The sewer was dank and dark. Murky water and god knows what was on the ground, as two black boots stomped in the black liquid. Mario stood there, looking at his new job, wearing the best set of blue overalls a plumber could buy. His red shirt was dirty, of course, and his gloves were subpar; but for a plumber, he was actually a fancy dresser.
Behind Mario was a door with lots of light coming out of it. Inside the door were two guards holding their noses while trying to pray to the star gods that Mario would just venture on and they could shut the door.
“So, here’s what we need for you to do,” one of the guards said. “When you go further in you’ll find the pipe room. The pipe connecting to the royal sink is damaged beyond repair; we need you to replace the pipe. Also while you’re in there would you please destroy any monsters you might find in there?”
Mario looked at the guards, shrugged, and ventured on. The guards sighed heavily with relief as the door quickly slammed.
Mario got out the map of the sewer he was given, and studied it very carefully. Soon he came across a fork in the road. There were two paths, yet only one man. The map said the pipe room was through the left passage, but there was light coming from the right.
Mario had to choose, would he follow common sense or his curiosity? Mario tucked the map in his toolbox and went right. The hallway was very foreboding; torches were on each wall and Mario came across the corpse of a Koopa Troopa. In its hand was a piece of parchment. Mario grabbed the piece of parchment, breaking the hand as he read it. This is what it said.
“10,009 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,009 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around, you got 10,008 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,008 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,008 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around, you got 10,007 bottles of beer on the wall-” and the note went on.
Mario re-read the note many times and confirmed that this Koopa Troopa had counted at least 5,000 bottles. There was quite a lot of objects on this guy. He even had a cell phone with excellent connectivity and a full battery.
Mario, however, just shrugged and kept the note. He then ventured on through the right passage until he came across a large green pipe. Two torches were above it and cobwebs covered it. Mario then realized he had gone the wrong way, but didn’t move. He looked at the giant pipe with great awe, and rubbed his finger on it, analyzing the dust. He merely rubbed his hands together, sighed, and entered the pipe.
Soon he was sucked up into the pipe. Light came from the end of it. The journey ended quickly as he was shot out of the other end of the pipe, landing on the ground. When he got up and looked around he realized this was some sort of bathroom. The sink was very dirty, as was the device that released the water. He turned the knob and watched as dirty water came out. Everything about this bathroom was devious, especially the toilet that had shot him out. It was all green and spiky. At first nothing clicked, but then the door creaked. That’s when Mario realized where he was. The door then burst open as Bowser entered with a newspaper.
Awkwardness ensued as Mario looked at Bowser and Bowser and looked at Mario.
“Uh,” Bowser said, “any particular reason you’re in my bathroom?”
Mario tried to speak, but couldn’t, because of the giant onslaught of awkwardness. However, he soon got the courage to point at the sink.
“You’re here to fix the sink,” Bowser said skeptically. He walked towards Mario and glared at him. “Without pay?”
Mario quickly stopped being nervous, shrugged, and merely nodded. Bowser barely blinked.
“Just get back in the toilet, Faucet Face.”
Bowser left the bathroom and Mario heard a short conversation. “Sir, how was your restroom break?”
A sigh was heard. “Do you really want to know?”
“Uh, that depends.”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
Mario then jumped into the toilet and, after a few seconds, was back in the sewer.