CHAPTER 1: SCRUBBING DOWN PLACK BEACH
Punchinello: So Bowser’s Castle is nowhere near here. Hmm. I guess I should keep looking. Huh?
Punchinello spots a Chuboomba and a Toothy.
Punchinello: Easy kill. FALCON PUNCH!
Punchinello runs towards the Toothy but he does not do a Falcon Punch but still manages to break the Toothy. Although all the enemies spot him and start beating him up.
10 minutes later…
Punchinello: Why the pain?
Punchinello gets back up and starts walking around the beach.
Punchinello: This beach is starting to sicken me. I better get out of here now!
Broque Monsieur: Ah, sweet monsieur! 'Elp me! I need 'elp! Helpez-moi, s'il vous plait!
Punchinello: ! GOOD GRIEF, A TALKING BLOCK!
Broque Monsieur: Please do not be afraid Monsieur eh… Bob-omb?
Punchinello: I’m not a Bob-omb!
Broque Monsieur: Excuze moi, Monsieur. But anyways, ‘ELP MOI S’IL VOUS PLAIT!
Punchinello: Look man, I’m in a hurry, so too bad.
Broque Monsieur: WAIT! I’ll give you zis Vacuum Block.
Punchinello: What’s so special about it?
Broque Monsieur: It iz a rare block, Monsieur. People will pay millions for it, but it will help you on your journey Monsieur… Eggplant?
Punchinello: I’m not an eggplant either! Look, what do I have to do?
Broque Monsieur: Pull ze rope, Monsieur!
Punchinello: That’ll be easy!
Punchinello starts pulling.
In Punchinello’s body…
Starlow: Look! A new place has just opened.
Knife Guy: Then let’s go.
THE MUSCLE PLANT
They see a muscle but it is surrounded by metal that makes the muscle move in different directions. The metal is not touching the muscle but is surrounding it.
Booster: Weird…! Hey. What’s this cannon do?
Starlow: BOOSTER, NO!
The cannon shoots what looks like a Lil Sparky at the muscle, but the steel reflects it back. Snifit 1 quickly pulls out a tennis racket and hits it back but another steel part hits it back. Snifit 2 pulls out a baseball bat and hits it back really hard and it hits the muscle. An electric impulse is sent throughout the Muscle Plant. Suddenly the steel parts around the muscle squeeze it, making the muscle get bigger.
Punchinello: Huh? I feel more power flowing through me.
The cannon starts shooting more Lil Sparkies but the Snifits deflect them all back at the muscle and the steel parts give it another squeeze to make it bigger.
Punchinello: ANY MINUTE NOW!
The cannon shoots out a Hothead this time. Snifit 1 hits it back but the steel part knocks it back. Snifit 2 quickly hits it back but it bounces of the metal. Both Snifits hit it with extreme force and it hits the muscle, causing a huge burning sensation that causes the muscle to expand to its fullest.
Punchinello: ! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Punchinello pulls hard and drags the island Broque Monsieur is stranded on all the way back to the main land, though the island also smacks Punchinello.
Broque Monsieur: Ah, zee world, it iz upside down.
Punchinello: Well? Where’s my reward?
Broque Monsieur: Ah, right. Merci, Monsieur… What iz your name?
Punchinello: Name’s Nello, PUNCHINELLO.
Broque: Ah. ‘Ere’s your reward, Monsieur Punchy.
Punchinello: I guess that’ll do.
YOU GOT THE VACUUM BLOCK.
Broque Monsieur: Zo not worry. I’ll teach you how to use it.
Broque Monsieur rotates his head.
Broque: Now we vill battle. UN, DEUX, TROIS!
Vs. Broque Monsieur
Broque Monsieur: Now all you have to do iz inhale moi.
Broque Monsieur: Oui, Monsieur. Just breathe in as hard az you can.
Punchinello starts inhaling so hard he’s able to inhale Broque Monsieur.
Grate Guy: Huh? What the?
Broque Monsieur: Bonjour Monsieurs! Zorry to be rude, but I must leave now.
Snifit 1: WAIT! DON’T LEAVE US!
Punchinello: Huh? Bleech.
Broque Monsieur: Excellent, Monsieur Punchy.
Punchinello: Is that all?
Broque Monsieur: I can tell you have had a rough time with battling. So you battle moi.
Punchinello: Fine. Bring it on.
Broque Monsieur throws a brick block at Punchinello. Punchinello punches it but Broque Monsieur quickly tackles him, which really doesn’t do much, so Punchinello just punches him again. Broque Monsieur takes out a ? Block and out comes a Mega Mushroom. Broque starts charging at Punchinello but he simply punches his body away. He then starts beating on Broque’s head. The body quickly picks up the head and Broque shrinks. Broque pulls out another ? Block but this time a Fire Flower comes out and Broque starts throwing fireballs at Punchinello and Punchinello starts running around in circles. Broque quickly fires one at his foot, causing Punchinello to fall down and leaving him vulnerable. Broque keeps shooting fireballs but Punchinello punches one back at him. This it doesn’t affect Broque but Punchinello gets close enough to slash at him three times.
Broque Monsieur: Enough. You have done well, Monsieur. Here’s a little present from moi.
YOU GOT A RETRY CLOCK 2.O
Punchinello: What’s this?
Broque Monsieur: When you feel you’ve messed up in battle and needz to retry at the point where you messed up, use zis clock. It is what you call ZE DO OVER!
Battle Over. +70 EXP.
Broque : It iz time to leave. Au revoir, Monsieur Punchy.
Broque: ! Oui?
Punchinello: What should I inhale when I’m in battle?
Broque: Ah, you have to use your best judgment, Monsieur. Zat iz all up to you. Farewell, Monsieur.
Punchinello: Well that just stinks. Well, might as well move on.
Punchinello, confident in his skills, starts pummeling everything again. Becoming tired and thirsty from killing everything, he heads north and sees the Sea Pipe Statue, and someone else.
Punchinello: ! YOU!
Bombert: ! Master, is that you?!
Punchinello: Yes it’s me, Bombert! How’s it been?
Bombert: Well I saw one of my flowers was wilting, so I decided to come here to the Sea Pipe Statue.
Punchinello: Sea Pipe Statue?
Starlow: The Sea Pipe Statue is-
Bombert: -a statue dedicated to a hero of the sea. It all happened in 19-
Punchinello: Don’t care! You know why?
Punchinello: ‘CAUSE WHEN I SAVE THE WORLD IT’LL BE THE PUNCHINELLO STATUE! Now help me get rid of the Blooper.
Starlow: STOP THAT!
Bombert: Who’s your, um, friend?
Punchinello: Some parasite.
Starlow: I’M NOT A-
Starlow: Well, who’s your friend?
Bombert: I’m your friend?
Punchinello: Um, yeah. Anyway, it’s Bombert. He’s my closest friend and assistant. Although I wish you had more brawn then brains.
Bombert: Someday, Master, brains will help you…! Hey look, the Statue’s going nuts.
Punchinello: Yeah. What did I do?
Bombert: For one thing, you did try to remove the Blooper, so-
????: I HAVE CHORTLES!
Fawful Copter: It is I who added the nuts to the machine.
Bombert: Now who’s this?
Punchinello: Bombert, if we defeat this guy, WE’LL BE FAMOUS!!!
Fawful Copter: I have chortles. You will never defeat me, fink-rats! You will never get past the Sea Pipe Statue. Fawful will laugh when your funeral is held. GOOD LUCK!
Bombert: *gulp* Sir, I think we should flee.
Punchinello: No! We are not-
While the two are busy arguing, the Sea Pipe Statue begins to upgrade. Metal fists appear out of the pipe, pipes come out of the statue as feet, and finally a dome covers the Blooper. The Sea Pipe Statue tries to punch Punchinello but he easily stops it.
Punchinello: ITS SHOWTIME!!!
A Bob-omb covers the screen…
VS. SEA PIPE STATUE
The Sea Pipe Statue punches with its other arm, but Punchinello grabs that one too.
Punchinello: Quick! Bombert, blow up with all your might.
Bombert: But I’m a conscientious objector.
Bombert: You know, a coward…! SIR WATCH OUT!
The Sea Pipe Statue kicks Punchinello in his shins, then punches him into a wall. Punchinello jumps and dodges a punch and the Sea Pipe Statue gets stuck. Punchinello charges at it but its other pipe hand shoots a stream of water at Punchinello. Bombert rushes to the statue and kicks it, but it does no damage. The Statue frees itself and looks at Bombert angrily. Bombert runs away but the statue jumps high into the air and blocks Bombert. The Blooper notices this and Falcon Punches Punchinello in the face.
Bombert: NO ONE DOES THAT TO PUNCHINELLO!!!
The explosion knocks the Blooper off and Punchinello quickly inhales it.
Snifit 1: ! Oh, looks like a boss battle!
The Blooper lands and hits Punchinello’s tender, squishy skin and starts spinning.
Snifits 1 and 2 VS SEA PIPE STATUE
The Blooper spins around and fires itself like a torpedo, but Snifit 2 dodges it. The Blooper bounces of a metal wall lining and hits Snifit 2. Snifit 1 starts shooting bullets at it but it spins around at super speed to deflect the bullets. Snifit 2 uses Bolt and shocks the Blooper, then Snifit 1 uses Drain and throws a fireball that hurts it even more. The Blooper gets a little angry and starts spinning around the Snifits, creating a tornado that damages them.
Snifit 1: This thing’s tough!
Snifit 2: Bro! I have an idea!
Snifit 1: I get you.
The Blooper starts charging at them but Snifit 1 pulls out a Green Shell and kicks it at him, stunning him a bit. Snifit 2 kicks the shell towards it again before it sad time to dodge. Blooper gets a little bit angrier and quickly flies into the air, but then the Koopa shell turns blue and grows wings so it still hurts Blooper and goes towards Snifit 2. He kicks it but Blooper punches it back with sheer force. Snifit 1 pulls out a tennis racket and it goes back to Blooper and makes a huge explosion. Blooper turns completely red and sprays acid all over them, burning them. Then Blooper does a giga impact but Snifit 2 fights the pain and smacks Blooper with an aluminum bat and Blooper goes flying off.
Snifit 2: *huff* It’s all up to you.
The Snifits fall down from the pain.
Punchinello: ! BLEEECH!!!
The Blooper crashes into the statue but the statue comes to life and tries to pull the Blooper out. Punchinello punches the statue but then he gets punched back. Bombert jumps on top of the machine and notices a keymark on the statue. He gets a lockpick and opens it and notices a weird Fawful bug inside. The bug sees it and orders the statue to attack Bombert, but Punchinello grabs the pipes. The machine starts kicking Punchinello a lot. The Blooper comes to life and squirts a bunch of acid that hurts Punchinello a lot, then the machine punches him into a wall.
Bombert: SIR!!! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The explosion kills the bomb, and the statue falls down. Then Punchinello punches the Blooper into the statue, causing a star explosion.
BATTLE OVER. +150 EXP. +75 EXP.
The Sea Pipe Statue returns to normal and starts spraying water.
Punchinello: I am thirsty.
Punchinello starts drinking water, and another area opens.
Grate Guy: ! LET’S
CHAPTER 2 UNCLOGGING THE FIRE MACHINE
Knife Guy: How are we breath-
Booster: DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS YOU ARE UNPREPARED TO HANDLE THE ANSWER TO!
Knife Guy: What?
Punchinello: (That’s enough.)
Punchinello stops drinking and a metallic Thwomp falls down, blocking the Snifits.
Punchinello: ! What?
Starlow: Can you please drink more water for us?
Bombert: DON’T DO IT, SIR!!! THAT’S WHAT THE PARASITE WANTS YOU TO THINK!!!
Starlow: FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME!!!! I! AM! NOT! A! PARA-
Punchinello: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! BLOOD?! MY LIVER?!
Bombert: Sir, I’ve been reading your instruction manual-
Punchinello: I have a manual?
Bombert: Yes. Remember your “accident”?
Punchinello: Oh yeah.
Bombert: Well your Water Works area in your esophagus seems to flush any unnecessary water out, so you’ll be okay, sir.
Punchinello: Okay, but why should I help you out?
Starlow: I’ll help repair your body and make you stronger.
Punchinello: … Bombert?
Bombert: Well the manual does say you can make yourself stronger in some way.
Punchinello: *sigh* Fine.
Punchinello starts drinking more water.
Starlow: Let’s go.
The crew start swimming through the Water Works but see their path is blocked off by some bone.
Snifit 1: …! WHAT’S THAT?!
They see a weird, metallic louse sleeping.
Booster: What in the world is that thing?
The creature wakes up and makes a flash, signaling a bunch of mini Torpedo Teds to attack them.
Snifit 3: I’m guessing defensive machines.
Snifit 2 quickly shoots all the Torpedo Teds and then the defensive machine tries to suck up the Snifits, but Snifit 2 shoots a POW Bill. The metallic thing sucks it up and the Bill blows up inside of it, causing it to fall through the bone floor. This creates another path.
The water disappears and they fall down and land on a squishy part of the insides.
Snifit 2: That was close.
The crew start walking again.
Punchinello: That did not felt good.
Bombert: Sir, maybe you should take a rest.
Punchinello: I guess so.
Grate Guy: Where are we going, anyways?
Booster: I dunno.
Snifit Crew: !
They see two metallic balls floating in the air. They have red eyes.
Cell: UNKNOWN SPECIMEN!
Cell 2: VIRUS!
Toadsworth: I am no virus!
Cell: DENIAL! VIRUS!
Cell 2: ACTIVATE THE SHOCK KILL!!!
Tasers come out of the cells but Grate Guy knocks his ball at one of them, destroying it.
Cell 2: ANNIHILATE!!!!
Grate Guy throws his ball at the cell but the cell smacks it back at him at twice the speed. SMASH!!!
Grate Guy: @_@
Knife Guy: Uh. Grate Gu-
Grate Guy: Knife Guy, did you do your chores? ‘Cause if not Booster will eat me.
Knife Guy: Are you okay?
Grate Guy: Of course. My system went out of whack. Can’t feel the pain.
Knife Guy: Good. So are you abso-
Booster: KNIFE GUY, HELP!!!
The cell is lasering Booster. Knife Blocks reflects the laser with his glass knife and destroys the cell.
Toadsworth: Thank you, blocks.
Snifit 1: Toadsworth!
Toadsworth: Snifits. Have you seen Masters Mario and Luigi?
Snifit 2: Actually no. Punchinello’s body is so complex I can’t tell my left from my right.
Knife Guy: You couldn’t do that in the first place!
Toadsworth: Excuse me, who is this Punchinello?
Booster: Don’t worry about it.
Toadsworth: ! Oh, I found something that might help you.
YOU GOT 10 WATER WORKS PIECES.
Starlow: You got the Ice/Fire Flower.
Snifit 3: AWESOME!
Grate Guy: Rainbows taste like cotton candy.
Knife Guy: GRATE GUY, SNAP OUT OF IT!
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Grate Guy: I’m better in a way. Still can’t feel the pain.
The team starts navigating and finds a room where there are 3 generators. The Snifits start using bolt repeatedly and the generators reach maximum power and open another pathway.
THE HOT BOX
Starlow: Sure is hot in here…! What is that?
They see a furnace-like device but on top is a red Scutlet.
Starlow: I’ve never seen that before.
Booster: Maybe it’s friendly.
The Lava Scutlet eats Booster.
Starlow: Maybe it’s not.
The Scutlet eats Starlow, then the Snifits. A Bullet Bill symbol appears on the screen.
Grate Guy: BATTLE TIME!
Knife Guy: KNIFE TIME!
VS. LAVA SCUTLET
The Lava Scutlet extends his tongue at the Jester Bros, but Knife Guy slices at the tongue and the Scutlet retreats his tongue. The Scutlet gets mad and starts spitting fireballs at the Bros. Since Grate Guy is still damaged a bit he gets hit but doesn’t flinch, so he uses Meteor Blast on the Scutlet. The Scutlet slams his fist into the furnace and the fire sends him up and he grabs onto the ceiling and starts spitting out more fireballs. Knife Guy puts his sword in the way and absorbs it but the Scutlet’s tongue grabs it and starts using it against Knife Guy. Grate Guy uses Echo Finder and its tongue retreats back. Knife Guy throws his knife at the Scutlet but it quickly lets go of the ceiling and glides around and then bodyslams into Knife Guy. Grate Guy kicks his ball into the Scutlet, causing it to glow red. Its fist catches on fire and punches Grate Guy, but he dodges it this time and jumps on the Scutlet. The Scutlet’s skin burns Grate Guy’s foot but Grate Guy still doesn’t feel the pain. The Scutlet quickly goes back to the furnace and slams on the furnace, and the fire from the furnace heals the Scutlet.
Knife Guy: This looks bad.
Grate Guy: That furnace is heating him up. What do we do? …! LET’S ICE THIS THING!!!
Grate Guy pulls out the Ice Flower they just acquired and the Bros. start throwing snowballs at the beast. It eventually cools to the point that it looks like a normal Scutlet and falls off the furnace. Knife Guy stabs it in the face and Grate Guy starts wailing on it with his magic. The Scutlet snaps out of it and spits Booster and Starlow at the Bros. and hits them.
Booster: I’M FREE!
The Scutlet eats Booster and Starlow again, and climbs back on the furnace.
VS. LAVA SCUTLET
The Lava Scutlet extends his tongue again and Knife Guy slashes at it, but the tongue grabs and incinerates the knife. Grate Guy quickly throws another Ice Flower and they throw the snowballs at the tongue, causing the Scutlet to fall off the furnace again. The Bros. start wailing on the creature again but before Grate Guy can deliver the finishing blow... CRACK!
Grate Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN!!!
The Scutlet wakes up and eats Grate Guy.
Knife Guy: GRATE GUY!!!
Knife Guy pulls out his ice knife and holds it into the air and then swings it and makes an ice sword beam, but the Scutlet slams his fist into the furnace. The furnace throws fire out again and throws Scutlet into the air so that he dodges the sword attack. The Scutlet starts crawling around and smashing the ceiling, causing fire to burst out. Knife Guy dodges the flames, but the Scutlet slams onto the floor and steam appears under Knife Guy and hits him, leaving him immobile. The Scutlet slams onto Knife Guy and starts preparing a huge fireball while on top of him, but before it can execute its attack, Knife Guy reaches his ice knife and uses it to impale the Scutlet, then he pulls out a big knife and slams the knife onto the Scutlet, causing it to explode.
Battle over. +150 EXP. Level Up.
The furnace blows fire out again and Punchinello’s fuse lites up. Punchinello breathes out fire.
Bombert: ! Sir!
Punchinello: Woah! Now that is what I’m talking about, para- whoever you are.
Starlow: No problem.
Punchinello: Say, what’s your name?
Starlow: Uh, Chippy?
Punchinello: Are you sure?
Starlow: I know my own name.
Punchinello: Whatever. Come on, Bombert, let’s get out of here.
Bombert: Got it sir.
And so the unlikely team has managed to work well for now. What other dangers await them? Can Punchinello thwart Fawful’s plan? Does Fawful know what he’s doing? Find out soon.