By Bandy Andy

Chapter 1: The Plan

It was a dark night at Bowser’s Castle. Bowser was sitting at his desk, staring at his latest plan to attack the Mushroom Kingdom.

“By God, this is stupid! What kind of idiot would try to turn Mario against Peach? Only me,” he sighed, throwing yet another piece of paper in the trash can next to his desk. He kicked his chair back, and after a moment of thinking, grabbed another piece of paper, a hint of a grin slowly spreading over his face.

At this moment, his 8 kids were all in the castle. Lemmy, who was developing into a sarcastic, rebellious punk, was listening to 5 Koopa Death Punch on his radio while staring at yet another cut on his hand.

“What in the world, freakin’ moron! I can’t believe you did that again!” he screamed angrily.

A smaller Koopa, who looked like him except with wild, swirly glasses, cringed. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I’m still working on my fencing skills”

“Yeah? Well, stop stinking, idiot.” Lemmy stormed out, taking his radio with him.

Iggy, the Koopa he’d been talking to, put down his foil and stared at his shoes. He had always been clumsy with anything to do with his hands, and felt hurt that Lemmy, his best friend for many years, was slowly starting to hate him, for not being ‘cool’ enough. He turned, picked up his foil, and threw it out the window, starting to cry.

Roy was running. He was scared out of his mind. “Holy Goombas!” he screamed as he ran, a gigantic army of Toads chasing him. He approached a castle and ran through the doors and shut them, panting with relief.

“No fair!” Bowser Junior, the youngest member of the family, threw his controller at Roy, pretending to actually care about losing. “Roy, you’re such a jerk,” he whined sarcastically, before straightening his face and saying, “Nice game, Bro.”

Roy grinned. “Knuckles?” They exchanged a fistbump with a grin, and prepared to start another game.

Wendy was talking with Morton in the hallway outside her room.

“No, lemon cake is nasty. I’d rather have vanilla,” she said, in an ‘I know best so shut up’ tone.

“Whaaaaat...? Okay, but chocolate is da best, agreed?”

“Totally. Let’s go chill until ‘Koopa Minds’ comes on, ‘kay?” Wendy grinned. Her brother was not that smart, and would never realize her sarcastic tone, unlike her very apt brother Larry, who was asleep upstairs after contracting a raging fever.

“Yeah. Chips?” Morton started towards the kitchen. He loved to eat, and was hoping she would say yes so he would have an excuse to eat.

“Nah Bro, just get me a Koke, a’ight?” She was wise to this, and purposefully made it so he couldn’t get anything.

“Sure.” He looked unhappy, then entered the kitchen and started looking in the fridge, pulling out the highly caffeinated beverage known as Koke. “Chilled, right?” Morton was famous for accidentally putting Kokes in the oven rather than the fridge, then giving them to people.

“Yeh. Hehehehehe…”

Ludwig entered the room where Roy and Junior were playing videogames, and said, “Dad vants us. Says he got a new plan…” Ludwig did not look happy at all.

“Oh my God, not again. I’ll get Lemmy ‘n Iggy, they were fencing upstairs.” Junior stood up and ran upstairs to find his older brothers.

“What this time, dude? He say?” Roy was puzzled. Bowser hadn’t come up with anything in a long time he would share with them. He refused to listen to anyone for strategic advice either.

“Nyet. He only vants us to come, he’ll tell us zen.”

“’Kay, but this is retarded.” Roy knew that it probably would be just as bad as the last plan, involving a fake set of Magic Stars with Roy impersonating Mario.

“Agreed. I’ll get Vendy and Morton.”

Ten minutes later, 8 of Bowser’s 9 kids had joined him in the throne room, where Bowser’s desk was located. Larry was bundled in a cloak and coughing. Bowser surveyed the room, and looked satisfied. He didn’t need his eldest daughter, as she was one of the reasons Lemmy was turning into a punk, as he had taken to worshipping her and her terrible behavior. Kate would have to wait to learn about this. Bowser stood up, and said, “Kids, I have a plan.”

A chorus of groans rang out, with Lemmy muttering, “Yeah, just like your last one? What idiot would think trying to impersonate Mario would work?”

Bowser grinned an embarrassed grin. “That doesn’t matter. It’s time to roll. I’ve actually thought of something. I don’t know if it will work, but here it is.

“You know Toad Town, where the castle is, has many entrances. One is by the sea. Another is Forever Forest via Gusty Gulch. Another is Dry Dry Desert. Yet another is through the Goomba Village grasslands. Another is via the pipes underneath Toad Town. Yet another is via Star Mountain, which is via Shiver Mountain…

“Now, this is what we are going to do,” Bowser said with a grin. “I’m going to assign each of you an area that you will mobilize your military on, and use to advance on Toad Town. However, the plan is not just to assault randomly and get thrown out. If you do not find success once you reach Toad Town – and I don’t doubt you will be having trouble due to the massive amounts of troops fighting you there - then you will, slowly, fall back, fighting all the way.

“Finally, once most of the Toad Town troops have been mobilized to attack you, on day 8 of our attack, I will send two airships and a large group of Paratroopas to attack the base, which will have been weakened by the troops leaving. We will proceed to burn the town, take the castle, and order all Mushroom troops to surrender to us.”

A stunned silence reined, as the realization that Bowser had finally had a competent plan set in. Roy, who was a military prodigy, started the applause, which though small, was gratifying for the king, who realized he had his kids’ trust that the plan would work.

“But vhat about who goes vhere?” Ludwig questioned. Inside he was cringing, as he hoped he got the sewers. He had never liked fighting, always preferring to be inside the castle, just being a regular person; and this plan would forever kill his chances at ever being regular. Larry also looked sick, both because he was sick and because he did not want to fight ever again, as his fever had been contracted after being nearly killed trying to kidnap the Chancellor of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Bowser smiled deceivingly, and said, “Ludwig, I will give you 50 of the best Koopa commandos we have, and you will setup in the sewers. Jam communications on the day of the airship drop: in 17 days, the 9th of Coperandoi. Then pop out of the sewers and burn the town. Kill all guards that you find in the sewers to prevent them raising the alarm.” Ludwig nearly gasped in relief. He would never be caught underground, and would not receive the poor reputation among the people once they had taken over.

Bowser paused, and then continued. “Lemmy, you will take Shiver Mountain, with a score of Duplighosts and the best Shy Guy snipers we have. Use them well.”

Lemmy was annoyed. He wanted to choose for himself where he’d fight. It didn’t matter that he would have chosen Shiver Mountain anyway. Well, at least I did get what I wanted, even if Retard King thinks I’m still a baby so I can’t choose for myself.

Bowser looked at Lemmy’s nasty expression, sighed, and continued. “Morton, you will go through Dry Dry Desert. Take our best desert soldiers, and try to round up the Bandits roaming the desert too.”

Morton was horrified. He always had to fight in the desert, and he hated doing so. He nervously began to mutter, “King, sir, um, could I maybe-“

At this Bowser angrily interjected. “No! You will do as I say. I’m your king.”  Morton looked unhappy.

Bowser sighed again, and started to say something about toughening up his kids, when he just cut it off with, “Never mind. Larry, you will go through Goomba Village, using as many tanks and soldiers as you can. Be careful of the small stations of troops out there, they can be tricky to fight, and often fight dirty, like us.”

Larry looked neutral. Inside, he was happy. He got to take the least dangerous route in his belief. “Yes sir,” he said, more than happy to acquiesce to his father on that part. He had always been the kid who was good, at least as good as a son of Bowser could be. Unfortunately, he was a poor military strategist, and even worse as a fighter, but even with those weaknesses he was Bowser’s favorite out of all of his sons and his two daughters, one who was not in the room currently. This of course meant that his siblings would hate him for being the favorite, and beat on him all the time; and as he couldn’t fight very well, he was basically powerless to stop them. This led to Larry almost never speaking with any of his siblings, even when they insulted him. His mother, before she had died, had been his only real friend, and he had become even quieted since she was killed by an errant missile hitting the castle.

Bowser then continued, turning to Wendy and Iggy. “You two will work together. Wendy, you will take the fleet out to sea and patrol the waters. Let nothing go through that isn’t Koopa sympathizing or Koopa itself. And you, Iggy, will take Lavalava Island, with a force of Marine Guys. The beachhead is a well defended area, so be careful. Once you have done this, you will notice the missile launchers. Launch Missiles at Toad Town, round the clock. Understand?”

Two heads nodded. Wendy was very happy. She was a born sea captain, and would thrive. Iggy was also happy. He wouldn’t be in as much danger as the other kids because of how far away he was to be stationed, and because of Wendy’s battleships patrolling the area.

Bowser was satisfied with the looks on their faces, and moved over to Roy. “Roy, you will take your best troops, and sweep through Gusty Gulch and Forever Forest. Destroy all enemies of Koopa. Spare none.”

Roy was a little surprised, but still happy with his role. He’d get to pay back his old enemy, Tubba Blubba, who was a turncoat. He had thought he’d lead the drop, but he was even happier with this role. He grinned.

Bowser then moved to Junior. “You will be the air drop commander. On the 9th of Coperandoi, you and 500 troops will parachute or fly down on the city. Have your airship hover over the base along with some fighters to draw AA fire away so you can land safely. Then burn the regular town, take the castle, and order all Mushroomers to surrender.”

Junior couldn’t believe it. He’d been given the most important role. He jumped up with a fistpump. Now I’ll show them I can fight like a pro!

Bowser surveyed the room. “Everyone happy? Then,” he continued, “prepare your men for battle. You have 9 days to prepare everything. You are now dismissed.”

Read on!

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