Chapter 3: For a Moment Forest
(Bowser Castle)
Princess Peach: So, Twinkie, have you found out anything new?
Twinkie: No, but I am hearing odd noises coming from down the hall. Want to take the secret passage and go see?
Peach: I'm surprised they still haven't
blocked that...
(Bowser's room)
Bowser: Okay, Peach, time for you to come to my castle!
Mario: Not if I can help it-a, Bowser!
Mario starts pounding Bowser.
Peach: You show him, Mario!
Mario: Mario saves the day again-a!
Peach: My hero!
Bowser (putting the Mario, Peach, and
Bowser
dolls on the table): Ahh, that was
fun. I love playing with my Mario, Peach, and Bowser action figures!
Peach: Uhh, Bowser?
Bowser (trying to hide the dolls): Err... uuuh... Peach! What are you doing out of your cell?
Twinkie: We heard strange noises.
Bowser: Ahh... You didn't see any of that, did you?
Peach: No, we didn't see you playing with your dolls again.
Bowser: Oh, good.
Peach and Twinkie leave.
Bowser: Hey, wait a second...
(Peach's cell)
Twinkie: Hahaha! Man, that was the best! Too bad we couldn't record it!
Peach: I wouldn't be too sure about that...
Twinkie: Huh?
Peach holds up an iPhone.
Twinkie: Gasp! You didn't!
Peach: I did.
(Bowser's control room)
Smith: You know, guys, I really wouldn't watch that again.
Minions: What could go wrong?
Smith: Fine, but when Bowser storms in here and finds you watching him playing with dolls on Youtube, I won't take the blame...
Bowser (storming in): Minions!
Minions (hiding their laptops): Y-yes, sir?
Bowser: It's that time of the year again!
The minions all gasp in suspense.
Bowser: It's time to announce the Minion of the Year Awards!
Minions: Hurrah!!!
Smith: It had better be me. I'm the only minion here with any brains.
Bowser: And the minion of the year is...
Minions (jumping up and down): Me! ME!
Bowser: Jerry the Dry Bones!
Smith: WHAT?!
Jerry: ***,**?! * ***'* ******* **!!!
Jerry runs up and accepts the award.
Smith: I can't believe it. After everything I've done?
Bowser: You're always questioning my orders!
Smith: That's because your orders are highly questionable.
Bowser: You never bring me my coffee!
Smith: Oh, and Jerry does?
Bowser: No, but he doesn't question my orders!
Smith: That's because his intelligence is highly questionable.
Bowser: That's it! I've had it with you! I wish I had a cooler minion!
The Star Rod glows. The Blue Power Ranger appears.
Blue Ranger: Dino Thunder!
Smith: Why would you wish for him?! He's a good guy!
Blue Ranger beats up Bowser and leaves.
Bowser: Oww... Dang it.
Smith: I rest my case.
Bowser: Don't be so sure, 'cause I've done something way smarter than you ever could!
Smith: Oh, really?
Bowser: That's right! Mario is finished, 'cause I've sent the invincible Flubba Blubba after him!
Smith: I'll bet you thirty coins it won't work.
Bowser: Deal!
Both grin.
(Onboard the plane)
Luigi: Okay, guys, check this out. There are a lot of places on the map we got from Glitzville that might have Sacred Beans.
Shif T: One of them is in a forest, one is in a giant toybox, and one is near a volcano.
Rob-omb: I guess our trip to Glitzville wasn't wasted after all. This should really help us collect the Sacred Beans!
Mario: Wait... We were supposed to collect those?
Luigi: Yes... Why?
Mario: Uh oh...
Rob-omb: Oh, no, what did you DO?!
Mario: Well, you see, I got really hungry, and there isn't any food on this plane...
Luigi: Oh, my God, you ate the Sacred Beans?!
Mario: Don't worry, you'll see them again in a few days.
Shif T: NOOO!!!
Luigi: MAMAMIA!!!
Rob-omb: WHYYYY?!
Plane: @@@@@GH!!!
Mario: Cool it, guys, I was just joking!
Luigi: Say what?!
Mario: I didn't eat the Sacred Beans! They're still in the bag.
Rob-omb: I can't believe it.
Shif T: Mario was clever twice... That worries me.
Plane: Now arriving in Mushroom Kingdom outskirts.
Mario: Hey, Shif T, tell me again how you managed to get the plane to go where we want?
Shif T: Don't ask. Let's just say it involved a bit of hotwiring.
Plane: We have arrived, Master Descole.
Luigi: ...
Shif T: Well, it still has a few bugs. Besides, I think Descole has a nice ring to it.
They exit the plane.
Mario: Hey, Professor! We're back!
Luigi: Hmm... That's odd. We're usually greeted by a loud explosion. Maybe E. Gadd has finally-
A loud explosion is heard.
Luigi: ... Never mind.
They enter the house.
E. Gadd (covered with soot): Greetings, gentlemen.
Rob-omb: What crazy invention were you working on this time?
E. Gadd: My uranium mine in Asbury Park.
Shif T: But, this is the Mushroom Kingdom!
E. Gadd: Yes, so once I complete the mine, I'll move it to Asbury Park!
Luigi: ... Why am I not surprised?
Mario: We found a map leading to the next Sacred Beans!
E. Gadd (reading the map): Hmmm... This map points us to three different places. One is a place called "For a Moment Forest", one is a giant toybox called "The Looney Bin", and one is in a place called "Really Hot Place".
Mario: Where should we head first?
E. Gadd: Here, hand me the map.
Mario hands E. Gadd the map and it explodes.
Mario: Oh, shoot, I forgot everything E. Gadd touches explodes.
Luigi: NOOOO!!!
Mario: MAMAMIA!!!
Rob-omb: WHYYY?!
Shif T: STOP!!! We still know where to go, and we can mark the spots on a regular map!
Mario: Oh. Sorry.
E. Gadd: Anyway, I think you should head for the forest first since it's the closest.
Luigi: Before we go, we should stock up on supplies in Toad Town.
Mario: Let's-a go!
(In Toad Town)
Mario: Let's go to that shop there.
Mario and Co. walk up to a shop. A tall man in a white cloak is at the counter.
Mario: Hello, sir, we'll take three Poison Mushrooms, a Cooking Mistake, some Fish Bones, and Trial Stew.
Luigi: WHAT?! We can't eat those!
Mario: You need to toughen up, Luigi.
The owner hands Mario the terrible items.
Mario: Thank you, sir!
They leave.
???: Imbeciles... muttered Count Bleck.
(Onboard the plane)
Shif T: Hey, Rob-omb, what do you think is worse, the ignorance or the apathy?
Rob-omb: I don't know and I don't care.
Mario: Hey, guys, where's Luigi?
Rob-omb: I don't know and I don't care.
(Outside)
Luigi: WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY ANVILS?!
(Inside)
Shif T: So, what's our plan for when we arrive?
Rob-omb: I say we chart a course, then do some recon and analyze-
Mario: Let's just walk in random directions.
Shif T: Deal.
Rob-omb: If Luigi were here, he'd disagree...
Plane: Would anyone like a smoothi-
Everyone Else: NO!!!
Rob-omb: Have you been able to reach Princess Peach's cell phone yet?
Mario: No, not yet...
Shif T: If only you had switched to AT&T...
Mario: Hey, I hear screaming again...
Shif T: Hey, I hear it too...
Rob-omb: Yeah, same here...
Mario: I think it's coming from the window.
Mario heads over to the window.
Plane: Sir, would you like a cold hors d'ouvres?
Mario: No, thank you.
Plane: Would you like some toast?
Mario: Wha- No! I don't want any toast.
Plane: Would anyone else like any toast?
Mario: No, nobody wants any toast!
Plane: Would you like it later?
Mario: Look, I don't want any toast, and they don't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever, NO TOAST!
Plane: How about a muffin?
Mario: Or muffins! We don't like muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns, and DEFINITELY no friggin flapjacks.
Plane: Ahh, so you're a waffle man!
Mario: Forget you!
Mario and Co. look out the window and see Luigi hanging from the wing.
Mario: Oh, my God!
Shif T: Oh, my God!
Rob-omb: Oh, my God!
Dimentio: Oh, my God!
Mario: Wha- DIMENTIO?! What are you doing here?!
Dimentio: Uhh, nothing. Ciao!
Dimentio teleports away.
Rob-omb: Uuh, Mario?
Mario: Oh, yeah. Oh, my God! Luigi, are you okay?!
Luigi: I'M HANGING FROM A WING WITH ANVILS SMASHING MY FACE!!! NO, I'M NOT OKAY!!!
Rob-omb: How can we get him back in?!
Shif T: Don't worry! E. Gadd gave me something for just this occasion! Behold, his patent-pending "Pull Luigi Off the Wing" 5000!
Mario: What the...?
Shif T uses the device and pulls Luigi back in.
Rob-omb: Are you okay, Luigi?
Luigi: Yes, thank you for asking, Rob-omb.
Mario: Hey, how come- Aww, never mind.
Shif T: How do you explain this, 30M3?!
Plane: Insufficient data to answer.
Shif T: I'll bet.
Rob-omb: You've got a lot of explaining to do, 30M3!
Luigi: I can tell you what happened!
Plane: Incoming projectile!
Mario: Wha-?!
A lavender-colored missile hits the plane.
Mario: Aagh!!! We're going down!!!
Rob-omb: Mayday! Mayday! I wonder why it's always mayday. It's only a bank holiday. Ascension Sunday! Ascension Sunday! Fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost! Fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost!
Luigi: It's French, you dork! M'aidez, not mayday!
Rob-omb: You lost me.
The plane crashes in a forest.
Mario: Aauugh... Is everyone okay?
Rob-omb: Yeah...
Shif T: Yes...
Luigi: Sure...
Plane: No...
Mario: Okay, good! Everyone's okay!
Luigi: What in the world was that?!
Rob-omb: Some kind of missile...
Shif T: Wish I could have gotten a closer look.
Luigi: A CLOSER LOOK?! IT RAMMED STRAIGHT INTO US!!!
Shif T: Still not close enough.
Rob-omb: Wait a minute, where are we?
Shif T: According to the map, it looks like we landed exactly where we needed to go; we're in "For a Moment Forest"!
Luigi: How convenient.
Mario: Wait... Aren't there... g-g-ghosts?!
Shif T: Why are you so afraid of ghosts? That's Luigi's job!
Luigi: Hey!
Rob-omb: Don't worry, Mario. I'm sure there are no ghosts!
A Boo appears behind Rob-omb.
Mario: R-R-R-Rob-omb! L-look out behind you!
Rob-omb: Oh, please, like I'd fall for that old trick.
The Boo taps Rob-omb on the shoulder.
Rob-omb: What do you want?
Boo: BOOOO!!!
Everyone Else: EEEEEKKK!!!
They all run off.
Boo: Hmm... Maybe I shouldn't yell "Boo"
at the people I want to ask for directions...
(Later)
Mario: Whew... I think we lost him.
Luigi: This is just like the time those Koopas chased me because someone said I thought their costumes were dumb.
Mario: Yeah. I can't believe those Koopas fell for my trick.
Luigi: Wait... THAT WAS YOU?!
Mario: Oh... That was not the right thing to say.
Rob-omb: Luigi? Are you okay? Why are you all red?
Shif T: Yeah, you might want to start running now.
Luigi: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
Mario: EEEK!!! Wait, Luigi! Look out behind you!
Luigi: Oh, right, like I'm going to fall for that.
Boo: Excuse me, do you know which way the center of the woods is?
Luigi: Nope, sorry. Wait a second...
Everyone: EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!
They run away again.
Boo: Why me?
After twelve more times of this, they reach a clearing.
Mario: *pant...* I think we lost him.
Rob-omb: Again.
Shif T: Hey, look!
They look ahead and see three pathways.
Luigi: Great. Which one do we pick?
Shif T: Well, this path here looks different than the other two, so if we take it-
Mario: We should take this path!
Shif T: But, y-
Mario: LET'S-A GO!!!
Rob-omb: This can't end well...
They travel down the left path for about an hour.
Luigi: We're getting nowhere...
Shif T: I really think we should take another path...
Mario: Don't worry! If we just keep
moving, we'll make it there in no time for sure!
Five hours later…
Shif T: I REALLY think we should take another path...
John Koopa: I agree. I can't keep typing this. It's almost dinnertime!
Mario: You're right. We've been going in a complete circle for hours.
Everyone else: WHAAAT?!
Mario: Let's go back to the main clearing.
(At the clearing)
Luigi: Wait... You KNEW that we were going the wrong way?!
Mario: No, I thought if we kept moving, we could find the end of the circle.
Rob-omb: Hey, Luigi, how do you keep changing colors like that?
Luigi: AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
Mario: Wow, I never thought I'd live to see a twenty-one-letter word.
Rob-omb: Hey, guys, do you hear something?
Shif T: You mean other than Luigi screaming?
Mario: Hey, I hear it too...
Rob-omb: It's coming from the middle path.
Mario: Let's-a go.
Luigi: Oh, I give up.
They head down the middle path.
Mario: Hey, guys, what's this bucket of water doing here?
Shif T: Just throw it away and forget about it.
Mario throws the bucket of water away.
(Off in the distance)
Angry Sun: Mwahaha... At last... I will have my revenge on Mario! He may have gotten lucky once, he may have even gotten lucky twice, BUT HE AIN'T GETTI-
A bucket of water falls on Angry Sun and douses his flames.
Angry Sun: Aww, COME ON!!!
(Back on the path)
Mario: We must be close by now.
Luigi: That's what you said last ti-
Mario: Found it!
Luigi: *sigh...*
They see several Boos being beaten up by a monstrous, dark-blue beast.
Boo: Somebody help us!
???: Hahaha! You're pathetic!
Mario: Look! We have to help them!
Luigi: Woah, since when do you care about Boos?
Mario: Nobody deserves to be treated like that!
Mario rushes to the rescue.
Mario: Are you guys okay?
Boos: Yeah, I think so.
Mario: Use your sneaking ability to hide and escape from him. Regroup, and if I can't beat him, find help and take refuge until it arrives.
Boos: Thank you, kind hero!
Rob-omb: Woah, since when did Mario get so amazing?
Shif T: He's being clever, brave, intelligent, and decisive...That worries me.
Mario walks up to the creature.
Mario: Just who do you think you are?!
???: I'm the invincible FLUBBA BLUBBA!!!
Mario: Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you just back off, Flubby?
Flubba Blubba: Flubby? Grrr!!! NOBODY CALLS ME FLUBBY!!!
Flubba Blubba walks over and punches Luigi.
Luigi: Oww! Why did you hit me?!
Flubba Blubba: Because you called me Flubby!
Luigi: No I didn't! It was Mario!
Mario: Gee, thanks, Luigi.
Flubba Blubba: Don't ever call me that again!
Mario: Fine, Flubba Blubba.
Flubba Blubba: NOBODY CALLS ME FLUBBA BLUBBA!!!
Flubba Blubba punches Luigi again.
Luigi: What?! Flubba Blubba is your name!
Flubba Blubba: Yes, but nobody ever calls me that.
Mario: Well, what do they call you?
Flubba Blubba: They call me stupid-looking.
Mario: Stupid-looking?
Flubba: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME STUPID-LOOKING!!!
Flubba punches Luigi again.
Luigi: SHUT UP, MARIO!!!
Mario: That's it, whoever you are! You're going down!
{BATTLE SEQUENCE}
Mario: 75 HP
Vs.
Flubba Blubba: ??? HP
Mario: Feel the wrath of my Firestorm!!
(No noticeable damage)
Flubba Blubba: Hah! You are weak! Face
this, the dreaded Cosmic Fart!!!
(Mario: 45 HP)
Mario: Oh, God, you REALLY stink. But you'll never win!
Luigi: You tell him, Mario!
Mario: Behold! My Feather Duster of
Doom!!!
(Mario tickles Flubba with the feather
duster.)
Flubba: Hmmm... Well played, Hero. But you overlooked one thing... I'm not ticklish.
Mario: NOOOO!!! I have been defeated!
Mario flees from battle.
Luigi: Oh, are you kidding me?!
{BATTLE OVER}
Mario: It's no use... But why can't I defeat you?
Flubba: Because, while you may be strong, Bowser made me invincible!
Shif T: How?!
Flubba: Bowser took away my only weakness...
Rob-omb: Gasp! You don't mean…
Flubba: That's right! Bowser took away... my bladder!
Luigi: Wow...
Rob-omb: That's not what I was expecting...
Shif T: Only in a videogame...
Mario: Oh no...
Flubba: Now, to finish y-
Suddenly Mario and Co. get pulled into the shadows.
Flubba: Huh? Where'd everybody go? Marco?
Polo? MARCO?!
(Back in the clearing)
Mario: Woah... How did we end up here?
???: Because I transported you here.
Luigi: Who are you?
Lady Bow: My name now appears in the text box. I am the leader of the Boos.
Bootler: And I am her faithful butler, Bootler. I apologize for not getting here sooner, but I looked at my watch and saw it was teatime.
Lady Bow: I saw how bravely you fought against Flubba Blubba, so I saved you.
Luigi: But, why are you here now?
Lady Bow: Because I would like to join you...
Shif T: Gasp! A real Paper Mario partner?!
Lady Bow: But I can't, so I'll send Bootler.
Luigi: Oh, of course.
Bootler: I will fight by your side. I was quite the kickboxer in my day!
Luigi: But now you don't have any legs!
Bootler: That's beside the point. Now, would anyone like some hot coffee?
Bootler trips on thin air and spills it on Luigi.
Luigi: OOOOWWWW!!! How can you trip while floating?!
Bootler: Allow me to try again, sir.
After six more times of this, Bootler gives up.
Bootler: Well, I can still fight like
the dickens!
(Team members: 6)
Mario: Wait, since when do we have six team members?!
Shif T: Well, the plane still technically counts, even if it is incapacitated...
Luigi: Then how come it never helps us fight?!
Shif T: I dunno.
Mario: So, what do we do?
Lady Bow: You need to retrieve Flubba's weakness... his bladder.
Luigi: Eww! I don't wanna!
Lady Bow: I'll pay you five coins.
Luigi: Deal!
Both grin.
Mario: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's-a go!
Luigi: You're gonna have to stop doing
that...
(Later)
Bootler: Now, are you all sure you don't want any toast?
Everyone else: NO TOAST!!!
Mario: Jeeze... It sure is creepy around here...
Shif T: Yeah... Who knows what lurks around this creepy forest?
Rob-omb: There could be Lizardons, Tanoombas, and Boos!
Mario: Oh, my!
Bootler: I take offense to that.
Everyone else: Lizardons, Tanoombas, and Boos!
Mario: Oh, my!
Suddenly a Lizardon from Wario's Woods jumps out of a bush.
Lizardon: Roooaaarrr!!!
Everyone else: EEEK!!!
Bootler: Don't worry, sirs! I'll stop him!
Bootler tries to attack, but merely passes through Lizardon.
Luigi: Great, we're saddled with a Boo that can't fight.
Lizardon: Roaar! You're a bunch'a cowards! I'll fight you standing on one foot! I'll fight you with my eyes closed! You chickens!
Rob-omb slaps Lizardon.
Mario: Hey, I thought Rob-omb didn't have any hands.
Rob-omb: You should be ashamed of yourself, bullying us around like that!
Lizardon: (crying) Why'd you have to go and hit me? *sniff...*
Rob-omb: Why, you're nothing but a big coward!
Lizardon: You're right. I haven't any courage at all, ever since Wario's Woods where I get crushed by giant blocks over and over...
Mario: Well, that's too bad. I wish we could help!
Shif T: Well, maybe when we get the Star Rod back from Bowser, we can wish you had your courage!
Lizardon: Y-you'd do that for me?! Thank
you! For that, I'll tell you how to find Flubba Blubba's
only weakness in case you run into
him!
Luigi: Wait, how do you know Flubba
Blubba's
weakness?
Lizardon: Because I'm a plot device.
Anyway, his bladder is in the northwestern clearing of the woods. However,
you need to get the key
first, and its guardian is a strange
one...
Mario: Thanks, we'll remember you!
They leave.
Mario: Well, that was lucky. Who do you think is the guardian?
Rob-omb: Mickey Mouse. It isn't any more far-fetched than the rest of this story!
Shif T: You wish, Rob-omb.
Suddenly they spot a statue of a Tanoomba.
Mario: Look! It's a statue of a Tanoomba!
Luigi: Yeah, the text box just said that.
Mario: Hello? Can you hear us?
Tanoomba: ...Mumble...mumble...
Rob-omb: Why is he saying "Mumble"?
Mario: Quick! Get a can of the plane's oil and pour it on him!
They pour it on the Tanoomba and it turns back to normal.
Tanoomba: Thanks! I turned into a statue to escape Flubba Blubba, but then it rained and I rusted.
Bootler: I say, old chap, would you happen to know the location of Flubba's bladder?
Tanoomba: Yes. An odd Boo with no sense of direction has it.
Bootler: Thank you, sir. Good day.
Tanoomba: You know, I wish I had a heart-
Luigi: That's nice. Bye!
They leave.
Bootler: I say, old bean, where would one find someone with no sense of direction?
Rob-omb: Probably in Missouri.
Bootler: That is hardly helpful, old bean.
Rob-omb: Please don't call me "old bean".
Bootler: Very well, old bomb.
Mario: Look, there he is!
Boo: Oh, it's you guys again.
Luigi: Yes. Do you have the key?
Boo: Yes, but I'll only give it to someone who helps me find my way.
Luigi: Why did you scare us when we first met?
Boo: Because it's in my nature to yell
"Boo" at everyone I meet. I'm not all that bright because
I don't have a brain.
Mario: Really?
Boo: Oh, my mind would be fit as a fiddle, I'd solve every riddle, if I only had a brain...
Everyone else: There'd be no more doubts or guessing, you would only be progressing, if you only had a brain...
Bootler: You know, the right path is to the left.
Boo: Ahh! At last! I know where to go! Finally! As thanks, I'll give you this key.
Bootler: Cherio, old Boo!
Mario: Hmm... This key looks odd.
Lackey: Get your hands off me! HELP! HELP!
Mario: EEK!!! It talks!
Lackey: That's right, yeti-lip! The name's Lackey!
Luigi: Bad puns...
Mario: We're gonna use you to get Flubba's bladder!
Lackey: Why? It's right over there!
Lackey points to a bush.
Mario: So... we went through all that for nothing?
Lackey: Yep.
Rob-omb: But, that means Flubba isn't
really invincible!
(Bowser Castle)
Smith: Bowser, did you really make Flubba invincible, or did you just put his weakness in a bush like you always do?
Bowser: Don't worry. I'll make him invincible... tomorrow.
Smith: *sigh...* Thirty coins, here
I come...
(For a Moment Forest)
Mario: All right, let's go beat Flubba
and get the
Sacred Bean!
Everyone but Luigi: WAHOO!!!
Luigi: Whee...
Bootler: I say, all this excitement has left me in need of a spot of tea.
Rob-omb: Not now, Bootler! We've got work to do!
Bootler: You're right, old bomb! Let's get to work!
The five charge into the central clearing.
Flubba Blubba: So, you have returned.
Mario: You got that right!
Rob-omb: Wow, it seems like Mario becomes a different person when someone's in actual danger!
Shif T: I guess that's what makes him the hero of this story. We should probably let him deal with Flubba Blubba.
Flubba: Hah! You can't win! I have an army of Clubbas with me! Clubbas! To arms!
Clubbas: Zzzzzz...
Flubba: Oh, great, sleeping on the job AGAIN?!
Clubbas: Zzzzzz...
Flubba: How come you never obey my orders?!
Clubbas: Zzzz... Your orders... are stupid...
Flubba: Wait, if you're asleep, how can you say that?!
Clubbas: Zzzzzz...
Flubba: GRR... It looks like I have no choice but to cut your salary!
The Clubbas all wake up.
Clubbas: We're ready for battle, sir!
Flubba: That's more like it! Clubbas! ATTACK!!!
Mario: Hmm... There's way too many of them. This looks like a job for a real superhero!
Rob-omb: Gasp! You don't mean...
Mario: Oh, I mean.
Mario jumps into a telephone booth and becomes Paper Mario.
Luigi: Wait, where did that phone booth come from?!
Mario: This is a job for... Flatman.
(Doo dee doo dee FLATMAN!!!)
Flatman: Rob-omb! To me!
Rob-omb: Holy awesome reunion, Flatman!
Luigi: Hey, no fair...
Flubba: Just try to beat me, flat-head!
{BOSS BATTLE!!!}
Flatman: 75 HP
Rob-omb: 85 HP
Vs.
Flubba: ???: HP
Clubbas: 120 HP
Flatman: Hah! You can't win, Flubba, for we have found your only weakness!
Flubba: No! It can't be!
Flatman: That's right! We found... YOUR BLADDER!!!
Flatman rushes forward, opening Flubba's anatomy with Lackey and placing the bladder inside.
Flubba: NOOO!!! I can feel myself getting
weaker! And I have to go potty!
(Flubba: 130 HP)
Flatman: Face the power of the Flat-marang!
(Flubba: 110 HP)
Rob-omb: Feel the wrath of my Horribly
Cheesy
Catchphrases!
(Clubbas: 92 HP)
Flubba: I REALLY GOTTA GO!!! Eat this!
Hubba Bubba Max Gum!
(Mario: 68 HP)
Rob-omb: Holy cheap artificial flavor, Flatman!
Clubbas: Heh... Hubba Bubba...
Flubba: Stop making fun of my name, and attack!
Clubbas: Go! Naptime!
(The Clubbas go back to sleep.)
Flubba: Oh, COME ON!!!
Flatman: Go, Flat Coke!
(Flubba: 97 HP)
Flubba: Uugh! I hate flat coke!
Bootler: Don't worry! I'll help too!
(Bootler tries to attack Flubba but
trips on thin air again.)
Rob-omb: Holy worthless partners, Flatman!
Go, Flat-Bomb!
(Flubba: 80 HP)
Flubba: Oh, yeah? Take this, flatty!
Go, Punch! ...of Death!
(Mario: 45 HP)
Flatman: You're just making this up as you go along.
Flubba: Yeah, but so is the author!
Clubbas: Zzzzzz...
Flubba: WHY ARE MY MINIONS SO WORTHLESS?!
Luigi: Join the club, buddy.
Shif T: Heh... Club... Clubbas...
Luigi: Yeah, we get it.
Mario: Wait, why aren't you three helping?
Luigi: Uhh... err... We have to... umm...
Bootler: We're certainly not cowering in fear, if that's what you're thinking...
Shif T: We're right behind you! WAAAYY behind you!
Mario: I'm completely flaterghasted.
Oh, well, at least I have the protective powers of my Flat Jacket!
(Flatman: DEF up)
Rob-omb: And I still have my Flat Iron!
(Flubba: 55 HP)
Mario: That's why they call us flatfoots!
Flubba: OWWW!!! That hurt! And I still
have to go!!! Bodyslam!
(Rob-omb: 35 HP)
Flatman: NO! Rob-omb!
Clubbas (waking up): Aha! It worked!
They didn't attack us! Mass Blast!
(Flatman: 22 HP)
Flatman: Urrgh... I'm being flattened...
Rob-omb: Is this the end?!
Flubba: Uughh... That's it! I can't hold it any longer!!!
Flubba Blubba flees the battle.
Luigi: ... I can see why it's his only weakness.
Shif T: Unbelievable.
Bootler: Well, I guess it's safe to join the fight now.
Luigi: 100 HP
Shif T: 90 HP
Bootler: 2 HP
Clubbas: Oh, shoot.
Flatman: Combo Attack!
Shif T: Shakedown!
Luigi: Green Flame!
Rob-omb: Bob-ombast!
Bootler: Hot Coffee Spill!
Flatman: Flat-ulence!
MASSIVE DAMAGE!!!
(Clubbas: 0 HP)
{BOSS BATTLE ENDED!!!}
Mario changes back to normal.
Mario: Whew, we did it.
Rob-omb: What do you mean "we"? Flatman and the rest of us did all the work while you were gone doing who knows what!
Mario: *sigh...*
Luigi: Well, it looks like Flubba didn't have the Sacred Bean after all.
Bootler: Wait, you want the Sacred Bean?
Luigi: Yeah. Do you know where it is?
Bootler: Umm... well...
(Inside Boo Mansion)
Lady Bow: Ahh, at last, my bean collection
is finished.
(In the forest)
Luigi: Are you kidding me?
Bootler: Sorry, but if you want the bean, you must see her.
Mario: Fine, let's go.
(Boo Mansion)
Lady Bow: So, you want my bean?
Mario: Yes, please.
Lady Bow: Hmm... You did save my people... and your manners are splendid... Very well. I'll give them to you on one condition. I may not look like it, but I'm quite the culinary master, and I need some new ingredients for my Spooky Stew.
Mario: What ingredients do you need?
Lady Bow: I need three Poison Mushrooms, a Cooking Mistake, some Fish Bones, and Trial Stew.
Luigi: Where can we get those?
Mario: Hey, Luigi, Look! Don't you remember? We bought all those things at the Toad Town market!!!
Luigi: Wow! I never thought those would have a use!
Mario hands Lady Bow the ingredients.
Lady Bow: Thank you. And now, Mario, I present you the Sacred Bean!
Mario: Finally! We got-a the Sacred Bean!!!
Luigi: But there's still something I don't understand...
Lady Bow: Yes?
Luigi: Who fired that missile at us
in the first place?
(Bowser Castle)
Bowser: Well, Smith, even though I lost 30 coins, I must say that was some nice shooting.
Smith: Thank you, Master...
Both: Mwahahahahahahaa!!!