Chapter 1a: Worst Tutorial Ever
Last time, Mario went evil and captured the Star Spirits, Bowser, and some Koopalings. Iggy and Lemmy have left to try to get their siblings back. Will they succeed?
Me: That was a long recap for a short prologue.
Iggy: I think that this intro-
Lemmy: -is long enough.
Right. Just continue on with your life.
Goomba: Wait! You must do the battle tutorial!
Iggy: What are you-
Lemmy: talking about?
The Enemy Struck First!
Goomba attacks with headbonk. Goomba takes 4 damage.
Me: Don’t you mean Iggy takes 4 damage?
Iggy uses claw! 1 damage!
Iggy and Lemmy gain 5 experience points!
Cannon appears and blasts our heroes away! They are blasted to TFBG (Town for Bad Goombas).
Iggy: What happened?
What happened was that you two were just launched from a cannon. You will now have to switch out with Lemmy. Now you can’t finish each other’s sentences.
?: Hey you!
?: Yes you! I am Goombario! Prepare yourself!
Goombario 5/5 (Since when do they have HP?)
I shouldn’t have to say how this turns out.
Iggy: We won!
Me: Worst tutorial ever!
In the interest of “fairness”, Iggy and Lemmy swap out.
Lemmy: I finally get another line!
GG (Goombario’s Ghost): Continue on to the shrine, fools!
The heroes/villains continue on.
Chapter 1b: Boss, I mean Bosses, but
Back at the Mushroom Kingdom…
Mario: BWAHAHAHAHA! We captured the Koopas!
Luigi: Wouldn’t that make us the villains?
Mario: Oh shut up. Goombas!
Goombas: The Goomba squad is ready!
Luigi: Why are there Goombas?
Mario: Don’t you know anything? They are working for us now.
Me: To the dungeon!
In the dungeon…
Wendy: Ah! My looks are fading!
Morton: Wendy! Be quiet, shut up, desist, put a sock in it!
Larry: Why does Wendy get the good cell?
Ludwig: Elementary! Wendy is obviously the author’s favorite.
Me: That is correct!
Roy: Why do we have to depend on the weaklings?
Bowser: Don’t worry! Iggy and Lemmy will save us!
We’ll see how that goes.
Back with Mario and Luigi…
Luigi: That was a super cool move!
Mario: Iggy and Lemmy are doomed.
Luigi: Boss, I mean Bosses, but still Boss. That makes no sense.
Chapter 1c: She’s in it too?
Susan: La la la la. It’s time for me to visit my cousins.
She’s in it too?
Me: I like her more than the status quo.
A few minutes later…
Susan: Where is everyone?
Some Fallen Koopa (SFK): They were taken by Mario.
Susan: I’ll go rescue them!
SFK: No! You have no skill.
Susan: I’ll show you!
SFK: Good. Now I don’t have to pretend
Chapter 2a: The Adventure Begins!
The Adventure Begins!
Lemmy reaches the shrine. (They switched out. Remember?)
Star Spirits: We sort of have the power!
Eldstar: I am located in The Goomba Bros’ Fortress.
Lemmy: There’s a fortress for Goombas?
Eldstar: They are rebel Goombas.
Lemmy: I think I understand.
Eldstar: No you don’t
Iggy: To the fortress!
They somehow teleport.
Chapter 2b: Warning
Mario: Warning! Goomba Bros, Iggy and Lemmy are coming.
Goomba 1: We can defeat them.
Goomba 2: We’re tough.
Goomba 3: We rock!
Goomba 4: We’re going to lose.
Goomba 1-3: 0_0
Luigi: I wonder how the prisoners are doing.
Wendy: This is boring.
Morton: Boring, Lame, Stupid, Stinks.
Larry: Why are we in different cells?
Ludwig: They are keeping us away from each other.
Roy: Who cares?
Bowser: Shut up!
Chapter 2c: Dad, Dad
Susan: Dad. Dad!
Susan: The Koopalings were kidnapped.
Susan: You guys stink.
Next time Iggy and Lemmy destroy things. They even might defeat the Goomba Bros.