The Amazing Race MK III

By Giga Bowser NS

Episode 11
Title: Uh oh! This is gonna be hilarious!

Phil: Previously on The Amazing Race MK!

Phil: Five teams launched themselves across the cosmos to the Slipsand Galaxy! Despite Hammer Bro breaking his arm, the Partners continued to race strong, staying in first place for half of the leg. A spectacular Roadblock was no problem for anyone

Birdo: Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Phil: And the Detour went by fairly quickly. However, there was a surprise waiting at the end.

Raz: U-Turn!

Phil: And the married couple U-Turned Birdo & Mouser. Unfortunately, Hammer Bro. & Boomerang Bro. had difficulty climbing up the large blocks of the immense pyramid. They were passed by all of the teams… and were eliminated… Four teams remain… Who will be eliminated… next?

The opening plays with a new Red “X” on Hammer Bro. & Boomerang Bro.

Phil: This is the Slipsand Galaxy! A fantastic collection of sandy planets and strange creatures! And at the heart of this spectacular extraterrestrial location is this immense pyramid. At the summit of this behemoth was the ninth Pit Stop in a race around the MK! Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period. The elimination of Hammer Bro. & Boomerang Bro. is fresh on everyone’s mind

***Raz: You never know what’s going to happen on this race

***Birdo: You have to be on your toes!

Phil: Raz & Raini… are the first to depart.


Raz: Launch yourselves back to the planet! Once you have returned to the Mushroom Kingdom Airport, fly to the Nove Tundra. (Note: Pronounced No-vay)

Phil: Teams must now return to the planet and fly to the Nove Tundra, the fifth place Mario & Luigi visited when Bowser Jr. recently kidnapped Princess Peach, and the third place the Bros. with their Toad friends visited on a subsequent journey. Once they arrive, teams must climb to the top of this icy hill to get their next clue.

Raz: Aww, our space journey is over!

Raini: That’s okay! I miss our planet! Let’s go!

***Raz: We’re racing hard, and we never want to stop! We want to keep going and going!

***Raini: On the last leg, we used the U-Turn. We don’t feel sorry, because it’s a part of the game. We want to do everything possible to help us win!

Raz: This is gonna be a long flight through space!

Raini: Haha! It’s okay! I love Launch Stars! Let’s go!

They hop in the launch star and fly across the stars.

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bombette: Oh wow! A snowy place!

Bruce: Oh man… Gonna be cold!

Bombette: Well, let’s go! Our lovely space vacation is coming to a close!

***Bombette: We feel good! We’re in the final four!

***Bruce: We didn’t expect to come this far. Well, we did. We expect to win! But it’s still a pleasant surprise!

Bombette: Here we go!

They launch.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Back to zee planet! Oh boy!

Madame: A place with snow? Oh my!!

***Monsieur: We are progressing in leaps and bounds! We are being successful in zee race, and I zink we are growing closer to each ozer too!

Monsieur: Are you ready?

Madame: Oui, oui!!

They launch.

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Let’s go to the Nove Tundra!

Mouser: Aw man… It’s gonna be freezing cold…

Birdo: Don’t fret!

***Birdo: On the last leg… we were U-Turned. But we managed to survive because of Hammer Bro.’s broken arm…We feel very lucky, but at the same time, we’re not sure how the other teams are gonna view us now…

***Mouser: It’s going to get interesting!

Birdo: You ready for an adventure?

Mouser: Let’s go!

They launch.

A camera zooms into the Planet at high speed.
Everyone is going about their business.

Raz & Raini: WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Customers: ???

They land.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Well, we’re back!

Raini: Home sweet planet!

Raz: Let’s get going! The others will be right behind us!

Raz: Hi! Do you fly to Nove Tundra?

Clerk: We might…Hang on…

Raz: We need to be on the quickest flight. Can you check other airlines too? It would really help us out…

Clerk: You might be able to get on Far North Air…They connect through Mushroom City and arrive at 10:50 AM…

Raini: Oh wow, that sounds perfect!

Clerk: You will only have one half hour to connect in Mushroom City though.

Raini: Wait, what?

Raz: That’s pretty short…

Clerk: Alternatively you could take our direct flight. We arrive at 11:10 AM.

Raz: It’s twenty minutes… That’s a lot in this race…

Raini: Yeah, but if we miss the connection then a 20-minute lead could become an hour or more behind…

Raz: Hmm…

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
They land.

Bombette: We’re here! Wowww!!!

Bruce: We’re off to a frozen wonderland!

Bombette: The Toads are over there at Icy Air

Bruce: Hey!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: We’re getting on this flight. There’s another flight that’s 20 minutes ahead, but the connection is too short.

Raini: It’s only a half hour.

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Yeah, that’s not good. Especially since you never know what could happen with airlines.
Clerk: Here you are.

Raz/Raini -- NewlywedsSecond Flight
Raz: Thanks a lot!

Clerk: You’re welcome! Enjoy your flight!
Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Hi! Can we have the same flight please?

Clerk: Certainly.

Bruce: All right! We’re set!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly DatingSecond Flight

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Let’s go! ‘urry!!

Madame: Look! Far North Air, let’s go!

Monsieur: Oui! Zey will probably ‘ave zee fastest flight!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Oh, the Broques are here. Looks like they might try for the tight connection.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Bonjour! Do you ‘ave a flight to zee Nove Tundra?

Clerk: Yes we do! It arrives at 10:50 AM.

Monsieur: Zat sounds perfect!

Clerk: It connects in Mushroom City. You will have a half hour to connect.

Monsieur: Hmm…

Madame: I zink we can make zat!

Monsieur: You zink so?

Both: …

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
They land.

Birdo: There’s the Broques over there! Go get what they’re doing!

***Birdo: When we’re at an airport, we decided to follow the Broques. They’re usually good with flights.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Madame: Mouser ees ‘ere!

Monsieur: D’accord, d’accord! (Okay, okay!) Let’s buy zem! An ‘alf hour is plenty of time!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated CoupleFirst Flight
Monsieur: Trés bon! (Very good!)

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Hi! Can we have two tickets?

Clerk: Why certainly!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best FriendsFirst Flight
Mouser: Thanks a lot!

Birdo: Looks like we’re on the first flight!

Mouser: Yeah… How’d that happen?

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Well, they might be ahead… but they might be behind…. You never know…

Raini: Yeah…

First Flight - Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame, Birdo/Mouser
The flight takes off.

Second Flight - Raz/Raini, Bombette/Bruce
The flight takes off.

Phil: All four teams are now on one of two flights to the Nove Tundra!

First Flight
Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Go! Go! Allez! (Go!)

Madame: We are late!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Come on!! Run faster!

Birdo: I AM running faster!

***Mouser: Our flight landed like 5 minutes late. That isn’t very much, but because of our tight connection…it was trouble.

Mouser: This way!

*Shot of the engines powering up*

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Allo! We’re ‘ere!

Clerk: Do you have boarding passes?

Monsieur: Non! We need zem right now! Zee flight is leaving!

Clerk: …

Both: …

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Wait for us!

Clerk: Here you are. You’re late, so hurry!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Merci! Merci!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Hey! We need ours too! Please!

Clerk: I’m not even sure if those two will make it. It’s a very slim chance for you!

Mouser: We’ll run! We’ll run faster than we’ve ever run before!

The flight takes off.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Both: *smile*

There is a snowstorm.
First Flight
Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Madame: OH MON DIEU!!! C’EST FROID!!! (IT'S COLD!!!)

Monsieur: Oui… Wow! Eet’s quite a storm!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Oh gosh… We should just give up now! Ugh…

Mouser: Man, that’s cold!

Birdo: There’s the clue up there!
Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Oh zey see eet! I’ll go get zee clue!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Go, Mouser!

Mouser: Ack! Slippery!!

Birdo: Be careful!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Madame: Go!

Monsieur: Eet ees ‘ard to climb! Eet’s slippery! Wow!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Heh! C’mon, ya old Block! You can make it!

Monsieur: ‘ey!

Mouser: *slips* Geez! Don’t wanna fall…

Birdo: Hold on!

Mouser: I’ve got it! Don’t worry!


Birdo: Bring it down!

Mouser: Right, sorry! WHEEEEEE!

Birdo: Haha! Detour!

Phil: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons! In this Detour, teams must choose between Mushrooms and Snails. In Mushrooms, teams make their way to this gorge and cross to the other side using these yellow and orange Mushrooms. These strange Mushrooms move when stepped on. The yellow ones will move downward, while the orange ones move upwards. Teams must make sure they do not create an impossible jump, AND avoid Bullet Bills. Once safely across, they’ll receive their next clue. In Snails, teams make their way to this icy field, where there are many Snailicorns. Teams must fight against one of these and defeat it. What they don’t know is that Snailicorn shells are indestructible, and the only way to defeat them is to shove them off of a ledge. Once defeated, the guide will give teams their next clue.

Birdo: Umm… What do you think?

Mouser: We can do the Mushrooms!

Birdo: I guess so! Okay!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: I got eet!

Madame: Bon!! (Good!!)


Monsieur: Detour…

Madame: Can we beat zee snails?

Monsieur: I zink so! Let’s go!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Taxi!!!

They get in one.

Birdo: Oh, man… Good to be out of that storm!

Mouser: It is crazy out there! Okay, we need to go here!

Cabbie: No problem!

Mouser: Please go fast! But not too fast! It’s slippery here!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Taxi?

Madame: ‘Ere ees one!


Monsieur: Allez-vous!! (Go!!)

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Man, look at this storm!! This is nuts!

Birdo: I can hardly see! Please be careful, sir!

Mouser: This is nuts…

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Zee ozer flight will be ‘ere soon, so we need to ‘urry!

Madame: Oui!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Is this it? Oh, look at the Mushrooms!

Mouser: Wow! Okay, stop!

They get out.

Mouser: Okay, let’s do this right.

Birdo: So these things move when you step on- WHOA! Yikes!

Mouser: Jump!

Birdo: Gah!! This one’s moving up now!

Mouser: Yeah! You gotta keep going!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Oh! We are ‘ere!

The taxi stops, sliding a bit on the ice.

Monsieur: Whoa!! Careful!

Madame: Okay… Zee snails…

Monsieur: Let’s just pound on zem! Come on!

Second Flight
Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raini: Woo! Come on!

Raz: We might be behind! Let’s race as if we are!

*Shot of snowstorm*

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Holy cow, it’s freezing…

Bruce: This is nuts! The snow is coming down so thick! I can hardly see anything!

Bombette: Come on! There’s the clues up on that hill!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Go get it, girl! You got it!

Raini: Whoa… This is slippery…

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Don’t slip!

Bruce: Don’t worry!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Come ‘ere! I will smack you again! Haaa!!


Madame: Eet keeps ‘iding in eet’s shell! Zat shell ees tough!

Monsieur: Oui… I’m not sure we can break eet…

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raini slides back down.

Raini: There’s only two clues up there! The others are here!


Raz: We’ll do the Mushrooms!

Raini: Cool!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Detour…

Bruce: Mushrooms… We’re good at jumping.

Bombette: Great!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Watch out!!
Birdo: Whoooaaa! Waaahh!!

***Birdo: That was pretty crazy! The Mushrooms were moving all over the place and there were Bullet Bills flying around!

Birdo: Gaaahhh!

Mouser: Get over there! Quick!

***Birdo: Totally nuts.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Both: …

Snailicorn: …

Monsieur: Zat is a tough shell…

Madame: I zink we ‘ave to find anozer way to beat eet…

Monsieur: Oui…

Madame: Zis ees tough…

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Great job, Birdo! Keep going!

Birdo: It’s so hard to see in this storm! And it’s so cold!

Mouser: Don’t stop! Keep moving!

Birdo: I know!

Mouser: We’re almost there! We’re almost done!!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Both: *Scared faces*

***Raz: Riding a taxi around that icy place…

***Raini: It was pretty scary!

Raz: Okay! That’s the spot!


Both: Waaaaahhh!!!

Raz: Oh gosh….That was terrifying…

Raini: Here’s the Mushrooms. Do you see any teams?

Raz: R’ini, I can barely see the Mushrooms.

Raini: Heh… Let’s get going then!

***Raz: Jumping on those moving Mushrooms was kinda fun!

Raz: Wooo!! Down we go!! And over here! Hahaa!! This is cool!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Both: …

Monsieur: Can we pick eet up and throw eet?

Madame: Go try!

Snailicorn: …

Monsieur: Okay… ’Ere I go…

The Snailicorn quickly dashes away.

Monsieur: Wah?! ‘ey! Come back ‘ere!

Madame: Wow… ’E ees fast!

Monsieur: Grrr… Zis ees frustrating… ’Ow do we beat zis zing?

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: That was the worst taxi experience ever

Bruce: Look! I can just barely see Raz & Raini up there!

Bombette: Cool! Let’s get jumping!

***Bombette: The Mushrooms were no problem! We’re expert jumpers!

Bombette: Just pay attention for Bullet Bills!

Bruce: No prob!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raini: Raz, duck!

Raz: Whoa!!

Raini: Watch out for Bullet Bills!!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: I think I hear teams behind us….

Birdo: Aw, man!

Mouser: Look! There’s the end!! Go, go, go!

Birdo: I got it! I got it!

Mouser: Duck!

Birdo: Waaahhh!

Mouser: Gotta be careful! Hahaha!

Birdo: Okay! One last jump!

She jumps and lands, but slips in the snow.

Birdo: Waah!

Mouser: Hahaha!! Nice!

Birdo: Blueah… C’mon! Hurry up!

Mouser: I’m here! Don’t worry!

Mouser gets off the last Mushroom.

Mouser: All right! Awesome!


Mouser: Travel by taxi to the Tower!

Phil: Teams must now travel by taxi to this imposing building, the Nove Tundra Tower! Once inside, they will receive their next clue from this Ice Bro.

Mouser: Cool! Taxi!!

Birdo: Another taxi ride? Ugh!


Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Both: …………

Snailicorn: …………

Monsieur: I’m stumped!

Snailicorn: *snickers*

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Careful, hon! I got it!

Raini: Whoaaaa!! These are fun, but also scary!

***Raini: We worked pretty hard to cross those Mushrooms!

***Raz: Yeah, but the Bombs were coming up behind us quickly!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Woo!! Woooo!!!

Bruce: Watch out for the Bullets! You don’t wanna blow up!

Bombette: Yeah! That would stink!

Bruce: Go! Woo!!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: I think we’re past halfway! We’re doing excellent!

Raini: Woo! This is fun!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Wait….wait…

Madame: What?

Monsieur: Look… Maybe we can shove ‘im off zat edge!

Madame: You mean… like, push ‘im off?

Monsieur: Okay….just like…run into ‘im!

Madame: Okay!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Driving in this place is scary!

Birdo: You got that right! It’s hard to see out of the windshield!

Mouser: Yeah… This storm is not letting up, is it?

Cabbie: Okay, no problem!

Both: ……

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Wooo!! Great job, R’ini!

Raini: Wah! Stupid Bullet…

Raz: We’re inches from the finish! Just on this Mushroom, wheeeeeee!!

Raini: Whoa! Whoa!

Raz: And I’m done! Come on, hon!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsider: Oui! Take zat!

Madame: Haaa Oof!

Snailicorn: Waaah…

Monsieur: Oui! Just a beet more! We will win!

Madame: Okay…

Monsieur: Go!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Great job! That was awesome!

Raini: Woo!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Snailicorn: Wugh… WAAAAHHHH *Falls off*

Monsieur: Haha! Take zat!

Madame: Ees zat eet? Did we go eet?

Guide: Yes! Here is your clue!

*Riiiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiip*
Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Take a taxi to…

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Zee Nove Tundra Tower!

All: Let’s go!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: I think we’re in last…

Bruce: Don’t worry! We’re almost there!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: Whoa! Nice tower!

Mouser: C’mon! Let’s go inside!

They step inside.

Mouser: Oh, it’s WARM in here! Please tell me the Roadblock is here!

Birdo: Wow! This is neat!

Ice Bro: Here is your clue!

Birdo: Thanks man!


Mouser: Wh- Wow! It’s another Detour!

Birdo: What?!

Phil: For the first time in Amazing Race history, teams will be facing two Detours in the same leg! In this Detour, teams must choose between Light or Dark. In Light, teams will travel to this icy plateau, where they will find some Penguin Suits. They must put these on, and then slide across the ice, over this jump, and through this skinny passage. Once on the other side, they must freeze Bullet Bills with ice balls to climb to their next clue. In Dark, teams will make their way to this icy underground cavern. They must traverse to the end of the cavern while avoiding enemies and large icicles. Once at the end, they will find their next clue!

Mouser: Hmm…

Birdo: I don’t think I’d do so well sliding around in a Penguin Suit…

Mouser: Yeah, me neither. We’ll do Dark!

Birdo: Let me guess. Taxi?

Mouser: Yup! Heh heh heh…

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bruce: Great job! We made it!

Bombette: That was kinda fun!


Bombette: Nove Tower!

Bruce: Cool! Let’s get a taxi, quick!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: So, sir! You know where this cave is right?

Cabbie: Yup!

Mouser: Okay, please go quickly!

Birdo: But not too quickly! Jeez, how long is this storm?!

Mouser: I know… It’s nuts!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Ah, warm in a taxi again!

Bruce: This storm is CRAZY! Okay, Nove Tundra Tower, please?

Cabbie: No problem!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: There it is! Wow! Nice tower!

Raini: Let’s go!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Ees zat zee tower?

Madame: Zat’s eet! Let’s go!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Hey, Bro! Wazzup?


Raz: Another Detour? Whoa…

Raini: Let’s do the Penguin one! It sounds fun!!!

Raz: Haha, okay!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: ‘Ere are zee Toads! ‘urry!

Madame: Oui!


Monsieur: Anozer Detour?

Madame: What?

Monsieur: I don’t zink we can do zee Penguins one… I don’t zink we can fit zrough zee small opening.

Madame: I guess you’re right! Let’s go!

Monsieur: D’accord! Taxi!


Monsieur: I ‘ave to ‘and eet to zese taxi drivers! I could never drive in conditions like zis!

Madame: Oui… Ees quite a storm!

They drive off.

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: This the place?

Birdo: I think so! Look! Big cave!

*Shot of the cave*

Birdo: Looks icy! It’s so dang cold here, I hate it!

Mouser: C’mon! It’ll be fine, let’s go!

Inside the cave there is a constant echo.

Mouser: Whoa! Look at that! This is kinda cool!

Birdo: Whoa!! You’re right! Those icy walls are sparkling!

Mouser: Haha! Let’s not dawdle! We wanna come in first, remember?

Birdo: Let’s get going!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: You’re an awesome taxi driver!

Raini: Were you, like, a grand prix racer before or something? You’re awesome!

Raz: Look! We’re here!

*Shot of the location*

Raz: Cool! Let’s jet!

Raini: These must be the Penguin Suits! Ugh, these look like a pain to get on…

She tries to pick one up, but when she touches it…

*Power up sound*

Raini: WAH! Uh… What happened?

Raz: *holding back laughter* It’s a powerup! Cool!

Raini: Whoaa… I’m a penguin..

Raz: Nice! *powers up* Let’s go!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: This isn’t so hard!

Birdo: Watch out for the Swoopers!

Mouser: Wah! Stupid bats!

Birdo: And watch out for the GIANT ICICLE!

Mouser: Huh? WAH!


Mouser: Whoa…… That thing is huge!

Birdo: Keep your eyes open!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Okay, we are doing good. I zink we are in second or zird…

Madame: Mhm.

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bruce: Detour!

Bombette: Don’t you mean Roadblock?

Bruce: No, another Detour! Haha!

Bombette: Oh… Weird…

Bruce: The Penguin one sounds fun!

Bombette: Think so? Okay, let’s do that one!

Bruce: Taxi!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Wheee! This is awesome!!

Raini: Whoooaaa!! Cool!

***Raz: It was so fun to slide along the ice like that! It was a blast!

Raz: Okay, here comes the skinny part! Keep low!

Raini: Got it!

Both: ….

***Raz: That was a little unnerving… We didn’t want to get stuck!

Raz: And we’re through!

Raini: Woo!! Keep going!

Raz: I’m cold, but I’m lovin’ it!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Birdo: What do we do now?

Mouser: I think we have to jump across the icicles!

Birdo: Will they stay? Won’t they fall?

Mouser: C’mon! We’ll be fine!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Both: …

*Slight swerve*

Monsieur: Whoa, garçon! (Whoa, guy!) Be careful, mon ami! (…my friend) We don’t want to crash!

Cabbie: Don’t you worry!

Madame: Zee snow ees getting worse! I can barely see out zee window!

Monsieur: Oui…

Madame: Zis ees a little scary… I mean, zere are-

Monsieur: LOOK OUT!


*Shot of the smashed car with the airbags deployed*

Monsieur: Come on, ma cherí! Out of zee car! Are you all right?

Madame: Ow… I’ll be fine… Just bruises…

Monsieur: Oh mon dieu…. I was afraid of zis…

Cabbie: *holds head* Ugh… Sorry, folks…

Monsieur: As long as we are all alive! *half-hearted chuckle*

Madame: Do you need anyzing from us, or can we go look for anozer taxi? We are in zee big rush!

Cabbie: No, go ahead… This ride’s on the house, heh…

***Monsieur: Zat made us fall be’ind a lot… but we didn’t care… We were just glad zat no one was ‘urt!

Monsieur: Taxi? Please ‘urry, we are freezing!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Is this the place? Oh, cool! I see a flag!

Bruce: Let’s get going!

They step out.

Bombette: Look at the Penguin Suits!

Bruce: Uh oh! This is gonna be hilarious!

They touch the suits and power up.

Bombette: …

Bruce: …


***Bombette: We looked like fat, angry birds. It was hilarious!

***Bruce: Haha, yeah!

Bombette: Well, c’mon! Let’s get sliding!

Bruce: Okay, three… two… one… WHEEE!!

***Bombette: But the sliding was awesome!

Bombette: Wooooo!!!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Okay, we’re in zee new taxi!

Madame: Please be careful! Zis snowstorm ees treacherous!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: C’mon, girl!

Birdo: I don’t want to slip and fall!

Mouser: You’ll be fine! C’mon!

Birdo: Whoa! Whoaaa….

Mouser: We’re in first! We don’t wanna fall behind! I really want to hear Phil say “Team Number one!!”

Birdo: Yeah, I know what you mean! Okay, I’m up! Let’s go!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Okay, here we are! There’s the clue up there!

Raini: Whoa! Bullet Bills!

Raz: Yeah. Now we’re supposed to throw iceballs!

Raini: How do we do that?

Raz: Like *throws one* this!

Raini: Haha, cool! Okay, wait for them to line up!

***Raz: We work really well together! We haven’t fought, and we always work efficiently! I can tell I made the right choice when I got married.

***Raini: Raz is spectacular. We’re a perfect fit!

Raz: Okay, hang on… You get the bottom one and I’ll get the top one!

Raini: Right!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Okay, ‘ere we are!

Madame: Wow! What a spectacular cave!

Monsieur: Let’s not dawdle! Let’s dive right in!

Madame: D’accord! Let’s do great!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Okay! Just up there! I can see the clues!

Birdo: That looks slippery!

Mouser: Don’t worry! C’mon, we’ll make it!

Birdo: Don’t rush me, I’m coming!

Mouser: Okay, we’re doing great girl! C’mon!

***Birdo: It’s been so long since he called me a dude! Wow!

Mouser: Woo! We’re on a roll!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: There! They’re frozen, go!

Raini: Okay!

***Raini: So I jumped up on the frozen Bullet Bills that were hovering in the sky…

***Raz: Yeah, and I was right behind her.

***Raini: That’s so weird! Heh!

Raini: Whoa, careful! Wah!

***Raini: But we were a little too slow!

Both: Whoa!

They fall.

Both: Oof…

Raz: Okay, no problem! Just go a little faster!

Raini: Yeah! Got it!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Okay, get ready to stay low!

Bruce: I hope we don’t get stuck!

Bombette: Here we go! Wooo!!

***Bombette: That was kinda scary. We’re kinda round…

***Bruce: But we managed to fit through! It was tight, but we made it!

Both: ……

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Watch out for bats!

Madame: Brrr… Ees freezing in ‘ere!

Monsieur: Oh wow! Look at zat icicle!

Madame: Eet’s cracked! I ‘ope eet doesn’t-

Monsieur: Eet’s falling! Watch out!

Madame: Whoa!


Monsieur: Zis cave ees dangerous! Be careful!

Madame: Okay! Don’t worry!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Almost there!

Birdo: Wah! I almost slipped!

Mouser: Okay! I’m there! Come on! Give me your hand!

Birdo: I’m slipping! AhH!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Okay, go!

Raini: Hup! Hup!

Raz: Hurry! They’re thawing!

Raini: One more big leap! Yaaaaaaahhh!!!

Raz: Great job! We’re there!

The bullets break free.

Raz: Whoa… Close one! Heh heh…

Raini: Great job, hon!


Raz: Make your way to the next Pit Stop! Nove Castle!

Phil: Teams must now travel by taxi to this large structure: Nove Castle! This large fortress was where both Petey Piranha and Lemmy Koopa waited to fight the Mario Bros. and Company. This is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race! The last team to check in here…may be eliminated!

Raz: Woo! Let’s go!

Raini: How do we get these suits off?

Raz: Who cares! Let’s just keep ‘em on!

Raini: Hahaha! We’re gonna look so silly!

They climb down and flag a taxi.

Raz: To the castle, please!!!


Raz: Woooo! Pit Stop!!!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: There you go! Great job, Birdo!

Birdo: Woo!! Thanks!!

Mouser: Wow! We made it all the way through that cave! Spectacular!

Birdo: Wow…

***Mouser: We had to just take a moment… We’re starting to realize just how amazing each other is. We’ve done things we never though we’d ever do!

Birdo: Okay! Let’s open the clue!


Birdo: All right! Pit Stop!

Mouser: I wonder if we’re still in first!

Birdo: I sure hope so! Let’s go!!

They exit the cave.

Birdo: Ugh, it’s still snowing like nuts out here!

Mouser: Is it ever gonna let up?!

Birdo: There’s a taxi! Come on!


Birdo: Let’s go!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Zat ees zee way!

Madame: Up zere?!

Monsieur: Oui! Let’s ‘urry!

Madame: Zis ees nuts! And cold!

Monsieur: Yeah, but you can do eet!

Madame: Oui…

Monsieur: Just jump onto zee icicle!

Madame: Okay… Hup! *slip* Waahh!

Monsieur: Careful! I got you!

Madame: Oh, merci!

***Madame: Eet was a little tough, but nothing too wild.

***Monsieur: Eet was kind of fun!

Monsieur: C’est trés beau, non? (It's very beautiful, no?)

Madame: Oui…

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Okay… Here’s the Bullet Bills…

Bruce: How do we throw iceballs?

Bombette: I think we just swing our wicks… like this! *throws one*

Bruce: Whoa! Careful, you almost froze me!

Bombette: Heh, sorry!

Bombette: Okay… Just gotta time it right and we’ll climb up!

Bruce: Are we gonna be able to reach the ones way up there?

Bombette: Don’t worry! We’ll get it!

Bruce: Hahaaa!!!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: We gotta be careful driving in this storm…

Birdo: I’m so scared driving in this!

Mouser: I can barely see cars!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Whoa… Is the storm getting worse?

Raini: I didn’t think that was possible!

Raz: Whooaaa… How do you know where you’re going?! Haha!

Cabbie: Practice!

Raz: Well kudos to you! I’d give you a tip, but we’re really tight on money!

Raini: Yeah… We’re like broke!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: That’s another taxi up there!

Birdo: It is?

Mouser: I see a team in it….

Birdo: Oh?

Mouser: It’s Raz & Raini! They caught up!

Birdo: What? Urgh… I thought we were still in first!

Mouser: If possible, could you pass that car? We want to be ahead of them!

Birdo: Aw man…

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: There’s a taxi trying to pass us.

Raini: Oh! It’s Birdo & Mouser!

Raz: Man… How are they there?

Raini: Go, go, go! Don’t let them pass!

Raz: This is getting wild!

Raini: Careful! Careful! Waah!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: This… is insanity!

Birdo: Racing through the tundra!

Mouser: Whooooaaaaa!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Great job! Yeah, don’t let them pass!

Raini: Thank you!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Okay, I’ll freeze them… Then we have to hurry!

Bruce: I got it!

Bombette: Okay!

***Bombette: We worked together and we froze the Bullet Bills!

***Bruce: Yeah, Bombette has really good aim!

Bombette: Okay, go!

Bruce: Waah!

They begin hopping up.

Bruce: They’re shaking!

Bombette: They’re gonna break!


Both: Waaaaaah!


Bombette: Oww…

Bruce: Not fast enough…

Bombette: Okay, we’ll try again!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Zee exit ees up zere!

Madame: Oh, finally!

Monsieur: Zen we will be back outside!

Madame: Oh… In zee cold… ugh…

Monsieur: Okay, let’s get go- *Slip* Wah!

Madame: Oh, careful! Zat ‘ill ees slippery!

Monsieur: I see zat…

Madame: Let’s go! We can make eet!

Monsieur: Oui…

***Monsieur: We saw zee light at zee end of zee tunnel!

Monsieur: Woo!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Is that the castle?!

Birdo: No, that’s the Ghost House…

Mouser: Oh…

Birdo: We need to go over this bridge first!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Oh, now we’re going on a bridge…

Raini: They can’t really pass on a bridge. It’s not safe.

Raz: So we’re ahead of them…

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: And the Pit Stop is right there! I see Phil!

*Shot of Phil standing under an umbrella, bundled up, braced against the cold and wind*

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: There he is over there!

Raini: Go, go! Pay him!

Raz: Come on! Get out!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: If we run we could beat them!

Birdo: Park here! Go! Run!

Mouser: Gah!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: C’mon, there he is!

All four step on the snowy mat.

Cooligan: YO! Welcome to the Nove Tundra!

Raz: Thanks, it’s absolutely frigid!

Mouser: Hurry up, Phil! We want to get inside and warm up!

Phil: …

All 4: …

Phil: Birdo & Mouser?

Mouser: *hopeful gasp*

Phil: Please step aside because Raz & Raini are team number one!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Raz: Wooo!! Awesome!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: Aw, Phil! That was mean!!!

Phil: Which means you’re team number two!

Birdo: You jerk! Hahaha!!

Mouser: That’s good! We’re one step away from first place!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds
Phil: Raz & Raini, as the winners of this leg of the race, you have won two snowmobiles!

Raz: Oh wow, cool!

Phil: And you can enjoy those after the race!

Raz: Awesome!

Raini: We’re on the way to the finale! It’s going to be spectacular, Phil! Just you watch!

Raz: Yeah!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends
Mouser: We’re gonna be there too!

Birdo: Yeah! And we’re gonna win!

Mouser: Woo!

Raini: Haha, right!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Up! Up! Hurry!

Bruce: I got it!

Bombette: All right! We climbed up the frozen Bullets!

Bruce: Great job!


Bruce: Okay! Pit Stop! Let’s go!

Bombette: Grab another taxi?

Bruce: Yeah, go get one!

Bombette: Taaxxiiiiiii!!!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Come on! I got zee clue!

Madame: Yeah! Go!


Monsieur: Let’s ‘urry to zee Pit Stop! Come on!

Madame: Oh, I ‘ope we’re not last!

They drive off.

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: So, to the castle, please!

Bruce: The castle! Go!

Bombette: You know? You know where the castle is, right?

Cabbie: …

Bruce: Make sure you know where you’re going!

Cabbie: *nods*

Bombette: You know?

Bruce: Does he speak English?

Bombette: Sir! Please, we’re just asking a question!

Cabbie: *annoyed face*

Both: …………

Bombette: Uhhhh….

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: To zee castle, please!

Cabbie: Oh, yeah! I know that!

Madame: Please go fast! We need to race some ozers to get zere!

Cabbie: Here we go!

Monsieur: Whoa!! Woo!! Fast! Yes, we like zat!

Cabbie: Wooo!!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: This isn’t it, is it?

Bruce: We need the CASTLE!

Cabbie: I’m GOING!

Both: …

Bombette: I don’t feel good about this…

Bruce: Ugh!!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Woo! You’re number one taxi driver! You’re zee best!

Madame: We are going to give you a ‘uge tip!

Cabbie: All right! *thumbs up*

Monsieur: Ees zat eet?

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bombette: Oh, THERE’s the castle!

Bruce: Hurry! Go up there! Get out!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: ‘urry up! I see Phil!!

Madame: Oh!

Monsieur: Go!!!

Phil: ….

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bruce: THIS way!

Bombette: Wah!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Faster!

Phil: *eyebrow raise*

Someone steps on the mat.

Phil: …

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating
Bruce: We’re dieing and freezing! Please hurry!

Phil: … Bombette & Bruce?

Both: …

Phil: You’re… team number three!!

Bombette: Yes!! Yes, we made it!! Wooo!!!

Bruce: Oh wow! We’re still in the race!

Phil: Yes, you’re still in the race! Congratulations!

***Bombette: We raced as hard as we could! And we made it!

***Bruce: We want to show everyone what we can do!

***Bombette: And we made it! We’re still in the race!

Bombette: Woo!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple
Monsieur: Zere ‘e ees! ‘urry!

They step on the mat.

Phil: … Broque Monsieur & Broque Madame?

Both: ….

Phil: You’re the last team to arrive…

Monsieur: Oh non… I can’t believe eet… I won’t!

Madame: …

Phil: … And I’m sorry to tell you…

Phil: That you’re at the back of the pack… but not out! This is a non-elimination leg!

Madame: What?! What?!

Monsieur: Oh yes!! Yes!!! We’re still in zee race!

Madame: We are?! OH MON DIEU!! Merci!!! (OH MY GOSH!! Thank you!!!)

Monsieur: Ouais!!! (Yeah!!!) Yes!!!

Phil: However, this comes at a price. On the next leg of the race, you will encounter a Speed Bump. You must complete this extra task as fast as you can if you want to catch up!

Monsieur: Okay, Phil! Whatever we ‘ave to do!

Madame: Oui! We are still going to win zis race!

Monsieur: Definitely!!

***Monsieur: Zee non-elimination leg was a surprise… but we’re very ‘appy for eet!

***Madame: We are very far be’ind, we are at zee back of zee pack… But we’re going to survive!

***Monsieur: Oui! We’re going to move back up to zee top of zee ranks and win zis race! We are! We’re going to win! No question!

The credits roll…

Read on!

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