Mega Mario Party

By P.T. Piranha

Episode 1: Cruise Control

One day Mario was going for a walk when he saw Toadsworth.

Toadsworth: I say, Master Mario, you’re just the chap I wanted to see!

Mario: Oh! Hello-a, Toadsworth!

Toadsworth: I have some tickets for you! I’ve booked you and sixteen friends of your choice for a cruise on the MSS Sea Star as thanks for recently saving us from the likes of Bowser after he ate the Grand Stars, as well as that nasty Dark Star and that dreadful Void!

Mario: Woohoo! Just what I-a needed!

Toadsworth: Oh yes, but it’s quite different than that, Mario! You’re in for a new kind of party!

Mario: A new a-kind of party? Mamamia, let’s-a go!


Mario: Luigi! Pack your a-bags! We’re a-going on another cruise!

Luigi: Really? All right!

Mario: And a-call everyone!

Luigi: Everyone?

Mario: Everyone who a-would be interested in another a-Mario Party.

Luigi: Okeydokey.


Peach: A new Mario Party? That sounds fun!


Daisy: All right, time to prove I’m the Party Star!


Toad: Okay! Hey Toadette, we’re going on a cruise-slash-Mario Party!

Toadette: Woohoo!


Yoshi: Yay! Cruise fun!


Birdo: This party idea sounds simply fabulous, Luigi. I’ll be right over.


Wario: Wahaha! Come on, Waluigi, we’ve got a party to crash!

Waluigi: But are we really crashing if we’re invited?

Wario: … Shut up!


Boo: Yes!


Dry Bones: You want me to go? … ‘Kay.


Hammer Bro.: Another Mario Party? AWESOME! I’ll be right there!


Blooper: Eh, I guess so.


Koopa: Really? I’m invited to the party? Sweet!


Shy Guy: Huh? Me? Uh, I guess so, sure. Okay.




Koopa Kid: Lord Bowser! Did you hear? You’re not invited to Mario’s new party!

Bowser: WHAT?! AGAIN?! GRRRRR!!! Curse that Mario!

Koopa Kid: Shall we go ruin their fun?

Bowser: No, I’m too busy for that. But you can go! Go to their party and mess everything up for me!

Koopa Kid: What if I lose?

Bowser: Then use your secret technique, doofus! Do I have to do all the thinking around here or what?!

Koopa Kid: Okay!


Soon everyone was gathered at Toad Town Docks, except for Koopa Kid. The MSS Sea Star pulls up with a familiar face at the bow.

MC Ballyhoo: Hello, my favorite party animals! Are you ready for a Mario Party unlike any you’ve ever seen?

Everyone: YES!

MC Ballyhoo: That’s what I like to hear, isn’t that right?

Big Top: Yep.

MC Ballyhoo: Ha, ha, ha! Everyone board the ship and we’ll get started!

So everyone comes aboard the ship and it sets off.

Ballyhoo: Ah, yes. Good times.

Daisy: So what’s this new Mario Party already?

Ballyhoo: I’m glad you asked! … Hello, viewers at home!

Boo: What are you talking about?

Ballyhoo: This party is televised! You’re going to play a different kind of Mario Party than usual!

Shy Guy: Uh, what do you mean?

Ballyhoo: Well, with the typical Mario Party, your mini games take place in alternate realities created by the power of the Stars or designated areas for the event. I thought, “how can we mix this up”? Because you know how I like crazily mixing things up for excitement! So this time, we’re making the mini games happen right on the boards themselves!

Dry Bones: Like… didn’t we already have those sometimes?

Hammer Bro.: Yeah man, what’s the difference?

Ballyhoo: I’m glad you asked that too! These mini games take up the entire game! All of you will compete in teams to fulfill these mini games! If you win a mini game, you get a Star! If you get last place, you lose!

Birdo: So tell me, Ballyhoo darling, what’s the aim here?

Big Top: You have to win Stars, or else we’ll leave you behind when the ship leaves! You’ll find a warp pipe back to your home.

Toad: So you mean…

Big Top: If your team loses the mini game, one of you has to stop partying.

Ballyhoo: And the winner becomes the Grandmaster Party Star!

Mario: Let’s-a go!

Ballyhoo: That’s the spirit, everybody!

???: Not so fast!

Koopa Kid drops from the sky.

Koopa Kid: I saw how all of you ignored His Majesty, King Bowser! You’ll all pay for that! I’m going to enter this and become the Grandmaster Party Star to set right what went wrong!

Everyone gasps.

Luigi: Mamamia!

Wario: What’s that brat doing here?

Waluigi: I dunno.

Ballyhoo: Well, you want to come with us? The more the merrier, all are welcome in Mega Mario Party!

Koopa Kid: Yes!

Toad: But he’s a villain!

Koopa Kid: Hey!

Big Top: Hey, if he wants to party, he’s allowed.

Ballyhoo: Now before we get to our first board, it’s time for an introductory mini game! I call it, “Cruise Control”! Everyone follow me!

Everyone follows Ballyhoo to another area of the deck.

Ballyhoo: All righty! Now if everyone would be so kind, please hit this dice block!

Everyone takes turns hitting the dice block. They get:
Mario - 1
Luigi - 8
Peach - 5
Daisy - 5
Toad - 4
Toadette - 5
Yoshi - 4
Birdo - 5
Wario - 2
Waluigi - 7
Boo - 9
Dry Bones - 3
Hammer Bro. - 1
Blooper - 3
Koopa - 5
Shy Guy - 6
DK - 5
Koopa Kid - 10

Ballyhoo: Hmm… Everyone who got an odd number besides 5 will be Team 1!

Big Top: Mario, Waluigi, Boo, Dry Bones, Hammer Bro., and Blooper!

Mario: Mamamia!

Waluigi: Oh great, I got Mario…

Boo: Hey guys, don’t worry about it! This’ll be great!

Dry Bones: I guess so. I mean, we’re still on a team, right?

Boo: Yeah!

Hammer Bro.: Totally! We’re going to DOMINATE!

Blooper: Take it easy, Frat Bro., we haven’t even started yet.

Ballyhoo: If you got an even number, you’re on Team 2!

Big Top: Luigi, Toad, Yoshi, Wario, Shy Guy, and Koopa Kid.

Luigi: Oh yeah, Luigi time!

Toad: Right behind you!

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Wario: Wahaha! No worries, now that I’m on this team, we’ll become the Party Stars in no time!

Shy Guy: Um… I guess that’s good, then…

Koopa Kid: Ha!

Ballyhoo: And since so many people got a 5, they’re their own team!

Big Top: Peach, Daisy, Toadette, Birdo, DK, and Koopa.

Peach: How exciting!

Daisy: Time to win this thing!

Toadette: You bet!

Birdo: Marvelous.


Koopa: Yeah, let’s do this thing!

Ballyhoo: Teams, you’ll have to decide your names now.

*Team 1*

Boo: Hey, two of us are dead and two of us have mustaches! Add in the fact that the last two debuted in Mario Party 8, I say we’re Team Zombie Fuzz 8!

Dry Bones: Eh.

Mario/Waluigi/Blooper: NO.

Ballyhoo: Accepted!

Big Top: Team 1 is now Zombie Fuzz 8!

Waluigi: Oh, nice going, Boo!

Boo: What? It has a nice ring to it!

Blooper: Yeah, if by nice you mean stupid.

*Team 2*

Toad: We’re basically an all-star dream team, guys! We’ve got Luigi, Yoshi, and Wario, who have been in every major Mario Party! Then there’s me and Koopa Kid! Then Shy Guy!

Wario: I say we name this team after me and my gloriousness!

Koopa Kid: That’s super lame! And you’re super lame for thinking of it!

Wario: Quiet, you!

Yoshi: What Shy Guy think?

Shy Guy: Uhhh… I dunno…

Luigi: I have an idea!

Shy Guy: The… Party Kings?

Big Top: Team 2 is now The Party Kings!

Wario: Hey, it refers to me as a king, so I’m good!

Toad: I’m cool with it!

Koopa Kid: Yeah, me too.

Luigi: Aww, but I had such a great idea…

*Team 3*


Koopa: No.

Birdo: I have an idea! Three of us are pink, and the other two are yellow. Plus in one of his games, DK was associated with yellow; I say we use that as a basis for our name.

Toadette: Good thinking, Birdo!

Peach: I like it.

Daisy: Eh, sounds lame.

Toadette: The Pink n’ Yellow Brigade!

Big Top: Team 3 is now the Pink n’ Yellow Brigade!

Ballyhoo: Excellent! So Big Top, would you like to recap that?

Big Top: Calculating team data…

Team 1: “Zombie Fuzz 8”
Mario, Waluigi, Boo, Dry Bones, Hammer Bro., Blooper
Team 2: “The Party Kings”
Luigi, Toad, Yoshi, Wario, Shy Guy, Koopa Kid
Team 3: “Pink n’ Yellow Brigade”
Peach, Daisy, Toadette, Birdo, DK, Koopa

Big Top: I’d suggest getting used to your teammates, you’ll all be staying together in the rooms on this ship.

Ballyhoo: All righty then! Looks like this party is raring to go, and it’s a rare chance to go on this party! Something even rarer- We’re going to go back to some of the old boards you all partied on back in the day!

Everyone but two: Oooh…

Koopa: I never partied. Just hosted.

Shy Guy: Uh, me too.

Ballyhoo: Then this will surely get you started with a bang!

Big Top: Our first destination is Pyramid Park.

Ballyhoo: You can say that again, my friend! Because we’ve reached the dock now! Come on, everyone!

Everyone starts getting off the ship. Koopa Kid is the last one to do so, he pulls out a crystal ball.

Koopa Kid: Hey! King Bowser! Did you get all that?

Bowser: I sure did! Bwahaha! Once you become the Grandmaster Party Star, no one will be able to get in the way of the Koopa Kingdom! Do your best to win, and I’ll try to help cheat for you.

Koopa Kid: Yes sir!

With that, Koopa Kid puts the crystal ball away and hurries after everyone else.

Koopa Kid: Wait for me!

Ballyhoo: Uh oh! Looks like some treachery is afoot! But fear not! For I, your master of catastrophes, have all the cards! And they’re all full houses! How will everything play out? Tune in and find out on the first episode of Mega Mario Party!

Big Top: Remember, it’s mega fun!

Read on!

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