LEG ONE, Part 1
From the first episode…
Morton: Now, when Lemmy, my brother, sibling, and close relative, says “GO, START, COMMENSE”, we dash, speed over, run to, accelerate to the route marker, which we grab, take, and steal an envelope from. We rip, tear, and open the envelope, containing, consisting, and furthermore possessing a clue, hint, puzzle, along with coins, money, cash, and dough. We solve, interpret, and analyze this clue, hint, puzzle, in order to find, spot, and detect another route marker, where another clue, hint, and puzzle can be found. Now, if you save, preserve, and furthermore conserve the coins, money, cash, and dough, you can use and utilize it in future legs, segments, and portions of this AWESOME RACE!
Susan: Great speech, Morty!
Everyone Else: Zzzzzzz…
Lemmy: Uh… Lemmy’s Land is waiting for you, and, well, you know the rest. Ready? Set? GO!
Susan: Let’s go!
Morton: Indeed, most certainly, yes, of course!
Susan: C’mon!
AND NOW!
>>Team Talk-1st at Route Marker #1<<
Morton: Open the envelope, tear it open, rip it, right now, as I speak-
Susan: MORTY!
Morton: Stop, halt, cease, desist, and yield calling, naming, and referring to me as ”Morty”.
Susan: NO! *rip* Head over to Fun Fiction via Lemmy’s Land Airport.
Lemmy: Teams must make their way to my airport, booking tickets to Fun Fiction. Once there, they must seek my first Fun Fiction, “The Freeze Gun”. Ah, those were the days…
Susan: Let’s get a taxi before the others wake up!
Morton: TAXI!
Screech!
Driver: Where to?
Susan: The airport, and quickly!
Varoom!
>>Teams Mean,
Queen, Cream, Bean, Scheme, Cute, Steam, Mario, Cheat, Dream, What, Kong,
Cruel, and Fool<<
Lemmy: Um… You
can wake up now.
Everyone Else: Zzz…
Lemmy: Hello?
Everyone Else: Zzz…
Lemmy: WAKE UP, ALREADY!
…
Lemmy: Bacon?
Everyone wakes up, and scramble to find bacon.
The King: I think I found the bacon!
Luigi: That’s-a my shoe!
Ludwig: Where is the delectable product referred to as “bacon” located?
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAH! I’M AFRAID OF BACON!
Playful: I can’t believe you morons are so attached to such a disgusting food.
L33T: U NOOBZ DAR3 2 G3T IN TH3 WAY OF MY BACON?! U WILL SUFF3R TH3 CONS3QU3NC3S 4 DOING SO!
…
Iggy: Seriously, though, where is it?
Lemmy: Uh, well… I already gave the bacon away-
Bowser: YOU’RE GONNA DIE!
Gloomtail: Agreed!
Lemmy: -but, uh, you can steal it back!
Wario: I’m-a listening…
Lemmy: Yeah, I, uh, gave it to that guy!
Midbus: Hi!
…
Diddy: So… you’re a cannibal?
Midbus: Yeah, pretty much!
…
Diddy: Well, I’d love to stay here and chat, but we’re in the middle of a race, so…
Team Kong runs off to the route marker.
Birdo: FOLLOW THOSE APES!
>>Team Kong-2nd
at Route Marker #1<<
Diddy: *rip*…
Yay! We’re off to Fun Fiction!
DK: Okay!
>>Team Cruel-3rd
at Route Marker #1<<
Gloomtail: It
appears we’re heading to Fun Fiction!
Hooktail: It’s a good thing we have wings!
>>Team Dream-4th
at Route Marker #1<<
Bagels: To Fun
Fiction!
Playful: Those planes better have velvet seats, or I’m killing the Ticket Agent!
Bagels: You’re such a kidder!
Playful: I never kid…
>>Team Cute-5th
at Route Marker #1<<
Yoshi: Wow!
Screech!
Birdo: Great job, Yoshi!
Driver: Where to, cute little dino?
Birdo: We’re heading to the airport!
Varoom!
>>Team Steam-6th
at Route Marker #1<<
Roy: Hurry up,
pipsqueak!
Iggy: I would, but I think you broke my ribs!
>>Team Scheme-7th
at Route Marker #1<<
Larry: 500 coins?
That’s it?!
Ludwig: What can I say, Lemmy’s a cheapskate that way. Now, I suggest we call for a taxi.
Larry: Yeah, the last thing I want is to be beaten by Susan!
Ludwig: A horrific sight, I know.
>>Team Cheat-8th
at Route Marker #1<<
Wario: Let’s-a
go!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOING TO PLACES IS SCARY!
Wario: Whatever!
>>Team Bean-9th
at Route Marker #1<<
Kolorado: I say,
taxi!
Screech!
Driver: Where to?
Kolorado: The airport, sport!
Bowyer: Catch up we will, nyah!
>>Team Mean-10th
at Route Marker #1<<
Bowser: WE’RE
NOT IN LAST!
Wart: Ribbit, let’s keep it that way!
>>Team Queen-11th
at Route Marker #1<<
Wendy: WAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Clawdia: What’s wrong, sweetie?
Wendy: I broke a fingernail… AGAIN!
Clawdia: Oh, if only a taxi were here.
…
Clawdia: It… didn’t work? Weird…
>>Team Cream-12th
at Route Marker #1<<
Peach: To Fun
Fiction!
Toad: Ok!
>>Team Fool-13th
at Route Marker #1<<
Xananab: We’re
near last place place bo bace, fanana!
L33T: TH3N L3T’S GO!
>>Team Mario-14th
at Route Marker #1<<
Luigi: Well,
Mario, I hope-a your happy! We’re near last-a place!
Mario: I’m-a the superstar!
Luigi: No, you’re-a not!
Mario: Let’s-a go!
>>Team What-Last
at Route Marker #1<<
Daisy: Dad, we’re
losing!
The King: Actually, you’re gaining!
Daisy: Gaining what?
The King: Pounds.
Daisy: ARGH!
>>Team Talk<<
Driver: -AND
STAY OUT!
Varoom!
Susan: The nerve of that guy…
Morton: Uh, Susan, cousin, relative, niece of my father, daughter of my father’s brother, sister of-
Susan: What?
Morton: We’re here.
Susan turns around to see the airport.
Susan: Oh, goody!
>>Team Kong<<
Diddy: Taxi!
Screech!
Driver: I don’t like monkeys!
Varoom!
Diddy: This stinks!
>>Team Cruel<<
Hooktail: Hey,
look, the airport!
Gloomtail: We’re not aiming for the airport.
Hooktail: We aren’t?
Gloomtail: No, we’re heading to Fun Fiction.
Lemmy: Team Cruel has a serious lead, as they don’t even have to book a flight. This spells trouble for the other teams! A lot of it!
>>Team Dream<<
Bagels: Let’s
run!
Playful: Let’s not!
Bagels: Awww…
Playful: Taxi!
Screech!
Driver: No pets allowed!
Varoom!
Playful: Stupid driver…
Screech!
Driver: I HEARD THAT!
Varoom!
>>Team Cute<<
Screech!
Driver: Welcome to Lemmy’s Land Airport! Thank you for choosing me, Driver, to be your driver! Have a nice day!
Varoom!
Yoshi: Driver nice. Yoshi like him!
Birdo: Me too!
Team Cute dashes toward the airport, only to see…
Susan: Hey Yoshi, Birdo, what a surprise to see you here!
Morton: Yes, what a strange, unusual, and otherwise odd meeting, encounter, and stumbling-upon this is!
Birdo: Yeah, we were just going to book a flight!
Susan: Us too!
Yoshi: Teams Cute and Talk work together. It help solve clues faster!
Morton: Great idea, good thinking, way to solve our problems, kudos to-
Birdo: Let’s do it!
>>Team Steam<<
Roy: Taxi!
Screech!
Iggy: To the airport!
Roy: How dare you steal my line!
WALLOP!
Iggy: OW!
Varoom!
>>Team Scheme<<
Larry: Taxi!
Screech!
Ludwig: We request a ride to the airport.
Varoom!
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: If there’s
one thing I’m good at stealing from others, it’s tactics! I can’t believe
we were able to hitch a ride on the back of their taxi so easily. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU’RE SCARY!
Wario: Shut up, they’ll hear you!
>>Team Mean<<
Bowser: TAXI!
…
Wart: Taxi, ribbit!
…
Bowser: Stupid game…
>>Team Queen<<
Clawdia: For
the hundredth time, TAXI!
Screech!
Wendy: Finally!
>>Team Cream<<
Toad: TAXI!
Screech!
Driver: Uh… Anyone here?
Toad: Down… here…
The Driver looks under his taxi, only to see that he ran over Toad.
Driver: Woopsy Daisy!
Peach: Daisy? Where?
Driver: Oooh, Princess Peach! I finally found you!
Peach: Um…
Driver: Please, come in, and take your roadkill with you.
Peach: You mean Toad?
Driver: Uh… sure.
Varoom!
>>Team Fool<<
Xananab: Taxi
taxi bo baxi!
Screech!
L33T: 2 TH3 AIRPORT!
Varoom!
>>Team Mario<<
Mario: I’m-a
Mario!
Screech!
Driver: Where to, Mr. Mario?
Mario: To-a the airport!
Luigi: Wow, you actually did-a something right!
Mario: In Pasta Land!
Luigi: Of course.
Varoom!
>>Team What<<
Daisy: TAXI!
Screech!
Driver: Hello, Daisy. Which destination would you like to travel to?
Daisy: Um… Why do you sound like Ludwig?
Driver: It is because I am Ludwig’s robotic twin.
Daisy: So… he created you?
Driver: That is correct.
Daisy: Then why haven’t you blown up yet?
Driver: Self-Destruction activated. T-5, 4, 3, 2, 1-
The King: Happy Birthday!
KA-BOOM!
>>Teams Talk and
Cute<<
Morton: We would
like, prefer, and appreciate four, cuatro, and three plus one tickets to
Fun, Exciting, and Exhilarating Fiction!
…
Ticket Agent: Uh… I’m not sure that that section exists, but we do have four tickets to Fun Fiction.
Birdo: When’s the earliest flight?
Ticket Agent: Three ‘o clock.
Yoshi: It 2:30 now.
Susan: We’ll take it!
>>Team Cruel<<
Hooktail: How
much longer do we have to fly? I’m tired!
Gloomtail: Just a little further, Sis, just a little further…
>>Team Steam<<
Iggy: We’d like
two tickets to Fun Fiction, please!
Roy: Y’know, you won’t get anything in life with manners like that!
Ticket Agent: Here’s your tickets, scheduled at three ‘o clock. In fact, you were so nice, you can keep the tickets for free!
Iggy: You were saying?
>>Teams Scheme
and Cheat<<
Screech!
Larry: Here we are!
Wario: OUGHTA MY WAY!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAYS ARE SCARY!
Ludwig: Let us make haste!
With that, the two teams race each other to the ticket booth, jostling each other to be in first.
Ticket Agent: HALT!
They stop-
Waluigi: AAAAAH! I’M AFRAID OF STOPPING!
-kinda…
Ticket Agent: First, you, with the outrageous hairdo.
Ludwig: We request two tickets to Fun Fiction.
Ticket Agent: And you, fatty.
Wario: What they said, and also…
ZAP!
Ticket Agent: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAAAAAAAAAAAAG!
Wario: … We get to go for free, since you called the great Wario fat!
Larry: Good work!
Ludwig: Indeed.
>>Team Bean<<
Screech!
Wario: Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.
Bowyer: Been here earlier we would’ve, but to many Burger Kings our taxi driver went!
Roy: They have Burger Kings on Plit?
Larry: Apparently. It’s a vegetarian’s nightmare!
…
Kolorado: I’ll get the tickets, old bean!
Five minutes later…
Bowyer: Successful were you?
Kolorado: Yes, I was successful. I got two tickets for three ‘o clock!
Bowyer: Is it what time?
Ludwig: If you’re asking for the time, it’s 2:55.
>>Team Queen<<
Clawdia: Please,
give us your earliest flight, stat!
Ticket Agent: Well, here’s a three ‘o clock flight, but you only have a minute to catch it.
Wendy: How far is it from here?
Ticket Agent: It’s on the other side of the airport.
Wendy: D’oh!
>>Team Cream<<
Screech!
Peach: Um… This doesn’t look like the airport…
Driver: Of course not!
The Driver casts a spell, to reveal his true form as…
Peach: KAMEK?!
Kamek: That’s right, Princess!
Toad: YAY!
Peach: SHUT UP!
Toad: OK!
Kamek: So, you’re probably wondering what I’m doing, impersonating a driver and all.
Peach: You’re luring me to the Koopa Kastle in order to make us lose the race, allowing Bowser to win, and also to keep me imprisoned so you can get on Bowser’s good side?
…
Kamek: Man, you sound like Morton.
Peach: TAKE THAT BACK!
SLAP!
Peach: AND THIS!
SMACK!
Peach: AND MY FAMOUS SUPER SMASH BROS. SPECIAL!
HI-CHA!
Kamek: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
>>Team Mean<<
Bowser: Hey,
can ya give us a lift?
Driver: What’s the magic words?
Bowser: Do so or I’ll kill you?
Driver: Eh, close enough!
Wart: Ribbit, let’s win this!
>>Team Fool<<
Screech!
Xananab: This is the wrong location location bo bocation, fana!
L33T: Y3AH, THIS IS “W3IRDO3S R US”! WHAT GIV3S?!
Driver: I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Varoom!
L33T: THIS IS BAD!
>>Team Mario<<
Luigi: YOU JUST
PASSED THE AIRPORT!
Driver: But it’s not in Pasta Land, is it?
>>Teams Kong and
Dream<<
Bagels: Hey,
look, the Kongs!
Playful: Great, more fleabags!
Diddy: Technically, we don’t have fleas!
Playful: Technically, I don’t care!
DK: Ok!
Screech!
Funky Kong: Hey, man, need a lift?
Diddy: Do we ever!
Varoom!
Bagels: I was hoping they’d take us with them…
>>Teams Talk,
Cute, Steam, Scheme, Cheat, Bean, and Queen<<
Wendy: We made
it!
The teams enter their plane.
Lemmy: These seven teams are making their way to Fun Fiction, a ways behind Team Cruel, but way ahead of Teams Mario, What, Cream, Mean, Kong, Dream, and Fool.
>>Team Cruel<<
Gloomtail: Welcome
to Fun Fiction!
Hooktail: Yeah, but what’s Lemmy’s first Fun Fiction, though?
Gloomtail: Well, according to this biography I stole from some random civilian, it should be titled “The Freeze Gun”.
>>Team Cream<<
Kamek: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Peach: So… now what?
Toad: We could use Kamek’s broom!
Peach: Shut up, I’m thinking!
Toad: OK!
>>Teams What,
Mean, and Kong<<
Screech! CRASH!
Screech!
Daisy: Wow, what an explosion!
The King: Yay, a promotion!
Daisy: Why do I even bother?
Diddy: Let’s get some tickets!
Bowser: NOT BEFORE US!
Wart: What he said, ribbit!
Daisy: Let’s go, Dad!
The King: I’m a father? Woah, I wasn’t ready for this!
Daisy: Neither was I to be your daughter…
One dash later…
Diddy: Two tickets to Fun Fiction, please.
Daisy: Us too!
Wart: Don’t forget about us, ribbit!
Ticket Agent: Our earliest flight is 3:15. Will that do?
Diddy: What time is it?
Ticket Agent: 3:10.
DK: Cool!
Ticket Agent: So, that’ll be four tickets to Fun Fiction?
Bowser: Don’t you mean six?
Ticket Agent: What, you think I don’t remember what you did last time you were on one of our planes?
Bowser: Uh… yes?
...
Ticket Agent: My cousin was the pilot-
Wart: Darn, ribbit.
Ticket Agent: -and it’s about time for me to get revenge.
…
Diddy: Uh… We’ll leave you guys to chat.
Teams Kong and What leave.
>>Team Mario<<
Luigi: FOR THE
LAST-A TIME, WE’RE-A HEADING TO LEMMY’S LAND AIRPORT!
Driver: But Mario-
Luigi: “BUT MARIO” NOTHING!
…
Driver: NOBODY INSULTS MY HERO! NOBODY!
Luigi: Uh oh…
Mario: Mamamia!
>>Team Dream<<
Playful: TAXI!
…
Bagels: I think we should run.
Playful: I think we should ride.
Screech!
Playful: Finally!
Driver: Sorry, no pets allow-
Playful: Drive, or I’ll kill you.
…
Driver: Hop in.
Bagels: Yay!
>>Team Fool<<
Xananab: So…
this “Weirdoes R Us” has a taxi service service bo bervice?
Manager: Yep!
L33T: SO U CAN TAK3 US 2 OUR D3STINATION?!
Manager: Yep!
Xananab: Can we get to this service, nana?
Manager: Yep!
L33T: Y3S!
>>Team Cream<<
Peach: I got
it!
Toad: What is it?
Peach: We can use Kamek’s broom!
Toad: Isn’t that what I just said?
Peach: Shut up!
Toad: OK!
>>Teams Talk,
Cute, Steam, Scheme, Cheat, Bean, and Queen<<
The seven said
teams exit their plane.
Waluigi: I’M AFRAID OF NARRATIONS!
Bowyer: Shut up you should, nyah!
Larry: Hey, don’t we have a race to run?
Roy: Don’t you have a pounding to endure?
Ludwig: Nice vocabulary, sibling.
Roy: Huh?
Ludwig: Never mind…
Yoshi: Ooh, Yoshi know where teams go!
Clawdia: Where?
Yoshi: Well, it-
Susan: Taxi!
Screech!
Susan: Yoshi, whisper it to the driver.
He does so, and the two teams drive off.
Kolorado: Well, I see we’re in a fix, old beans…
>>Team Cruel-1st
at Route Marker #2<<
Gloomtail: Let’s
see where we must go next. *rip*
Hooktail: Well?
Gloomtail: We must head to… Lemmy’s only Fun Fiction written in Latin!
Lemmy: Teams must now head over to my only Fun Fiction written in Latin, “Ludwigus Potest Esse Bonus”, or “Ludwig Can Be Good”.
Hooktail: So… what Fun Fiction is that?
Gloomtail: According to this map of Lemmy’s Land I found in this biography, it should be… “Ludwigus Potest Esse Bonus”.
Hooktail: Translation?
Gloomtail: Ludwig Can Be Good.
Hooktail: I think that’s right around the corner from here!
Gloomtail: Then let’s go!
>>Team Cream<<
Peach: Wow, this
broom’s fast!
Toad: Hey, while we’re at it, let’s just head over to Fun Fiction! I mean, there’s no point in booking a fight when we have this!
Peach: NO!
Toad: YAY!
Peach: SHUT UP!
Toad: OK!
>>Team Mario<<
Screech!
Driver: HERE, LEMMY’S LAND AIRPORT! HAPPY?!
Luigi: I would-a be more happy if you hadn’t broken my-a arm…
Mario: Okey Dokey!
Luigi: Well… let’s-a just book a flight…
>>Teams Dream
and Fool<<
Screech! Screech!
Playful: Let’s walk!
Bagels: But you promised me that we’d run!
Playful: Well, I lied.
Xananab: C’mon c’mon bo b’mon!
L33T: COMING!
“Weirdoes R Us” Driver: Now, ya’ll come back to “Weirdoes R Us”, ya hear? Hyuk hyuk hyuk!
The two teams dash (except for Playful, who’s walking) over to the ticket booth.
Ticket Agent: Here’s your tickets!
Luigi: Thanks!
Mario: CHEESE!
Luigi facepalms.
Ticket Agent: NEXT!
Bagels: We’d like two tickets to Fun Fiction, and on your earliest flight, please!
Ticket Agent: Sorry, we sold our last tickets of the day to Team Mario over there.
Mario: Oh, I lost!
Luigi: For the last time, we’re only in eleventh place!
Mario: I’m-a the winner!
…
L33T: R U KIDDING M3?!
Ticket Agent: No, I’m not. Now, if you want to get to Fun Fiction, I suggest that you get in the catapult with your friends.
Team Mean waves.
Bagels: MASTER BOWSER!
Bagels runs off, dragging Playful by the tail. Team Fool soon follows.
Ticket Agent: Ready?
Wart: No, ribbit.
Ticket Agent: Good. Three, two, one, LAUNCH!
FLING!
Teams Mean, Dream, and Fool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>Team Cruel-1st
at Whomp Stop<<
Gloomtail: Here
we are!
Hooktail: Look, a Whomp Stop!
Hooktail bends down to read it.
Lemmy: A Whomp Stop is a task that only one team member may perform. In this Whomp Stop, teams must translate one of the Latin lines in this Fun Fiction’s script to English.
Hooktail: This member must be good with words.
Gloomtail: That’d be me!
***
Koopa: Mr. Gloomtail, your line is “Ego sum ieiunus.”
Gloomtail: In English, that’d be “I am hungry.”
Koopa: Correct. Here’s your clue.
The Koopa hands Gloomtail a clue.
Gloomtail: Good.
Hooktail: So… where are we heading?
Gloomtail: Well, we’re heading to… *rip* …Lemmy’s Mysteries!
Lemmy: Teams must now make their way to my Mysteries, and find the Mystery that is, out of all the Mysteries made by me, alphabetically last. That Mystery would be “Walrus Woes”.
Hooktail: Do you know where that is?
Gloomtail: Well, according to this biography, we must head to-
A strong gust commences, sending the book to a faraway land.
Gloomtail: So much for that…
>>Teams Talk and
Cute-2nd and 3rd at Route Marker #2<<
Morton: So, where
must we go, head, travel, venture, tour, and dash, speed, and run over
to next?
…
Birdo: Susan, how do you deal with this guy?
Susan: Practice.
Birdo: Oh.
Morton: Hey, are you guys even listening, hearing, and opening your ears, figuratively speaking, to what I have to say, speak, talk about, and-
Yoshi: *rip* Teams go to Lemmy’s only Fun Fiction in Latin.
Birdo: What’s that?
Yoshi: Yoshi no know.
Morton: I too am stumped, puzzled, and furthermore confused by this clue, but I should know because I like, love, and cherish foreign languages, since speaking them is fun and it’s fun to talk in different ways, and also-
Susan: I think we should ask the nearby tourists.
Birdo: Good idea!
>>Teams What,
Kong, and Mario<<
The three teams
mentioned above board their plane.
The King: This golf simulator is fun!
Luigi: This is-a gonna be a loooooooooong flight!
>>Team Cream<<
Peach: Two tickets
to Fun Fiction, and on your greatest private jet… NOW!
Toad: Um… Don’t you think you’re being a little… unreasonable?
Peach: DON’T ARGUE WITH ME!
Toad: OK!
…
Ticket Agent: Right away, ma’am.
Toad: 0_0
Ticket Agent: Yeah, I get that a lot.
>>Teams Steam,
Scheme, Cheat, Bean, and Queen<<
Ludwig: Siblings,
mother, and other imbeciles, I believe I detected the way to the next route
marker!
Bowyer: An imbecile I’m not, nyah.
Kolorado: That’s aside the point, old bean.
Ludwig: Indeed, Kolorado. These tracks, according to recent calculations, lead us to Teams Talk and Cute, who should be at the second route marker.
Roy: Huh?
Ludwig: These tracks lead us to the place we must go next.
Roy: Why didn’t you just say so?
…
Teams Steam, Cheat, Bean, and Queen begin walking down this path.
Larry: Aren’t you coming?
Ludwig: No.
Larry: Why not?
Ludwig: That path leads to an alternate location.
Larry: So… you tricked them?
Ludwig: Exactly.
Ludwig calls for a taxi, and the schemers drive off to “The Freeze Gun” (yes, Ludwig knew to go there all this time).
>>Teams Mean,
Dream, and Fool<<
CRASH!
Bowser: THAT HURT!
Xananab: I think I bruised my peel, fana.
Playful: I can’t believe I forgot to kill the Ticket Agent! That catapult was so not made of velvet!
…
Wart: Now where do we go, ribbit?
L33T: W3LL, WHIL3 U NOOBZ W3R3 SCR3AMING LIK3 LITTL3 GIRLS, I WAS ABL3 2 HACK MY WAY INTO L3MMY’S LAND! ACCORDING 2 MY R3S3ARCH, W3 MUST HEAD 2 “TH3 FR33Z3 GUN”!
Playful: Save it for the taxi!
Bagels: Taxi!
Screech!
Bowser: WE’RE GONNA WIN!
Wart: Ribbit, hopefully.
>>Team Cruel<<
Gloomtail: So…
now what?
Hooktail: How about we ask some of these minions to help us!
Gloomtail: Well, it couldn’t hurt…
***
Gloomtail: Hey, weakling, I have a question for you!
Shy Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, A DRAGON!
The Shy Guy faints.
Gloomtail: This is harder than I thought.
Hooktail: You think? That’s the fifth time this happened to you!
Gloomtail: What can I say, I have a bad reputation.
>>Teams Talk and
Cute<<
Susan: Hey, do
you know a Fun Fiction that’s written in Latin?
Chuck Quizmo: Can Mario level-up after receiving 100 experience points in Paper Mario?
Birdo: Is that a yes?
Chuck Quizmo: Can Ukiki fly?
A Bob-omb blows up near some Ukiki, who soars off into space.
Yoshi: That yes!
Morton: Great, wonderful, wondrous, awesome, cool, gnarly, spectacular, kooptacular, and, most of all-
Susan: Which Fun Fiction’s in Latin, then?
Chuck Quizmo: I dunno, but you can ask that cheapskate over there.
Susan: Thanks… sort of…
***
Birdo: Do you know of a Fun Fiction that’s in Latin?
Chet Rippo: No, but do you want to increase your HP?
Susan: No.
Chet Rippo: FP?
Birdo: No.
Chet Rippo: BP?
Morton: No, nuh-uh, not a chance, not in a millennium, not even for-
Chet Rippo: SMUP?
Yoshi: Now weirdo make stuff up!
Chet Rippo: Actually, it’s “Shut Morton Up Points”.
Birdo: Hmmmm… tempting…
Morton: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>Team Cream<<
Team Cream exits
their ride.
Toad: YAY!
Peach: Ugh!
Toad: Peach, I happen to know that we’re off to ”The Freeze Gun”!
Peach: How’d you figure that out?
Toad: The pilot told me!
Peach: Oh…
>>Teams What,
Kong, and Mario<<
Pilot: Here we
are, Fun Fiction; and only fifty passengers died along the way! That’s
a new record!
Daisy: You know that we can hear you, right?
Pilot: Just leave, already! My shift’s over!
Diddy: Someone’s cranky today, and for once, it isn’t Great Grandpa Cranky!
DK: Cool!
The teams exit their plane.
Luigi: Look, Team-a Cream-a has a taxi!
Varoom!
Read
on!
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