At that time, everyone else wakes up.

Parakarry: These are not half bad!

Michael Tarver: Hey, those are my blueberries!

Cue Birdo getting hypnotised again.

Birdo: Jo...lene.

She walks away.

Michael Tarver: What the?! All I did was accuse Parakarry of stealing my blueberries.

The mention of the word Blueberries makes Birdo snap out of her trance.

Birdo: Huh?

Michael Tarver: Ok, something's definitely up with you.

Rawk Hawk: Well we know why at least.

Birdo: What?

Parakarry: Jolene has control over you.

Birdo: HOW?!

Petey: The mere mention of the word.

Petey holds up a blueberry.

Petey: Will send you into a slave like state.

Birdo: NO!

Rawk Hawk: And he wants you to vote out Parakarry at Tribal Council.

Birdo: NO! I won't do it!

Michael Tarver: I won't either!

Rawk Hawk: Good, from now on. No one says that word. And make sure Jolene doesn't say that word.

Terrible Tribe goes to sleep, meanwhile Jolene sneaks into her Log Cabin.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner: Ah, the big plan is set in place. First I get rid of Parakarry, then the human, then Petey, Rawk Hawk and I convince Birdo to give up and give me that money. HA! This game is mine!

Jolene changes into a nightie and goes to bed snickering.

The next morning...

Everyone wakes up in front of Tubba Blubba.

Rawk Hawk: What's going on?

Tubba Blubba: I thought it would be nice to start the challenge now instead of later due to money issues.

Michael Tarver: What money issues?

Tubba Blubba: Ref Guy needed some money to do his job of becoming a battling referee, so I gave him some money to start his career. Also, he said that the winning referee gets to go to a big blueberry festival!

Everyone smacks their forehead, knowing Birdo was going into a hypnotic trance with that word.

Jolene: Don't worry, I'll be competing too!

Parakarry: Wait, you said you weren't going to participate because you got your cabin back!

Jolene: Well I lied! I'm known to break promises, you know.

Parakarry frowns, knowing to never trust her again.

Birdo: Chal...lenge...

Tubba Blubba: Oh yeah, the challenge...

Tubba Blubba hands Jolene a notice.

Jolene: What's this?

Tubba Blubba: I've quit my job, I heard what you think of me and I hate the way you treat me, and I refuse to help you anymore!

Jolene can't believe it.

Jolene: WHAT?! NO!

Tubba Blubba: In addition, N. Gin, Ella, and Blueytroopa are taking over.....again.

The three walk over.

Tubba Blubba: Good-bye to you five-

Tubba Blubba looks at Jolene.

Tubba Blubba: And good-riddance to you!

Tubba Blubba jumps into the forest, Jolene watches as her easy win jumps away.

Parakarry: Well there goes a man who looks like a blueberry.

Birdo snaps out of her trance.

Parakarry, Mailman: Good, now that she's out of the way. We can have a nice fair challenge.

Birdo: Ok, let's do this!

N. Gin: It's good to be back!

Ella: Oh, and we got this notice from Tubba Blubba.

Blueytroopa: Jolene won't participate in this challenge. Every other challenge is fair game.

Jolene: NO!

Jolene whacks the sand.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: We just RAWKed her....and we didn't really do anything!

N. Gin: Anyway, here's the challenge....

Ella: You guys ever played dodge ball before?

Everyone raises their hand.

Blueytroopa: How about with BOMBS?

Everyone but Birdo puts her hand down.

Birdo:.....What? I play it with Mouser all the time.

N. Gin: This challenge is Bob-omb dodgeball. The rules are simple, if a bomb explodes in your face, you lose. Last one standing wins!

Ella proceeds to put a basket full of Bob-ombs in the middle of the playing field.

Blueytroopa: Ready...GO!

Michael Tarver, Rawk Hawk, and Petey immediately dive for the bombs, while Parakarry and Birdo remain where they are to go on the defensive.

She sneaks over to Birdo, and whispers the word blueberries to her, causing her to get hypnotised again.

Jolene: Now, ignore what I said about losing this challenge, I want you to win this! Besides, you are a karate master, and karate masters have good reflexes.

Birdo's eyes turn completely white, and then she gets in a fighting pose.

Birdo: HIYYYAA!

She dodges the incoming bombs, grabs a few, then starts hurling them at a very fast pace. Jolene snickered when Rawk Hawk barely managed to avoid one of Birdo's bombs.

Rawk Hawk: Whoa, I didn't know she could throw bombs that fast!

N. Gin: To make it more challenging.....we'll do this!

N. Gin press a button and the playing field splits into 5 equal triangles over a pit, each side only having one Bob-omb.

Ella: If you fall in the pit, you lose, those platforms can crumble away if hit with enough Bob-ombs.

Blueytroopa: And, these Bob-ombs regenerate at one of the very edges.

Petey is seen fumbling with his Bob-omb. Rawk Hawk takes advantage and throws his Bob-omb at Petey's giant head.

N. Gin: You're out!

Rawk Hawk: One opponent RAWKED! Four to go!

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: My plan when I first saw the challenge was to eliminate all Terrible Tribe members first, Birdo included, that way my battle against Parakarry will RAWK!

Micheal Tarver: This for spoiling my title!

Michael Tarver throws a Bob-omb at Rawk Hawk hitting him in the back.

Rawk Hawk: YOW!

Ella: You're out!

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: That plan didn't last long.

Michael Tarver: Oh yeah!

Birdo: Tar....ver

Michael Tarver: Yeah? WOAH!

Birdo throws a Bob-omb right into Tarver's chest. He's startled and fumbles with it, it explodes in his face.

Blueytroopa: You're out!

Jolene: ( Whispering) Yes!

However Parakarry takes advantage of the slightly distracted Birdo and throws a Bob-omb at her feet, making her and platform fall into the pit before she can react.

N. Gin, Ella, and Blueytroopa: You're out! Parakarry wins immunity!

Parakarry: Yeah!

Jolene: ( Whispering) Dang it!

N. Gin: Here is the immunity necklace.

N. Gin gives Parakarry the Lumaris necklace.

Ella: The rest of you are fair game for elimination.

Blueytroopa: We'll see you tonight at Tribal Council.

Due to Jolene still being the host, she cut some portions of the film. We are now at Tribal Council where The six remaining members of Terrible Powers are sitting down and so are the three jury members; Bow, Koops, and Lakitu.

N. Gin: Wow, that was some speech you made Petey. You really can't trust anyone here.

Ella: I feel sorry for anyone that missed it.

Blueytroopa: After that, go vote. Rawk Hawk you're up first.

Jolene whispers to Birdo and puts her back into her hypnotic state. Rawk Hawk goes to vote.

Rawk Hawk: You're RAWKed up! Time for you to go.

Parakarry goes to vote, Petey goes to vote.

Petey: This just seems like the most logical choice.

Michael Tarver goes to vote, Jolene goes to vote.

Jolene: Parakarry got immunity, so I told Petey to vote for Michael Tarver.

Birdo goes to vote.

N. Gin: I'll go tally the votes.

N. Gin leaves and comes back as dramatic music plays.

N. Gin: First vote......Michael Tarver

Michael Tarver: Me?

N. Gin: Second vote......Michael Tarver

Michael Tarver: What?

N. Gin: Third vote........Petey

Petey: Huh?

N. Gin: Fourth vote....Jolene

Jolene nods

N. Gin: Fifth vote......Rawk Hawk

Rawk Hawk nods.

N. Gin: Final vote......Jolene....We have a tie. Michael Tarver please state why you should stay.

Michael Tarver: Not only do I deserve to win more than her, but she's annoying. I'll let everyone live in the log cabin, but only if you vote for her, and not.....Me, Michael Tarver.

Jolene: Look I'm sorry, just don't vote me out.

N. Gin: Revote!

Rawk Hawk goes to vote.

Rawk Hawk: I'm not sure who voted for me. But I know who I'm voting for.

Petey goes to vote.

Petey:...Yeah, feels like the right choice.

Parakarry goes to vote. Birdo goes to vote.

Birdo: Tar....ver.

N. Gin:...I'll retally the votes.

N. Gin leaves and comes back as the dramatic music returns.

N. Gin: First vote....Michael Tarver.

Michael Tarver: NO!

N. Gin: Second vote......Jolene.

Jolene: *Sigh*

N. Gin: Third vote......Jolene

Jolene: Dang....

N. Gin: Eleventh person voted out of Survivor 2: The REAL Deal and the fourth person on our jury.......Jolene.

Jolene: To quote Axem Green in another Fun Fiction....."@#@##@!@@!"!

N. Gin: Please hand me your torch.

Jolene hands N. Gin her torch, he extinguishes it in the sand.

Ella: Please whack the person responsible.

Jolene cracks her stick on Parakarry's nose.

Parakarry: OW!

Blueytroopa: And get in the cannon.

Jolene enters the cannon, Terrible Powers leave.

N. Gin, Ella, and Blueytroopa: Jolene the tribe has spoken.

Jolene, Glitz Pit Owner, On Being Voted Out: I hate Terrible Powers!......But my plan is still set. Hehehe. Hahaha....Muhahahaha!

Who voted for who?
Birdo: Michael Tarver ( Told to by Jolene) Michael Tarver ( Same)
Jolene: Michael Tarver ( Parakarry had immunity)
Michael Tarver: Petey ( Thought Petey was a threat with his kindness)
Parakarry: Jolene ( Tried to vote him out) Jolene ( Same)
Petey: Rawk Hawk ( A threat with his strength) Jolene ( Annoying)
Rawk Hawk: Jolene ( Just an overall annoyance) Jolene ( Same)

Meanwhile in Forever Forest.

Bombette is walking through the forest still hypnotized.

Bombette: Jol..ene.

???: Okay, Sis, toss in some Blueberries.

Bombette awakes from her hypnotic state.

Bombette: Huh?

???: Hey Sis, look, It's Bombette.

Bombette: Who are you two?

???: Doesn't my voice remind you of someone?

Bombette: This is text.

???: True.......Sis, speak to the girl.

Sister of ???: UGUH!

Bombette: Ah, hi Marilyn, hi Beldam......Beldam!

Beldam and Marilyn are seen around a fire making some kind of stew.

Beldam: Hello Bombette......Don't be afraid, I only hurt allies of Mario from TTYD. Come on, you have to be exhausted after what Jolene did to you.

Marilyn: Guh!

Bombette: Huh? What did Jolene do?

Beldam: Hypnotized you, she kicked you out and replaced her. Marilyn here snuck out a radio from her old camp. We've been listening since episode 4.

Bombette: WHAT?!  HYPNOTIZED ME?!

Beldam: Yeah, stop saying what happened after we've already said it. This isn't that stupid Airbender movie.

Bombette:....AH! I hate her!

Beldam: So do we.

Marilyn: GUH GUH!

Bombette: You two have to help me! I'm just a fuseless Bob-omb, I want revenge!

Beldam and Marilyn look at each other and shrug.

Beldam: Alright, we'll do it.....But first we'll need a plan.

Meanwhile at the Glitz Pit

Tenacious B starts walking in circles wondering what to do.

Flare: Hey! Listen to this!

Flare shows Tenacious B a radio, it explains what happened.

Badyoyo: Finally she's gone!

Birby: Now we can leave!

ETFROXX: Let's get out of this place!

Tenacious B head for the door, a security guard blocks their way.

Guard: No way bub! You have a match next episode.....Against Macho Grubba himself! He doesn't want you to leave.......ever.

Read on!


 
Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.