The Amazing Race MK III

By Giga Bowser NS

*Dramatic Music*

Phil: I’m standing atop the imposing figure that is Bowser’s Castle. For generations, the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom have lived in fear of this spooky locale. Even today it is perpetually covered by stormy clouds. From this dark fortress where Mario often ended his perilous adventures…12 teams…will race around the MK…for 1 million coins.

We see tanks driving.

Phil: Bowser’s personal fleet of tanks are transporting the teams to the starting line. The twelve teams are…

The tanks roll to a stop, and one opens its hatch. Broque Monsieur and Broque Madame clamber out with excited expressions.

Phil: Broque Monsieur and Broque Madame. Once married, they are now separated and hoping to reconcile.

Monsieur: Ah, oui! Our adventure ees commencing!

Madame: Vous will have to excuse ‘im. ‘e ees, ‘ow you say, eccentric.

Broque Monsieur is massaging his wife in her house.

Monsieur: I ‘ave my doubts zat she ees ready for such a journey. She ees used to zee luxuries of zee rich life.

Madame: I must admit, I zink eet will be a challenge, but we can ‘andle it!

They are looking through Broque Monsieur’s block collection.

Monsieur: I love collecting zee blocks. Perhaps we will find zee block challenge on zee race, no?

Madame: ‘is block obsession ‘as driven me away before, but I do love ‘im. ‘e just takes some getting used to.

Monsieur: Een any case, we will win!

Bombette and Bruce jump out. Bruce is rarin’ to go, but Bombette keeps giving him weird looks.

Phil: Bombette and Bruce…recently dating couple from Koopa Village.

Bombette: This might’ve been a mistake…

Bruce: Aww, it doesn’t matter, honey! As long as we have each other!

They’re strolling through Koopa Village.

Bruce: As soon as I lay eyes on beautiful Bombette, I fell deeply in love with her. She was the most beautiful Bob-omb I have ever met in my life.

Bombette: When he first approached me and asked me out, I was disgusted. He was too forward, and it seemed like he only wanted one thing.

They’re exploring the abandoned Koopa Bros. Fortress.

Bombette: Finally, one day he begged me to give him a chance and I agreed. We’ve been dating ever since.

Bruce: I want to make sure that this race doesn’t change our relationship. We’re not going to fight, and we’re going to respect each other to the utmost!

Toadofsky and Chanterelle climb out, nervous but excited.

Phil: Chanterelle and Toadofsky. Composer from Tadpole Pond…singer from Toad Town.

Chanterelle: Ahaaa!!! The Amazing Race! We will win for sure!

Toadofsky: You know it, girl!

Toadofsky is conducting and Chanterelle is singing at Club 64.

Chanterelle: I met Toadofsky when searching for some new material. I wanted to sing beautiful music, but most of the composers I knew made nothing but garbage. ‘ofsky’s music was simply brilliant.

Toadofsky: Her voice was beautiful. I knew that she was the only one fit to sing my songs. The friendship was instant.

They are visiting Tadpole Pond, trying to get inspiration.

Chanterelle: I can’t say I have the strongest nerves, but I will do my best. I hope this race will teach me to be a more independent and strong person.

Toadofsky: And if she needs assistance, I will be right there to help her out! I’m pretty strong and smart, if ya know what I mean! Haha!

Kroop & Dour climb out slowly, with great optimism.

Phil: Kroop and Dour, mayors of Petalburg and Twilight Town, respectively.

Kroop: We may be old geezers, but we have experience on our side! Ehh heh heh heh!

Dour: Well….hopefully we’ll win…we probably won’t though…

They’re sipping tea in Kroop’s house.

Kroop: I remember, back in my younger days, when this nice guy named Murphy came and saved us from ol’ Hooktail. He was a feisty one, but Murphy wasn’t afraid! Nope! Nope! Anywho, his bravery inspired us to come on the race.

Dour: They tell us we’re the oldest ones on the race so far… Oh man, we’re definitely gonna lose now…

They walk through Twilight Town.

Kroop: Since we’re both mayors, we’re often in contact. We became friends, and love to do things together.

Dour: I hate my job…Twilight Town stinks….Bleaugh…

Doopliss and Flurrie climb and float out, raring to go.

Phil: Doopliss and Flurrie…Famous actress and actor who’ve starred in one of the most famous plays ever written.

Flurrie: Oh, yes, yes, yes! More lovely people to adore me!

Doopliss: Yes! Money for us to win!

Both: This is spectacular!

We see footage of their play.

Doopliss: I used to be…well, not such a good guy. I turned dudes into pigs for fun. Eventually, Mario and his friends, including Flurrie, came and taught me a lesson.

Flurrie: After our adventure, I was chosen to star in a play about Mario. However, they were missing an actor to play Mario himself, so I suggested Doopliss.

They’re lounging in Flurrie’s House.

Flurrie: I can control the wind, and I’m pretty smart! I love solving puzzles, and I will never give up!

Doopliss: Yes, and I can shapeshift. These tricks…will hopefully give us the advantage necessary to win the race.

Flurrie: Oh, I do hope we win! It will be so much fun!

Raz & Raini climb out, extremely excited and happy.

Phil: Raz & Raini. Newlyweds, whose incredible story became part of a legend.

Raz: Hey! We’re here, and we’re ready to win!

Raini: Woo! As long as we’re together, nothing can bring us down!

They’re cooking up a meal.

Raz: Our wedding occurred exactly during the time of Smithy’s takeover. It was rudely interrupted by an odd man named Booster…Mario came in and saved the day, though.

Raini: When the movie “Super Mario RPG” was made, our little misadventure became part of film history.

They’re walking through Yoshi’s Island.

Raz: Raini is my sweetheart. I love her to death, and nothing she could ever say or do would make me love her less. She’s smart, kind, caring…and I just love her.

Raini: Raz and I will be successful in the race because we connect so well. We understand each other in ways some of the other teams can only dream of.

Raz: I love you.

Raini: I love you too, honey!

Brighton and Twila float out, smiling and waving.

Phil: Brighton and Twila. The magical embodiments of the Sun and the Moon…and best friends.

Brighton: Hello everyone!

Twila: This race will be easy for us! We cannot lose!

They’re exploring the Party boards.

Brighton: We may have had a major spat in the past, but it’s over now. Our friendship is as strong as ever, and nothing can tear us apart!

Twila: He’s funny, and always optimistic!

They’re floating through the night sky.

Twila: I love darkness, and the night sky is my favourite thing. If the race is to send us into, like, a dark cave or something, I’m game. I’ll handle it easily.

Brighton: She’s the brains and I’m the brawn. Definitely.

Dr. Mario and Nurse Toadstool step out, smiling and having a good time.

Phil: Dr. Mario and Nurse Toadstool. The best and most famous doctor in the entire kingdom, and his assistant.

Dr. Mario: No, I’m not Mario! SHUT UP!

Nurse: Oh, not this again!

Dr. Mario is checking his inventory of pills.

Dr. Mario: I am Dr. Mario, and I am saving lives. The Mushroom Kingdom is fraught with illnesses that many cannot even begin to comprehend. That’s where I come in.

Nurse: Dr. Mario is the best around. Any kind of illness you have, he can cure it. His megavitamins have become world renowned.

They are giving a Toad a check-up.

Dr. Mario: I wanted to go on this race to prove to the world that doctors can be more than just dudes who a spent long, long time in school. In essence, we are not nerds.

Nurse: That’s right. We will show the world that we can take it on and not be defeated!

Hammer Bro. and Boomerang Bro. climb out, confident and prepared.

Phil: Hammer Bro. and Boomerang Bro., both high-ranking members of Bowser’s army.

Hammer: We will hammer out the competition…

Boomerang: …and they won’t be coming back!

We see stock footage of Bowser’s third strike on the Kingdom.

Hammer: We were with Bowser from the beginning. His entire army of Koopas wasn’t doing so well in the training exercises, so we stepped up and said we’d be willing to train harder. We took more courses and eventually became masters of the hammers.

Boomerang: As time went on, Bowser’s minions became more diverse, and I switched to boomerangs instead. I find them more deadly.

They’re doing rigorous training in Bowser’s Castle.

Hammer: As high-ranking members of the Koopa Troop, I think it’s impossible for us to lose. We’re strong, fast, and nearly unstoppable. Mario always has troubles getting past us, and there’s a reason for that.

Boomerang: Yeah, we’re strong, and we’ll surmount all obstacles! We’ll be unstoppable!

Birdo and Mouser climb out, looking focused.

Phil: Birdo and Mouser. Members of Wart’s army, they’re among the highest-ranking.

Birdo: I’m a GIRL, dangit!!!

Mouser breaks out laughing.

They’re exploring the abandoned Wart’s Castle.

Birdo: I used to be part of Wart’s army. When he took over Sub-con, I was his most-used ally. He trusted me. When he was defeated, though, I went to the Mushroom Kingdom and became friends with Mario and Co.

Mouser: My story’s the same, except I remained in Sub-con. It was my home, and I wasn’t going to leave.

They’re strolling across the plains of Sub-con.

Birdo: More recently, we’ve been in contact. We’ve become close friends, and we’ve visited each other quite a bit.

Mouser: The Mushroom Kingdom’s screwed up!

Birdo: Hahaha! Anyway, I have confidence that we’ll win! With our brains and our determination, we’re sure to go far!

Mouser: He’s got it correct!

Birdo: I’M NOT A BOY!!!

Mouser falls over laughing.

Big Boo and Big Blue Boo fly out, barely squeezing through the opening as they cackle dementedly.

Phil: Big Boo…and Big Blue Boo. Two high-ranking members of King Boo’s clan of Boos.

Big Boo: Heeheeheee…We’re here…Be afraid!

Blue Boo: Be veeeeeeery afraid.

They’re haunting a Ghost House.

Big Boo: As Boos, we have a certain advantage. Not only that, but we’re huge, and we’re powerful. We’re unstoppable!

Blue Boo: True. Very true. Others may see us as bumbling or….fat. But we’re not fat! We’re some of the most powerful Boos out there. You should all learn to fear us!

They’re haunting Luigi’s Mansion.

Big Boo: Our strength comes from our size, as well as the fact that we’re Boos. Our King may have placed 4th, but you can bet that we’ll be much stronger, and go much further.

Blue Boo: Yes…The other competitors should just give up now.

Baby Yoshi and Yoshi Jr. hop out, hyper and anxious to begin.

Phil: Baby Yoshi and Yoshi Jr. The youngest competitors thus far on the race; best friends from Yoshi’s Island

Baby: Heh…I’m not a baby…I’m just called that.

Yoshi Jr.: You’d better believe him, or he’ll eat ya up!

Yoshi Jr. is fighting in the Glitz Pit and Baby Yoshi is cheering.

Yoshi Jr.: I am also known as The Great Gonzales Jr! I used to travel with Mario, and now I’m getting close to being the champion of the Glitz Pit! Not to be cocky, but I’m pretty spectacular!

Baby: Yeah! When I first heard from my dad that someone from our island was fighting in the Glitz Pit, boy was I excited! I had to meet him!

Yoshi Jr.: I took a liking to him. He reminded me of me.

They’re relaxing on Yoshi’s Island.

Yoshi Jr.: I am the strength of our team, and he’s got the intelligence. Together, we’ll be an awesome team! Right, dude?

Baby: That’s right! We’re gonna be so awesome, and we’re gonna win!

Yoshi Jr.: We’re gonna win! We are! Give up now!

They all walk, double file, towards the large doors of Bowser’s Castle.

Phil: Can these teams stand up to the stress of travelling together across nearly 70,000 miles? And who will muster…the right combination of brains, brawn, and teamwork, to win the one million coins?

We fade back to Phil on the top.

Phil: These are the questions waiting to be answered…as we get ready to begin, the Amazing Race: MK!

He walks off as the camera fades to the teams lined up outside the imposing doors of Bowser’s Castle.

Phil: In just a few minutes you’ll be leaving on a race around the kingdom. Along the way you’ll be faced with obstacles, the likes of which you’ll never expect. The race is divided into many legs. At the end of each leg there is a Pit Stop. However, be very careful! There are nine elimination points along the race. Now you’ll want to reach them as soon as you can because if you’re last…you will be eliminated.

The contestant cast worried glances.

Phil: Think you know this race? I am going to let you know that you really don’t. Get ready for surprises.

*More glances*

Phil: When I give you the word…you can run over to your luggage…read the clue on top…and begin your race. What you do after that…is completely up to you. The first team to cross the finish line…will win, 1 million coins!

The contestants cheer!

Phil: Are you all ready?

All: YEAH!!!

Phil: Good luck then.

Everyone gets ready to run.

Phil: Travel safe…

He raises his eyebrow…

Phil: GO!!!

Episode 1

Title: I’M A GIRL!!!

Hammer: All right!

Birdo: Here we go!

Yoshi Jr.: Outta my way!

Big Boo: Come on! Faster!

Kroop: Oh! Are we starting?!

Bruce: Look out!

Bombette: Waah!

She crashes into Nurse Toadstool and both tumble.

Nurse: Gahh!

(Riiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiiiiiip)

Mouser: Enter Bowser’s Castle…

Brighton: …find Bowser’s throne room…

Raz: …to receive your next clue…

Doopliss: …and get ready for your first surprise!

Flurrie: Let’s go!

*Quick shot of the castle*

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: The race begins! I’m so excited!

Raini: Hurry up! We’re first!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: Suives moi! (Follow me!) I know zee way!

Madame: Ees zis zee house of zat magnifique masseur?

Monsieur: Huh?

Madame: Nothing!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Big Boo: Let’s go see Bowser!

Blue Boo: I can talk to him about my raise!

All the teams dash through the main hallway and enter the doors to Bowser’s Throne Room.

Bowser: Is it too late to back out of this? *sees the teams* Oh! AHEM! BWAHAHAHA!!! You’ve all fallen for my trap!

Everyone: …

Bowser: … Ugh, forget it!

Bowser strikes a block above him with his fist.

Dr. Mario: What is that?

Twila: What’s he doing?

Bowser snickers, then inhales.

Yoshi Jr.: What’s going on?!

Chanterelle: It’s sucking us all in!!!

There’s a tornado of air leading into Bowser’s maw, and all the teams are being pulled into it.

Everyone: WAAAAHHH!!!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: Aha! ‘e ees still using zee Vacuum Block I gave to ‘im! Way to go, Monsieur Turtle Bits!

More screaming is heard, and then everyone’s gone. Bowser shuts his mouth, swallows, and grins.



All the teams are laying on the ground, dazed.

Everyone: Ughh…

Bombette: What happened?

Flurrie: That big brute swallowed us!

Hammer: Well, just great! Now how are we supposed to continue with the race?!

Random talking and whining continues…

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

***Raz: We were sitting…inside Bowser…*shudder* and we noticed something odd off to the side.

Raz: Raini, what is that?

Raini: Hmm?

*Camera shot of what they’re looking at*

Raz: No way!

They dash off.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: What are they doing?

Hammer: Oh, my gosh! Look at that!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

***Raini: We couldn’t believe it…but it was a clue box.


Raz: This…this is where we’re having the race?!

Raini: Looks like it! “Find the Leg Outpost”.

Phil: Teams must now find their way through the confusing entrails of Bowser’s Body to find the Leg Outpost, where they will find their next clue.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: They have the clue!

Boomerang: What?!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bombette: This is part of the race?!

Bruce: No way! Impossible!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: C’mon! Hurry up!

(Riiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiip) (Riiip)

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Toadofsky: Find the…

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Mouser: …Leg Outpost…

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: To find your next clue…

Kroop: Well come on! This beach is beautiful!

Dour: …

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

***Raz: We were the first to leave…the stomach, I guess

***Raini: The Brothers were right behind us.

***Raz: Well, so was everyone! It was chaos!

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Twila: Okay! Let’s get going then!

Brighton: To the Leg Outpost!

***Twila: We had a falling out a long time ago…

***Brighton: We’re great friends now! I’m sure we’ll be able to compete with everyone!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Big Boo: Bleack! Absolutely disgusting!

***Blue Boo: We couldn’t really believe that we were inside Bowser. After you’ve been inside your boss, you can’t really look at him the same way!

A slew of teams flow out of the Trash Pit and walk around the squishy insides.

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: Okay! We have to figure out where we’re going!

Nurse: Don’t panic! We’ll figure it out!

***Dr. Mario: I’m sick of people confusing me for Mario! I’m not Mario!

***Nurse: *giggle*

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Birdo: Where are we going?!

Mouser: I have no idea!

***Birdo: It was really confusing. There were obviously no signs, and no maps, and no-one to ask. We were all running blind.

***Mouser: All we knew was that we had to go down.

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Toadofsky: Come on! This way!

Chanterelle: How do you know?!

Toadofsky: We’re going to the legs! We have to go down!

Chanterelle: How do you know which way is down?!

*High speed shots of the various “rooms”*

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Brighton: No, this can’t be right…

Twila: Where are we?

Brighton: I don’t know, but these weird Boo Blocks are in the way.

***Twila: We took a wrong turn…That put us back a bit.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: This way! This way!

Boomerang: How do you know?!

Hammer: I just have a feeling. Look! There’s a lot of muscles here!

Boomerang: Uugghh…I think I’m going to be sick…

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Follow them!!!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: Follow me, my sweet! Zose two are going zee right way! We can pass ‘zem!

Madame: ‘ow do you know?

Monsieur: I ‘ave been in ‘ere before!

***Monsieur: I was familiar with Monsieur Turtle Bits! ‘oo do you zink gave ‘im zee vacuum block?

Madame: Ooh hoo hoo! Zis is disgusting, but we are close to zee lead!

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Chanterelle: Go back! Wait!

Toadofsky: Huh?

Chanterelle: All the teams are turning back there by all the half-digested food!

Toadofsky: We passed the gut?

Chanterelle: Yeah! Come on!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: Yo! Let’s go back! This isn’t right!

Big Boo: Why?

Blue Boo: We’re flying up so high! None of the other teams would be able to do this.

***Big Boo: The Big Blue Boo, here…he’s smart! He’s definitely got the brains of this operation!

Blue Boo: Come on!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: There it is!

Boomerang: The clue box!!!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Woo!!! Come on, hon!

Raini: Hurry and get it! I’m sick of this place!


Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners (Currently in 1st Place)

Hammer: Find Toad Square…

Phil: Teams must now make their way to this place above the stomach, which was where Toads had created a pseudo-settlement when they were swallowed by Bowser. It is here they will find their next clue.

Hammer: Back up there! I saw that!


Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds (Currently in 2nd Place)

Raini: Find Toad Square.

Raz: We already passed it! Come on!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple (Currently in 3rd Place)

Monsieur: Aha! Zee clue!


Monsieur: Ah! Toad Square! Zat is too simple!

Madame: Lead ze way, mon petit Broque!

Monsieur: We must ‘urry! More teams are coming!


Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating (Currently in 4th Place)

Bruce: We gotta go to Toad Square.

Bombette: Where’s that?

Bruce: Don’t you remember?

(Riiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiiiiip)

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor (Currently in 5th Place)

Doopliss: Find Toad Square…

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends (Currently in 6th Place)

Birdo: …to find your next clue!

Mouser: Come on!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Kroop: See! It’s the leg! Look at those biceps!

Dour: Ughh…Biceps aren’t in the leg….

Kroop: Since when?!

Dour: *sigh* Follow me…We’re so far behind.

***Dour: I really felt like we were going to lose…


Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer (Currently in 7th Place)

Chanterelle: Okay! Let’s go catch up!

***Toadofsky: We were a little behind, but we knew how confusing this place was. Anything could happen.

Chanterelle: I still can’t believe we’re here!

Toadofsky: I know!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: Come on! Don’t fall behind!

Boomerang: Don’t wait up!

***Hammer: We’re awesome friends! We’re the best at hammering and boomeranging!

***Boomerang: Some of the elite members of Bowser’s troop! We’re strong, determined, and not complete idiots like most of his troops.

Hammer: Almost there!


Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends (Currently in 8th Place)

Brighton: Oh!! Didn’t we pass a place with a Toad symbol?

Twila: We sure did, come on!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Baby: Where are we?? Eeewwww!!!

Yoshi Jr.: I thought for sure this was the way!

***Yoshi Jr.: We ended up in this ugly place with drippy sticky stuff all over.

***Baby: We knew right off the bat that we were in the wrong place.

Yoshi Jr.: Look! Someone else is coming!

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: *gasp* This is terrible! Bowser really needs to lose weight!

Nurse: I concur! Look at all this fat!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: It’s…them…

Baby: Come on, let’s go! This isn’t right!


Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts (Currently in 9th Place)

Blue Boo: Ah! I know that place!

Big Boo: Let’s go regain some ground!


Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: We’re here! See! Look at all the shops!

Boomerang: They’re all abandoned now.

Hammer: Don’t relax! The Toads are right behind us!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Grab the clue!

***Hammer: Yeah, they were right there with us! Their speed surprised us!

(Riiiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiip)

Raini: Roadblock!

Phil walks across the platforms in Toad Square. Yes, he too is inside Bowser’s Body.

Phil: A Roadblock is a task that only one person may perform, and no person may do more than 6 Roadblocks on the entire race. In this Roadblock, the chosen team member will have to do something…decidedly unpleasant. They will go to a marked stall where a pile of gear and badges awaits them. They will have to sort the gear and badges into the designated piles. However, they are all covered in disgusting bodily fluids. If team members can overcome their disgust, they could leap ahead.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: Roadblock. Who doesn’t pass out easily?

Boomerang: I’ll do it, I guess.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raini: Can you please do it, honey?

Raz: Okay! No problem!

Raini: Good luck!

They clamber up to the platform.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: Ohhh, my…This is…gnarly.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Eeewwwww…Now I remember why I decided not to go to medical school!

Raini: Hurry up! The others are coming!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Madame: Eet is a Roadblock!

Monsieur: I will do eet! Vous shall not get zose dainty ‘ands dirty!

Madame: Merci! (Thank you!)


Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bombette: Roadblock.

Bruce: I’ll do it, sweetie!

Bombette: Okay!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Ughh…Okay, these are socks…here’s some shoes…

***Raz: The Roadblock wasn’t hard. It was just disgusting.

Raz: Uuuggghhh….

***Raz: It didn’t take long.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: This stinks…so bad…but it won’t take too long…


Kroop/Dour -- Mayors (Currently in 10th Place)

Dour: Finally here…

Kroop: Yes! I told you the clue was here!


Kroop: Toad Square! That’s down further!

Dour: We can’t go down lower!

Kroop: Trust me!

Dour: ….



Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: Roadblock!

Doopliss: You do this one. I don’t wanna get my sheet dirty!

Flurrie: Okay! Sure!


Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Birdo: I’ll do it!

Mouser: Good luck!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Who’s that guy?

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: Oh, it’s that Birdo guy.

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Birdo: I’M NOT A GUY!!!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Done!!! That was pretty easy!

Raini: Good job, hon!

Toad: Here’s your clue!


Raz: Make your way…

Phil: Teams must now make their way to this place: Rump Command. At this extremely pivotal location in Bowser’s Body, teams will pull one of four departure times for the next morning.

Raz: “…Hurry and make sure you get a departure time!”

Raini: That must be down low!

Raz: I…think we should plug our noses.

Raini shudders.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: I’m all done! Let’s go!


Boomerang: Follow them! That’s the way!

Hammer: We have to spend the night in here?! Uuuuggghhhh…


Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Chanterelle: Roadblock…Oh, my…

Toadofsky: I’ll do it! I’m not afraid to get dirty!

Chanterelle: Good luck!


Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Here it is!!!

Baby: We are so far behind! We have to hurry!


Yoshi Jr.: Okay, we have to find Toad Square.

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: Hurry up!


Nurse: Let’s run!

***Dr. Mario: We were in last place, but we weren’t giving up!

***Nurse: We’ll fight to the bitter end!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Okay, dude! All we have to do is beat them!

***Yoshi Jr.: It was a fight for last place, and we weren’t going to lose.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: I am done! Where is my clue?


Monsieur: Let’s go to zee rump command! Zat it as far down as we can go!

Madame: Oh! ‘ow vulgar!

Monsieur: Don’t worry! We just need to zink about zee race! We will get zee early departure time!

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Brighton: Here we are!

Twila: It’s a Roadblock! I think I’ll do it!

Brighton: Good luck!

Twila: This is going to be unpleasant.

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: Oh my gosh! This is absolutely disgusting! Uggghhh…I’m getting filthy!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bruce: Almost done! Almost done!

***Bruce: I barely even noticed the goop all over the clothes. I just sorted them as quickly as I could so we could move on…I wanted to impress her.


Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: Roadblock…

Big Boo: Me! I’ll do it!

Blue Boo: Hurry up! We’re behind!

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bruce: Done!

Blue Boo: And we’re falling behind even more! Come on! Go!


Bombette: Find the Rump Command! Eeeewwww!!!

Bruce: Don’t worry! I’ll protect you!

Bombette: …


Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: This is it!

Raini: What is all this? Some kind of purple river?

Raz: Grab a time!

They pull off an 8:00 sticker,

Raz: We’re the first ones!

Raini: Good job!

***Raini: Being in first place was certainly a surprise, but it gave us such confidence in our abilities! It made us feel awesome!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: Wait up!!

Boomerang: Grab it!

They also grab an 8:00 sticker.

Boomerang: Awesome!

Hammer: Good job, Bro!

???: ‘Allo?!

Hammer: Hm?

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: Nous sommes ici! (We are here!)

Madame: Oh, look! We are in zee top tier!

They grab the last 8:00 sticker.


Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Mouser: Find the Rump Command!

Birdo: Okay! Let’s go!

Mouser: Good job, Birdo! Let’s go!

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Chanterelle: Come on! You can do it!

Toadofsky: This is…disgusting!

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Doopliss: Are you done?!

Flurrie: Ughh…That was awful!


Flurrie: Oh! We passed that place, didn’t we?

Doopliss: Let’s go!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: My goodness, what’s going on here?

Kroop: People are leaving already! When did we fall behind?!

Dour: …


Dour: I’m doing the Roadblock.

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bombette: Come on!

Bruce: Goo! Goo!

They grab an 8:30 sticker.

Bruce: Aww…We missed the first group.

Bombette: It’s okay. We’re only 30 minutes behind them.

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Mouser: Grab one, quickly!

They pull an 8:30 sticker.

Mouser: You did good today!

Birdo: Thanks! You too!

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Twila: I’m done with this disgusting task!

Brighton: Good job!


Brighton: Come on! Let’s hurry! We want to get a really early time!

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Doopliss: Go! Get one!

Flurrie: It’s the last one!

She grabs the last 8:30 sticker.

Flurrie: Excellent.

Doopliss: I don’t wanna sleep here. This is just sick.

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: This is it!

Baby: Come on!

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: We have to do this fast, whatever it is!

(Riiiiiiip) (Riiiiiiiiiip)

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: I’ll do the Roadblock.

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: Me!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: Will you hurry up?!

Big Boo: Sorry! This just…stinks!! Okay! I’m done!

Blue Boo: Finally!


Blue Boo: Come on! We’re behind!

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Chanterelle: Ahahahaa! This is the place!

Toadofsky: Bowser has a really weird body!

They grab a 9:00 sticker.

Chanterelle: 9 AM…Ughh…

Toadofsky: It’s okay! At least we’re not last.

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Baby: Come on, dude! Hurry up!

Yoshi Jr.: Yuck! This is totally sick!

***Yoshi Jr.: The clothes were sticky and…ugh…

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Nurse: You can do it!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: I’m done!

Kroop: *snoring* Wha? Huh?! Oh! Good job!


Dour: That place must be down.

Kroop: Are you sure it’s not in the head?

Dour: Just…come…

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Brighton: There it is!

Twila: Good job!

They grab a 9:00 sticker.

Twila: We did pretty good!

Brighton: Not perfect, but still pretty good.

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Baby: Come on! Hurry up!

Yoshi Jr.: Almost done!

Baby: We have to be fast…

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: Yes!

They grab the last 9:00 sticker.

Blue Boo: Excellent! We’re not in the last group!

Big Boo: Nice!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Okay! I’m done!

Baby: Come on, then!

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Nurse: Doc!

Dr. Mario: I’m done! Let’s get going!

(Riiiiiip) (Riiiiiiip)

Everyone: Come on!!!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Kroop: Okay! We’re in first place!

They take a 9:30 sticker.

Dour: No we’re not.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Good job, you two!

Raini: You did your best.

Dour: Did you notice there’s only one more 9:30 sticker?

Raz: Hmm? No, I didn’t…What does that mean?

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Let’s go! Maybe we can get a departure time ahead of them!

Baby: We don’t know what to expect, so we just have to go!

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: Come on, Nurse Toadstool! Watch out for that Goombule!

Nurse: Eeww…Disgusting!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Is this the right way?!

Baby: I think so! Keep going!

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: Which way? This way?

Nurse: Go!

All the other teams are standing in Rump Command, awaiting the final two teams.

Hammer: Who’s it gonna be?

Monsieur: Eet could be eizer of zem!

Flurrie: The suspense is killing me!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Yeah! Go! Go! Go!

Baby: There’s the thing!

They grab the last 9:30 sticker.

Yoshi Jr.: Awesome! We got it!

Baby: It was the last one!

Yoshi Jr.: It was? Hmm…

Dr. Mario/Nurse Toadstool -- Medical Experts

Dr. Mario: Well…we made it!

Nurse: Looks like we’re the last team.

Dr. Mario: Where’s our departure time?

They search for it.

Dr. Mario: There’s nothing here…

Other Teams: …

Phil walks out towards them.

Dr. Mario: Look! It’s Phil!

Nurse: What’s going on?

Phil: Dr. Mario & Nurse Toadstool? You’re the last team to arrive at this point in the race.

Dr. Mario: All right….

Phil: Even though this is not a Pit Stop…I’m sorry to tell you…

Everyone: …

Phil: …you’ve both been eliminated from the race.

Everyone has shocked expressions.

Dr. Mario: No…way…

Raz: Oh my gosh!

Twila: Really?!

Monsieur: C’est impossible! (That’s impossible!)

Hammer: Harsh! So harsh!

Dr. Mario: … I can’t believe it… Our race is over.

Nurse: That…that’s so awful…

Everyone: …

Dr. Mario: Well…I guess that’s fate. We’re gone now.

Nurse: What a shock.

***Dr. Mario: We tried our best, but we got lost. There wasn’t anything we could’ve done differently.

***Nurse: I’m sad to go, but at least we can leave with our heads held high. We tried as hard as we could.

Dr. Mario: Well…bye!

They walk off, but Dr. Mario turns around, takes off his headgear, and puts on a red hat.

Mario: Surprise!

Phil: …

Everyone: *Shocked chattering*

Chanterelle: I can’t believe it.

Mouser: This race is ruthless.

Bruce: I guess it goes to show you that you always have to try your hardest. Always…

The scene fades out…

…We fade back in to the teams sleeping in sleeping bags.

Fade to outside Bowser’s Castle, where the moon flies over the sky. We see a shot of Bowser’ rubbing his stomach and grumbling.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Uuuughhhhh…Is it morning?

Raini: How should I know?

***Raz: Yeah, sleeping inside Bowser was not pleasant…There were all these….really weird sounds and…it was just plain creepy.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: You ready to go?

Boomerang: Whenever you are, Bro!

Phil: Teams will be departing from the Rump Command in the same order they arrived, and spaced a half hour apart.

8:00 AM

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: All right!

*Riiiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiip*

Raz: Take a boat…

Phil: Teams must now pilot a boat up this river of energy known as the Adrenaline Channel. Following these markers, they will come to this place, the Challenge Node, where they will find their next clue.

Raini: Cool! Let’s jet!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: Okay! We gotta take these boats.

Hammer: Eeewwww…What is this stuff?

Boomerang: Try not to fall in.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: Ah! Zee Adrenaline Channel! Eet ees a trés neat part of zee body! And oú est nous going? (And where are we going?)

Madame: We ‘ave to get to zee Challenge Node!

Monsieur: Oh! Splendid!

***Monsieur: Monsieur Turtle Bits was mon only customer! I ‘ad to know all I could about ‘im, so, uh…I spend a little more time inside ‘im than ‘e knows about…Heh heh…

Monsieur: We go!!!

They all step into a boat and shove off.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: How do we steer this thing?

Raini: Come on, Raz! The Bros are getting ahead!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: Come on, man! Let’s get first on this leg!

Boomerang: Wooo!!!

They sail off into the distance.


*Riiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiip*

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Mouser: Make your way…

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: …up the Adrenaline Channel…

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bombette: …and find the Challenge Node.

Bruce: Let’s go! Come on! I’ll help you in the boat so you don’t get wet!

Bombette: Bleck…I DEFINITELY don’t want to fall in that stuff…I’m sick of being inside this body…

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Doopliss: Come on! Hurry up!

Flurrie: Haahaaaaa! We’re first out of our group!

Doopliss: We’re gonna catch up!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Mouser: Come on! People are getting ahead of us! Step on it!

Birdo: Keep your Bombs on, we’re off!

Mouser: Let’s go!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: There’s another flag, go this way…

Boomerang: This isn’t too hard…

***Hammer: We knew we would stay in first. The boats moved by themselves and all we had to do was steer, so no one could pass us.

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Doesn’t this thing have an accelerator?!

Raini: Don’t worry, hon! We’ll pass them at the task!

9:00 AM

*Riiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiip*

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Twila: Come on! Let’s catch up!

Brighton: I just want out of here. I can’t see the beautiful Sun!

Twila: Same goes! I haven’t yet spent a night without the moon above me…

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: Come on, you fool! Those floaty things are passing us!

Big Boo: I’m coming! Okay! Let’s go. Follow the flags, right?

Blue Boo: Right!

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Chanterelle: Off on another adventure!

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Doopliss: Gimme the wheel! I wanna drive!

***Flurrie: We don’t always see eye to eye…He doesn’t have the best manners, I mean he used to turn people into pigs! Heh…But, we’ll work on it…we will.

Flurrie: Don’t forget to look for flags.

Doopliss: Yeah, yeah, yeah…

They sail down a passage, but the camera turns to another passage with a race flag above it.


Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: We’re here!

Boomerang: Whoa…Bowser’s body is weird…

Hammer: What…are those yellow block things? Oh! Grab the clue!

They hop out of the boat and run to the clue box.


Hammer: Detour!

Phil: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams will find two of the main attractions here in the Challenge Node. The choice? Gauntlet or Cholesteroad. In Gauntlet, teams will enter this room, where they must battle a randomly picked foe that Mario & Luigi battled during their adventures inside Bowser’s Body. Once the foe is defeated, an emoglobin will give them their next clue. In Cholesteroad, teams must learn how to master one of the special items on display. Which one they choose is completely up to them. Whichever they choose, they will have to set a specific high score to receive their next clue.

Hammer: Which one should we do?

Boomerang: We’re gonna battle. Duh!

Hammer: I guess you’re right. Oh! Hurry! The married couple just got here!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Catch those Koopas!

Raini: Haha!


Raz: Detour…Let’s do the cholesterol thingie…

Raini: Yeah. We’re not fighters…


Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: Un Détour!

Madame: Oh, mon cheri! You can defeat zose enemies!

Monsieur: You are right! Bon! Let’s go!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: Hahaa!! All right! Who’re we fighting?!

Durmite X: Raawwrr!!!

Hammer: Whoa…It’s a big worm.

Both burst out laughing.

Boomerang: This’ll be a cinch!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Monsieur: ‘Allo? Who ees my enemy?

Alpha Kretin X: Rawrglblargl!!

Monsieur: Okay! Time to make mincemeat out of vous!

Boomerang: Ah, we’d better hurry!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Here! Pick an item!

Raini: What should we do?

***Raz: Each item had instructions, and a lot of them sounded really weird and complicated.

Raz: Umm…Let’s do the…the Shells.

***Raz: It had the highest score to beat, but we thought we could do it.

9:30 AM

*Riiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiiip*

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

***Baby: We were in last place, so we knew we needed to rush as fast as we could.

Yoshi Jr.: We take these boats, right?

Baby: Yes! Go! Go! Go!!

Yoshi Jr.: All right! All right! Here we come!!!

***Baby: And we just rushed off as fast as we could.

We see a shot of them racing away in the boat, completely missing the first race flag.

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: Aww…There they go…We’re in last now…

Kroop: Come on! We’ll be team number one, no doubt!

Dour: …

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: C’mere, you! Eat hammers!

Durmite X: Draawwrrr!!!

***Hammer: The big worm thing was a pushover. Pathetic. We were done in no time.

Boomerang: Come on! Lead him that way!

Hammer: Whoa! *jumps an attack* Nice try!

Boomerang: Take this!! *throws boomerang*


Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Both: …

***Flurrie: It became incredibly evident that we were lost.

Flurrie: When was the last time we saw a race flag?

Doopliss: I don’t know!

Flurrie: Maybe we should turn around…

Doopliss grumbles.

***Flurrie: I had no idea where we were…All I know is that it was wet…

Flurrie: We’re gonna make a U-turn and go back.

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends


Birdo: Detour!

Mouser: We’re gonna do the Gauntlet. Definitely!

Birdo: You got it!


Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bruce: It’s a Detour…Let’s go fight.

Bombette: It’ll be easy! We’ll blow them all up!

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: Man, we got company.

Hammer: It’s okay! He’s almost down!

Durmite X: *pants*

Hammer: Lights out! *smacks him on the head with hammer*

Boomerang: Good job!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raini: Keep it up!

Raz: Ha!

Raini: Ha!

They’re kicking a shell into Cholesterons.

Raini: One more! Don’t miss!

Raz: Ha!


Raz: Good job!

Both teams step out.

Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Boomerang: Uh oh, we’d better hurry!

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiip*

Hammer: Make your way…

Raz: To the Pit Stop…

Phil: Teams must now make their way through the Insides of Bowser’s Body to find this place: The Airway. This strange olfactory location is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here…will be eliminated.

Hammer: Hurry up!

Raini: Go, honey, go! We can beat them!


Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Brighton: Detour!!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Big Boo: Gauntlet or Cholesteroad…

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Twila: Let’s do the Cholesteroad…We’ll figure out the items!

Brighton: Okay!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: Okay. We choose Gauntlet.

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Broque: Come on, you cad! I will destroy vous!

Beta Kretin X: Graulghabargh!

Broque eats a Mushroom from a block, grows to twice his size, and crushes his opponent.

Monsieur: Ouah!!! (Yeah!) We win!

Madame: Bon travail! (Good job!) Let’s go!


Monsieur: Eet ees zee Pit Stop! Come! Let’s hurry! Vitons! (Let’s go!)

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bruce: Stay back, hon! I’ll handle this thing!

Bombette: Excuse me! I can take care of myself!

***Bombette: Bruce is…kinda overprotective of me…I think that might get in our way…

Bruce: C’mere! *blows up*

Wisdurm X: Gaaaaahhh!

Bombette: Wow! Nice explosion!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Birdo: Ptooie! Ptooie!

Mouser: Keep spitting eggs at that thing!

Birdo: Pwah…What are these things?

Bowser Memory MX: …

Mouser: They’re weird blocky Mario and Luigi!


Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: Geez…we’re finally here. Detour…

***Flurrie: We took a wrong turn on the Adrenaline Channel, and when we got there, we looked behind us and saw just how much time we had lost.

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Toadofsky: There’s the clue! Come on!


Chanterelle: It’s a Detour.

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Doopliss: Ugh, they caught up to us. Let’s go do the battling.

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Chanterelle: Come on! Cholesteroad.

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Brighton: Come on! Keep going!

***Twila: We chose to do this thing with a big ball.

Brighton: Left! More left!

***Twila: I was holding onto the big bouncy ball while it fell. It was kinda fun!

Brighton: Keep going!!!


Twila: Whee!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Both: ….

Baby: We screwed up…

Yoshi Jr.: Yup…

***Baby: We went SOO far out of the way before we realised we were going the wrong way.

***Yoshi Jr.: We really screwed up, and we had to go ALL the way back.

Yoshi Jr.: *sigh* I just hope we’re not eliminated…

*Huge Explosion*

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bruce: Done! Good job!


Bruce: It’s the Pit Stop! Come on!

Bombette: I’m comin’!

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Brighton: Don’t fall!

Twila: Waaahhh..


Brighton: That was close! Stay up! Just one more bounce!

Twila: Wheee!!!

Brighton: Good job! We got it!


Brighton: Pit Stop!


Hammer Bro./Boomerang Bro. -- Partners

Hammer: Go! Go! Go!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: No! We wanted to win!

Boomerang: Haha! Better luck next time!

Raini: Come on, hon!

They run to Phil, standing in front of a geyser next to the mat.

Emoglobin: Welcome to Globin!

Boomerang: Thanks a lot…I guess…

Phil: ….Hammer Bro & Boomerang Bro? You’re….Team number ONE!!!

Hammer: Woo-hoo!!! Awesome! Simply spectacularly awesome!

Boomerang: We’re first on leg one! That’s a good sign! We’re gonna take this thing right ‘til the end!

Hammer: Woo hooooooo!!!

Phil: As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a pre-paid credit card with 1,000 coins on it!

Hammer: Cool! Awesome!

Phil: Come on in, guys!

Raz/Raini -- Newlyweds

Raz: Ha….We made it…

Phil: Raz & Raini…you’re team number two. Congratulations!

Raz: Oh well! Next time!

Raini: Yeah. They’re tough competitors!

Raz: But we’ll win in the end!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Mouser: All right! Eat bombs! Haaa!!!


Birdo: Great job, bud! Let’s go!


Birdo: Pit Stop! Pit Stop!

Mouser: Shaddup and let’s hurry!!!

Broque Monsieur/Broque Madame -- Separated Couple

Phil: Broque Monsieur and Broque Madame? You’re team number three!

Monsieur: Ah, oui! Equipe numéro très! (Team number three!)

Madame: We did very well! Good job!!

Monsieur: Hahaa! Oui, oui!


Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Kroop: Roadblock!

Dour: No, Kroop, it’s a Detour.

Kroop: Really?

Dour: Let’s…um…do the special items thing.

Kroop: Yoooooou got it!

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: I just heard the old dudes! We have to get outta here quickly!

Doopliss: This guy is nuts!

Dark Star X: …

***Flurrie: Just by chance, we got one of the hardest enemies to face.

***Doopliss: Yeah, it was pretty tough.

Doopliss: Enough of this!!!

Doopliss copies Dark Star X.

Doopliss: Have a taste of your own medicine!!!

He shoots lasers…

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bombette: Where are we going?

Bruce: This way! Follow me!

Bombette: Look! It’s Brighton and Twila!

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Twila: We have teams behind us. Let’s hurry!

Brighton: I’m going as fast as I can.

***Brighton: I hate to admit it, but I was kinda getting tired.

Twila: Come on!

Brighton: They’re passing us.

Bombette/Bruce -- Newly Dating

Bruce: Come on! This way! This is the nose part!

Bombette: I see Phil!

Bruce: Yaaaaaayyy! Great job, hon!

Phil: Bombette & Bruce? You’re…team number four!

Bruce: All right!

Bombette: That’s good! Pretty good!

Brighton/Twila -- Best Friends

Twila: Hoo…Wwell, we made it!

Brighton: Hello!

Phil: Brighton & Twila…you’re team number five!

Brighton: We’re team number five! Sweet!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Big Boo: Waahahaha! That was almost too easy!

***Blue Boo: We defeated that trash can so easily, it was funny.

***Big Boo: Yeah, we were in and out.


Big Boo: Excellent! To the Pit Stop!!!

Blue Boo: Come on!

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: Keep going! He’s dead!

Doopliss (as Dark Star X): Yeah!

Dark Star X begins his last attempt attack.

Flurrie: Wah! What’s going on?!

Doopliss: He’s trying to suck us in! Run!!!


Doopliss: Hoo…*transforms to normal* That was a hassle…

***Flurrie: We spent too long there, but we got it done okay.

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends


Yoshi Jr.: Detour…

***Yoshi Jr.: We were very far behind, and we felt like we were in last. But we didn’t give up. We kept trying.

Baby: Obviously we’re gonna battle!

Yoshi Jr.: We’re in a bad spot, so we need to hurry it up! Come on!

Birdo/Mouser -- Partners/Best Friends

Phil: Birdo & Mouser…you’re team number six!

Mouser: All right!!!

Birdo: Good job! We made it!

Phil: Do you think you’ll be the first all male team to win the race?

Birdo: …

Mouser: Uh oh…


Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Birdo (distant): I’M A GIRL!!!

Chaneterelle: Whoa…

Toadofsky: Don’t…get…distracted!

***Chanterelle: We were doing this thing where we were jumping through magic mirrors or something. It wasn’t too hard, but I got dizzy after a while.

Chanterelle: Are we done yet?!

Toadofsky: One more for you! Don’t miss!

Chanterelle: Ah…Got it!

Toadofsky: Great job!


Chanterelle: We’re going to the Pit Stop!

Toadofsky: C’mon, girl!

Big Boo/Big Blue Boo -- Ghosts

Blue Boo: There’s the mat! Come on!!!

Big Boo: I’m comin’! Don’t panic!

Phil: Big Boo & Big Blue Boo…you’re team number seven.

Big Boo: That wasn’t too good…but we’ll bound back!

Blue Boo: Yeah…We’re a team that so good, we’re to die for!

Phil: Do you think you could even go further-

*Flashback of the first season with King Boo & Boo checking in first*

Phil: -than your own king?

Big Boo: We certainly hope so!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: We have to hurry, or we’ll be eliminated. Watch the shell and kick it!

Kroop: This is too hard!

He’s standing still, letting the shell rebound off him.

Dour: Riiiiight….

Flurrie/Doopliss -- Actress/Actor

Flurrie: We made it! We finally made it!!!

Phil: Flurrie & Doopliss?

Doopliss: Give us some good news!

Phil: You’re team number eight!

Doopliss: Okay! Good enough.

Flurrie: We got lost…We have to make sure we don’t do that again…

Phil: You think you still have a chance to win?

Flurrie: Oh, absolutely!

Doopliss: DUH!!!

The music gets tense…

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Waaahhh! Watch out!

Baby: Help!!!

***Yoshi Jr.: You have no idea…We had to fight Bowser X, and man! He was difficult!

Yoshi Jr.: I’ll try to shrink him with mini eggs!

Baby: Whatever you do, hurry! We have to get there quickly so we aren’t eliminated!

Chanterelle/Toadofsky -- Singer/Composer

Phil: Chanterelle & Toadofsky…you’re team number nine!

Chanterelle: Phew….

Toadofsky: We’re still in the game!

***Chanterelle: This race is harder than you could ever imagine…It just wears you down….

***Toadofsky: It’s tough. Whoever wins it deserves it.

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: Well…that went surprisingly well.

Kroop: What? Did we win?

Dour: Yeah. We killed them all with that green shell!

Kroop: Oh…When did that happen?

Dour: Whatever…


Dour: All right, we’d better get to this Pit Stop quickly!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: All right, enough! *whistles* Stampede!!!

Baby: Whoa!

A whole bunch of Yoshis come out of nowhere and stampede over Bowser X.

Bowser X: Grrrawwwggghhh!!!

Baby: … Where did they come from?!

Yoshi Jr. shrugs.

Baby: And where did they go?!

Yoshi Jr. shrugs.

Both: …


Yoshi Jr.: Come on! Let’s hussle!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Kroop: This way, right?!

Dour: That’s where we just came from! Come on! Follow me!

***Dour: We’re both really old, and we don’t run very fast…but we’re smart. And we’re hoping that will get us ahead in the race.

Dour: This has to be the way! This is like his esophagus or something…

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Baby: Isn’t this the way?

Yoshi Jr.: I thought this was the way!

Baby: Wah?

Yoshi Jr.: Uuuggghhh! I hate this body!!!

Baby: This stinks!

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Kroop: Are we there yet?

Dour: Almost! Keep going!

Kroop: I’m beat…

Phil is standing on the mat in the Airway awaiting the first team.

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Dour: Up here…

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: Eeww! Watch out for that gunk!


Phil: *Eyebrow raise*

Kroop/Dour -- Mayors

Both are wheezing and panting.

Dour: Ughh…We’re here…

Phil: … Kroop & Dour?

Kroop: Did we win?

Dour: Please…

Phil: You’re….team number ten!!!

Dour: Yes! We made t!! We’re still in the game!

Kroop: 10?! I thought we were in first! When did that happen?!

***Dour: It was an incredible feeling to hang on just barely. We’re still in the race, and that’s all that matters!

Dour: Yeah!!!

Baby Yoshi/Yoshi Jr. -- Best Friends

Yoshi Jr.: There’s the mat! Come on!

Baby: I’m right behind you!

They step onto the mat.

Yoshi Jr.: Hi, Phil!

Phil: … Baby Yoshi & Yoshi Jr.?

Baby: … Come on…

Phil: You’re the last team to arrive.

Both: …

Phil: I’m sorry to tell you you’ve been eliminated from the race.

Yoshi Jr.: Man… I just can’t believe it.

Baby: *sniffle* It’s over already…We failed…

Yoshi Jr.: I’m in the top tier of the Glitz Pit, but I can’t win this race it seems…Man…

***Yoshi Jr.: Incredibly disheartening to be eliminated on the first leg. It didn’t make us happy, that’s for sure.

***Baby: But we’re still great friends, and we live awesome lives.

***Yoshi Jr.: Yeah. We didn’t win a million coins, but we’ve still got our friendship, and that’s worth so much more.

***Baby: Yeah…

The credits roll…

Read on!

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