Paper Larry: Fall of the Witch

By Larry

Chapter 4: The Invincible Beast!

Larry, Shy Ranger, Dodo, and Mamar are outside of the Dry Dry Ruins.

Larry: Am I going to get a power from you?

Mamar: No, but I am grateful for the rescue.

Larry: …

Mamar: Anyway, the next Star Spirit is at Boo’s Mansion in Forever Forest. Bye!

Mamar flies away.

Larry: I’m starting to hate these Star Spirits…

Dodo: I’m hungry…

Shy Ranger: Are you ever full?

Dodo: What’s full?

Shy Ranger: …

Larry: Let’s just leave! Teleporting Powers, activate!!

The three teleport to Toad Town. Meanwhile, a figure comes out of Dry Dry Ruins.

Figure: I’ll get you for that, Larry. Just you wait…

The trio arrives at Toad Town, specifically, near a small bridge north of the train tracks.


Larry: What was that?

The three rush over the bridge and see a shaking Toad Guard.

Toad Guard: D-D-Did you s-see it?!! T-The g-g-g-g-ghost?!

Larry: No.

Shy Ranger: No.

Dodo: I’m hungry.

A Boo that looks like a butler appears behind the trio, so only the Toad Guard can see him.

Toad Guard: THERE IT IS!!!

The trio turn around, but the Boo vanishes before they can see him.

Larry: I don’t see anything…

Toad Guard: He’s there, I swear!

Suddenly the Boo appears in everyone’s view.


All Four: AAAAHHH!!

Boo: *ahem* I am Bootler. My master has requested for you to come to Boo’s Mansion at once. Ta!

He vanishes, and then reappears.


He vanishes again.

Toad Guard: …*faints*

Larry: All right then…Let’s go!

The three enter… Forever Forest! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!

Larry: Stop that!

Fine. The three start wandering through the area, not noticing an orange plane above the forest.

Person in the Plane: Dang, I’ll have to wait for them to leave the forest…

Back to the trio…

Larry: This place is spooky…

He spots The G-Man a long ways away, watching them.

Larry: Why…?

He blinks and The G-Man vanishes.

Shy Ranger: What is it?

Larry: Oh…nothing.

Suddenly three Piranha Plants appear!

Piranha Plant: You can’t go on!

Piranha Plant #2: We’ll beat you!

Piranha Plant #3: Generic minor enemy line!

Larry uses his flame breath to burn them all.

Larry: Let’s just keep going. Why is this called Forever Forest, anyway?

The three make a right turn and end up in Toad Town.

Shy Ranger: That’s why. The forest is magic and maze-like. One wrong turn leads back to town.

Larry: Why didn’t you tell me that?

Shy Ranger: You never asked.

Larry: …

The three enter the woods again.

Larry: I have an idea!

Shy Ranger: Try a different path?

Larry: No, I’m gonna be lazy! Dodo, eat the trees!

Dodo: Duh… Okay.

Dodo starts chomping on the trees.

Shy Ranger: Doesn’t that hurt your mouth with splinters and such?

Dodo pays no attention to Shy Ranger and keeps eating.

Shy Ranger: …

Larry: Just don’t question it.

After an hour, Dodo has eaten a path through the forest leading to Boo’s Mansion.

Dodo: Yummy.

Larry: Let’s see who wants us, and then get that Star Spirit… Or, just destroy the place and the person who sent the butler, and get the Star Spirit.

Shy Ranger: … You’re a very violent child.

Larry: Yes. Yes I am.

The three approach the mansion and Bootler appears at the door.

Bootler: Ah. So good to see you made it here okay! Now then, my master is waiting for you at the top of the mansion.

Larry: Can’t your master come down here?

Bootler: No.

He vanishes and the doors to the mansion open.

Larry: Ugh… Stupid Boos…

The three enter the mansion.

???: Hey, you!

Larry: Hmm?

A blue ghost appears.

Ghost: I remember you.

Larry: Do I know you?

Ghost: It’s me… Q. Ghost!

Larry: Who?

Q. Ghost: You know, the guy from the last story?

Larry: Doesn’t ring a bell.

Q. Ghost: …

Shy Ranger: So, who are you?

Q. Ghost: I went on an adventure with Iggy in the last story to save Larry’s forgetful butt.

Shy Ranger: Yeesh, EVERYONE is going on adventures but me.

Larry: Get over it. So, what are you doing here?

Q. Ghost: After the last story, I looked for a spooky place to live and found this place. The Boos let me stay here, and I’ve been here ever since.

Larry: “Ever since?” How long was it since the last story?

Q. Ghost: About ten days.

Larry: Ten days?! We were asleep for that long?!

Q. Ghost, Shy Ranger, and Dodo: Asleep?

Larry: *to Shy Ranger and Q. Ghost* There’s this G-Man who’s been following Iggy and I, and seems to be using us to defeat his enemies. *now speaking to Dodo as well* After we beat King Boo and Bowletta, The G-Man froze time and trapped Iggy and myself in a void and made us sleep. He then woke us up and got us started on this adventure.

Dodo: … Cool story, bro.

Larry slaps Dodo across the face.

Dodo: Sorry.

Q. Ghost: I see… Well, how about I help out?

Larry: All right, sounds good!


Larry: SHUT UP!

Yeesh, calm down.

Q. Ghost: Anyway, you’re here to see the owner of the mansion, right?

Larry: Yeah.

Q. Ghost feels around a seemingly random part of the wall, and then presses down on certain spot, causing part of the wall to open up, revealing stairs.

Q. Ghost: Here, a secret passage.

The four go up the stairs and end up in a large room.

???: Hey, you cheated!

A green Boo and Bootler appear.

Bootler: Please calm down, Lady Bow.

Larry: Mario Partner?! DIE!

Larry attacks with two nose hairs, which go through Lady Bow without causing any damage.

Lady Bow: Are you finished?

Larry: Darn…

Lady Bow: Anyway, I’ve called you here to ask you a favor. Tell them, Bootler.

Bootler: Of course, Lady Bow. To the east of the mansion is a small settlement called Gusty Gulch. There have been problems there. A giant, ghost-eating monster has been terrorizing the town!

Lady Bow: That’s right, and I need you to stop it.

Larry: Why should we?

A small cage lowers from the ceiling with a Star Spirit in it.

Skolar: Help me!

Larry: The Star Spirit!

Lady Bow: Kill the monster and the Star Spirit is yours.

Larry: Deal.

Lady Bow: Excellent! Off you go!

The four are teleported out of the mansion.

Q. Ghost: Well, this shouldn’t be too hard.

Suddenly Lady Bow appears.

Lady Bow: By the way, the monster is invincible. Anyquestionsnookaygoodluck.

She vanishes.

Shy Ranger: Wait, what?

Larry: Great, we’re doomed.

Dodo: Believe in yourself, and you cannot fail.

Larry: Wow, that had nothing to do with food or being hungry!

Dodo: I talk about other things…

Larry: Let’s just get this over with…

Q. Ghost: I have a feeling you’ve said that, and things similar to that, way too much.

Larry: … Shut up.

The four go east and soon come across the Windy Mill.

Guru-Guru: Don’t play the Song of Storms! It’ll mess the windmill up!

Larry: Shut up!

Guru-Guru: Okay…

They go farther and reach a small settlement of brown Boos.

Boo: Hey, who are you? You’re not with Tubba Blubba, are you?!

Larry: Who is Tubba Blubba?

Boo: He’s a monster who comes and eats us!

Q. Ghost: It’s all right, Lady Bow sent us.

Boo: Thank God…

Suddenly loud footsteps are heard.

Boo: He’s coming! Everyone hide!!

Larry: Right!

Larry puts a blanket with a rainbow color scheme over the five of them.

Shy Ranger: This will never work!

Dodo: I’m hungry…

Boo: Shhh! Here he comes!

A giant monster appears - Tubba Blubba.

Tubba Blubba: *sniff sniff* I smell ghosts!!

Shy Ranger: He’ll find us!

Larry: If you shut up, he won’t!

Tubba Blubba eats a few ghosts and looks at the blanket.

Tubba Blubba: Hmm… Nothing weird here!

He leaves. Larry throws the blanket off.

Shy Ranger: I can’t believe that worked!

Q. Ghost: I can’t believe Tubba Blubba’s scene was so short.

Dodo: I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Larry smacks Dodo again.

Dodo: Owie…

Boo: You need to go to Tubba Blubba’s Castle and defeat that monster!

Larry: Isn’t he invincible? How can we beat him?

Boo: I’ve heard rumors that there’s a secret on how to beat him in the castle.

Shy Ranger: Who told you that?

Boo: My dolly.

Quartet: …

Boo: Don’t judge me!

Larry: We’re just gonna… go now…

The four quickly follow where the monster went and are confronted by Hyper enemies.



Larry pours decaf coffee on them.

Both: IT BURNS!!!

They dissolve into pure sugar.

Larry: …

The quartet soon reach Tubba Blubba’s Castle.

Q. Ghost: I’m feeling kind of nervous, what if I’m eaten?

Larry: Wimp.

Q. Ghost: …

Larry uses Dodo as a battering ram to knock the doors off their hinges.

Dodo: Ow.

Shy Ranger: I don’t think the doors were locked…

Larry: What’s your point?

Shy Ranger: …

Sentinel: Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!

Larry: Ah, nuts.

Larry whips the Sentinels away with his nose hairs.

Larry: Why is it that I always get rid of the minor enemies?

Shy Ranger: Well-

Tubba Blubba’s Voice: HEY! IS SOMEONE IN MY CASTLE?!

Larry: Ah geez…

The four dash into a nearby hallway as Tubba Blubba comes from a hallway from an upper level and looks at the ground floor.

Tubba Blubba: Hmm. Thought I heard the Sentinels…Ah well…

He goes back to the hallway he came from.

Larry: That was close…

Shy Ranger: I think we have another problem.

He points to a duo of sleeping Clubbas.

Larry: No problem. I’LL BE VERY SNEAKY!

The Clubbas wake up.

Both: Hnng?

Larry: Shy Ranger, you woke them up!!!

Shy Ranger: …

Larry: Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Go To Sleep!

Larry throws pepper at the Clubbas, who fall back asleep for some reason.

Q. Ghost: How does that work?

Larry: Shut up.

Q. Ghost: …

The four go up some stairs and see more sleeping Clubbas.

Shy Ranger: I’ll handle this…

He shoots poison darts at the Clubbas from a tube, killing them all. They proceed to another hall, which Tubba Blubba is in, but he’s facing away from the quartet.

Tubba Blubba: Hmm? *sniffs*

Q. Ghost: Crud…

Larry: Quick! Everyone, keep moving! He won’t be able to see us!

Dodo: That makes no sense!

Larry: Just do it!

The four start dancing as Tubba Blubba turns around.

Tubba Blubba: Hmm…*sniffs* I smell ghost… but I don’t see one…

He shrugs and goes into the next room, the bedroom.

Shy Ranger: I can’t believe that worked…

Larry: Let’s keep going…

The four enter a large bedroom, with Tubba Blubba sleeping like a fat and ugly baby.

Larry: Let’s look for clues.

Dodo: Like, zoinks! I don’t like it here.

Shy Ranger and Q. Ghost: …

Larry: *looks behind the bed* I found something…

The other three follow Larry and see a chest. Larry opens it and a key comes out.

Yakkey: Hello there! I’m Yakkey! I open that windmill you passed earlier, which leads to Tubba Blubba’s weakness!

Larry: Um… Thanks.

Yakkey: Wait… I forgot one other thing. TUBBA BLUBBA!!! WAKE UP!!!

Larry: Why did you do that?!

Yakkey: Boredom.

Larry grabs Yakkey and the four run out of the room as Tubba Blubba gets out of his bed.

Tubba Blubba: Come back here!!

Dodo: Guys, wait! I’m tired of running!

Larry: What are you talking about!?

Dodo: I’m tired of being a chicken! Super Fist of Feathers: Rolling Cluck-Cluck!

Dodo spins around and flies at Tubba Blubba.

Dodo: Buck buck buck buck buck, bucka!!

Q. Ghost: Sounds like a chicken to me!!

Dodo rams into Tubba Blubba… not affecting the monster in the slightest.

Dodo: Ow…

He gets up and runs, dodging a punch from Tubba Blubba.

Tubba Blubba: It’s no use! I’m invincible!

Larry: Wait! I know how to beat him! I will become one with the universe!

Q. Ghost: What…?

Larry focuses… and then vanishes.

Tubba Blubba: Hey, no becoming one with the universe! It’s cheating!

Larry reappears.

Larry: Okay…

Q. Ghost: …

The quarter exit the hall they were in and jump from the bridge to the entrance, with Tubba Blubba in pursuit.

Tubba Blubba: I’ll destroy you!

The quartet exit the castle, and narrowly dodge a missile!

Larry: What the?!

The orange plane from earlier is above the quartet, and the pilot has jumped from it, carrying a rocket launcher. This person turns out to be Colonel Violet.

Colonel Violet: Darn, I missed! *shouts to someone out of view* Hey, come catch me!!

Buzzar appears and catches Colonel Violet.

Larry: Not him again…

Tubba Blubba comes out of the castle.

Tubba Blubba: You almost wrecked my castle!

Tubba Blubba picks up a conveniently placed boulder and throws it at Buzzar.

Buzzar: Ah, cr-

Buzzar is hit by the boulder and he lets go of Colonel Violet, who falls. The boulder falls to the ground on top of Buzzar, killing the giant bird.

Larry: Whew, I was worried he would come back multiple times…

Colonel Violet: *yelling to Tubba Blubba* I’m on your side, you idiot!!

Tubba Blubba: Oops…

Colonel Violet: Hurry, catch me!

While the two are distracted, our heroes run back to the windmill.

Guru-Guru: Hi!

Larry: Shut up.

Guru-Guru: So rude…

The quartet runs past Guru-Guru and enter the windmill.

Guru-Guru: I wonder why they’re in such a hurry…

Tubba Blubba, along with Colonel Violet riding on the monster’s head, runs up to the windmill.

Tubba Blubba: We’re too late!

Colonel Violet: Let’s just go after them!

Tubba Blubba: I can’t fit. Now that I think about it… what’s down there should be able to kill them easily.

Colonel Violet: If you say so…

The quartet, meanwhile, reach a locked door and Larry uses Yakkey to unlock it. The four enter and see a heart.

Tubba Blubba’s Heart: Gah! Who are you?! You startled me!

Larry: What in the world are you?

Heart: I’m a heart, duh!

Shy Ranger: Well, it seems we’ve found Tubba Blubba’s weakness…

Heart: That’s why you’re here, huh? Well, you won’t make it out of here alive!

Q. Ghost: You’re a heart, how strong can you be?

Heart: Laser!!!

Heart shoots a laser at Q. Ghost, knocking him out of the room. He floats back in, injured.

Q. Ghost: Okay, maybe he’s a little strong…

Larry: No, you’re just weak.

Q. Ghost: …

Q. Ghost shoots an energy beam at the heart, knocking him into a wall.

Heart: Gah! Tubba Blubba! Heeeelp!

The Heart bounces over everyone’s heads and goes down the hallway behind them.

Larry: Hey, get back here!

The quartet chase the heart, which has escaped Windy Mill and is in front of Tubba Blubba by the time the four get there.

Tubba Blubba: You couldn’t win?!

Heart: They hurt me… Let’s reunite!

Tubba Blubba opens his mouth and the heart jumps inside.

Tubba Blubba: YEAH!! I feel much more powerful!!

Colonel Violet: Does that mean we can get this over with?

Tubba Blubba: Yes! *laughs evilly*

Larry: Let’s get out of here!

Tubba Blubba: Not so fast!

Tubba Blubba concentrates and walls of fire appear at the exits, preventing escape.

Larry: Crud.

Colonel Violet: Finally, time to kill!

Colonel Violet fires her rocket launcher at the quartet.

Dodo: I’ll handle this!

Dodo opens his mouth and swallows the projectile. He closes his mouth and the rocket goes off. Dodo opens his mouth and smoke comes out.

Dodo: That was…*cough* really spicy…

Shy Ranger: What do we do? We can’t fight back!

Larry: We’ll have to, we have no choice!

Larry picks up Q. Ghost and throws him.

Larry: GO GET ‘EM!

Q. Ghost: What?!

Q. Ghost hits Colonel Violet, knocking her off of Tubba Blubba.

Both: Guba!!

Shy Ranger: My turn!

He reaches into his robe and pulls out a small laser pistol and shoots at Tubba Blubba, leaving a burn mark.

Tubba Blubba: Ow! That hurt! Wait… that hurt?

Shy Ranger: It seems recombining him with his heart made Tubba Blubba vulnerable!

Larry: Revenge!

Tubba Blubba: Even if I’m not invincible, I’ll still destroy you!!

Larry: Super Fist of the Nose Hair: My Hand Is A Dolphin!!

Larry’s hand turns into a dolphin, which he uses to punch Tubba Blubba in the face.

Tubba Blubba: Guba!

Dodo: My turn!

Dodo flies at Tubba Blubba and pecks at his head. Tubba Blubba retaliates by smacking Dodo into Windy Mill.

Guru-Guru: HEY! Don’t damage the windmill!!!

Guru-Guru drops his musical instrument and walks over to Tubba Blubba.

Tubba Blubba: What are you gonna do about it?

Guru-Guru jumps in the air and kicks Tubba Blubba in the face, knocking him to the ground. He then gets his instrument and teleports away somehow.

Larry: That’s… pathetic.

Tubba Blubba: *getting up* Shut up!! Colonel! How about a little help?

Q. Ghost and Colonel Violet are both knocked out.

Tubba Blubba: Darn.

Shy Ranger charges at Tubba Blubba, who smacks him into Dodo and the two of them are knocked out.

Larry: Uh oh…

Tubba Blubba: What now, little Koopa?

Larry thinks, and then uses his nose hairs to pick up the unconscious Colonel Violet.

Tubba Blubba: What…?

Larry throws Colonel Violet at Tubba Blubba, and the two fall into a wall of fire and are reduced to ashes. Conveniently, Larry’s companions all wake up. The fire walls vanish.

Larry: That was… lame.

Shy Ranger: The chapter’s long enough already.

Larry: True. Anyway, that fire burned them up. Seems like a bad case of… *puts on sunglasses* heartburn.

Unseen Singer: YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Shy Ranger: I have a feeling these puns are only going to get worse…

Lady Bow appears.

Lady Bow: Ah, you defeated that nasty monster! Well done! As promised, here is the Star Spirit!

Skolar appears.

Larry: Excellent! Eat her, Dodo.

Lady Bow: What?!

Dodo eats Lady Bow.

Dodo: Tastes like mints…

Skolar: That was mean…

Larry: Shut up, nerd! The chapter is over!

Skolar: …

End of chapter! Who are the last two assassins? Why was Tubba Blubba’s Heart such a wimp? How did Larry’s methods of not getting seen work? Possibly find out the answer to all these questions in Chapter 5: The Shyest Army You’ll Ever See!

Chapter 5: The Shyest Army You’ll Ever See!

Skolar and Larry’s group are all outside of Boo’s Mansion.

Skolar: Thanks for saving-

Larry: If you’re not going to give me an ability, then leave.

Skolar: Okay…

He flies away. Larry turns to Q. Ghost.

Larry: As for you, you’re fired.

Q. Ghost: What?! Why?

Larry: You’re useless and boring. Shy Ranger is boring enough; we don’t need two boring people!

Shy Ranger: I’m not boring!

Larry: Yes you are!

Q. Ghost: Fine, I’ll leave. Jerk.

Q. Ghost goes back into Boo’s Mansion.

Larry: All right, let’s get out of here!

Shy Ranger: We don’t know where the next Star Spirit is, though!

Larry: I’m sure we’ll conveniently find out.

Shy Ranger: I guess…

Dodo: I’m-

Larry: If you say that you’re hungry one more time…

Dodo: Sorry…

The three make their way back to Toad Town, but something halts their progress.

???: AAAHHHH!!! Someone help me!!

Larry: What was that?

Jr. Troopa runs towards the group, looking behind him at something scary.

Jr. Troopa: AAAHHH!!!

He runs into Dodo and is knocked onto his butt.

Jr. Troopa: There’s a monster chasing me! It’s small and black, and it’s scary and… *notices he’s looking at Larry and his group*

Larry: Yes… it is… *cracks knuckles*

Jr. Troopa: You won’t win this time! Watch this!

Jr. Troopa concentrates and sprouts bat-like wings and starts floating!

Larry: DAD Jr. on a tricycle! How did you manage to do that at your age?!

Jr. Troopa: I’ve been training!

Larry: I also have wings!

Larry smacks a tomato to his forehead, splattering it everywhere. He then starts floating.

Larry: Haha! My wings are better than yours!

Jr. Troopa, Shy Ranger, and Dodo: How did you do that?!

Instead of answering their question, Larry flies at Jr. Troopa and punches him into a tree.

Jr. Troopa: Guba!

Larry: Nose hairs!

Larry unleashes a dozen nose hairs that smack Jr. Troopa over the horizon.


Larry takes out a napkin and wipes the tomato away, and gently floats to the ground.

Larry: That was fun! Now let’s get back to Toad Town.

The three go through the path Dodo ate for them earlier, and soon arrive at Toad Town, not noticing that a small, black thing is following them. When the trio get back to Toad Town, they notice something wrong. There are Shy Guys everywhere, stealing things from the Toads!

Larry: This place has seriously improved.

Shy Ranger: There’s thievery and mayhem!

Larry: What’s your point?

Shy Ranger: …

Suddenly a Shy Guy in a pink robe runs up to the trio from behind. He snatches Dodo’s helmet.

Dodo: *covers his head with his wings* My helmet!

He then steal’s Shy Ranger’s mask.

Shy Ranger: Ah! *turns away from the “camera”* My mask! Wait, why would a Shy Guy want another mask?

The Shy Guy then steals the spikes off of Larry’s shell.

Larry: My spikes!

The Shy Guy runs away. The trio start chasing him.

Larry: Get back here!

Dodo *now with a bucket where his helmet was*: We’re gonna kick your butt!

Shy Ranger *now with a paper bag over his head with two eyeholes and a mouth hole*: Don’t let him get away!

The Shy Guy runs into a seemingly random house and closes the door behind him.

Larry: We’ve got him cornered!

Larry opens the door and sees… an empty room.

Larry: What the…?

Dodo: Where did he go…?

Larry: Looks like he vanished…

Larry walks to the end of the room.

Larry: He’s gone! Darn it!

Larry punches the wall, and a section of it flips!

Larry: What’s this?

The three go on the other side of the wall and see a secret room with a toy box.

Larry: Maybe the Shy Guy went in there.

Shy Ranger: How could he fit in there?

Larry: We live in a world where leaves turn you into raccoons and turtles talk. Are you really going to question it?

Shy Ranger: Good point…

Larry opens the lid to the toy box, and the three are sucked in. The small black thing comes in the house and follows them inside. They all wind up in an odd toy box world. The black things slithers away before it can be seen.

Larry: This is… very odd.

He sees the pink-robed Shy Guy run along some train tracks.

Larry: There he is! Let’s go!

Conductor Toad: Wait, you can’t walk on the train tracks!

Larry: Why not?

Conductor Toad: Because!

Larry: …

Larry knocks the Conductor Toad out and the trio chase after the Shy Guy, as the black thing follows silently. The three enter a room with three enemies: a Medi Guy, a Pyro Guy, and a Spy Guy.

Larry: Oh look, more pathetically weak enemies.

Shy Ranger: It makes you wonder why villains hire such weaklings.

Dodo: I miss my helmet…

Spy Guy: All right, time to start mission K.I.L.L. You ready, boys?

Medi Guy and Pyro Guy: Yeah!

Shy Ranger: Hey, if anyone is spy-like around here, it’s me!

Shy Ranger kicks Medi Guy from his aircraft, sending him to the floor. Spy Guy comes up from behind with a hammer, which Shy Ranger snatches from him. Shy Ranger then whacks Spy Guy into Pyro Guy, knocking them both out. He then throws the hammer at Medi Guy, knocking him out as well.

Larry: Yeah, cool, whatever. Let’s just get our stuff back.

Shy Ranger: …

The three go along the train tracks, and eventually come across a BIG Shy Guy.

Gourmet Guy: Hi… I’m so hungry…

Dodo: HEY! That is MY shtick! Don’t you DARE take that from me!

Dodo punches Gourmet Guy in the stomach, launching him into a wall.

Larry: You okay there, Dodo?

Dodo: Yeah… Just hungry…

Larry and Shy Ranger: …

The three keep going until they see the Shy Guy they’ve been chasing.

Larry: It’s him!

Pink Shy Guy: Uh oh!

He runs into a nearby room that’s pitch black. The trio and the small black thing follow him.

Larry: Dang it! I can’t see anything!

Dodo: Do you hear something?

???: Come on, let me through!

???2: I’ve told you at least a dozen times, no!

???: I’ll be your friend…

???2: NO!

???: Fine, then die! Demonic Flames!

The room lights up for a fraction of a second as someone shoots flames at someone else, burning them to ashes. The three aren’t given enough time to fully see what happened.

Larry: What just happened?!

???: Larry, is that you?

Larry: That depends, who are you?

???: Give me a second… where’s that light switch? Ah! Here it is!

A switch is flipped and the room is lit, revealing Culex (with no horns) along with a pile of ash and a lantern on the floor. The Shy Guy is nowhere to be found, as the small black thing hides in a corner.

Larry: Culex? Why are you here?

Culex: Those Shy Guys stole my horns! Also the author can’t come up with any good new partners…


Culex: It’s true! Anyway, I was chasing the Green Shy Guy responsible, but the Big Lantern Ghost wouldn’t let me through, so…

He gestures to the pile of ash.

Larry: Well, at least there’s no one to stop us from progressing!

Suddenly the small black thing jumps from the corner and lands in front of everyone.

Black Thing: Not so fast!!

Larry: What the…?

Larry puts his hands on his knees and talks like he’s speaking to a child.

Larry: Hello little guy, are you lost?

Black Thing: Don’t talk down to me!! I am Nightmare, one of four assassins hired to kill you!!

Larry: *starts speaking normally* Oh. That’s a problem…

Shy Ranger: Why would you wait until there were four of us to reveal yourself?

Nightmare: …

Nightmare changes into his second form.

Nightmare: DIE!

Dodo: That’s such a cliché…

Nightmare shoots four energy balls, each one hitting one of our heroes.

All Four: Gah!!

Nightmare: Ahahaaha!

Culex: That’s another cliché!

Nightmare: Grr…

Nightmare transforms into his third form.

Larry: It’s a snake!

Indiana Jones: I hate snakes!

Larry: Go away!

Indiana Jones: Okay.

He leaves. Nightmare whacks Larry with his tail, while Culex charges at him.

Culex: Demonic Punch!

Culex’s fist is enveloped in purple flames as he punches Nightmare into a wall.

Nightmare: Gah! You stupid little…

Nightmare transforms into his fourth form, looking like a certain pig-demon.

Nightmare: GRAAAAHHH!!

Nightmare punches Culex into a wall and then punches him in the gut.

Culex: Gah!

Dodo: Turbo Peck!

Dodo uses Turbo Peck, which greatly annoys Nightmare.

Nightmare: Enough!!

Nightmare transforms again!

Nightmare: I will destroy you!!

Nightmare rams into Dodo, knocking him into Culex.

Both: Guba!!

Shy Ranger shoots a few lasers at Nightmare, then karate kicks Nightmare into a wall.

Nightmare: THAT’S IT!

Nightmare changes into his final form!

Nightmare: Now I’ll show you fear!!

Black tendrils come from Nightmare’s back that attach themselves to the quartet’s heads.

Larry: What is this?

Dodo: Does this mean we get food?

Culex: *pulling on his tendril* They won’t come off!

Nightmare: Now… sleep!!

The four immediately fall asleep.

Nightmare: Now to see their nightmares…

Nightmare closes his eye as the tips of the tendrils start glowing an ominous purple.

Nightmare: I’ll look at that fat bird first…

Nightmare focuses and enters Dodo’s worst nightmare. He appears in front of Dodo, who is very skinny and in the middle of a desert.

Dodo: So… hot. No… food. I’m gonna die…

Nightmare: That’s pathetic…

Dodo: Huh?

Dodo sees Nightmare. He then sees Nightmare as a cake.

Dodo: FOOOOOD!!!

Nightmare: Wait, what?

Dodo starts biting Nightmare furiously as the demon tries to shake the hungry bird off.

Dodo: Must… eat! Fooood!!

Nightmare: Enough of this!

Nightmare exits the dream.

Nightmare: I’ll try the purple demon next…

Nightmare enters Culex’s dream, teleporting in front of Culex.

Nightmare: What in God’s name…?

Culex is shoveling handfuls of spaghetti into his mouth from a large pot and sobbing while doing so.

Culex: *in between sobs and mouthfuls of spaghetti* So much… too much…!

Nightmare: …

Nightmare exits the dream.

Nightmare: I think I may need therapy… Let’s try the little Koopa!

Nightmare enters Larry’s dream.

Nightmare: All right, let’s see what you… Huh?

Nightmare sees Larry sitting on a throne surrounded by money.

Larry: Hello, peasant.

Nightmare: How is this a nightmare?!

Larry: I only have three billion dollars in here! I want FOUR billion!

Nightmare: That’s stupid!

Larry: You just don’t understand me!!

Larry hits Nightmare with his nose hairs, sending Nightmare into a wall.

Nightmare: Forget this!

Nightmare exits the dream.

Nightmare: Maybe that guy with the bag on his head will have a normal nightmare!

He enters Shy Ranger’s dream.

Nightmare: If this isn’t a normal nightmare, so help me I’ll… What the?

The dream is just Shy Ranger standing in a blank void.

Shy Ranger: Hello. Welcome to my dream.

Nightmare: What’s going on here?

Shy Ranger: I’m a spy, do you REALLY think I’d let you get inside my head so easily?

Nightmare: That’s not possible! I’m in control here!

Shy Ranger: Not anymore.

Shy Ranger removes his bag.

Nightmare: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Nightmare is forced out of the dream and the four tendrils vanish. The quartet wake up.

Larry: What just happened?

Dodo: My head hurts…

Culex: Spaghetti is evil…

Shy Ranger: I’ll handle this…

Shy Ranger takes out a small laser gun and shoots Nightmare in the eye.

Nightmare: GAH! AGGGH!!! Nooo!!!

Nightmare vanishes.

Larry: That was anticlimactic…

Shy Ranger: …

Suddenly Freddy Krueger enters the room.

Freddy Krueger: I can’t believe there was a dream sequence and I wasn’t part of it!

Larry: Well, sorry, it’s not our fault…

Freddy Krueger: Er… well… Shut up!

He leaves.

Culex: That was pointless. Anyway, can I join the group now?

Larry: Yes.

Culex: Yay!


Larry: Stop that! Now then, let’s go get our stuff back!

???: Wait…

Larry: What now?

The lantern breaks and Watt comes out.

Watt: I-

Larry: Dodo, eat her.

Watt: Wait, what?

Dodo eats Watt.

Larry: Now then, let’s just get this over with!

The four go into the next room to see the pink and green Shy Guys… along with General Guy and a small squad of Shy Guys.

Larry: Oh my DAD! What now?!

General Guy: So, you four are the ones causing trouble in MY Toy Box, huh?!

Larry: We really just want our stuff back…

General Guy: TOO BAD! Get them, boys!!

The small squad of Shy Guys charge at the quartet.

Culex: May I?

Larry: You may.

Culex: BURN!!!

Culex shoots fire at the Shy Guys, killing them all.

General Guy: Gah! Well… um… Get them, Anti Guy!

Anti Guy appears.

Anti Guy: As you wish, General.

Larry: Oh please, how strong can you-

Anti Guy rushes at Larry and punches him into a wall.

Larry: Pain…

Anti Guy then kicks Shy Ranger into Larry and punches Dodo in the gut, making the large bird collapse. He then punches Culex in the face, sending him into the wall as well.

Anti Guy: How dull.

Larry: Dull, huh!? Fine. Take this! Super Fist of the Nose Hair: A Day in the Army!

Everyone Else (this includes the Pink and Green Shy Guys): Huh?!

Everyone but Larry falls asleep. The scene changes and everyone who’s sleeping, is now sleeping in a cabin. Larry kicks in the door, wearing a sergeant’s outfit.

Larry: WAKE UP!!!

Larry throws hot coals at everyone. They all wake up.


Everyone lines up in front of Larry.

Larry: You’re maggots… all of you! I am here to change that! IS THAT CLEAR?!

All: Yes!

Larry electrocutes them with magic lightning.


All: Sir, yes sir!!

Larry: Good, now let’s go for a little jog!

General Guy: Wait just a minute! I’m the general here, I-


Larry punches General Guy in the face.

General Guy: Ow!

Larry: Any more objections?!

Dodo: No, but why do Culex, Shy Ranger, and I have to-


Larry slaps Dodo on the beak.

Dodo: Owie!


All: Sir, no sir!!

Larry: Good!

The scene changes to everyone running on a rocky road, except for Larry, who is riding a horse.

Larry: Keep running, maggots!

Pink Shy Guy: Why do you get a horse?

Larry: Be quiet!

Larry throws a rock at Pink Shy Guy.

Pink Shy Guy: Owie!

Larry: Anyone ready for breakfast?!

Dodo: Yes!

Larry: Good!

The scene changes to a cafeteria.

Larry: Everyone ready for eggs?!

All: Sir, yes sir!

Larry: Good!

Larry takes out a machine gun.


Larry fires eggs at them all.

All: Ow! Ow! Gah! Agh!

Larry: All right men, are you ready to die for your country?!

All: Sir, yes sir!

The building blows up and the attack ends. Everyone is back in the Toy Box. Everyone but Larry is hurt on the ground.

Culex: That was… short.

Larry: The chapter’s getting too long.

Culex: Fair enough.

General Guy: I… I won’t let you win!

Larry: Too late!

Larry unleashes his nose hairs and hits the four Shy Guys, killing them all. All the stolen items are dropped.

Larry: Hurray!

Everyone puts on their missing items.

Shy Ranger: That was easy.

Larry: Well, Shy Guys are just weak in… *puts on sunglasses* general.

Unseen Singer: YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Culex: What was-

Shy Ranger: Don’t question it.

Suddenly a card appears and Larry touches it, summoning Muskular.

Muskular: Thank you for saving me, I-

Larry: Shut up, blue guy, the chapter is over! (Who knew there was a Star Spirit here?)

Muskular: …

Actually, Larry is wrong. It’s not the end of the chapter! Back at Boo’s Mansion, a figure knocks on the door and Bootler answers.

Bootler: Hello, may I help you?

The figure holds up a picture of Larry.

Bootler: I’ve seen him, yes, but he’s not here anymore.

The figure puts the picture away, then shoots fire at Bootler.

Bootler: Aaahhh!!

Soon, the whole mansion is on fire. The figure laughs maniacally. Now then…

End of chapter! Who is this figure? Is it the fourth assassin? Why were the Shy Guys so easy to beat? Why did Culex’s nightmare involve spaghetti? You probably won’t find out the answer to any of these questions in Chapter 6: A reunion, Yoshis, and lots of lava!

Read on!

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